Chapter Fifteen

It had been a month. A month without seeing or hearing from the one person I craved to see. My ex, Mike, had finally gotten the message. Word on the street said that Jessica Stanley had already moved in.

I rubbed my face as I got yet another 'We regret to inform you that the position has now been filled' email in my inbox. I sighed, wishing I could get a break and find a decent job, which would help me get my own place. Don't get me wrong, I loved living with my mom. There was always a nice, warm dinner ready for me at night, my laundry arrived at my bedroom door and there was always someone to talk to, but I missed my privacy. After being unhappy with Mike for so long, I needed a place of my own. I needed somewhere where I could discover what I wanted to do with my life, and who I wanted in it. The only job that came falling into my lap was the one where mom worked. I had to give some kind of reasoning behind my thanks-but-no-thanks reply to her big boss, one that didn't uncover the fact that I had spent a passionate night with one of the lead mechanics there. I told mom that I wanted to stand on my own two feet, and not in her shadow. If I were to go work with my mom, it meant that everyone would walk on eggshells around me. They'd all know it was me, Bella Swan, Renée's daughter and no one would treat me like my own person. Not to mention the fact that I would have to see Edward Cullen every day; the one person that went out of his way to never see me again probably.

My entire life was turned upside-down, with me sleeping until noon and going to bed past two a.m. I just couldn't help myself. I had no one, and nothing to get up for. My days consisted of scouring the internet in search of a job and watching brain numbing Netflix series. Most of the jobs I found that offered a reasonable salary required skills or diplomas I didn't have. Who would have thought that you needed a degree to copy files all day? In between doing that and roaming restlessly around my mother's apartment, I spent a ridiculous amount of time looking through Edward's social media profiles. He wasn't one to update much, but I was a fool, and I loved staring at his pictures. His relationship status turned to single, with an array of thirsty females responding to it. He didn't reply to a single comment. When I went to check up on Irina's profile, I saw she had already moved on and was dating some kind of IT-guy.

The truth of the matter was I simply couldn't stop thinking about Edward. I had also been thinking a lot about the way I left his house that day, about the way we left things. I knew that I pushed him away because I wanted time for myself. I needed time to think about my options, the ones I never thought I would ever require. I needed time for myself because I had been with someone who didn't care about me for so long that even I'd basically forgotten what I wanted out of life. It felt like I didn't know anything anymore. The moment I stepped into my car to leave for my mom's place, I knew I wouldn't hear from him for a long time; perhaps not at all. Edward wasn't a chaser, I knew that, yet I somehow still felt disappointed that I hadn't heard from him at all. We used to text all the time and the fact that he hadn't even messaged a quick 'hi', upset me more than I wanted to admit. How could it be that a person gets disheartened when somebody acts in the exact same way you expected them to act?

I caught myself too many times already trying to compose a text message to send to Edward. I wanted to Break The Silence between us, to get rid of this tension, but I never let myself press the send button. Instead, I always erased everything. I didn't know why, but I was afraid of getting rejected. If Edward didn't reply, I knew it would hurt just too much, so I just decided not to send him anything at all. I could just ignore everything else.

"Bella, come here!"

My mom's voice echoed through the condo. I got up from behind my desk and followed the noises coming from the kitchen. Mom was busy pouring her homemade pasta sauce in a giant oven pan that held cannelloni with minced beef and ricotta cheese. One of my favorite dishes.. The kitchen already smelled amazing, like butter and onions from when she fried the meat for the pasta stuffing.

"What's up, Mom?"

I leaned against the fridge, painfully aware that the lifting of her brow meant I probably looked like shit. After all, I hadn't washed my hair in about a week and the sweater I wore hadn't left my body for two days straight.

"I think it's probably best if you take a shower, get dressed in some clean clothes, and afterward join me and Sue for appetizers and dinner, okay?"

"Oh, Sue's coming over? That's nice!" I replied, avoiding her request for my self-care.

"Yeah she got done early today. Since the assistant quit earlier this week a lot of meetings were pushed back in order to get all the administration done on time."

Mom smiled, throwing the flamingo-adorned dish towel over her shoulder.

"I'm glad you're happy, Mom. I really am."

I smiled back at her.

"Well, sweetheart, I know you will be too. Might not be as soon as you'd like, but I know someone will make you happy one day. They better, since my daughter is incredible and all," Mom winked, making me snort.

"You don't have to practice your flirting skills on your daughter, Mom. That's just tacky," I joked.

"Before I forget, you should come to happy hour tomorrow night. It would be good for you; a night out to let your hair down and busy yourself with something else than job hunting."

Happy hour with the guys from work.

"Will Sue come as well?" I wondered, stuffing my hands in the pockets of my sweatpants.

"Yeah, if she can make it. It's Emmett's wife's birthday so a few of her friends will be there too."

"Oh, so you're trying to get me to make some friends, huh? Smooth, Mother."

"It wouldn't be bad for you, you know."

I hummed my response.

I knew she was right.

"Fine, I'll come."

My mom beamed at me before the pasta regained all her attention again.

"Now go shower, you smell like a fifteen-year-old boy."

I rolled my eyes but followed her orders.