Warning: Implied sexual content
She had lost count of how many drinks she had. She didn't care anymore. She just wanted to feel numb and forget about what was on her mind.
As she finished another drink, Otoya spotted a beautiful woman all on her own, on the other side of the bar. Her predator instincts kicked in as she licked her lips and approached the woman.
"May I offer you a drink?" Otoya said with her most charming smile.
It didn't take her very long to get the other woman drunk and they left, almost aggressively making out in the bathroom. Otoya thought that she needed this; some beautiful woman to make her forget about the one who broke her heart, some quick fuck, and maybe even a murder? Who knows. She was so intoxicated herself that she had no idea what she was doing anymore.
She then felt the woman's hand slipping under her shirt, softly brushing against her stomach before she cupped one of her breasts. Their lips parted away and the woman smiled at her as she got on her knees. Otoya pressed on the woman's head, stroking her, feeling her soft and straight hair through her fingers.
It wasn't as soft as Shiena's hair though. Her hair was curly and frizzy but oh so fluffy to touch. She loved to pet her hair and the way they brushed against her thighs whenever Shiena went down on her. Otoya couldn't get over that feeling, the softness, gosh she wished she could touch it right now instead of this boring straight hair-
It wasn't working. No matter what she did, she couldn't get Shiena out of her mind. No amount of alcohol, sex or murder could make her forget the sweet and intense feeling she felt with her. Everything felt bland now and she hated to feel like the brunette had this kind of power over her.
"Stop," Otoya suddenly said.
The woman stopped and looked up, confusion in her eyes.
"You didn't like that-"
"I'm just not in the mood anymore."
Immediately, the woman rose up, staring at Otoya, offended.
"What the hell? You're the one who flirted with me and wanted this!"
"And now I don't. Can't you take a no?" Otoya replied back.
The woman looked like she wanted to reply but ultimately remained quiet. She glared furiously at Otoya for a moment before leaving the bathroom.
Otoya pulled up her pants and zipped it back up. She stayed standing there for a moment before she clenched her fist and punched in one of the mirrors.
"FUCK!"
Some shards lacerated her hand but Otoya didn't care. She was too drunk to even feel it. She retracted her fist, realizing that it was now bleeding. She instinctively brought her injured hand to her face and started lapping clean her wound before smiling bitterly.
"It tastes bitter when it's your own blood."
She felt a violent pain in her stomach. She immediately reached out for a toilet to throw up. She definitely drank too much.
After she was done puking out all she had, she grabbed some toilet paper to wipe her mouth clean. Then, realizing her wound was still bleeding, she grabbed some more toilet paper to make herself a cheap bandage and let herself fall to the floor, leaning against the toilet stall.
She pulled out her phone and, with some hesitation, dialled a number.
She couldn't sleep. Not only because it wasn't her bed nor her room, but because she was utterly terrified and filled with regrets.
After rolling in bed for hours waiting to finally fall asleep in vain, Shiena gave up. She turned the light on and headed for the bathroom to get a glass of water. She was welcomed by her bruised reflection in the mirror, a mark that was a constant reminder of the consequences of her actions.
Near her left eye was a bruised cut, the result of Otoya's punch. The wound wasn't deep enough to require medical assistance but Shiena was still worried that it might get infected or that she could have some internal injury. But she was too damn afraid to go to the hospital.
Shiena cleaned her wound and filled herself a glass of water. She went back to the bedroom. It was just some cheap motel room, spartan but sanitary. Way in her budget and really low profile, perfect to hide for an undetermined amount of time.
She was on forced vacation so it wasn't like she would miss work. Not like anyone would miss her, anyway. She knew she couldn't hide forever, but she needed some time to figure out what to do.
Trying to use Otoya to get information on Black Guild was a terrible idea. Not only did she put herself in danger, she also lied and deceived her own allies. She didn't know how she could get away with this. Otoya would most likely kill her if she found her, and if AKA arrested her, there was no doubt that she would out Shiena for keeping her secret. Shiena was screwed either way.
Shiena finished up her glass of water. She knew the good choice to do was to report Otoya, but she couldn't. Not only because she knew it would get her in trouble, but also because deep down, she didn't want to cause harm to Otoya.
She knew it was wrong, she tried to convince herself for so long that she was only using Otoya, that she actually despised and loathed her, but she knew it was wrong. She did have feelings for her and they wouldn't just fade away instantly. She just loved Otoya.
But she knew Otoya didn't love her back.
The bruise on her face was proof of this. Someone who loves you wasn't supposed to do that. You can't "accidentally" punch someone in the face. Otoya chose to hurt her, she chose to punch her, she wanted to harm her. And that isn't love. People like Otoya can't love. Shiena should have known better. She studied serial killers and psychopathy for so long and she knew psychopaths couldn't feel love and yet, she wanted to believe so badly that somehow, Otoya was capable of loving her and only her and that she was somehow special… Shiena realized now how dumb and naive she had been. She felt so pathetic right now.
Bzzz
She jolted when she heard her phone suddenly buzzing loudly against the coffee table. Without much thought at first Shiena stepped towards it but then stopped for a moment. She was having a bad feeling about this.
She took a few more steps, approaching with cautious and apprehension, and then froze when she saw the name of the caller.
Takechi Otoya.
Panic immediately seized Shiena. Her chest started to hurt and she had difficulty breathing. She was gasping desperately for air, her heart racing and her mind becoming more and more dizzy.
The phone finally stopped buzzing. But then it buzzed again and again and no matter how many times Shiena ignored it, it was still buzzing.
The brunette finally grabbed the phone and just turned it off so it wouldn't buzz anymore. But somehow, she could still hear the buzzing. It wasn't coming from the phone, she just constantly heard it in her head as the room started to feel like it was spinning around her.
There was a throbbing pain in her head. She couldn't bear it anymore. She rushed towards the fridge and grabbed a bottle of some cheap vodka (courtesy of the motel) and took a deep sip. She nearly choked on it. It was strong but she didn't care. She needed to numb the pain, the fear, any feelings, really. She just didn't want to feel anything anymore.
It didn't take much vodka to reach the effect desired. Really, three or four sips and Shiena was already wasted. She put the bottle on the floor and let herself fall, leaning against the wall as she sobbed softly, before finally falling asleep.
"Can you actually believe this? The audacity- no, the ungratefulness!"
Otoya spat out this last word with such bitterness and resentment. Suzu offered no answer at first, simply staring blankly at Otoya before she sighed.
"Takechi-san… I just woke up from a coma. I'm still hospitalized. I was shot," Suzu replied, putting emphasis on the word shot.
"I know that, no need to remind me constantly. This is about me, not you," Otoya dismissed.
Suzu sighed again, lying in her hospital bed. She was still plugged into various machines to keep her alive and was clearly heavily sedated. Regardless, Otoya considered that she was the one who had it worse.
"So, you said Kenmochi-san was mad at you for killing her mother, and you are upset because…?"
"Because she can appreciate what I did for her, of course! She doesn't even answer my calls!"
"... Murdering her mother?"
"Yes! She told me she hated her and that she thought about killing her. She even said she wanted her out of her life!"
"Takechi-san, a lot of people would say those words if they are really mad at someone, it doesn't mean you have to take it literally."
Otoya raised her arms in exasperation.
"How was I supposed to know that!? Why can't people just say what they actually want? How can they expect me to understand if they constantly say things that aren't meant to be taken literally? Am I just supposed to guess? I can't read people's minds!"
"Well, that's usually more about understanding the basics of the human mind and emotions rather than reading actual minds."
"Pff, 'human emotions'... I understand feelings! I manipulate people's emotions all the time!"
"Your understanding of feelings is extremely shallow as you yourself are really emotionally shallow. You may be able to understand and manipulate basic and obvious emotions, but I doubt you can understand them on a deeper level."
"That just proves my point! How could Shiena expect me to understand? She knows me better than anyone else!"
"Why did Kenmochi open up about her mother? Did she just decide to tell you on a whim?"
"Well, no, I started talking about my mother in hope she would talk to me about hers."
"So she never had an ulterior motive. She just told you because you told her about yours. As a way to bond with you."
Otoya didn't like where this was going.
"Are you implying that this is my fault?"
"I'm not trying to put the blame on anyone. I just feel like… you might be the one who had an ulterior motive. That you could have projected your own issues on Kenmochi-san and used her to justify them."
"That sounds like you are putting the blame on me."
"Well, perhaps I am, and perhaps you should stop being such a child and own up to your mistake for once."
Otoya clenched her fist. For a split-second, Suzu seemed worried, but she then stared back at Otoya. The serial killer had to admit, Suzu had some guts. And she could respect that. She allowed her body to relax and even let out a chuckle.
"Maybe you're right. I should be more understanding towards Shiena's feelings. After all, we can't all be as levelheaded and rational as me."
Suzu rolled her eyes.
"Anyway, I wasn't expecting your visit, nonetheless to talk about your… couple problems. I thought you would be here for more… serious things."
"What else could be more important than my problems?"
"Huh, I don't know. The fact as I shot perhaps?"
"Oh, that. Yeah, terrible. You have all my sympathy."
"No, I mean… the fact Black Guild tried to kill me. I thought you were here to, you know, finish the job."
"Ah… nah. I don't care about Black Guild. Whether you are a double agent or not doesn't interest me and I have no intention of killing you if it doesn't benefit me."
"That's so comforting…"
Otoya simply smiled. It was true. She had no idea if Suzu was a double agent and it didn't matter. But as long as Nio though she was, it let Otoya off the hook regarding her own betrayal for proving Shiena's innocence. It was a shame that Suzu ended up injured by Otoya's ploy, but at least she wasn't dead. For now.
"I still don't know why they thought I was a double agent. What could have made them think that?"
"I have no idea either," Otoya replied with such an innocent smile. "Anyway, I have to go. I wish you well in your convalescence and hope things will get better for you."
"Thanks. I wish the same for you."
Still smiling, Otoya left the hospital room and pulled out her phone.
Knock knock knock
It was the third time she knocked and still no answer. Was Shiena just absent? Was she just ignoring her again? Otoya was tempted to just force the door open but she knew it wasn't the best option, given the recent events. If she acted too "aggressive" it would just scare Shiena even more. She might think Shiena was overreacting, but she still acknowledged that she needed to be understanding and patient. For the sake of their relationship- and most importantly, her pleasure.
"Shiena-chan? Are you there? Please, I just want to talk. I'm sorry for what happened. It was totally my fault. I should have thought about your feelings. Please Shiena-chan just talk to me. I love you so much!"
Still no answer. Otoya waited a little bit more, knocked once again, and lost patience.
"Very well. I gave you a chance. You asked for it."
Otoya took a hairpin and started picking the lock. As usual, it was an easy task and the door came unlocked. She opened the door and stepped inside the apartment.
"Shiena?" Otoya called.
No answer. Otoya looked around. No sign of Shiena.
Everything in the apartment looked exactly the same. No objects had moved, the trash on the ground was still there, a few drops of blood was on the floor as well as the broken chair Shiena used to knock her out. There was even dust accumulated on the furniture- more than usual.
Shiena never came back after she knocked her out and ran away.
Upon this realization, Otoya grabbed the first object she could get her hand on- a mug, and threw it on the wall with all her strength.
Crack!
"You little…"
Otoya took a deep breath to calm down and pulled out her phone.
"You won't get away this time, Shiena."
"Hey, hi! I wasn't expecting to meet you here," Otoya said with enthusiasm.
Haru stopped, holding what appeared to be a strawberry milkshake, and a smile beamed on her face.
"Hey, Otoya-san! What a coincidence to meet you here."
Otoya just continued to smile. Yes, a total coincidence. It wasn't as if Otoya had stalked Haru's social media in hope to find her location and tracked her down to this café. Or was it?
"Yep, a total coincidence. I just happened to be around and thought I could stop by the nearest café."
"This is the one I always go to because it's near my work. And their strawberry milkshakes are the best," Haru said with a cheery smile.
"Oh, is that so. May I have a taste?"
"Of course!"
Haru looked so innocent. Wasn't she supposed to be Shiena's coworker? A secret agent at AKA? If they allowed people like that in their agency, no wonder they never caught Otoya. Haru looked like a total airhead, naive and docile. Just the type of woman Otoya would have no problem deceiving.
Gosh, she wished she could just bring Haru to her bed. And make her bleed.
"Thanks!" Otoya replied with a bright smile as she took a sip of Haru's drink. Not her type of drink at all, but it was decent. "You were right. It's delicious!"
"Right?"
Haru then took a sip herself and Otoya smirked.
"Indirect kiss~"
Haru lightly blushed at that comment. So cute.
"O-Otoya-san…!"
"I'm just joking. I'm already taken, after all."
Technically, Shiena never officially broke up with her, so it wasn't a lie.
"Well, I am too," Haru said, smiling with a dreamy look on her face.
"Oh, is that so?"
Otoya didn't recall hearing that Haru had a lover. Not that she would have cared.
"Yes! One of my coworkers, Tokaku!" Haru said enthusiastically.
'Tokaku'? What a strange name. Well, if this person was her coworker, it must be another agent. Probably another airhead too.
"Hey, can I ask you a question?" Otoya suddenly asked.
"Sure."
"Do you… um, it may sound weird, but, uh, I can't get a hold of Shiena-chan. I tried going to her apartment but she wasn't there. Do you know what's up with her? I'm really worried about her."
Haru seemed surprised by her question.
"Shiena-san isn't at her place?"
"... Is she supposed to be?"
"Well, yeah. She was supposed to stay home until the current investigation is over."
"What investigation?"
"She hadn't told you?"
Otoya shook her head in response.
"Well, uh, I'm not supposed to discuss investigations with civilians, but I guess you deserve to know. Regarding the investigation on Jacki- I mean, Jack the Ripper of the 21st Century, the latest victim was… her mother."
Otoya gave her her best imitation of a shocked face.
"Oh my God! That's horrible, poor Shiena-chan."
"Given that the victim was related to her, she was removed from the investigation and asked to remain at home for her own safety. But if she isn't there, then…"
"Haru. Who's that?"
Someone walked towards them. At first glance, one might think it's a guy, but Otoya knew how to spot a woman when she saw one.
"Tokaku!" Haru exclaimed.
So this was Haru's lover. Not quite the airhead she was picturing. She looked quite stern, even hostile. Opposite attract, she guessed.
"This is Otoya-san," Haru replied brightly. "Shiena's girlfriend."
As soon as she heard that, Tokaku glanced at her. Otoya could see the suspicion in her eyes and couldn't understand.
"So you are the Takechi I heard about," Tokaku replied.
What did she look so on her guard? They had literally just met.
Ring ring
Otoya instinctively went for her phone, before realizing it wasn't hers.
"Oh, sorry, it's mine. I gotta take it," Haru said as she pulled out her phone and walked away a little to talk privately.
Otoya was tempted to leave as Haru revealed herself to be useless (and a waste of time) and that she couldn't even have some fun with her, given her girlfriend who kept glaring at her. Perhaps she could be useful somehow.
"So, Tokaku-san…"
"Call me Azuma."
"Right. Azuma-san. Are you familiar with Shiena-chan?"
"She's my coworker. That's it," Tokaku replied coldly.
She didn't sound very fond of Shiena. It could explain the animosity towards her. But why would someone dislike someone like Shiena?
"Do you happen to have any news from her? I can't get a hold of her," Otoya asked with an embarrassed smile.
"She's ignoring your call huh?"
Otoya didn't like the phrasing but she played along.
"I guess she's just busy…"
"Or she doesn't want to talk to you," Tokaku interrupted.
She really really didn't like what she was insinuating.
"Don't be silly. Why wouldn't she want to talk to me? We're dating! That must just be a big misunderstanding-"
"People dating don't ignore each other unless there's something wrong with the relationship. Maybe you should just take a hint and leave her alone."
Gosh. Otoya really wished they weren't in public so she could give her a piece of her mind- preferably with a sharp object. But really, Tokaku wasn't her type- she looked too much like a man. Not even a cute tomboy or a sexy butch, just a rough, uncharismatic man. Such a turn-off.
"You don't seem fond of me huh," Otoya said with a soft smile.
Tokaku stepped closer from her, gazing right into her eyes.
"You have the eyes of a liar," Tokaku said with contempt. "I don't trust you. You look fake and you reek like bullshit. I hate people like you."
Well, finally someone honest, at least. It would have been a pain for Otoya to try understanding her or pretend to be friendly towards her.
"Well, let's say the feeling is mutual, Azuma," Otoya replied with a grin that showed way too many teeth.
She didn't even wait for an answer before walking away, doubt in her mind as she started typing on her phone.
Shiena hadn't touched her phone in days. She didn't want to take the chance of stumbling on a message from Otoya. She was too stressed and afraid to sleep on her own and regularly needed a few shots of vodka to finally calm down. But getting wasted every single day was starting to badly affect her health. She could barely eat anymore.
Trying to focus on something else she started rummaging through her bag, desperate for some distraction. Her hand then felt a particular object she couldn't quite recognize. Something small, metallic, with a chain… She pulled it out and froze when she saw it.
It was a necklace made of a silver heart with an amethyst stone. Otoya's Christmas present for her.
This brought back some fond memories, back when she didn't know Otoya was a serial killer. She used to be so sweet back then, so charming, kind, caring… She now knew it was all just an act, but part of her still cherished those memories.
Otoya was a monster but she wanted to believe so badly that deep down, she did hold genuine love for her, or at least cared about her. She knew she did love Otoya. Was she the one in the wrong? Was it wrong for her to expect Otoya to behave a certain way, given that she was biologically incapable of empathy? Should she be more accepting of her mental condition?
She punched her, true. This was unacceptable in a relationship. But could she really hold a psychopath to the same standard as others?
Shiena knew she shouldn't have those thoughts, but she couldn't help it. She missed Otoya.
Without any common sense, she grabbed her phone and turned it on. She had over twenty missed calls and multiple messages.
All from Otoya.
Shiena gulped before she started listening to the messages.
"... Hey, Shiena-chan… are you there?"
By her voice, Shiena could guess Otoya was drunk when she recorded it.
"Maybe you are just sleeping… Please call me back when you have this message. I miss you. I'm sorry."
It almost sounded sweet. If Otoya was really drunk, then she must have been more likely to be honest, right?
She then listened to the second message.
"I get it. I was wrong. I shouldn't have done that. Killing your mother was wrong and I shouldn't have hit you. Can we please talk in person and solve this issue like reasonable adults? Please call me back."
That didn't sound so bad. At least Otoya was acknowledging her mistakes, right?
Time for the third message.
"Are you fucking kidding me!? You haven't been home for days?!"
Well, this one didn't start well.
"I've been to your apartment. You never came back, did you? After you assaulted me and left me unconscious on the floor? Do you really think you can hide from me? You better come back to me before I lose my patience. Answer your damn phone!"
Shiena's heart started racing. This message sounded more threatening than the other two. She wasn't sure if she wanted to keep listening.
She listened to the fourth one anyway.
"I've been patient enough with you Shiena. Even after I apologized to you, you keep ignoring me. I cared about your feelings but you didn't care about mine. I'm done going soft on you. I'll find you, and you'll be the one to be sorry."
Shiena nearly dropped the phone. This last message sounded so ominous.
Bzzz
Her heart skipped a beat and she dropped the phone, before seeing who was the caller.
Takechi Otoya.
Shiena grabbed the phone and did what she should have done since the beginning.
She blocked Otoya's number.
She let the phone fall and sighed in relief. Why didn't she think about that sooner?
Bip
She froze. Was it…?
Bip Bip Bip Bip Bip Bip Bip Bip Bip Bip Bip Bip Bip Bip Bip
That was the sound of a notification on Facebook. With some apprehension, she opened the app and discovered she was being flooded by message texts.
All from Otoya.
"Did you just fucking block me?!"
"Ungrateful bitch!"
"Unblock me right now or else..."
"Did you even love me? Were you just using me?"
"Answer me!"
"When I find you, and I will, I'll make you pay!"
"You'll regret taking my love for granted!"
"I'll come for you, be sure of that!"
"Just wait-"
Shiena blocked Otoya again. She then dropped her phone, her heart beating like crazy, her chest starting to hurt. She couldn't bear it anymore. It had to stop. No matter what she had to do.
No matter the consequences.
Shiena took a deep breath. She had made up her mind. She grabbed back her phone and dialled a number.
"Namatame. There's something I need to confess…"
I've been into multiple abusive relationships and I can totally understand what Shiena is going through. But she gotta do the right choice, ya know? Hopefully, things turn out for the best... or will they?
This chapter was mainly from Otoya's PoV. Usually, I focus more on Shiena's PoV to "preserve" the illusion of how Otoya portrays herself and how Shiena tends to perceive her, nice, sweet, friendly, charming, charismatic... but really, this is all just a mask. Otoya is an egotistical, self-absorbed, lying, manipulative, narcissistic psychopath and a total "womanchild" who has no remorse or empathy whatsoever.
