Chapter Eight

Edward leaned his elbows on his parted knees, his green eyes intense, flaming almost as he locked them onto mine. I forced myself to look away, the effect of his gaze ever present in the pit of my stomach.

"I honestly wouldn't know, Edward," I sighed, taking the shot he poured me and sipping it carefully.

"Please…" Edward let out a strangled groan and rubbed his face. "Why are you so fucking oblivious to everything?"

"Oblivious?" I felt slightly attacked. Sitting back, I felt the cold leather of the couch through the fabric of my thin shirt.

"Yeah, you walk around here with my shirt on, looking delectable, fucking adorable and hot as sin with your hair up like this. You keep crawling back to a guy who clearly doesn't deserve you and is with you just because it's easy and very convenient for him. You stay while you know he's fucking someone else long-term. You keep running off to your mom and tell her about every bad fucking thing he does and listen to her, and tell her you're going to leave. Yet, you're still here." He shook his head, a frown on his face. I felt flabbergasted; I didn't know what to say to him next. Apparently, that didn't matter, since he clearly wasn't done yet. "How can you still kiss him, or fuck him for that matter, when you konw that he is in love with someone else? How the fuck do you justify staying at that godawful apartment with him, cleaning up after him and cherishing some kind of highschool sweetheart thing that was obviously dead the day after graduation? This is the real world, B. This is not some kind of movie. You deserve more than this, you deserve the fucking world. You can't be this young and unhappy. I won't allow it."

I felt furious for being lectured like this, his words sharp daggers through my heart. Taking the bottle, I unscrewed the top and put the top against my lips. I tilted my head back, feeling the alcohol pour down my throat. I swallowed eagerly, letting the burn take over. I was done caring. Edward wanted to play dirty and take his anger out on me?

All of a sudden, the bottle was gone. Edward swung it away from me. The glass crashed against the floor, the contents of the high-quality whiskey spilling from it's broken container.

That moment, I'd had enough. I was done fighting whatever this was. I felt like the bottle, broken and ready to unveil everything within me. I got to my feet, pacing back and forth in front of the television.

"You know what?" I was borderline yelling now, tears burning behind my eyes. "You're one to talk, sure! Lecture me on healthy relationships when you don't even love your own girlfriend. Treating me like a fucking child, telling me what to do, talking to my mother behind my back like I'm some kind of charity case!"

"I'm not treating you like a fucking child, B!"

He rose to his feet, standing awfully close to me.

"Then why are you talking to me like I am one?" I threw my hands up, unable to find words. "Why are you so fucking mad at me, Edward? I'm honestly trying to work things out, to figure the fuck out of what I want with my life."

His furious expression morphed into something else entirely.

"I'm not mad at you, can't you see? I just don't like the way you handle things with Mike. Just leave him! I can't stand the way he treats you. And trust me, you're not a child."

His eyes bore into mine.

"Yes, I am in a relationship with a woman I don't love. But I'm seeing to it that I end things. That's what's happening tomorrow and you know it."

"Well, maybe being in a relationship has been easy and convenient for me. Ever thought of that? Maybe I like not coming home to be all on my own, every day. Maybe we're both the bad guys, equally at fault. Maybe Mike and I have not slept together for an entire year because I've already set my foot down, and I sure as hell don't kiss him. I couldn't. I can't. And I never will again, since I am actually in fucking love with someone else!"

"You're in love with someone else?" Edward looked as though he had just gotten a slap across the face.

"Yeah. I'm falling for a guy. Hard. But he doesn't feel the same way and I don't think he'll ever look at me like I'm desirable. He just wouldn't." I shook my head in disbelief.

"He'd be a fool not to."

Edward's expression fell, he looked totally lost. When he didn't meet my eyes, I grew angry.

"You want to be angry? Well, I am fucking angry. I can't stand the sight of that Irina of yours. I can't even listen to her voice without growing fucking sick to my stomach. You want to go ahead and call me an oblivious fool? Well, grab a fucking mirror and stare back at one for a change. It takes one to know one, Cullen." I spat his last name out like it was an insult.

His next words hit me like a sledgehammer.

"I can't stay away from you anymore, B. I just can't. I don't have the strength."

Water welled up in his eyes. I didn't know whether the tears were from anger or sadness, or perhaps both.

I can't stay away from you.

Fuck, did he just say that? Did that mean...?

"But I guess it doesn't even matter now. Now you know, but I won't stand in the way of your happiness. I hope your next guy is a better fit than Mike Newton. That's all I'm going to say about it."

His head hung low, as though he'd just gambled high and lost.

The irritation in me bubbled, mixing with an immense joy that perhaps… perhaps he actually felt something for me.

"Christ, you are stupid! I didn't know guys your age could have this little human knowledge."

He simply shook his head. "What am I stupid for then? Feel free to insult me while you're staying in my house."

Toxic motherfucker.

"Because it's you, asshole! I'm falling for you!" I screamed, throwing my arms in the air with annoyance.

His eyes shot back up to mine, his anger long gone. I felt my heart skip a beat at the slight flare I saw light up in his vibrant gaze.

"What?"

He acted as though he didn't believe me. I closed the space between us, throwing every care I used to have out of the window. I pulled on his shirt, balling it up in my fist until I couldn't get him any closer.

I wanted this.

I needed this.

I had to have this.