Faith swept her gaze over the sea of faces in front of her for the tenth time and knew that this was not their test, but hers. She clenched her fists even as her stomach turned, imagining the things she'd have to do to make it out of this in one piece. None of the people in front of her meant as much as the one by her side but all the same these were someone's brother, sister, daughter or son. Maybe someone's mother or father, aunt or uncle. Someone's grandchild. After searching so long and hard for her redemption this was a personal hell come to life: hurting the innocent. He gave her a smile and nodded his encouragement, gesturing her toward the open floor.
"Don't do this." She begged quietly, shame completely gone. "Please don't make me do this."
"Don't worry, pet. I'll play fair, no more than five at a time. That's about right, wouldn't you agree?"
"You don't understand…"
She looked up and saw a distinct lack of pity in his eyes. Her words were wasted entirely on his stone heart. She fell silent and watched as the first round of combatants stepped forward. Her heart twisted, sickened, but she forced herself to draw in a deep breath. She held it until her lungs burned before letting it out in an equally slow measure. She couldn't let herself think about this, not if she wanted to survive. They were not names, not faces, not human. They wouldn't give her the courtesy of thinking of her as anything more than a means to an end. She didn't know what to expect but the push of a sword into her hand had her eyes widening in alarm as she looked down at the massive blade and back up at the people in front of her.
"What the actual fuck?"
"You wanted to be defenseless?"
His mild tone belied the change in his appearance and behavior. They might have been discussing what tea to have with breakfast instead of debating what was appropriate defense for a Slayer against street thugs and hedge magic users.
"You expect me to kill all of these people?"
His laughter rang out unexpected, causing the typically collected slayer to flinch. Oblivious, he slid a hand down her arm, caressing her skin and drawing out the touch purposefully.
"Heavens no, pet. Leave some of them hale enough to be useful. But I don't expect you to make it easy for them, either."
"Do they know they're just cannon fodder to you?" She shrugged out of his touch at last, collecting her bitterness as fuel. "Do they know you're just using them to test me?"
"They don't need to know." He responded evenly. "They are simply expected to obey."
He raised his hand, turning and walking away from her without any more words. When his hand fell she was charged. Time fell away as she fought through wave after wave of faceless minions. She lost track of her wounds, forcing down the pain until it was a distant roar in the background of her mind. Her sword was slick with blood and she had to work not to slip on the puddles of it pooling on the concrete floor. Her hair was matted with blood or sweat, maybe both, and she tried not to pay attention to the copper smell lingering in the air. The tiny voice inside was sobbing, railing against the things she had to do for the sake of the man she loved.
He eventually waved a hand and they stopped coming, those that could still move comfortably shifted back to the walls of the warehouse. She sank to a knee and sagged against the sword she held, unable to keep her balance without it. She didn't resist when she felt arms at her shoulders, lifting her up.
"Take her to the room and have her clean up."
Magic tinged the air with bright blue color but she couldn't open her eyes to see just what it was doing. She was escorted to another room off the one with the cage, a bathroom that looked like it hadn't been cleaned in years. She was shoved inside. A blond, muscular young man pointed to a bucket next to the sink and said nothing as he closed the door. Faith debated escape as she turned on the water and let it run to scalding as she watched. There was a cloth draped over the bucket but she ignored it, holding her hand under the water instead.
The pain immediately exploded through her body, bringing to light all of the injuries she'd ignored in the heat of battle. She didn't move to address any of them, letting the hot water course over her bare hand. The pain fanned into full flame and soon her skin was bright red, burning as she watched. No matter how it hurt she couldn't draw her hand back. A hand wrapped around her wrist and jerked back and she turned around to face a furious looking Ripper. He glowered, eyes glazed in red again and she felt more than saw something beneath his skin trying to claw its way out.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Why do you care?" She snatched her hand back leveraging her strength against him. He stumbled a few steps. "You got what you wanted."
"I like my toys in good condition."
"Fuck you," she spat back. The words were venom on her tongue. "I'm not your toy."
"I beg to differ." He was unable to hide the amusement in his tone. "But I can certainly do that, fuck you, if you insist."
Remembering the way he'd violated her earlier and the near destruction of any semblance of the peace she'd worked hard to attain had her stomach churning. She backed away, turning just in time to vomit into a toilet that did not help calm her rolling stomach by appearance or smell. She heaved until she felt weak, clutching the stall to keep herself upright. Tired eyes found their way back to him standing there implacable as he watched her torment. He nodded to soldiers that didn't hesitate to grab her and haul her, weak and shaken, into the small room with the cage.
"Leave us."
They dropped her in the middle of the room and she fell to her knees before they headed to the door out. Faith's head tilted forward, spilling her hair around her face to block it from view. Large, angry, heartsick tears rushed down her cheeks. Left alone with her captor, she kept her distance.
"You bastard! Some of those people are going to die. You let me kill them. You wanted me to kill them!"
"Don't take it so hard, pet. Some people are meant to die and others to live. That's the way of it."
"No! You enjoyed it. You wanted to hurt me. You enjoyed hurting me. I'll never…"
There were too many ways to complete that sentence but she let it falter, floating on the air across the room to settle in his ear. She closed her eyes and lost herself in deep, racking sobs. Her arms crossed about her stomach and held her together when she felt like melting to the floor to welcome the darkness she saw whenever she closed her eyes. For as long as she lived she was certain that she would never get the sight of what she'd done out of her head. It had taken so long to distance herself from her past, to find her way to being something other than Faith the lost. Faith the Evil. Faith the killer. Now he had forced her to be just that for his own amusement.
"No."
She picked her head up and leveled her gaze at her captor. She was not weak. This is not who she was.
"I played your fucking game. You owe me answers. Now. If you want me to keep playing you had better tell me who you are and what you want."
He considered her, noting the way her hands moved from hugging her body to down by her sides. He saw the fists they were balled into, bone white. He saw steel in her brown eyes. He saw the hard way her jaw was set and the rigidity of her body, held perfectly upright.
"Very well." He nodded and snapped his fingers, the door opening behind him. "Perhaps somewhere more fitting?"
"This place suits you. It's a filthy pit. You deserve nothing better."
The petty dig was foolish and she paid for it with a backhand across her cheek. She toppled to the floor, weak after her fighting. She tasted blood on her cheek, this time recognizing it as her own. Forcing herself up, she let her head drop in obedience. She was not fit enough to make a stand.
"Where did you have in mind?"
"I have a perfect idea. Perhaps once you've gotten cleaned up and had your rest you'll be ready to be a good girl and get your answers."
He came close again and she flinched, but this time he brushed his fingertips down her cheek.
"I could be so kind if you'll behave. Do as I ask, obey and adore me, and I could give you everything you ever wanted."
For that she had no answer, only sagged as they were escorted from the back rooms. She had not gotten clean, she noticed, but neither had he forced anything more unthinkable on her. The main room of the warehouse still smelled of blood and there were people inside, but the crowd had thinned. The sword was left where it had been discarded in the largest crimson puddle. She could not meet anyone's eye as they passed. Two guards walked in front of them, and two behind, but no one dared take one step out of place.
"Clean this place up, entirely. Make it presentable for my return. I will not live in filth here, not anymore."
Anymore? That caught her attention and she puzzled over it as they were led outside. Faith would have given anything to speak to Willow, to have Buffy by her side. To see Xander smile and reassure. She was tucked into a car, she had no idea whose, and he joined her in the backseat. Two of the guards joined them in the front seat. She hadn't had to fight them and could only assume what they'd done to earn their leader's confidence.
"Where are we going?"
"Never you mind, pet. Never you mind."
Against every screaming sense in her body, she dozed beside him as they began to drive.
