Disclaimer: I do not have the rights to SOA and make no profit from my writing. Anything you don't recognize from the show I have created.
Content Warning: This fanfiction is rated M. Please respect that warning and do not read this if you do not want to read M rated material.
I no longer have a beta, so all mistakes are my own.
2038
Age 46
Gabby stood at the island facing the kitchen table and chopped vegetables. Shark and Matthew were at the table. Matthew had gone to the prison on his own for the first time since turning 18. Part of Gabby felt bad for him. She knew how scary going through the prison checkpoints could be. But secretly, part of her was relieved. Taking Matthew to see his father was beyond awkward. She couldn't remember the last time the 2 had spoken to each other. He didn't even ask her for money directly; he always went through Matthew. When she sat next to Matthew during his visits with his father, she always made an attempt to at least tell Matthew to tell Casper hi, and that she missed him. Casper never had a message back for her.
Matthew sat at the table playing a game on his phone. Shark was peeling the label off his beer bottle. The kitchen was stuck in an awkward silence. Gabby decided to break it.
"Did you get through all the checkpoints okay? Anyone give you a hard time?" She asked her son.
Matthew shrugged. "It was alright, I've done it with you lots of times. I did everything you told me."
Gabby nodded her head. "How was he?" She asked.
Matthew looked at his mom. "He's okay, same old, you know?"
"Has he gotten in any more altercations?" She asked out of genuine concern.
"No, not that he told me. He didn't have any bruises." Gabby could tell her son wanted to say more, but didn't know how. She gave him an opening.
"Did you tell him I said hi?" She asked.
He shrugged.
"Did he have anything to say to me?" She asked, and Shark looked up at her with a sympathetic look.
"Does he ever?" Matthew asked. He was still a momma's boy. His mother was his whole world. He couldn't believe how cruel his father was towards her.
"No, I guess not." Gabby lowered her head and continued to chop.
"Mom?" Matthew asked.
"Yeah hun?"
"Why…why have you stayed married to dad all these years?"
Gabby set down her knife. "Matthew, your father has had a rough life. What he feels, how he acts, it's not how he used to be. I really, really love the man your father used to be. And I'm supporting him through this the best way I know how. And all I can hope is that when he gets out, when he adjusts, we can have what we used to have."
Shark grunted. He wasn't Casper's biggest fan anymore. Not since he had seen first hand how little Casper cared about his wife being attacked.
Matthew looked at Shark, then back at his mom. "What was he like, before?"
"Oh, he was fun, and loving. He tried to help me around the house, but he was a lousy cook. He could vacuum okay. We loved each other a lot, we were one of those annoying couples that were always cute and looked adoringly at each other. Mostly anyway. We had our fights too. He loved you kids. You 2 were his world. He was so happy when we had you and your sister. All he ever wanted was a house full of kids."
"Guess it's a good thing you 2 didn't have more. Since he wasn't here to help."
Gabby turned around and grabbed a towel. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment before turning back to her son.
"You like being the youngest? Never wanted another sibling to push around?" She tried to joke.
Shark stared her down, hard. He didn't notice that Matthew was looking at him now.
"He was telling me about when I was young today, about when he was here with me. I don't remember any of it. I don't even know if what he said was true. I just remember you mom, and Shark."
Gabby nodded her head. "You were young." She agreed. "Shark is your dad's best friend."
"Was." Shark interjected.
Gabby cleared her throat. "Now I'm his best friend." Gabby tried to play off his comment. "He stepped up in a big way to help me raise you kids."
"Yeah." Matthew grunted. "The things dad said he wished he could have done with me. Shark did. Or Tig."
"Yeah, I remember the fiasco of Shark teaching you how to shave." Gabby tried to lighten the mood.
"I did my best." Shark interjected.
"For a man who shaved his head for a good 10 years of his life, you sure don't have many skills." Gabby shot back.
"Why do you think I have hair now? Trimming is a hell of a lot easier than shaving." Shark jumped on the bandwagon of trying to lighten the mood. He knew how much the comment about not having more kids must have hurt Gabby.
"You mind if I skip out on dinner, mom?" Matthew asked after a quiet moment.
"Okay, soups always better the next day anyway." Gabby smiled at him.
"Whatever you say, mom." Matthew got up and kissed his mom's cheek before walking out the front door.
As soon as the door shut Gabby picked up the knife she had been using and threw it into the sink.
"Easy there, killer." Shark got up and walked behind Gabby, rubbing her shoulders.
"What the hell did Casper say to him?" Gabby exclaimed.
"Don't worry about him. He knows he's loved. He's got lots of family. He's just having an off day. He's never happy when he comes home from the prison."
Gabby turned around to face Shark. "Is it terrible that I'm relieved I don't have to go with him every month anymore?" Gabby asked.
"No, it's not terrible at all." Shark wrapped his arms around his best friend and kissed the top of her head. "Not at all." He assured her.
Matthew came home late that night; Gabby was sitting in the living room on her iPad. When he stopped in to say good night, she pretended not to see the hickies on his neck. She could just pray he was being safe. She joked often about not being old enough to be a grandma. And she knew Shark had given him a follow up talk about safe sex and birth control. Shark confessed to giving him a box of condoms during that talk as well. Gabby was more than thrilled she hadn't had to pull out a banana and teach her son how to protect himself.
She had met his girlfriend a few times. She was another student at the community college Matthew was taking his mechanics classes at. As far as Gabby knew she didn't have a major. She didn't have a job, or a car of her own either.
She thought, and she had been very stern with both her kids about the topic, that she was clean and sober. She didn't have any of the signs of being an addict, but they hadn't spent an abundant amount of time together.
Gabby had always secretly hoped Matthew and Suzie would end up together. Suzie was doing good. She graduated at the top of her class and was starting a nursing program. Gabby wanted her son to meet a woman that had her head on straight. A woman who could deal with club life. And Suzie knew club life.
Gabby got distracted by her phone going off and read Shark's text message. She shook her head again. He was depressed, stuck in his head, and drunk as a skunk. She was worried about him. Genuinely worried about her best friend. He had always been a heavy drinker, and he could usually hold his liquor, but there were often times he set out to get drunk on purpose. Vin had asked her to speak to him about it. But Gabby wasn't sure yet what to say. Sure, she worked with addicts all the time. But she met them at their lowest point, when they had been arrested, or child services had taken their kids away. Shark still made it to work every day. Mostly on time. He had never had a DWI. He wasn't a violent or a mean drunk, he just got depressed. Soaked in his loneliness, like being alone was the worst thing in the world. Well, wasn't she alone too? Her husband didn't speak to her. He wasn't in her bed at night, or in the house during the day, she wasn't sharing the chores with anyone, or cuddling up with anyone at night. And she didn't drink in excess.
Maybe she was turning a LITTLE jaded to the idea of love and family. She had her kids to keep her company. Well, she had her son to keep her company. But Shark spent just as many waking hours with him as she did. Hell, Shark spent so much time at her house they were practically an old married couple. And old sexless married couple is what Becky referred to them as. And that was after MUCH convincing that they were not in fact sleeping together.
Gabby's mind slipped into a common memory. The last time her and Casper had made love. He had come home late from the clubhouse. 2 or 3 am late. He closed and locked their door and pulled the covers off of her. She was pregnant, they were so happy and in love. He had woken her with his hands gliding over her body. The first words he said to her as she woke were 'I love you' and then he showed her how much.
Gabby shook her mind out of the past and opened up a new tab on her iPad. If she was going to talk to Shark about his drinking, she was going to need to do some reading.
Gabby woke up earlier then she wanted the next morning. She could hear her son and Shark in the kitchen. Every Saturday, for the past 16 years, Shark had come over and made pancakes for her kids. If the kids weren't home, he made them for her.
Gabby rolled out of bed and took a quick shower. She went downstairs in old yoga pants and one of her husbands now ancient Reaper shirts that had shrunk over her years of washing it. She left her hair a wild mess. It was the weekend; it wasn't time for the professional bun. She stood in the entrance of the kitchen and watched Shark clean up the dishes. There was a short stack waiting for her on the table; fruit on the side, because she always lectured him about adding something healthy.
"Hey!" Shark said when he looked up. He gave her a huge smile. "You just missed Matthew. He's working with Mitch in the shop, on that old bike the shop is restoring."
Gabby nodded her head and headed to the coffee pot. Shark intercepted her with a steaming mug. She took a sip while he tugged on the ends of her hair.
"I really do love your hair like this." He remarked.
Gabby gave him a half smile. If she had a dollar, no. If she had a word from her husband every time Shark said that, she would be a happy woman.
"How are you so awake? You were drunk last night. Shouldn't you be hung over?"
"Ate a big greasy meal before I went to bed, and chugged a bottle of Gatorade." Shark placed his hand on the small of her back and walked her to the table, he pulled her chair out and handed her a fork.
Gabby set down her coffee and cut a big bite to make him happy. She made all of the expected yummy sounds.
"So what's on the agenda for the day?" Shark asked, sitting down next to her.
"Well, I'm giving the kitchen a deep scrub, gonna polish the stainless-steel appliances. I'm sure you can find something more exciting to do."
Shark shrugged his shoulders. "Lance and Tony are supposed to go with me later to the east side. But that's not till they wake up, some time after 3 or so probably, with the way they were drinking last night."
Gabby made a 'mmhhmmm' sound and as she ate her pancakes.
"I was thinking we could go to that vegan restaurant you like for lunch. The one with the killer eggplant boats. We could take my bike."
Gabby finished the last piece of fruit on her plate and set her fork down. "We could do that. But there's ah, there's something we need to talk about first."
"Is it about the hanger-on Matthew is infatuated with?"
"No, although I agree with you. It's ah, it's about you."
"What about me?" Shark leaned back a fraction like she had hit him.
"Well…Let's say, I've noticed something going on, and so have some of the guys, and they have come to me about it. And, normally we would all get together and talk to you about it, but well, they're pussies."
"Bad words. Damn. Must be serious." Shark tried to joke. "You here to kick me out of the club, Gabby?"
"No." Gabby pushed her plate to the middle of the table. "Shark, it's about your drinking."
Shark's face grew hard. "What about my drinking?"
Gabby didn't take his tone personally. "You're doing a lot of it."
"No more than the other guys."
"I don't agree with that."
"So…it takes more than a couple beers to get a buzz on for me. I'm a big guy."
"Shark. I love you. And I want to talk about this without anyone accusing anyone or getting defensive with each other. So please, just hear me out, okay?"
Shark nodded his head and scooted his chair away from the table. He leaned back and crossed his arms defensively.
"I know how much drinking you do here. And I've heard from the guys how much drinking you do at the clubhouse. And I've seen your recycling bin. You fill it up every week. If you put all those drinks together, it's a hell of a lot, Shark."
"I'm not a drunk. I don't have a problem."
"You're getting defensive. Please, just listen to me with an open mind." Gabby reached out and rested her hand on his knee.
"I think the amount of drinking you do is unhealthy. And I think you're starting to rely on it too much. This isn't an intervention. This is just me, saying I'm worried. And that I think it would do you some good to go a few weeks without drinking. Maybe….maybe let what you're trying to drown out come to the surface."
Shark got up from the table so fast he knocked his chair over. "That's…that's…wow! The woman who wouldn't ask for help if she was ON FIRE is telling me I need to open up and talk about my feelings. WOW!" Shark paced the room back and forth; he slapped his hand against the wall. He picked up Gabby's plate and threw it into the sink so hard she heard it crack.
"Do you tell me when you have a bad day? Do you call me in the middle of the night when you're crying over your husband? Do you talk to ANYONE about the baby, no the BABIES you lost? How dare you tell me to deal with my feelings. How fucking dare you!" Shark stormed out the front door, slamming it behind him.
Gabby laid in bed that night exhausted. She had given her entire house a deep clean. Counters, appliances, floors, bathrooms, den, even Kristen's room had gotten a good dusting and vacuuming. Her phone calls and texts to Shark had gone unanswered. That was very unlike him. So unlike him she had called Vin; but he assured her Shark had shown up, sober, for his errand with Tony and Lance. That made her feel a little better.
She heard a pounding on the front door downstairs and she jumped out of bed. She knew Shark's drunk knock. She stopped at the doorway to her room.
Matthew was in the hall, his hand held out to her to stop walking. "I'll get it." He assured her.
Gabby smiled. Her son, the man of the house, keeping her safe. Or so he thought at least. She heard Matthew open the door and greet Tony. She heard Shark stumble his way up the steps.
"Oh Jesus." Gabby gasped when she saw him. He had blood on his hands and his shirt. His face was beat in horribly.
"Tony dropped him off. He was at the clubhouse drinking." Matthew filled in his mother.
Shark walked right into Gabby and fell to his knees. He pressed his face in her stomach and wrapped his arms around her. He was sobbing.
"Matthew, get the first aid kit." Gabby commanded.
"Yeah." Matthew answered and went back downstairs.
"Shark." Gabby loosened his hold on her and got down on her knees as well. She took his face in her hands. "What the hell did you do?"
"Did my job." Shark mumbled. "Maybe a little too well." He shrugged his shoulders. Gabby thought back to the errand he had said he had to run today.
"Come on, Shark." Gabby stood back up and pulled him to his feet. She led him into her room and onto her bed. He pulled her down to lay next to him.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled.
"It's okay." Gabby assured him. Matthew walked in with the first aid kit and Gabby took it and shoed him back out of the room. Shark deserved some degree of privacy.
"No. I was an asshole. Bringing up the miscarriages. You didn't deserve that." He held on tight to her arm as she tried to clean off his face.
"Shark, let me clean you up."
"No, I deserve it." He shoved her away and pulled himself up further on the bed so he had a pillow to lay on.
Gabby moved up to sit next to him. "You don't deserve to get the shit beat out of you." She dabbed at his face and he let her.
"I'm alone." Shark said.
"I'm right here."
"I go home every night and I'm alone."
Gabby nodded her head and pulled out the butterfly bandages.
"I love you Gabby." He said seriously, and took her hand again.
"I love you too, Shark." She assured him.
"No, you love him. I don't know why. I love you."
Gabby reminded herself he was drunk and closed the cut above his eye.
"You're my best friend Shark, I love you."
"I just want someone to love me like you love him." Shark continued.
"I know, honey." Gabby stroked his hair. "You have a lot of people that love you."
"No. I have no one. I go home to an empty house. I just want a wife. I want kids. I've wasted my life."
"You raised my kids, Shark."
"I did. I love them. I love you."
Gabby kissed him lightly on the lips. "Close your eyes. Get some sleep. You're drunk, Shark. We can talk in the morning."
She stated to get up and Shark grabbed the bottom of her sleep shirt. "Stay. Don't leave me alone."
"I don't think that's a good idea, Shark. You're…you're in a state."
"Please don't leave me alone Gabby. I'll do anything. I'll never drink again. Just don't leave me alone."
"Okay." Gabby gave in. She pried his hand off her shirt and worked on taking his boots off. She let them plop on the floor. She grabbed her extra blanket from the closet shelf and covered him up, she wasn't going to try to get him under her comforter.
She turned off the light and crawled into bed next to him, under the comforter. Shark immediately rolled over top of her, he buried his face in her neck, in her hair, and wrapped his arms around her.
Gabby let him cling to her. When he passed out, she would roll him over. She stroked his hair with one hand, his back with another. She listened to the nonsense Shark was muttering into her neck. She could only make out every third word or so.
"Go to sleep Shark." Gabby whispered.
"Okay." Shark answered her. He set one of his legs on top of both of hers, effectively trapping her. "Don't leave me Gabby."
"I'm not going anywhere."
Gabby crawled out of bed the next morning as quietly as possible. She slipped into the bathroom and took a shower. She came back in the room in her towel and picked out clothes from her dresser. When she turned around, Shark was watching her.
"Morning." He muttered.
"Good morning. Headache?" She asked.
"Killer."
"I'll get you aspirin." She carried her clothes in the bathroom and got dressed. She came back out with aspirin and a glass of water. She handed him both.
He swallowed the pills and gulped the water down, setting the empty glass on the table.
"You want to tell me what happened to your face now?" Gabby sat on the edge of the bed.
"Picked a fight with a dealer." He answered simply and Gabby nodded her head.
"I'm sorry about last night." He started.
"It's okay."
"No, it's not. You tell me you're worried about me, and I storm out, and I come back drunk off my ass. Kind of proved your point for you."
"Yeah, you kind of did."
"What's wrong with me Gabby? Why can't I find someone?"
"Shark…" Gabby thought about the right way to phrase what she had to say. "Your expectations are too high. You-"
"I want you." Shark interrupted. He shook his head and whipped a hand down his face. "I want someone just like you. Someone loyal, someone who will stick by me, and wait 20 years for me. I want someone to be a good mom to my kids. I want kids."
"I know you do." Gabby stood up.
"You stayed with me last night. You let me cling to you in my sleep. You're still here now. Even after I blew up on you yesterday morning."
"Well….you did inspire me to get my house VERY clean."
Shark chuckled. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed and held his head in his hands. "What do I do now?"
Gabby grabbed her phone and sent Shark a contact from her list. "Call her. I see her on and off. She's helped me a lot."
Shark squinted at his phone. "You're in therapy? You never said anything." Shark stood up and walked to her, grabbing her arms. "Since when are you in therapy?"
"Since my dad died. I thought…if I told you…you'd be mad I wasn't talking to you instead." Gabby confessed.
"I'm not Casper." Shark shook his head. "I mean…" He let go of her and wiped a hand over his face. "I'm glad you're getting help. I'll call her, try it out."
"And?" Gabby led him on.
"And…I'll ah…I'll cut back on the drinking."
"Shark…when you want to sit down and get drunk, call me, come over."
"Yeah. You're right, I should. I just…." What was he supposed to say?
"Come on, I'll make you some breakfast." Gabby turned and held the door open for him. Shark followed her out, carrying his boots.
**sing song voice** Shark loves Gabby! Shark loves Gabby!
Please leave screams of joy, reviews, comments, criticisms, questions, guesses, predictions, complaints, and smiley faces in the box below!
