When Kurt came back from class, Burt was sitting the table eating lasagna.

"Hey, kiddo. How were your classes?"

"Fine. My Statistics professor talked about all of the fields that use statistical research. It's a very practical type of math. I think I'll like it a lot more than taking calculus, which isn't used in regular daily life. And World History is interesting."

"Yeah, you've liked history for a long time. Are you hungry? I know that 11:00 is a little early for lunch, but I didn't eat any breakfast."

"I'll warm some up and eat with you. Sebastian won't be home until a little before dinner, I think. This is his first day of college. I need to remember to take a picture of him when he gets home. I was thrown off my game when you showed up unexpectedly." He put his container of lasagna in the microwave.

"I like him."

"Good. So do I," Kurt teased.

Burt quit eating and waited for Kurt. "How's your hand feeling?"

"Meh. I took ibuprofen like the sheet from the ER said. I'm due for some more. I'll take it after I eat. It doesn't feel great, but I'll live. My back actually hurts more. With the cast on, the injured part isn't being moved. I can't just hold still to keep my back from hurting. But it's not that big of a deal. I've had worse."

"You still haven't come clean about how bad it was in Lima, have you?"

"I'm not sure what purpose there would be in telling you. It wouldn't have changed anything then, and it won't change anything now or in the future. I told you that I'd quit hiding important things. I texted you last night and told you about this. I kept my word." He pulled the glass bowl out of the microwave using a silicone potholder. He grabbed a fork and sat down at the table.

"I like this place. It's small, but it's not claustrophobia inducing like my place in DC. We're looking for another place, someplace that Carole will like more. We really need a place with a separate bedroom area since she comes with me more often now."

Kurt nodded. "How's she doing? She doesn't keep in contact with me like she used to."

"She's still not doing well. She did start seeing someone, but I haven't seen a lot of improvement yet. She manages to hide it better. She can turn on the 'old Carole' for an evening or when she runs into someone she knows, but the instant the event is over or the person isn't around, she slips back into her 'new Carole', which means she's quiet and sad."

"It's hard. I saw her do what you just described for my birthday."

Burt looked like he was going to say something, but then stopped. He took a deep breath. "I was surprised to see you and Sebastian sharing a room. I know it's on me, bud. I just can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that you're 20."

"I don't have an answer for that."

"I don't expect you to."

"I think that maybe your only option is to just do what I did."

"What was that?"

"Tell myself every day. I've started trying to demolish my old habits by telling myself true statements. My therapist suggested that I try to tell myself positive things to build myself up, but I was unsuccessful at that, so we took a step back and I tell myself true things."

"I don't get it."

"Well, I would look in the mirror and notice all of my flaws. My face was too round. I looked weak. I wasn't muscular enough. I have pear hips. And I couldn't move from that to saying the opposite. I couldn't look in the mirror and tell myself that I looked strong. I could, however, manage to look in the mirror and notice areas that had gotten stronger or remind myself of things that I had learned that made me less vulnerable, like the stuff I was learning in Stage Combat and from some martial arts lessons I traded for some tailoring."

"Okay. Why are you so down on yourself? You're a really great person and you care about people. Why does having, what did you say? 'Pear hips'? Honestly, I don't even know what it means. Why does having pear hips matter?"

"It was one of the many insults lobbed at me. I look in the mirror and the echoes of the things I've been called bounce around in my mind. Sebastian has really helped with that." Kurt smiled faintly.

"You're in love with him."

"I am," cheerfully admitted.

"It seems so fast."

"I know. Trust me, I know. But we built our friendship long-distance while he was still in Ohio. He was really there for me in a way that no one has been before. I knew he liked me when I agreed to stay here. He told me so that day at the coffee shop. I told him I wasn't interested or ready. And he never pressured me. I was the one who asked him."

"And you said you had a good time with his family in Florida. I was glad to hear that. Maybe sometime we could meet them."

"I'm sure we could arrange that."

"The lasagna was really good."

"Sebastian made it. He's a good cook. I know he and I both still have a lot to learn, but it's so different living with him than it was living with Rachel. I feel at home in my home. Don't get me wrong. There were good times with Rachel and I am trying to work things out with her. That's where I had been when I walked past the alley last night. I was walking from her place to the subway after she and I talked. Funny Girl opened Sunday night and she was fantastic."

"Tell me about the martial arts."

"Well, one of the TAs teaches a couple of different types on the side. He considered my build and my strengths and weaknesses and decided that in our limited time that his best bet would be to teach me some defensive hold breaks and offensive kicks because I have good balance and I'm flexible. And kicks always deal more of a blow than simply punching someone unless you're trained well at hand-to-hand fighting. So, I caught on quickly and I'm pretty good at it. After last night, I've decided to go back to him and see what it would cost for me to take lessons twice a month or something."

"You do that, and if you can't afford it, just let me know. I want Sebastian to go too." He took his hat off and rubbed his hand across his head before putting his hat back on. "I thought you'd be safe here or at least safer." He sighed. "And then last night happened. I'm sorry I got so upset about you trying to help someone. You've always been the type to help. I'm not going to talk you out of something that's in your nature to do, but I do want you to get more lessons." He looked Kurt in the eye. "Not so you'll become a vigilante though, got it?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to go out looking for fights."

Burt nodded. "I overreacted."

"I know. It's okay. You lost mom and Finn. You don't want to lose me too. Now, you know why I hassle you so much about taking walks. That's something easy that you can do to stay healthy for longer. I don't want to lose you either."

"I walk a lot in DC. More than I would ever choose to."

"Good." Kurt grabbed both bowls and washed them. "So, what are you're plans?"

"While you were gone, I booked a flight back this evening. I'm dropping the car off at the airport."

"Well, I normally work until 6 on Tuesdays, but since I'm off, I'm all yours."

"You need to rest. Get ice or heat, whatever they said, on your back and we'll watch a movie and relax, maybe talk some more. Maybe we'll go for a walk later. You said Sebastian won't be back for a while."

"Yeah, Mr. Genius has a 3-hour lab every afternoon. He's taking the equivalent of two Advanced Physics courses, squished into a summer session. And he's taking Calculus III."

"That's impressive."

"It is. Can you give him a fair chance? For me?"

"Of course, Kurt. It's not that I'm not going to give him a chance. I already like the guy. What am I doing that gives you the impression that I don't like him?"

"I guess it's probably just that you never really ask about him. I'm not sure, actually. Just a vague feeling, I guess."

"Well, your 'vague feeling' aside, I do like the guy. He seems to be a straight shooter and he helped you out when you were about to make a really bad choice."

"He did. But that's not why I'm with him now." Kurt dried the storage bowls and put them away. "I'll get the ice pack and you pick the movie. What DVDs we have are in the top drawer on the right. We have Netflix and Amazon too." Kurt grabbed the bag of frozen corn, took two more ibuprofen, and pulled the curtains closed before he sat down.


After the movie, they spent the rest of the afternoon talking, mostly about Kurt's mom and Finn. Quite a few tears were shed and there was a good bit of hugging.

When Sebastian unlocked the door and came in, he found them sitting at the table playing poker. He saw that Kurt's pile of chips was larger.

Kurt stood up. "Stop. Wait right there." He hurried into their room and grabbed Sebastian's camera and his phone and scurried back. "I forgot to take your picture this morning."

Sebastian looked perplexed.

"Today was your first day of college. Put your backpack back up on your shoulder and smile." Kurt winked at him, which caused him to smile. Kurt snapped a quick photo. He switched to his phone. He took another. "Now, one I can send to your parents." He walked over to Sebastian to get his approval.

"It's fine." He kissed Kurt on the temple.

"We're in the middle of a 10-game match. At the end whoever has fewer chips at the end is buying dinner. I've already chosen the place – Mercado sin mancha's taquería."

"Ooh. That actually sounds really good. You'll like it there, Mr. Hummel."

"I'm sure I will. I love tacos. You need to call me 'Burt' though. I get called Mr. Hummel by people who don't know me."

"Alright. I can do that." He went towards their spare room and put his books on his shelf, leaving his Calculus book on the desk, and sat down to start working on the problems he needed to do.

Kurt came to look for him when he and Burt finished the hand they were playing. Sebastian looked up when Kurt walked up to him. Kurt stepped closer and leaned down to offer him a kiss, which he quickly returned.

"You can sit with us, if we won't distract you too much. I don't want you to feel like I don't want you around. I know he's a little rough around the edges, but he likes you."

"Okay. I just know you don't get to spend much time with him."

"I don't, but I want him to get used to you. I don't want you to step aside whenever he's around." He put his forearms on Sebastian's shoulders and leaned down to kiss the top of his head. "I love you. I won't twist your arm, but you're welcome to be with us."

"I love you too." He turned in his chair. "Why are you wearing a long-sleeved shirt when it's hot?" He paused and thought. "Your dad doesn't know about the tattoos does he?"

"No."

"I'll come sit with you." He grabbed what he needed.

Kurt left the room and went in their bedroom and put a t-shirt on, stalling a bit by looking in the mirror and giving himself a pep talk.

Sebastian was sitting at the table with his Calculus book, a spiral-bound notebook, and the pencil case Kurt had made for him when Kurt came back in. He sat back down and picked up the cards Burt had dealt while he was out of the room.

"You look more like it's July now. You always wore long sleeves in the summer. I could never figure out why."

"At some points, I just didn't want anyone to see my body at all. Most of the time, I wore clothes like armor."

Kurt's cell phone rang, interrupting him. He picked it up and saw Adam's name. He swiped to answer knowing that something was definitely up with him calling outside of their normal scheduled times.

"Hey, Adam!"

"Kurt, I just had to call and tell you. I just got the call back from the director. They picked me. I'm Juror #8!"

"Oh, my God, Adam. That's fantastic! You're going to be amazing. You have to get someone to record it somehow. I want to see you in it."

Adam laughed. "I don't know, but I'll see what I can do. I won't keep you. I just couldn't wait until tomorrow to tell you."

"I'm glad you called. Congratulations!" Kurt disconnected the call. "Adam got that part in 12 Angry Jurors. He got Juror #8."

"Isn't that the one that convinces all of the others?" Sebastian asked.

"It is."

"Adam's your friend that went back to England, right?" Burt asked.

Kurt nodded. "That's such a good role. Adam's so sweet and sincere. It's nice to get to play a good character. I'll find out when it opens tomorrow when I talk to him. I talk to him every Wednesday."

"I'm glad he finally got a role," Sebastian said. "I'm sorry that he won't be coming back here though. I know you miss him."

"I do, but this is a great opportunity for him. If he stays with the show for a while, he'll have a better chance of getting another role in the future." He thought about his wrists as his hands lay in his lap. There's no real way to ease into this. He put his elbows on the table and rotated his arms so that his wrists were facing Burt.

"You have tattoos on your wrists. They're completely healed, so they aren't new."

"I had them done a little over a week after Finn's funeral. I spent a lot of time thinking about him and Mom. I just felt like after the pain of everything, I needed something physical to remind me that I'm still here and that life is more than just putting one foot in front of the other and surviving, although we have periods like that. I know that Mom and Finn wouldn't want me to just give up."

Burt looked at them carefully to see what they said. "Defy Gravity," he said. "That's from Wicked. I've heard you sing that song a million times."

"Yes, it's from Wicked, but I've only sung it a few hundred times at most and very few of those times were where you could hear it."

"That's the one Schue didn't want to give you a chance to sing, isn't it."

"It is."

"And the other one?"

"It's from a song too. When I was at Dalton, Finn performed 'I've Gotta Be Me' for the Glee Club. He sent me the recording Rachel made, which I kept."

"I'd like you to send it to me. I think Carole would like to have it."

"Okay."

"Sing it for me."

Kurt did as Burt asked.


I can't be right for somebody else
If I'm not right for me.
I gotta be free. I just gotta be free.
Daring to try, to do it or die.
I've gotta be me.

"I get it," Burt said. "Did you think I was going to be angry?"

"I don't know. I think I need to spend some more time working on talking through some things with the guy I see."

"If I'm honest with you, Kurt. This kind of thing is probably one of the things to make me feel like you're still a child. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings in any way, but you ask me why I feel the way I do. I think this is part of it. Children do things like mess with things that don't belong to them and when asked about it, they lie. Or they do things like throw the thing they broke in the trash and then pretend to have no idea where it is. The way you keep things from me has become your default reaction, and from a parent's perspective it's really immature. So, it's this weird circle where you thought you were doing the 'adult' thing to not worry me by telling me the stuff that went on that hurt you. But the constant secretive behavior made me trust you less and made me more protective of you because you were acting childish. It's weird. I know. You're an adult. You have a body. You can clothe that body, style the hair on your body, and you can tattoo or pierce your body in any way that you deem attractive or whatever. You don't need my approval to do those things. But you want my approval still."

Kurt looked down and closed his eyes. A couple of minutes passed before he spoke. "You teased me about my taste in clothes. You wouldn't let me drive the Navigator until I promised to stop wearing those 'girly' long sweaters. You told me that it was my job to be myself and your job to love me, and then you told me not to wear the kilt." Tears streaked down Kurt's cheeks. "You took it away again when you found my tiaras and never even gave me a chance to explain. The tiaras were Mom's. When she was sick and felt terrible, she'd prop up in the bed and let me sit on her lap and do her hair. And then, I'd put the tiaras on her and on me and we'd eat cookies and drink tea I made. I had hoped to pass them on to a daughter, if I ever had one. Plus, you had to have been snooping to find them because I had them stored away and only got them out when I was really missing her."

Burt's face fell.

"Just so you know, I skipped school the next morning and went to the place where you always donated stuff and I told the manager why I needed them back. They hadn't been put out for sale yet. I had to buy them back, but I do have them."

"I'm glad."

"I also never kept my promise about the sweaters."

Burt chuckled and wiped his eyes.

"You went to my choir performances through middle school, and then you just quit coming. But then when I played football and you were up on your feet cheering for me."

Burt's expression changed to guilt.

Kurt spoke again, ever more quietly. "A month and a half ago, you went to Nationals – in Los Angeles. You didn't come to see me and Finn at Nationals either year. You only came to Regionals senior year when it was held at McKinley, the same day that Rachel and Finn were going to get married."

"You're right, Kurt. And I'm sorry."

"Is it okay if I say something?" Sebastian asked.

Kurt looked up and saw nothing but kindness in his eyes. "Yeah, of course."

"I'm not an expert, but from listening to you talk, I don't think Kurt was acting childish. I think Kurt somehow ended up parenting you in a lot of ways. And you took on the role of nay-saying, sassy teen. Teasing him about his clothing choices is like a teen teasing their dad because he can't figure out to get his Kindle to work. The big difference is that the parent is old enough not to take the teasing to heart, but a kid isn't. I think Kurt never felt like you loved him unconditionally, despite the fact that he clearly knew that you loved him. You said things that your actions didn't match."

"He's right. Like last Christmas. You said you came to spend it with me, and then you made a bet on how long it would take me to pick up a magazine during a basketball game. If you came to spend time with me, why was the basketball game even on? Why weren't we watching a Christmas movie or a spy movie? Something we all could have enjoyed. You sat there and told him that you knew me better than he did. And while that could have been true, what it proved more than anything was that you knew I wouldn't want to watch a basketball game on Christmas, but you had it on anyway."

"You're right. Again, though, if you had told me the truth about what had happened, that visit would have been a lot different."

"You could have asked. Think about it this way. You wouldn't let me have people over to your house without getting permission first. What gave you the idea that you had the right to ask people to my home to stay without asking me first? I had someone over once without advanced permission and you told me I behaved inappropriately. I think bringing my ex to my home to stay with me as my Christmas gift was a hell of a lot more inappropriate."

"You're right. It was. I acted on assumptions, which is never a good choice. I'm sorry."

Kurt nodded, but didn't say anything.

"I'm also sorry about the kilt and saying things about your clothes. I get what Sebastian was saying. I was the only adult you had in your life and I shouldn't have teased you like that."

Kurt nodded again. He drew a couple of cards and discarded. He slipped a few chips forward.

"Whatever happened with that song? The gravity one."

"I blew the high note on purpose and Rachel won, but we didn't end up using it for Sectionals anyway."

"Why did you blow it after I went in to fight for you to get a chance?"

"You got that call." He continued with the game play.

Burt's eyes narrowed, clearly trying to figure out what call Kurt was referring to.

"The one about me being a fag."

"Oh. Why did that make you blow the song?"

"I figured that if I sang a girl's song at a public competition that even more people would call and harass you at work. You didn't deserve that. You were really upset by it. I didn't want it to happen even more." He laid his cards down to show a straight.

Burt showed a single pair of jacks.

Kurt pulled the chips in the middle towards himself.

They played the last hand in silence. Kurt folded quickly and ended their match. He clearly had more chips than Burt without bothering to count. He stacked the chips back into the cylinder and put the cards back in their box. He stood up and took them and put them in the spare room on the shelf with the games. He went into the bathroom afterwards.

When the bathroom door closed, Burt looked at Sebastian. "You get him. I can just tell."

"We've talked a lot. He gets me too. And I love him."

Burt nodded. "So do I."

Sebastian nodded. "He knows. I think the issue lies more on the side of whether you like him."

Burt sighed.

"I'm really not trying to overstep, but he was genuinely taken aback that my parents and aunt and uncle actually enjoyed spending time talking with him when we were in Florida."

"I didn't get myself any help after Elizabeth died. I didn't get him any help either. We fell into a pattern that shouldn't have happened and now 12 years later, we're still stuck in the loop. I'll go see someone with Carole and start there. I'm not sure what else to try."

"That seems like a good place to start."

Kurt came out of the bathroom. "So, are you ready for some fantastic tacos?"

"I am actually. Lunch was delicious." Burt turned to Sebastian. "I heard that I have you to thank for that."

Sebastian smiled. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. We had surprise guests from Lima Saturday. I made two big pans."

"I ate a piece of the white one. It was really good, but that was ages ago because I ate so early." He stood up and pushed his chair up. "I think I'll visit the bathroom before we leave too." He walked off.

Sebastian closed his book and grabbed his stuff and put them back on his desk. Kurt followed him and pushed the door closed behind him, not enough to latch, but just enough to give them a bit of privacy when Burt came out of the bathroom. Kurt stepped closer to Sebastian.

"Will you hold me for a minute?" he asked quietly.

"Of course." Sebastian opened his arms and wrapped them around Kurt. He pressed his nose into the nape of Kurt's neck and breathed in. "I know you've forgiven me, and I won't apologize again, but I understand so much more now." He could feel Kurt barely nod. He pulled Kurt even closer, making sure to keep his hands off the bruised area of Kurt's back. "I can't even find the words to tell you how glad I am that you gave me a chance. I love you so much, Kurt. You're amazing."

"Maybe I'll believe that again some day, but for now I'll just be glad that you think so." He pulled back a bit and kissed Sebastian sweetly. "Let's go eat tacos."

"Mmm. Sounds good." He let go of Kurt and followed him out to the living room, stopping in the bathroom himself. When he came out he saw Kurt stepping back from hugging Burt.

The three of them headed out.

"Where's the car you rented?" Kurt asked.

"There's a lot a block north of here. That's where I'll head after we eat."

Sebastian took Kurt's hand once they were outside. "Mercado sin mancha is in that general direction, so you won't have to backtrack much."

"Even better." He smiled when he noticed Sebastian proudly holding Kurt's hand.