The sound of his deep chuckle stirs in her chest and she cannot possibly contain the smile stretching into her cheeks. Making him laugh has to be one of her most favorite things about their relationship. Warmth is swallowing her whole, but she's content, she's happy. She rests her head back, her neck rolling to the side to admire the stunning grin that consumes his entire face and persuades her heart to skip merrily along. He reaches and she doesn't necessarily feel the contact, but she sees the way he grins as he brings her knuckles to his lips and presses a gentle kiss. He lingers, his eyes drifting away from whatever lies ahead to meet her gaze and flash her one wink.
She feels so utterly loved and she knows her heart is full, but something like panic is festering in her gut.
She blinks, her eyes trailing back to find out what's ahead, only to be blinded by the headlights shining on the other side of the road. An eerie sensation crawls down her spine and demands that all the little hairs on the back of her neck stand to attention. Her heart starts racing and she knows something is wrong. Something is so terribly wrong and she's screaming at herself to stop the madness.
Wake up.
The sound of crunching glass echoes all around her...
Please wake up.
Her body feels weightless, hazardously tossed around like a rag-doll and she feels the need to protect herself, to find some control and brace herself from whatever is about to occur. Her hand shoots up, moving all on its own to plant her palm against the roof of the car. She doesn't necessarily feel the crack that echoes through the air, but she knows she should be feeling a violent pain in her wrist.
Wake up.
One, two, three. Wake up!
Regina flings forward in bed, gasping for her next breath as her fingers curl around her right wrist to check for any damage. The dream...the memory still so vivid and haunting in her mind. It's been one month since the cast was taken off her arm and for some reason, the memories of what had happened to cause the break in the first place, have been coming back more clearly now.
One month.
The cast came off two days before she met Emma Swan. Obviously, she's still grieving and she will never admit this out loud, let alone to herself, but that woman flipped her world upside down. Her dark and dreary world, made up of stormy grey clouds and swirls of black, but when she saw Emma in that restaurant, she was taken back by the splash of yellow, the dash of red, and the pop of green.
Her world started to produce color once again.
Except, she hasn't spoken to the woman since that day, because she knows she can't use the blonde as a crutch to heal her broken heart, just because she possesses her husband's heart. That woman owes her nothing and she's lucky that Emma even allowed her one last opportunity to hear and feel Naveen's heart once again. However, she aches all over, itching to speak to the stranger again. Every day she has to fight against her instincts to not reach out and disturb the blonde's life. Emma needed a heart, not a lonely widow to come along with the package.
"Hey, sis," Zelena's voice startles her from those conflicting thoughts, forcing her wet eyes to dart toward the doorway where a mess of ringlets linger. "You're up, good. How about some breakfast?"
"When are you and mother going to move out?" She bitterly snarks.
"When your nightmares stop or when you decide to finally go speak to someone about them," Zelena fires right back, her sharp eyes narrowing to where Regina is still clutching her damaged wrist.
"I'm fine," she vacantly replies, dropping her wrist and tossing the covers away to head downstairs for breakfast.
Well, she doesn't eat much lately, but she could really use a strong cup of coffee.
"Regina, you've been through a lot. Nobody is judging you, nobody will look down on you for speaking to a psychiatrist. You need help, you can't go on like this. You're miserable."
"Well excuse me, I didn't know that grieving the love of my life has an expiration date."
"It doesn't and that's not what I'm saying," Zelena exasperates, chasing the brunette down the stairs and into the kitchen. "It's going to take a really long time and you will probably always miss him, but you need some help to get to a place where you feel somewhat better. And don't switch my words around, I'm not saying you'll be back to normal and skipping around-"
"I never skip."
"No shit," her sister deadpans. "All I'm saying is you need to get out of this funk and start to live again."
Regina whirls around to face her sister head on with a glint of sarcasm twinkling in her eye. "You're right, I need to move on and that's why I am meeting Kathryn and her husband today to sell the firm."
"What?" Her sister shrieks, but Regina spins back around like she didn't hear a damn thing and begins preparing her coffee. "I thought mom and I talked about this with you. You need more time, you shouldn't rush into-"
"I'm not rushing into anything," she explodes, angrily jerking the coffee pot out to fill with water. "It's been three months since the accident. I'm done. I don't want to be a lawyer anymore. I don't want anything to do with the firm. Dammit Zelena, I haven't stepped foot into the office since before the accident. I am done," she firmly declares, pouring the water into the maker and shoving the pot back onto the burner with all her pent-up anger.
"And what are you going to do with the rest of your life, huh? You are forty, you have at least another forty years."
Regina inhales sharply, her eyes cast down as she debates with herself if she should reveal her secret or not. Then again, she hasn't found the motivation yet, to open up to anyone again after her husband's untimely passing. She knows she's purposely pushing people away, so she can distance herself and maybe she won't feel as much when she loses them too. Subconsciously, she knows it's ridiculous, but she's in such a dark place now, she really doesn't give a fuck.
"I don't know," she murmurs. "But I will have plenty of money from the firm until I figure out what I want to do."
"It won't be enough to retire early."
"I know," is all Regina mutters before she scurries upstairs to shower while the coffee brews and to officially end another argument with her family.
XXXX
She really didn't think it would be this hard to sell something that is so tarnished by her husband's death, but they built this firm together. So many hours, so many late nights in the office, but neither one cared because they were always by each other's side. She thought it would be simple, sign her name, end the weight that feels tied to her feet, dragging her further and further down into the ocean of memories where she's drowning day in and day out.
"Regina?" Kathryn, her best friend, whispers, snapping her back to the now and encouraging her hand to scribble the last signature necessary.
"There," she announces, setting down her pen and leaning back against her seat to allow the lawyer to take the paperwork.
It was all very amicable, she is selling her company to her oldest friend and in order to pay the amount requested, Kathryn will continue to pay Regina each month as if she works there, until she is completely bought out. As the figures where placed out before her, she did note that she could live off that amount until retirement if need be. However, she needs something to fill her days and she does have the perfect idea in mind.
"Regina," Kathryn softly says to gain her attention as the lawyers and even her husband, Fredrick, leave the conference room. "Are you alright?"
"I am," she breathes out confidently, her gaze wandering out to the Manhattan skyline just outside the floor to ceiling windows.
It's the end of March, still a bitter bite to the air, but the sun is shining brightly today, attempting to warm up her cold and lonely world. Everything is still so...dull. So grey. And so very cold.
"Would you like to go grab some lunch?"
"I can't," she politely declines, her face as impassive as ever and she knows her best friend can see how broken she still is three months later. "Actually, I have plans," she clarifies to help ease Kathryn's worries as they both stand to exit the room.
"Alright, well, how about this weekend? I can use a little break from the weekend madness," Kathryn chuckles and Regina sadly smiles, remembering the rush of it all and how she didn't even care that she was wasting her weekends with work.
"Of course, that would be great," she says, but her voice doesn't express the excitement she's trying to portray.
With that, Kathryn walks her out of the building. They hug one another and she even offers Fredrick a small wave before he tucks his wife into his side and they head for the train. Regina peeks at her phone in her pocket and just as she's reading the time, the device starts to buzz.
She does smile in response.
"Well hello, dear."
"Hey! So, we are at Doughnut Plant. You're still gonna meet me, right?"
"Of course."
"Okay, good. See you shortly!"
"I will see you soon."
Regina smiles and ends the call, but before she can stuff her phone back into her peacoat, she notices a new email. Ever since she stopped showing up to the firm, the emails have dwindled down to almost nothing, so she is surprised to see a new message. She quickly opens the email, her feet still shuffling through the busy streets of New York like they are trained to do. That is until she reads a stranger's name that sets her heart on fire. She quickly scurries toward a building to step out of the way of traffic and so she can read the email closely.
Hey Regina!
I really hope all is well with you and your family, hopefully mommy dearest isn't sleeping with you anymore. Lol I'm sorry if this seems forward, I know we haven't spoken since we met and I don't know how you feel about that. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you, that's not my intention, but I have a question about Naveen and I was hoping if maybe you could answer it for me? If you don't feel comfortable just close this email and don't respond and I won't reach out again.
But if you are curious, so am I. I was wondering if Naveen had a sweet tooth? I don't know if you remember, but my parents were really strict with my diet and I never really ate sweets. Lately, I'm craving sweets, like a lot...a lot. That's all I want to do, just pig out on sweets and I feel like I'm craving something, but I have no idea what it is. So, if you could let me know, maybe you can pinpoint what my tongue is watering for? Lol
Thanks!
Emma
Regina's hands slowly move the phone away from her line of sight while her head falls back to peer aimlessly up at the sky. Her eyes must be watery, because everything is a messy blur. And she hasn't the slightest clue if she's crying at the thought of her husband's silly cravings making themselves known in this strange woman or because she hadn't known how much she missed a simple conversation from a stranger?
Her heart is pounding and she's sure the tears are leaking down her face now, and she probably looks like a crazy woman crying in the rush of New York, but she quickly pulls the phone back to her face. She allows her fingers to move all on their own, her mind knowing exactly what she wants to say.
XXXX
"I'm telling you, this place will satisfy all your sweet tooth needs," Ruby vows, linking her arm through Emma's and guiding her through the bustle of New York, where every person seems to be on their lunch break at the moment.
And Emma cringes, still worried about germs lingering in the air.
"I'm not buying everything, I just need a little something to settle down this craving," Emma laughs, snuggling in closer to her best friend and admiring the simple fact that they are allowed to be in public together again. She survived.
"That's so weird, I can't believe you are craving sweets, you never."
"That's because I never knew what I was missing."
"Did you talk about it with your mom? Did she turn into the Beast and threaten to lock you away in your dungeon?"
Emma shoves her friend away, but they are both grinning from ear to ear, soaking up the moment and the little sun that's struggling to warm up the bitter air.
"She was fine, but she did remind me..."
"Everything in moderation," they both sing-song together because who knows how many times Mary Margret has chanted that throughout the years.
Together, they roll their eyes like they did when they were ten and giggle along. Ruby's head tilts back, her eyes shimmering against the sun as she reads the sign and tugs Emma closer. The brunette opens the door for her and then follows behind, both immediately stepping into line.
Emma picks her head up to read over the enormous menu on every wall behind the counter. It's rather busy this afternoon, but there is a distinct sound that catches her attention and inspires her heart to do this little happy dance.
The sound, Regina Mills' rich and husky laugh.
Green eyes drop down from the menu above to scan the area, where sure enough, she finds the beautiful woman standing two people in front of her, with a baby in front of her chest. Those plump lips are spread wide as she playfully nibbles at the chubby fingers grabbing at her face. Emma's positive her heart stutters and in a lame attempt to kick start it again, she swallows thickly.
"I'll be right back," she mutters so quietly that Ruby doesn't exactly hear what she says, but she notices her walking away.
"What?"
Emma ignores Ruby, her eyes solely focused on the woman she's been dreaming about for four weeks now. A woman she definitely emailed fifteen minutes ago about her silly cravings and she was sure she would never hear from, let alone see again. Yet, there she is, as stunning as ever, especially when she smiles so freely at an adorable baby. Her heart suddenly feels heavy because her mind is tripping over the idea that Regina and Naveen had a baby, that couldn't be more than a year and a half old.
"Regina?" Her eyes almost flutter closed from her own mortification because why did her voice have to crack like that?
The brunette flinches, obviously lost in the moment with the baby and wasn't expecting anyone to approach her.
"Em-Emma?"
"Hey," she sheepishly says, her hands gesturing in the confines of her red leather jacket.
"Hey."
A woman with strawberry-blonde hair whips around abruptly, her crystal sea-green eyes instantly drawn to Emma, assessing her intently. Emma swallows again from the scrutiny.
"Uh-hey," she stammers again like a fool, her eyes flicking back to the baby who is trying to steal Regina's attention back. "Ummm...is this your-"
"Oh no," Regina chuckles and Emma breathes out a sigh of relief. "If she was, I would have had a lot of explaining to do." Emma quirks up one eyebrow curiously while the other blonde laughs and steals the baby away from Regina's arms. "My husband was black," she deadpans, prompting Emma to assess the blonde hair, blue-eyed baby more closely.
"Oh," Emma chuckles, now understanding the joke. "Yeah, you definitely would have had some explaining to do."
"This is my niece, Robin, and her daughter, Hunter."
"Hi, nice to meet you...Emma was it?" Robin smirks, offering her free hand as Emma is already accepting the gesture.
"Hey, yeah, nice to meet you too."
"Next!" The kid behind the counter calls out, provoking Robin to rush forward to the counter.
"I should probably get back to Ruby," Emma announces, nervously hooking her thumb over her shoulder and blushing profusely from how awkward she is acting.
"Oh, of course," Regina replies with a very political smile plastered across her face and for a split second, Emma is sure this woman is disappointed.
"Good to see you," she blurts out, her feet already shuffling backwards.
"You too, Emma," and dear god, does she love the way her name sounds purring from that sexy woman.
She offers a crooked little grin, her feet continuing to back away until she's right beside Ruby once again. She breathes out heavily, like she was holding her breath the entire time, well, she probably was around that goddess. She is sure she just blacked out for a moment and her body was moving on autopilot.
"Dude, Regina is here? What a small freakin' world."
"I know," Emma murmurs, her fists clenching in her pockets as she tries to calm the prickly nervous energy rippling through her system.
"Next."
Emma peeks through her thick lashes, observing as Regina follows her niece to a nearby booth, where they set the baby into a high-chair at the end. Her mind is jittery and impatient, wondering if the brunette had seen her email, and ignored it, or if maybe she hasn't had an opportunity to check her phone.
"Why are you bouncing?"
"I'm not bouncing," Emma grumbles, stopping herself from bouncing.
"Yes, you are," Ruby laughs at her, those glowing eyes following Emma's line of vision. "Still obsessing over her, aren't you?"
"I'm not obsessing," Emma coldly demands, forcing her eyes back to the boring menu behind the counter once again.
"Then what's with you?"
"Nothing." Ruby pins her with a fierce glare, folding her arms and all, because this woman knows her inside and out. Emma groans under her breath and rolls her neck to alleviate the tension knotting in her shoulders. "I...may have...sort of emailed her before we went out and I'm just curious if she received it or not," she whispers, ashamed that she finally caved after one month of radio silence and reached out, even though she was scolded on several occasions to not do that.
"I told you that was a bad idea," Ruby growls quietly, not to cause a scene. "The woman is still grieving, obviously she had a hard time coping since she ran out of your car in tears."
"I know," she whines, fiddling with the insides of her pockets and rubbing the bottom zipper together anxiously. "I just felt bad, I kinda wanted to see how she was."
"Always the Savior," Ruby deadpans as the kid behind the counter beckons them forward. "I thought you traded in that heart of gold?"
Emma rolls her eyes. "You spend far too much time with my parents."
"What can I getcha?" The kid asks, leaning forward on his hands to hear them more clearly over the thumping crowd.
"Ummmm," Emma stutters, her eyes still sweeping at the menu above that she never truly read to begin with.
"A bear claw," comes the husky whisper from over her right shoulder, provoking her to jump in her boots.
She cranes her neck so fast she's sure her head is going to spin right off her shoulders. "Regina?" Her poor voice hardly croaks out the name because her heart is hammering so severely.
"Sorry to interrupt, but the craving..." and Regina looks so unsure of herself for a split second before a gentle smile ghosts over her lips from the memory of her husband. "It's a bear claw. He loved them, most mornings before work he would make us stop and get one." Regina's voice breaks from the emotions swelling up again, but she smiles despite the sadness and Emma finds herself smiling back.
Regina read the email.
"One bear claw," Emma orders and then turns back to Regina while Ruby orders as well.
"I was always on him about how unhealthy they are, but apparently his heart was very strong." Unknown to Emma, she's frowning back at this woman. "I'm sure one will be just fine. Everything in moderation, correct?"
And Emma's frown is blooming into a radiant smile from the phrase. "Right," she says, her smile stretching so far into her cheeks that she already feels how sore they are growing and maybe even a little warm.
"I should be heading back to my niece," Regina softly says and even though Emma's smile is still beaming, she feels the disappointment fizzling in her chest.
"Right," she concedes and watches as Regina dips her head down and then waltzes away as if she didn't short-circuit everything in Emma's hopeless body.
"That was really cool of her," Ruby acknowledges, both watching like idiots as Regina slips into the booth and immediately starts playing with the baby.
"Yeah," is all Emma can formulate at the moment because her mind is scheming to come up with another way to see this woman once again.
