Apologies for the slight delay, time sure does fly. Thanks to those who have put this story on alerts, Graziemille! A big thank you to my friend, who told me (with a number of profanities) to get up and write.

So without further ado.


PUSH

Bella

Apparently, no one else would forget it either.

The Runner had been right on the money. It really was all people could talk about. For the next week or so, I'd been on the receiving end of lots of stares, comments and wide, knowing grins. I'd had the stares and heard the whispers before, but now the tone was different. It was speculative, almost teasing and much friendlier. They'd all seen him kiss me, twice now. The general view was that Edward was wooing and winning me over and I was surrendering. And that annoyed me. More than annoyed, it angered me. Surrender. Defeat. No-one seemed to much care what this had done to me. And that hurt, all over again.

While people were friendlier - including the Head of Housekeeping, who had seen the whole race from the front row, apparently, and now greeted me with a broad grin every day - I remained quiet, keeping to myself and talking to no-one. I continued with my routine, as usual.

I finished my service hours, returned the mop and bucket and headed for the stables, to check in on Sentinel. This half an hour, when everyone was at noon meal, was a peaceful one and my favourite part of the day.

"Hello, boy." I said softly, as he raised his head, whinnying a little when he saw me. "I come bearing gifts."

I unlatched the stable door and slid into his box, taking out an apple as I did. While he was crunching it, I examined his bruises, gently testing his muscles. He was back to normal now and over the shock of the fall.

"How's he doing?"

Startled, I jumped, tripping over a broom and nearly landing on the floor. I glared at Edward, who was grinning at me from outside the box.

"So this is where you hide." He crossed his arms over the door as he looked at me.

"I'm not hiding." I protested.

"Oh no?" He arched an eyebrow.

"I'm talking to a friend. Aren't I?" I murmured to Sentinel, who bumped me with his head. "Alright, alright." I extracted the second apple and gave it to him. "Greedy child."

"He gets it from his master." Edward said. I glanced at him. "I'm greedy too." His eyes were like a caress on me and I looked away immediately. I'd been careful to keep a healthy distance from him over the past few days. It bothered me that I was so easily falling for his charm.

"You were looking for me?" I asked evenly as I brushed Sentinel down, my back to where Edward was.

" Mmmm." He said and I could feel his gaze on me as he watched. I continued to brush, running my hands down Sentinel's heavy muscles and sleek form. We didn't speak till I was nearly finished.

"Are you going to tell me why you were looking for me?" I asked, glancing round at him. He seemed mesmerised by my hands stroking Sentinel. I stopped and he slowly lifted his gaze to mine. I noticed, as my breath quickened, that his eyes had gone black again, the way they always did when his mind was on something very specific related to me. I swallowed and turned away to put the brush back on its peg.

"There's a Council meeting in an hour. You've been asked to attend." He said, his voice low. I nodded without looking at him, giving Sentinel a quick goodbye pat as I headed for the stable door. He unlatched it for me, letting me out. I brushed past him quickly, careful to avoid touching or looking at him.

"Have noon meal with me." He said, following as I headed back towards the main house.

"I'm due at the library." I kept walking.

"You haven't eaten." He kept up with me easily, matching his stride to mine.

"I'm not hungry now, I'll eat later." I reached the side entrance and pulled the door open. He reached out and shut it, keeping his hand there.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly.

"Why would anything be wrong?" I answered, forcing myself to meet his eyes.

"You've been pushing me away since the Games." He said. "Why?"

"I just need some space, that's all." It was half the truth, after all.

He was silent and then he took a step towards me. Instinctively, I stepped back. Eyes darkening, he took yet another step. I wished I had the balls to stand my ground but I couldn't help it, I stepped back again, away from him.

"That's it, isn't it?" He murmured as he continued coming towards me and I continued backing off. "Am I getting too close for comfort, Isabella?"

"Stop." I said, meaning it. I couldn't think with him cornering me like this.

"Why, so you can bring yourself under that careful control?" He chuckled softly. "So you can retreat behind your walls? Hide away where you're safe?"

I gritted my teeth at his words, hands clenching.

"I'm not playing this game with you." I kept my voice even. "I won't let you get under my skin."

"Oh, but I'm already under your skin." He said reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. I flinched. "And I'm going to get behind those walls."

"You have an annoying penchant for drama." I said, "Always ready with the great exit line." I tried to move around him.

"Well, try this line." He leaned forward before I could react and pecked me on the lips quickly, before backing away from me, smiling as he spoke. "You fought for me at the Games. Well, I'm fighting for us. And if that means I have to fight you, then so be it."

OOOOOOOOOO

I walked slowly through the streets of Volterra, taking my time and breathing everything in.

The Council had partially rescinded the seclusion order at their meeting with me. I still had service hours to complete, I was still on a curfew but they were allowing me to leave Clanholding for a few hours each day. I hadn't planned on taking advantage of it - confinement hadn't really bothered me - but then I remembered my promise to the female from Housekeeping. So I had found my Guard and now we were weaving our way through the streets towards the address the female, Jala, had given me.

I found the address I'd been looking for at the far end of the street. I knocked and waited. After a moment, Jala opened the door, her jaw dropping when she saw me.

"Cai Isabella! I didn't...I mean, I wasn't expecting you!" She looked flustered.

"If this is inconvenient, I can come back?"

"No, no, you've come all this way. Come in please." She stepped aside to let me in while my Guard waited outside.

The home was very bare, basic furniture and no luxuries, but for all that it was immaculate, neat and clean, smelling fresh and well cared for. Jala lead me to a small bedroom where her mother lay in bed.

"Cai Isabella." She said, a gentle smile on her tired face as she tried to lift her hand in greeting.

"Greetings, Mena." I came to her side swiftly and sat at the edge of the bed.

"Jala has told me about how you helped us. Thank you." She said, her voice thready and so faint I had to listen hard to hear it.

"Will you allow me to examine you, Mena?" I asked her softly. She nodded and I could tell that the small effort to speak this much had exhausted her.

I began to do the basic checks on her vitals and pressure. The routine was familiar and yet strange after so long. I had been apprehensive about this - I had no idea how my body would react. I still couldn't be near Healer's without throwing up, so who knew what would happen. But so far, so good.

After the basics, I did a more thorough exam of her body and symptoms. She was painfully wasted, merely skin on bone, her breath indicating that she wasn't keeping food down, her skin pale. Jala answered my questions on her diet, habits, the medicines the Herbalist had given her, as well as the onset of her illness.

I started feeling the giddiness somewhere in the middle of her recitation but gritted my teeth, hoping that the anti-nausea herbs I'd swallowed would keep it at bay.

"Are you alright, Cai Isabella?" Jala asked, concerned. I realised I was clenching my hands and slowly relaxed them.

"I'm fine. Could I have some water please, Ala?" I gratefully drank what she gave me and then focused on the worn out, frail creature in front of me. I knew what this was and there was no curing it. All that could be done was keep her comfortable, pain free and improve whatever quality of life she had in the time she had left.

I told Jala as gently as I could. She took it well, as if she'd expected it. It can't have escaped her, not with the state her mother was in. But I focused on what could be done, outlining the measures I thought would help, the change to the medicines, the teas and broths that would boost her strength and immunity to infections. As I spoke, it came easier to me, the giddiness always lingering but not overwhelmingly so.

When I left, I felt disoriented. It was like reconnecting with a friend you've not talked to for years because you had a fight with them. Familiar yet unfamiliar, using old memories and paths to reconnect, yet those old paths feeling new and no longer having the same power. Healer Kate and Charis had been right - it was still there within me. But it had changed.

It was upto me to find my way to it. Because I couldn't find my way back.

OOOOOOOOOO

"Where did you go today?" Edward asked as we walked slowly around the garden on our usual night walk. "After the Council meeting. I looked for you in the library but they said you hadn't come in."

"You didn't check with the Guard that's keeping me under watch? Shocker." I said drily.

He was silent and when I glanced at him, he was looking down, his expression weary. I looked away.

"I went to the town for a change of scene. I dropped by the home of one of the housestaff I know. Alright?" I said briefly.

"One of the housestaff? Who?" He asked after a moment.

"One of the Housekeeping staff, that's all. Jala." I said.

"A friend?"

I laughed.

"Surely you know the answer to that."

"Isabella." He said quietly.

"Are you telling me no-one's giving you daily reports?" I couldn't keep the disbelief out of my voice.

"Not about who you talk to, no." He said evenly. "So, is Jala a friend?"

"No, I just work with her." I said eventually.

"Who are your friends?"

"Don't worry, Edward. They're all too loyal to you to dare befriending the mate that betrayed you."

"Stop it." He grabbed me by the elbow and turned so we were facing each other. "I'm not playing this game with you."

"Game?"

"This defensive manoeuvre you play when you're trying to keep me at bay. Whatever it is that's bothering you, talk to me. Stop trying to push me away. I'm not going anywhere, Isabella, no matter what you do. The sooner you accept that, the better." His voice was low but firm, decisive and clear. I yanked my elbow from his grip and preceded him up the path back to the house.

We made in back to chambers in silence. All I wanted - needed - was space from him, I was feeling crowded and overwhelmed. I didn't want to share a bed with him the way I was feeling, but I couldn't very well tell him I was sleeping on the window bed. I could see how that conversation was likely to go. Neither could I just go ahead and do it and hope that he would leave me there.

We got changed and got into bed, still no further words spoken between us. I lay there, his arm over my waist, waiting for his breathing to deepen. Then, I extricated myself and silently padded my way over to the window bed, pulling it out slowly so as not to wake him, before lying down with a sigh. Now I could breathe. I hadn't had space to myself in months. And yet, I felt strangely bereft, as if something was missing. I'd grown used to him being there, I missed his warmth and his scent. Don't be an idiot, Isabella, I told myself. You wanted the space and you need the break. So just enjoy it.

I was just dozing off when I felt my sheets being thrown off me and a pair of familiar arms gathering me up.

"Edward?" I asked groggily, looking up at him. "What are you-"

"Shut up, Isabella." He said, jaw clenched. He carried me across the room and put me down on the bed. Before I could move, he was on me, trapping my body beneath his as he looked down at me.

"I told you. We won't be sleeping apart ever again." He moved to my side, pulling me with him, and threw one leg over mine and an arm over my waist, bringing my head onto his chest.

"Sleep now." He murmured.

And my treacherous body, comfortable once more in his arms, obeyed.


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