Word Count: 2,151
Warnings/Spoilers: None in particular for this chapter.


Everything still ached the following morning but he could move without too much grimacing and that seemed like a victory. He rolled out of the empty bed and tugged a t-shirt over his head, too used to having Chris around that it didn't occur to him that Isabel probably hadn't dropped him off yet.

He found Eddie in the kitchen, nursing a mug of coffee as he flipped some bacon.

"Hi," he mumbled, swiping Eddie's mug from beneath his arm and twirling out of Eddie's reach to sip at it.

"You could've just asked for your own," Eddie said, lower lip jutting in a pout as he waved the spatula towards Buck.

"Where's the fun in that when there's a perfectly good coffee within reach?"

Eddie rolled his eyes and retrieved another mug from his cupboard. "Maybe because it's mine?"

"What happened to mi casa es su casa?"

Eddie stuck out his tongue as he poured fresh coffee into the mug. "That's not what that statement is about and you should know it."

Buck shrugged, leaning against the counter and tracing his eyes over the way Eddie's white shirt hung from his shoulders. "Sue me."

"I'd rather not," Eddie retorted, turning his attention back to poking at the bacon. "That takes too much effort and after the call yesterday, I'd much rather not have to put in effort."

"Yeah. That call made me cross some sort of glass-fronted building on precarious stilts on the side of a hill off the list of wedding venues," he said thoughtfully, then jumped when Eddie's mug shattered on the tiled floor of the kitchen.

"Shit," Eddie muttered, surveying the damage and their bare feet and the spreading black liquid and the hissing bacon at his arm. "Uh- I- Can you-"

"Yeah, yeah, hold up." He left his mug on the counter and stepped carefully clear, shoving his feet into shoes by the door and retrieving the dustpan and broom along with some shoes for Eddie.

Eddie moved slowly to put the shoes on as Buck cleaned up around him, scraping shattered bits of mug into the bin and throwing one of the dishcloths on the floor to soak up the spilled coffee. It was quiet, a hint of tension in the air that made Buck's hair bristle, but any time he glanced at Eddie, Eddie was intent on the cooking and he hardly wanted to distract him further when he'd already broken one mug through a brief lapse in concentration.

He was able to ignore the silence up until they sat at the table with plates of eggs and bacon and toast, and Eddie had a fresh mug of coffee sitting in front of him that he kept staring at like it had personally betrayed him.

He poked Eddie's foot beneath the table, drawing brown eyes under a furrowed brow towards him. "What's wrong?"

"Just…" Eddie picked at the bacon, breaking off a section and then splitting it in half, and then half again. "Just thinking."

"About?"

Eddie shook his head and Buck had to fight against the urge to push, to keep pushing, because it was his natural instinct to push. But when Eddie got all quiet and weird like this, when Eddie shook his head like that, he needed to force himself to stop and give Eddie the space to process.

He hated eating in the silence though because he kept stealing glances at Eddie, noting the way the surface of the coffee rippled when Eddie lifted it towards his mouth or the way Eddie didn't eat nearly as much as he pushed food around his plate. It substantially reduced Buck's appetite, even though he'd been starving when he got up, and he wasn't surprised when Eddie finally gave up and deposited the half-finished plate in the bin when the food must have gotten cold and wandered down the corridor towards the shower without saying anything.

Buck turned his attention to cleaning up, gaze wandering towards the closed bathroom door frequently. He checked the timer on the oven and figured that Isabel would drop Chris off sometime soon now that it was after eight.

He sorted out some clothes for the day and waited until Eddie was finished in the shower, trading places when the other man emerged in a cloud of steam that clearly betrayed how hot his shower had been. But Eddie didn't even meet Buck's eyes as he shuffled down the corridor and Buck…really wanted to punch himself in the head for the entire demeanour change that was unquestionably his fault.

It wasn't until he was halfway through rubbing soap into his skin that it fully dawned on him what he'd said right before Eddie had dropped the mug.

"Shit," he said, thumping his head against the bathroom tiles. "Shit, shit, shit, Buckley. What were you thinking?"

It would be easy to blame Chris for planting the idea in his head weeks ago but it was more than that. Consciously or unconsciously, he'd been thinking about the wedding guests they'd been retrieving yesterday and thinking about Eddie and- Shit, he really needed to get it together and apologise to Eddie and insist that he hadn't meant anything by it. Not really. It was just a throwaway comment. Eddie didn't need to freak out. They didn't need to get married.

(But then what if Eddie got entirely the wrong idea by Buck trying to apologise and assumed Buck didn't see him as someone Buck would want to marry at some point? Because that was…just as unthinkable, really.)

By the time he left the bathroom, he was almost certain there was a red blotch on his head from how many times he'd hit his head against the tiles in some sort of self-flagellation for his stupidity.

He could hear Christopher's laughter through the corridor and bit back a sigh when he realised his moment was lost, that he couldn't apologise for something like that in front of the kid. Chris would misunderstand and get sad, Eddie would get sad, Buck would get sad, and then…well. It'd be a disaster.

Pasting on the best smile he had, he sauntered into the family room where Chris was sprawled in Eddie's lap and telling his father all about the movies he'd watched with Isabel the night before.

"Buck!" Chris shrieked, squirming in Eddie's arms to get to his feet and fall into Buck's outstretched arms for a cuddle. "I missed you."

"You saw me before my shift, kiddo," he teased, ruffling his hand through the blond curls as he stole a glance over Chris' shoulder to look at Eddie's inscrutable expression. "Did you eat all your great-grandma's cooking?"

"Yeah!" Chris cheered, tugging Buck towards the couch. "Can we go to the park, Dad?"

"Uh…" Eddie glanced between Buck and Chris. "I… Do you feel up to it?"

Buck rolled his shoulders because there were still a few sore spots that hadn't abated yet but he could handle the park if that's what Chris wanted. "Only if we get ice cream after," he said, flashing Eddie a grin and trying not to let it waver when Eddie's lips only twitched the slightest bit.

Shit.

He really needed to fix this.


They watched Chris play on the gym equipment in silence, occasionally calling out a "Be careful!" or "That's too high, Chris!" when the situation demanded but in terms of talking to each other… Nothing. There would have been really good opportunities too, and Buck kept telling himself to just come out and damn well say something, anything, now that he'd realised how badly Eddie's thoughts could be spiralling but he was too chicken-shit to speak up or even reach across what felt like a chasm of epic proportions and grasp Eddie's hand to provide some sort of reassurance.

"Dad! Push me!" Chris called from his still spot on the swings, legs dangling beneath him and kicking occasionally to try to get some sort of momentum which proved utterly impossible. Eddie sighed, shooting Buck a look before he got up and moved towards the swings. And the whole time Buck watched Eddie pushing Chris on the swings, the whole time he watched the quiet conversation between father and son that ended with Chris folding his arms around Eddie's neck, he wondered what that look had been about.


Was it on him to break the tense silence that pervaded the entire house because Buck could almost guarantee he knew what it was that was bothering Eddie? He wasn't sure. Christopher seemed naïve to the details, wandering around and chattering about a book he wanted to read or a movie he wanted to see or a picture he wanted to draw for his Art teacher.

When it was after lunch, and Eddie still hadn't so much as spoken to him, he retreated to the front porch with his phone in his hand.

i think i messed up

He waited a minute, two, and then five minutes later:

What did you do now, Ev?

He grimaced at the faintly accusatory tone, biting his lower lip between his teeth.

can i call u?

Thirty seconds later, his phone buzzed insistently and he swiped at the screen without needing to look at it.

"Well?" his sister prompted as he pushed his foot against the timber flooring of the deck, idly tracking a red car moving down the street.

"You know that call yesterday? The landslide?"

Maddie made a little 'mhm' noise and he hesitated, glancing through the window beside him. He could faintly see the light of the television casting colours through the house and he could only assume Eddie was still watching a movie while Chris sat at the coffee table and drew with his markers.

"I…might have made a stupid comment this morning about wedding venues to Eddie," he said, scratching the back of his neck and scrunching his nose at her sharp intake of breath. "And now he's not really talking to me? Or looking at me? And I didn't- Shit, Maddie, I didn't mean to even say anything like that and freak him out but-"

"But now you're panicking anyway?" she said with a knowing smile in her voice and he sighed, a small fraction of the tightness in his chest. "Are you…you know…seriously thinking about marrying him?"

"I don't know?" he said. He tugged at his ear, rubbed the hand over his face and felt the faint shadow of bristles on his jaw. "It's… I think it's too soon? We've only really been official for a few months. And there's Christopher to think about. And after what happened with Shannon, I mean- What if he doesn't even want to get married again? What if this is all there'll be? Because I'm okay with that. Before Abby, I never saw myself as being able to settle down with anyone but-"

"Evan, baby bro, slow down and hush," Maddie soothed and Buck could feel the staccato of his hammering heart in his chest, the way his breath was whistling a little in his throat because the anxiety that had been so alive before the call was well and truly back. "You know the only way to get any of these answers is to talk to him, right?"

"Mads," he whined, because he knew she was right but that didn't mean he had to acknowledge it.

"Eddie loves you, Ev," Maddie said, her tone remaining gentle even as he imagined she had the biggest grin on her face. "Even if you don't end up doing the suit and tie and ring thing, you've got a good guy there. I can't see him giving you up, even though I'm not sure sometimes how he puts up with you."

"You're not helping, you know that right? You're actually a terrible sister. I want a refund."

She laughed and he pressed his lips together against a smile. "I'm your sister. I'm the only one who will tell you how it is, whether you want to hear it or not."

He huffed at her and she laughed again.

"Look, my lunch break is basically over. I need to get back on the floor. But Evan?"

"Mm?"

"Talk to him," she encouraged, even though her words sent butterflies spilling through Buck's gut and his chest and they seemed to get stuck in his throat with the way his pulse stuttered in his neck. "You won't lose him over this but you've said something and it's set him off and now you need to talk about it."

His sister, the wise relationship expert.

"I love you."

"Love you too," she echoed and he managed a small smile as she ended the call and he was left fiddling with his darkened screen.

Talk to him.

It sounded so simple.

But of course, Buck wasn't known for being good at the 'simple' things when it came to relationships.


~TBC~