When Sebastian came into their room after he showered, he didn't see Kurt. He walked back out into the living room, and then peeked around the wall to look in the kitchen, but he wasn't in either room. He turned back and looked in their spare room, which was also empty.
"Kurt?"
"In here."
Sebastian pinpointed his location to their closet. He went to see what Kurt was doing. He stopped in front of the doorway and saw Kurt on his knees in front of an open box.
"Hey, sweetie. What did you need?"
"You. I kind of panicked when I couldn't find you."
Kurt looked up at him and smiled softly. "Well you found me." He handed Sebastian a smaller storage box he pulled out of the larger box. "Here, take this."
He took it and put it on their bed.
Kurt followed him out and opened it up. Inside were four tiaras, packed neatly in what looked like velvet. Kurt unwrapped each one and put them on the dresser. "Maybe it's stupid, but I can just kind of feel her when I touch them."
"It's not stupid." Sebastian stepped up behind him, but didn't touch him.
"You can touch them if you want. It's not like they're made out of 18 carat gold and real gems."
"Maybe not, but they are really pretty." Sebastian moved to stand next to Kurt and picked one of them up. "I'm glad you were able to get them back."
"Me too. I have a small glass perfume bottle that was hers. My dad gave it to me last Christmas. I hadn't seen it since the Christmas after she died. And I have this dresser. I had a few scarves that I had in my room already and a few other things. About a year after she died, my dad bought a big flat screen TV and hung it up, taking the paintings down. I told you that." Kurt began wrapping the tiaras back up.
Sebastian nodded. He handed Kurt the one he had in his hand.
"I took the paintings down to my room when he told me to put them in the garage. He wasn't looking because he was busy installing the wall mount for the TV. After I went to bed that night, he went through their room and boxed up the rest of her stuff and put it in the garage, but I found the boxes before he managed to take them anywhere. She liked to wear long, free-flowing skirts. I kept all of them. That's what's in the box still." He put the tiaras back in the box and put them in the closet.
When he came out, Sebastian patted the bed next to him.
Kurt sat down. "He didn't get rid of my baby book or photos albums, but I took them hostage in my room and put them in a locked trunk. I'm sure it would have taken him two minutes to unlock it with a pocketknife, but I was a kid and it felt safe at the time. I just think he went through a period where seeing anything of hers hurt too much and he just got rid of all of it. I've never asked him about it. Now that I have the skirts with me here, I'm going to slowly turn them into a quilt. I didn't have the skill to do it when I had the time in junior high, but I do now. It will just take a while."
"That's a cool idea."
"Maybe I won't be crazy busy this fall and I can work on it. I already know what I'd like to do."
"Sounds like a good project for the late fall and winter when it gets dark so early that going out to do things isn't very appealing. You have that big light that you brought back when we drove the U-Haul here. That should provide plenty of light for you to work on it."
"That's what I used it for when I had it in my basement room. It was only ever super light down there a few hours a day." Kurt sighed. "Thanks for not acting bored."
"I'm not 'not acting bored'. I'm not actually bored at all. I always enjoy learning more things about you."
"You're sweet."
"I'm being honest."
"I believe you. It's just something good to get used to." He leaned into Sebastian's shoulder, but stopped short of tipping his head in mid-movement. "Ugh. I can't lay my head on your shoulder on this side. When we got back from Florida, I was going to ask you if you wanted to shower with me. I know you wanted to wait longer when I asked you in Florida two weeks ago, and I thought maybe – and then this." He looked at the black cast on his hand. "How about a different idea?"
"Like what?"
"Maybe we could sleep in our boxer briefs like you tried to do the first night we shared my bed."
Sebastian chuckled. "You were in a mood that night. A totally understandable mood, but it was everything I could do to not laugh at your response to me in my t-shirt and boxer briefs. You were adorably annoyed. I was doing my utmost to think of the least sexy thoughts possible – scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush, cleaning out a stable, that kind of thing. All I had were my form fitting boxer briefs and the t-shirt, which would not have covered up the issue I was trying to prevent. I relieved myself in the bathroom and finished with an ice cold shower to try to make it into bed without having any issues."
"And I prolonged the whole ordeal by making you leave and wait for me to get you some pajamas." Kurt chuckled.
"Exactly. Every second I was trying to play it cool…"
Kurt moved and straddled Sebastian's lap. "And now, I'm asking you if you want to sleep in just our boxer briefs. You can say no."
"I know I can. You've accepted me saying no or not yet before. I know you'd never pressure me. And I won't pressure you either." Sebastian wrapped his hands around Kurt's lower back and tipped his head up to kiss Kurt. "I will say yes to the shower whenever you feel like we can enjoy it like you want. And yes to sleeping in our boxers starting now."
"You're sure."
"I'm sure. I think I just needed time to wrap my head around the fact that this is real. I don't know if you've ever really wanted something, and then when you got it, you had this feeling that you were still imagining getting it."
"Frequently, but I look back through all of our texts and I see the progression. We let our walls down together. You became my best friend, the kind of friend I always wanted. And it's such an amazing feeling to know that you actually want to be with me. I have a hard time believing it still. But then tonight, you were so intuitive about some of the issues that I struggle with that I just know that it's real. No one has ever understood me like that. No one has ever seen my issues with my dad from my perspective. Everyone always thought he was the perfect dad. And he is a good dad. But the deep unrest between us, no one ever saw that. Like no one saw me dealing with him coming home from the hospital with the IV bag and having to keep track of his medicine and check on the shop and cook and do the shopping and all of the other stuff I already did." He leaned down and kissed Sebastian gently. "I guess that was just a super long 'yes' that I do understand the feeling you were describing – being thrilled to get what you want, while simultaneously being cautious that you're just imagining things." He ran his thumb across Sebastian's lips and kissed him again. He slid back and stood up. "I have something for you."
"What?"
"Well, in the month that we've been dating and living together full time, I've noticed you fishing for your keys a lot."
Sebastian tilted his head. "I guess I do. I've never really thought about."
"Well, Saturday on my lunch, I made you something."
Sebastian closed his eyes and held his hands out in front of him. He wiggled and bopped his head around in anticipation.
Kurt smiled at his antics. He pulled out the keychain he had made and placed it in Sebastian's hand. "You can open your eyes."
"It's a triangular keychain?"
"It is, but it's special."
"Of course it is. You made it for me." He winked at Kurt.
"You are sappy."
"Only with you. What's special about it besides it's mine and you made it for me?"
"The smaller ring can move around the triangle without being able to fall off, so you can put the triangle in different positions depending on what you fasten it to. Stand up and I'll show you"
Sebastian stood up and kissed Kurt.
He showed Sebastian each part as he described how he had made it. "I welded the small ring closed. I drilled into two ball bearings. I used a blowtorch to shape the steel rod into a triangle. I welded the first ball bearing on the one end, slipped the small ring onto the rod, and then welded the other ball bearing to the end with just a super thin space between the two ball bearings so you can clip the triangle to things."
"Superman."
Kurt shook his head, rolled his eyes, and smiled. "Watch." He took the triangular key chain and slipped the section with the two ball bearing ends right over the belt loops on Sebastian's shorts. "See, it goes on easily and you can take it off easily, but it won't fall off." Kurt slipped it off his belt loop. "And if you don't want them dangling from your belt loop, you can slip it onto your pocket, and the keys will slide around and hang down comfortably inside your pocket without falling to the bottom. It will also slip over something like a bag strap or a D-ring inside a bag. I added one to your backpack already."
"It's perfect. It's exactly what I never knew I needed."
Kurt kissed him. "It's been a great first month as your boyfriend."
"It has. Come with me so I can show you what I got for both of us." He led Kurt into the kitchen. "So, I didn't make this, but it sort of falls into the same category of things you really need – and I do as well. Wait here." He went around the end of the short kitchen wall, opened the coat closet, and pulled out a box. He sat it on the kitchen table and opened it. "So, I know you make bread to cut down on food prep in the morning."
"Mmm hmm. Plus it's cost effective."
"Yes, so these things fall into the same category. I noticed that you oftentimes seem to skip lunch, or you maybe stop somewhere and get food along the way."
"Some of both."
"Well, now you won't need to do either one. I got each of us a really nice, adult-looking lunchbox." He pulled out a midnight blue one and a dark gray one, both woven with black to give them a classic linen look. "And two matching thermoses, one larger than the other. One is for us to take yogurt and fruit smoothies in and the other is for us to take soup in. And an insulated water bottle that matches as well. I figure if we make a good menu and get a system going, we can pack our lunches every day and have the smoothies mid-afternoon. And we can eat really healthy food without spending $10 on lunch when we're just famished. I know myself well enough to know that I'll just grab a burger and fries, but I can't keep that mindset because I'm not going to be training anymore like I used to. I'm not just going to burn off 600 calories every afternoon by running and working out like I used to."
Kurt picked his lunch bag up and inspected it. "The bags have long soft nylon straps to carry them like mini-messenger bags. They do look really classy, much classier than any lunchbox I've ever seen. This was really thoughtful. Thank you." He unzipped the lunchbox and put all three black thermoses inside. "They fit perfectly."
"I figured we can refill our water bottles if need be. I also bought a mini slow cooker. We can cook extra meat at dinner every night and put it in with whatever frozen vegetables we want to use for soup the next day and turn it on before we go to bed like you do with your bread maker."
"You've been busy planning."
"You were gone for like 11 hours a day the two weeks before we left. I had a lot of time on my hands. I bookmarked a bunch of websites with soup and smoothie recipes too. I found some cookbooks that looked promising, but I'd like to look at them in person before choosing one. Maybe we can go to a bookstore after the flea market on Sunday."
Kurt wrapped his arms around Sebastian. "No one has ever done anything like this for me. Thank you. We can look through the websites tomorrow evening and we can make our first lunches tomorrow evening. And a bookstore on Sunday sounds good." He stepped closer and reached up and ran his hand through Sebastian's hair and pecked him on the lips. "I'm going to go ahead and shower."
"I'll load all of this in the dishwasher while you do that."
"It's dishwasher safe?"
"Yep. That was one of my requirements. I didn't want getting this stuff adding to the list of things we already have to do by having to hand wash them."
"Perfect."
X-X-X-X-X
"So, what do you think?" Kurt asked. Since his back was injured, he was the big spoon and had his arm under Sebastian's and across his chest.
"I can feel your skin on mine practically everywhere. It's very arousing, yet it's really calming. I definitely like it."
"Me too. Three weeks and I'll be able to get this cast off, I hope."
"The bruises should heal up by then too. Do you have any arnica?"
"I actually do. I used to use it on all of bruises I used to get from the locker shoves. I usually keep it in my storage box of extra skincare stuff in the closet, but I moved it to my stuff in the bathroom until my eye is healed up. We can put some on tomorrow. I'm too comfy to get up or let you up."
"Okay."
"I told my dad about how I had taken a few martial arts lessons with a guy from my Stage Combat class. He wants both of us to sign up for lessons."
"Sure. I mentioned earlier this evening how I'm not training like I used to for lacrosse. A martial arts class will help keep me flexible and in shape."
"I'll have to modify my yoga training until I get this cast off and maybe for a while after that."
"You're thinking too much."
"I know."
"How about if I lie on my back and you splay out on top of me like you like. At least that way we can kiss until your brain turns off and you fall asleep."
"Sounds very comfy. I love kissing you." He scooted back and they rearranged.
X-X-X-X-X
Two days later after dinner, they were talking while sitting in the corner of the sofa, with their feet propped up on the ottoman.
"Now that you've had the chance to attend your classes for a few days, what do you think?" Kurt asked.
"The physics class is very intensive and challenging, but not impossibly hard. Calculus III is like every other calculus class – lots of calculations using increasingly complex methods of computation. There's really nothing hard about math. It's really just super detail-oriented and requires a lot of focused effort. I think your statistics class will probably more difficult in the aspect of deciding what type of graph best portrays the data. Knowing which type of data is the best to collect or use from the provided information and the collection frequency requires knowledge of the data being gathered. Measuring a growing child every day versus measuring them once a year will yield two very different graphs or charts."
"That's true. I've never take a statistics class before, but I already appreciate the real-life application to regular, everyday activities. I think after Algebra 1 and Geometry, the rest of the math classes I took lacked everyday, real-life applications. I mean I haven't had to solve an equation with three variables in the whole year I've been out of high school. And disappointingly, not a single triangle has approached me to ask me to help it calculate the sine of its largest angle."
Sebastian cracked up laughing.
"All that effort and not a single chance to show off my amazing trigonometry skills before I forgot every formula I ever memorized."
Sebastian was still chuckling. "You have plenty of amazing skills, babe." He leaned in closer. "Like you're amazing kissing skills. I'm sure that you have other amazing things you can do with that talented tongue." He just barely licked the edge of Kurt's earlobe.
Kurt blushed. "I guess we'll find out some day. There's a first time for everything, right?"
Sebastian sat back up straight and looked at Kurt. "Wait, what?"
"What what?" Kurt tilted his head slightly. "Are we not talking about the same thing?"
"I'm pretty sure we are. I just didn't realize."
"Oh. Well, I haven't done that."
"Because you don't want to?"
"No. I mean no, it wasn't because I don't want to." He closed his eyes. "Can we talk about it another time? I've been looking forward to snuggling with you and watching the third season of Downton Abbey with you all week."
"Sure." Sebastian leaned back into the sofa near the corner.
Kurt snuggled into his side.
"I want to see it too. It was a great find in that used bookshop in St. Augustine." He picked the remote up from the cushion next to him. He relaxed and closed his eyes for just a minute before he started it. He could feel Kurt's rhythmic breathing, but something felt off, like Kurt wasn't completely relaxed. Then, he felt a little catch in Kurt's breath. He opened his eyes. "Are you in pain like this? Should we try rearranging again?" And then he maybe he had to do with what Kurt didn't want to talk about. "You're not having doubts about being good enough again, aren't you?"
"That was two questions. To answer the first one, I don't think I can get 100% comfortable, not yet. Maybe in a few more days. And to your second question, the answer is that even when there are times that I don't feel like I am, I trust you to be honest with me. I keep telling myself the things you tell me, which is that I'm enough, and I'm working on believing it."
"Well, I am right. You are enough. More than enough. I love you and you're amazing." Sebastian kissed him on the forehead. "Is there some way we can rearrange so you'll be more comfortable?"
"I love you too." He took a deep breath. "I think once it starts, I'll be focused on what's going on and I won't think about it as much."
Sebastian kissed the top of Kurt's head.
Kurt moved his hand a little more towards Sebastian's shoulder, and then again even higher. He relaxed his hand, so his fingers were draped over the curve of Sebastian's shoulder. "Is this okay?"
"It's fine. Are you more comfortable now?"
"I am. You're so attentive. It's really sweet." He ran his thumb along Sebastian's collarbone, gently caressing the exposed skin along the top of his t-shirt. "You're a really great boyfriend. By the way, everything was delicious today."
"I thought so too. We'll definitely keep last night's recipe. Are you ready?"
"Yeah."
Sebastian picked the remote up and started the episode.
X-X-X-X-X
Friday evening, Sebastian got home a little after Kurt. He found him sitting in the living room working on part of a costume that he couldn't identify at first. "Hey, babe." He leaned over the back of the sofa and kissed Kurt. "What are you working on?"
Kurt lifted it up so that Sebastian could see it.
He then recognized it as the bodice and sleeves to a fancy dress. "That looks like something Morgana would wear on Merlin."
Kurt looked up and over his shoulder. "You like Merlin?"
"Of course. Although, it would be just a bit more fun if two of the king's knights were gay."
Kurt laughed. "One of them, or both, would need to have magic to keep from being caught."
"Ooh, now that could make it even more fun."
"Before I forget, I know we were supposed to go to Santana and Dani's, but it's taking me a lot longer to do the work on this with my left hand in a cast, so they're coming over here instead. They're bringing Chinese from the place we like."
"That works for me."
Kurt rolled his neck around in a circle a few times.
"Before they get here, leave that for a few minutes and let me give you a shoulder rub."
"Oh, God that would be great." He placed the bodice gently to the side and went into their bedroom. He stripped off his shirt and plopped face down on the bed.
Sebastian chuckled. "A bit of melodrama?"
"Of course. My hand is in a freaking cast and I want to keep my placement in the advanced group. I need to have the bodice done by Monday and I still want to do our weekend stuff together."
Sebastian stepped back out and grabbed the arnica and the lotion Kurt told him to use so he could put clothes on afterwards and not need to shower first. He went back in the room and climbed on the bed and straddled Kurt. "I'm going to put more of the arnica on you before you get up."
"Can you do that first? It still hurts when you do it and if you do it last, I'll just tense up again."
"Of course." Sebastian put both tubes and the wet wipe pack on the bed, climbed back over Kurt, and got situated. A few minutes later, he wiped his fingers off and moved to the shoulder and neck massage.
X-X-X-X-X
Kurt woke up a bit groggy and he could hear people talking. It took him a second to focus.
"How's he doing?" Santana asked.
"He's tough. He doesn't complain, except the cast is slowing down his sewing, which was aggravating him. I gave him a shoulder rub and he fell asleep. His eye is looking a lot better. He's been putting arnica on it and I've been putting it on his back, which looks better too."
Dani asked, "How long does he have to have the cast?"
"Three to four weeks."
Santana sighed. "Damn, that's like most of the summer class he's taking."
"Yep. Let me go get him so we can eat. He's going to sew on the bodice he was working on while we watch movies."
Dani said, "I'll go get him."
Sebastian nodded.
She knocked on the door gently, even though it was partially open. He was sitting on the edge of the bed buttoning his shirt.
"Hey. You're awake. We're getting ready to eat."
"I finished the rest of the song."
"Really? That's exciting."
"It's for three girls, but I want to sing it with you and Santana. I'll need you to play guitar."
"No problem. We can take the music home with us and learn it. I'm excited to see the whole thing." She turned to go back into the kitchen. "Let's eat while it's hot."
Kurt followed her in and sat down. They talked while they ate.
"I've decided to go to school this fall," Santana said. "I'm going to study Public and International Affairs. I've lived here just long enough to see that a lot of things need to change. I've never had trouble getting people to listen to me and I've decided that I'm just going to go all the way and use my bitch powers for everyone else's good as well as my own."
"That's an interesting field," Kurt said. "I don't really know what you do with a degree in it, but if it interests you, go for it."
"I still have enough money from what my parents gave me to cover the cost. And I figured I can study while I sit around in the theater every night. I just hated it in Louisville, but I think this will be a lot better. I like it here in New York City. As for what to do with it, I'm thinking maybe being a publicist or part of a PR team and maybe eventually politics when I'm older. People are working themselves to an early grave here. I mean look what you were doing and still are doing. You were working the equivalent of a full-time job, plus another part-time job and going to school. You're still working full-time and going to school. People can just work like that until they're 70. Minimum wage just has to be raised in New York City. The cost of living here is insane."
Kurt smiled and thought about the influence someone like Santana could have if she could harness it. "Snixx could kick butt and make big changes for a lot of people who deserve it if you can keep her bitchiness down just below the level of truly pissing people off. I'm glad for you, really," Kurt said. "I really think you could make a big difference."
"I know. I know. I'm trying. I think I can do this."
