I'M BACK, BITCHES! Sorry for not uploading sooner, I had something else to do, called life. I had to go to the MLP wiki again... The things I do for faves. If you don't see a name, it's because I was too bored to search.
I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes, cringe and grammar mistakes.
Chapter 91: Sailor Moon meets My Little Pony (Complete)
"Before I start the videos, have you watched ToucanLDM?" Nova said.
"I like his videos." Weiss said.
"Who's ToucanLDM?" Jaune said.
"He makes MLP videos but adds Looney Tunes logic. And now I'll put his best ones so far." Nova said and started the video.
[Intro]
(The video starts, showing Celestia's castle, I don't know how the place is called, whatever. We go inside and see Celestia and Luna.)
Luna: And that is the reason my Hearts Warming Eve should be celebrated in the winter months, not in the summer.
Celestia: I wish I could help you with this matter, Luna, but I'm not sure- (Someone broke in. It was Tirek, holding two guards in his hands.)
Celestia and Luna: Tirek!
"Who's the demon?" Nora said.
"It's Tirek. A very strong villain that sucks magic." Weiss said.
"And I thought this couldn't get edgy." Blake said.
Guard at left: (coughs) I'm sorry your highness... We tried our best... except, not really. This is like the seventh or eighth time someone's broken into the castle. Actually we kinda stink in our jo- ACK!(gets crushed) Mr. Tirek, you're kinda squeezing my liver...
They laughed a little.
"And it just started! This will be very funny." Yang said.
"It's weird squeezing someone and not hearing a squeak." Nora said.
Celestia: How did you escape from Tartarus once again?
Tirek: What? No hello? How rude of you to not properly greet your guest. You being princesses and all.
"Yeah, no dignity."
"Were you trying to make another JoJo reference?" Ren said.
"Actually no."
Tirek: To answer your question, let's say that I've kept Cerberus... pretty busy.
(Flashback)
(To not go into details, he pulls out a steak, he throws it behind, Cerberus chases it after, leaving the keys to the cell behind and falls of a cliff.)
(End of flashback)
Some of them facepalmed.
"I hate it here." Weiss said.
"Also what was that pony with the flames?" Pyrrha said.
"That was Hades. The Disney version." Nova said.
Luna: I told you we should've trained Cerberus more. (Tirek grabs Celestia with his big-ass hand.)
Tirek: I have come back to fulfill my vengeance. And after seeing the majestic power of the Elements of Harmony that led to my defeat, I will absorb it, and become the greatest overlord in all of Equestria! But first, I seek princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends, for they're wanting their precious castle when I returned. Tell me where they are and I will spare your magic.
"I bet he'll do that anyway." Blake said.
Celestia: Even if I did, you're gonna take my magic anyway!
Tirek: Sad... but true. (He sucks her magic.)
"Oh come on!" Ruby said.
Luna: Celestia! (Tirek throws Celestia at her.)
They laughed a little.
(Now he grabs Luna)
Tirek: I'll ask again... WHEEERE ARE THEY?!
Luna: They are far away in Equestria right now, so I'm afraid I don't even know where they are.
Tirek: Hmm... Such a shame. Well, I guess I'll have to draw them back here then. I hear the Crystal Empire recently welcomed a little baby alicorn. Better make a stop there. (He walks away.)
"*gasp* Not Flurry Heart!" Weiss said.
"Wait, isn't he going to suck her powers too?" Jaune said.
(Then he comes back)
Tirek: But first... (He sucks her powers too.)
They laughed a little.
"That's better." Yang said.
Tirek: We will see each other again soon. (He leaves.)
Luna: If the legends are true, then I must use what's left to summon her. Spirits of Equestria! I humbly plead... Bring forth a champion in our time of need. With her wits and magic, brave and strong, the warrior of the moon, shall right this wrong. Come to us... Come to us... COME TO US! (She does her spell and collapses from exhaustion.)
"And I guess that warrior is Sailor Moon, huh?" Ruby said.
(Meanwhile in Japan, the Sailor Guardians were fighting a... monster? A demon? Anyway, Sailor Jupiter goes for a punch, the monster avoids it and scratches her face.)
"What the fuck is that? No seriously, what is that?" Yang said.
"Imagine if we were fighting monsters like that." Jaune said.
Monster: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! You'll never take me alive, Sailor Guardians!
Makoto: We'll see about that. Sailor Moon, now!
Usagi: Right. (She takes off her tiara and prepares to do her "special" attack.)
Monster: Yikes!
Usagi: Moon Tiara ACTION! (She throws the tiara.)
Monster: Hmm... I have the option to dodge... AHH! (gets hit and the wind blows her ashes)
"Holy shit..." Blake said.
"Hey Pyrrha, have you ever used your tiara as a weapon?" Jaune said.
"Actually, I haven't." Pyrrha said.
"You could use your semblance and throw it at your opponents." Ren said.
"Hmm... It could work."
"And you realised it now? Kids these days don't have imagination." Nora said.
"Hey, I was going to say that." Nova said.
Makoto: Ho-ho, alright! Way to go, Sailor Moon!
Minako: Yeah, you sure did a great job tonight.
Ami: I agree. You certainly improved at your aiming.
Usagi: (giggles) Oh shucks, Mercury! I'm speechless!
Rei: Yeah, but you gotta work on your clumsiness.
"Gottem!" Yang said.
Usagi: (shocked face) Hey, what?
Rei: Every time you went to attack our latest monster, you'd always land on either your face or your butt! Plus, you'd become more of a damsel in distress than some majesty Wonder Woman!
"That trope has to die already." Weiss said.
"I agree." Blake said.
Usagi: If I were Wonder Woman, then where's my Superman?
Rei: Tuxedo Mask has been your Superman for years, you idiot!
Usagi: At least I don't wear heels in battle!
Ruby glares at Weiss.
"What? It's not my fault that you can't even walk with heels." Weiss said.
Ami: Now now, girls. Enough of this arguing and lets just call the day, alright? Now, who's ready to study the quantum of scientifics? (... No one wants to do that.)
They laughed a little.
"I love their expressions." Yang said.
Minako: What about getting something to eat?
Usagi: (laughs like an idiot) Yay, food!
Ami: Why do I even bother.
"I can already say that she's stupid." Weiss said.
Usagi: Oh! Do you think we can go to that one bakery shop? I'm in a mood for some yummy- (suddenly vanishes, shocking everyone)
Makoto: What happened to Sailor Moon?!
Minako: This is bad...! This is bad, I tell you! (grabs Jupiter by the collar and shakes her) This is so bad! This is bad! (gets smacked)
Ami: Let's not panic here girls. I'm sure there's some logical reason as to why Sailor Moon jas vanished into thin air.
Rei: And what's that, Mercury?
Ami: (I didn't understand what she said. But they all started panicking anyway.)
"You can't explain magic." Ruby said.
"And it's ironic because her form is magical." Yang said.
(Meanwhile in Ponyville, Discord return from Disney World.)
Discord: (takes a breath) Home at last. That had to be the best vacation I've ever had! Oh I wish it never ended...
"Wait, wasn't he a bad guy?" Jaune said.
"Not anymore." Weiss said.
Discord: Oh well. I've been gone for a while. So, let's see if there's any pony who missed me. (Pulls the camera closer.) But, just between the two of us... mostly Fluttershy. (Gets all "d'aww")
Cameraman: Let go of the camera, dude.
They laughed a little.
Discord: Hello every-bAYAYAYAY! (His eyes pop out from shock. They even gasp, as he sees all ponies without magic.)
"Even his eyes gasped?" Ren said.
"Yep, it's official. No one in this world has that kind of imagination." Blake said.
(Discord snaps his fingers and his vacation outfit disappears. And his ears pop out.)
Discord: Did you all have your own Grand Galloping Gala at home without me?! (A pony, which I don't know his name, crawls to him, groaning in... magic loss, I guess.)
Gay(?) pony: Help me, strange goat man...
"Please don't." Weiss said.
(Discord kicks him off him)
Discord: Eh. Didn't really care much for that guy anyway. Wait a minute... (He brings him closer and looks at his eyes.) Those eyes... *gasp* (He gets Vietnam flashbacks.)
"I don't want to admit it... but that looked cool." Yang said.
Discord: No... No... No, it can't be...! I need to put an end to all this.
That pony again: You will? Oh thank you very much! (gets thrown)
Discord: I didn't think this would ever happen again. (He then hears girly screaming. Then all of a sudden, Sailor Moon falls on him.)
"Our hero has arrived!" Nora said.
Usagi: (cries) THAT REALLY HURTS!
Discord: (muffled) GET OFF! GET OFF OF ME!
Usagi: Who's there?
"She's sitting on his face, isn't she?" Yang said.
(The camera zooms out, showing Sailor Moon, sitting on his face.)
They all laughed.
"That's a good way to die."
Discord: (muffled) YOUR BUTT'S ON MY FACE! GET OFF ME!
Usagi: My mutts in a race in Kentucky?
They facepalmed.
"Freaking... dumbass." Weiss said.
(Yeah, he had enough. He throws her off him out of anger.)
Usagi: Hey! What's the big i-
Discord: (monster roar)
Usagi: (gets scared)
"What are these backgrounds?!" Pyrrha said.
Discord: Look here, missy! Just who in their right mind gave you permission to fall BOTTOM-FIRST on my face?! I mean granted to some, that would be the best cause of death ever, but seriously, I could have been PICASSO'D!
Usagi: A strange, funny looking creature like you should never yell at a young and (the white balance gets lowered because it was too blinding.) beautiful lady who was lost and confused! (Woosh!) I am a pretty guardian... (Woosh!) Of love and justice! (Woosh!) SAI- (Woosh!) LOR (Woosh!) MOON! (Woosh, woosh, woosh!) And in the name of the moon, I will punish you!
They were holding their laughter.
Discord: (Instead of being intimidated, he laughs.)
They also laugh.
"When he's showing it like that, it looks more dumb!" Yang said while laughing.
Discord: (finally calms down) Oh my Celestia! That was so adorable! Well then, miss "pretty navy guardian", since we're introducing ourselves... I am Discord! (Old cartoon background) Spirit of chaos and disharmony!
"Why does the background fit him?" Blake said.
Discord: And you certainly picked a bad time to come and mess with me.
Usagi: I'll have you know, I did not come here intentionally! Unlike other situations I've been in... Would you mind telling me where I am exactly?
Discord: Well if you must know, you're in Ponyville right now. Well... what's left of Ponyville. (She turns and looks at the horrible sight. It also shows an e-boy pony trying to get up. But then his legs literally break and falls down.)
"Screw him, he deserved it." Weiss said.
"Who is he?" Ruby said.
"He is-"
"We don't care!" Nora said.
Usagi: What... happened here...?
Discord: I think I know a certain troublemaker who's been stealing all the magic out of these ponies. And if we don't get out of here, we'll be next.
Usagi: (hugs Diamond Tiara) Aww! Look at this pink baby pony! It's wearing a little tiara on her head!
They all laughed. But Weiss was laughing louder.
Diamond Tiara: Help us, you fool!
Discord: (grabs Sailor Moon with his tail) Hello~! Earth to idiot~! (knocks her head) Are you even listening?
Usagi: Heehee... sorry.
Discord: Ugh... (throws her down) I just hope he hasn't gotten to my friends. Especially my dear, sweet Fluttershy...
Usagi: Fluttershy?
Discord: Yes... Fluttershy. My BPFFETT.
Usagi: ("wut?" face)
"Yeah exactly, whaaat?" Yang said.
Discord: You know, Best Pony Friend For Eternity Times Two? (Yay)
"Yeah, that makes sense." Weiss said.
"Why not BFF?" Ruby said.
Usagi: Why not just BFF?
Discord: (chuckles at her lack of Discord knowledge) Obviously you don't know me very well. (Suddenly they both hear loud stomping, sucking and screaming.) D'oh snap crackle and pop! (He teleports along with Sailor Moon near the source of the sounds)
Usagi: What the-? How did you- (Discord snaps his fingers and her ponytails shut her mouth.)
Discord: Shh! Quiet.
Tirek: I must have more magic before my trip to the Crystal Empire. (Smells something) Mmm... I smell a... familiar source of magic. (Smells again) And something... off.
Discord: He's on to us. Whatever you do Sailor Moon, don't go ou- aaaaand you're already gone.
"Mmm... who does that remind me of?" Weiss said.
"... Why are looking at me?! What about Yang and Blake?!"
"I was referring to all of you."
"Why us too?!" Yang and Blake said.
"(To Blake) Remember what happened at the docks?"
"... How do you even know that? You arrived after the fight." Blake said.
"Doesn't matter. (To Yang) And you... I don't even need to tell you."
"Hey, I never lose, so no big deal." Yang said.
"Until it happens."
"Come on, it's not like I'll lose an arm or something."
"I bet she will." Nora whispered to her team and they nodded.
"Not only that. She will also be like (gruff voice) Wow man, I lost my arm and now I'm useless. I'm gonna kill myself! Cow-a-bunga, dude!" Nova said, making them laugh. But the others heard that too. And they also laughed. Except for Yang.
"Hey, I wouldn't be depressed!" Yang said.
"Wanna bet?"
"Deal. Like that will happen."
"Wait, you won't complain about the voice?" Weiss said.
"Nah, that was funny."
Usagi: Moon Tiara ACTION! (But it does nothing but bonk his head.)
They all laughed.
"Bonk!" Ruby said.
"Ahhh, that never gets boring." Jaune said.
Tirek: Who threw that?!
Usagi: (music plays) A horrifying demon of darkness should never- (starts choking) Whoa. Bad case of Ballantyne there.
"Huh?" Weiss said.
"Probably different voice actress." Ren said.
Usagi: A horrifying demon of darkness should never take advantage of those ponies and rob them of the right to use magic! I am Sailor Moon! Pretty soldier of love and justice! And in the name of the moon, I shall punish you!
Tirek: You think you got the guts to stop me? (laughs) If you want to challenge me, you're going to have to use something better than this useless weapon. (Throws the tiara back.)
Discord: Sailor Moon! What were you thi- (The tiara stabs his head.)
"Is he going to be okay?" Jaune said.
"He's fine, he's immortal." Weiss said.
Tirek: Well, it's good to see you again, Discord. Pardon that tiara in the head. As for you little girl... you're not from here, are you? (Meanwhile, Discord removes the tiara, blue liquid comes out of the cut, he puts it in a glass and drinks it.) No wonder I smelled a new kind of magic.
"He has blue blood?" Ruby said.
"Better question, why did he drink it?" Blake said.
"To get it back in his body, uh hello?" Nora said.
"That's not how it works." Ren said.
Discord: You're not taking any more magic, Tirek! Maybe an extended stay in Tartarus would teach you not to pick with those smaller than you!
Tirek: I will never return to that forsaken prison! It REEKS in there! I will have my vengeance! And earn my place as RULER OF ALL EQUESTRIA!
"How do you even escape Hell in the first place?" Weiss said.
"Magic." Ruby said.
"..."
"..."
"Just magic?"
"Just magic."
Usagi: Not when I'm around. (She pulls out, wait let me check the wiki, the Spiral Heart Moon Rod. It plays its animation, but it gets stuck, so she shakes it to make it stop.) Mooooon... Spiraaaaaaaal... Heaaaaaaaart... ATTACK! (She launched the attack.)
"That looked stupid." Yang said.
Tirek: AHHHHHHHHHHH-... (Nothing happened.) Uhh- (gets hit)
"Whoa!" Ruby said and laughed, like the rest.
Discord: Whoa. Nice one.
Usagi: Hee hee! Thanks. (But they see Tirek getting up. And he was angry. So angry, that he took a statue, bit off its head and crushed both parts. They're so shocked, that Discord's mouth dropped like a... drop.)
They all laughed.
"Would you guys fight that guy?" Nova said.
"Hmm... probably." Ruby said.
"And then you come back injured, broken, missing a few parts."
Usagi: RUN FOR IT! (She runs away.)
Discord: (Puts his mouth back.) Beep beep! (He runs too. They hide in... uhh... wait, let me check... *searches wiki* There it is. They hide in Sugarcube Corner. Discord stops to take a breath. He then sees a giant cake, which Sailor Moon wants to eat. He takes it, making her sad.)
"Poor cake. You will be missed." Ruby said.
(Tirek breaks in. Discord starts throwing desserts... and a giant cheese sandwich... with a pony on it.)
Weiss starts laughing.
Discord: Ha ha! Bullseye! (He sees Sailor Moon eating cupcakes.)
"Same." Ruby said.
Discord: Enough stalling Sailor Moon, let's MAMBOOOO! (He drags her with him and get out of the bakery. They both run for their lives.) You know, it actually feels rather nice to be running as opposed to be- BWACK!(The both hit a wall.) They both look scared at Tirek, who's cracking his knuckles right now. But Discord looks down and sees an eaten apple, because they're at... hold on a sec... *searches wiki again* Sweet Apple Acres. He gets an idea.) Hey Tirek! Applecore!
Tirek: Baltimore.
Discord: Who's your friend?
Tirek: Me! (Then he realised the joke.) NO WAIT!
Discord: (Shoots eaten apples with an Applebloom machine gun.)
They all laughed like crazy.
"What the hell was that?!" Weiss said.
"A pony machine gun! What will they think next?" Nora said.
"What about the applecore joke?" Yang said.
"Oh, you'll soon learn. (menacing) Soon..." Nova said.
(But he ran out of ammo.)
Applebloom: (cough)
Discord: (Throws Applebloom at his face. He taunts him and they run away. Tirek gets her off his face. He then sees a poster for the Crystal Empire.)... I'll worry about those two later. (He goes to the Crystal Empire. Meanwhile, Discord uses a pony as a scope to see if he left. The coast was clear.) Alright. It looks like the coast is clear.
Usagi: That was a close one!
Discord: That was a weird one!
"Weird is a light term." Blake said.
Usagi: We can't keep running like this Discord! We need a way to stop Tirek and take him back to Hell.
Discord: Tartarus.
Usagi: Same thing!
Discord: WHATEVER! But you saw how incredibly strong he is! He'll stop at nothing to gain enough magic to get what he wants. Consider yourself lucky that he didn't get to you yet. But I don't see how your magical attacks could defeat him!
Usagi: Well there's gotta be a reason why I'm here, right? I didn't get summoned just to be chased by some power-hungry, lunatic, centaur bull thing!
Discord: Hmm... yor name is Sailor Moon, correct? So you must have been summoned by princess Luna. She must think youre a warrior from the moon who can help others.
Usagi: Hold on. My cat cannot be a princess. All she ever does is nag, nag, NAG! She rarely gives a single meow anymore...! (Her thought bubble Luna, with a poof, turns into an actual kitty.)
"Aww!" the girls said.
"It's Blake as a child." Yang said and almost everyone laughed, except for you know who.
"Very funny. Yeah it's funny, ha ha. Can we move on now?" Blake said.
"D'aww, come on! You're so cute!" Nova said, pinching her cheeks.
"Please, stop. It's annoying. I need social distancing."
Discord: No, no, I'm talking about a different Luna! You know, come to think of it, with all these Lunas together, I can definitely see that being a band name. (Takes out a photo of princess Luna, cat Luna and Luna Loud in a band.) Ooh, the things my brain can think of. Anyway, you're said to be the guardian of the moon. Then you should be able to figure out a way to defeat that monster.
Usagi: I think I have something up my sleeves. It's timw we face him off. No more running around in fear.
Discord: (Rips off his belly skin?) Agreed. (They both shake hands.)
To be continued...
"What? Why would he rip off his... was that his skin or fur?" Weiss said.
(After credits scene)
(Meanwhile, the protagonists were having fun at... wait... Yakyakistan. But then...)
Pinkie Pie: Why do I have the feeling Discord destroyed my Marsepan Mascarpone Meringue Madness cake?
"... I'm scared." Ruby said.
'If I ever want to have a horse, she would be it.' Nora thought.
'It fits you.' Nova thought.
'Thanks!'
"Okay, let's check part 2."
Previously on the MLP Meets series...
(Funny montage)
and now... PART! 2!
[Intro]
Pony singing trio: In the morning, in the evening
Ain't we got fun?
Life is sunny, oh my honey
Ain't we got fun?
We never wo- (Tirek sucks their magic and they pass out.)
"Why does he have to ruin everything?!" Ruby said.
(He uses a unicorn, that probably you fucks know, as a toothpick and then throws her.)
"Minotaur with a tie" character: Now on your left is a crystal building. On your right is another crystal building. And on your left again, and you'll be surprised by this, another crystal building!
"What a scam." Nora said.
"Squeaky-Voiced Teenager from the Simpsons" pony: We want our money back!
"Why did the cancel Futurama?!" Nova said, making an impression.
Minotaur character: Sorry, but no refunds. (Tirek sucks their magic.)
"So the only "bad" people in the show are evil wizards, monsters and swindlers?" Blake said.
"Pretty much." Weiss said.
"...That world is already better than ours."
(Tirek constipates and his hair grow. He approaches the castle. The guard at the gate sees him.)
Guard: By order of princess Cadence, I command you to stop and- (gets thrown far away, screaming like a girl)
They all laughed.
"Bruh, relax!" Yang said while laughing.
(Inside the castle, we see princess Cadence and her baby daughter.)
"Aww, she's so cute." Ruby said.
(Then Tirek breaks in.)
Shining Armor: (surprised bird(?) noise)
Tirek: Hope I'm not interrupting anything important, princess.
Cadence: You may have taken our magic before, but I will never let you take it again!
Tirek: Aww Cadence. Why your magic back then was oh so tasty, I'm afraid I'm going to have to... switch over to your daughter. She has all the magic I need to gain what I truly deserve.
S. A.: You deserve something alright. To be chained up in Tartarus! (He runs to fight, but he trips on a doll and falls of a window.)
They all laughed.
"Why are you doing this to me?" Weiss said, covering her face, but laughing.
Tirek: ... Well, as I was saying... (He slaps Cadence down and grabs the baby. But before he sucks her magic, a car horn surprises him.)
Discord: Wow. You were right, Sailor Moon. This Ford Fusion really is the best designed and active vehicle in existence.
"Huh?" Pyrrha said.
"We're missing the context." Yang said.
"Anime Ford Fusion commercials. I've seen the Dragon Ball ones." Ren said
(It switches to a live-action, low budget commercial)
The new 2018 Ford Fusion. Because showing off to weeaboos is the only way we can compete with those stupid Toyota Priuses.
Discord: Alright, alright, enough of that.
Girl in commercial: Excuse me, we're in the middle of- (He snaps his fingers and we return to the plot.)
Discord: Let's just get down to business.
Usagi: Right. (Woosh!) The ponies of Equestria never deserve a tyrannical lunatic as their ruler!
Discord: (Woosh!) Not to mention a rotten cowhead like you... (doesn't woosh so he turns around) As you may have heard this many times before, it's wrong to steal!
Usagi: I, Sailor Moon, the pretty soldier of love and justice!
Discord: And I, Discord, (shows his pecs) the handsome fighter of chaos and friendship!
"I hate it here." Weiss said.
Usagi: In the name of the moon!
Discord: And in the name of chaos!
Both: We will punish you! (The background turns off, Discord pulls the cord and it turns on again.)
Tirek: ENOUGH! WITH THE LOUSY TEAM ROCKET STYLE INTRODUCTIONS! I'LL FINISH YOU BOTH OF, ONCE AND FOR ALL!
"Yeah, let's start the fight!" Yang said.
Discord: Wait, how do you know who Team Rocket- (gets punched, sent back to a pillar, snapping his spine, I think)
Some of the cringed with that.
"I think his spine is broken..." Jaune said.
(Tirek grabs Sailor Moon. Discord sees that and snaps his fingers. Her ponytails turned into snakes, scaring Tirek and letting her go. But Sailor Moon is also scared, as she cries. Discord snaps his fingers again and the ponytails turn back to normal. Sailor Moon is like "huh?".)
"Are you freaking- who would be scared by her own hair?!" Weiss said.
(Discord jumps at him and starts punching his face. Tirek grabs him. Discord distracts him with his hand and then punches him in the face. Tirek headbutts him down. Cadence gets up from that slap and prepares her magic attack. But Tirek grabs her horn, somehow blocking the magic from ccoming out, resulting in an explosion. She falls unconscious.)
They laughed a little.
"How does that work?!"
(Sailor Moon gets up and takes her tiara.)
"The tiara again? Come on." Yang said.
Usagi: Moon Tiara- oh forget it. (She throws the tiara at Tirek, which doesn't do anything again but bouncing up.)
Tirek: THIS AGAI- (The tiara hit the ceiling, and debris fell on him. Sailor Moon laughs. Tirek flicks her nose, which hurt. Poor baby.)
They all laughed.
"That's just mean..." Ruby said.
"Like how I did to you?"
"I still won't forgive you."
"Crybaby."
Discord: (returns with a bo staff) Ha! Hoo! Ha! Parry! Spin! Hold! FLASH! (He hits his face.) Yeah, uh- yeah, I don't know how to use this.
"Now that's just painful to watch." Pyrrha said.
"How?" Jaune said.
"I trained with many weapons."
(Tirek then grabs him, eats him, blows a bubble like he's gum and spits him. Discord reforms.)
"What was that?!" Weiss said.
"Yeah, that's too weird." Nora said.
Discord: (pulls ToucanLDM in the scene) WHAT WAS ALL THAT ABOUT?!
ToucanLDM: Uhh... Unexpected comedy...?
Discord: ("unbelievable" face) (He punches him out of the castle. He is seen from the window, falling and screaming.)
They all laughed.
"Poor guy."
(Discord goes to Tirek, breathing angrily. He then roars at him, making a scary face. Tirek slaps him.)
Discord: Why you hit so hard? (Tirek throws him away.)
"I love that scream." Yang said.
(Sailor Moon pulls out the Moon Stick. But she dropped it by accident while twirling it. She takes it and jumps at Tirek. She makes a circle around her and... stabs him in the forehead, making him scream in pain.)
"He got the stab!" Nora said.
Discord cheerleaders: Rick'em, rack'em, rock'em, race!
Stick that wand into his face!
(Tirek growls at them)
Discord cheerleader: (unenthusiastically) Tirek, Tirek, he's our man
If he can't do it, GREA- (Knocks down the camera)
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
PLEASE STAND BY
They laughed a little.
"He got from Ruby's level of cheering to Blake's level of cheering." Yang said.
"Excuse me?" Blake said.
"Don't act like you don't know."
"Well excuse me that in every fight we have in the academy, we always win and it basically became a routine. If it was an actual challenge, then I would cheer."
"Yeah, that's true. Besides, we're the best in our year."
(The video returns after Discord fixed the camera, as he laughs nervously. Then Tirek grabs him again.)
Discord: Come on, Tirek! You don't want to hurt me! I have a wife and a daughter to take care of!
Tirek: What? No, you don't.
Discord: In a parallel dimension I do. (He rips a hole in time and space and pulls out his daughter, I guess.) See?
"Huh?"
"Oh, he brought her?!"
Discord's daughter: Huh? What's going on? Where am I? Why is everything so life-like here? DADDYYYYYYY!
A.U. Discord: Let go of my daughter, you handsome rip-off! (He takes his daughter back to his dimension.)
'I hate fanfics.' Ren thought.
"It's okay. I know how much you hate fanfics." Nora said.
"You always know what I'm thinking." Ren said.
"Just kiss already!" Nova said, making them blush and look away from each other.
Discord: Heh heh... Uh... (He punches Tirek again and escapes. Sailor Moon pops out of Tirek's hair. He just crush her with his horns, flattening her.)
They all laughed.
(Discord has his hand charged. He shoots lightning. But Tirek dodges it, by putting Sailor Moon in-between. She gets hit by lightning. For a moment, she turns into Star and Miraculous Ladybug. She falls down, completely burned. Then Discord does a Kingdom Hearts reference. He chooses summon and then chooses Piñata. He does the spell and summons the piñata, which is obviously from the show.)
"That thing?" Weiss said.
(The piñata sneezes candy at Tirek, the third time Sailor Moon eats the candy. After that, the piñata disappears.)
"Did she just jump tand ate the candy?" Pyrrha said.
"She did." Ruby said.
Discord: Ha ha! (Tirek punches him. Discord bounces up and down like an accordion. Tirek grabs Sailor Moon upside down.)
Usagi: AHH! You pervert!
"And that's why, skirts in a fight are a bad choice." Yang said.
"Say what you want, but I can move my legs freely with a skirt." Weiss said.
"I wear shorts. I can also move my legs freely."
"Yes, but... but skirts are just better."
"Yeah! Say it, girl!" Ruby said
"Skirts for life!" Nora said and they did a group high five. "Come on, Pyrrha, join us!"
"Oh. Sure!" Pyrrha said and joined the high five.
"For you, it's even worse. You're wearing a miniskirt." Blake said.
"Honestly, I could fight topless and don't care."
"Όπως οι αρχαίοι ημών πρόγονοι." Nova said.
"Exactly."
"You understood that?" Yang said.
"... Jaune, are you okay? Your nose is bleeding." Ruby said.
"Huh? Y-yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing. Do you have any wipes?" Jaune said. Pyrrha blushed.
"Ooh, someone has lewd thoughts, eh?" Yang said.
"Small steps." Ren said.
(Sailor Moon rips some of his fur, showing his nipple and twistes it, making him drop her.)
"That's also a reason why you should fight while being TOPLESS!" Weiss said.
"I meant, if my attire was destroyed, I wouldn't care to cover my chest." Pyrrha said.
(Tirek kicks her, sending her back. But Flurry Heart was behind her, so she accidentally knocked her out of a window. She screams in fear.)
And so the girls here. Pyrrha fainted.
(The baby was falling down. Then Timothy from Dumbo comes out of her hair.)
Timothy: You can fly! Always you can! HURRY! OPEN THEM UP! BELIEEEEVE! (Flurry Heart manages to fly, even though she always could. She then hits the guard from before in the head.)
Guard: Hello. (His deformed head and extended neck goes limp.)
"Oh thank goodness! The baby's fine!" Weiss said.
"Aww... is the baby okay...?" Pyrrha said, who just woke up.
(Flurry Heart now flies back to the castle and starts hitting Tirek back and forth. She appears out of his beard and hits him.)
"Go baby!" Ruby said.
(Flurry Heart levitates a teddy bear and throws it at him. Then the teddy bear becomes an actual bear and starts attacking Tirek. The others watch as he screams in pain. Discord even takes a picture of it. Luckily the bear turns back into a toy. Then, to add more salt in the wound, Flurry Heart does that, but instead of salt, it's dandruff. And that stings.)
"That baby is a monster." Jaune said.
"Can babies have dandruff?" Nora said.
"It's called cradle cap." Nova said.
(The baby returns to hitting Tirek back and forth. Tirek had enough. He grabs Discord like a baseball bat and hits Flurry Heart. Then her dad returned to fight, I guess, but she hit him and they both fly away. Back to the guard who recovered, he sees the two ponies coming towards him. He quickly jumps over them. He was safe. But not for to long because they turned back and hit him too, and they crashed somewhere.)
They all laughed.
"Come on!" Weiss said.
(Back to the fight, Tirek, who still had Discord in his hand, punches him in the face. His neck stretches, and it comes back and and headbutts him. Discord takes the magic mirror, which is a portal thingie, and puts it on his head.)
"Oh gosh. I wonder what is he going to look like."
"What do you mean?" Blake said.
(On the other side, Sunset Shimmer sees the giant head of human Tirek.)
"What?!" Ruby said.
"There's a human world too?" Pyrrha said.
"He looks like a biker. Or edgy magician." Nora said.
Sunset: Dear princes Twilight Sparkle,... I have so many questions in my mind right now.
(Back in the fight, Discord's looking on his watch, waiting. Then Tirek removes the mirror and breaks it on his face. He grabs him, punches him in the face multiple times and throws him to the side. Discord gets up, but muscular and wearing Goku's gi.)
"Wait, Dragon Ball?!" Yang said.
Discord: GET THAT, TIREEEEEEEEEEEK! (Shoots a Kamehameha at Tirek.)
They all laughed.
(After the explosion, Tirek runs around while being on fire. Discord does a Little Mermaid reference and a giant wave hits Tirek. It extinguishes the flames. Tirek now had a... mermaid pony through his ears. Discord and Sailor Moon did a high five.)
"Fish ponies too?!" Ruby said.
"It's from the movie."
"Wait... mermaids exist here?" Nova said.
"What's a mermaid?" Nora said.
"A legendary sea creature, half fish, half human."
"We have a similar legend. The legend of the fish faunus." Ren said.
"... What? Fish faunus don't exist?"
"We don't know that yet." Jaune said.
"Not even dolphin ones?"
"No."
"Next you're going to tell me that insect faunus also don't exist."
"..."
"... Are you serious? Okay, so far only the 3/5 of the animal kingdom, mammals, birds and lizards, exist, but not the other two, which are the biggest percentage?"
"What about amphibians?" Blake said.
"I'm putting it with the lizards for now."
"Wouldn't it be awesome if those kind of faunus existed?" Yang said.
"Yeah, so many science experiments." Nova said.
"Huh?" Blake said.
"What? New species. How are they going to learn their anatomy? By dissecting them. Either alive or dead."
"The anatomy of a faunus isn't different from a human's."
"What if someone has the internal organs of an animal? Have you ever thought of that? Even you. How do you know that you don't have the cat's internal system?"
"Because I have the ears. Faunus can't have more than one trait."
"... Fiona has."
"She does?!"
"Only the ears and nails."
"She's a rare one."
(Tirek removes the mermaid pony and angrily stares at them. He punches Sailor Moon, sending her to a crystal. Her brooch falls and breaks.)
Usagi: AH! My brooch! (Her transformation end, reverting back to normal. She falls to her knees, defeated.)
"Oh no, she lost her powers!" Ruby said.
Tirek: Well, what do you know? You're just a little schoolgirl playing dress up. Some great warrior you turned out to be. No more games. Time to obliterate you. (He charges his blast, which I don't know if it has a name. Discord sees as he shoots the blast and pushes her out of the way and takes the hit. The blast blow him up in half.)
"Whoa!" everyone said.
Usagi: *gasp* Discord! (Tirek laughs at this.)
Tirek: Now's my chance... to absorb that baby's powers! As soon as I know where I flung her off to. (He leaves the castle.)
"Is he really dead?"
"No, you idiot! I told you he's immortal!" Weiss said.
(Sailor Moon goes next to Discord's upper half, crying.)
Usagi: Please don't die, Discord... Every pony needs you... Think of your friends... Think of... Flutter-
Discord: Got' ya! (Sailor Moon was like (O_O) and he was laughing like crazy.)
They all laughed.
"Look at her face!" Pyrrha said while laughing.
Discord: You should've seen the look on your face, you were like Oh no Discord, don't die! Relax, Sailor Moon. I'm immortal. I can't die. (His upper half flies and connects with the other half.) Now let's go ahead and show this guy what we- (He gets hit in the crotch.)
Usagi: I LITERALLY THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! DON'T YOU EVER PULL THAT TRICK AT ME LIKE THAT AGAIN, DISCORD!
"Oh, that's so us." Yang said.
(Discord got so scared that the yellow in his eyes drained and turned into piss.)
'Who wouldn't be scared?' the boys thought.
Discord: Okay. In retrospect, I may have deserved that. (Shakes it off) Shall we proceed?
Usagi: We shall. (Discord then fixes the brooch with his magic.) Moon!
Discord: Chaos!
Both: POWER! (And the transformation starts.)
"Wait, he's transforming too?" Jaune said.
"I wonder what he'll look like." Ruby said.
DUE TO TOUCANLDM NOT HAVING THE BUDGET OR PATIENCE TO ANIMATE ANY TRANSFORMATION FILLER SCENES... WE'RE JUST GONNA SKIP AHEAD AND CONTINUE WITH THE PLOT.
"Aww..."
'Thank goodness.' Weiss said.
WE APOLOGIZE IF THAT'S ALL YOU CAME HERE TO SEE. ACTUALLY NO WE DON'T.
(They transformed.)
"What is he wearing?" Yang said.
"So the fancier the dress, the stronger you get?" Ruby said.
(Discord telepathically bring Tirek back to the castle.)
Tirek: (sees them) This is IMPOSSIBLE!
Usagi: When it comes to friendship Tirek, nothing is impossible.
"Aah, I hate moments like these." Yang said.
"But they only know each other for 20 minutes." Blake said.
Discord: You said it, girl. We may have known each other briefly, but it's still friendship!
"That's cooperation, not friendship." Weiss said.
Usagi: Ready?
Discord: Ready.
Both: (they grab the Moon Stick) Moon... Chaotic... Friendship... RAY! (They hit Tirek. I guess from how I see it, he's probably experiencing the worst pain, complete with nightmare fuel compilation in the background. Probably the most disturbing part is Sailor Monon smiling. Discord even puts 3D glasses to watch. After 10 seconds of torture, Tirek dies from the explosion of the blast, blowing also up the castle, sending the top flying... and falling without breaking.)
"... What the fuck was that?" Pyrrha said.
"Especially the background. It was pure nightmare." Jaune said.
"That attacks screams friendship." Blake said.
(Now that he's dead, the magic returned to everyone.)
Discord: Ho ho ho ho! This calls for a celebration with my rubber band! (He shows rubber band band on his hand.)
They all laughed a little.
"Why did I laugh at this?" Weiss said.
"Take notes. This is how you make a pun." Nova said.
"Yeah, yeah, keep mocking my humor." Yang said.
(Cadence wakes up, Flurry Heart teleports back and fixes her mother's horn and they hug each other.)
Cadence: Thank you so much for saving us. Like that blue alien creature, we'll never forget the day you two used your unique power of friendship to defeat our greatest enemy. (She telepathically moves the Superman crystal statue to make a Sailor Moon statue.)
"Wait, he made one with Superman too?" Jaune said.
"Superman, Batman, Spiderman." Weiss said.
(Then Celestia and Luna appear.)
Celestia: Discord? I never thought you'd be up to face Tirek again.
Discord: Yeah, well... not the most ideal thing to come back to after vacation. But, eh, it's whatever.
Usagi: Hey, are you by chance princess Luna?
Luna: Indeed, Sailor Moon. It was I who brought you to Equestria. For a thousand years, I've heard tales of another moon princess and it's guardians of the solar system. And their leader, the princess who resided within the moon, reined with strength and courage. And for what she did... for what you did, you have our deepest thanks.
Celestia: And our gratitude as well.
"The guardians of the solar system... by that logic, shouldn't the sun be the leader?"
"I guess because every planet has a moon." Jaune said.
"... This doesn't make sense."
"I mean-"
"No, I get it. It's just every planet rotates around the sun. And since every planet has a moon rotating around them,... look, the sun should be the leader, the planets as the guardians, and the moon as a mere soldier."
"You're right. In fact, there should be a lot of moon soldiers." Weiss said.
"Actually, how strong are the Sailor Guardians?" Yang said.
"Well, according to the internet... a few are strong enough to take on Beerus." Nova said.
"Huh?! That strong?!"
"I guess just because something looks girly, doesn't mean that's it's weak." Pyrrha said.
"You said it." Nora said.
"Oh yeah, you're wearing pink." Nova said.
Usagi: I have one small favor to ask you. Next time you summon me, don't make me fall from the sky. I, kind of almost gave a certain someone a... Picasso face.
Luna: (chuckles) I'll try my best next time.
Usagi: Perfect! Give me a few seconds before I get back home. Discord... I hope we can see each other again. You have been a good and... interesting friend.
Discord: Same here, Sailor Moon.
Usagi: I want you to know my real name. It's Usagi.
Discord: Well, it's been great meeting you Serena- I mean Usagi. I'll miss you. (They hug.)
"Aww!" Ruby said.
"Wait, why Serena?" Weiss said.
"Dub name." Nova said.
(After that, Luna teleports Sailor Moon back to her world.)
Luna: She's gonna be a great queen someday. (She quickly shuts her mouth.)
Celestia: Wait, what? She must be stopped!
"You've got to be kidding me!" Weiss said.
"Why?" Ruby said.
"They believe that queens are evil."
"Why?" Blake said.
"Because... I don't know, they get crazy with power or something and they become evil."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that."
Luna: Oh no you don't! (They start fighting. Cadence covers Flurry Heart's eyes with her wing, but the baby puts it down because she wants to see the fight.)
(Back in Japan, we see Usagi's boyfriend, Mamoru, I guess, worrying about her. He sees Ami coming.)
Mamoru: Any luck finding her?
Ami: I'm sorry Mamoru. No luck has of yet.
Mamoru: She must be out there somewhere. I can't rest unless I know she's safe.
Ami: I know. Me too. I'll check downtown again. (She walks away.)
Mamoru: Usagi... where have you gone to? (As the talk brought, she popped out of the ground, making him fall.)
They all laughed.
"She-she came out of the ground!" Pyrrha said while laughing.
"At least it's better than falling from the sky!" Yang said.
Usagi: Uhh, well... it's somewhat of improvement from before... (She hears Mamoru's groans. He gets up, doing that sexy hair wave.)
Mamoru: Usagi.
Usagi: *gasp* Mamo! (She runs to him, giggling and hugs him. He chuckles by how cute she is.)
Mamoru: Usagi, I was so worried about you.
Usagi: Oh Mamo... Let me explain about what happened, but it's gonna sound complicated a-and hard to belie- (He covers her mouth.)
Mamoru: You can tell me all about it later. For now, let's go find your friends and let them know that you're safe. (He smells something weird.)
Usagi: What's the matter?
Mamoru: You smell like frosting, apples and... pony sparkle? (She giggles.)
"How does he know what pony sparkle smells like?" Nora said.
"That's a good question." Weiss said.
(Back in Equestria, Discord appears outside Twilight's castle.)
Discord: Hey, what's this? (He reads the note.) (In his mind) We'll be back from Yakyakistan within the next couple of days. If any concern should arise, please inform the mayor, as apparently we still keep her around despite me being the highest authority of princess. Yours truly, princess Twilight Sparkle. Out of aaaall the places they could go to on Equestria, they went there?
"That's also a good question."
"Actually, yeah, why do they need a mayor if they have a princess?" Yang said.
(He looks behind and sees the parachute with the protagonists landing. He squeals from excitement.)
Discord: Fluttershy! Everypony else that's not Fluttershy! (He goes and hugs her.) Thank goodness you're alright. Back so soon?
Fluttershy: We've heard what happened back in Yakyakistan. He didn't come after us, thank goodness. If it wasn't for Pinkie Pie's senses, we would have never been prepared for Tirek's invasion.
Discord: Wait, she can sense Tirek with her Pinkie sense?
Fluttershy: Weeeell... not exactly... (Then Pinkie tackles Discord.)
"Wait, what?"
Pinkie: You ruined my cake, Discord! Now I'm going to assault you with all the fruitcakes that I have stored for this year's Heart Warming Eve!
"Oh, that's bad." Weiss said.
"I know, right? Who actually likes fruitcakes?" Nora said.
Discord: ... (laughs) Ponies are craziest peoples! HI HI HE HE HA HA HA HA!
"So many references that we don't get!" Ruby said.
(After credits)
(Back at the Crystal Empire)
S.A.: You won't escape from me this time, Tirek! I've got my back up jar! (Bring the guard as a meat shield. But he sees Luna and Cadence having Celestia tied up like Hannibal. Yeah, he had enough. He threw the guard down and then he collapsed.)
They all laughed.
"Poor Shining Armor." Weiss said.
And done! I hope I'll never do a MLP chapter again. Anyways, like, follow, leave a review AND NOT A REQUEST, send me a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon!
