Word Count: 2,691
Warnings/Spoilers: There is reference to a minor anxiety attack.


It was a slow day at the 118, a week after Eddie had officially returned, and Buck was restless. It was rare they had quiet shifts and he'd already asked Bobby, twice, if they'd somehow been pulled from commission without being told.

"Just enjoy it," Eddie insisted, fingers twisting into the hair at the base of Buck's neck while they lazed on the couch and watched some awful daytime soap play quietly on the television.

"I can't," he said, his hands unsettled in his lap while he tried to play a game on his phone or look at Twitter, or occasionally glanced at the television, or sought out Bobby or Hen or Chim to check again that everything was normal. He couldn't explain the discomfort he felt and the only thing from stopping him climbing the walls was Eddie's gentle hand moving against his skin.

"Okay, c'mere," Eddie murmured, shifting until Buck was repositioned more in his lap and it was…how they might sit together on the couch at home but definitely wasn't something Buck envisaged occurring at work. Eddie's arms were firm around him, a hand pressing against his chest. "Where's all this anxiety coming from, Ev?"

He shook his head, his shuddery heartbeat making full inhales and exhales of oxygen harder than it had to or should be. "I don't know," he whispered, tilting into Eddie's chest and fixing his eyes on the television. "I don't know."

"Breathe with me?" Eddie suggested, the hand rubbing at Buck's sternum. "Just focus on matching your breathing, okay?"

He was doing slightly better when the alarms finally went off but he still felt jittery as he descended the stairs towards the truck.

"You okay?" Hen said, her hand touching his shoulder as he struggled to pull his coat on fluidly.

"Yeah, I… Yeah…"

It didn't sound convincing, and her face clearly conveyed she was unconvinced, but he hopped into the cab of the truck anyway and settled himself opposite Eddie so their knees could brush on the way to the call. Even though Hen was clearly eyeing him, and even though Chim occasionally muttered something about being jealous that he couldn't work with Maddie, Eddie reached for Buck's hand and held it as the truck pulled out of the station.

"We're not the first crew to get called to this site," Bobby explained as they bounced along the road, the din of the blaring sirens loud in Buck's ears even through the headset. "Multiple victims after a landslide took out a function room in the Hills."

Buck fixed Eddie with a look, like he'd had some sort of spidey-sense that told him this had been why he'd felt so anxious all shift.

"What are our assignments, Cap?" The truck turned to the left as Chim glanced to Bobby in the passenger seat.

Bobby audibly hesitated over the crackle of the headset and Buck glanced over his shoulder at the Captain, who met his eyes and looked almost as lost as Buck felt. "I- Eddie and Buck, I know you're my best rappelers for cliff rescues after that earthquake but-"

"We can do it," Eddie said, squeezing Buck's hand perhaps in some sort of futile attempt to instil all the confidence in his blood that he certainly wasn't feeling. "We'll be careful, Cap. We know we shouldn't be paired up but we can do this."

"It goes against the waivers you signed and departmental policy."

"You really want to restrict one of us and send Chim or Hen in? That's more dangerous for them and us," Eddie pointed out and Bobby sighed, gaze shifting to Hen and then Chim.

"What do you two think?"

Buck couldn't remember a time Bobby had ever doubted himself this much and it unnerved him, made the anxiety beneath his skin flare again into something hot and acrid and desperately uncomfortable. Eddie's thumb rubbed against his hand, trying his best to keep it contained.

"They're our best climbers, Cap," Chim said and next to Eddie, Hen nodded in agreement.

"You need to be smart about this, and you need to be safe," Bobby said, fixing each of them with stern glares that had Buck nodding even as he held onto Eddie's hand a little tighter.

Bobby slipped into his more regular Captain mode after that, telling Buck and Eddie that they were needed with rescuing anyone who had fallen in the landslide while Hen and Chim would be redirected to helping the wounded and determining triage.

"Do we know how many people were at the function centre?" Hen said as Chim eased the truck around another corner that took them higher into the sprawling hills above the Los Angeles basin.

"It was packed for a wedding. Bride and groom are still missing," Bobby said grimly and Buck knew this call, this call, was why he'd felt so anxious all day. That feeling of foreboding, of trepidation, that something was going to go wrong… The quiet days always had something big happen.

A hush settled over the truck – or as much of a hush as could settle when the sirens were still wailing and Buck could hear the occasional crackle when the mics picked up someone's breathing. He glanced at Eddie, who was watching him closely, like he expected Buck to disintegrate at a moment's notice, but he could do landslides. He'd rather landslides up in the hills than a water rescue, any and every day of the week.

The truck slowed and Buck glanced around, noting other trucks lining one side of the narrow road to allow a stream of ambulances to depart with victims.

"Here goes nothing," he said, one final squeeze to Eddie's hand as they all climbed out of the truck and took in the scene.

They could hear the screams of desperation from people they couldn't see, and shouts of first responders delivering orders. When Buck looked around, he could see the stumps of timber rising from the ground by the side of the road. They were split and jagged, like a bolt of lightning had struck them and sent the rest of the function centre vanishing down the cliff. He assumed the foundation of the building had either given way or the posts had been woefully insufficient to hold the weight of the building.

"Buck, Eddie, gear up," Bobby said, drawing their attention from the carnage that surrounded them to point at the panel on the truck that held their rappelling gear. "Hen, Chim – staging area. Start with the yellow tent and find out where you're needed."

With a nod, the team scattered and Buck passed Eddie his gear before retrieving his own. They worked quickly but in relative silence, tying off straps in their harnesses as they moved towards the various anchor points that had already been embedded in the rock-face and determining who was lead on this part of the mission.

"Check me?" Eddie said, his hand touching Buck's elbow as Buck finished looping a knot through the carabiner at his waist. Buck's fingers slipped over Eddie's ropes and harness, checking for kinks, tugging at a few knots to make sure they held, twisting Eddie's carabiner tighter to make sure it wasn't going to unravel everything. It was something they'd done plenty of times before but it was different this time. Buck supposed it was because if he missed something vital in Eddie's gear, he'd never forgive himself.

"You're good," he said, letting Eddie do the reciprocal checks and wondering whether he'd ever really paid attention to Eddie's hands shifting over him the way that he was now.

"Let's go," Eddie said when he was satisfied, nudging Buck with his shoulder as they approached the Incident Commander with MOREAU stitched to his turnout.

"Buckley and Diaz from the 118. Where would you like us, Sir?" Eddie said, clipping his helmet to his head as they stood in front of Moreau

"We're still on rescue," Moreau said with a gesture towards the edge of the cliff, where plenty of ropes were already hanging and shifting as firefighters on the other end gathered victims beyond their sightline. "We're taking it in rotations. When someone comes up with a patient and disconnects from the anchor, then you go down. It ensures you have a break and stay with your partner. We trust your quick triage judgement to determine which tent they go to when you get back up." He pointed towards the different coloured stalls. Buck's eyes lingered on the black before returning to Moreau. "Then you wait for the next pair to ascend and start the process again."

Buck nodded and Moreau turned away to speak to a Battalion Chief, essentially dismissing them.

They moved to stand with other pairs of firefighters in harnesses.

"You new here?"

It was a voice he recognised and when he turned, he felt a flicker in his chest that made his hands clench when he saw Bosko's bright grin at Eddie as she gathered him into a hug.

"Just arrived," Eddie confirmed, returning the hug with a pat to her shoulder before pulling away.

Bosko waved at him. Buck just clenched his jaw. She didn't seem perturbed by his reaction, instead shifting her attention back to Eddie.

"It's madness down there," she said, waving at the cliff and then towards the tents. "Lots of cuts and scrapes but plenty of broken bones that need splinting. Most of the walls were glass so when the place gave way, the guests got showered in it as they rolled down the hill." Bosko shook her head, clapping Eddie on the shoulder. "Anyway, how you been, Diaz? I haven't seen you for a while."

"Uh-" Eddie's eyes slid to Buck, who was determinedly focused on the rope lines and when he could join in on a rescue . "Yeah, I- I've been out for a few months."

Buck almost snorted, unsure if Eddie had intended his words to hold a double meaning or not.

"Nothing like getting right back into it then, huh?" Bosko said, completely unfazed by Eddie's clear distance in his words. "Just another regular day at the office!"

Buck decided not to ask if she was commenting on his time as an office paper-pusher within the LAFD. He wasn't sure he wanted to wear Athena's cuffs if she just so happened to get shoved off the edge of a cliff after making some asinine comment about the lawsuit in his vicinity.


If nothing else, the cliff rescue missions proved a valuable distraction from Bosko's general presence because Buck lost track of her after the second time he descended the cliff with Eddie to retrieve a victim. The anxiety Buck had felt all day faded into background noise when all he had to focus on was the hill beneath him: checking for loose patches of ground that might give way and threaten the rescuers below, assessing if the hill showed any further signs of weakness, carefully clearing glass as he approached someone else with Eddie right behind him.

Begrudgingly, he could at least admit Bosko had been right: it was madness. He stopped counting how many times he went over the edge of the cliff with Eddie and he tried not to focus on who he was helping too much, just on what they needed and how to get them out. There were limbs tangled in concrete and glass and rebar, people who had almost certainly been enjoying themselves one moment and whose lives were ended the next. He left those for retrieval or recovery missions later given the current focus now was on rescue, but it was hard. He could tell there would be a lot of casualties and it made his stomach churn.

The sky was starting to dim when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he stopped adjusting the rope at his waist to look up.

"You're done for the day," Bobby said, his other hand clasping at Eddie's arm. "You both are."

"But Cap, there are still-"

"I know." Bobby nodded towards a fresh crew walking up the hill carrying giant floodlights. "Moreau reckons you've hauled up at least twenty people between you. Time to let fresh bodies do some work before you crumple on us."

And now that Bobby mentioned it, now that the Zen zone that Buck had been in for hours was starting to fade, he could feel plenty of aches in his muscles and a burn in his hands through his gloves. He swayed a little on the spot and Bobby's arm was there at his back, holding him upright as he started to sag.

"Speaking of crumpling," he mumbled and Bobby managed a small chuckle, guiding him to the truck where Hen and Chimney were already waiting.

"I've got him," Chim said, grabbing at Buck and he had to be more exhausted than he thought when he didn't even protest being bundled into the truck. Eddie was sinking into the chair opposite Buck a moment later, tilting his head back with closed eyes as he exhaled.

"You two are wrecks," Hen muttered as she scooted in beside Eddie, who barely even glanced at her as she lifted his hand and started peeling the straps off his gloves to check for rope burn and blisters.

"I didn't notice until Bobby told me to stop," Buck said as he lifted his headset over his ears and strapped his belt over his chest. "Now I just want to sleep until next week."

Eddie managed a hum of agreement through heavily lidded eyes and Buck wondered if he should've paid more attention to himself, or to Eddie, or to their teamwork when they were evidently so exhausted. Perhaps it was lucky Bobby had pulled them out when he had. Continuing to conduct rescues in darkening conditions when they were this tired was dangerous for everyone involved.

The engine roared to life and he let his eyes lapse shut, visions of dirt and dust and mangled bodies making it impossible to completely fall asleep on the return to the 118.


"Remind me to get Abuela a present for taking Chris tonight," Eddie muttered as they stumbled through the house, propping each other up and grasping at the walls on the way to the bed. Buck would pretend to be dramatic and say he couldn't remember a time every muscle hurt this badly but he knew that was a lie. He'd ached during rehab once they tried to get his body moving properly. He'd burned all over for weeks after the tsunami. This was no different.

"She'll probably think it's because we had the house to ourselves and had sex," Buck pointed out and Eddie snorted, hand clenching against Buck's waist.

"That's not actually such a bad-"

"I want to sleep," Buck whined, probably the one and only time he'd ever turn down sex and Eddie laughed, peeling his shirt over his head and kicking off his socks as they entered the bedroom.

"I seem to remember there was an offer once about me just laying there," Eddie said in a tone that was so teasing, so tempting, Buck almost agreed. Almost.

"Sleep," he insisted, shucking enough of his clothes that he could crawl into the heaven that was a firm mattress and a soft pillow. He couldn't even be bothered dealing with the blankets. "How can you even think about sex when everything hurts this much?"

Eddie draped the blanket over him anyway and then climbed onto the bed behind Buck, looping an arm around his waist and pressing kisses to the back of his neck and shoulders. "Just because I can think about it doesn't mean I have to act on it."

Buck grunted, folding his fingers through the gaps in Eddie's and cuddling into the embrace of being little spoon. "Tease."

"I learned it from you." The tip of Eddie's nose nuzzled into the curve of Buck's shoulder and he released a heavy sigh. "But, I'll agree with you, sleep does sound pretty good right now."

Humming in acknowledgement, Buck didn't even fight how quickly sleep swallowed him whole.


~TBC~