Why was she doing this? What thought arrived in her head that made what she was about to do seem like a good idea? She knew what could happen, she'd been victim to it before so why-

Breathe Uraraka, breathe. You know why you're here and right now you have two people who need your help so stop stalling and act like a hero for once.

She moved in resignation as the building loomed overhead, the colorful pink of the sign only adding to the tension in her stomach when she walked into the shop.

The transmitter in her handbag felt heavy, it's weight seeming to make her lopsided with each step. The smell of cinnamon and baked goods smacked her in the face as she moved inside. There were people all around sitting by the little tables dotted around the floor, completely oblivious to the murderer sitting not three meters away.

Near the back of the store, away from any window and closest to the fire exit sat the person she came to meet, the same person who attacked her with a knife, stole her friend away and begged her for help. Uraraka gulped when she saw Himiko notice her immediately and greeted her with a warm smile as she gestured to the other empty seat by her table.

She tried to clear her nerves to no avail when she sat down in front of the killer who was partially done with a bowl of red ice cream.

"Glad to see you're doing alright. I didn't expect you to be the one to call me first but that's fine, I didn't have much to do anyway."

Himiko said with an unearned familiarity as she offered the girl she tired to murder multiple times a menu filled with sweets of all sorts.

"Umm...yeah, I-I just wanted to check up on you after our talk last week and well.."

Uraraka stammered her words that were influenced by the surreal anxiety she had about the whole situation.

"You wanted to talk about that mess Moonfish caused last night."

The killer interrupted as she shoved another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. It earned her a puzzled look from her "friend" that spoke volumes about the confusion in her mind.

"Who's that?"

Himiko blinked, her expression one of mild shock.

"Really? You don't know who he is even after everything that happened in the past two years?"

Uraraka shook her head lightly as she smiled uneasily. Himiko sighed as she wiped the syrup away from her lips.

"You know the weird tall guy who dresses in fetish gear and uses his teeth to fight? He's kinda hard to miss."

Recognition finally shined on the brunette's face that had her put a hand over her mouth to hide a horror induced gasp.

"You mean that guy? No, I haven't heard anything, none of us have and there hasn't been a report made about him."

The blonde paused for a moment, her eyes shifting to the ceiling as if to contemplate the value of the response.

"Seems like the cops are just covering up anything that goes against the narrative now. Can't say I blame 'em though, even I'd freak out after seeing what the gimp did to those people."

Uraraka raised her eyebrows in alarm. What on earth could scare someone like her? She leaned in closer to her host and whispered as quietly as she could.

"What'd he do?"

Himiko chuckled as she shoved another bite into her now red maw.

"Trust me, you don't wanna know."

A shudder went down the heroine's back at the mirth in the girl's voice. She shifted in her seat as Himiko continued to eat, a slight pleasure in her eyes at Uraraka's discomfort.

"So...that aside, you are doing better, right?"

She shrugged, dropping the spoon into the empty bowl as she did.

"Depends on how you define that, I still feel like hell most days and to be honest I've started to...miss him for more than his company, but you gave me something to think about which helps from having me drift back into old habits."

Uraraka raised another eyebrow.

"Old habits?"

Himiko looked away for a moment before reluctantly returning her gaze.

"Wanting to be someone else to escape the pain. I've always used that to cope with my issues and I've seen what that got me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not neglecting my needs for...certain types of liquid, but now it's become more of a thing to pass the time instead of an outright addiction, though I don't really know because I keep downing over a gallon a day of the stuff."

A hand rested on the back of the gravity quirk user's neck as her expression became one of even more unease.

"Glad I could help, but do you wanna talk-"

She stopped mid sentence as Himiko glared murderously at her for a moment before shutting them with a sigh.

"Sorry, still getting used to this whole "opening up" thing."

Uraraka forced a laugh out in an attempt to ease the tension in her chest.

"That's fine, at least you're trying, but if you don't want to talk about that then what do you want to talk about? I'm all ears."

Himiko stared silently at her for a minute, the feline pupils dilating strangely until at last she spoke.

"Do you love Bakugou?"

A mad blush spread over the brunette's face at the sudden question.

"What!? Why would you ask that?"

The killer's expression became disturbingly void of emotion as she responded.

"Because the more I think about Izuku and what he meant to me, what he made me feel, the more I notice the difference between him and all my other crushes and how I felt about them."

Uraraka stared back when the blonde continued talking.

"I mean, he was always special from the first time I saw him but when I was around him, the way he made me feel and just what he evoked in me was so...strange. Everyone that I ever loved...thought I loved I mean, made me want to see them hurt and that sense wouldn't really go away until I did the deed but at the same time it never really happened until after I got to know the person."

She sipped from a cup of water that was next to the bowl and began to look almost frightened.

"It would always end the same, with me doing that horrible thing and then the feeling would go away but then I'd feel awful about what I did, but Izuku was different. The feeling started to go away the more I got to know him and overtime I felt something new towards him that I can't explain."

Uraraka allowed herself to speak in spite of better ideas.

"Well maybe try explaining it to me, I mean that's what I'm here for after all."

Himiko smiled softly at that before lowering her voice.

"I...I didn't want to see him die. Every other time with every other person, I just wanted to know everything about them and become them until I couldn't. I saw these images in my head of them bleeding out with me holding the knife, but with Izuku the worst I wanted to see from him was maybe a light slash across the chest. And it was just so.. weird with him because he let me do that. I asked him for blood so I could become him and he'd just smile and give it without hesitation and he would actually spend time with me, I never had to pretend around him and the longer we were together, the more I wanted to stay by his side and make sure nothing could hurt him. The thing that keeps me up is how strong that feeling was, compared to what I felt before and it was brand new to me, it scared me with how much it drove me like a machine to just be next to him and now I feel even worse then when I lost a crush."

Uraraka leaned back in her seat with a hand resting on her chin, considering what she heard.

"Could you tell me what made you have these crushes or what was common about them all?"

The slasher bit her lip as the memories flooded back.

"I wanted to be like them, I looked up to them because they were so perfect. They had perfect lives with everything just right. They didn't have problems or bad things or issues and I wanted to be like them. I wanted to cut them up so they knew how I felt and it felt good to do it. I'd always do after talking to them for a while, I'd wear disguises so they wouldn't know the real me but I was always so angry for some reason until I managed to do it."

Her knuckles cracked at the faces mocking her in her mind

"It wasn't because someone was in my way or anything like that, I was just angry for a reason I never could understand and it never went away until it happened and then I'd be so happy, but it went away just as quickly. I never had that with him, I was never angry after talking...well that's not completely true but you know what I mean and the joy was way stronger, especially after he let drink his blood."

Uraraka poured herself a glass as the sensation of fear lessened at the vulnerability in the villainess.

"I think you're confusing envy and hate with love, Himiko. You physically can not hurt something you love and you said you never felt that urge around Izuku, so maybe he was the first person you actually loved instead of envied."

Himiko blinked for a moment then turned her focus onto the purse in the seat next to her. She fumbled around inside and pulled out a notepad and pen from the bag in a longer time then most would assume needed. She flipped to a blank page and wrote down multiple lines of text while, to Uraraka's surprise, muttering to herself. When that was done, she looked back at the hero to be in astonishment.

"That...that's it! I never loved any of them, I just wanted to be them to escape being myself and Izuku was the first person who ever truly loved me for me."

Uraraka couldn't help but to smile a little bit, proud of what she had done for the girl.

"Maybe, I mean I'm no shrink but I have my moments."

That earned a laugh from the blonde.

"You sure do."

The silence that came after was far lighter and altogether friendlier, then it paused when Himiko bit her lip again.

"Can I ask you something about one of the students at UA?"

A sudden tenseness came with the question that Uraraka had trouble letting go when she asked a counter question.

"It's about Neito, isn't it?"

The blonde nodded sheepishly.

"So I guess the cat's out of the bag on that one. Yeah, I haven't seen him in years since I...you know, and I just wanna know how he's doing."

The other girl relaxed her posture at her assumption being right. If the answer had been anything else, then she would have probably had a heart attack.

"He's fine, a bit weird and more than a little annoying with a narcissistic streak, but he's fitting in well enough and doing good as a hero, last I heard he managed to get signed up with a few hero agencies for a work study."

Mirth returned to the killer at the mention of her kin, it was a bubbly sort that made Uraraka smile at the infectious warmth radiating from the other girl. That lessened somewhat at the sight of her still red fangs.

"I always knew he'd make it. That's my little Nene for you, doing the hardest things and still being himself. Tell me, has he hooked up with that Battle Fist chick yet or are they not there yet?"

The brunette flinched at the question, taken aback by the bluntness of it.

"Umm...I don't know, he's never really shown any interest in romance and at best they seem more like close friends if I'm being generous."

A hand rested on Himiko's chin as a slight blush overtook her pale features that had shifted into a more unsettling smile which had Uraraka wishing for the murderous one since she knew how to handle it.

"Sure you'd think that, but he has the same blood flowing through his veins that I do and if I know what that does, which I do, then he's probably confessed already. I could tell by how she hung around him during your little party crash a few months back that she had a thing for him."

Brows knitted together on the heroine's forehead at the ridiculous claim made by the slasher.

"Or maybe she wanted to be there for a classmate who had to come face to face with his own sister for the first time in years after she became a serial killer during a raid into a hideout filled with villains."

Himiko's expression changed at once. It wasn't one of anger or malice or even embarrassment, it was the look of someone who had no idea about the reaction of their peers and why it happened.

"Eh, I don't buy that, the way her eyes stayed glued to him clearly showed she loved him."

Uraraka's face remained fixated with mild anger that grew to the point that the pitcher she was handling began to float from her resting a pinkie finger on it.

"You can't assume everyone is in love with someone else just because of a one time glance at their face."

The smile returned to the blonde with a vengeance that brought a deep pink hue to her cheeks. She ran a finger over the scar on her hand and traced a finger over her lips, apparently lost in some memory.

"The way she looked at him was the exact same way Izuku looked at me when we did stuff like that, danger brings people closer than almost anything. I should know, after all a situation like that is how I managed to get what I wanted."

Uraraka had to hold back the urge to slap the girl.

"Don't make light out of the things you and your friends did back at the training camp, I still have the scar from that night."

Himiko's grin only grew and her blush deepened.

"I wasn't talking about that, I'm referring to something more...primal if you will."

The statement didn't quite register with the student as she blinked for a moment before realising what it meant. She leaned back with a hand over her now crimson cheeks. Himiko chuckled at the reaction and kept going deeper into her history.

"See, Izu-kun and me were busy taking care of these guys who had been pushing Trigger, long story short, we kicked their asses, but somehow they managed to light the place on fire and it had spread pretty damn far. Izuku wanted to get the heck out, which was the smart thing to do, only I wasn't thinking logically at the time."

She cradled her head in her hands as she got lost in the memory.

"He was just so amazing with all that blood and sweat covering his body that I just wanted to bite him. I remember his expression, it was so sweet and kind with these little traces of fear hiding behind his bravery and that's when I couldn't stop myself. I pushed him down and well… yeah. It was a brief thing but the night got better once we reached a hotel."

Again Himiko's expression shifted, this time to one far more uncertain as she put a thumb to her mouth and bit down lightly

"That was the night I learned just how much I meant to him. It was after we finished and I was laying in that bed, feeling oddly empty after getting it out of my system and I wanted nothing more than to have him hold me, to make me feel warm and he did. He scooped me up and squeezed me like a teddy bear."

The villainess' eyes grew distant, not staring at anything other than the past.

"He ran a hand through my hair and snuggled up to me and he...he thanked me for being so wonderful."

There was a crack in her voice that didn't go unnoticed by the hero to be.

"He said that he loved me for being by his side and never letting him give up, that he was grateful to me for making him strong."

Her hands now rested on her legs as her head lowered slightly with a tremor coming on as she spoke.

"He said all that, he knew exactly what I was and he still said all that, he even said he wanted me to meet his mom and…"

Himiko looked up at Uraraka with tears forming in her eyes that she wiped away with a napkin while the witness watched without judgement.

"I...do you wanna know something? I have never been as scared as after I heard him talk to me like that. It made me feel...like I should run away and never talk to him again. I can't explain it, but it was like a great big mouth opened up and swallowed me that showed everything horrible I've ever done. I was there in his arms and I wanted nothing more than to run so I could get that feeling gone."

Her hands started to move to her messy hair and grip the scalp.

"I saw every little thing wrong with all at once in that moment and I realised something, I didn't deserve him, not when I had done so much bad and it was like I was this...this horrible insect that was nestled up against a lion for warmth. He had done so much good and he saw the same in me, expected the same from me and it hurt more than anything else because I knew I couldn't ever live up to him, be completely as heroic as him when my whole existence depends on-"

A hand rested on Himiko's forearm that brought down her rant.

"But you try and that's what counts. Deku knew about your issues and he saw the potential you have and he was right, otherwise you wouldn't be trying to get better."

Himiko nodded with the sorrow leaving her face.

"You're right, he wouldn't want me moping about, but it's still hard you know. I had the entire world in my hands and I threw it away."

A pause came from the villainess as her eyes lingered on one of Uraraka's ears, guilt playing behind the golden amber. A short tune came from where her fingers tapped the table in a way that seemed habitual, then it stopped as one of her hands reached for a place near her neck that Uraraka could vaguely see the outline of teeth marks.

"Do you mind if we take this somewhere else? I wanna ask you a difficult question."

Himiko said as her fingers hovered over her neck for a moment before being placed on the handbag she brought.

"You promise nothing weird is going to happen like last time?"

She shook her head.

"No, I...I think you might know how to answer this better than anyone else since it's about our first...talk. The one where I paid your family a visit."

Uraraka held her gaze, pity completely gone from her eyes. It hardened as the memories of what happened first, then her expression changed to one of shock.

"Himiko, you can't mean you're-"

The villain shook her head as a far more embarrassed blush came over her.

"No, no, I just...I just think you should know exactly why I did what I did and maybe you can help me figure out where the hell I went wrong."

The pair of girls stared at each other uncomfortably for a time before they both made a silent exit from the store. It was getting late with the sun dipping low into the horizon, a fact Uraraka found horrifying considering who she was next to, but thankfully they walked towards UA and not further into the city. Then suddenly they turned into an alley when Himiko stepped and motioned for her to follow, which she did not.

A knife was pulled from a coat pocket and handed to the brunette, then when that changed nothing, four more came from her waistband, along with two syringes filled a blue liquid, one long metal spike that has a triangular tip from a tube sock, a small taser that was nestled in her chest and a machete that she somehow pulled from her back.

Then she tossed her handbag at Uraraka's feet and walked in without waiting for the hero to respond. Uraraka stared at the amount of weapons in her arms, this was at least three years of jail time alone for unlawful possession of a destructive device and another five for carrying it in public on top of the concealment charge that totalled to a decade in prison. A shudder ran through her spine, where the heck was this leading to? First it was not informing her teachers about the kidnapping, then she went by herself without telling anyone who she was going to do and now she had lethal weapons in her hands that all had a speck of blood on them.

What was she-

A sigh came from her as she wrapped a hand around the tools and marched after the person who needed her help. Time to be a hero, Uravity.

The trek was slow, meticulous and nerve racking as she tried to find Himiko. The killer had all but disappeared into the narrow slot between buildings, bringing an image of that horrible smile as she grabbed her from the shadows and stuck a knife in her neck. Shaking the thought from her mind Uraraka continued down the surprisingly long path that grew colder the deeper she went. If she hadn't known better, she would have thought that the entrance to the underworld was ahead. Wood grain contacted her fingers as she started to grip the handle of the machete, a twelve inch chopper with a grinded end that was perfect for sticking people with the recurve point if the blood coating was any guess. She loosely held it, not fully committing to the weapon nor completely discarding it as she kept moving through the concrete space.

This was hell, plain and simple. A cold, barren place with no warmth or humanity ever being there to start with. Misery was the only thing it offered as the wind dug in and cut the individual to the bone with the cold that struck out like a whip from above. It was a lonely, scary place that had her wishing for anyone to be next to her, to acknowledge her, to give her anything to distract from the sensation this place gave and she got her wish granted.

Curled up against the very end of this portal was the sole other occupant of this horrible place. All the danger, hate and malice associated with this person was gone. Instead, what was kneeling with her head peeking up at her was a scared, heartbroken girl that all but begged for help, a chance to leave this purgatory and walk in the warmth of life.

This was where she belonged, where she was trapped and she had brought her here to give a confession, not for forgiveness, but simply to free herself of it.

Uraraka towered over her with the machete still in her hands and for an instant, a mere moment, she could see the blood that would splatter the walls, the sound that would echo in her ears forever and the look in those helpless golden eyes if she simply struck down.

Blinking the idea away, she sat at the opposite wall and put the weapons next to her lap while making sure to keep that blade far from her grasp. The girls remained silent for a long time that only made their breathing bounce off the rapidly darkening walls as the chill made the heat from their bodies visible. Himiko took the chance when she cleared her throat and broke the quiet.

"I did all that, the kidnapping, the lies, using you and Bakugou and putting everyone through hell, because I wanted Izuku to get me pregnant. I wanted him to kill Bakugou because of one fuck up or another and then when he was broken, completely broken by letting his hope for the past die with that exploding fuck head, I'd whisper in his ear that maybe, just maybe we'd be better off with just the two of us. No more heroes, villains, none of that. It'd be us living a normal, happy life with a bright future and a baby that would keep us together even during the hardest times and then we could make amends for the things done to us by raising a great person that would help the world."

Her hands wrapped tighter around her knees as the explanation went on.

"I knew how fucked up it was, that I was going to hurt him more than anyone else had, but I thought it'd be worth it for us both. I...I thought that we could walk away from this stupid game and be happy if I pushed that little bit more. I risked so much, hurt so many people and all it did was ruin the happiness I already had. My plan was that if Izuku became too damaged to fight and I had a baby on the way, then Tomura would just let us leave and become silent partners to his stupid plans. He'd write up the notes or whatever Tomura needed and I'd be a spy for the league after our baby was old enough to not need me too much until we managed to break away by losing our edge."

The hands remained unmoving, but her eyes became horrifying in a way Uraraka never thought possible by the desperation in them.

"I had all my hope on that one chance. My future, my reason to not off myself, everything. I had one shot and it never would have worked, but that never stopped me. I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I would have to pay for my sins, all I wanted was what was supposed to come after our lives started. I even knew the house we would live in and all the costs it would take to get it."

Uraraka watched as Himiko stared at her with tears gone from her abnormally uneasy gaze. She didn't know what to say. A part of her wanted to slap the girl for acting so malicious and yet at the same time she wanted to hug her until it was all better. She inhaled and found her answer.

"Then keep going. Keep finding a reason to live and forget about some warped image of what you think your life would be like and start living your life. Himiko, I'm not going to lie, you're an awful person and part of me wants to hit you, but I can see what Izuku saw in you. You have good in you and that alone is worth living for because that means you can fix things."

She shifted her body against the stone as she continued.

"You'll never have the same relationship with him and maybe that's a good thing. You knew it was bad for him to be involved with the League and your solution was to have him kill his childhood friend so he'd be too messed up to fight. You aren't ready to be with him because you don't love yourself enough to do what you know is right. Himiko ask yourself how he'd react to hearing you died? That would hurt him more than anything."

The slasher stood up on her shaky legs as the cold night air blew into the alley, a look of anguish on her face.

"But...But, how do I get better? How do I stop hating myself?"

She asked in a whisper that was pathetic while at the same time being dangerous in the low lighting.

Uraraka stood to meet her.

"Do you love him? Do you really love Izuku and want to be better?"

She nodded.

"More than anything."

A soft, pink fingered hand landed on her shoulder with a smile that seemed angelic in this place.

"Then you have to love yourself before you can love another. Be the Himiko that you want to be, the one you can be proud of, the one you want Izuku to be with and how you become that is to follow your conscience. Never do anything you know is wrong and then you'll slowly start becoming that part of yourself you know is worthy of being loved."

Coldness vanished from the world as arms wrapped themselves around her torso and pulled her close into a hug while a wet sensation touched her cheeks.

"I can do that...I...I swear to you that I will."

Himiko said as Uraraka returned the embrace and held the villain close until she released her hold on the heroine when a phone rang. She looked down at the burner phone and smiled.

"Sorry Uraraka, I'm way past my curfew and Giri has been keeping us all on a tight lease after Moonfish's field trip, but...thank you. Really, thank you for just being honest with me."

Steel and plastic returned to the girl's hand and disappeared into her clothing in the blink of an eye as she looked at the crime fighter like she was a trusted sister. It hurt, oh god did it hurt. Why did she just have to act like that and not like the psycho that everyone thought she was? Why-

Uraraka closed the distance and hugged the villain once more.

"I believe in you, you're more than your mistakes Himiko and when you get there I'll be right next to you in spirit, but I'm begging you that you promise me one thing."

She felt something wet come from her eyes as the blonde's expression became one of disbelief.

"Anything, name it and I'll do it."

The wetness came more and more with a pain from her eyes which made it hard to breathe.

"Please don't kill anyone ever again unless you absolutely have to, if you feel like you're about to snap or you need blood or just anything like that, call me and I swear I'll help you through it but I can't keep doing this if you just keep hurting people for no reason."

Himiko was silent for what felt like forever, but eventually she spoke.

"I..I can't promise you that. I have to be violent or I'll lose what little bit I have left…,but I swear on my life that I'll be better, that I will be able to make you proud and that I can repay your kindness one day once I get there. That I can do."

Uraraka smiled even though it hurt.

"Then I can accept that."

Himiko returned the sentiment for a few seconds before a warp gate materialized on the space next to her. Shaking her head, she pulled out a thick stack of bills wrapped in a rubber band and handed it to the heroine.

"For your parents and you for doing all this."

She walked over to the portal and turned to the girl who forgave her.

"Thanks again Cheeky, I'll see you later ok?"

That was all Himiko said as she was swallowed by the anomaly, leaving Uraraka alone in that hellish alley to reflect on what happened and the weight in her hand.

It was a small transmitter no larger than a coin that could track any target once it was attached and in that moment it weighed as much as the world to her. She allowed herself to gauge it while the sensation of what she'd done attacked. It was those brief moments that would define her forever and by extension her future as a hero.

She held it in the palm in her hand and in that she knew the right thing to do. It fell to the concrete covered ground and then with a heavy stomp, it was shattered.