Hey! Sorry, it took me so long... Life was doing its thing.

Enjoy!
M.

Chapter 97

Friday, February 1, 2013

There's a knock on her door a bit past midday. Sam frowns. She's not expecting anyone. There are no plans for her receiving people. The crew that will go to Atlantis won't need her presence to be sent off.

"Enter," she calls. Because it's the SGC, and a knock on her door could mean anything at all. She's surprised to find a young Major peeking his head inside her office. The smile he gives her is amazing and brings all sorts of feelings to her confused self. She feels like she's seen that smile before. Though she's sure she hadn't met this guy before in her life.

"Major, what can I do for you?" Sam asks. His smile widens.

"Well, to be perfectly honest, it's been ages since I've seen you, Sam. Although, I believe you've never seen me before." He says. Sam frowns in confusion. She checks his nametag.

Walsh. The name rings a bell, but she's had to learn so many names while meeting people in her several lives. She can't quite place where she's heard it before. She comes up blank. Major Walsh has the indecency to smirk at her confusion. He knows she has no idea of who he is, or how she might know him.

"Or maybe I should say… Grand Empress?" He offers. She sits straighter, her shoulders squared. The Major is impressed by her. Proud, too.

"Who are you?" She hisses. She wants to go fully defensive, but she feels at ease with the boy. He smiles then.

"You nicknamed me 'the kid'." He shrugs.

"You're the kid?" She asks, surprised. The teen who had joined the USAF to help her cause. The guy that had willingly put himself on the line and maybe into a career he didn't want to help her.

"May I?" he asks, pointing towards one of the chairs in front of her desk. She nods. "Don't worry, I'm not planning on staying here. Besides, the last thing I want to do is make your life miserable. I'm on my way out to Atlantis. There's some shit they can't figure out," he shrugs. "They need my ATA to make it work. God forbid, we send the old man to figure it out. When he can barely turn on his own computer, right?"

The details Sam has about the kid are few. Even if she's followed his career. Jordan had proved to her he was clean. However, even with all the data, she has about him. She can't make head or tails about what he's talking about. My ATA? The old man? She figures he's one of the few people they'd found that has the gene. But who the hell is the old man, then?

There's another knock. Janet's head is the one peeking inside this time. Her eyes widen in surprise when she notices the man sitting in Sam's office.

"Jon? What are you doing here? You aren't scheduled out yet." Janet says, adding one more layer to Sam's confusion.

"Janet." He grins. Janet's the one that looks at him with a frown and then looks at Sam.

"What are you doing here?" She asks again.

"Visiting a friend?" Jon shrugs. Sam panics for a second. Thinking Janet will ask how he could know her. Or why he calls her a friend. Instead, Janet rolls her eyes at him. He raises his hands in surrender. "I'm on my way to Atlantis. I was going to visit you and your gigantic needles in a moment. I swear!"

Sam looks at Jon Walsh. Utterly confused by the feelings, she feels and the way he's looking at her. As if he knows more about her than she knows about him. The way he jokes with Janet makes it all the more confusing.

"From time to time I think we should've let the Asgard dispose of you," Janet shakes her head.

"Yeah, but then you wouldn't get to see how hot I actually was while growing up, right?" He wriggles his eyebrows.

"Would someone care to explain to me, what the hell is going on here?" Sam manages to say.

"You didn't tell her who you are?" Janet asks in disbelief. She slaps the back of his head harshly.

"Hey! I resent that. Besides, I'm pretty sure you do that, coz you can't hit old me like that."

"Old you?" Sam tries again. She feels the start of a headache forming.

"Sam. This is Jack's clone. Jonathan Walsh. Also known as Major pain in the ass"

"Pleasure to meet you, ma'am." He winks. "So, where's my old grumpy self?"

"The cabin," Janet answers since Sam's seems unable to articulate a word.

"Janet. You think you could give us a moment?" He asks, noticing it too.

"Sure. But if you're part of the Atlantis crew, you need to be in my infirmary ASAP."

"Yeah, sure, you betcha!" His brown eyes never leave hers, not even when the door closes behind his back. "What did he do?"

"What?"

"You don't look happy, Sam. You look worried, tired, and utterly spent. I know you, Samantha Carter. I know how you look when you're happy, and this is not it."

"You're Jack's clone…." She says and remembers. "Walsh was your grandfather's last name." Jon nods. "I don't understand. Why did you help me when I was… Lost? Does he know you were in touch with me this whole time? Does anyone know what you did for me?" She wonders. His eyes shine with love.

"No one knows what I did. Once they allowed me to live. They gave me some funds and left me to myself. You know, being a grown-up stuck in a kid's body. So, I tried to learn all the computer mumbo-jumbo," he grimaced. "I really suck at it, but I contacted Jordan. Said we had a friend in common. Dropped his name, and my file where he asked me to."

"So, you joined us to know where I was?" She asked

"No. I was going to the academy anyway, right? There's no brighter future for me than something I'm decently good at. I knew I would end up around the SGC or one of the expeditions the moment they figured out who I was. I knew the old man had his hands full with finishing the war part of the deal. That didn't mean I couldn't try to fulfill the second part of what we needed for you to return."

"The end of the rogue NID."

"Yeah. I never thought it was so fucked up though. I'm sorry if I wasn't of that much help."

"You helped me a lot." She smiled.

"Now, it's been months since I read of your return to the land of the living. It's been months since I cut ties with 'Jnerd' and the 'Grand Empress'. So, why aren't you happy?" He frowned. She sighed.

"Life is complicated. You must know this."

"Let me tell you something. My shared memories go up to 2003. When I was created. I can tell you, I was in an awful lot of pain until then. Those videos you sent… Those kept me sane for a long time. I'm sure he kept watching them even after we separated. Trust me, it's fucking hard to get over you, Sam. You're the most wonderful thing that could've ever happen to us." She sucked on her lower lip. He knew she was fighting with herself not to break in front of him, which was weird. Since he had said nothing too emotional.

"Hey, you know what's the best thing about me? If he's dumb enough not to see how good you are for him. You can always find me." He winked, making her chuckle at the offer.

"So instead of you being sixteen years my senior, I get to be the cougar?" She asks.

"I wouldn't mind!" He wriggled his eyebrows. "I bet he'll kill me if he knew I offered."

"Why is so easy to talk to you, when it's almost impossible to talk with him?" She asked after a while.

"Because I know I don't have a chance with you. I lost you. Even if you're right in front of me. While he's still terrified that he will. We aren't that complicated, Carter. You know this."

"We have a daughter." She smiles. Both their eyes widen in surprise. She wonders why she could just say this to him when it took so damn long to come clean to Jack.

"We do? I bet he was ecstatic when he found out. I know I am." She lowered her eyes. "The fucker! Listen to me, Sam. I love you. No matter how much pain I manage to put you through. My love for you is the real deal. You just need to shake some sense into me. I promise you, we'll find our footing."

"Will we?" He stood up.

"Yes. Now, before I go…. Can I ask you something?" He lowered his eyes, feeling a bit ashamed.

"Sure."

"Can I get a hug? Hugging you always managed to make me feel safe."

"My hugs?" She says surprised.

"Yeah. Don't be so surprised. You've been there too." He smiled, opening his arms. She finds herself falling into his arms. He's Jack, and he isn't. She wonders for a second if that's what Jack felt when he embraced and kissed Doctor Carter all those years ago. She feels what Jon mentioned too, she feels that everything will be all right.

He places a kiss on the crook of her neck. Whispering an 'I love you' that almost breaks her heart for him. He winks at her before he disappears from her office.

When she's back in her chair, she can't quite believe what had just happened. She'd spoken with Jack's clone in ways she hadn't with Jack. He'd helped her behind the lines, and no one knew about it. There's one thing that he said that makes her think there's hope. He said he loved her. He said he did it for her.

So, if this is Jack's clone… What are the chances that Jack feels the same? She touches her belly softly and takes a deep breath. She needs to find out. Not only for her and Parker's sakes, but for the sake of the little bean now growing inside her.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

She'd thought about her chat with Janet in the wee hours of the morning for days. Thoughts that mixed up with the conversation she'd days ago with Jon. She'd packed the thumb drives with her videos to send them to Jack's doorstep, or office… Only managing to unpack them again and leave them in the same place they had been since her return.

Truth was that it's been fifteen days since the chat with Janet and over a week since she met Jon. Yet, Jack and she seem to be perfecting their little game of hiding and seek. Especially now that they both seemed to be hiding and none of them are seeking.

The rumor mill was as unhelpful as ever. The wildest ideas have come about as to why both General's seemed to be spending all their time inside their own offices since the last time someone saw them drive away together, poured out of SGC staff for anyone to comment on.

She doesn't care about the rumors. She knows they'll get even worse once her belly starts to show. Hopefully, around the fourth or fifth month, like with Parker. But she's tired.

She dragged herself out of bed, not quite ready to face the day. Her alarm had gone off ten minutes earlier. Now she was ten minutes too late on starting her day. Fred would be there soon. She needed to find the strength to face him.

Twenty minutes later, she opens the door to find him. She gives him a tightlipped half-smile as she moves out of the way. They make their way towards the basement. He's the only one who knows she's pregnant, if only because she was worried about their training and miscarriage.

"You look like crap, Sam. Are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure you don't want to go back to bed or I don't know, take a nap?"

"I need this," she said. He knows she does. He knows she's fighting her mind. That working out seems to help her not to think. He wonders how many times she would've lost it if they were sparring this week.

"Okay," he says. Raising his hands in surrender and giving her the first instructions. If he's honest with himself, she seemed to be getting worse. Whatever her thoughts were about seemed to be consuming her whole.

As he imagined, Fred ended up on the wrong side of her mood several times. At least, she wasn't actively trying to kill him. He thought. No, she was just swearing and cursing at 'him'. He was truly worried about her. About her mental state and what it could mean to that kid of hers or the one on the way.

He raises his questions an hour later. When they'd stopped training and were sitting down for tea. She avoided his questions and his eyes. Then the doorbell went off, and she frowned.

"There's a chance that's Mr. Craig, Sam."

"What? Why?" She asked, frowning deeper and standing up.

"I called him. You need someone to talk to. He seemed like a close friend."

"Fuck! Why people think they can just mess with my life?!" She growled.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to mess with it, but I can see you're struggling. I can feel your struggle. I just worry about you. I don't know how else to help you." She clenched her jaw.

"There's nothing to worry about!" She hissed.

"What about Parker, or the one on the way?" He asked softly. Only managing to make her stomp out of the room. She opened the door without looking.

It wasn't Jordan.

"Of all the people that could be here at 0800 on a Saturday morning, what the fuck are you doing here?!"

"Carter."

"No! You don't get to Carter me. Get the fuck out! Go back to your damn self-pity party and let me wallow in mine! Fuck, aren't you just quite done humiliating me?" She could see she was hurting him, but she couldn't stop her words from coming out.

Jack clenched his jaw. He was hoping for a punch, a really hard punch that would set him straight. Her words were far worse.

"I deserve that… and worse." He mumbled.

"Yeah, you do." She said embracing herself by the middle.

"I'm not here for you," he said, and she cringed. "I… Sam… We might not have a way back anymore. We might never find our footing back. But… She isn't responsible for it. I want to get to know her." He said. She slammed the door closed on his nose.

"Not Jordan?" Fred asked, and she glared at him. "I'm going now, but you need to talk to someone. You need to take better care of yourself. If not for you, for them…" Fred said. Leaving a stressed-out Sam standing irate inside her house.

He walked out only to find an equally stressed and irate man outside. "You are not Jordan Craig," Fred stated. "I'm Fred. The trainer."

"Jack. O'Neill. Two Ls." Jack hissed but took the offered hand.

"Ah," Fred said. He had heard the 'Jack' coming out of Sam's mouth several times. Asking him to help her. When he had her corralled and she seemed to be somewhere in memory lane. The 'I hate you, Jack' appeared a few days after she'd told him she was pregnant. But there was a 'Jack' in a pleading tone that had appeared more times than he'd liked to hear.

"What?" Jack frowned as the man assessed him.

"Don't you fucking dare to hurt her," Fred warned.

"Hurt her?!" Jack said a little louder than he intended. He passed a nervous hand through his hair. "Fuck! I just want to meet my daughter! For crying out loud! I've fucked it up with her mom. Don't I at least deserve to tell her I'm her dad? That I love her, even though I didn't even know she existed?" Jack shouted. He didn't notice the door had opened. He didn't see Parker's widened eyes or the look of shock in Sam's eyes.

"Your daughter?" Fred asked in confusion.

"Parker. I just want to meet Parker…" Jack said, his voice barely a broken whisper.

"You're my dad?" Parker's voice came out smaller than Sam had ever heard it. Sam wanted to answer no. Close the door again and pull Parker close. She wanted to protect her from Jack. Even if she knew how loving and doting he could be. It was Jack. He was the one who kept breaking her into pieces without even realizing it.

Jack turned towards her. Looking at his daughter for the first time with renewed eyes. "I am," he said.

"And you didn't know I existed?"

"No. I'm sorry," Jack said. Parker turned around and looked at Sam. Eyes filled with tears.

"You lied to me! All this time… You lied to me! I hate you!" Parker said and rushed towards her room. Sam closed her eyes as they all heard Parker's door being slammed closed.