VII
Jesse, come home, there's a hole in the bed
Where we slept, now it's growing cold
Jesse, your face and the place
Where we lay by the hearth, all apart
It hangs on my heart
And I'm leaving the light on the stairs
No, I'm not scared, I wait for you
Hey Jesse, it's lonely, come home
"Jesse", Roberta Flack
One Year Later, Just Before Langley Graduation
Two days before her graduation from Langley, Blair Warner was writing in the notebook that she had kept with her for the last year. It started during a creative writing assignment, but she had continued to write what she had begun that day. In the notebook, she now had a few dozen "letters" written to Jo, none of them sent, of course, but desperately wishing she could. It was both cathartic and heartbreaking at the same time, to tell your best friend what you've been up to, but knowing she wasn't there to share it with you. The hurt of Jo's departure had never subsided for Blair. Indeed, it had only deepened. It was a testament to her growth as a person that she had not let her grades slide even a little since her best friend left.
Graduation was in two days. Her father had already made it clear he was attending, but Blair had heard not a word from her mother in the two years since Jo left. No doubt the story had filtered to Monica Warner, but Blair thought of Mrs. Garrett more like a mother than Monica these days.
Monica had given birth to a little girl a year earlier. Blair had yet to meet her half-sister, Bailey, as Monica had given birth in Europe, and was still over there, as far as Blair knew. Blair had written to her mother, even left messages on her phone in France where she was living, but had not heard back from Monica Warner.
Blair had just put away her notebook, and was heading into the kitchen to get a snack. Dorothy and Natalie were sitting at the kitchen table, chatting amiably as they always seemed to, Blair smiling as they passed them. Grabbing herself a glass, she opened the fridge and lifted a pitcher of iced tea, then returning the pitcher and sitting near the other two girls.
"Nothing like an iced tea on a warm spring day", Blair said, although, with almost everything else, her heart wasn't in it.
"I think I would like to try a Long Island Iced Tea this summer", Natalie said mischievously. Tootie and Blair both rolled their eyes.
"You're still not old enough for one of those, Nat", Tootie said with a crooked grin, "although I've heard they can be pretty good, if they're made right."
"Oh, they are, Tootie", Blair said with a genuine laugh. "Problem with them is if they're made just right, you can't tell there's much alcohol in them, and by the time you figure it out, you can't get your butt out of a chair." All three girls laughed at that mental image.
"Isn't that kinda like going to a...what's it called? A something Buffalo?"
Natalie burst out laughing. "It's a Hairy Buffalo, Tootie!"
"And just how do you know about Hairy Buffalo's, Nat?" Blair gave her a smirk, raising her eyebrows.
"I ended up at one late last summer. My cousin took me to a party and they had one going at a friend's apartment."
"What's in a Hairy Buffalo, Nat?"
"Well, Tootie, for college types, you buy a huge rubber trash can. You then buy a bunch of fruit, some Kool-Aid, and some 190-proof alcohol. You cut up the fruit, and soak it in the alcohol. Now you can soak it for as long or as little as you want-my cousin's friend soaked it for twelve hours. You can imagine the color of the fruit being soaked in booze for that long." Natalie was in her element, going a million miles an hour, her eyes lit up, telling a story. It was pure Natalie. "Then you fill the can with ice and water, pour in the Kool-Aid, the fruit, and the left-over alcohol, then mix it all up, and viola! One genuine Hairy Buffalo."
The other two laughed. "And let me tell you, Tootie", Blair added, "it's like drinking Kool-Aid. When done right, like a Long Island Iced Tea, you can't even tell there's alcohol in it. It can knock you on your ass." They all laughed, then Blair continued. "During our Freshman year at Langley, Jo and I went to a Hairy Buffalo, and by the end of the night, Jo was absolutely wasted..."
In a nanosecond, Blair's face contorted, realizing what she had said. The smile on her face vanished, replaced by the most heartbreaking look that Natalie and Tootie had ever seen on anyone's face. They had literally held their breath when Blair mentioned Jo's name.
For a few moments, Blair looked confused, but then exploded like Vesuvius. She picked up the glass of iced tea, hurling it with an anguished scream at the refrigerator, shattering the glass into tiny shards.
"Goddammit, Jo! Why did you leave me! Why!"
Without hesitation, the other two girls were at Blair's side, as she dropped her head on the table, sobbing uncontrollably, Jo's name crossing her lips now and again.
"Jo, where the hell are you! I miss you! I need you!"
Natalie and Tootie became worried as Blair's breakdown spiraled downward to the point they thought she might physically have a stroke or a heart attack. Natalie looked at Tootie, the younger girl getting the message without spoken words, and ran downstairs to the store to fetch Mrs. Garrett.
In a few minutes, Mrs. Garrett was by Blair's side, but there was no consoling the young woman. Edna quietly instructed Natalie to call the Nurse/Practitioner that was on duty for Eastland, on whose property the store and apartment sat. Twenty minutes later, the woman was on the scene, trying to get Blair to calm down. The blonde was literally hyperventilating, having trouble catching her breath.
The nurse gave Blair a sedative to calm her. Half hour after the nurse had arrived, Blair was in a fitful sleep on the couch. The sobbing and what could almost be called convulsions had subsided. Mrs. Garrett had sent Natalie and Tootie down to help run the shop until she could get free.
"Mrs. Garrett", the nurse advised, after Edna had filled her in on what was going on, "Blair is a healthy young women, but her heart rate was through the roof, as was her blood pressure. You say this isn't the first time this has happened?"
Edna shook her head. "No, but it's the most...undone that I've seen Blair since Jo left. She's been trying to keep it inside."
"She needs to let it out more often then. She'll give herself a heart attack, even at age twenty-one, if she doesn't let it out constructively. Is there a way to contact her parents?"
"Well, her father will be here tomorrow, for the Langley graduation on Saturday. I have no idea if her mother will be here. Perhaps I should call Mr. Warner and have him come here immediately. That might help Blair."
"That's not a bad idea. When Mr Warner arrives, perhaps I can talk to him. I think her daughter needs to get a complete physical, and also, perhaps, get some counseling for this."
The woman left, Mrs. Garrett deciding to stay with Blair as she slept. She informed Tootie and Natalie she would be down when it was closing time. With that settled, she called David Warner.
Two-and-a-half hours later, David Warner was at Edna's apartment. Blair was still asleep when he arrived.
"Mrs. Garrett", David said, giving the woman a reassuring hug. David knew that Blair had benefited greatly from Mrs. Garrett's influence. He well knew that, going to Eastland, then Langley, Blair would meet many girls like herself-from wealthy families, who didn't appreciate the daily grind of life, and who took most everything for granted. Yet he also knew Blair would meet girls like Natalie Green and Dorothy Ramsey, girls who didn't come from other backgrounds, who would show her a different side of life.
Yet for all the appreciation he had for Edna Garrett, Blair's teachers and friends, he had never even considered someone like Jo Polniaczek coming into her daughter's life. His first meeting with Jo, he hadn't been impressed. She was crass, profane at times, lacking in many social skills that David had come to take for granted.
Yet as Blair wrote to him, and talked to him on the phone over the years, and from his own personal observations over the years, he began to realize that Jo had instilled in Blair a sense of compassion and humanity that his only child had perhaps not had when she entered Eastland so many years ago. Blair had told him, in amazement, about Jo's intelligence, her perseverance, and her basic goodness as a person. It had amazed Blair how they could fight like cats and dogs, but if anyone outside of their circle threatened Blair, or visa-versa, they would defend the other with ferocity, and without hesitation.
On the numerous occasions he had been present with Blair and Jo, he had noticed how the native of The Bronx would look at his daughter when she thought no one looking. As an executive of a massive International Corporation, David hadn't risen to that strata by not noticing how people acted and reacted. He could see it in Jo's eyes, that she truly admired Blair. More than that, he could tell that Jo loved Blair with an incredible intensity. Perhaps because Blair was with Jo every day, it didn't surprise her that Blair didn't see the devotion Jo had.
Yet he also noticed it was reciprocal. Blair truly loved Jo as well. David didn't think Blair realized the depth of her feelings for the young lady, most likely because the pressure of the society that he and Blair came from-to find a handsome suitor, who was also from the right kind of family, to get married, and to produce offspring-or as Monica simply called them, "heirs", for a new generation of wealth and privilege.
To be sure, David Warner appreciated the finer things in life, but he had seen enough people go from the penthouse to the outhouse to know such a life wasn't something to haughtily take for granted. It could be taken from anyone. A person's strength and integrity wasn't forged by constant success. That was truly tested by setbacks and disappointments. He certainly didn't want to lose the family fortune his father, and now he, had built up, but he didn't want it to be the sole definition of who he was and what he stood for.
"Mr. Warner", Edna said with a worried smile, "I think we've known each other long enough that you can call me Edna."
David smile warmly. "Only if you call me David." He nodded for them to go to the kitchen table. "How is Blair?"
"She's still asleep, David", Edna said calmly, over the shock of a few hours ago. "I've never seen her so hysterical, so...bereft. I was truly worried she'd give herself a heart attack."
David shook his head sadly, bowing it for a moment. "You don't know how much I appreciate you helping her like this-not just today, but for all these years. This thing with Jo has changed Blair in ways she can't even see. I've never seen or heard her sound so defeated in her life."
"And yet she's kept her grades up, David, something you should be proud of. She's worked hard to get her degree. But you're right-it has come with a price."
"Jo should be with her Saturday, that's what tears me to pieces." He sighed, going silent for a moment. "What gets me is that our corporation has many resources, and yet, for two years, we've found absolutely no trace of Jo." He gave Edna a wry smile. "I think her Bronx upbringing has helped her in this situation, I'm sorry to say."
"If she's even alive", Edna ventured, not really wanting to say it.
"Yes", David said, barely above a whisper, "if she's alive." Again he paused. "I think I'll need a change of plans after graduation, Edna. We were going to go on vacation in Europe, but now? I know she needs to see a doctor and a therapist. I have no compunction with having Blair get help. There are far too many snobs that would be aghast at the idea, but my daughter needs help."
"What do you suggest, David?"
He shook his head. "I'm not sure, but I don't believe sitting around Europe, having nothing but time to think about Jo, is helpful. Neither is a work environment. But I need she and I to get her a physical exam, and then meet with a psychologist, to see if we can somehow get her moving, at least mentally in a more positive direction. That alone may take up the whole summer."
"Wasn't she going to start working at the company in the fall?"
David nodded. "Yes, she was, and she still might. She's indicated that she wants to get into the business, but I don't want her to be so focused on work, just to forget about Jo. I'm not giving up on finding Jo, mind you", he added hastily, "but we've had nothing so far. We have to find a way to get Blair to start getting beyond this. And, if we do find Jo, God willing, we'll deal with it."
"Has Blair indicated to you if...well, how her feelings about Jo..." Edna didn't know where to take that.
David smiled. "Edna, I've never mentioned this to anyone but Monica-and you can guess how she reacted-but I came to the conclusion a long time ago that Jo deeply loved Blair. I didn't get to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 by not being able to read people. It's been in Jo's eyes for years. I'm surprised no one else has noticed, but I did. I also know Blair adores Jo to no end. Whether she feels the same way about Jo as Jo felt about her, I'm not quite sure. But I know she'd give her life to bring Jo back."
Edna gave a small smile for the first time. "I noticed something between them years ago, something beyond their constant, insane arguments." They both laughed. "Beyond that, they would, like you said, have given their life for the other. I just hope that this isn't how it ends, David. I miss Jo terribly as well. So do Tootie and Natalie, but Blair...right now it's killing her."
"I know, Edna", he said gravely. "We try to start reversing that next week. And I think I'll take a short leave of absence to help Blair deal with this. I don't want to see Blair suffering any more."
A few hours later, Blair was awake, and had agreed with her father that the summer had to be spent making sure she was physically and mentally healthy. She hadn't given up on finding Jo someday-she would never give that up, but she knew she had to move forward.
