A short, random chapter for fun. Lol, enjoy


All day throughout school, when she was not in class, Lucy was fiddling with some strange loop-shaped object and not paying attention to the others' antics. She only looked up from the thing if someone spoke to her directly, and that's only if she heard her name.

"Lucy," Kyle attracted her attention during recess. "What is that thing?"

"Hm? Oh, this is a special collar I've been working on for Sniper. I've been researching the thought processes of various animals and wanted to compare them to the thought process of a monster animal. Sniper is very intelligent, but he is still a dog. Anyways, this collar will translate his thoughts into a voice we can understand."

"Like Up?" Darren asked.

"What?"

"That movie, Up. With the talking dogs."

She made a face. "Eh, I don't know what you are referring to."

"Do you not watch movies or TV? I mean, you have a TV in your she-shed."

She shook her head disapprovingly. "I don't have time for such a useless activity."

Darren shifted awkwardly. "Oh."

"So, Brooke," Kenny asked. "Why doesn't Trent come to school?"

Cartman looked over nervously from where he was standing a few feet away.

She shrugged. "He says he won't because school is where he lost everything."

"Your…not parents don't try to make him go?"

"No. They mostly just exist at this point. Eh, their brains are pretty scrambled from all the brainwashing."

"That's fucked up."

"Yeah," Darren agreed. "Those poor people have no idea."

"What?" Kenny gave him an odd look. "No! It's fucked up that Trent doesn't have to go to school but WE do!"

"What the hell does Trent do all day?" Stan asked.

"I don't know," she replied. "He works out a lot. Not sure how he got all that big exercise equipment down there… Sometimes he plays with Sniper in the backyard. He's the only human Sniper doesn't have to hold back with during tug-o-war."

"They've ruined the yard…" Lucy muttered.

"Yeah. Oh, when we're home, sometimes he hangs around with me."

Kenny looked bothered by that. "What for?"

"I mean, why not? He's great. It's like having a big angry gorilla that I can get to open stuff that's too tight or carry heavy stuff for me."

Darren laughed, but the other boys looked a bit frightened by that comparison.

"He just…does whatever you want?" Cartman asked.

She tilted her head a little at him. "Well, I ask him to, but…yeah."

"More like whine," Lucy muttered again.

"Lucy," Brooke looked at her. "Your sass is like silver needles poking into my ego. Stop."

"The Princess shouldn't whine," she scolded.

"Whine?" Darren looked to Lucy.

"Like yesterday," Lucy explained. "She couldn't open a jelly jar for her sandwich, so 'Trennnt, can you open this, pleeease?'"

Darren bit his lip, smirking.

"Oh, whatever!" Brooke huffed.

"How can YOU not open a jar?" Kyle asked her.

"She CAN," Lucy slapped the collar down. "She just WON'T because he'll do everything FOR her!"

Brooke rolled her eyes. "You're just jealous."

"Jea- What?! You're taking advantage of him and being lazy!"

"No I'm not!"

"But," Stan said. "She's a Princess. Isn't that, like, what she does?"

"NO!" Lucy snapped and Stan almost fell over from shock.

Darren was laughing, even more so now because of Kenny's offended expression upon hearing how Brooke talked to Trent.

"That's kind of weird, though," Kyle said. "Like, why does he? Is it because he's afraid of her? …Or does he like her?"

Kenny looked even more offended, and Darren almost choked on his own saliva he was laughing so much.

Lucy recomposed herself and apologized to Stan before replying to Kyle. "Nothing like that, no. He's a brute, but he's actually rather kind towards certain people it seems. So long as you don't cross him, that is."

Cartman looked lost. "Trent…kind? You're joking, right?"

"As I said, so long as you don't cross him."

"Anyways," Brooke said. "Are you guys coming over after school to hear Sniper talk?"

"Hell yeah!" Darren smiled.

"Nope," Cartman said.

"I wasn't actually inviting YOU… Pussy."

He made a face.

.

After school, they met up with Brooke and Lucy along the sidewalk on their way home. Cartman had not joined them, doing his best to avoid Trent, and was instead replaced by Butters and Riley. They followed the girls all the way to their house and around to the backyard where they found Trent and Sniper playing tug-o-war.

Lucy made a disapproving face at the sight of the tilled and gashed soil across the yard.

Aside from Darren and Riley, the boys stopped where they were, too afraid to get any closer to the brutish boy. Butters panicked a little, but seemed to remember something and joined up with them at Riley's side and relaxed.

"Enough!" Lucy fussed.

Trent and Sniper looked over at her, a little surprised, then both released the rope at the same time, letting it fall to the ground. "What?" Trent asked.

"You two BRUTES are absolutely DESTROYING the yard!"

They both looked around at the mess. "Oh," Trent said. "Our bad."

"Yes, it is. Sniper, come!"

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny all looked at each other. They were stunned at the way Lucy scolded Trent, and even more stunned at his nonchalant response, having expected him to react more aggressively. The most surprising part to them, however, was the fact that the boy seemed to be paying them no real mind. Instead, he was focused on Brooke as she went over, smiled up at him, and began to carry out a casual conversation about their day. Actually, Kenny quickly went from frightened to annoyed at seeing how friendly she was with him.

Noticing his reaction, Darren decided to mess with Kenny. "Oh, Brooke," he said loudly. "You're pretty fond of Trent, huh?"

"Of course I am," she shot him a leer. "What's your point?"

"Uh," he winced. "N-Nothing."

"There." Lucy had finished fitting the new collar on Sniper's neck. "How does it feel?"

He barked. "Perfect!"

They all turned their attention immediately to the dog after hearing his gruff voice. "Oh, sweet!" Stan smiled excitedly.

"Now I can communicate with the squishy humans," Sniper wagged his tail.

"Squishy?" Kyle echoed.

"Master!" the dog ran over to Brooke. "I speak!"

"Yes, you do," she said in a cutesy voice to the scary dog and scratched his ears. "That's my good boy!"

"Yes. I am the best good boy!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Perfect, indeed," Lucy smiled and wrote something down in a notebook. "I'll be right back." She left to go inside the shed for something.

"Now I can speak to Kyle," Sniper looked at him.

"Me?" he was surprised.

"Yes." The dog's words were short and quick. "You are my favorite human to receive pets from. Pet me!" he barked suddenly.

Kyle jumped from the loud sound and reached his hand out to pet the dog's back.

"Yes. Good pets! Now STOP!"

The boy immediately withdrew his hand.

"I see the way you watch Lucy," Sniper told him.

His face pinkened and he glanced around. "W-What?! What do you mean?"

"You have a strong interest in her," he barked, his tail wagging.

Kyle's face flushed a darker shade of red as the others chuckled; except for Trent, who only watched silently. "O-Okay, I do! So what?"

"Why don't you just tell her?" Darren shrugged. He took notice of Kenny shifting awkwardly beside him. "What's the worse that could happen? She rejects you? What if she doesn't?"

"But if she does, then it'll be super awkward! I…I like being friends with her. I don't want to mess that up."

"Your confidence is lacking," Sniper told him.

"Yeah, I know." Kyle said firmly.

"Then do something about it!"

He jumped away from the dog. "L-Like what?"

"The first step to being confident, is pretending that you are," the dog said with a curt nod. "You can be subtle, too, but you need confidence to do that as well."

"Yeah, Kyle," Darren smiled. "You could try to subtly make it more obvious to Lucy that you're into her."

"Oh yeah?" he eyed him suspiciously. "How?"

"Get her a stick," Sniper stated, looking quite proud of himself. "Bitches love sticks."

Brooke made a strange huffing sound, as if all the air had suddenly expelled from her lungs in an instant. She bit her knuckles, trying not to laugh at what her dog had just said.

"What?!" Kyle flinched. "Don't call her that!"

Sniper tilted his head. "Oh, I forgot. Humans don't use that term properly."

"Uh," Brooke raised her hand a little to get the boys' attention. She was smirking. "Bitch is the term for a female dog."

"Ohhhhh," they said simultaneously. Again, Trent only observed silently.

"Well what the heck is a stick gonna do for me?" Kyle asked animatedly.

"You give your favorite stick to the female to show you like her," Sniper told him. "Rolling over to expose your belly also shows that you trust her."

"That's DOG stuff!"

"Better than what you've been doing," Darren told him. "Which is nothing. What do you think, Brooke?"

She snickered. "Uh, I mean, sure. She IS a werewolf, after all."

Kyle looked worried for a moment. "Oh, well…all right then." He went to pick up a stick on the ground.

"Not that one!" Sniper snapped his jaws at the boy's hand. "That's mine! Here," he pranced over to the big tree in the center of the yard and picked up a large stick to bring to him. "I was going to chew this one today, but it would make a good gift."

"Uh, thanks?" he carefully took the stick from the dog's mouth.

Momentarily after, Lucy exited the shed with a clipboard in her hand. "That took a bit longer than I had hoped," she was saying. "Some of my things are still out of place from Airavata's rampage."

"Hey, uh, Lucy," Kyle approached her.

"Yes?"

He glanced down at the big stick in his hand then thrust it towards her. "H-Here you go."

She flinched a tiny bit and stared at for a long moment before taking it in her other hand. "Um, thank you?"

The others bit their lips, trying not to burst with laughter, as Kyle laid down on his back on the ground. Trent only made a weird face that was a mix of confusion and annoyance.

Lucy blinked and leaned forward to peer down at him quizzically. "Kyle, what…are you doing? Are you injured?"

He stared up at the sky, feeling very stupid and also annoyed that he had taken advice from a dog and that his friends let him. "No," he squeaked out.

"Oh." She looked a bit worried. "Well, you shouldn't lay in the snow like that. You'll get wet and cold."

"Right." Kyle got up suddenly and started walking away. "I'm going home."

"W-Wait for me, Kyle!" Stan laughed a little and hurried after him.

"Fuck you, dude!"

Lucy watched him leave then gave the stick in her hand a very odd, confused look. "What in the world…?"

"I feel so bad," Brooke muttered out the corner of her mouth to Riley. "But that was so funny."

Sniper shook his head disapprovingly. "Lacking!"

"Well, that was unbearable to watch," Trent finally spoke. "McCormick!"

Kenny almost jumped a whole foot in the air. "HUH?!"

"You know where Cartman is?"

"N-No."

"Whatever," he clicked his tongue. "I'll find him. Today is the day." He punched the palm of his other hand and cracked his knuckles.

"Okay that's cool!" Kenny said really fast and scooted closer to Brooke.

Brooke smiled and waved as Trent stomped past them. "Be back before dinner! Not-Mom's making fajitas!"

He stopped near the exit of the yard and pointed at her. "I will be back for the fajitas," he said sternly then turned and continued on his way.

"Man," Darren said. "That guy means business."

To be continued…