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Chapter Four

Dean stumbled into the hotel room, not even taking off his shoes as he collapsed into his bed. It had been a crazy few days since we found out about the seals, we barely had time to catch our breath. Castiel hadn't really told Dean what to look for or what we could due to stop it, so it was decided that we would get back to what we knew. Which was hunting the monsters we could find and ganking them, this last mission had been a run of the mill haunting and we were ready to get some shut eye before hitting the road in the morning.

This also meant that Dean and I didn't have time to really explore our relationship, not that he was trying very hard. He was doing that thing where he kept himself distance, no matter how much I tried to hold on to him. There was a little voice in the back of my head telling me that if I held on too tight, I would lose him, and that was the last thing that I wanted to do.

"You can take that bed," Sam said, pointed to the empty bed, "I don't think I'm gonna sleep for a while."

I shrugged, kicking off my boots and tossing my phone on the night stand, "Your loss."

Sam chuckled, looking at Dean as his soft snores filled the room, then he turned back to me, "I know we haven't had a chance to talk, but I wanted to apologize for, you know, what I did."

"All's forgiven," I told him, leaning against the head board so I was face him. I was over it the day after it had happened, I understood why he had done it, but it was nice getting the apology.

"Thanks," Sam said, smiling at me. His brows pulled together, "What's going on between you and my brother?"

I raised my brow at him, resisting the desire to glance a Dean, "What are you talking about?"

"Well, before," Sam started, leaning his elbows against his knees, "You used to look at each other with such longing looks, now when your two's eyes meet, he smirks and you blush."

I could feel a blush working its way up my cheeks, now, "We that obvious, huh?"

"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad, "Sam chuckled, "So, what's going on."

I leaned my head back, looking up at the ceiling, "We are taking it slow."

"Do you need my help?" Sam offered, "I can take off for a couple house, let you two have some alone time."

I smiled, winking at him, "I'll keep that in mind."

It would be nice, just the two of us, but none of the moments felt right. Like there was something more we could be doing, some job we could be working. The time may never be right, but I wasn't going to stop trying. I wanted to be with Dean, and maybe with Sam on our side, we could find a right time.

"Anyway," Sam said, leaning back in his chair, "I don't think Dean's waking up any time soon. You should get some sleep."

"Good idea," I nodded in agreement.

I got out of the bed and pulled back the covers, climbing in to bed. Sam got up and turned the overhead light on as I snuggled down. I closed my eyes, listening to the boys beath. It didn't matter what else was going on in the world, I still felt safe. Like we were in our own little bubble, nothing existed outside of those four walls. I drifted off to sleep with a happy feeling in my chest.

I woke up just in time to see Castiel, who was perched on the edge of Dean's bed, reach across the space between them and press two fingers to Dean's forehead. I blinked and Dean was gone. I launched to my feet, Castiel doing the same. I stood over the spot where Dean had vanished, my arms out in shock. Castiel faced me, squaring his shoulders.

"What did you do?" I demanded.

"That doesn't concern you," Castiel told me.

I rounded on him, squaring my shoulders. He was taller than me, but I liked to think I ha, d an air about me that others found intimidating, "You better fucking tell me where you sent Dean or I will kick your ass."

Castiel gave me the kind of look I imaged a mother would give her toddler who talked back, he heaved a sigh, "I sent him to the past."

"What? Why?" I stammered, trying to articulate what he was telling me, "Bring him back! Or send me to him."

"This is something Dean has to do alone," Castiel said and was gone.

I stared at the place that Castiel was, to shocked to be angry just yet. Then it hit me, and a groaned in frustration. I spun toward around the room, but Sam was gone too. I snatched my phone off the end table and attempted to call Dean's phone, but the automated woman told me that the call couldn't be completed as dialed. Then I called Sam, and it went straight to voice mail.

"Sam, I just witnessed Castiel boop Dean away, apparently to the past," I had to control my voice to keep myself from yelling, "Call me back!"

I passed back and forth in the room, trying to figure out what to do. Hesitating, I called the only person I knew would answer my call. Claire answered on the second ring, "Hello, my darling."

"I need help," I told her.

"I live to serve," she teased, "What do you need?"
"That angel, Castiel," I told her, "Sent Dean to the past. That spell you were trying, to communicate to Dean in hell, do you think it will work reaching the past?"

"Maybe," she said, her voice serious, "I can try."

I gave her my location, "Can you meet me? I want to stay here incase Dean comes back."

Claire agreed to meet, informing me it would take a few hours to get to me. I hung up the phone and paced back and forth, I tried Sam again but it went to voicemail again. Time seemed to crawl past, I occupied it by pushing the furniture aside like Claire had done before, wanting to be ready for whatever she needed. Soon I was sitting in a chair by the window, staring out and waiting for Claire. When she finally showed up, I launched out of the chair and threw open the door. She hurried inside, perhaps sensing my impatience, got started setting up. When she was finished, she sat cross legged and motioned for me to join her.

I sat down, crossing my legs and resting my hands on my knees. Claire gave me a reassuring look, then picked up a vial that was beside her. She dumped it all into a bowl that sat between us, taking a deep breath. Doubt slipped into my mind now that we were actually doing this.

"Wait," I said, reaching out my hand to stop her.
"What?" Claire asked, freezing in the process of dumping another veil into the bowl.

I had spent the past four and a half months trying to quit doing magic, and the second that Dean was in trouble, here I was asking for it. It was hypocritical. I was an idiot for asking for her help, I couldn't let her do this.

"We can't do this," I told her.

She poured the contents into the bowl, "You said you need to communicate with Dean."

"Yeah, but," I said, annoyed that she was doing what I asked her not to, "But, I mean, the angel said God had a plan for Dean-"

"Your gonna trust those angels?" Claire demanded, continuing her spell, "It's not exactly like they have been upfront about their plan."

"That's not the point," I insisted, "I don't think they would hurt Dean; they need him."

"Unless the just summoned him to do that think that was planned for him," Claire said, dumping the last container into the bowl and swishing it around, "We could be in danger. Don't you want to know?"

I hated that she was right, that it was the not knowing that was eating me up. If I could just know if he was okay, then I could relax. A new rush of anger bubbled in my chest, how dare Castiel not tell me what was going on. How could he expect us to trust him? I couldn't trust any of them. Claire was right about the fact they weren't telling us everything. I didn't like being manipulated. When I remained quiet, Claire closed her eyes and tilted her head back.

I waited and watched, her face scrunching slightly in concentration. I didn't know how much time had passed, it could have been minutes or hours, before Claire opened her eyes. She stared at me, stared through me. Her blue eyes were unfocused, and when she spoke her voice sounding distant and hollow, "Don't open the door."

"What?" I asked, confused, "What door?"

"Don't open the door," she repeated.
"I don't-"

I was cut off by the abrupt electivity causing the ends of our hair flow around us. The lights deemed, then grew so bright I was sure the bulbs would explode. Behind Claire a shadow figure formed, stretching tall above us. It had a slim frame, definitely belonging to a woman. Black shadowy hair flying around it, bright golden eyes looming down at me. I gasped, launching to my feet.

And found myself sitting up in bed, darkness surrounding me. To my right stood Dean and Castiel, staring at me in surprise. I blinked, looking around me trying to understand what had just happened. I swallowed hard, that couldn't have just been a dream. It felt so real, I could still feel the electricity on my skin.

"True," Dean walked over, placing his hand on my shoulder.

I jumped slightly at his touch and he pulled back, my brain still trying to catch up with reality, "What?"

"We have to go," Dean told me, turning from me back to Castiel, "Where's Sam?"

I looked around the room, Sam wasn't here. How could Sam not be here? He hadn't been there in my dream either. I looked at my phone, which was sitting on the night stand. What the hell was going on?

"425 Waterman," Castiel said. Dean brushed past Castiel and started gathering up his stuff, pulling on his jacket. The angel continued, "Your brother is heading down a dangerous road, Dean. And we're not sure where it leads. So, stop it. Or we will."

Dean cocked his gun, glaring at Castiel. I didn't stop to think what that meant. I got out of bed and pulled on my boots, not sparing a glance at Castiel as I followed Dean out to the Impala. I got into the passenger side, taking the map he thrusted into my lap ad Dean started the car. He tore out of the parking lot at speeds that pressed me into the cushion behind me. I pulled out a flashlight, and found the address that Castiel had told Dean. I directed Dean in the right direction.
"What happened to you?" Dean asked, his tone harsh.

I didn't take it personally; I knew how he got when it came to Sam. Instead, I took a deep breath, "I had a really weird dream."

"What was it about?" Dean inquired, trying to bring some clam to his voice.

"We don't have to talk about it right now," I told him.

Dean gave a humorless chuckle, "Honestly, the distraction might be nice."

"Um, I dreamt that Castiel had sent you into the past," I said, still trying to make sense of the dream, "I tried calling Sam but the call just went to voice mail, so I called Claire. When she got there… she went into this weird trance and kept saying don't close the door. Then this shadow appeared and I woke up."

Dean was silent for a long moment, "Castiel did send me to the past, to see my mom make a deal with the demon that killed her."

I stared at him, forgetting that I was supposed to be giving him directions, "That was real?"

Dean risked a glance at me, "I know it sounds crazy, but yeah."

"What the hell is going on?" I said, not really expecting an answer as I glanced down at the map, "Take the next left."

"When we figure out what's going on with Sam," Dean said, pressing a little harder on the gas, "We'll find out what's going on with you."

I needed to find out what was going on, needed to figure out who that shadow was. It was stalking me for a reason, and I didn't want to be hunted again. Not when I just got rid of the last thing that wanted to mount my head on the wall. Since I didn't know anything, or even where to start, I was okay with Sam being I priority. He was the here and now. Like Dean, I needed the distraction.

425 Waterman turned out to be a warehouse on the edge of town. Dean parked the car far enough away that no one would be alerted to the sound. We got out of the car, walking side by side up to the building. Rounding corner, we looked for an opening. There was a door standing open, and we walked inside. We didn't have to go far before voices drifted toward us. Dean walked up to a grate dividing our room from the next. He stiffened, his breath catching in his throat.

I looked through the grate, spotting Sam several yards away. He was standing in front of a man who was tired to a chair. A brunette woman was standing next to Sam, they both had their backs to us. I watched in horror as Sam reached out his arm towards the man tied to the chair. The man begun coughing up black smoke, gagging as it was forced out of him. The smoke pooled around his feet until it was all out of the man, before it sizzled and left behind nothing but a black burn mark on the ground.

Dean turned away, looking at me. There were so many emotions on his face: betrayal, anger, disgust, hurt… I wanted to say something, but I felt the same emotions thundering around in my chest. Sam's dormant powers seemed to be in full swing, and he was using it to go behind our backs and psychically exercise demons. Hell, he could have been killing them for all we knew and I wasn't sure I wanted to know. And who the hell was the girl?

Sam stepped forward, pressed two fingers against the man's throat, checking for a pulse. Dean shifted beside me, moving around so that he was closer to the opening into the next room. He hesitated when voices drifted toward us, but the tension never left his shoulders. I could practically feel it radiating off of him in waves, tingling in the air around us.

"How'd that feel?" The brunette asked.

"No more headaches," Sam told her. How long exactly had he been doing this?

"None?" the girl asked, surprised but happy, "That is good."

Sam begun untying the man, who stirred slightly. He put his hands on the man's shoulders, holding him steady as he got to his feet, "Hey, hey. I got you. It's all right."

Dean pushed back the grate, walking into the building. Reluctantly, I followed after. Dean needed to calm down before he went charging into this. Hotheaded as he was, this was going to end in a fight. With anger etched onto his face, I wasn't sure what Dean would do. Or what Sam was currently capable of, not that he would ever hurt Dean.

"So," Dean started, his voice a scary calm, "Anything you want to tell me, Sam?"

"Dean, hold on, okay?" Sam said, setting the man back in his chair. He held his hand out at his brother, as if this could keep him relaxed, "Just let me-"

"You gonna say, 'let me explain,'" Dean demanded, walking ever closer to his brother. I stayed on his heels, determined to stop any fight that broke out. "You're gonna explain this? Why don't you start with who she is and what the hell is she doing here?"

Dean stopped a few feet from Sam, who glanced behind him at the girl. She was pretty, her brown hair flowing around her shoulders, and was shorter than I was. She smiled at Dean, "It's good to see you again, Dean. You too, True."

"Ruby?" Dean and I asked at the same time. Dean turned to Sam, "Is that Ruby?"

Dean charged forward, grabbing hold of Ruby and shoving her backwards. He slammed her against a large grated box, pinning her there as he pulled her old knife out of his belt. Sam grabbed hold of Dean's arm, preventing him from landing the killing blow. Sam twisted himself between Dean and Ruby, straining against his brother for the knife. He managed to get it, but Dean threw him away from him. Sam slammed into the junk piled against the wall with a hard clang.

Ruby made to grab Dean, but I grabbed on to her wrist. She whipped around, rotating her wrist causing me to lose my grip. Grabbing hold of my wrist, she twisted my arm behind my back, forcing me to turn. She slammed me into the grated box, holding me in place with her hand pressed into my shoulder. I brought my head back as hard as I could, slamming into her nose and forcing her to lose her grip as she stumbled backwards. I turned, smirking at her as she whipped blood from her nose.

"Guys, stop it!" Sam ordered.

Ruby took a few extra steps back, glaring at Dean and I. Dean rushed to my side, looking from Ruby, to Sam and back again, "Well, aren't you an obedient little bitch?"

"Ruby," Sam said softly, Ruby and Dean still glaring at each other. Sam nodded at the man from earlier, "Ruby, he's hurt. Go."

Ruby turned away from us, walking over to the man. She pulled his arm over her shoulders, helping him to his feet. Dean took a step forward, "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"The E.R." Ruby told him, "Unless you want to go another round first."

As if on cue the man coughed, not looking good. Dean didn't say anything, just stared at Ruby. She turned, leading the guy toward the door. Once she was gone, Dean rolled his head to glower at his brother.

"Dean," Sam begun.

Dean started walking, not looking back. Sam shot me a guilty look, but I didn't say anything. I couldn't imagine how Dean was feeling, and nothing I could say to either of them would make this better. Sam had lied, he had done the one thing Dean had practically begged him not to do, and ended up becoming the thing he didn't want to be.

"True," Sam begged.

I turned and followed after Dean. He was already marching back across the grounds to the Impala, he got into the car and started the engine. For one heart bounding moment I thought he was going to take off, leaving me behind. When the car didn't move, I hurried over and got into the passenger side. I hadn't even closed my door all the way when Dean threw the car into drive, taking off down the road.

Neither of us said anything, I knew Dean needed to work this out on his own. There was nothing I could say that would help, but I hoped my presence was enough. Dean drove around, I wasn't sure he had any real destination in mind, but I didn't care. An hour passed before I recognized the streets, he was heading back to the hotel. He parked out front, turning of the engine but made no move to get out.

"Dean?" I reached out for him, but he shrugged me off.

He turned to face me, his face and voice hard when he spoke, "Did you know?"

I resisted the urge to smack him for asking such a stupid question, "Of course I didn't, Dean! Do really think I would let him do this?"

"Exactly, you should have been there to stop him!" Dean threw up his hands, "If you had kept your promise and looked out for Sam, none of this would have happened!"

"What?" I demanded angerly, "If you hadn't sold your soul, Sam wouldn't have gone down this path!"

"If I hadn't sold my soul, Sam would be dead!"

"And if your mom hadn't made a deal with a demon, Sam never would have guzzled down demon blood!"

"Don't you talk about my mother," Dean snapped, "If she hadn't made that deal, Sam and I never would have been born."

"My point exactly," I snapped back, "We can play the blame game all night, Dean, but in the end, Sam was alone in his actions. He chose to go down this path."

Dean glared out the window, knowing that I was right. I took several deep breaths, trying to calm the inner rage that was burning in my best. I get that he was angry, and he had every right to be, but that was no excuse to take it out on me. What Sam was doing was not my fault, and had I known, I would have tried to stop him. But he is a grown ass man, he would have done it anyway. Hell, even with Dean and I by his side, he still found a way to do it.

"I know one thing for damn sure," Dean said, throwing open his door, "He doesn't need us."

"Dean," I called, opening my door and hurrying after him, "I don't think we should just leave him."

Dean rounded on me, his jaw set in a determined line, "Your either coming with me or your staying with him."

I wanted to throw my hands in the air, but I knew there would be to talking him out of this. Not when it was all so raw and near the surface, perhaps when he calmed down a bit. There would be no convincing him to stay with Sam, but there was no way I could without Dean. He seemed to know it too, because he turned on his heel and unlocked the door and threw it open.

Sam had been sitting at the table underneath the window, but stood when Dean stormed past him. I shut the door with a gentle click. Dean didn't so much as look at Sam, just started gathering up his stuff. Sam glanced back at me, looking desperate before he walked towards Dean. Tossing up his hands as his brother continued to ignore him.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Sam asked, running his hand through his hair as he approached his brother. Dean didn't say anything, just grabbed his clothes from the rack against the wall and stuffed it into his duffle bag. I started doing the same, stepping quickly around the brothers and ducking into the bathroom to gather up my things. I could hear Sam still trying to talk with Dean, "What, are you guys leaving?"

"You don't need us," Dean said in a tight, gruff voice, "You and Ruby go fight demons."

"Hold on," Sam said, stepping in front of Dean as he made for the door. I quickly shoved my things into my bathroom back, hurrying to grab my suitcase. "Dean, come on, man."

Dean side stepped Sam, but spun around and hit him in the face. Sam spun from the force, stumbling a few steps. Sam whipped blood from his lip, turning back to Dean, "You satisfied?"

Dean hit Sam again, both of them breathing heavily. He dropped his duffle bag on the floor. His face hard, devoid of emotions as he stared at his brother. My heart pounded in my chest, despite what Sam had done, I didn't want the going at it. Not like this. Beating up Sam wasn't going to make Dean feel better, it wouldn't accomplish anything.

"Dean," I warned.

"Stay out of this, True," Dean didn't even look at me, just kept his focus on Sam, "Do you even know how far off the reservation you've gone? How far from normal? From human?"

"I'm just exorcising demons," Sam said.

"With your mind!" Dean yelled, shaking his head, "What else can you do?"

"I can send them back to hell," Sam admitted, "It only works with demons, and that's it."

"What else can you do?!" Dean grabbed hold of Sam's shirt, the momentum forcing Sam to stager backwards. I side stepped into the space between the beds to avoid being ran over.

"I told you!" Sam insisted, shoving his brother off of him.

"And I have every reason in the world to believe that," Dean said, his voice deadly quit. He turned away from Sam, taking my suitcase from me and herding me closer to the door.

"Look, I should have said something," Sam stammered, following behind us. It was enough to get Dean to stop, "I'm sorry, Dean. I am. But try to see the other side here."

"The other side?!" Dean demanded.

"I'm pulling demons out of innocent people," Sam insisted.

"Use the knife!" Dean shouted.

"The knife kills the victim!" Sam shouted back, "What I do, most of them survive! Look, I've saved more people in the last five months than we save in a year."

I took a deep breath. I could see Sam's side, and I'm sure Dean could to, even if he didn't want to admit it. It was scary, thinking this power had come from a demon, but he was using it for good. Saving people. Wasn't that what's important? Why we do what we do? That was the whole point, that's why we did what we did.

I thought about Claire, how she was practicing witchcraft to help me. She wanted to be a part of this, feeling what it was like to save someone. That rush of knowing that someone was alive because of you, because of what you were willing to sacrifice. I couldn't ask her to walk away, not when I couldn't. I groaned inwardly, frustrated. I was going around in circles with myself. I would also have to tell Sam and Dean about Claire. I didn't want Dean finding out the same way he found out about Sam.

"Is that what Ruby wants you to think?" Dean asked, "Kind of like the way she tricked you into using your powers? Slippery slope, brother. Just wait and see. Because it's gonna get darker and darker, and God knows where it ends."

"I'm not gonna let it go too far," Sam whispered.

Dean scoffed, turning away from his brother. In a rage, he swiped the contents of the dresser to the side. Sending a lamp flying over the tv and shattering to the floor, "It's already gone too far, Sam. If I didn't know you, I would want to hunt you. And so, would other hunters. What do you think a cult like the Circle would do if they found out about you?"

A shiver ran down my spine. Echo and the rest of the Circle would hunt Sam down, they wouldn't care if he was doing good. They would tie him to the stake and burn him, they still did that to witches. It was not a fate I wanted Sam to face, demon powers or no.

"You were gone," Sam said, tears in his eyes, "I was here. I had to keep fighting without you. And what I'm doing… it works."

"Well, tell me," Dean said, stepping away from his brother with tears in his own eyes, "If it's so terrific, then why'd you lie about it to me? Why did an angel tell me to stop you?"

God, I was an idiot. I had been so wrapped up in my dream and what had happened when we found Sam, that I had complete forgotten what Castiel had said. This wasn't just about Sam using his powers, this was about what would happen if Sam continued to use them. There would be some serious divine interruption was going to take place. If I thought the Circle was bad, I was sure the angles were a hundred times worse.

Sam's eyes shot, flickering back and forth between us, "What?"

"Cas said that if I don't stop you, he will," Dean told him, "See, what that means, Sam, that means that God doesn't want you doing this. So, are you just gonna stand there and tell me that everything is all good?"

A tear ran down Sam's cheek. He stared at Dean, looking hurt and at a loss for words. He fidgeted, bouncing on his toes. I didn't blame him. It must have been a huge blow to think that you where doing good, using this curse to make the world a better place, only to find out that God didn't approve. A cell phone rang, spearing Sam from having to respond. At least for now.

Sam pulled his phone out of his pocket, "Hello? Hey, Travis. Uh, it's good to hear your voice, too, yeah. Look, it's not a really good time right now… Yeah, okay, uh, well, give me the details and…" Sam turned, gabbing the pen on the nightstand and begun writing on the hotel note pad, "Carthage, Missouri. Looking for Jack Montgomery."

Sam hung up the phone, breathing heavily he turned back to Dean. Dean rolled his eyes, glancing back at me before turning to Sam. I guess we where going to Carthage, Missouri. Putting our things into the trunk of the Impala and pilling into the car were some of the most awkward and intense moments I had every had the misfortune of having to sit though. Sam sat draped across the back seat, while I sat in the front with Dean. No one said anything as Dean cranked up the music and we hit the road.