KICKS AND GIGGLES

BRUCE

Before resuming is true identity as Bruce Wayne, he takes two days to rest, relax, and catch up on sleep. Fully rested Bruce goes into the office to take care of business. His latest projects include Wayne Aerospace, a foundation for the homeless of Gotham and a charity event for the Gotham Children's hospital. Bruce is working the room when he spots a beautiful woman. He walks over and clears his throat, she turns to face him, "I do not believe we have met. My name is Bruce Wayne and you are?"

"Diana Prince."

"Commissioner Gordon."

"Bruce."

After a few more words are said, he asks her to dance. "You remind me of this woman I saw from afar ten years ago in China." Bruce says as they dance. He has a feeling she is the same woman, but she hasn't aged.

"Do I?"

"Yes I have a photographic memory."

"My dopple-ganger perhaps."

He smiles, "Perhaps."

"You dance like a warrior." She says.

"Funny I was going to say the same thing about you." As Diana walks away he calls Barbara, "Barbara…"

"Yeah."

"Find out everything you can about Diana Prince."

As the night progresses Bruce mingles and then switches places with Richard and leaves. As Batman he heads for Diana Prince's hotel room and searches it. "Find what you are looking for Batman?"

"Not many people can sneak up on me." He spins around throwing his bat-a-rang, but she catches it and crushes it in her hand. He draws his shock gun and fires a shock dart at her, but she blocks it with her arm band. "Guess I'll have to do this the old fashioned way."

He leaps at her with a flying kick, but she grabs his foot and slams him into the wall. He quickly recovers rolling forward and tries to sweep her leg. She dodges it as he gets to his feet. She dodges every kick and punch. Then she catches his fist and squeezes. "We have danced before haven't we…Bruce Wayne?"

In a last, ditch effort he sprays pepper gas in her face, but it has no effect. She punches him in the gut and down he goes. "Are you finished?"

"Yeah…" He says in pain, "…I'm finished." He replies in his regular voice. Later he is sitting on the floor while she changes clothes in the bathroom. "What are you a Meta-Human or an alien like Superman?"

"Neither…I am an Amazon from Thamyscira."

He frowns, "In Greek Mythology the Island is home to the women the goddess Hera blessed with great strength."

"The Olynpians are not gods. Not in the way you think anyway."

"Why are you in Gotham?"

"I am looking for the Cheetah. My blood enemy. I heard there was a Cat Woman in Gotham so I came to investigate."

"Is this Cheetah human, because Cat Woman is a highly skilled thief."

"No she has features of Cheetah and catlike powers."

The next day Bruce had found where Talia al Ghul is staying. He goes up to her room and knocks, "So you found me."

THE JOKER

For the past few weeks Joker had been working on gadgets, a hat with a blade in the rim, a dagger in his shoe, an acid spitting flower and playing cards with blades in them. He also has a powerful hand-buzzer and exploding marbles. "Now I need an army!" He rents an apartment in a ten, story building in the Heights. Then the Joker calls 911.

"911 what's your emergency?"

"Please send firefighters there is a huge fire!" He hangs up the phone and laughs. The he calls Commissioner Gordon. "Is this Commissioner James Gordon?"

"Yes who is this?"

"Why its me…The Joker and I called because I placed a bomb in city hall…You can evacuate all the even number floors, but not the uneven number floors…I'm tapped into the Camera system and if one person on the uneven floors leaves the building boom! I blow the bomb…Have a nice day…Hahahahahaahahaha!"

"Now wait a minute!"

He hangs up the phone and heads for the Fernwell food and cutlery supply service. The company is owned by Wayne Enterprises and supplies food to Blackgate Prison. Joker captures one of the drivers and places a bomb vest on him. "Alright everyone do as I say and you'll get to go home to your loved ones…Anyone tries to be hero and well…He shoots a man in the head. I have disabled the phones…And I've blocked all cell phone signals…"

As he drives to the Prison the firefighters arrive at the building to find no fire. They enter the building to check for gas leaks and it explodes. When he arrives at the Prison he kills the guards and commands the inmates unloading the trucks to take their guns. He throws his marble bombs into the hallway and they explode killing many guards.

As they make their way to main security station Joker and his new friends takes hostages. "This is Joker…I need an army I decided to enlist you depraved, misunderstood dregs of human society…Those of you who wish to sign up for Joker's army…get your ass to the Cafeteria…Those of you who do not well head for the yard…"

BRUCE

Bruce is having lunch with Talia al Ghul. They eat, talk, and laugh, both having a lot in common. Suddenly his cellphone rings. "Yes."

"Master Wayne its me…Someone called a fire in to 911, when the firefighters arrived there was no fire. They went in and the building exploded."

"Its him…Get things ready I am heading to the warehouse." He hangs up the phone.

"Business?" Talia asks.

"An emergency. I'm sorry we have to cut this short." Bruce signals for the check and pays with his debit card. He drives Talia home, kisses her, and leaves. He heads to the warehouse that is connected to the Batcave.

BATMAN

Bruce puts on his Batsuit, "Alfred!"

"I'm here Master Wayne."

"The fire was a joke. Its him!"

"There is also a bomb threat at Mayor's office. Commissioner Gordon is on sight…He can evacuate even number floors, but not the odd numbers."

Batman drives there in the Batmobile. "Commissioner Gordon!" Montoya says pointing at Batman standing on the roof of another building next to the Mayor's office building. He glides down and smashes through a window. Using his sonar vision Batman finds the bomb. It has a sign on it that says do not open unless you are the Batman. When he opens a spring slams a pie in his face.

"Son of Bitch!"

JOKER

He sits in his chair laughing as he rewinds the recording of Batman being hit in the face with the pie. "I should post this on the internet! Hahahahahahahaa"

A man clears his throat, "Um Boss."

He sighs, "What is it Bob?"

"Sir the men are gathered."

He walks out and looks down on those gathered, "Welcome one and all…Welcome to the Joker's Gang!"

"Why should we follow you!" A voice calls out.

Joker walks down the steps and up to the man, "And who might you be?"

"Falcone…Arnold Falcone…My father was…"

"Carmine Falcone…Your father was taken down by Batman."

"Yeah and what makes you think the Batman won't take you down."

"Like him I got style! I got charisma!." He says pulling on his purple jacket and spinning around

"I got sixty men! My men!"

"Oh well how about we be partners?"

"How about I be the boss and you get the fuck out of here clown." Then he punches him in the face.

"Please don't hurt me…I'll…go…I'll…help me up." He grabs Joker's hand and he starts convulsing as he is electrocuted.

"Let him go clown!" Another man yells pointing a gun at his head.

Joker presses a button on his jacket and squirts acid on the man. He screams shooting wildly. Bob ducks and Joker uses Falcone as a human shield. "Anybody else? I'm in charge here! So don't fuck with me! You two…Clean this up."

Joker's first job is at a Museum. He breaks in at night, kills the guards and steals all the art. He replaces it with stick drawings and pages from coloring books. Then he paints Joker was here on the floor. He robs a bank and kidnaps some children on a school bus, holding them hostage for donuts to be delivered to GCPD central.

Then he plans for his next job. "Boss…"

"What is it Bob?"

"The Catwoman wants to see you."

"Wow! Thee Catwoman…I was starting to think you were a myth."

She is dressed in a black catlike suit, with a whip on her waist. Her legs, thighs, upper arms and chest are padded. She wears gloves with steel catclaws on them. "The Joker or just Joker."

"Whatever floats your boat kitten."

"You broke into the Gotham Crown Museum and stole a painting I was hired to steal. The Vaudant. How much do you want for it?"

"Eight hundred thou."

"How about the eagle's eye ruby? Fair trade."

"I like you Cat, wanna join my gang?"

"I work alone."

"Bob…take the kitty kat to the vault and give her the painting."