Make me some tea. -SH
I'm on a train, Sherlock. -JW
What, why? -SH
I'm going to Harry's. I did tell you this but as always, you never listen. -JW
Make your own bloody tea. -JW
Well I'm going to have to now since you've decided to leave me unannounced. -SH
It wasn't unannounced, I told you two days ago that I'm going to Harry's for Christmas Eve. -JW
It's unimportant, must have tuned it out. -SH
It's not unimportant, Sherlock. -JW
Anyways when are you back? -SH
I thought you said it wasn't important. -JW
Shut up. -SH
Make me. -JW
You're on the naughty list, Dr. Watson. -SH
Pop culture reference? I'm impressed. -JW
Thank you. -SH
When will you be home? -SH
Ideally I'd like to be home Christmas Eve night but I know Harry will try to convince me to stay over until Christmas Day. -JW
Who are you spending Christmas with? You didn't mention. -JW
Nobody. Mrs Hudson is going to her sister's and my parents are in Florida. -SH
What about Mycroft? -JW
What about him? -SH
Why don't you spend Christmas with him? -JW
Don't be frivolous, John. -SH
So you're spending it alone? -JW
Yes. -SH
Oh, well in that case I'll come home Christmas Eve and we can spend Christmas together. -JW
If that's alright with you. -JW
It's more than alright but you don't have to if you don't want. -SH
No, I want to. I would like to spend Christmas with you, Sherlock. -JW
I'd like to spend Christmas with you too. -SH
Do you know who Mycroft will be with? -JW
Don't know, don't care. -SH
I care. If he's not doing anything I'd like to invite him for dinner. -JW
Why would you do that for? -SH
People shouldn't be alone at Christmas. You should be spending it with the people you love and care about. -JW
So you love and care about Mycroft? -SH
In a way, yes. -JW
Invite him, please. -JW
No. -SH
Fine, I'll do it myself. -JW
You're too hospitable. -SH
Thank you. -JW
That wasn't a compliment. -SH
I know. :) -JW
Good afternoon, Mycroft. -JW
Good afternoon, John. I understand that you're on your way to your sister's house. Is there a problem? -MH
Before I would have asked you how you know that but now I'm just going to thank you for keeping tabs on me. -JW
You are most welcome John. So what is the purpose of your text if you're not in any trouble. -MH
I was wondering who you are spending Christmas with. -JW
I don't have any definite plans for Christmas Day. As you most likely know my parents are in Florida and well, Sherlock and I don't necessarily get along. -MH
How about yourself? -MH
Well as you already know I'm going to Harry's for Christmas Eve. Then I've decided I'm going back to Baker Street for Christmas Day to spend it with Sherlock. -JW
Sounds wonderful. -MH
I was wondering if you would like to join us for dinner on Christmas Day. -JW
I don't understand. -MH
I'm inviting you to Christmas Day dinner at 221B Baker Street. -JW
Oh, Dr. Watson. How kind of you to invite me, I graciously accept your invitation. -MH
I understand that in no way Sherlock would put you up to this so this is your own doing. Thank you for thinking of me. -MH
Not a problem, Mycroft. I wouldn't want you to be alone on Christmas. -JW
The idea of being alone on Christmas is quite daunting. -MH
My parents most certainly will hold a Christmas event next year, I'll ensure that you're invited. -MH
Thank you, I appreciate that. -JW
I am grateful for your companionship, John. -MH
Likewise, Mycroft. -JW
I look forward to seeing you, see you then. -JW
Good day, John. -MH
All done. Your brother is coming for dinner on the 25th. -JW
He accepted the invitation? -SH
He did. He accepted it 'graciously'.
Oh he's trying to get in your pants. -SH
What!? Sherlock, no. We're just friends. -JW
Besides I've got you. I don't want another Holmes. -JW
We're not romantically involved. -SH
Doesn't matter. Mycroft and I are nothing but friends but he still seems shocked by that. -JW
He's very sentimental. -JW
He is which really doesn't help with the persona he's created. -SH
Not at all. He's not as scary as he thinks he is. -JW
I'm going to be getting the underground now so I'll text you when I get signal. -JW
You should get Mycroft to give you a bypass for signal underground. -SH
I don't enjoy mooching of off your family. -JW
They don't mind, they love you. Also it's not mooching if you desperately refuse until you give in. -SH
That's true. Well for now I'll have no signal, so talk to you later. -JW
Bye. -SH
(30 minutes later)
Sherlock I'm getting chased by a fan help. -JW
How am I supposed to help you? -SH
They won't stop following me. -JW
Just ask them what they want. -SH
John? -SH
John are you okay? -SH
John answer me. -SH
Sherlock. -JW
Is everything alright? -SH
Um. No. -JW
What happened? Did the fan attack you? Are you okay? -SH
They showed me something. -JW
Showed you what? -SH
I don't know if you want to see. -JW
Show me. -SH
Um okay. You can just see for yourself. -JW
Google 'johnlock'. -JW
Our fans think that we're in a romantic relationship.-SH
Yep. -JW
They've created 'fanfiction'.-SH
Don't read it! I made the mistake of reading of it. Some of it is quite graphic. They think we're shagging. -JW
Essentially porn..about us? -SH
Yep. -JW
I do like the joining of our names, johnlock. -SH
You're not bothered by this??? This is an envasion of our privacy and quite disturbing. -JW
Oh I am bothered but what's the point in being angry. Our fans have made themselves quite clear. There's a lot of fan stories. -SH
I saw one in french and another in Indian. -JW
We're known worldwide. -SH
We are. I still find it creepy though. They are writing about us having sex in graphic detail. -JW
I skimmed over some and in every one I'm the 'bottom'. -SH
Why do they think I'm the 'bottom'? -SH
You seriously think you could top me? No chance. -JW
I could. I'd be the 'top'. -SH
No you wouldn't Sherlock, I'm the 'top'. -JW
So you're quite dominant in the bedroom. -SH
I am. I assume you're quite submissive. -JW
I don't listen to anyone, why would I listen to someone in the bedroom. -SH
You listen to me. -JW
So because I listen to you, you think you could control me in the bedroom? -SH
I do. I have several army techniques so I can pin you down if you resist. -JW
Kinky. -SH
Some people like a man in uniform. -JW
Have any of your past sexual encounters have a military kink? -SH
Some of them but only to the extent of me telling them what to do. I'd never wear fatigues or dog tags, that's something intimate with somebody I actually care about. -JW
Speaking of fatigues. I found some 'fan art' of us. I'll send it to you. -SH(Sends picture of Sherlock and John topless, John is wearing military pants. Sherlock is hugging John from behind)
People think you have a military kink. -JW
It appears so. -SH
I still find this creepy but I'm quite flattered as to how they drew me. -JW
As am I. My chest isn't nearly as defined as they think it is. -SH
I've seen your chest a few times. It's quite defined. -JW
Are you insecure? -JW
Yes. No. Maybe. -SH
The great Sherlock Holmes is insecure. -JW
I'm not. -SH
It's okay to be insecure, it's normal. -JW
I am not normal. -SH
No you are bloody not. -JW
Speaking of, can you at least put the foot thats in the fridge in a container??-JW
No. We don't have a container that will fit it without squishing it. I can't risk damaging it. -SH
Buy a big enough container. I'm fed up of being greeted with body parts in the morning. -JW
I thought you'd be used to it by now. -SH
I am but that doesn't mean I like it. -JW
I'll ask Molly for some containers the next time I got to Bart's. -SH
Thanks, mate. -JW
