Always Remember

"Montgomery!" Ben Warren said rushing toward the scene. Travis Montgomery, one of his closest friends, ran over to him. "Where's Vic?"

"What's wrong?" Travis asked.

Andy Herrera chimed in: "There's something we have to tell her—face-to-face."

"She's… a little busy right now," Travis responded looking upward. Everyone followed his gaze and saw Vic Hughes two hundred feet in the air at the top of a cell tower.

"What a hell of a call to interrupt," Ben said.

It took a while, but once Vic got down, they broke the news to her. Her boyfriend and their fire chief, Lucas Ripley, was at Seattle Presbyterian having been exposed to hydrofluoric acid. Four of them jumped into the aid car and took off for the hospital, speeding through the streets. Ben sat in the back with Vic watching her go through motions that he'd experienced a year ago. He looked at her and gave a smile that he hoped was at least comforting. "My last words to him were 'okie dokie'. 'Okie dokie' can't be the last words I ever say to him," she said out loud, not talking to anyone in particular, chuckling nervously and scrunching up her forehead.

"Would you love me if I changed careers?" Miranda asked him as they lay in bed two years ago. Somehow, she'd convinced him to paint her toenails. That wasn't a surprise. The woman could get him to do anything. At least Ben had gotten to choose the color. He'd gone with an electric blue that she never wore. It looked so good on her.

Ben looked up at her. "Of course."

"You're sure?" She said putting her finished foot on his shoulder, pressing her toes into his flesh. He nodded and kissed her ankle making her inhale. "You'd better."

He waved a hand over her foot, only half satisfied with the job he'd done. "Now what about me?"

"What about you?"

Ben sighed. "If I changed careers—"

"Again."

"Right. Again." He laughed loudly, moving between her legs, kissing her skin. "Would you still love me?"

Miranda looked down at him, grinning. "Yes."

"Really?" That answer had shocked the hell out of him. "Are you saying that because I'm about to…" She sat up quickly and put a hand over his mouth. "Don't you even finish that damn statement." He chuckled and grabbed her hips pulling his wife on top of him. "But I'm serious. I would support you…" She bobbed her head from side to side as he moved down, putting his head between Miranda's thighs. "Eventually. I always come around eventually," she said softly.

Ben bit her skin gently, taking a deep breath. "Noted."

Ben had been in the same scenario a year ago when his wife, Miranda Bailey, had suffered a heart attack. His entire world had been rocked when he'd gotten a call from their friend, Richard Webber, saying that the love of his life was in the hospital after having a heart attack. Their argument earlier in the day had played in his head a hundred times and while he knew there wasn't anything that he could do to change what had happened, it didn't stop his brain from formulating different outcomes. Ben touched Vic's knee. "There will be more words, alright?" He told her, praying that he wasn't giving her false hope. "We're almost there."

The four of them zipped through the hospital. Ben's heart was racing. These were the same halls that Ben had run through trying to get to his wife, trying to see her. The same lobby where he'd been denied access to Miranda because she was already in surgery. "She said it was indigestion!" He remembered yelling. That's what she'd said to him just hours earlier. And had blamed the destruction of her stomach lining on him and his new career. He had decided to become a firefighter after years of being a surgeon and it had crushed her. And that had crushed him. Ben wanted Miranda to be happy that he was following his heart, instead, they'd fought.

"I don't understand why you need to up and find yet another job."

"A career. Not a job, baby. A career." She'd rolled her eyes and he'd rolled his to the ceiling. "The rush I felt running into the hospital trying to find Stephanie… I'd never had that. Not as a surgeon and damn sure not as an anesthesiologist."

Miranda looked at him and put her hands on her hips. He knew what was coming. A lecture. "Can't it be enough for you to be boring and safe? For me? For Tuck?" Ben swallowed. "Why can't that be enough?"

"You and Tuck…," he started walking toward her and putting his hands on her waist, "you two are everything to me. More than enough. But if I don't do this, I'll always wonder." She didn't respond and he kissed her cheek.

She shook her head. "I still need time to process this." This wasn't the first argument they had about it and each time she said that she needed more time. It was a circle game. Miranda moved away and he just watched as she walked up the stairs. When he heard her in their room, he gave her a few minutes before going up after her. "Yes?" She asked staring at him while she lay in bed. Ben raised an eyebrow. Biting his bottom lip, he took a step into the room and she tried stopping a grin but had failed miserably. "Benjamin. I'm not done processing."

"I just wanted to help you," he said sitting on the edge of the bed. Miranda gave him a face that was full of worry. "I promise to be safe."

She put her hands on his cheeks. "I love you so much."

"I know."

"No, I need you alive."

"I know."

Ben kissed the palms of her hands. He tossed her tablet aside and climbed on top of her, reaching for the bottom of her shirt. "Ben," she whispered.

"Yes?" He asked, crashing his lips into hers, wanting to kiss her until she could forgive him for making this decision without her; until they could get past this. Unhooking her bra, he watched her face contort as he attacked her nipples, circling them.

Miranda grabbed her head. "The door is open."

"I know."

"Close it," she demanded.

He shook his head going to the other breast. "No."

Relieving themselves of their pants, he held onto her curvaceous body, pushing himself into her and she drilled her nails into his back. "Ben!" He didn't answer and pulled back before going deeper. "Ben!" Miranda put her lips on his neck and he groaned. The only woman who had ever shaken him. The only one who could ever make his body cave. Ben flipped them over and she lifted her body, putting her hands on his chest. "Yes, baby!" Hating that their lips weren't together, he sat up pushing them together, kissing her deeply, suppressing their moans.

"Shit," he whispered in her mouth. "You feel so good."

"Yes!"

"Do the thing," he said and she smiled at him, digging her hips into his. She inhaled him with her body and he cursed again. "Incredible."

"Fucking amazing," Miranda cried out. Hearing that, he couldn't hold in his orgasm any longer. He came holding her tightly. His heart stampeding in his chest. God, he loved this woman. God, he needed her. Ben kissed her as she released, too, her body shuddering, a few tears streaking down her face.

"I…"

Miranda lay on his chest while he was still inside of her. "Yes, baby."

"I need you to be on board with this." He placed kisses on her chest and on her neck. "I need us to be okay." Instead of answering, she kissed him, his toes curling and his stomach knotting itself. "Still need more time?" Miranda nodded and kissed him again.

The four of them landed their eyes on Ripley's sister, Jennifer. Vic hugged her and the rest of them hung back as they talked. When Maggie Pierce, his friend and cardiothoracic surgeon, came out to talk to the family, Jennifer was the only one who able to follow her, leaving Vic alone. Andy moved next to her, hugging her. Ben took a deep breath. There was a voice he wanted to hear, his wife's. He wanted desperately to talk to her. Slipping out of sight, he went through the first door he came upon, calling Miranda. When she didn't answer, he checked his watch. She was probably in surgery. But he decided to leave a message. "Hi, you've reached Dr. Miranda Bailey. I'm unable to take your call, please leave a message. Thank you. Hit the thing, Tuck!" He smiled, his heart fluttering at her voice. One of his favorite sounds in the whole world.

"Miranda." Ben had meandered through the strangely familiar hospital. These were the same halls he'd gotten to know well as his wife recovered. Day in and out, he was there, moving around the building. He'd gotten to know the nurses and the techs, the janitors, anybody who could possibly come into contact with his wife. Something in him felt relief that he didn't have to go through what Vic was about to go through. Miranda's health setback had seriously scared him and he'd wanted to quit being a first responder, but she wouldn't let him. She only wanted one thing and he promised to give it to her.

During one of her physical therapy sessions, he sat on a medicine ball, watching and encouraging her. "You're sure you want a treehouse, babe?"

She groaned. "Yes. I said what I said." Ben laughed. "I want a place where I can go and it can just be me."

"Away from your husband and son?'

"Yes," Miranda responded. Her therapist smiled and gave her a gentle high five. "I still love you two though."

"We love you, too."

Her hand went to her chest and he panicked a little. His face must have shown his complete fear. "Relax, my love," she told him with a wink.

Ben gritted his teeth. "Uh, does this tree house have a deadline?"

Miranda had cut her eyes at him. "It shouldn't take you that long. Get one of those ladders and some of your friends and do this one thing for your wife who just had a heart attack."

He feigned rolling his eyes. "Not this heart attack talk again." They laughed together. "I will build you the treehouse." Getting closer, he put his lips on her chin.

"You're distracting me, Ben Warren," Miranda said with a smile in her voice.

"You should be used to it by now."

Someone walked in front of him and brought him back to reality. "Hey, um, look, I… I know you're in surgery and alive and well and saving lives, just like you should be. But, uh… I am at Seattle Pres right now, actually," he said laughing a little, "you know, where you were when you… you know, when you had your heart attack." He leaned against a shelf, casually. Even a year later, the pain was still fresh, running the twelve blocks easily, partly because of his new training and partly because his wife, his best friend, was in danger.

He dropped his hotdogs and took off. It was the fastest he'd move in a long time. "Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay." Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay.

"Um… I'm walking these halls and remembering that day, and I…" Ben paused, feeling his voice about to crack. He could feel his eyes beginning to water a little. He'd thought he was past this. Miranda was completely fine now. Back to living her life, back to sharing their life. But that was the most scared he'd ever been and he didn't know if he would ever look back at the piece of their life together and not have his heart drop into his stomach. "Look, anyway, um, I guess I just really wanted to tell you how happy I am that you're alive." Ben smiled. Miranda had overcome something that a lot of people didn't. She had left the hospital better than she'd arrived. And, God, he was so proud of her and relieved. If he was being honest, Vic wouldn't experience that. She would get her last words with Ripley, but they would definitely be the last ones.

He took easy breaths. "I'll… I'll see you at home." A piece of him felt bad for feeling so good that he would be able to talk to his wife later and tomorrow and the days and months and years after. He also knew stories don't always end up the way his and Miranda did, happily and renewed. Vic and Ripley's story wouldn't. The two of them wouldn't be able to step outside of the tragedy to the other side. His friends just had to take advantage of the moments that they had left. The way Ben would everyday that he got to be with Miranda. "Love you." He ended the call and exhaled deeply.