Chapter 36 : Madness
« Are we crazy?"
Claire couldn't stop repeating this line in her head since she agreed to take a sabbatical and to go in a foreign country she knew nothing about. She had never left the United States, not even for a medical colloquial. This morning, she went to the city hall to make a passport just before going to work. She was both excited to live this great adventure and completely panicked to the idea of living all she had ever known, all she had ever built.
But Neil was right. She was exhausted and she needed to rest. The last years had been really rough. Rougher than what she had lived before. Her life had only been a succession of pain and suffering until she met Neil. He trusted her first as a doctor, then as a friend and finally as her better half. When she arrived at the hospital, it was the same routine: she went to her office. Audrey – once again – was not there for several weeks because she was on a business trip in New York with the board committee. She had to plan all her surgeries before leaving. She also had to find someone to replace her while she was away.
Days like these repeated themselves. Long hours of work. Tons of patients. Neil was very busy too. They talked about their projects to Mrs. Lynch. This woman they had feared so much to begin with was in fact really nice. She helped them to fulfill the files and explained to them how their return in Bonaventure will be like. They could lose their positions if ever the board decided to. Neil and Claire told her they understood the consequences but they just needed to take a break, to breath away from San Jose, away from their bad memories to have a fresh start.
They found a moment to talk with Park and Morgan. They met at the clinic after work. It was the easiest place to see each other as they were all overbooked.
"You sounded so dramatic over the phone. Is everything ok?"
Morgan looked very preoccupied as she let them enter in her office. Neil and Claire smiled at her.
"Alex is not there yet?"
"On his way. He was in the OR till one hour ago because of an emergency. Speaking of the devil. Look who's calling. Ummm Ok. See you. He's just arrived, he'll be there in a few minutes. You want something to drink?"
Both made no with their heads. Alex arrived just a few minutes after. "Sorry I'm late, a bike accident Pretty bad one. The poor guy will make months, even years to recover… But enough talking about this, what about you two? Why did you ask us to come so quickly?"
"Actually… We have an announcement to make… And as you are our closest friends, we wanted to share with you first…"
"OMG you're pregnant… Or you're getting married… Oh yes that's it ! Can I be your bridesmaid?"
Claire laughed. Alex looked at Morgan. She was really unbearable. "Please let them talk first, then you could be excited." Morgan bent her head.
"Morgan, I'm not pregnant. And you're not getting married. In fact, we've decided to take a 6-month sabbatical to enjoy each other. We're leaving in two months. Time to make things clear with Bonaventure."
For once, Morgan remained clueless. Alex looked at her, laughing. "I'm very happy for you guys. You really deserve this break."
"And as we leaving for quite a time, Claire and I have been thinking of you two to handle the clinic. Morgan, I'd like to give you my full power over the clinic while I'm away. Already talked with my lawyer and if you agree, you have just to sign some papers and it'll be effective by the day we'll be on the plane."
Morgan didn't know what to say. Too many emotions in a short while. She was happy for her friends but also sad not to see them for such a long time. In the same time, Neil was letting her lead the clinic on her own. It took her some minutes before she could tell some words. Claire notices Alex's hand on her back and pressed Neil's thigh. They exchanged a conniving look. She was right about them. Something was going on. In a way, they made them think of them.
"I'm very flattered you think of me and I'm happy for you too. But it's gonna be weird not having you around."
They agreed to spend as many evenings they could together before Neil and Claire leaving. But not tonight, they were all exhausted and they needed to sleep.
[…]
Time fled when you're busy. Claire and Neil didn't count their working hours. Sometimes they were sleeping in their office to have more time to take care of their patients. They suffered not to see each other as often as they like but they also knew it was for a good cause: soon, they'll only be the two of them.
On his last day at work, Neil took some time to share his lunch with Marcus. His colleague had always been there for him, especially during the earthquake episode. He saved his life when the others let him down. He came with the device idea. He was the one who included him in the trial. He was the one giving him his normal life back. Diabetes was a small price to pay in the end.
"Hey, ready to have lunch, traveler?"
"Hey Marcus! Yep. Just finish to sign these three files and I'm all yours. And it's…done! Where are we going?"
"Was thinking about the little Italian restaurant on St James… Veronica's ! That's the name!"
"Perfect!"
They left the hospital and went to Veronica's. They both ordered pizza.
"So this is your last day here? I can't imagine you're leaving Bonaventure. You arrived only a few months after me. It's gonna be weird not seeing you around. But I'm glad for you. You had a shitty couple of years and making a break is the best way for you to forget about all of this. I've never told you but I've always rooted for you and Claire… You've always had this special connection you can't explain even how hard you try."
Neil smiled to his friend. "You're not the first to tell me this, Marcus… Deep down, I think I was rooting for us too from the start… I just didn't know what it was. She had always been the resident who I was more conniving with. But you know, me and my moral… I convinced myself, she was too young when she was able to do her own choices, she was my employee when in fact she was my equal… And this big incident happened and I totally changed my way of seeing life."
He remained silent for a moment. An idiotic smile on his face. "Enough talking about me. How are things between you and Isabelle?"
"Arg, I don't want to break the mood but Isabelle and I are divorced… My fertility problems condemned our marriage… But it's better this way. She's happy, she has found someone and they're about to have a baby. It's better for the two of us… We were even bitter at the end of our relationship. And who knows what the future is planning for me?"
The two men kept talking for another hour and then finally made their way back to Bonaventure.
"It was good to have lunch with you, Marcus."
"Don't forget me while you'll be on the adventure of a lifetime with your better half."
The two men separated in the elevator, each other returning to his office. Files were still waiting on Neil's office. He wanted to make everything clear before leaving Bonaventure for the 6 next months. His patients will be taken in charge by Marcus and Alex while he will be away. And he wanted to be sure they will have all the information they will need. He wrote a lot of annotations on post its and stuck them in the patients files. He recorded some audio when the cases were too complex. His patients deserved the best, especially when he let them alone for quite a while.
This night, he came home late. A lot of work to finish before enjoying some time off. He was exhausted but before leaving Bonaventure for 6 months, he needed to have a clear out and close all the ongoing files. Or at least, to pass them to his colleagues with all the explanations they needed. It was a mark of respect for his patients but also for Marcus and Alex who were kind enough to take them in charge.
He was just sad not to continue to take care of Mrs. Weeks. This nice woman was getting so much better since they replaced the defective valve. He entrusted her into the hands of Alex and Marcus. Of course, it was not their specialties but he needed to know Mrs. Weeks will be taken care of very well. Claire and he really loved this woman. She brought them more than they could have even thought of. She was a real member of their family (because it was what they were, weren't they?). She was so kind and good-hearted. And she was there for them all the time. It's gonna be weird not to see her for such a long time.
Claire often went to her home to bring her some groceries and spent the rest of the day with her talking and cooking (she learnt her to make delicious cakes and pies!), he went to her home to help her do some gardening or move things she couldn't shift by her own. She was like their granny and they both liked this.
When they told her, they were taking some months off to travel away from San José, she was even happier for them than they had been when they decided to do so a few weeks ago. They explained to her they wanted to take some times for them, away from the hospital when people were still gossiping about them. Even if they didn't care, they were tired of this and they needed a break from all of this. Far away from rumors, far away from San José, far away from any traumatic memories linked to the earthquake.
He took off his clothes and took a long shower to make all the stress of the day fade away. In the blink of an eye, he realized it was the first time since almost 15 years he left San Jose and Bonaventure for a long while. He was feeling weird and in the same time, he knew it was the right decision to make. He managed to convince Claire it was too. At first, she believed he was joking. She never thought about leaving everything she had known to go on an adventure with him. And as he explained to her, she understood she needed to get away… At least for a moment because whatever she thought, she was still traumatized by what happened during the earthquake.
She told about this crazy idea to her therapist and she was very enthusiastic about it. Like she had been when Claire told her about the clinic project and her relationship with Neil which was "inevitable" to use her own words. Claire had always been honest with her, what did she have to lose? She saw her in her best and worst days. At first, she was miserable. She had just lost her mother, she was alone, frightened, shaken.
Dr. Malkin had been more than a blessing. She helped her get through her PTSD. She was with her at every step of her relationship with Neil. From the boss to the boyfriend and all the steps between… And there had been many of them: friend, best friend, secret crush you don't talk about, secret lover you're so proud of but you can't tell anyone, the man you plan to remain with for the rest of your life and maybe having kids with…
When Neil went in the bedroom, Claire was deeply asleep. She must have been waiting for him because her head was literally inside the book she was reading. Her nose was crushed again the pages and her hands were not holding the book anymore. Neil laughed. He liked to see her this way. He liked to be with her, to spend his free time next to her, not necessarily doing something, just be there and chilling. He loved his life as it was. It was the life he always had dreamt about and thought he never reached.
He removed the book from Claire's face and put it on the night table. She moaned for a moment. She always did this when he bothered her while sleeping. It was kind of cute. At least for him, it was. She finally chose to turn over to join the part of the bed she preferred. Neil burst into laughing. She slept so deeply on her novel that the ink of the page was printed on her cheek.
At this precise moment, he realized this little tiny sleepy person, who had just fallen in a book and whose cheek was printed with ink was THE one. The person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, no matter what. She was his person and he hoped he was hers. He lay just next to her, kissed her head and put his arms around her. He held her tighter just to feel her, to know she was here, that she was not a dream. And he fell deeply asleep too to the rhythm of her peaceful breath.
