Harry rolled his shoulder carefully, feeling something pop just enough to be uncomfortable but not actually painful. Practice was still going poorly for everyone involved. Kakshi-sensei had them alternating days. Half the time Harry would spend all evening casting spell after spell at the nin, wincing every time they couldn't manage to dodge one fast enough. They insisted that it wasn't that bad, but Harry had been on the receiving end of that kind of training before. It always hurt. But Kakshi-sensei insisted this was the best way to learn anything. That the only way they were going to figure out how to actually manipulate magic was if they were forced into it. Harry wasn't so sure about that, but he didn't have any other good ideas.

Learning chakra wasn't going much better. Harry had been knocked down more times than he could remember. He would have had bruises on top of bruises if Sakura hadn't been patching him up as best she could. But he was getting better at being able to feel what kind of elements went into a jutsu. He couldn't make his own yet. Every time he tried it was just a burst of energy and nothing more. But he was getting better at pulling apart anything sent his way. Kakashi-sensei insisted that was progress and even Sasuke looked pleased.

But man was it tiring.

"Alright there, Harry?" Seamus asked over that morning's eggs and toast. He was shoveling in food in as he stared at Harry.

Harry yawned. "Fine. Why wouldn't it be?"

Seamus kept staring at him. "Haven't seen you around much and you look like shit."

"Gee, thanks," Harry grumbled back. He tried not to take it personally. He did kind of feel like shit, so it was probably an accurate assessment.

"You'd tell us if anything was going on, though, won't you Harry?" Seamus continued.

"I guess?" Harry answered. He wasn't in the habit of confiding closely with Seamus but they were yearmates and he was an active part of the DA club. Harry wouldn't not tell him something any more than he wouldn't not tell anyone else, he supposed.

"Right," Seamus agreed, and Harry was starting to feel like they were having two different conversations. "Just give a heads up if you can, if it's all about to go sideways on us. And maybe take a nap or something. Just looking at you is making me need one."

Harry nodded, because he wasn't sure what else he could do. He then turned to Ron on his other side and gave him a look that he hoped clearly communicated the absolute bizarreness of that conversation. Instead of looking just as perplexed as Harry was, Ron was scowling down at his rashers as if they had personally offended him.

"What?" Harry asked. Because clearly he was missing something around here and Ron could usually be counted on to tell him exactly what. Or at least commiserate with him on being out of their depth.

"It's nothing," Ron muttered. "At least, I hope it is?" He looked up and stared at Harry intently. "I mean, you would tell us if something was going on, wouldn't you?" he asked.

And Harry' stomach sank. They'd been back in school for a couple of months now, and for the most part Harry thought he had been doing a very good job of balancing everything. The nin hadn't questioned his whereabouts at all and he hadn't even had to lie to Sasuke once yet. They simply assumed he was safely tucked away in the Gryffindor tower with his classmates. While Ron and Hermione generously assumed he was with Team 7 and didn't pester him about wanting to spend more time with his cousin. In fact, no one had noticed that Harry was sneaking off once a week to hunt down Tom Riddle's secrets and try to understand what dark magic he must have used.

Up until now, at least. Ron was watching him closely, like he expected some sort of clue to appear on Harry's face. Getting stared at like that made Harry's skin burn with shame and worry that there was something clearly written across his face that he was a liar and a sneak. But this was Order business. Surely Ron and Hermione would understand! Wouldn't they?

"It's nothing," Harry reassured him. "Just a bit tired, you know. Sasuke and the others are a lot to keep up with."

Ron frowned like that was exactly the response he had not wanted to hear. "You aren't letting them push you too hard, are you? I know you're really invested in this, but there's limits, you know? Maybe you should take a night off or something."

Except there wasn't enough nights as it was to fit everything in. "It's fine," Harry insisted. We're really getting somewhere, I think. I just have to try a little harder."

Ron snorted. "You try much harder and you're gonna hurt yourself."

Which was ridiculous. This was important. So what if he was a little tired and banged up? Harry had dealt with worse and probably would again. At least this was for something important.