42
While in route Ianto pulled a bag out from under the seat and stood in the large cabin area in the back of the helicopter. John felt his mouth go dry as Ianto calmly began removing his trousers and then in only silk boxers, he bent over the bag on the seat to dig around and come up with black combat pants, pulling them on and then repeating for the top half.
OK.
Jack's mouth had long since gone dry as well and Ianto turned to speak to him while his chest was still bare, showing that chest of hair Jack loved so much and John made a small noise in his throat not unlike that of a dog being teased with a piece of meat.
"Mine" Jack said under his breath, and then tried to focus on Ianto asking for the other bag under his seat. Jack rose and got it, watching as Ianto pulled on the body hugging stab shirt. It looked like it was painted on and Jack blinked furiously to tell himself to behave, then remembered John, glancing over to find him zoned out.
"Kevlar" Jack finally managed to choke out, hoping he sounded normal.
"Yes. Military upgrade. Looks like a muscle-T but is in fact a stab proof material not unlike that used for the modern butcher's gloves and shark-proof wetsuits. Looks just like a normal t-shirt." Ianto said as he clipped on his gun belt and adjusted it as Jack sighed softly.
"Normal" John squeaked over in the other seat "Nothing about you is normal Eye Candy."
Ianto just grunted as he checked himself then sat to do up the combat boots. Jack settled back next to John as they became the Mutual Ianto Fucking Jones Admiration Club.
"Right, ready to roll" Ianto said as he settled and buckled himself in, winking at Jack who grinned happily as he knew damned well that shirt would be sooo fun to peel off later.
They landed and Ianto swung out the door like a fucking monkey, Jack and John eagerly following and Jack grabbed John's arm. John turned expecting a bollocking or even a thump but instead Jack nodded at Ianto to let John know this was Ianto's party. Oh. OK. John was down with that. All the better to watch that arse. Taught. Taught like a …oh. Now he got why he called him Tiger. Right.
"Brigadier Winchester!" Ianto roared as he strode toward the group of men looking at papers and the man swung to watch the handsome young man storm towards him.
"That's close enough solider!" a twat to one side roared "And …. You will stand to attention when you are addressed by a superior!"
Ianto stopped walking and took in the fool as the Brigadier turned to look at him too, the amusement clear as he then turned back to Ianto and shrugged. Not his man. From another clean-up unit somewhere around here. Right. Ianto heard his thoughts so clearly, the amusement and the quiet hope that Ianto would take him down a peg as he had been annoying at this site all day, clearly trying to shirk the work at the other site.
"Yes" Ianto said softly, the low dangerous rumble making Jack grab John's arm as they watched from the sidelines "You should really watch who you are addressing around here. Might be you are speaking to Her Majesty's own Man in a tone not befitting his statue as Her Hand."
The Brigadier swung to the twat who stood eyeballing Ianto with confusion "Huh?"
"Huh?" John parodied then giggled as he clutched Jack back, watching with glee as Ianto took three long and deliberate steps into the twat's face.
"ATTENNNNNNN SHUN!" Ianto roared, more than one in the area stopping their work to slam their heels together automatically "GET THEE GONE YOU FUCKING GIRL'S BLOUSE!"
The Brigadier smiled sweetly to the hapless man "you heard him. Special Agent Jones was quite clear."
"Yes" William said a she stepped up from beside Jack and John "My Granny's man is quite clear."
"Your Royal Highness!" the Brigadier said with delight rushing to him "So lovely to see you. Should have known that was your bird coming in to land!"
"MMmmmmm" Ianto said, now tipping his head back to look down his nose at the man frozen in place with total horror "Anyone should have seen a royal crest on the side. Shame… I had heard of colour-blindness. Never heard of Fucktard Vision though."
"Fucktard Vision" John sank to his knees, unable to stop laughing as he watched Ianto swing so delicately on one heel, like a dancer "you there. Captain Graham. Get this man out of my sight before I take what is left of his career."
"SIR! YES SIR!" the man said, eager to help as no one liked the fucker and this was truly an epic day.
Ianto then turned to the Brigadier "Now my good man. What has happened to your reporting? Hmmm? Nothing for over a week old man."
"What?" the Brigadier spluttered, then he turned to start roaring at his men about their incompetence and downright dickery.
"Dickery. Is that a word?" John asked now in control of himself.
"Hickory dickory dock. Like… Dickery dick?" Jack asked and they both giggled like school girls as Ianto stood waiting for his reports.
"OK" John finally said once he had breath again "I REALLY like him ya know Javic!"
"Yeah" Jack sighed happily "He is amazing, isn't he."
