Sorry... Sometimes work gets in the way, it seems both Loverustal and I seem to be buried under it. Anyhow,
Enjoy!
M.
Chapter 91
Monday, December 31, 2012
"What? No Sam?" Harper asked the moment she opened the door of his parents' house to let him in.
"No." He shook his head.
"I thought you were going back for her birthday," She frowned, confused. They all had hoped.
"I did," Jack answered shortly, getting rid of his jacket.
"Then what are you doing here?" Libby asked with a frown. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, J… It's just…"
"Aren't you two too damn noisy?" Sean said, rolling his eyes at their sisters. "J."
"Sean."
"Want me to get someone for you before you get to that crazy place we call the living room?"
"Nah. It's okay. I can face my family, you know?" Jack smiled. Sean nodded. He didn't comment on how the smile didn't reach Jack's eyes. Nor how he seemed lighter and more worried at the same time.
This time it wasn't any of the usual suspects but the twelve years younger, Finn. The one who usually kept to himself. He normally just listened to the family as they ran over whatever subject was at hand. He and Jack were sitting together by the fireplace, waiting for the family to finish setting up. Waiting for it to be close enough to twelve to eat, finally. The O'Neill family welcomed the new year with food, drinks, loud chatter, and joyful exchanges of love.
"What happened?" Finn asked. Jack just knew what he was talking about.
"Her kid found us. She broke her mom's favorite vase and got scared, it seems. We thought she freaked out seeing us," Jack sighed. They remained quietly watching nothing at all, before he added, "She chose her."
"You'd chose the kid too if you were in her place." Finn pointed, eyeing his kids.
"I know. I can't hang that on her. So, the kid explained to her what happened. She came to my house to talk," Jack kept to himself the rest of the story. Finn and his family didn't need to know just how low Sam had gotten. Probably they didn't need to know how low he'd gotten. Offering her his body in exchange for a few more moments shared with her. A few more moments of feeling at peace.
'I'm such a whore.' He thought.
"So, why didn't you bring her?" Finn asked. Dragging Jack from his thoughts.
"We aren't there yet." He shrugged.
"You know… We know our family is loud and cheery and so Goddamned noisy." They both chuckled at his description. "But hasn't she been away from everything she knew for long enough? Who says this isn't exactly what she needs? A place where no one would judge her because truly, we have no clue who she was before. Except that she loved you and you loved her."
"She has a kid," Jack stated. As if that was the clue to solving every existing mystery. Finn eyed at him and shook his head.
"So? Haven't you noticed? We all do… I bet the kid would love this loud place. I bet mom and dad would spoil her rotten in minutes. Think about it, Jack. Maybe they need to remember how it's like to be loved out loud." With that, Finn patted his knee and stood up, and left Jack to wonder when had his little brother become so insightful.
Soon… The new year was there, and they were all cheering loud. "Now you got another 365 opportunities to fix it, Jack." Shannon had said to his ear as she embraced him tightly. "She needs you. She doesn't know quite how to get to you, but she needs you. They both do."
When she left him, Jack downed his drink in one swift motion. 'She needs you. They both do.' He knew he needed Sam, but could he help her daughter if he could barely help the mother?
Monday, December 31, 2012
Sam had doubted. She knew both Teal'c and Janet would read the change in her demeanor as soon as she entered the room they were occupying. She was thankful that the extent of her love marks was covered under her clothes. Turtleneck longs sleeves and tight pants that left it all too to the imagination.
However, she couldn't do that to P. She couldn't "not-go" because she'd chickened out after what had happened the previous day. Not when she was simply afraid of what her (former?) friends would think. Way back then, she knew Janet would love to know much more about what had happened. Just like she would curiously ask more about her relationship with Teal'c. Sam had wondered how it would be like for them, with the symbiote bag being part of his anatomy.
"Ready?" She asked. As she donned a heavier jacket and Parker did the same while sitting inside the SUV that was parked outside Janet's home. Quite differently to their own house, Janet's was covered with Christmas lights. It gave it such a romantic glow. Sam always had loved that entryway so much. She couldn't help but imagine mistletoe hanging from the lamp as she stood up by Jack's side. Suckling her lower lip, she imagined how he would dip her low and kiss her senseless. As he'd done several times the previous day.
"Everything okay, mom?" Parker asked. Looking at her mom staring at the front porch as if was something unreal.
"Yeah. Rush in, I'll get the drinks." She watched Parker rush over and press the bell. Opening the backdoor, she noticed her forgotten bag with the drives, then Sam sighed. She wasn't ready to show them to him, anyway. It had been a nice attempt, but she couldn't get herself to do it. There was too much in them. The material in them was too raw or Sam herself was. She wasn't ready to release them just yet. Her soul had been bared in those little pieces of plastic and metal
"Mooom!" Parker shouted, bringing her back. Sam grabbed the few bottles she'd bought. Some fancy champagne and a few sodas for Parker. Just for that night. She finally closed the SUV and headed to Janet's door.
"Sam, come in. Parker is already inside," Janet said, waiting for her by the door.
"Got some drinks," Sam said. Janet grabbed them and waited until she got rid of her jacket.
"You know the way to the kitchen." Janet smiled. Pushing the drinks back to her arms. Sam smiled.
What surprised Janet was to see it was a real Sam smile. One she hadn't seen for over eleven years. She followed her.
"What changed?" Janet asked.
"Huh?"
"You… Smiled…"
"I did. Didn't I?" Sam said, frowning in confusion for a second. "I guess it's the familiarity." She said, sucking her lip.
"Huh." Janet squinted at her. "Can I ask you something? I don't mean to make you uncomfortable and all. So, if it does… don't answer. Okay?"
"Sure. Ask away."
"When you had that accident back in November…" Janet grimaced. "I'd put a request for you to take some Psych evals. I don't know where the paperwork ended up but… I guess since you never…" She waved and took a card out. "Doctor Moore is great, Sam. She has a private practice, in case you don't want people inside of the SGC watching you go to the SGC Psych ward." Noticing Janet's hopeful and worried smile, Sam took the card and nodded. "I know she helped me a lot. You know, with my doubts raising Cass and all the shit we've been through."
"Thanks, I guess. I'm okay, Janet. You really don't need to worry." The smile was genuine, shown from Sam. So Janet nodded, feeling a bit more at ease now with that.
"Anyhow, back then, I couldn't help but to notice the ring in your tags," Sam took a deep breath and got her chain out.
"This one, you mean?" Janet nodded.
"I'm… I'm married." Sam said. "Was that the question?"
"No," Janet said, shaking her head. Sam bit her lower lip, waiting for what it was about to come. "Does he know?"
"He?" Sam frowned.
"Jack."
"Ah. He does," she said. There was a mischievous glint in Sam's eye that confused Janet for a second.
"I don't mean to pry."
"Yes, you do." Sam pointed with a small smile. "But go ahead."
"You both seemed to be getting quite cozy on your birthday. So, I was just wondering if you two finally were connecting again… You know, like before?"
"It's complicated, Janet. Everything around me, it's complicated nowadays. I hoped it would be simpler now, but… Here we are." She said hiding the chain again under her clothes.
"Look, the thing is… I saw him waiting for you for the past eleven years, Sam. I saw him go through every single feeling that your disappearance caused. He never doubted you'd return to him. But now…" Sam chuckled dryly.
"If you want to know, Janet. As the friend you once were to me, I hope this is kept between us."
"Of course."
"He's the only reason I came back. He was the only thing keeping me going on my never-ending quest to return. There were so damn many times when I wanted to let go of everything. That I wanted to end it, so he'd get a chance to rest. So, he would get a chance with her… But I was selfish. I guess I've always been selfish. I've just never acknowledged it. I wanted him for myself. I wanted to get back to him."
"But you're married… What does your husband think about your reasons?"
"We haven't discussed my reasons yet."
"After all this time?" Sam laughed dryly.
"You have no idea, Janet. No idea at all how hard and complex everything is," she huffed.
"Then tell me."
"Tell you what? Everything is out there in the open. Just no one seems to see it." Sam added sadly. She started to walk away from the kitchen before she'd get low again. After all, it had taken her to get feeling better and not quite so blue. She couldn't risk it with Jack so far away.
"Wait," Janet said, making her stop. "You said her… You said a chance with her. Who is her?" She frowned. Sam crooked her head, surprised by this. Parker laughed then, and Sam smiled.
"Isn't it obvious?" Sam shrugged in dismissal. "If I wasn't here. She'd get to know her father," Sam said. Her eyes focused on her daughter. She never saw Janet's widened eyes when she realized what Sam had just confessed to.
Parker was Jack's daughter. How could they all have been so blind?
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
It's not too long after the last time when she comes to find him. He's surprised that she does. He was sure it would take them longer. Take her longer... Maybe at least a month before she would come to search for him again, but he can't kid himself. They were always better at showing things than speaking. She eyes him with this 'fuck me' eyes that he clearly understands clearly.
It's late, and they've been both stuck inside the base since they reached it bright and early Monday morning. Only an hour has passed since the scientists could finally confirm the allergic reaction SG-13 got from a plant, was not something that could get outside. If they left people, how hadn't had contact with it go. Sam was grateful it wasn't on Janet's shift. So, Parker was under Fraiser's care until she could pick her up in the morning, or after school.
While going through the files on her desk, Sam had found the paperwork Janet thought was missing. It seemed it was just her luck because Doctor Moore was stuck with them. So she decided to try. She had found her way to the Psych ward, at the same time Jack had.
"Generals," the airman in charge of keeping the doctor's schedule flinched. They both delivered the same document, a request from Janet for the counseling time. "Doctor Fraiser, said I should go with Doctor Moore?" Sam pointed. The airman nodded. They were three Doctors stuck inside. They'd cleared their schedules for the lockdown.
Doctor Moore seemed nice, concerned, and caring. Sam had really tried to make herself ready to talk and confess all her deep, dark, secrets. To spit it all out and try to fix herself. Eleven years of keeping it inside were heavy on her shoulders. So, she found herself unable to utter a word of what had happened. Selling herself as the sanest of the people. This other persona she had developed over the years was so well-rounded that the Doctor couldn't find a dent in her armor. Yet, it was too perfect.
"Do you know what the introspection illusion is?" The Doctor asked as they rose to their feet. Sam frowned. "Is a cognitive bias that leads people to make confident but false explanations of their own behavior. In this short time, I can't see why Janet thought you'd need therapy, but I can read it in your file. Yet, this won't quite work if you come here and outright lie to me. Especially when it's hard to tell if you are. I get it, you had to learn how to properly believe your lies to survive. Maybe you had some training to keep yourself from showing the physicality of them. I can help you, General, but you have to help me too."
Sam clenched her jaw but nodded. "Maybe not yet, but soon? I'll see you in a couple of weeks?" the Doctor offered to her back, getting another nod.
Sam saw Jack leaving another room, the same weary expression in his eyes. One that told her it hadn't worked for him either. That whatever was bothering him, he hadn't been able to let go either. So, searching for him when they're finally free to leave the base, made sense. She "tried" a Psych and didn't work, and the main issue that kept her grounded in her house was taken care of.
"Sir." She said in that tone. He had to clench his jaw tightly as it sends shivers down his spine, and a surge of need pooling down at his groin. She licked her lips then. He was more than ready to stroll to her side and pull her over his desk and take her right then and there. "I was about to go home," she added, biting her lower lip. "Then I remembered it's empty. It left me wondering…"
"Carter…" Jack let out on a husky tone.
"Care to join me, sir?" She added with a mischievous smile. It was daring, risky even, to let him in her sanctuary, but she wanted him there. She needed him there. Besides, it might be her only chance to get him on her bed. Since his was far easier to access with no one else there.
"You mean?" His pupils dilated and his pulse grew rapidly. "Your ... Hmm… House?"
"Yes, sir."
"Let's go." He said jumping at the chance. She chuckled richly. She had needs, he had needs, but she never thought he would jump so quickly at taking the chance.
They rode the elevator in silence. Tension building up as their hands grazed without connecting. He could feel the heat coming from her and his need growing with every second inside that thin can.
"Oh, thank the Lord!" Jack left out, as the doors finally opened on the ground level. Sam hid a knowing chuckle as they signed off.
"Too long inside, sir?" The airman asked, trying to make small talk.
"You have no idea, airman," Jack said. "Good night, kids. General." He said and walked to his truck as Sam signed out herself.
"Goodnight," she said and walked to her SUV. Jack was already leaving. When she'd barely turned her engine. Shaking her head, amused, she made her way towards home. Somewhere down the road, she noticed him driving behind her. Her heart fluttered.
Not too long later, he parked his truck beside hers and got out. He stopped to grab a duffel bag that he always carried in his truck.
"Came prepared?" She smiled at him.
"Yes, ma'am." He said. She lowered her eyes and licked her lips.
"Good." He stopped her. Grabbing her wrist as she was about to unlock the door to her house.
"Are you sure? I mean… That you want to do this… Here?" Consideration. Permission. Worry. Care. She gulped when she thought she saw something above care too. Without answering, she opened the door.
It was her turn to pull him in and close the door behind him. It was her turn to corral him against the door. It was her turn to get down on her knees and drive him crazy. Until he stopped her.
"Sam…" He husked. Pulling her head away from where he wanted her the most. "If you continue this, I won't…" She winked at him, sitting down on her heels and looking up at him.
"I'm sorry, sir." She sucked her lips. "You look so damn sexy with half your clothes on, sir."
"Don't sir me, Carter." He groaned.
"I believe there aren't any complaints from other parts of your anatomy, sir." She smiled mischievously. He grabbed her a bit too roughly by the neck and brought her up to her feet. He kissed her hungrily, and she whimpered. He pushed her against the wall. He turned her around, her chest pressed tightly against it.
"I swear to God, if you say something about a wall or a door, I'm going to…" he mumbled in her ears as his body molded to hers.
"The next thing better be fuck me so hard that I won't be able to speak, Jack." She said pressing herself against him. He growled, his hands found their way under her blouse. Before she could complain her clothes were off. Then she heard his belt colliding with the floor.
Warm hands were traveling up and down her body as she felt him by her entrance. She pushed back, and he was in. Groans and whimpers slipping from their throats as he settled inside. They didn't know who moved first afterward. All they knew was that she'd reached up. Her hand found its way to his head, bringing his head down so he could kiss her exposed neck. While the other one was pushing against the wall, keeping her in place as she rocked her hips against him.
His hand found purchase on her breast, kneading and playing with it. While the other one found reassurance in the sweetest of the spots. Thrusting in her as if there was no tomorrow. Feeling gloriously proud of being able to make such a smart and powerful woman into nothing but a raw sex Goddess that drove him insane.
"Oh, God." She left out. As her body flushed. He thrust harder and she let out a whimpered 'Jack'. Her walls clenching around him. Legs trembling but still going for more until he reached his peaks inside her. He pressed her against the wall, his legs losing the strength to keep him fully standing.
"Sam…" he whispered. Pressing a kiss on her shoulder. "I think you're the one with a thing with walls." He joked. She chuckled.
"Can you move?" she asked, risking a glance toward him. He nodded against her.
"I hope so…" He whispered, untangling himself. He looked down, his pants still at his ankle. He hadn't taken the time to get all his clothes off. He'd only needed her.
"Awfully clothed." She mumbled, looking at him with desire burning in her pupils. She made a slow show of undressing him. Knowing there wasn't much they would do until they both could get their breath under control. Although, she recalled he had needed little recovery time the last time he had her against a wall in his yard….
"Come," she said, linking their hands and pulling him forward.
"What about?" He asked, pointing towards the pool of his clothes and hers than now lay discarded by her entry door.
"You won't need them."
