Make me some tea. -SH

I'm on a train, Sherlock. -JW

What, why? -SH

I'm going to Harry's. I did tell you this but as always, you never listen. -JW

Make your own bloody tea. -JW

Well I'm going to have to now since you've decided to leave me unannounced. -SH

It wasn't unannounced, I told you two days ago that I'm going to Harry's for Christmas Eve. -JW

It's unimportant, must have tuned it out. -SH

It's not unimportant, Sherlock. -JW

Anyways when are you back? -SH

I thought you said it wasn't important. -JW

Shut up. -SH

Make me. -JW

You're on the naughty list, Dr. Watson. -SH

Pop culture reference? I'm impressed. -JW

Thank you. -SH

When will you be home? -SH

Ideally I'd like to be home Christmas Eve night but I know Harry will try to convince me to stay over until Christmas Day. -JW

Who are you spending Christmas with? You didn't mention. -JW

Nobody. Mrs Hudson is going to her sister's and my parents are in Florida. -SH

What about Mycroft? -JW

What about him? -SH

Why don't you spend Christmas with him? -JW

Don't be frivolous, John. -SH

So you're spending it alone? -JW

Yes. -SH

Oh, well in that case I'll come home Christmas Eve and we can spend Christmas together. -JW

If that's alright with you. -JW

It's more than alright but you don't have to if you don't want. -SH

No, I want to. I would like to spend Christmas with you, Sherlock. -JW

I'd like to spend Christmas with you too. -SH

Do you know who Mycroft will be with? -JW

Don't know, don't care. -SH

I care. If he's not doing anything I'd like to invite him for dinner. -JW

Why would you do that for? -SH

People shouldn't be alone at Christmas. You should be spending it with the people you love and care about. -JW

So you love and care about Mycroft? -SH

In a way, yes. -JW

Invite him, please. -JW

No. -SH

Fine, I'll do it myself. -JW

You're too hospitable. -SH

Thank you. -JW

That wasn't a compliment. -SH

I know. :) -JW

Good afternoon, Mycroft. -JW

Good afternoon, John. I understand that you're on your way to your sister's house. Is there a problem? -MH

Before I would have asked you how you know that but now I'm just going to thank you for keeping tabs on me. -JW

You are most welcome John. So what is the purpose of your text if you're not in any trouble. -MH

I was wondering who you are spending Christmas with. -JW

I don't have any definite plans for Christmas Day. As you most likely know my parents are in Florida and well, Sherlock and I don't necessarily get along. -MH

How about yourself? -MH

Well as you already know I'm going to Harry's for Christmas Eve. Then I've decided I'm going back to Baker Street for Christmas Day to spend it with Sherlock. -JW

Sounds wonderful. -MH

I was wondering if you would like to join us for dinner on Christmas Day. -JW

I don't understand. -MH

I'm inviting you to Christmas Day dinner at 221B Baker Street. -JW

Oh, Dr. Watson. How kind of you to invite me, I graciously accept your invitation. -MH

I understand that in no way Sherlock would put you up to this so this is your own doing. Thank you for thinking of me. -MH

Not a problem, Mycroft. I wouldn't want you to be alone on Christmas. -JW

The idea of being alone on Christmas is quite daunting. -MH

My parents most certainly will hold a Christmas event next year, I'll ensure that you're invited. -MH

Thank you, I appreciate that. -JW

I am grateful for your companionship, John. -MH

Likewise, Mycroft. -JW

I look forward to seeing you, see you then. -JW

Good day, John. -MH

All done. Your brother is coming for dinner on the 25th. -JW

He accepted the invitation? -SH

He did. He accepted it 'graciously'.

Oh he's trying to get in your pants. -SH

What!? Sherlock, no. We're just friends. -JW

Besides I've got you. I don't want another Holmes. -JW

We're not romantically involved. -SH

Doesn't matter. Mycroft and I are nothing but friends but he still seems shocked by that. -JW

He's very sentimental. -JW

He is which really doesn't help with the persona he's created. -SH

Not at all. He's not as scary as he thinks he is. -JW

I'm going to be getting the underground now so I'll text you when I get signal. -JW

You should get Mycroft to give you a bypass for signal underground. -SH

I don't enjoy mooching of off your family. -JW

They don't mind, they love you. Also it's not mooching if you desperately refuse until you give in. -SH

That's true. Well for now I'll have no signal, so talk to you later. -JW

Bye. -SH

(30 minutes later)

Sherlock I'm getting chased by a fan help. -JW

How am I supposed to help you? -SH

They won't stop following me. -JW

Just ask them what they want. -SH

John? -SH

John are you okay? -SH

John answer me. -SH

Sherlock. -JW

Is everything alright? -SH

Um. No. -JW

What happened? Did the fan attack you? Are you okay? -SH

They showed me something. -JW

Showed you what? -SH

I don't know if you want to see. -JW

Show me. -SH

Um okay. You can just see for yourself. -JW

Google 'johnlock'. -JW

Our fans think that we're in a romantic relationship.-SH

Yep. -JW

They've created 'fanfiction'.-SH

Don't read it! I made the mistake of reading of it. Some of it is quite graphic. They think we're shagging. -JW

Essentially porn..about us? -SH

Yep. -JW

I do like the joining of our names, johnlock. -SH

You're not bothered by this??? This is an envasion of our privacy and quite disturbing. -JW

Oh I am bothered but what's the point in being angry. Our fans have made themselves quite clear. There's a lot of fan stories. -SH

I saw one in french and another in Indian. -JW

We're known worldwide. -SH

We are. I still find it creepy though. They are writing about us having sex in graphic detail. -JW

I skimmed over some and in every one I'm the 'bottom'. -SH

Why do they think I'm the 'bottom'? -SH

You seriously think you could top me? No chance. -JW

I could. I'd be the 'top'. -SH

No you wouldn't Sherlock, I'm the 'top'. -JW

So you're quite dominant in the bedroom. -SH

I am. I assume you're quite submissive. -JW

I don't listen to anyone, why would I listen to someone in the bedroom. -SH

You listen to me. -JW

So because I listen to you, you think you could control me in the bedroom? -SH

I do. I have several army techniques so I can pin you down if you resist. -JW

Kinky. -SH

Some people like a man in uniform. -JW

Have any of your past sexual encounters have a military kink? -SH

Some of them but only to the extent of me telling them what to do. I'd never wear fatigues or dog tags, that's something intimate with somebody I actually care about. -JW

Speaking of fatigues. I found some 'fan art' of us. I'll send it to you. -SH(Sends picture of Sherlock and John topless, John is wearing military pants. Sherlock is hugging John from behind)

People think you have a military kink. -JW

It appears so. -SH

I still find this creepy but I'm quite flattered as to how they drew me. -JW

As am I. My chest isn't nearly as defined as they think it is. -SH

I've seen your chest a few times. It's quite defined. -JW

Are you insecure? -JW

Yes. No. Maybe. -SH

The great Sherlock Holmes is insecure. -JW

I'm not. -SH

It's okay to be insecure, it's normal. -JW

I am not normal. -SH

No you are bloody not. -JW

Speaking of, can you at least put the foot thats in the fridge in a container??-JW

No. We don't have a container that will fit it without squishing it. I can't risk damaging it. -SH

Buy a big enough container. I'm fed up of being greeted with body parts in the morning. -JW

I thought you'd be used to it by now. -SH

I am but that doesn't mean I like it. -JW

I'll ask Molly for some containers the next time I got to Bart's. -SH

Thanks, mate. -JW