For you, guys, who can't stop reading because you *need* your happy ending, but you would've if there was one.
This is an alternate ending for this story. You can skip it if you want. Or you can stop reading here if you want.
Enjoy.
M.
Chapter 86
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Jack had been the last of them to leave. Just as he rounded the corner, he knew he had to go back. He wasn't sure what he was hoping for, but he knew what he wanted. Her. He wanted her.
He'd managed to convince himself that if he had her. The dislike he had for Parker not being his would fade in the background. She would become the daughter he'd always wanted.
Maybe Parker would gain a rather old but still somewhat likable old man. He knew by Janet's experience with Cassie (and his own) that sometimes blood wasn't as much of a need to fully love someone and help them grow.
So, he parked his truck outside her house. It was already dark and quiet, safe for the soft tunes of a song that came from the backyard. He followed the sounds and found her cleaning up the remnants of the night by the light of one heater that was still turned on.
His heart skipped a beat. By the way she stopped moving, he knew she knew he was there. She turned around, a soft smile gracing her features.
"Jack," she whispered so softly. That he only caught it because his eyes were fixed on her lips.
"Sam…" he sighed.
No one knew who moved first, but they were clinging to each other before they could even realize they were. It was home. It was so different from the previous nights and yet so damn similar. It was arms that encircled them even though they were both so broken. Strength was flowing between them, even if they never voiced the request.
It was their love.
That thing that had grown between bad jokes shared at faraway campfires. Screams of pain and surviving torture, alone but together. Strengthened by the knowledge that the other one would be there, outside, waiting for them to return. To try to soothe what it was impossible to quell by a torn embrace in the dark when the pain was beyond excruciating. When everything was so forbidden and yet impossible to stop.
That thing that had blossomed in a week, under needy touches and brusque lovemaking. Springing to new heights with their touches. Growing in richness as lips moved along at bruising speed. Trying to learn what before was out of reach. Trying to grasp on to every bittersweet moment that would lead them to a future that was beyond uncertain. Where the only truth was they would be alone to face it, for the first time in years.
That thing that somehow was keeping them alive as minutes became hours, and hours years that went by under their belts. Making them sour and bitter, yet still able to keep a facade that showed them as neither but the tough people they supposedly were.
"Wanna dance?" He asked. As the soft tones of a song -their song- sounded in the background of her house, his house… What should've been their home and wasn't. He stretched out his hand and undoubtfully she took it, because what else could she do? Except take the chance to finally confide in this wonderful man that somehow, despite it all, loved her. She had no chance to reject him. She might be self-doubting, but she was no fool. She knew that no matter how unlucky she thought she was. He was beyond the jackpot in her life. He was all she wanted and so much more.
"Jack…" She whispered as her body collapsed against his. His warmth spreading through her body, igniting every fiber of her being. Reminding her that she was alive, and well… And that he was there, with her. Growing old…
Her hand found the nape of his neck, as his found the small of her back. There was one question that remained. There was something that bothered her. One thing she hadn't managed to bring herself to ask before.
Parker… Where would Parker fall in this thing, they were seemingly developing? When he seemed not to want to know anything about her at all.
"Yes?" He almost hummed in her ear. She shivered.
"Why don't you like Parker? Why don't you care about her?" She wondered. Feeling strong enough to ask him, but not enough to read the answer on his face. He took a deep, shaky breath.
"It's not that I don't like her, Sam." He whispered. His breath caressing her cheek. "It's that she's not mine." Sam stopped moving, a deep frown on her forehead and an utterly confused expression on her face.
"What do you mean?" She inquired. He took a deep breath. He had feared the day she'd ask. He had a certain amount of apprehension. That she, one day, would figure out that despite liking the girl, he also despised her for not being his. But he didn't see the anger in her expression.
"I would love her if she was mine, but she isn't… And I'm so sorry she is not."
"I really don't understand."
"It's all right, Sam. I understand that you had needs. That you are young enough to want to search for some company. I won't hang that over your head."
"I think you're utterly mistaken, Jack… I haven't been with anyone but you…. Not since 2001. Not since we got married." She whispered. He frowned.
"You mean…"
"That's your daughter, Jack. Parker is yours…"
"Oh God," It was his turn to stop dead in his tracks. "She's…"
"Yes, of course. She couldn't be anyone else's Jack." He looked at Sam, and brought her close, almost too close. Hugging her tightly. Feeling the parts of his broken heart melding together just by being close to her. Even faster now, that they would have a family. A real family for themselves, albeit eleven years too late.
"I have a daughter," He stated in an unbelieving whisper.
"Yes. Wait, it's that why you were so angry with me?" She asked. The final piece of their puzzle finally coming together in her mind.
"Yeah," He said, and shook his head. Then he chuckled. His laugh becoming contagious until they were both laughing at their own stupidity. "God, it would have been so much easier if we'd this conversation way before," Jack added and pulled her close again.
The music changed into a different song. They swayed again. His hand found hers and brought it over to his heart. Her free hand found the nape of his neck and his the small of her back. They were so close that they seemed to be only one being swaying with the wind.
"Why didn't you say something?" He whispered.
"I thought… You got my file… I thought Davis might've told you about her. That day when you came by… I thought you already went through my file. That you were coming to meet her. But you rushed away so fast. Then I also thought you were avoiding reading it. I thought, after seeing her, you would go through my file or just calculate it back. I thought you would know that I could never betray you, no matter how impossible it seemed. I assumed so much. I guess it cost us so much," She sighed. "When you got so angry with me… I thought you had gotten mad that I had kept her from you. Even after we'd met before and I could've told you about her. I got all these excuses ready, as for the reasons you never asked about her. I never thought… Not even in my wildest dreams, that you never considered her yours."
"Still, why didn't you tell me back then? You never mentioned her, not even at the Prometheus…"
"And risk you? And risk her? I knew my chances, Jack. I would never put more pain on your shoulders if I could avoid it. I knew that if you knew about her, you would drive yourself even crazier while trying to come up with a way to get me back. Knowing what I did at that time, I knew you didn't have one chance. I knew that telling you about her would only create more pain for you. That wouldn't help at all. Why didn't you ask before?" She asked then. Being more than willing to take the blame for not telling him. To have Jack thinking, Parker belonged to someone else.
"I thought… I couldn't deal with her not being mine. I thought you would've told me if you had gotten… If we had a child on the way. That you would've said so when we met, but you didn't. You never mentioned her at all."
"God, what a couple of fools can we be." She shook her head. He raised his hand to his neck and pulled out his dog tags. She saw it, but she couldn't believe her eyes as they caught the shimmering blue rock that hung from his. He let go, only to kneel in front of her.
"Will you commit to spending the rest of your life with this fool?" He asked. Untangling her ring from his dog tags and freeing his own that laid beside it. She dropped herself to the ground, fishing for her own chain. Unlocking the ring that she had a hold on to for dear life.
"Will you commit to spending the rest of your life with this stupid, stupid woman? Even when she has a lot of issues in her head that need to be dealt with?" She asked back.
"Only if you help me deal with mine. Sam, I'm not any better than you at dealing with stuff. I'm as much of a screw-up as you think you are."
"It won't be an easy path, Jack. We will need to be open and honest… I'm not sure I can be those things all the time."
"Me neither, but I'm willing to try." She smiled then, a bright smile that finally reached her eyes.
"Always?" She asked. As she grabbed his ring from his hand and slid it on his finger.
"Always." He agreed. Sliding her rings onto hers.
Feeling observed, they both looked up. Only to find one Parker Carter staring at them from the window. Sam blushed and waved for Parker to join them before she stood up and helped Jack stand.
"I'm sorry, mommy. I was just curious because you were taking so long," Parker said, excusing her actions. Not quite raising her eyes to meet her mom's.
"P… I need you to meet someone." Sam said, raising P's face enough to read her eyes. Parker sighed.
"Okay…" The girl let out and looked around. Confused when she saw no one else. "Where…?" Sam nodded towards Jack. "But I already know Sir General Jack."
"Yes, but do you know your father?" Sam asked. Parker's eyes widened comically. Utterly taken aback by the confession. It was said in such a steady and loving way that P knew it was the truth.
"You're…" She asked. Looking from her mom to… to her dad… before she jumped to embrace him. "No wonder you felt like a haven." She mumbled when Jack lowered himself on the ground to be at the right height.
"No wonder you felt like home." He answered back.
"So, what happens now?" Parker asked, not letting go of Jack's embrace but raising her eyes to her mom.
"Now, we start living, P. Now we start living."
Monday, December 31, 2012
Jack parked his truck in front of his parent's house and turned around to watch his ladies. He smiled. Both of them were covered with thick parkas to keep themselves warm in the unforgiving weather of his little town.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked Sam. "You know how loud this will be." She smiled, blinding him with her happiness.
"I wouldn't have them any other way." She said. "P?"
"I can't wait!" The girl shouted. She was eager to meet the rest of her family. She was nervous and yet, she was so excited that it would not be just her and her mom against the world anymore. That even if there were some bad guys still running around. She had also a dad that could come protect her if the need was raised.
They walked down. The house was already loud and vibrating with the joy of the holiday. Sam searched his hand, feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all, but braving it, nonetheless. She was done hiding. She was done fighting with her head.
Both of them had agreed to start seeing McKenzie, both individually and together. They understood there was no other way, but to deal with the mess of the years away. If they wanted to be properly happy, they needed to put the work in. If they wanted to put the past to rest, they needed help.
The door opened. A shouted "Oh, my god!" Followed, and then a pull. They didn't even know what the heck was going on as they were pushed inside.
"They're here!" Harper shouted. Parker looked terrified, but her dad's reassuring squeeze told her everything would be all right.
"Guys! Guys!" Jack shouted, managing to get all of their attention. "This is Parker. Parker…" he said, kneeling to her side. "Those are your grandpa and grandma, and your aunties…" he continued as he introduced her to his large family.
It was surprising, really. How silent the room was as they watched Jack introduce each of them to his girl. The one that thanks to Shannon they all know were an O'Neill. The one they all knew Jack had dreaded. It wasn't until her eyes fell on Connor that Parker relaxed.
"It would seem as if you never saw an O'Neill kid before…" Connor said.
With his words, the world became loud again. And as Parker was moved along the groups and hugged tightly. Soon feeling quite at home with them.
Jack had found a place to sit. His hand found Sam's as he pulled her to sit on his lap.
The world was far from perfect, but it was theirs… Everything that would come afterward, they could tackle…
Together.
Always.
THE END. (of Chapter 86- AU ;) )
A/N: If a happy ending is what drove you here… Then thank you for joining me on this journey. If the angst is to be too much to bear… I would recommend you stop right here. It can only get worse before it can get better… Now, if angst is your thing… Go on… But please, stop telling me it's too angsty, or too long (I'm perfectly aware of both)… I'm only holding the door opened, I'm not pushing you to read this through….
With that out of the way…
In an alternate reality, somewhere out there… That was exactly what happened. They figured out by embracing that the pieces can fall together, and things need only to be spoken. That wishes are granted and that if it's up to you… Well, the universe will respond kindly.
But truthfully, people who fight their own minds don't heal this easily. They don't heal alone, even if they try. They don't seek out help because they believe themselves to be past the point of getting out. They don't search for help because they're the ones usually holding everything together to keep others going.
Because they've always had to be the strong one.
Sam and Jack were always the strong ones… And they knew there was a deep unspoken truth about people like themselves….
The strong ones break harder…
And in this Sam and Jack reality, life did have a knack to find new ways to test them. To break them… Until there was nothing else left but to cry out for help… Which believe it or not... It is the lowest step in the downfall of the strongest ones among us.
Resilience… You'll see…. It's not something you're born with, but something that's forged into you. With each excruciating test that lifes throws at you. Being resilient, like Sam and Jack are….
Being resilient hurts.
