41

"Where the hell have you two been?" Beckett demanded as soon as the two men entered the base "I am ready to shoot this prick myself!"

"John!" Jack said with wide eyes, his hand fluttering to his throat "Surely not. You would never do anything to upset someone, such an amiable sort of fellow!"

"Exactly what I said… but less flowery" John nodded sagely, sitting on a table.

"You know… some eat off that table" Ianto said as he seized John's ear and yanked, puling him off the table to land on the floor in a heap and John roared with mirth as he rubbed his ear.

"Gods, I really thought this place was boring but now I see that you have been hiding the best bits for yourself" John said to Jack "these ones are so feisty. Tell me. Does he buck when you…"

Anytime John was going t to say was cut off as Ianto calmly rabbit-punched him in the throat and stood looking down at him as he writhed the floor gagging.

"I do not buck. I fuck" Ianto said blandly and Jack coughed softly as he tried to hide his mirth, Ianto turning on his heel to walk to the kitchen like nothing had happened.

Jack knelt by John "I told you. I warned you about this. Ianto is not your normal sort of fluff. Ianto is… exotic. He is… unique and seriously… mine."

Ianto has stopped before the kitchen, as focused on the wall covered with a map of Wales and England, the hot spots where Decay had formed marked with pins. Red for active. Blue for dealt with. Yeah… best to say that. The whole idea of 'cleansing' made them all uncomfortable as they knew UNIT were likely employing the same strong-armed viciousness as during the Miracle Day clean-up.

Ianto stood staring at it and Jack came alongside, his hand sliding around Ianto's waist to clearly let everyone know this was a private conversation here "Whatcha thinking?"

"UNIT have not reported anything for almost a week. They are supposed to every second day as per Her Majesty's remit" Ianto replied softly "they are forgetting that I am not Torchwood. I am Her Majesty's Voice and as such they are answerable to me."

"You are worried about how they are cleaning up the problem?" Jack asked, knowing that they were on the same page.

"Hmmmm"

"Well… let's go visit then!" Jack said as he hugged Ianto around the waist for a moment then let go knowing Ianto might pull away anyway "We can visit Gwen and the little one afterwards to feel better too."

"Ah. The old 'dangle a baby' routine?" Ianto turned to raise an eyebrow and Jack grinned at the playful mood in the air.

"well … I am partial"

"Hmmmm"

Jack was loving this new side to Ianto. A side he new about clearly, but usually one seen in private and to see Ianto out here in the open without that butler mask was invigorating. He was so handsome and clever and witty. Also… sex on a stick! A big stick!

"Stop that."

Oh. Right. A TARDIS enhanced one. Jack grinned as he decided not to stop a single jot of his sexy thinking and instead followed Ianto around doing it as Ianto tried to ignore him. Finally the breaking point was when Ianto leaned over a desk to pull up something on the compeer, Beckett leaning back in his chair to allow Ianto access and Jack stood pondering the tight arse and the lush arse cheeks.

Ianto straightened up and turned to face him "Excuse me?"

"I didn't say a single word" Jack replied with wide yes.

"He's right. He's just been stood there" Lucy defended her boss with confusion.

"I will start dressing in old man clothes including floppy cardigans that cover my arse so you can't see it anymore if you do not stop that!" Ianto said ignoring her as he waggled a finger at Jack.

"Awwwww"

Finally Beckett said "Found them."

Ianto swung to see the area on the screen and pointed "There Jack. I want to go there. The Brig is there and I need to go demand…politely ask… for an update."

"That's a fair distance" Beckett pointed out "almost day's drive just to get there."

"Not by chopper it's not" Ianto muttered as he pulled out his cell phone and made a call "Wills. Hello sweetie. Can you give me a ride somewhere for Her Majesty's pleasure?"

Jack was now excited as he followed Ianto to for roof and Rex stood back with open gaping as the helicopter came into view and landed expertly on the roof. His Royal Highness Prince William leaned out the window and waved "Hi there Uncle Jack."

"Hello dumpling" Jack replied as he let Ianto get in first then followed him.

Rex then started to walk toward the chopper as John brushed past to run for it only to have Ianto lean out and yell at Rex "Not you. You need to go check the sewers for the rat and Weevil movements. Make sure they are not spreading it. Might be an outbreak down there!"

"WHAT?" Rex squealed with horror. "Weevil… what the fuck is a weevil?"

But they were already gone.

And if you are wondering… yes… John waved.