Summary: "You could have been something. You could have been someone. But you blew it."-When Hermione Granger finds Draco Malfoy crying in the girls' bathroom, she decides to find out what's wrong. With only the girl who he despises willing to help him, things are going to change. DM/HG. Compliant up to Order of the Phoenix
Mature content and themes, explicit language.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Everything belongs to Ms. JK Rowling.
Chapter 35: Hope
"Harry, do you realize that Hermione isn't back yet? She was absolutely broken, and the both of you just let her go off like that? How fucking brill—"
"Ginny...I think I know where she is."
"Well where is she then?"
"I can't tell you, but I can assure you she's safe."
Hermione's words were having an effect on him. She really made it seem like her...boyfriend was a good bloke.
If he was her boyfriend.
Whenever he asked her about it, she was very vague, and only glossed over it, before changing the topic. She had never specified what exactly they were by using a term.
But it looked to him as though Hermione was falling.
Maybe it was the glazy look she had in her eyes now and then, or the occasional smiles she would burst out into. Maybe it was the way she described him…
Beautiful, she said.
He saw the way his best friend progressively...found herself again over the year. He had remembered how heartbroken she had been in September, when Ron had dated Lavender. She slowly started to care less and less...which must have been the time she got involved with the other guy.
He didn't like the fact that she snuck off like this. He didn't like the fact that he would soon have to break the truth to his other best friend. He didn't like the fact that whatever path she chose to go on, was complicated.
But…
Somehow, Hermione had begun to act more and more like herself recently. All because of the guy she had been seeing.
And if this person could do that for her...he was okay with it. He was grateful that he brought back his best friend. He could trust that she would be safe.
"I'm sorry, Ginny. I really am. But I can't break a promise I made to Hermione."
"It's alright Harry. I understand. As long as she's safe, I don't care about anything else."
Her words caused him to let out a smile, before leaning in to capture her lips with a soft kiss.
"Thank you for understanding."
"No need to thank me. I already know I'm awesome."
"...Dumbledore? Draco—are you serious?"
With a deep sigh, he turned to face her, noticing her turning around.
"Yes."
"Holyshit. That's...that's what they want you to do?"
"Yes."
Fuck.
Everything started piecing itself together, until it finally made sense.
How did she not see it before?
The necklace and Katie had been for Dumbledore. Near the beginning of the year, when he disappeared, he'd been working on this.
Voldemort wanted Dumbledore dead.
But why a sixteen year old boy? Why Draco?
Perhaps as punishment to what his father did. Most likely was.
It took many prolonged moments for Hermione to process the wave of shock that washed over her, as she sat in the moonlight, pressed up against her lover.
"Hermione...what do I do?"
His use of her first name called her to attention, and the raspiness in his voice broke her. He seemed so helpless...so lost.
"What do I do? I don't know how...I can't…"
He hated to admit it, but ever since he has gotten involved with Granger, he had begun to work less and less on his task. For the past month, he accomplished no work at all. She was like a sedative, luring him into a false sense of calamity. Being with her calmed him, and deluded him into believing that there wasn't a problem in the world. Being with her did that.
His voice wavered, as she felt a wetness on the back of her neck.
Tears…
She moved herself to face him, sitting in his lap in a straddling position. She lifted her hand to cup his cheek, wiping away a lone tear drifting down, before leaning down to softly capture his lips with hers.
The kiss was soft, and completely raw. Both poured in months of hidden emotions and feelings, as they gently nipped and sucked. Hermione's tongue ghosted over Draco's bottom lip, before her hands moved to create tracks in his hair.
Softly pulling away, she placed her forehead against his, breathing deeply from their kiss.
Draco rarely showed his emotion like this. He hated crying in front of her. He had always kept his feelings bottled up inside, never letting anyone within his walls.
But on that day, he had allowed Hermione in.
He was completely bare to her, not even attempting to put on a mask. That night, he cried into her hair, as she cooed words of comfort into his ear. He simply poured everything out, telling her everything he possibly could.
And he didn't give a fuck that he shouldn't have.
He cried on Hermione Granger's shoulder, telling her about his mission to kill their headmaster.
Perhaps it shouldn't have, but her half empty words of comfort helped. They really did.
They found themselves in a tangle of limbs once more, once again with their clothes on, in their bed in the Room of Requirement.
The past few days had been extremely difficult for both of them. And through it all...they stuck by one another.
Held one another when they needed it.
Comforted one another when they needed it.
Draco seldom cried in front of others...but on that night, for some strange reason, crying into Granger's hair felt good.
He could trust her with his eyes closed and his hands tied behind his back. Perhaps trusted her the most out of all the people that were present in his life.
He analyzed his disposition, and how he had ended up where he was. How he had ended up being this way with Hermione Granger. What she had seen in him to stay for so long. Why she stayed with him, when Weasley was practically waiting for her, standing there with a key to her perfect life. Yet, he saw her repeatedly push him away, choosing to drown with him instead.
He couldn't bear to think about being without her again. She had gone from a drug to a necessity, and now...something that was important to him. Quite important.
He caught himself staring at her for too long, before looking away briskly. His movement caused her to stir, before opening her eyes herself.
"Did I wake you? Go back to sleep"
"No," she yawned, "it's okay. Draco...we need to discuss this."
"I knew you would say that."
"We have to. You can't just continue like this"
"What do you suggest?"
"Well...I was thinking…we should talk to Professor Dumbledore."
"Granger what the fuck—"
"Seriously! He can help you, Draco. Of all the people in the world, he would be the best to tell right now."
"Granger…"
"Dumbledore cares, Draco. He cares for all of his students. He will get you and your parents out of this. He's the most powerful wizard on the planet."
"And what about Snape?"
"Snape…"
Suddenly, a realization dawned on her.
Harry had been right. And she had been too quick to dismiss him.
Every single time.
Snape was working for them. He was the mole…and he was in the castle.
That meant he could do anything at any given moment…
"Draco we have to tell him! He must know!"
"Granger you realize...if I tell Dumbledore...this is it."
"What do you mean, Draco?"
"It's all over."
"I don't understand."
"I'll...I'll be picking a side. Once I tell Dumbledore...I'm no longer with them."
"When were you ever?" she sighed, moving closer to cup his cheek.
"Your hard exterior displays you to the world as something you are not. The marks on your skin show you to be something you are not. Your name signifies that you believe in something you do not. You are not all these things, Draco. You were never truly on their side in the first place. You were...conflicted. And now, you most certainly are not."
They cherished the few comfortable moments of silence, as Draco absorbed her words like a sponge. His hold on her tightened, as a sudden thought popped into his head.
"Granger...what if we run?"
"...what?"
"What if we run away? We could leave Britain—"
"Draco, what are you talking about?"
"I'm asking you to run away with me, Granger. We can...leave all this behind."
She couldn't help but analyze the implications of his words, as she furrowed her brows. Moving her fingers to stroke his hair, she finally spoke.
"You know I can't do that."
"Why not?
"I can't leave everything behind—"
"You can be with me! We can stay together...we can run together. Away from it all. Away from the war. Away from the darkness. We can live somewhere in the mountains. You said you liked them…"
He trailed off, as he saw her reach down to lace her fingers with his.
"I can't run Draco. I can't leave my friends behind. I can't do that to Harry. I can't do that to Ron. I can't do that to anyone else. This war...it's a war full of hatred, and will only get worse from this point on. I'm a victim in this war, Draco. My kind are the people they want to kill. I have to fight. I have to—"
"Bullshit! You don't have to be noble like that Hermione! Be selfish for once…"
"I'm not doing this for others, Draco. I'm doing this for myself. So that one day, I won't have to hide. So that I won't have to run."
"You can let the others do that for you! Fighting yourself is pointless—"
"They took my mum and dad from me. I...I need to fight in this war for the sake of my sanity. I can never live knowing that...after they killed them, I just ran away like a coward. I need to fight in this war...for their justice. So that no one else has to face the pain of losing their parents."
Her words stabbed him like daggers. They broke him, yet evoked an emotion he couldn't quite pinpoint. It was this fire in her that he sometimes absolutely hated...yet, it was exactly this that made the witch beside him...Hermione Granger.
She wouldn't back down. Never.
"Draco...could you run away from it all, when your parents are still there? When everyone you've ever known and loved is still here? We're all part of this war Draco, and it's our duty to end it. Running away won't do us any good."
"And...and what if we don't come out of this war alive?"
"Then I'll die figh—"
"Again with this noble shit! Granger, you can't die—"
"Well I certainly don't intend on doing so—"
"Then why do you insist on taking part in this suicide mission?"
"What do you mean, suicide mission? You don't believe we can win? You don't believe Harry can kill him?"
"No. Quite frankly, no. We must be practical. They're getting stronger and stronger day by day, and are gaining control of the Ministry very soon. I don't trust Potter to get lucky again like every other fucking time—"
"We have to try. Everything is against us, but we still have to keep trying. Draco...this war is bigger than just you and I. It's bigger than just our families, or Harry and...Voldemort. It's about ending prejudice and getting rid of hatred that has existed for years. It's about creating a better future for the little witches and wizards that will come into the world. It's about creating a reality where people like me can be safe...and looked at as equal to everyone else."
Her words had a ghostly sadness hidden in them, yet contained the fire she always had. Her head was resting on his chest, as she played with their fingers, cherishing their proximity.
"Come with me, Draco. We can talk to Dumbledore. Please."
Her please sounded so achingly desperate, he could never say no.
"Okay."
"Come in."
Their hands entwined, just before they entered, Hermione gave Draco's hand a big squeeze, before finally letting go to open the door.
"Miss Granger, Mister Malfoy. What a pleasant surprise. Come, do take a seat."
Their professor's indifference to their arrival seemed more than a bit odd to them, but nevertheless, they proceeded.
"Yes? I'm assuming you have something to tell me?"
"Yes professor. We do."
"Go ahead, Miss Granger."
She turned to glance at Draco, who's hand tightly squeezed her thigh underneath the table. She reached down to stroke the top of his hand, calming him.
"Professor...Draco...he has…"
"A mission? Given to him by Voldemort, in which he is to kill me?"
They were both completely shocked. She felt Draco snap up in surprise, as she gasped. Dumbledore, however, remained emotionless.
"Professor...how did you know?"
"Oh, I have my sources." he smiled.
"Professor...what should we do?"
Suddenly, there was a twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes. She knew Draco had noticed it as well.
"We?"
"Oh...I meant Draco. What should he do?"
"In my opinion, at the moment, it's best to do nothing."
"I'm sorry professor, what?"
"Simply do nothing."
Suddenly, she remembered something.
"Snape! Professor, Snape is working for them! He—"
"I know."
"You know?"
"Of course."
"Well then...why don't you do anything? Harry could be in danger and—"
"Miss Granger, remember how I told you I have my sources?"
"Your...oh my gosh."
"You seem to have understood what I was trying to relay to you."
Until now, Draco had been silent. This new piece of information, however, got him involved.
"Snape is a spy? For you?"
"He is."
Both took in the information they were being given, each deep into their own thoughts.
"The both of you perhaps aren't aware of the fact that Severus is under the Unbreakable Vow. It was a vow he made to your mother, Mister Malfoy," he said, glancing at Draco through his half moon spectacles.
"Snape...but why? Why is he working for you?"
"Those are reasons I am unable to tell you. Perhaps, one day you will know, Miss Granger. But as for now, I ask that you trust my judgement."
Before taking a moment to absorb the information being given to her, she nodded firmly, before her professor spoke again.
"I might ask you myself...how come the both of you are here together? Don't get me wrong, but most would assume you to be quite an odd pairing."
"Professor we...we—"
"It's okay, Miss Granger. I understand. Young love...has the power to alter things to incredible heights."
They both sucked in sharp breaths, hearing his words.
How had he known about them?
"Professor we—"
"It's okay. I do not expect an answer from either of you. I will not tell anyone either."
Draco sat in silence, twiddling his thumbs, as the corner of his eye caught Hermione nibbling on her lip. Finally, the warm voice of the man in front of him caught his attention.
"Draco...I am extremely proud of you. What you did...what you are doing...it takes an incredible amount of courage. I'm so happy that you were able to open your eyes. I always knew you weren't like them. You have good in you."
His words affected him more than he wanted them to. They echoed back and forth in his head, almost like a poem.
You have good in you.
It somehow...made him feel better about himself. She risked sneaking a glance at Granger, and turned to find her smiling from ear to ear.
"Miss Granger, Mister Malfoy, I would like you to continue the way you were before you came and spoke to me. Do not let Severus know that you know about his little secret, and simply continue the way you are. Everything will fall into place."
"What about my parents? I'm sure you know about the danger they're in? What about them?"
"Well as for that, I was simply waiting on when you would come to speak to me. We can manage to take them to a safe place."
"What are you going to do?"
"Let's just say...I can manage to make them disappear."
"Disappear?"
"They will be taken somewhere safe."
"What about me? Won't they question it if I'm still in Hogwarts?"
"I'm sure Severus can come up with something. He can manage."
He took several moments to think about his Professor's offer.
They would be safe.
It was reliable. It was Dumbledore.
"You can ensure that they will be safe?" he questioned.
"Of course."
"Then do what you must. But I just want them—"
"Excellent, Mister Malfoy. Need not to worry, I will handle this personally."
Under the table, he felt Granger give his hand a squeeze, relaxing him significantly.
"Professor," she finally spoke, "do you need us to do anything else?"
"At the moment, no. Thank you, to the both of you, for being so brave. And Miss Granger—before I forget—you must not tell your friends about this discussion."
"I can't tell Harry and Ron?"
"I would appreciate it if you did not. As of now, this information is best kept a secret, and I know that Harry has a lot going on otherwise as well."
"...okay. I won't tell them."
"Very good. Now...the both of you can head back together, I have to head to a Ministry in a bit for an important meeting."
"Okay Professor. Thank you." said Hermione.
"You are welcome, Miss Granger."
The room was silent for just a few moments, until Hermione made eye contact with Draco. She was gesturing for him to thank Dumbledore as well. Somehow, without even contemplating it, it came out.
"Thank you." he rasped out.
"You are very welcome, Draco."
Perhaps his long beard did a good job of hiding it, but Dumbledore was grinning from ear to ear.
She had a more pronounced effect on him than he had even expected.
"Good night, Professor."
"Good night." he said with a nod.
As he watched his students leave, he noticed every little detail. The way they'd walk closely together, so that their hands brushed against each other. The way Draco would occasionally glance at Hermione, trying to communicate. The way he calmed down under her touch.
It was all so similar...same story, same characters. So many years apart, yet both stories playing out the exact same way.
He hoped theirs had a different ending.
A happy ending, in which both were content.
"Do you really think it'll last?" called a voice from a picture frame behind him.
"I hope it does, Phineas. It must. For the sake of them, and for the world. Change was necessary, and it's evident that it is possible. They embody it."
a/n: finally done the chapter! So many things going on in my life right now, but finally squeezed some time in to WRITE. Hope it's okay!
I'm so sleepy right now, and I don't know why. I have a four day weekend starting tomorrow, so the first thing I'm going to do after posting is take a nice long nap, and then after, begin writing the next chapter. That means you guys might see an update soon.
Maybe you guys can feel it, but the next big "thing" in the story is coming up soon...as for what it is, you have to keep reading to find out!
Barely getting any reviews these days. I'd love it if you left one. They make my day.
Stay safe,
Sydney
