This set of chapters is less polished than the others, but the inspiration that I had in the middle of summer dried up unfortunately. It's really a pain about Trahearne getting killed because I really just don't have any interest in the game anymore after they did that. The story's not bad in LW4, I'm just... there's no point for me. If I had more inspiration, there would be more proper build-up for several of these plot points, particularly Trahearne's progression between his different stages. It was already a delicate balance to try to strike with being true to his personality and to achieve the sort of alteration that I was looking for, without also bringing gradual changes into it as well.


50: On the Rocks

Caoilfhionn and the other members present of Dragon's Watch – Rhyoll, Annhilda, Damara, and Rytlock – were returning to the Temple of Kormir a few days after they'd saved it from the Herald of Balthazar. While Caoilfhionn would have eagerly gone after the Herald, to track down Balthazar and Vlast right away, the Temple was still in danger and so they'd delayed a little to clear out some Forged camps. It served a dual purpose; while these people deserved to feel safe, it was also important to secure friendly territory for Amnoon.

Rhyoll in particular had become invaluable; his mechanical legs that Caoilfhionn had first seen when they first met were complete, and while they had been designed with the open grasslands of Ascalon in mind, they did excellently across the sands of Elona. Rhyoll outstripped them all with ease on a regular basis, arriving at destinations nearly fresh. Annhilda often asked him to scout ahead now, "Still rather have a tank, but how am I gonna get a tank down here from the Black Citadel by myself? Hahaha!" Rytlock groused under his breath about it, which made Canach snerk with amusement when he was around.

But for now, Canach, Phiadi, Wegaff, and Kasmeer were further afield. Caoilfhionn was enjoying seeing everyone again, though he missed seeing his other friends back in Tyria, whom he still hadn't seen in over a year. Ah well! At least he could talk to Taimi over Annhilda's communicator, and they were making new friends too, sort of, slowly.

There were fewer people in the Temple now than there had been previously. Any of the refugees who had the strength to had hurried on to Amnoon. Caoilfhionn didn't blame them; although it was safe now, though Dragon's Watch had destroyed the Forged camp, they surely did not feel safe to remain. He only worried that they might push themselves too hard in their haste...

He glanced around the main hall and caught sight of a figure of medium height next to the Humans, though tall to him, green and leafy and gazing up at the beautiful domed ceiling- "Trahearne!" He ran forward, delight illuminating his face, and flung himself into his lover's arms. The right arm was thinner than the other, perhaps always would be, but it was full-length now. "What are you doing here?"

Trahearne smiled down at him, hesitant still but just as happy to see him as he was. "I missed you, beloved. I need to push myself. Waiting idly will not heal me. So here I am – free of all other obligations, ready to follow you and your guild wherever may be."

Caoilfhionn drew him in. "I'm overjoyed to hear it. Welcome!" He kissed him soundly. "So what do you think of Elona so far? Have you ever been before?"

"No, I haven't. It's fascinating. The cultures I see here, past and present, are so vibrant."

"I know, these domes are exquisite-"

"And the colours on everything-"

"And the patterns!" Caoilfhionn grinned at his love, ecstatic that he agreed so closely with him on this. And they could explore it... together!

"You yourself look splendid in local clothing. I know I said so before, in the Grove, but it is even more apparent here under the desert sun."

"Thank you," Caoilfhionn said happily.

"No doubt you've been busy aiding people. I've already heard rumours of your exploits; it seems that Sylvari, Charr, Asura, and Norn stand out in a country primarily filled with Humans," Trahearne said dryly.

Caoilfhionn laughed at the joke, but sobered. "We've begun. Balthazar is doing much damage. If he were to attack a major settlement head-on, it would be devastating. So I'm glad you're here. Come, the others can help me explain." He took Trahearne by the hand, but Trahearne didn't move. "Trahearne?"

Trahearne raised his hand to his lips and kissed it, and suddenly Caoilfhionn felt short of breath. He didn't understand entirely the emotions Trahearne was trying to convey, but he felt them. And he just wanted to put his arms about him and hold him, forever.

He'd waited for this for so long, when he and Trahearne could see the world together. He could still see shadows in his eyes, the walls still standing around his heart, the uncertainty in his body. But he could see the love and trust there too, reflecting his own. He just had to be patient.

And he really did have to be patient, it quickly became clear. Though Trahearne did seem genuinely happy to be with him again, and out in the world, and as magnificent in his magic with scepter and focus as ever he had been, his temper was as short as it had been a few months ago in the Grove. He snapped at minor things, without warning, withdrawing in shame and frustration afterwards, and Caoilfhionn didn't know how to help. And slowly, Trahearne slid back into the anger and depression he'd thought he left behind in the Grove. Though he began to see a pattern. The anger always flared when Caoilfhionn was threatened, whenever any of them were in danger but most especially him.

"Trahearne... you realize I can't stop being in danger, out here, on this quest?"

Trahearne bowed his head. "I... I know. But I..."

Caoilfhionn waited, trying to figure out what was going on. "The past is the past." This was... survivor's guilt, it was called, wasn't it?

"I know," Trahearne snapped. "I told you... I can't just will away my... emotions."

"I know," Caoilfhionn said, soft and yielding where Trahearne was hard and prickly. "I'm sorry."

A sigh. "You're trying to help. I'm trying. I really am."

"I know. I love you, beloved."

"I love you too."

And yet. Summoning a minion on a man who threatened to run them out of town seemed like overkill to Caoilfhionn. Snapping at Phiadi when she was a little too arrogant... picking a fight with a ghost who refused to speak with them... unleashing the full force of his power on an average-sized Branded devourer... Trahearne was not in control, and Caoilfhionn didn't know how to help him regain it.


Annhilda had asked Damara to go signal the Phoenix Dawn to come moor at the spires by the skimmer ranch, to bring in some of the members of Dragon's Watch – and Canach – who had become scattered across Elona. They had to prepare for a scouting mission southward on Balthazar's trail. Caoilfhionn was with Trahearne, feeding fish to the skimmers, when Trahearne looked up sharply. "The spire is on fire."

Caoilfhionn looked and gasped, for it was so, waves of gouting fire spraying in ominously controlled patterns from the distant rock. "Annhilda! Come quickly!"

Annhilda came running. "Spirits! That's not good. She doesn't have her wyvern, so that must be..." Her grey-blue eyes widened. "Balthazar! Let's go!"

They ran, but they had only gotten partway there when a crystal missile flashed overhead towards the spiretop. "Aurene?" Annhilda cried. "Aurene! Come back! Wait!"

"Aurene!?" Caoilfhionn exclaimed, feeling a dim tug at his senses in the direction of the missile. Annhilda had told him of the little dragon's birth, but he hadn't met her outside the shell yet...

There was no time to think about it, only to climb the cliff as swiftly as possible as the noise of the fire roared over them. Caoilfhionn drew his sword, flinging water over their path, quelling the embers that fell from above and threatened to spread the flames to the surrounding area. And when they reached the top...

There was a figure lying motionless on the ground, a massive gaping wound in her chest and her clothes burning. Her devourer was a burning smudge beside her. No one else was there. "No! Damara!" Caoilfhionn shouted as he saw, sweeping water over the entire plateau. Across from him, the Phoenix Dawn cruised in at high speed, Rytlock and Rhyoll jumping from its side before the gangplank was even down.

Everything was dim and he felt dizzy, a sickening weight in his stomach as he stared at Damara's dead body. He barely heard the others talking all at once, even Taimi chiming in through Annhilda's communicator. He'd lost people he'd loved before, but so rarely was it so... immediate. Ruadhan, Malyck, Sieran – he'd never seen their bodies. Tonn, yes, though he'd only known him a few weeks. To lose a guild-mate, someone he'd known his entire life...

Trahearne knelt beside her, but rose almost immediately, shaking his head. "I can do nothing for her. Her soul is fled..."

Caoilfhionn went to him and leaned his head into his shoulder, seeking his embrace, and Trahearne wrapped him in his arms and held him close, and they both wept.

Until they heard a gasping breath, and whirled to see Damara's wound had somehow closed – her eyes were open – she was blinking, and breathing, and grunting, trying to sit up!? Everyone jumped away from her, Rytlock shouting "Get back!"

"How!?" Phiadi demanded stridently, not getting back but marching up to Damara with a look of extreme indignation. "How did you do that!?"

"Well..." Damara thought for a minute, blinking, a bit of a goofy smile crossing her face. "I was dead... But now I'm not."

"That's not how 'dead' works," Taimi put in.

"She makes a very good point," Canach said softly. "We all checked, Damara, and you were very much... no longer with us."

"This is a trick!" Rytlock growled.

"No trick, really," Damara said, her eyes still on Canach. "But we have more important things to worry about. Balthazar has Aurene."

"I know," Annhilda said, kneeling beside her. "I felt him take her. They're heading south, towards Kralkatorrik."

"But there's a large army of Forged in our way," Phiadi said. "We're going to need a plan."

"I think I have one," Damara said, trying to get to her feet – and her eyes fell upon the remains of her devourer. "Be-Betty..." And she burst into tears.

Annhilda, already beside her, put an arm about her shoulders, and Caoilfhionn broke away from Trahearne to join her other side, to comfort her. Kasmeer was kneeling with them, and even, to Caoilfhionn's surprise, Canach.

"I don't suppose your devourer can come back the same way you did," Phiadi said, tactfully soft.

Damara shook her head. "Oh, why did he have to come here now? I couldn't get away, and she wouldn't leave me..."

Caoilfhionn held her tighter as she sobbed. "I'm sorry we didn't arrive sooner. We came as quickly as we could."

"I'm glad we don't have to bury you," Canach murmured. "I know how much you love your pets, but we would miss you too."

Damara sniffled and tried unsuccessfully to dry her eyes. "I'm not saying I'd rather have died than Betty, but it's... painful... I'll be all right in a minute. I'll... Just... I need a minute."

"Of course," Annhilda said, and got up, motioning everyone away.


"So the people here really coexist with the Awakened?" Annhilda asked.

"Yes, of course," said the human farmer, smiling with bemusement. "The Bonestrand helps supply the entire empire. The farmers of Purity work with the Awakened to raise crops that are then sent south to Vabbi. Praise Joko!"

"Hmm," Damara said. Caoilfhionn looked at her – and remembered. Her mother had been from Vabbi, hadn't she? She hadn't spoken much about her, but... Perhaps he could ask delicately, later.

"Uh, praise Joko?" Annhilda pressed.

"Indeed." The farmer nodded emphatically. "King Joko has blessed us with protection, prosperity, education, and even Awakening! He defeated Abaddon and vanquished the Elder Dragon Zhaitan-"

"Excuse me," Trahearne broke in, face darkening in fury. "How dare you!?"

"I'm pretty sure those last two things are made up," Damara said.

The farmer's smile dropped like a stone. "King Joko doesn't lie. He's as honourable as he is powerful. If you want to blaspheme, do it north of the wall with the rest of the exiles."

"This is all abomination!" Trahearne snarled. "Necromancy-"

"Trahearne!" Caoilfhionn grabbed at him, at his mouth; Trahearne struggled, but Caoilfhionn dragged him away desperately, using Air to help him. Sure, the person before them was only a farmer, but even a farmer could be important. They didn't need to tip off Joko's forces that they were coming, or turn the locals against them, or-

He managed to get them out of sight behind a stone outcropping and let go. Trahearne immediately turned on him and struck him in the face. "Don't... don't force me like that!"

Caoilfhionn caught his breath. His cheek stung but that wasn't important right now. He should have realized... had he brought back unwelcome memories? Trahearne was hunched away from him, shaking, grinding his teeth. "I'm sorry. Please- please breathe. I'm not..."

"No... you're not." Trahearne's breathing was unsteady, half-sobbing, and he leaned on the rock. "You're not to blame at all. I'm the one who should be sorry. I..." He managed to breathe deeply and turned away, looking north back where they had come from. "Perhaps we should... part ways. For good."

"How do you mean?" Caoilfhionn asked, dread seeping into him.

Trahearne glanced in his direction but did not meet his eyes. "How many times have I nearly brought disaster upon us? You deserve someone better. Someone who is not half-mad and broken..."

"Trahearne." Caoilfhionn took a step towards him, feeling his own control slipping, his normally-sweet demeanour darkening. His fists clenched as he tried not to explode. "I have not been angry at you once in my life... until now. How dare you cast me aside in your despair? Do you not love me?" He knew the answer already; he could not lie about that, even at his lowest point.

Trahearne flinched. His voice was weak and high-pitched as he answered. "I do. You are my inspiration and my hope."

Caoilfhionn huffed. "Then don't say another word about breaking the troth we made." He made himself relax his arms, his hands. "If you need space, that's fine. But by the Pale Tree, I cannot live without knowing you are there for me, whether at my side or the other end of Tyria."

"I... am the same," Trahearne said, and tears ran down his face. "I take it back. I need you as much as you need me, if not more. But I am causing problems for you. I have been this whole time. And just now... I have been trying! Truly! But I cannot seem to stop myself. I swear it is not Mordremoth, but my body and my mouth move before I can rein them in... I'm sorry for jeopardizing our mission. I'm sorry for striking you."

"I forgive you," Caoilfhionn said readily. "I did not think of how you might react to being seized and dragged off..."

"At least you didn't use vines," Trahearne said, with a flimsy attempt at a joke. He sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Talk to me. What is it that upset you?"

Trahearne trembled again. "Joko. He is cruel beyond belief, and his Awakened are a perversion of necromancy. How can these people live beside the re-animated corpses of their families? How can they see this as a privilege!?"

"I know," Caoilfhionn said. "They have been brainwashed over generations."

"Yes, I know full well that I cannot open their eyes in a moment, but it... it makes me angry! 'Tis worse than Zhaitan, in some ways." He turned and slammed a hand into the rock, crumbling it under his fingers with death magic, then pulled his trembling hand back and sighed. "And that is partly why I must leave. I cannot trust myself not to ruin Damara's scheme."

"I'll come with you," Caoilfhionn said. "They have enough people to pull it off without me."

Trahearne finally turned towards him, reaching out hesitantly to caress the cheek he'd slapped before. "No. I... need to find myself. I wish I could say it was enough for me to go through life at your side, but something isn't right. And I must fix it on my own, without leaning on you."

"Must you?" Caoilfhionn asked plaintively, leaning into the hand. "But if you feel that's best, you should follow your quest. I'll be here for you, whenever you need me, as long as it takes."

Another tear ran down Trahearne's face. "I'm sorry. A lot of good I've been..."

"Stop apologizing. I forgive you. I forgive you. I love you." Caoilfhionn stepped forward and embraced Trahearne close, trying to impart all his confidence and love, to sustain him during their time apart. And if he wept tears of his own, Trahearne wouldn't be able to see from this angle.

At least not until Trahearne nudged his head up so that he could kiss him.

They parted; Caoilfhionn gave him a wistful smile. "Will you be leaving straight away?"

"I might as well," Trahearne said. "There's no pressing need for me to stay, logistically. Be careful, all right? Balthazar isn't allowed to take you from me while I'm not looking."

"No, he isn't," Caoilfhionn said. One more kiss, and he stepped back with a wide smile. "I won't keep you, then."

"Going somewhere?" Annhilda asked, approaching them from a tactful distance. "Is everything all right?"

"We're fine," Caoilfhionn said, still smiling. "Trahearne has chosen a new quest. I'll be staying with you."

"Okay," Annhilda said. "May Raven be with you."

"Where are you going?" Canach asked.

"I'm not sure yet," Trahearne said. "It's more the journey that is my quest, than any destination. Perhaps I shall go to Orr, there's not much damage I can do there..."

"I think you'll be surprised," Wegaff said. "Er- not like that! I mean, you'll be surprised by Orr in general."

"You have my curiosity," Trahearne said, and allowed himself to smile. "I apologize for my outburst earlier. I shall not get in your way from now on, at least. Good fortune be with you, and may Balthazar fall swiftly."

"Thanks!" Damara said. "I hope you find whatever you're looking for. Stay safe, okay?"

Trahearne bowed. "Thank you. I will see you all again someday." He turned and began to travel north, without looking back, tall and determined.