Thank you to Eddy13, campy, Bobtrumpet, F86Sabre53 CajunBear73, Boris Yeltsin, TheKPFan, campy, Uberscribbler, Jimmy1201, Molloy, Anonymoose, and Quathis for reviewing and to everyone for reading.
Thanks also to everyone who has favorited this or any of my other stories.
Finally, props to campy for looking over this chapter.
KP © Disney; Original Characters © the Author
The resemblance of any characters in this story to any individuals, alive or dead, is still just a hoax.
No Biglee
Kim surveyed the surreal scene. She knew it was unlike any mission Team Possible had ever been on. While they had dealt with jerks like Biglee before—Will Du came to mind, though she acknowledged he was getting less annoying—this was the only one to be eaten.
By anything.
People might be hit, and injuries did occur, but this was the only time anybody had died.
She then winced as she realized she was wrong.
She personally may have never encountered death in the field but prior to this mission was their showdown with Warhok and Warmonga. Being blown up in a collision with a spaceship ranked up right there with being eaten by a rampaging prehistoric creation.
True, the aliens and the TV reality personalities were such the jerks, but that wasn't the issue that was suddenly bothering Kim. It was what Ron must be dealing with; he had really stepped up at Graduation, and Kim once again found her heart aching for her best friend-boyfriend and what he had to do on that day, and what he might be grappling with now.
Ron, meanwhile, rubbed his chin, as if lost in deep thought. It was an unaccustomed look for him, though Kim mused it looked good on him. Her man was full of surprises. Before she could get even more lost in her reverie about aliens and Graduation and her BFBF's potential remorse, Kim made herself focus on the here and now.
"What's the sitch, Ron?" she asked.
"That dinothingy. He sure looks like he's got a crummy tummy."
"Excuse me?" she wondered.
"Believe me, KP, the Ronster knows GI distress when he sees it and that lizard's got it."
"Well, he did just eat someone," Justine observed in her customary bored-yet-superior tone.
"What are you thinking, Stoppable-san?" Yori asked, ignoring the young academic.
Ron pursed his lips and seemed to come to a decision.
"Well, I was thinking about the time with the spinny ride at the carnival …"
Justine cocked an eyebrow. "I don't see what the Middelton Fair has to do with our current predica—" Justine said before she was interrupted by Kim.
"Whoa!" Kim's eyes opened wide as she realized where Ron might be going with this thought. "You aren't serious, are you?"
"As serious as a Barkin pop quiz, KP."
The young hero looked at her partner's determined expression and made a snap decision. Even if he was suggesting what she thought he was, she'd support him, though she feared the results were going to be gorchy.
"Okay, what do we do?" she asked, all business.
That settled the issue for the others, even Justine. If Kim was prepared to move forward, they would follow. She then turned to her boyfriend and took him aside.
"I just want to make sure: you really want to do this, Ron?"
"C'mon, Kim, I know what I'm doing."
"I'm not saying you don't. I just don't want you to get hurt."
Two sets of eyes met. Kim smiled, then did something she rarely if ever did in the field: she leaned in and gave her guy a kiss.
His goofy smile told her the buss had worked its magic. Then the goofiness left his face, replaced by his serious face.
"Yo, Wade, you up for giving me a boost?" he asked the tech guru's image on the Wadebot's monitor.
"I don't see why not. What are you planning on doing?"
Ron explained.
"O-kay," Wade said, unable to hide his skepticism. "If you say so …"
"I do," he said confidently before he extended his hands and grasped the outstretched arms of the Wadebot. "You guys might want to stand back."
The group took a couple of steps back.
"Uh, no, like behind that news truck."
Kim and the others did as Ron suggested and then the body of the Wadebot began to rotate, spinning in circles, at an ever-increasing velocity. Soon, Ron was aloft, and screaming, holding on for dear life. Kim wasn't sure if he was terrified or having the time of his life.
She focused on her partner as he spun round and round when a microphone appeared in front of her face. With it was a familiar newscaster.
"Ms. Possible, what's going on?" Tricia Labowski asked.
Kim paused, then replied with confidence, "The Ron Factor."
"The Ron Factor?" the anchor asked in reply.
"You'll see," Kim said with a smirk. "Right about now," she added, as Ron let go of the Wadebot and ballistics took over.
Kim and the others watched as Ron sailed up into the sky tracing a perfect arc — it was Wade, after all, who did the necessary calculations and told him when to let go — before he reached the apogee and then began to fall to earth. The cameramen zoomed in on the figure of the airborne teen, sure they would not see anything this strange for a long time to come.
Kim bit her lip, willing Ron to land safely. Ron, meanwhile, let loose a manly scream of courage, which was cut short by an "oof" as he slammed into the belly of the dinothingy. That, in turn, prompted a tremendous belch from the creature which convulsed and then disgorged the lumpen figure of B.S. Biglee with a tremendous burp. The washed-up TV personality sailed up into the sky, trailing a great stream of dinospit behind him.
"Greechy!" Kim said as she cringed.
"Ew!" Wade agreed.
"I think I'm going to be sick," a suddenly green and humbled Justine muttered.
Even Yori, the ever-unflappable ninja, looked as if she'd just eaten some very bad sushi.
Biglee then came down, falling directly on Ron, who yelped and lost no time in pushing off the egomaniacal celebrity as he said, "Personal space, Dude."
Kim came running up. "Ron, are you okay?"
"Ron? Who's he?" Mr. Biglee sputtered as he got to his feet. "You should be asking about me, lady!"
"So not happening," Kim said. The look of disgust on her face was caught on camera by Tricia Labowski's cameraman as was her comment.
"What? I'm huge!" he protested, spreading out his arms wide.
"He's got you there, KP," Ron said.
"The only one who's got me is you," she said warmly to her BF, before turning to Biglee. "You, though, are fired," she snapped as she pushed the obese conman out her way before she hugged Ron, despite his being covered in spit.
"You were awesome!" she said warmly. "Though you do need a shower."
"Yeah, I—" Ron agreed, as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"Ms. Possible, your team has once again saved the day!" Tricia enthused. "Do you have anything to say to the people of Middleton?"
"It's no big. It's what we do," Kim said modestly.
Meanwhile, as Biglee tried to elbow his way onto camera, Officer Hobble clamped his hand down on the TV personality's shoulder. "Mister Biglee, you're under arrest."
"What?!" he exclaimed.
"Well, it seems you have some business with the Tax Department," he said as he scanned his police department issued mePad. "Then there's the fraud and …"
"You got nothing on me! I'll sue you! It will be fantastic! The lawsuit will be beautiful! My amazing lawyers will clean the courtroom with you, you, you flatfoot! I'm not going anywhere with you!"
"Then maybe you'll come along with us," a nattily dressed man said.
"As much as it pains us to be seen anywhere in your company," his equally well-turned out companion added.
"Who are you?" he demanded belligerently.
"We're the Fashion Police," Tweed answered.
"And you're in a world of trouble," Twill said. "I thought that school-teacher we caught last year wearing a lamp shade and house coat was a fashion disaster but you …" unable to continue, he just shook his head in disgust.
"Those overlarge shoulder pads," Tweed offered.
"That preposterously long tie," Twill added.
"That combover!" they both exclaimed.
At Tweed's signal, two junior officers wearing matching Sperlucci-designed uniforms came up and joined them.
"Who are they?" Ron asked Kim, sotto voce.
"Fashion Accessories," she said. "Monique told me about them."
"Really?"
"Let's just say, Biglee's ferociously busted."
Just then, the two Accessories put their elegantly gloved hands on Biglee's arms and began to lead him away.
"You can't do this to me! I know people! The best people! Where's my lawyer? Perkins!" he bellowed as he was unceremoniously stuffed into the Police Wagon.
Everyone watched as Biglee was taken away, except for Justine and the Tweebs who were arguing about whether they should use her Kinematic Continuum Disruptor or the Tweebs' new Dimensional Displacement Array. Justine knew that her Disruptor worked, hence the presence of the dinothingy, which was starting to stir. She also hated to admit that Jim and Tim were as smart as she was. As the creature began to slowly get up, it was clear that they needed to do something, and soon.
Since Jim and Tim had their invention with them – and it was sleeker and more compact than her device, Justine relented. Tim aimed it at the dinothingy, fired, and moments later he and his brother were exchanging high fives and their customary cry of "Hicka bicka boo! Hooshah!"
"Nice work, tweebs," Kim said to her brothers.
"Yeah, maybe that thing would work on Biglee," Ron observed, earning himself a light jab in the side from his girlfriend. "What?"
Kim simply rolled her eyes.
Yori then approached Kim and Ron. "I am most sorry that your evening was disturbed," she said.
"No big, Yori. I really appreciate your dealing with this sitch," she said understandingly. "Besides, Ron and I still have the rest of the weekend together …"
"Ah, that is good," Yori said with a smile.
"… Though we should stop by home first to get Ron cleaned up and to see our fams," Kim added, eliciting an unexpected 'eep' from him.
Kim looked quizzically at her boyfriend, but he didn't notice as he was having an unwelcome image of himself, an over-protective Doctor Possible, a rocket ship, and an event horizon.
To Be Continued …
