Dick: 'Well, Ali Baba had them 40 thieves'

Jason: Scheherazade had a thousand tales!'

Tim: 'Well master you're in luck, cause up your sleeves'

Damian: 'You've got a brand of magic never fails'?

Dick: Yes!

Jason: Woohoo!

Tim: congrats, Damian! You got it!

Dick: wait a second...

Jason: what is it?

Dick: Sweet? Are you... sobbing?

DON'T JUDGE ME.

Jason: sh*t. What did you- hold up, was I censored?

Tim: what's wrong?

I accidentally made myself cry... I AM NOT OK. Prisma19, I'm planning on stretching it out. I loved the idea of a genuine conversation between them so much that I did math about it. :P

Dick: how? And WHY did you do math?

Press the button.

Jason: boop.


Before Dick could get another word out, Alfred came into the room claiming that it was time for lunch. While everyone fell into the kitchen, some literally (just for the heck of it) Dick grabbed Jason's arm and led him off to the side.

"Jason, is everything alright?" he asked. Jason shrugged.

"Uh, yeah," he said. His gaze narrowed slightly. "Why?"

"Well, I was thinking…" Dick said. Jason scoffed.

"That's dangerous for you," he said. Dick frowned at him.

"Damian had a point earlier, you know," he said. "You joke about your death quite a bit."

"Like I said, it's better to joke about it than be depressed all the time," Jason said. Dick bit his lip.

"Yeah, but- "

"Listen, Dick," Jason interrupted him. "I'm fine. I've gotten over it. I've been alive for… how long?"

"Ten years," Dick said. Jason smiled at him.

"Exactly," he said. "You think I'd have gotten over my death in ten years."

Dick chuckled to himself.

"Yeah… you're right," he said. He put a hand on Jason's shoulder. "That's good to know. You really are good?"

"Yeah… I'm good," Jason said. Dick squeezed his shoulder slightly and entered the kitchen. Jason hesitated outside of the kitchen door for a second, eyes narrowed in thought.

Yeah… I'm good…


Lunch was an uneventful affair. There weren't any food fights, no yelling, and no sauce. They figured that Alfred had taken away their sauce privileges after the last time.

Jason was making more jokes than usual, which set off alarms in the boys' heads. They kept an eye on him, but so far, he seemed his normal self, just plus a couple of extra jokes here and there. Lunch ended pretty soon, and they were back in the living room, Dick in the Story Chair, ready to tell another story. He snuck a message to Batman and cleared his throat.

"Alright, Amal and the Genie."

He thought for a moment. Something about his character selection felt off. He figured there was something about the story that made him NOT want to make him the main character, but, deciding that he couldn't remember, he continued with it anyway.

Once upon a time, there was a young man named Jason.

"Two stories in a row?" Jason asked. "I feel honored."

"It isn't the first time though," Tim said. Jason shrugged.

"I mean… does that matter?" he asked. Tim thought for a moment.

"I suppose it doesn't," he admitted.

He was wandering the desert for some reason, I can't remember what that reason is right now, so let's move on.

He spotted a genie, though I suppose he'd be more of a djinn… aren't djinns evil genies? Hang on…

Dick pulled out his phone and typed something in. He nodded to himself, went, "ahh" and put his phone away.

Ok, so… djinn aren't necessarily good or evil. But they seldom do good, and since genies are typically portrayed as good guys, I'll just stick with it.

So, Jason ran into a djinn named… Damian.

Both boys looked at each other and shrugged. Steph frowned at Dick.

"Why is Damian the evil genie?" she asked.

"Because if someone asked me to grant their wishes, I would do it in a way that amuses me," Damian said. Mandy laughed.

"I like this kid," she said. "Why couldn't he have been the one I ran into years ago?"

Mari and Jake shared a knowing glance. They would rather it was their dad… at least this way, they still HAVE their aunt Mandy.

Dick glared at her before turning a non-glaring gaze to Steph.

"Because this story ties into another one," he said.

"How?" Cass asked. Dick smirked at her and winked.

"You'll see," he said.

Now, Jason knew that djinns were dangerous business. He checked his pockets for any sort of weapon, found only salt and an egg ("That's a pretty sad find." -Steph) ("A handful of salt? That's an AMAZING find!" -Jason) and decided to confront the djinn.

Now, djinns have pretty big egos.

This got an uproar of laughter from the boys, Damian included. He was laughing because he didn't think he had such a big ego (or, at least, not as big as his father's) and the other two… well, they disagreed with Damian.

Jason took a deep breath and walked up to the djinn.

"Hey!" he shouted. Damian the djinn turned around and stared him down.

"What do you want?" he demanded. Jason fingered the egg in his pocket, coming up with a plan immediately.

"I can't think of a plan that fast," Jason said. Dick shrugged.

"You give yourself too little credit," he said.

"I want to challenge you! No magic allowed!" Jason said. Damian raised an eyebrow at him.

"You're joking… right? Please tell me you're joking."

"I am NOT joking," Jason said. Damian frowned at him.

"Why are you even picking a fight with me? I'm literally not doing anything."

"The original story didn't have a reason for it, and the storyteller right now doesn't have the brainpower to come up with a reason, so I have no idea," Jason said. Damian shrugged.

"Fair enough," he said.

The boys snickered a little bit. Jake checked his phone.

Jason pulled out the egg slightly, sticking it in his sleeve. He bent down and grabbed a rock, handing it up to Damian the djinn.

"Squeeze this rock until water comes out," he said. Damian raised his eyebrow again.

"Are you the biggest idiot or what?" he asked. "That's not a thing that happens, genius."

"What? Scared you won't be able to do it? Cause I can do it," Jason taunted him. Damian reared back, appalled at the thought that some mortal could do something that he couldn't. He snatched the rock out of Jason's hand and squeezed as hard as he could, but, obviously, no water came out. He growled and threw the rock on the ground.

"Told you, it's impossible," he said. Jason smirked and bent down to pick the rock back up. He snuck the egg from his sleeve into the palm of his hand. Thankfully, the djinn didn't seem to notice.

Jason whistled appreciatively.

"Smooth," he admired. Tim and Damian nodded their heads in agreement. Steph let out a small yawn and leaned her head on Barbara's arm. Barbara didn't move.

Jason didn't have to try very hard to break the egg against the rock. The egg white spilled out over the sides of the rock, surprising Damian to the point where he got annoyed.

"Uh-oh," Cass said.

"How did you…? That was rigged!" he claimed. Jason shrugged one shoulder nonchalantly.

"What does that even mean?" Jason asked. Dick frowned.

"'Nonchalantly'?" he asked. Jason nodded.

"Yeah."

"Without emotion," Tim said. "Like, no enthusiasm, no excitement, etc."

"Oh," Jason said. He rolled his hand for Dick to continue.

"Want to try something else?" he asked. Damian nodded.

"Yes."

Jason shrugged again.

"Ok," he said. He dropped the rock and picked up a second one. "Crush this stone into dust."

"Seriously?" Damian asked. Jason waved the rock back and forth. Damian huffed. "Fine."

He snatched that stone out of Jason's hand, too, and squeezed it as hard as possible. He got irritated and handed it back to Jason.

"Let me guess…" he groaned. Jason squeezed it a little bit and little bits of powder fell from his fingers.

Now, I don't know why the djinn from the original didn't get suspicious. The original writer's excuse is that they're dumb. My excuse is called 'plot convenience.'

This got more snickers out of everyone.

Instead of using the sand that was around them, Jason let the salt slip through his fingers because it needed to be important to the story somehow. Damian huffed at him and forced a smile on his face.

"Know what? How about I give you a meal and you can sleep the night with me," he suggested. Now, thankfully, Jason wasn't a TOTAL idiot. He suspected something was up. But the allure of food made him say yes.

Jason sighed. Dick smirked and winked at him.

Damian the djinn wasn't a good cook, but, knowing Jason, he probably ate all of it anyway.

"Again, Damian's eggs are edible," Tim said. Jason and Barbara nodded, Barbara being a little more careful since Steph had fallen asleep on her. Kory frowned in their direction.

"Is she alright?" she asked. Barbara smiled at her and started stroking Steph's hair.

"Yeah… she's just been having a little bit of trouble sleeping lately," she said. "No big deal."

Kory nodded and turned her attention back to Dick.

That night, when Damian the djinn had finally gone to sleep, Jason crawled out of bed, stuffing the pillows under the blanket to make it look like he was still there.

"I can count on one hand the number of times that trick has worked for me," Jason said. Damian turned to him curiously.

"How many?"

"None. It's never worked."

This made Damian, Tim, and Dick laugh. But then, Dick frowned when he remembered the next part of the story, and why he had had doubts about making Jason Amal. He cursed to himself. He was SUCH an idiot. Now he didn't want to finish the story.

"Dick, you alright?" Barbara asked. He shook his head.

"I just remembered the next part of this story," he said. Barbara tilted her head to the side.

"What is it?" she asked. Dick bit his lip.

"Well… it's the reason I almost didn't make Jason the main character," he said. He put his head in his hands. "But stupid me, I ignored that…"

Jason shrugged.

"Go for it," he said. "What's the worst that can happen?"

Dick frowned apologetically at him.

Jason wandered off to the side of the cave. When dawn came, he saw the djinn stand up and grab a club… he stood over the pillows, where he thought Jason was still sleeping, and started… beating the pillows up… with the club… thinking Jason was there…

Tim, Barbara, and Dick cast concerned looks at Jason, who gave them all a confused look. He then sighed, irritated.

"Guys, it's only a big deal if you make it a big deal," he groaned. "Ten years, it's fine, I'm all good, finish the story."

Dick nodded. He had a point… it was only going to be a big deal as long as they treated it as such. Jason clearly didn't want the sympathetic looks and the drama his death brought up.

The djinn left the cave. When he got back, he saw Jason sitting on a pillow, trying to start a fire and whistling merrily to himself. When Jason spotted him, he smiled and waved.

"Hey there, djinn!" he greeted cheerfully. "I just thought I'd get breakfast started. How'd you sleep? Hopefully better than me, considering some giant big kept pestering me. Almost felt like I was being hit with a club or something."

To Dick's relief, this got laughter from everyone (except for Steph, who was still asleep.) Even Tim and Barbara laughed a little bit, though it was a tad stiff.

The djinn was so scared of this that he flew into a lamp. Now, I COULD write out an ending to this, but I love the ending of the original so much, that I'll quote it:

"Well, at this the genie gave a great shriek and whistled himself into an old oil lamp that lay on the floor of the cave. He wasn't seen again for hundreds and hundreds of years until a young lad called Aladdin happened to find the lamp. But that is another story, isn't it?"

"The End," Dick said. He flopped his tongue around in his mouth for a little bit. All of this talking and storytelling was beginning to make his tongue tired. He glanced at the time. He could probably get in two more stories before they headed to bed. He wanted to get into bed early tonight, get at least a couple hours of sleep, then head out as Batman. After that, he could sleep for however long he wanted.

Jake checked his phone again. There was only five percent left… they were so close, and yet, so far away. They needed to stall just a little while longer.

"Is Damian going to be the genie in Aladdin?" Mari asked. She had glanced over at Jake's phone and knew he needed a little more time. Dick nodded at her.

"That's what I was planning," he said. Damian scoffed and crossed his arms.

"Who am I going to attempt to beat to death this time?" he asked. Dick smirked at him.

"Actually, you get to be helpful," he said. Damian's body fell and he had a genuinely sad look on his face.

"Oh, man…" he complained. "I wanted to beat the Joker to death…"

"Would you use a crowbar?" Jason asked. Dick, Tim, and Barbara flinched, and Damian just shrugged.

"If that's what I had available at the time, yes," he said. "Then… I don't know, maybe my sword?"

"Beat him, then leave him there," Jason suggested. "He'll bleed out."

Dick grimaced. Barbara averted her gaze, and Tim started twiddling his thumbs. Damian nodded in agreement with Jason, not noticing their reactions.

"Yeah, that is a slower death," he said. "Any particular area in mind?"

Mari and Jake shared a confused look about Dick, Barbara, and Tim's reactions to the conversation. Sure, it was a horrifying conversation to have, but considering the field they worked in and the fact that they lived in Gotham, there wasn't really much to genuinely freak out about, was there?

Jake looked at his phone. 2 percent.

Jason snapped his fingers suddenly.

"A warehouse," he said. Damian nodded thoughtfully.

"Yeah… closed-off area, no witnesses… almost untraceable…"

"When you think about it, the majority of bad guys set up shop in warehouses," Cass interrupted. Dick looked like he was ready to burst into tears, which offered up the impression that Jason wasn't pulling these things out of the seat of his pants. "So, maybe do it somewhere else?"

"What if someone walks in on us?" Damian asked. "I mean, I don't want father to catch me beating up the Joker with a crowbar."

"You fail to realize that the Joker is dead," Tim interrupted. Jason frowned.

"What? Since when?" he asked. Dick shrugged, getting his composure back under control.

"Since Tim shot him," he said nonchalantly. Everyone (except Barbara's) eyes widened.

"You killed the Joker?" Damian asked. Tim turned a little red and nodded.

"With a GUN?" Jason asked. Tim shrugged and nodded, face getting a little redder. Jake looked down at his phone. The information was finished downloading and would be at his disposal whenever he wanted it. If he wanted more information about what they were all talking about… well, he could look that up later so as not to arouse suspicion.

"Dude, what- "

"I feel like that's a story for another day," Barbara interrupted Jason. She turned her attention back to Dick, who was breathing in a way that only she recognized. He was on the verge of bursting into tears and totally freaking out. It never looked like it, but his breathing was a clear indicator. "Dick, what's the next story?"

"Snow White and the Seven Dwarves," he said, his voice even. Barbara nodded. Kory turned to her kids.

"You guys ready to leave now?" she asked. "Mandy has to get back home."

Jake and Mari looked at each other. Mari had an odd feeling that her dad wasn't quite alright right now, and she knew that aunt Barbara knew it, too. She figured that her aunt knew better how to care for her dad if something was up.

"Yeah, I'm ready," she said. Jake nodded.

"Me too," he said. They gave their dad one last hug before heading out the door with Kory and Mandy.

After breathing carefully for a little bit, Dick shook his head to clear his thoughts. He smiled at everyone.

"Alright, like I said," he said. "The next story is Snow White."


Jason: ok, first of all, ouch.

Dick: Jason, are you over your death?

Jason: f*ck yeah, I am. Like she said, it's been- WHY AM I BEING CENSORED?!

I am going to go cry now. :D

Dick: Sweet, no...