Burning. That was the only word Ron could use to describe his anger as he scanned the courtyard, sitting under a secluded tree that mostly protected him and Edgecombe from the small bursts of cold wind. It was eating him alive, turning his insides into fine pudding as he seethed and tried to breathe through the smoke and fire burning in his lungs.
But how could he when he had discovered how his best friend had lied and kept him in the dark, that Ness had taken control of Voldemort's loyal snake and was using her to attack innocent people and that Marietta may be in a lot of trouble for her failing grades? From what she had told him, her parents were strict and expected a lot from her. After all, her family were esteemed members of society and her father worked for the Ministry as a Department of Unidentifiable Magical Objects and her mother was working in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. It was already a given that Marietta would follow in their footsteps.
"Ronnie?" he glanced up, the burning sensation fading a bit at Marietta's pale skin and her dim big brown eyes that were filled with worry, "You alright?"
Ron wanted to lie and focus on comforting her and her alone, but out of his mouth exploded, "Harry and Hermione are being gits!"
"Gits?" Mariette repeated her eyes widening as Ron nodded, the dam of self-control blown to pieces as he continued. "Yea! They knew that Earthbound had a dangerous snake for a pet! And they kept insisting that you got bitten because you broke into Gryffindor Tower for some absurd reasons! It's ridiculous!"
"Very ridiculous." Marietta agreed, sounding a little faint. "I guess this mean they won't help us?"
"No, they're on Earthbound's side. Think that your bad news for some dumb reason and that I'm being a terrible-,"
"Me, you've hurt me."
"Friend." Ron finished but he practically choked on the word as his mind betrayed him as well. Reminding him how Harry had been afraid of him and didn't want to risk their friendship. Harry, the Boy who Lived and helped defeat several evils before he had even turned 15, afraid of him.
"Ronnie?" Marietta prodded, the smell of paint and lavender pulling him back to reality as Marietta leaned on him, "Are you alright? Di…did you and Potter get into a fight?"
"Y…yea, but it wasn't completely about Earthbound." Ron admitted, the burning anger morphing into something much worse. Frozen fear and shame. Things Ron rarely tried to feel. "H…Harry said that I hurt him, that he was scared of me not being his friend so…he just let me do whatever to ensure that he didn't lose me."
"Why? I mean, you two are as thick as thieves!"
"I…" Ron desperately wanted to say that he didn't know. That he hadn't noticed the signs, that the dreadful moment with those two first years who had dubbed him the 'Bad Prefect' hadn't stung and left him reeling for the rest of the night, even more so when several of Marietta's admirers threatened to hex him to the Moon and back if he even dared thinking about taking his anger out on her.
"Is…is it wrong that I'm angry all the time?" Ron instead asked, shying away from the real question as Marietta frowned and then broke into a coughing fit, her hand flying to her bitten wrist as Ron smothered a yell of concern and pulled her into a hug. Leaning forward and rubbing small circles on her back as she shook and coughed herself hoarse before the coughing fit subsided.
"I-I'm fine." Marietta lied, her frail smile creating sharp knots in his stomach as he held his tongue. Wanting to point out that she was not fine.
"Maybe we should go to Madam Pomfrey," Ron suggested, "I can lie and say you were trying to show me a spell and it backfired into a snake attacking you."
He jumped from Marietta's sharp, "No!" but relaxed when she quickly tittered, "I don't want to get back to the castle—not yet anyway. I don't want to risk another attack."
"Knowing him he would attack in broad daylight." Ron grumbled but he dropped it and settled for resuming rubbing circles on her back. Relaxing when he felt her breathing evening out a bit.
"As for your um, anger issues. I guess it depends…why are you so angry all of the time?"
Ron froze the answer dancing on his tongue as he recalled his 6th birthday party. It hadn't been much, just a simple little affair of hand me down gifts and one super cool one from Charlie but of course Fred and George had to go off and rile up Percy which lead to a magical game of chase that ended with his only brand new gift getting destroyed.
The rest of the day had been chaotic with mum trying to maintain order, scold the twins and comfort a hysterical Ron who felt the grief morph into something hot, something energizing, something that provoked him to pull free from his mother's grasp and scream bloody murder at his new toy's killers.
The room deadly quiet when he finished with a sharp croak and resumed crying but that simple event had been empowering. It had taught him that if he wanted to get noticed or outshine his older brothers, all he had to do was get angry and use that anger to get loud. Even after it had been proven false and his anger got him more in trouble than the person who started it, it still left a positive message. Anger could be used for something other than getting loud, like defending friends or acting boldly even with the threat of danger overhead.
Even as he got older and was met with new challenges from home and Hogwarts, being angry and using that anger to shove away the more icky feelings that couldn't be repaired with a simple 'get over it mate' or even a dreaded 'sorry' worked a lot better than talking it out.
Until last year, where being angry just left him feeling lonely and wracked with guilt after he realized Harry had been telling the truth.
Until now where being angry revealed that he had been pushing his friend away again and was close to losing Hermione as well. But they just, didn't understand! Hermione and Harry were born in Muggle society! They didn't lead lives where the impossible was possible until their first year at Hogwarts!
And then Earthbound had done it, he had been the impossible that no one could figure out and seriously injured his dad. Being angry at Earthbound made it easier to ignore the sticky feeling of fear. Fear of ending up like his father if he pushed Earthbound to far, fear that his father would never get better.
"I…It worked. Being angry got me noticed, it…I could use anger to get something I wanted," Ron slowly explained, trying to pour the storm of emotions into words as they burned the back of his throat.
"I'm the second youngest in a huge family so getting overlooked because I was the quiet one or the most behaved one at the moment got tired fast…So, I got angry and learned that anger was better than actually talking through your problems. With anger, I could do something without being told no, I could risk something without worrying about the consequences with anger."
"Until now." Marietta guessed.
A lump formed in Ron's throat as he nodded, "Yea, until now. Now, all being angry does for me is just get me called names and pushed away by my friends."
"They aren't pushing you away," Marietta hurriedly argued, but even she doubted that as she glanced away and nibbled her lip.
"Your right," Ron agreed, the cold spreading throughout him until he felt lightheaded. "I'm pushing them away."
"But why? Because they can't understand my point of view or because…?" he trailed off, feeling sick at the idea of being wrong oh so very wrong.
If he was wrong to be angry then that meant he had hurt someone close to him, if he was wrong then that meant he almost attacked someone innocent and if he was wrong then that meant that Harry and Hermione were right, as per usual.
"Let's focus on studying." Marietta said, a weak smile on her face. "We only have a few months before the exams start, and I'm pretty sure you still have to finish your essay for Professor Spourt on giggly git berries."
Ron nodded, eager for the distraction as his numb fingers opened his herbology books. His body relaxing as Marietta's mumbling about worry warts and boomslang skin started, her cute way of studying helping chip away at the rough edges of boredom as Ron dutifully read the chapter on giggly git berries. Of course, just because he was distracted didn't remove the icy cold that was now solidified in his chest. It stayed there, eating away at him as he read.
His attention slipping as his mind looped back to his and Harry's argument. "She COULD have followed Harry and Ness after she left Gryffindor Tower…and she WAS asking if Neville still that habit of writing down the passwords for Gryffindor Tower had right after Umbridge returned."
No. Marietta wasn't the spy! She wasn't! And yet…his mouth seemed to believe otherwise as he found himself asking, "Marietta…Did…did you go to bed after you dropped me off at Gryffindor Tower?"
If he hadn't been thrown into a sickening sense of hyper-awareness thanks to that cold feeling, he might have missed Marietta's flinch before she looked up to give him a look of confusion.
"Is that REAL confusion or a mask?"
"W…well, not exactly." His confusion at her odd reaction gave way to sickening horror as Marietta fiddled with her quill, "I know you said Snape was giving Potter and Earthbound extra potion lessons, but it just seemed…off, and since Potter is almost always caught up in some dangerous event I thought I followed Earthbound when I spotted him climbing down the stairs."
She hurriedly added, "I didn't mean to overstay my eavesdropping attempt! But it was really…worrisome to hear what was going on."
"What happened."
"Well, I overheard that Potter and Earthbound were learning how to close their minds to protect themselves from the Dark Lord but I think Earthbound already knew how since Professor Snape kept practicing with Potter."
"Yea, because he hates Harry's guts." Ron snarked, wondering why Harry hadn't told him this before realizing that he probably didn't want to push Ron's buttons and create another scene.
Marietta shook her head, "No…I don't think that was it, since Professor Snape was really angry at Harry for going against what he was supposed to learn. He…he had some dream where he saw a man kneeling in the dark and Earthbound standing behind some sort of door."
"A…door?" Ron repeated wondering if the door Harry had meant with connected to the Ministry. It probably was given how Ness had been on the other side of the door when his dad was attacked. But…did that mean there was another door? One he had either forgotten about or that Earthbound had omitted to them?
"He DID mention waking up in a doll's body…which meant that they were storing it somewhere…So I guess it means that Ness WAS in a different room before he found Harry and Dad."
"Yea, but they didn't elaborate. Professor Kale was there as well, acting as a mediator so I guess it's something serious. They kept practicing but suddenly Potter yells, "Protego" and Professor Kale and Earthbound start freaking out, Earthbound going so far to ask if he should um, flash them before they snapped out it."
"Flash them?" Ron frowned wondering what Earthbound really meant as Marietta flushed a bright red and stammered out, "I-I don't know, maybe it's an American thing?"
"American—Oh! OH!" his face warmed up as he spluttered, "N-no! I think it's an American spell! You know, since Earthbound is absolute rubbish with magic he probably decided to go ahead and try one since Professor Kale can't perform any."
"I-I hope it was that." Marietta murmured before she continued. "Professor Snape seemed really shaken up about whatever Potter did with his shield spell, he broke something when he woke up so I left before Earthbound could leave the room,—he was going to go get a broom to clean it up since everything seemed so upset."
"But you didn't leave fast enough," Ron guessed, the words heavy and foul tasting as he spoke. "Since Earthbound spotted you and gave chase before you managed to disappear."
She nodded. Guilt written all over her face but a spark of curiosity in her eyes. Ron lightly tapped the cover of his herbology book, trying to weigh how much information to tell or withhold before he slowly asked the already answered question, "Do…do you want to know why Harry and Earthbound need Occlumency?"
"I-if isn't to much trouble." Marietta blurted out, leaning forward a bit and allowing her hair to cascade around her face.
"We don't really understand why, but Dumbledore's worried that Earthbound's um, PTSD and Harry's close encounter with Voldemort might have left a mental scar or some sort of curse on them." Ron slowly started, "Something that would give Voldemort a bird's eye view of the school without needing to send in another spy."
"He does seem quite fond of keeping surveillance on people…" Marietta softly agreed her tone shaky for some reason. Surely…surely it wasn't because she knew someone else keen for wanting to keep an eye on people.
"Yea, and Harry's been prone to weird dreams. It's weird. But I guess that also helped in Dumbledore's decision of making them take Occlumency."
"Weird dreams? Like, dreams that warn of danger?" Marietta asked her eyes widening as she no doubt remembered the story of how Harry woke up screaming and insisting that something had happened to his father.
"Maybe? Sometimes Harry keeps them to himself, so I don't know for sure." Ron lied, "But I think they only tell him of serious danger outside of Hogwarts."
"He might have a seer's gift." Marietta murmured her eyes glowing with excitement as Ron tried not to feel sick, "Maybe even a curse to catch snippets of the future thanks to his scar."
"Maybe." Ron weakly offered before he resumed studying, allowing Marietta to mumble and make plans of looking up how you would realize you were a seer as he wondered if he had said something he shouldn't have.
He had purposely tried to give a vague but solid answer but… "She followed Harry to Occlumency…But was it truly because she was curious?"
No, he couldn't be thinking that Marietta was the spy. She wasn't like that! She cared! She understood how it felt to have a family member maimed by PSI and possible to never wield magic again!
Well, almost since Ron had purposely left that part out, always feeling too sick to say it aloud whenever they spoke. He needed to focus on what to do next, on how to heal Marietta before the O. since there was no way she could pass any heavy magic based class in this condition.
Plus, what if it got worse? How bad would the snake's poison get before Marietta would be reduced to nothing more than a squib? Or worse, die? The very thought expanded the cold center in his chest, allowing it to run freely within his body as Ron tried to dissuade the thought.
No, Earthbound wouldn't let her die. He was many things, but he wasn't a murderer. He was probably just waiting for Marietta's condition to get visible serious before stepping in to help or for her to confess that she was the spy.
But…if Marietta was the spy then that meant that she was working for someone. Someone who was forcing her to act this way, someone like Umbridge.
He almost dropped his book in shock, the cold feeling dipping into dry ice cold that snatched away what little oxygen he had in his lungs. Marietta was always a little fidgety around him, but he had foolishly thought it was because of his anger and reputation at the time.
He'd barely noticed how she had greatly relaxed when Umbridge was removed from school her career seemingly ended and thrown in the garbage. But…then she resumed being nervous and fidgety when Umbridge came back, and she had gone eavesdropping the night before her return. Something Marietta could have done earlier in the year but didn't, hinting that there was some sort of pressure placed upon her to step up her game.
Well, up her game if she was the spy. Which she wasn't! She couldn't be! This was merely speculation since Harry and Hermione had addressed her as the main suspect.
Speculation that was slowly becoming a solid argument as to why Marietta was the spy.
Ron glanced at her, biting his lip as he noticed how shallow her breathing was as she murmured something from her book. Trying to memorize it but failing thanks to the poison.
"Marietta, are you sure you don't want Madam Pomfrey?" Ron tentatively asked keeping his hands to himself despite wanting to hold her hand.
"Ron," Marietta started sounding frustrated before she cut herself off and took a shaky deep breath. "I'll be fine, it's just like a virus."
He wanted to argue that poison was worse than a virus, a small ember of fire wanting to burn bright. But he didn't, he held his tongue despite wanting to desperately convince her to rest or go to bloody Madam Pomfrey.
Ron managed a weak, "If you say so," but quickly added, "But if you need anything Marietta, don't hesitate to ask. Alright?"
There was a long pause as Marietta took that in, her head slowly leaning forward and causing her hair to cascade in front of her face as she seemingly focused intently on her book.
"Marietta?"
"…Alibi."
"Alibi?" Why would she need an alibi? "Because she's the spy." The little voice whispered, but Ron ignored it nodded, "Yea, I can be your alibi Marietta. Just tell me ahead of time, alright? And I'll help."
There was a soft murmur that he could barely make out—something about him being kind? Too kind?—before Marietta spoke up, "Thanks, Ronnie."
Ron nodded and turned back to his book, hating the cold and facing the dreaded reality that anger wasn't going to solve anything. Some days, it was just going to make the problem worse.
4 out of 12!
Oddly enough, it wasn't to hard to write Ron sounding and acting vulnerable and realizing his mistakes despite building him up as a raging lunatic. I suppose that's one of the perks of not really caring about a lot of the characters in Harry Potter.
