Note: 100 chapters in, I just want to record my thanks to you for reading this story, and express my gratitude to everyone who leaves a review, whether you're someone who reviews every update, or who leaves the occasional comment. I wouldn't still be writing this if it wasn't for you (and Ste and Brendan of course...)
"Ready to go?" I say, or maybe I just think it; but either way, he nods.
We let go of each other, and retrieve our jackets from the chairs where we'd left them. Another song has started playing, and the party carries on: if anyone's attention was on us, it isn't any more.
I think of Padraig. Look around for him: expect him to appear mortified from the sight of us dancing like that, but instead, he meets my eyes, and comes over to us.
"So we'll see you in the morning," I say. "Good lad."
"Okay."
His latest growth-spurt has grown him into his suit, but he himself has not yet caught up with either the suit or the body clothed in it. He's awkward, on the cusp. Tired from his long day, too – the early start, the journey, the socialising – which adds to it.
I reach my arm round his shoulders, and hug him to me for a second: don't think about it till I've let go, because it wasn't thinking that made me do it. Love, I suppose it was.
"Your brother will be down in a minute," I say.
"Cool."
Steven and I head for the door. We turn back for one last look at our party, and from across the room, Cheryl blows us a kiss. Thank you, I mouth to her, and then we're out in the cold air.
Shoulder to shoulder along the narrow path between the lanterns. Not speaking, till he says, "Better message Dec so they know we're coming."
"Why are we whispering?" I whisper.
He laughs softly, whispers back, "Cos it's night time."
We've stopped while he sends the message. He pockets his phone, and I start to walk again, only he catches my arm and I turn to him and we kiss. His fingers are cool at the nape of my neck, his touch light.
When we get inside the hotel, I say, "Stairs or lift?"
"Shall we get the lift?"
"Okay." I press the call button, and the door slides open. "Danced your feet off, have you?"
"Yeah, I'm knackered now." He leans on me as the lift rises slowly to the second floor.
We walk along to our suite. Declan is waiting for us outside the door, holding it open just enough to stop it clicking closed.
"Alright?" he whispers. "The kids are asleep, so."
We follow him inside. The room is dark but the door to the bedroom is ajar, letting enough light through that we can pick our way towards it, past the sleeping kids.
We go in. Seth is putting his jacket on; he throws Declan his: "Here, pal."
"Cheers," says Declan quietly, then he says to us, "We thought it was gonna be Auntie Cheryl taking over the babysitting from us, till you texted."
"I know," says Steven in a whisper. "We thought we'd let everyone finish the party together, though, cos you've all come all this way."
"Class," says Seth.
"We're keeping all three kids an' all, till the morning, so Amy and Mitzeee an't got to worry. Have they been good?"
"Leah was awake for, like, five minutes, after Amy left," Declan says. "But we've literally not heard a sound from them since then."
"You lads get back to the party," I say. "We'll see you at breakfast."
"Your key's just there," says Declan. "And Amy told us we had to keep the bedroom door open and leave the light on in here, so if the kids woke up, they could find us."
"Ta," says Steven. "That's what we'll do, then."
He sees the two lads out of the suite. I watch from the bedroom doorway as he closes the door silently behind them; then he stands for a moment listening to the children breathing, before he comes back to me.
"They'll be alright, will they, the kids?" I ask. "Nicky, I mean – he'll be expecting to see his mum when he wakes up."
"He'll be fine, soon as he sees Leah and Lucas. Mitzeee said she'll keep her phone on, so we can phone her if we've got to, but hopefully he'll sleep till the morning anyway."
"Okay."
We take our jackets off and hang them in the wardrobe.
"I'm not even gonna have a shower," Steven whispers, taking off his tie. "Just me teeth and a quick wash – I'm that tired."
"Same here. You go first, go on."
He manages to unclip one of his cufflinks; I undo the other one for him.
"Ta." He takes off his shoes. "Won't be long."
He doesn't go, though – not straight away. He turns to me, hangs his arms round my neck, and I hold him, and we stand like that for a minute, doing nothing else. Just breathing.
Then he goes.
I turn off the light on his side of the bed, and dim the one on my side as low as it will go. Consider for a moment if that's enough for the kids to follow in from the other room if they wake; turn it up a little just to be sure.
There are two parallel impressions in the bed covers, where Declan and Seth must have been lying down. I wonder what they talked about.
I move Steven's shoes out of the way, then take mine off and put them on the floor beside his. Get undressed down to my boxers.
Pull the cover back, and sit on the bed waiting for Steven to vacate the bathroom.
He comes out wearing a bathrobe, carrying his clothes.
"Would've been quicker, only me trousers wouldn't come off over me feet." He laughs a version of his laugh, muted.
"You should'a asked," I whisper as I pass him on my way to the bathroom. "I could'a given them a tug..."
:::::::
When I come out from the bathroom, he's in bed, with his posh pyjamas on.
I change into a fresh pair of boxers and a T-shirt.
I get on the bed then. Lie on him, full length, him under the covers, me on top of them because nothing can happen tonight.
"Alright?" he whispers.
"Alright."
I kiss his lips, two, three, four times, before I feel his tongue come into my mouth. It tastes of nothing: pure.
I raise myself up so he can free his arms from under the covers, then I bear down on him again, and we kiss again, his hands in my hair this time.
Might be the longest kiss we've ever had.
When I get off him and get into bed, we lie face to face.
"Thank you," he whispers.
"I know it was a good kiss, but you don't have to thank me..."
He laughs, muffling the sound under the blankets. Then he says, "I meant, for today."
"I know."
"I love you so much."
"I love you too."
:::::::
I wake up with Steven gently shaking my shoulder.
He's beside me, half sitting up. I squint at him. "Mm?"
"I can hear the telly," he says. "The kids, they're awake."
"What's the time?"
"Eight, just gone."
"Okay. Could be worse."
We get up. I find my jogging bottoms in a drawer and put them on. He darts into the bathroom and comes out wearing a bathrobe over his pyjamas.
We go and see what the kids are up to, and it looks like they're managing without us: all three of them are in their dressing gowns, and they've found a children's TV channel to watch.
"Morning," Steven says to them.
Leah and Lucas greet us. Nicky doesn't say anything, but he doesn't seem fazed.
"You didn't take us to Mum's room," Lucas says.
"That's because you was all comfy in here," says Steven. "You don't mind, do you?"
"It's cool," says Lucas. "I went to see who was in the bed, then I came and told Leah it was you and Brendan."
Steven laughs. "Who else would it be, eh?"
"Mum and Simon," says Lucas. "If you'd, like, swapped."
"Oh, right, I get you now."
"Then we explained it to Nicky," says Leah.
"Aww, that's good." Steven squats down and says to Nicky, "We'll phone your mummy in a minute, so she knows you're up, and then she can come and fetch you. But shall we get all your faces washed and your teeth brushed first? Good boy, you come with me. You come an' all, Lucas, yeah?"
"Okay," says Lucas. "Come on, Nicky."
Steven takes the two wee boys off.
"See if there's water in that kettle over there?" I say to Leah, and she goes and checks, while I start folding up the kids' bedding.
"There is," she says, and switches it on for me.
"You had a good day yesterday, did you? Enjoyed seeing everyone?"
"I had a lovely time." She looks like her father when she smiles.
Like her dad, I mean. Like Steven.
:::::::
I've folded up all the kids' bedding and their clothes from last night, and made and drunk a cup of coffee, by the time Steven's back from the bathroom with Lucas and Nicky.
Leah is just finishing a banana I've given her from the fruit bowl.
"That's a good idea," says Steven. "Keep you going till you get downstairs for brekkie, eh? Go on, you two, pick what you want. And Leah, go and have a wash and do your teeth, alright?"
She goes. The other two look in the fruit bowl, and Lucas takes the only banana that's left. Nicky looks gutted.
"It's okay, Nicky," Lucas says. "You can share my one."
We stand and watch them for a few moments, while Lucas peels the banana, breaks it in half, and solemnly measures the two halves against each other to make sure it's fair.
Steven touches my arm; strokes up from my elbow, his fingertips sliding in between the short sleeve of my T-shirt, and my skin.
It rocks me, sometimes, being touched like that: the intimacy of it, born of its casualness. It's not for anything.
I look at him.
Almost silently, so Lucas and Nicky won't know they're being talked about, he says to me, "So sweet."
"If the wee one's making you broody, you got another think coming..."
He laughs. "Don't be daft. Although, I bet you'd look well cute, holding a little baby."
I roll my eyes. "Kettle's hot, if you want a coffee."
:::::::
I grab the bathroom after Leah comes out.
When I've dried off after my shower, I look for a bathrobe to put on, but there's none there: Steven is wearing one, of course, and the other one must be wherever he left it when he took it off yesterday. So I put my joggers back on, rather than just a towel, in case I encounter the kids before I have a chance to get dressed.
When I leave the bathroom, Steven is coming into the bedroom from the lounge.
"Good timing," he says. "I was just gonna see if I could sneak in there and get the kids' toothbrushes and that."
"Ste?" It's Amy's voice: she walks into the bedroom. "Don't worry for now, I can – Oh." She stops when she sees me.
"Amy," I say.
"'Oh' what?" says Anne, behind Amy in the doorway; she comes in too, and looks me up and down. "Oh. Good morning."
"Anne."
"What were you gonna say, Ames?" Steven asks.
"Just, I can fetch their toothbrushes after breakfast if it's easier."
"I'll get them," I say. "It's no trouble."
I turn and go back into the bathroom, collect up anything I can see that belongs to our kids or Nicky, and bring it out.
Amy picks Leah and Lucas's things out of my hands.
"Thanks," she says.
I give the remaining toothbrush and toothpaste to Anne.
"Right, let's leave Brendan to get dressed, eh?" Steven says.
Amy has already left the room. Anne stops on her way out, looks at me, and fans herself with her hand. Steven gives her a shove, follows her out, and shuts the door.
:::::::
He comes back in as I'm buckling my belt.
"They all gone?" I ask.
"Yeah. We'll see them down at brekkie."
"Good."
"You didn't have nothing on under them trackies you was wearing before, did you," he says. It's a statement, not a question.
I frown at him. "No. I only put them on for decency, coming out from the shower. Why? You could tell, could you?"
"Couldn't miss it, mate. Neither could Amy and Mitzeee."
"Okay."
"Still," he says. "At least they know now why I like you."
He keeps a straight face for a second or two, till one of us cracks – might be me – and we're both laughing.
I catch him by the front of his robe, pull him to me.
"Like me, do you?"
He answers with a kiss.
"Right, Bren – " he says, and I kiss him again. "No, not now."
I stop. "No?"
"I need to have me shower and get dressed. And you need to go downstairs, right, because there'll be people there by now – our lot, I mean, our guests, yeah? – and the lads have not got long, have they, before they go to the airport, so they're most likely having their breakfast already. So, go and spend a few more minutes with them."
"Alright, yeah."
"I won't be long, I'll be as quick as I can."
I nod. Kiss his forehead. "Okay."
:::::::
Steven was right about Declan and Padraig being down for breakfast by now. When I walk into the hotel's restaurant, they and Seth are stood at the table along the side of the room, getting themselves some cereal and so on.
Cheryl and Nate are already sitting down, sharing a table with Curtis and Suki; Tony and Jacqueline are at another table.
"How'd you get on with your wee crèche?" Cheryl asks. "Did they let you get your beauty sleep, eh?"
I point at my face. "Can't you tell?" Then I say, "Don't answer that."
They laugh.
I go over to where the lads are.
"You're meant to sit down first, then they come and ask what you want," says Padraig. "That's if you want something hot. And then you come here and get anything else you like."
"Yeah? Well, I'm gonna..." I stop a waitress who's just delivered breakfasts to Cheryl's table and, as an Irish breakfast is not on offer, I ask for a full English. Almost order the same for Steven, but think better of it: he can decide what he wants for himself.
"Would you like coffee or tea?" the waitress asks.
"Coffee."
"And where are you sitting?"
"Dunno. With these three, wherever they're sitting. Thank you."
"You're welcome."
They've got wicker baskets full of those one-person-sized boxes of breakfast cereals, and Padraig is deciding which kind he wants.
"They got Coco Pops there?" I ask him.
"Yeah, here you go." He hands me one.
"Is that the last one?"
He checks if there's another pack hidden among the rest.
"Think they're all gone. They've got everything else though. No, wait up, here's one." He grins at me. "You having two?"
"For the kids." I hide them under my jumper, and wink at him. He laughs.
I grab myself a green apple, and we go and sit down with Declan and Seth.
:::::::
When Amy, Simon and the kids arrive, it's like there are twice as many people in the room all of a sudden, just from the way Leah and Lucas start chatting to the lads as if it's been weeks – not hours – since they've seen them.
It takes a few minutes for Amy to organise them, and then she lets them go to pick what they want to start their breakfast. She and Simon sit down at the table next to Cheryl's.
I go over to Leah and Lucas as they contemplate the choice of cereals. I sneak the Coco Pops onto the table in front of them.
"Contraband. Tell no one..."
"Coco Pops!" says Lucas. "No way!"
"Yes way." Then I go back to the lads and pick up my coffee. "I'll leave you fellas to it, make room so the kids can sit here with you, okay?"
I look around for another table, and Tony beckons me, so I go over to theirs.
"Want to join us, Brendan?" he says.
I sit.
"You lost your hubby?" asks Jacqueline.
"He's just running late. Been dealing with kids all morning, so."
My breakfast arrives – it gets taken to the lads' table at first, but Declan redirects it to me.
"I bet Mitzeee and Amy and their other halves appreciated it," says Tony, "Having you looking after the little ones all night."
"Steven's idea," I say. "How'd the party go, after we left?"
"It was great, wasn't it, Jac? We haven't danced that much in years."
"If ever," she says. "Didn't wear you out, though..."
I glance up from my plate, and they're looking into each other's eyes. They're glowing, the pair of them. Afterglow is what it obviously is.
Almost puts me off my bacon.
I look elsewhere. From where I'm sitting, I can see Amy's hand on Simon's thigh. At the next table, Nate says something to Cheryl, and they smile at each other, and kiss.
Must be something in the air.
My phone vibrates, and I answer it, "Steven. Where are you?"
"I'm on me way. But listen, can you ask if someone's got some makeup remover?"
Then a voice in the background says, "Eye makeup remover."
"Eye makeup remover," Steven says. "Peri needs it, else she's staying upstairs."
"He wants eye makeup remover," I say.
"Ste does?" says Tony.
"For Peri."
"Oh, right. I was going to say. Not that there's anything wrong with, you know, men experimenting with – "
"Stop talking, love," says Jacqueline; then she says to me, "I've got some upstairs. Our room's next door to theirs anyway – tell him I'll go up."
"Jacqueline's on her way," I tell Steven.
"Magic. See you in a sec."
Jacqueline stands up. She squeezes Tony's shoulder as she goes by. He gazes at her till she's out of sight.
"God's sake, Tony. Marry the girl."
He looks surprised to hear me say that. I am too, to be honest.
He collects himself.
"You think I haven't asked?" he says. "I'd marry her tomorrow if I could, only every time I ask, she says we're fine as we are."
"Ask again." I pause. "It's things you don't think of. I was next of kin when he... And I don't even know if I would'a been, if we hadn'a been married. Couldn'a stood that."
And then Steven walks in, along with Tegan. They say hello to everyone, and Steven comes over to us, smiling, walking tall in his dark blue tracksuit, with the top zipped all the way up. He looks as good as he looked in his suit last night.
I stand, and kiss him on the cheek, then pull out a chair for him, and he sits down beside me.
:::::::
It's a full house now. Anne, Richard and Nicky have come down, Jacqueline is back, and finally Leela and Peri have put in an appearance.
I've finished my breakfast. Steven is ploughing his way through his – he got the full English too – but he's more interested in talking than eating.
"I've had enough now," he says. "You can have me sausage if you want."
"Can I..?"
He looks at me through his eyelashes. "D'you want it?"
"Uh huh..."
"Don't mind us," says Jacqueline.
Steven and I both let out the laugh that was coming.
"Brendan's been telling me we ought to get married," Tony says to her.
"You and Brendan?" she says.
"Very funny. You and me, Jacqui."
"Brendan's been saying that?" says Steven.
"No," I say. "Just chewing the fat, is all."
"Well, you two obviously haven't lost your spark," says Tony. "You seem like it suits you, being married."
"It does, yeah," says Steven. "I mean, I didn't even know if I would feel any different, cos we was gonna be together for ever in any case, even if we never got married. But I did feel different, like, massively. Cos it's official, then, innit, with your names in a big book – and you see them programmes on telly, don't you, when someone goes and looks in the records from, like, a hundred years ago, and it's the names of people who got married, written down together for ever. And I know that sounds stupid, cos we've both been married before, and them times weren't for ever. But like, when it matches what's inside here, it just makes you feel..."
He hugs his arms round himself momentarily. Then he shrugs, suddenly self conscious.
"That's really lovely, Ste," says Tony.
"I can't think of the right words."
"You got the words right," I say, and I touch his back.
:::::::
As we've finished breakfast, we've relocated to the bar.
Padraig and Declan have been up to collect their bags and their coats from their bedroom, and Padraig is standing talking with us while we wait for Nate and Cheryl to come back down.
"Dad," Padraig says, "You know all the people here, like, everyone who came for the party – do they all know about stuff?"
"'Stuff'?"
"I mean, y'know, stuff that you did. Dealing, and, like, what you went to prison for, sort'a thing."
Okay.
"I'm not... I guess so, yeah." I look at Steven for help. "The Lomaxes do, do they? I guess they do?"
"I'd say everybody knows some of it, Paddy, yeah," Steven says. "I mean, Leah and Lucas were only little when they found some things out, so I'm not exactly sure what they, like, understand, and what they might've even forgot. And I don't think they ever knew about the dealing. But if they ask any questions, what we'll do – us and Amy – is, we won't lie. It's just, we'll only tell them as much as we absolutely have to."
I wasn't fully aware of this policy: I didn't know lying had been ruled out.
"How about Curtis and Suki?" I ask. "What do they know?"
"Curtis knows a few things," Steven says. "And he would've told Suki, wouldn't he, cos she's his best mate. Why did you ask, Paddy? Everything alright, is it?"
"S'alright, yeah. Just, it's weird that everyone knows, but they still came, so."
"They're here for Steven."
"No. They're here for both of us. Cos, think about it, Paddy, yeah? You could've said you'd never give your dad a chance, but you did give him a chance, and you made up your own mind, from seeing who he is now instead of what's happened in the past. So I suppose that's what everyone is doing, in a way. Does that make sense?"
Padraig nods.
Cheryl comes into the bar.
"Alright, Paddy? Declan? There you are – yous all set?"
Nate comes in too. "They're bringing the car round. Better say our farewells."
They both start circulating. Padraig goes over to Declan, and they tell Leah and Lucas they're leaving. Luckily it seems the kids are in too buoyant a mood to be sad: there's a lot of laughter.
"Shall we go and see them off outside?" Steven says.
We leave the bar and stand in the foyer to wait.
Hugo appears from a door somewhere.
"Good morning," he says.
"Morning."
"Hiya, alright?"
"Your sister is leaving shortly, I'm told?"
"You're well informed. She's saying her goodbyes in the bar – could take a while."
"I just wanted to say goodbye to her myself before she goes. Anything I can do for you in the mean time?"
"Everything's amazing," Steven says. "The party was amazing. And everyone says it was amazing after me and Brendan went to bed, an' all, right up to the end."
"Did Steven mention it was amazing?" I say, and Steven gives me a withering look for taking the piss.
"Well, I'm glad to hear it," says Hugo.
"We'll need the extra bed taken back out of our room, if it's not been done by now," I say.
"I'll check that for you."
The lads come out from the bar, along with Seth, and Amy, Simon and the kids.
"Ste, are you sticking around down here?" Amy asks. "We'll be about half an hour, I suppose."
"Yeah, we'll stay here till everyone's gone," Steven says. "You getting off, then?"
"Yes. First day of term tomorrow, so we want to get them home and have a nice calm relaxing afternoon."
"And Marmalade will be hungry," says Leah.
Steven does a shocked face. "You left him home alone with nothing to eat?"
"My dad fed him last night, and stayed for a bit to keep him company," says Amy. "I asked him to leave extra food down, but I very much doubt if Marmalade saved any for this morning."
"He's all about instant gratification, our cat," Simon says.
Once they've said another goodbye to the lads, they go and catch the lift.
"We're gonna take the bags out front," Declan tells us.
"They've got people to do that," I say.
"I know, but we can do it, easy."
"Okay. We'll be out in a minute."
Cheryl and Nate emerge from the bar at last.
"Where are the boys?" she asks.
"They're waiting outside. Hugo's here to see you, though."
"Ah, Hugo." She kisses him on both cheeks. "You're a star. Thanks for everything."
"It's been a pleasure working with you," he says to her, then he shakes hands with Nate before he leaves again.
Cheryl turns to me and Steven.
"Right, before I forget, we've got something for you." She pulls out a tablet from her bag. "I know you said no presents, but it's not exactly new, so it doesn't count."
"It's my old one," says Nate. "I'd already scrubbed all my data off it, just in case, as I was leaving it in other people's hands for the party – so all that's on there now is the playlist. We thought you might like it as a souvenir, and to have a listen to the songs you missed after you left last night."
"That's brilliant," says Steven. "Thank you."
"Amazing," I say, and Steven rolls his eyes.
"I've changed the passcode for you," says Nate. "It's tomorrow's date – nine, one, seventeen – because that's your actual anniversary, unless I've been misinformed..."
"No, that's right, it's tomorrow," Steven says. "We love it, thank you."
He hugs them each in turn, then we walk outside. Their car is just pulling up, and the girl from the hotel gets out and hands them the key.
"Thanks for everything, Chez." I hug her tightly.
"We'll ring you when we've dropped the boys off at the airport, okay?"
"Okay."
"And you better text us when you're home, alright?" Steven says to the lads.
"No worries," says Declan, then he turns to me for a hug. "Cheers, Dad. Enjoy the peace and quiet now, yeah?"
"Will do. Good lad. Be good, Padraig, okay?" I hug him.
"Say hello to your Rosie for us, eh?" Steven says, and he hugs them each in turn.
Seth and Declan do one of those handshakes lads do, that look like the start of a bout of arm-wrestling.
"In a while, guys," Seth says.
He stands with me and Steven while we watch them drive away.
:::::::
Back in the foyer, Curtis and Suki are talking with Hugo. There are bags by the reception desk – theirs, presumably – so it looks like they're the next to leave.
Suki comes over to us. "We're going home," she says. "We had a really nice time – thank you."
"Ooh, little kiss there," says Steven.
"Where?" I say.
"Only on the cheek. Oh, you mean where? Over there, when Curtis and Hugo said goodbye." Then as Curtis joins us, he says, "Hiya, Curtis, alright?"
"Very well indeed, thank you for asking," Curtis says.
"Hugo's nice, in't he..."
"I couldn't possibly comment. But he's going to message me next time he's got a day off..."
"I knew it," says Steven. He's grinning from ear to ear.
The porter is taking their bags outside, which means their car must be ready.
"Thanks again for asking us," Curtis says.
"Compared with what you've done for us, it's... Anyways. We're glad you came, so."
"Have you said goodbye to everyone?" Steven asks.
"In the bar, yes," says Suki.
We walk with them, out to her car.
"When's your next appointment, Ste?" asks Curtis.
"We don't know yet, They said they'll post it to us."
"Well, once you've got it, let me know, and hopefully I'll be around for a chat like last time, okay?"
"We've got your number now, so yeah, we will, definitely. Right, say hello to the nurses, yeah, and Mister Raja, if he remembers me, that is. He most likely wouldn't, though, would he, with all the patients he sees."
"He remembers you," Suki says. "I told him we were coming to see you, and he sent his best wishes."
"Doesn't seem the type for smalltalk," I say.
I walk with her, round to the driver's side, while Steven chats with Curtis.
"You'd be surprised what we talk about when we're scrubbing in for theatre. And he does remember you as well, Brendan. He talks to students about you."
"Excuse me?"
She laughs. "Not by name, of course. But if he needs to remind a student about the meaning of what they're doing, he tells them about what you said to him before Ste's surgery."
:::::::
We say goodbye to the kids and Amy and Simon in the foyer. It's too cold for Steven to be outside again without his coat.
"Thanks again for having Leah and Lucas last night," Amy says.
"We always have them Saturday nights anyways," I say.
"I know, but it was..."
"Unexpected," Simon says, "And very nice."
If I'm not mistaken, Amy Barnes blushes.
:::::::
It feels like there's a lot of hanging around, and then there's a burst of activity, the foyer is full of luggage, and everyone else is leaving at once.
Steven is in the thick of it, giving and getting hugs and kisses. I stand back a little.
Hugo comes and says goodbye to Anne, then he goes off to the bar.
She comes and stands next to me.
"You okay, mister?" she says.
"Long as he is."
"Ste? He looks alright?"
"Yep." I look at her. "Can't thank you enough for this, Anne."
"Oh, shush. What are friends for?"
Tegan and Leela have gone outside. Steven is saying goodbye to Tony now, his arms reaching round his neck as Tony holds him in a bearhug.
"Excuse me," I say to Anne, and I leave her and go over to Jacqueline. "Appreciate you coming."
"Appreciate you asking."
I nod. We kiss on the cheek.
Tony and Steven have let go.
"Don't come outside, Ste, alright?" Tony says.
Steven nods. He's upset.
"You flying today?" I ask, to divert attention.
"First thing tomorrow," Tony says. "We'll be at Myra's till then. Thanks, Brendan, it's been really great."
"Thank you, for being his Best Man."
We shake hands.
"Ready, Jac? Bye, then, everyone. Bye, Ste."
"Bye." He gives them a wave.
It's just me, Steven, Anne and Richard now, plus Seth – with Nicky in his arms – chatting with Peri near the door.
"I can take off my Best Woman hat now, then," says Anne.
"You did a good job," I say.
"Why, thank you." Then she drops the archness. "We've had a wonderful time."
"They're taking the bags out – the car must be ready," Richard says.
"Bye for now, then," Anne says to Steven, and they give each other a kiss.
"Thanks for everything that you've done, Mitz."
"You enjoy the rest of your stay. And happy birthday for tomorrow! Twenty-seven, isn't it?"
"That's right, yeah," says Steven.
"It's a good age to be," Anne says. "Unfortunately I've only got ten more days of it..."
"What d'you mean?" Steven says. "Is it your birthday coming up?"
"The eighteenth of Jan. See, you're not the only Capricorn in Brendan's life."
"When will we see you?" I ask. "You coming up again any time soon?"
"Not sure. We will do – course we will – but I'll have to let you know when we know."
Seth calls out, "Rich, your car's here."
"On our way. Good to see you, Ste." He shakes Steven's hand, and then mine. "Brendan. Happy anniversary for tomorrow."
He goes outside. Steven follows as far as Seth and Peri, and gives them a hug each.
"Interesting insight this morning, by the way," Anne says to me.
"'Insight'?"
"Those scratches on your back. Quite the insight..."
"Go home, Anne."
She laughs. I kiss her.
"Love you lots," she says. "Bye bye."
Steven and I stand in the doorway and watch them go. And then it's just us.
He touches my hand.
:::::::
It's silent in our suite.
The extra bed has gone, and the two couches have been moved back into place. Everything is tidy.
"Get you a drink, Steven?"
"Is there a whisky? I'll have a whisky with you if there is."
I open the minibar. "There's whiskies."
He nods. "I'll just go to the..."
"Okay."
I'm glad he's said yes to a drink. I feel like I need one, as some sort of pause after all of that.
I pour the drinks, and add a splash of dry ginger to them both. Weigh up whether to take them through to the bedroom. Decide against.
I sit down and take off my trainers and socks. Stand up when he comes back into the room, and hand him his drink.
"To us," he says, and we clink glasses and drink. "That's lovely. Warming."
"That's what I thought."
He holds onto my shoulder for balance, and takes off his trainers too.
I finish my drink, put down my glass.
He doesn't finish his, but puts it down, and then he's in my arms, and we're kissing. I can feel that he's cold, except for where he's hot, where I'm hot.
We break for breath, stare at each other, then both at once head for the bedroom.
I unzip his top, push it off his shoulders and he fights his way out of its sleeves. He's got a T-shirt on: I pull it off. I go to push his track pants down but he says, "No. You." So I take off my sweater and unbuckle my belt and take off my jeans.
He turns and throws back the covers. Turns back to me, and falls backwards onto the bed. Props himself on his elbows, and lifts a foot to press on my crotch.
I get the ankles of his trackies in my hands, and pull. He lifts his rear off the bed so they'll come off.
"What colour d'you call that?"
"Don't know." He looks down at his underwear. "It's not pink. It's more orangey."
"Pretty."
I get on the bed. Hoist his legs onto my shoulders, and kiss his belly, and pull down the front of his not-pink underwear with my teeth until his dick pops out.
Makes me laugh.
He pulls my hair.
His tip is wet already. I lick it, suck it gently.
"Where's the lube?" he says. "In the drawer?"
"Think so."
While I'm finding it, he takes off his underwear.
I take off mine.
"Come under the covers, yeah?" he says, and he pulls the cover over himself and holds it up for me to get in.
I put down the lube, and we slow down. Lie kissing, touching. Play for a while with each other's hands. Looking.
I lubricate my fingers, and stroke him, my hand slipping everywhere across his skin. I choose a place along his collar bone and suck and bite there. His fingertips follow the grazes on my back.
When I enter him he lets out a sound like a sigh. I look in his eyes, and I'm seen, and we can't look away. Don't need to, when everything is here.
