Chapter Thirty Five: Revelation
I take a few deep breaths, trying to steel myself for whatever happens now. I am not afraid to die. I never was. I'm not afraid for my life to end, but I don't want it to. When I left home, I knew there was a good chance I would never return. I knew I would most likely die. Despite this, I guess there has always been a small part of me that has hoped I would return. Hoped that I would survive. Slowly, I feel reality sink in. I will never be able to resolve things with Father. I will never again laugh with Grandma or roll my eyes at Mama. These thoughts make me sick as if someone has repeatedly punched me in the gut. I only turned eighteen a few weeks ago. Am I really meant to leave this world now?
I hear footsteps heading in the direction of the tent and straighten my back. The tent flap is lifted and in strides none other than Captain Li Shang. He seems angry and determined, yet stops dead in his tracks once he has caught sight of me. He stares at me for a moment, his mouth agape in shock. Too soon, however, the shock wears off, giving way to pure anger.
"Who are you?" he demands.
"My name is Fa Mulan, daughter of Fa Zhou," I state every word clearly, staring him straight in the eye. He will not intimidate me.
"Ping does not exist then?"
"No."
My response seems to infuriate him further, and he begins to pace the length of the tent. Abruptly, he turns to me.
"Why?"
The question catches me by surprise. Whenever I imagined being found out, I always thought I would be executed quickly, without questions. I never expected to be asked why I did it. I never thought it would matter to them. I stare at him, still refusing to break eye contact.
"My father was injured serving his country years ago, ending his career as a General. He is the only male in my family, however, and when the draft came around, he was forced back into service. He is unfit to fight and was sure to die had he come. I disguised myself so that I could serve in his place."
I see the anger leave his face for a moment, only to return once again.
"What you have done is considered treason!" He states it in a way that is supposed to scare me.
"I know."
"The penalty is death!"
"I know."
All of my answers are flat, emotionless. My unshaken resolve irritates him further.
"You act like you want to die!" he snaps. And just like that, he has taken it one step too far. I glare at him, and when I respond, my voice is angry.
"I want to make it home to my family just as much as every man here! However, I have already accepted the fact that that is not going to happen! I have already told you, death does not scare me, and neither do you!" I spit. He seems taken aback by this blatant show of rebelliousness and disrespect. Having no response, he turns away from me.
"I trusted Ping," he states quietly. "I now see I had no reason to. It is my duty to execute you, and I will go through with it." The words sting, but I suppose I should expect no less. I have always had great respect for this man, and I had become more than simply his second in command, we were friends. He was like an older brother to me, a mentor, and, when he did let his walls down, he treated me like a younger brother. I see now how much I have hurt him, how betrayed he is. Part of me hates myself for doing this to him, for putting him in this position. I can't let him see that though. I can't show weakness.
Just then, Chi-Fu storms in. The councilman seems appalled by just the sight of me, his face twisting in anger and distaste. "So it's true!" he snarls.
I watch Captain Li march from the tent, leaving me alone with the hateful little man. Chi-Fu grabs my forearm and proceeds to drag me from the tent. Maybe the thing I should be worried most about is the fact I am about to be executed, but what truly bothers me is the fact that I am shirtless. I have nothing but the bandages covering my chest, leaving me feeling exposed as we emerge from the tent. I see every man in the company staring at me, and a cowardly part of me wants to crawl back into the tent and grab something, anything to cover myself.
"I knew there was something wrong with you!" Chi-Fu yells. I sharp pain runs through my scalp momentarily as he reaches up and tugs out the ribbon holding my hair up, and I feel my cropped hair brush against my bare shoulders. "A woman!" he continues, presenting me to the others like I am some sort of display. I hear gasps arise from the crowd in front of me. "Treacherous snake!"
Abruptly, I am hurled face-first onto the ground, and the cold snow stings my face. A sharp pain runs through my right side as the still-tender wound pulls against the stitches I am sure are holding it together. I use my arm to push myself up so that I can look at the men. "My name is Mulan!" I shout. I try to lock eye contact with them, but they refuse to hold it. Then, I notice a red figure standing towards the back of the crowd, his stature at least a head taller than all of the men here. It's the captain, his back turned to me. I look towards him, my eyes burning holes in his back. I know he can feel my stare. "I did it to save my father!" I continue, struggling to keep my anger in check.
"HIGH TREASON!" Chi-Fu interjects.
"It was the only way!" I snap back, my eyes still not leaving the red figure only a few feet away.
I honestly don't think Chi-Fu hears a word I say as he continues, screaming in my face, "ULTIMATE DISHONOR!" His anger has made him sound part crazed, but he finally reels himself in enough to form a complete sentence. This time, however, he addresses the crowd of men, not I. "I, Chi-Fu, the Emperor's most trusted adviser, herby convict Fa Mulan of high treason for breaking one of China's most sacred laws!" (If the topic of this sentence weren't so serious, I probably would have laughed out loud at how righteous that man sounds.) "Under the Imperial Law, I sentence her to be executed!" Then, he turns to two men standing near to him. "Grab her," he orders. The two waste no time grabbing me under my arms and hoisting me to my feet. And, just like that, I begin the short march that will lead to my inevitable death.
I stand straight, my head held high, unwilling to show any signs of weakness. Except for the sound of my footsteps along with those of the two soldiers guiding me, all is silent. That is, it is silent…until it isn't. The sound makes the two soldiers and I stop in our tracks, and even Chi-Fu seems to be still, silent. It is the most beautiful sound I have heard in a long time, and it seems to make everything stop for a glorious second.
"For our fallen brother we pray."
The first line of "Honor Our Brothers" is sung in a soft, lovely baritone, and the other soldiers surrounding this singer move away, allowing him to be seen by all. Shock and pride run through me in a wonderful way as I see none other than my little shadow standing there, a meaningful look in his eyes. I can't believe it. This young man who used to be afraid of the other soldiers simply because they were bigger than him, who had cried when he was punched, who was afraid to speak out, is now brave enough to sing a song to bring honor to a woman now considered a traitor. A woman he still considers his sister. As Qing goes to sing the next line, Mushu joins in.
"Who we lay to rest on this day."
Ling, Yao, and Chien-Po join in for the third.
"Their sacrifice will not go unnoted."
And, just like that, more men in our small company move to stand by my friends, continuing the song.
"To their country of which they were so devoted"
A large smile forms across my face as I realize what this means. These men, they accept me. Despite my gender, they still respect me. Sure, there are a few of them who aren't singing, who look at me with malice and hate, but hate is something I have encountered time and time again. Right now, I focus on the good. And with that thought in mind, I join the men for the second verse.
I'll protect my homeland until the end of this war is nigh
Even if it means that I must die
I'll bow down my head and accept my fate
And hope to see those pearly gates
Finally, Chi-Fu seems to return to his snarky self, yelling at us while we continue to pay him no mind. "What is wrong with you! She's a traitor! A traitor!" Instead of stopping, the men continue, and I drop out as I listen to the new verse they have created.
For our fallen sister we pray
May she rest in peace on this day
Her sacrifice will not go unnoted
To her country of which she is still so devoted
I am honored that these men would do this for me. By singing this song, they are giving me the same send-off as they would any other soldier who died protecting what they love. Unfortunately, the beautiful moment ends too fast as I am jerked forward by the two men I forgot were at my side. The singing stops as I march my last few steps.
Harshly, I am forced to my knees in the snow just a few feet away from where Captain Li stands. His back still faces me, seemingly unfazed by the rebellious scene the men under his command just created.
"Captain!" Chi-Fu orders.
And just like that, he is snapped out of his reverie. In one swift movement, he unsheathes my sword, my father's sword, from where it is hanging from Khan's back, and turns towards me. I watch as he takes a few menacing steps, closing the distance between us. I will admit, the look of hate on his face sends a shiver down my spine, and I wonder if that is the last thing I will ever see. Soon, he stands right in front of me. I bow my head, feeling my short hair fall away from my neck, leaving it exposed. 'What would Father think,' I muse to myself, 'if he knew that his daughter's life was ended by his own blade.' I close my eyes tight and whisper a little prayer Father taught me when I was younger, bracing myself for the blow.
I hear the blade woosh through the air, and I wait for the pain, for the end.
It doesn't come.
Instead, I hear a thump in front of me. And I see it, my father's sword, laying on the ground. I look up into the eyes of the man who seconds ago was my executioner.
"A life for a life," he states simply in a low voice, "my debt is repaid." With that, he turns on his heels, shouting an order. "Men, move out!" The emphasis on 'men' is salt in the wound.
"You can't just-" Chi-Fu begins a weak argument before being silenced by Captain Li.
"I said, move out!" he spits, his face inches from that of the councilman's.
Chi-Fu gives up fighting with the captain, and instead turns to me. "Take one step into the Imperial City and you will be dead before you know what hit you," he threatens, narrowing his eyes. I glare in response. Satisfied, the awful little man turns on his heel, joining the others.
Just like that, I see them leave, all of them. Mushu gives me a meaningful look, and I nod in acknowledgment. As I see that red cape disappear from sight, I realize that I am now truly, utterly alone.
Author's Note: Well, there you go! Leave a review and let me know what you think! Also, I got a really wonderful review from a guest last chapter! If that was you, thank you so much! A giant thank you to Firework Warrior, who has left a review on almost all of my chapters! These reviews truly inspire me to keep writing!
