Illusion is Reality
Chapter 100
-To test your faith-
Headbanding myself didn't really work in the Mindscape (though the security settings I added to my personal Mindscape certainly made things better) so I created a vessel the instant I re-entered my own dimension. And that was that, for now at least. I didn't want to face Ax right now to see about Headbanding him too. Or even know how to do so. He didn't work the same way I did after all. He didn't work like Blue's AXOLOTL either.
But more importantly-!
There was something I simply had to do. Something I didn't even know I needed to do until this unrest began to build inside me. I headed for home.
The first thing I did when I returned home was find Xanthar (who I had to go to Iznang to track down) for a hug. He happily snuggled back, radiating content and dear lord I've missed this. Missed his wonderful flavors. The world was so much more… vibrant and savory with my emotion sense back on! After all, I've modified the headband so many times to make it so I could still taste and feel stuff without them affecting me! (And it was fine! They weren't human so the emotions I absorbed from them didn't make me all weird, not unless I got too much for the headband to filter out, and I could tell now what was too much! I did! Really!) I spent a few hours telling him (and Queen, who was thrilled to see me again too) about my adventures, finding a big brother, learning stuff, altering futures, reorganizing dimensions… the whole nine yards. And then I was distracted contemplating where the phrase 'whole nine yards' came from and just stared off into space for a few hours. Xanthar didn't mind, holding me close as he took a nap, basking in my warmth. Queen left us to it, telling me only that there was something she wanted me to check on later. I got the feeling I was forgetting something. Oh right, putting a headband on Ax. Eh… I had my own on to protect me. I could deal with Ax later. Right now, I needed my snuggles.
It wasn't like I was afraid to confront Ax or anything.
It wasn't like I wanted confirmation that Ax didn't actually want me… that… couldn't be true. It...
When I finally snapped out of my musing, Queen told me of the underground area she found. I understood her hesitation to check it out and slipped out of my vessel to check it out for her. "Be back soon." I told her simply before leaving my body behind.
It was incredibly dark, which made sense considering it was sealed underground. The tunnels went on and on and on. I found nothing here. No plants, not even fungus. How very odd. Who built this place? I flew about, mapping the tunnels out as I went. Oh. They… they formed an image? I continued to map it out in my head, drawing the image in my mind to find...
...an incomplete image of me?!
"The actual fuck?" Had the Silverfish been trying to summon me or something? But why use such a roundabout and time consuming way to do so? It… it wasn't a binding circle. It looked like a summoning. Had they thought having a huge summoning circle would catch my attention more? Keep me summoned long term? Who knew. Anyone who would have known wouldn't know anymore, not after their minds were destroyed by the infection. Well, it was pretty useless now. I suppose I could finish the tunnel, just so there was a place I could easily teleport to whenever I wanted to get to this dimension quickly? Eh… whatever.
I did a double check to make sure there wasn't anything dangerous in here before heading back out. Queen was surprised to hear about the summoning circle, incomplete though it was. "Is it safe?" She asked. I shrugged. "It's safe enough, I made sure the tunnels were clear. But… maybe leave it alone just in case."
She seemed relieved to hear that and we all worked together to fix up the buildings a little more before Xanthar and I headed home. I missed everyone else, they all needed a hug too!
Pyronica was happy to return my hug, she asked how long I had been gone this time, from my point of view. It hadn't been long, strictly speaking, but living with my brother in the day to day had FELT like a long while (like I had spent nearly a year there, like over thirty chapters worth). My Cyclopian friend held me close, her flames against my bricks were a comfortable feeling. She also teasingly asked about souvenirs and I laughed before going to the kitchen to whip up some food using the cool new spices I scanned from Earth. Of course, I had to make sure they wouldn't cause any health problems or allergic reactions first via the creation of an empty construct based off Pyronica (a copy paste of her genetic build up) and testing the various Earth food I had on it, noting down the reactions both short term and long term as I went.
...good thing I did. Turns out Cyclopians were deathly allergic to Earth-Rosemary. I spent several years in my own little subspace kitchen testing all the new food I got on genetic copies of my friends until I had a good idea of what they could and couldn't eat. Good thing time didn't exist in here (which, of course it didn't, Time Baby had no dominion over my own subspaces, therefore, no time passes. And yes, I had considered sticking my friends in one of these places, but it was too dangerous for the long term, day to day living.) Pyronica LOVED pepper when I popped back out to hand her one as a souvenir. Which… I kinda should have expected. Still, guess Stan had the right idea of me getting food that I didn't like because other people might like them. And, well, fair. After all, Zyun-Kei liked peppers too. I used to pick out the peppers in my food to give to them, while Kei gave me the onions that they didn't want.
Next I went to find my son. Ammy hugged me back and simply told me that he had been on good behavior and hadn't shoplifted anything since the last time I saw him. Of course, I responded with, "From your point of view, I've only been gone for a couple weeks." to which my son responded, "And in that time I have not shoplifted anything. I handed them the Credit chip, just like you asked. Therefore, I have been good while you were away."
I was both amused and exasperated. Which was about the usual for any interaction with Ammy. Also he handed me a bunch of flannel clothing. "For when you want to be William." He said simply. It was very thoughtful of him.
Teeth roped me into a few rounds of Fight Streeters with him. He kicked my ass, as per usual. For a sight-blind dude, he had really good reflexes for moving images on a screen. Of course, the fact that he memorized all the attacks and combos certainly helped. I just button mashed, which frustrated Teeth a lot, ("Dammit Bill! There's a thing called strategy!"). Teeth threw his hands up in victory after tossing my character over the side of the stage again. "Hah! You've gotten even worse!" He teased. I scoffed. "You know that I would win if I used my Knowledge." He patted my side while snickering. "That'd be cheating dude!" Which wasn't really true. He had his knowledge of the game, I could have mine. Same info, different method of gaining it.
Or maybe I was just sick of losing to him all the time?
...also apparently Teeth had a boyfriend now? I was so happy for him. (And I miiiiight have done a quick check to see if this Lilie boy was good enough for Teeth, which, he was a really sweet dude, so… I guess I didn't have to worry. Ahahaha, looks like even after having gone through it somewhat myself, I still couldn't help but poke my angles into other people's romantic lives.)
Also, I didn't ask… but… why was everyone dressed in flannel?
Kryptos seemed happy to get a hug. He also invited me out to a restaurant with him. For some reason he seemed equal parts happy AND exasperated when I agreed to the playdate. I was on my best behavior and didn't even snap at the angry Minescuran who tossed a drink in my face while we were at the restaurant. They just stormed up to our table, called me and Kryptos "Disgusting!" for reasons I didn't quite understand at first and asked us to leave so they wouldn't have to watch us dining in the same room as 'proper' couples. They were from a species in which they found their mates by finding someone with the same shape and color as them, so I supposed they must have mistook me and Kryptos for a mating pair who were mismatched or something and it offended them? I, of course, refused. We just sat down and I wanted the food. That's when they picked up the glass of fruit juice I just ordered and threw it at me. Everyone in the establishment froze when I turned red but I hissed and held myself back until I was able to calm down. I did good! Really!
...Ok, my chair was on fire. (...and the ground around me ...and the Minescuran… though I quickly put them out!) I hadn't killed the incredibly rude asshole. I stared them down as they wheezed in pain, trembling with the effort to stay calm. That was my cup! I was gonna drink that! "I suggest you get out of my sight before I do something we'll both regret." I hissed at them, both as a threat and a plea for them to leave so I wouldn't be tempted to finish what I started. They ran and that was that. I was proud of myself for keeping my temper. I patted out the flames around my chair and huffed, pushing this churning rage inside me down until it snuffed out.
I only realized after Kryptos and I got home that I'd forgotten to ask the others to keep an eye on him, in case he was trying to kill me. It was just such a ridiculous idea that I couldn't even wrap my head around it. Heck, Pyronica had stared at me incredulously when I finally asked her to warn me if it looked like Kryptos might be secretly planning to murder me and take over as the leader of the household.
"The heck Bill? Even if he DID kill you, that wouldn't make him the boss." Pyronica rolled her eye. "Me and Hec are in charge whenever you're not here anyway."
"I know, but my brother seems to think that Kryptos wanting to get me alone with him all the time is because he's trying to murder me. I don't really believe it but I guess it's better to be safe than sorry." I shrugged. Pyronica buried her face in her hands and groaned. "Are all triangles this oblivious?" She muttered. I didn't really get what she was talking about.
I gave PaciFire the cookbooks about Earth pastries. I also got other cookbooks from various places around the multiverse. He enjoyed looking at the pictures of cute pastries more than actually making them. I told him I could Perception Filter the kitchen so he could cook without anyone knowing, but he said that he wasn't emotionally ready for that yet. Which was fine. I wasn't in any rush. He did thank me for the books though.
Keyhole proudly informed me that he'd gotten a job. I was thrilled, picking him up and spinning around as I laughed with joy. "THAT'S AMAZING! CONGRATS!" I squealed. He giggled, hugging me back when I put him back down.
Keyhole would be a quality inspector. Checking over shipments of materials for their content and ratios of elements, checking machines to make sure there weren't any damaged parts, generally he's going to be in charge of alerting people if he finds any problems. It was a very important job, if say, a power generator was built with a titanium alloy that had some weaker metals mixed in that could compromise it's structural integrity? Yeah. That's dangerous and would NEED to be found and reported.
Hectorgon simply patted my top angle and told me "Welcome back." He asked about where my brother was. "Well, he has his own place. So I would only be able to visit him sometimes. But I can text him, or the guy who's taking care of him." Hectorgon chuckled. "Well, as long as you're doing well."
I went to check on 8-Ball and...
"...8-Ball… what is that?" I pointed at the large lump at his side under the blankets he wrapped around himself. "No-nothing…" 8-Ball winced. The lump wiggled and made a squeaking sound. I wasn't impressed. "8-Ball, what are you hiding?"
He whined but under my stare, he finally revealed himself and I blinked at the gelatinous creature. A quick scan later and...
"Oh. They… liked you enough to leave a piece of themselves with you?" I blinked. That was… nice of them?
8-Ball stared back. "Piece of themselves?"
"Yeah, that's a split part of their gel. It'll grow up after a few years. And… that species tend to give a part of themselves to people they really like, sort of like a gift?" It was a very strange practice. I leaned closer. "I heard the pieces are rather delicious…"
8-Ball covered the little gelatin creature. "Yo-you can't eat Toobie! He's my baby!" Wow. He was almost glaring at me. This protectiveness was incredibly cute. "Don't worry. He's yours. I won't do anything to him." I assured my ogre friend.
8-Ball squinted at me before finally relaxing. "So… Toobie is mine? I don't have to give him back?" He was snuggling the little thing in his arms, it seemed quite happy to snuggle back. "Yup. They gave him to you. So he's yours now." I patted 8-Ball's shoulder. "Take care of him, alright? He's your responsibility now."
8-Ball nodded, his eyes rolling around in their sockets. "I will! I will be the bestest caretaker! I can feed him and- and teach him to read like you taught me and- show him Demon Baby Fights!"
I wasn't sure if Demon Baby Fights was something a growing LavaGelatin should be watching but I also didn't know if I should be correcting him on that. Not when he seemed so happy. Instead, I grinned at him, "Well if you ever need help with raising the little guy, you can always ask the rest of us." Huh, 8-Ball the parent? 8-Ball the caretaker?
Eh… this should be fine. Speaking of caretaking, I haven't checked on my Earth yet!
Civilizations on Earth were doing well! I was being worshipped under multiple pretenses. Currency was invented, printed with warped images of me since I was careful to not let them see my true form. Well, no one but a few select individuals. The people I worked with personally to teach them what they wanted to learn and were willing to give me their regards to do so.
I worried over the whole 'inspiring them to the point of unhealthy obsession' thing, but so far they seemed okay. Even if some of them did recoil back from my triangle form when I finally revealed myself to them.
I shook myself out of those thoughts.
I wished more people were like that kid I met all those years ago…the one who'd thought I was pretty.
Egyptian civilization was thriving, they drew my eye everywhere, the only part of me they could truly remember from dreams full of confusing cosmic knowledge. The line of Pharaohs, descended from the people I possessed, could remember more. My shape, my bricks… but not my colors. They thought the golden glow was simply the sun itself. Still, I persisted in my lessons and mentorship of mankind.
I taught people how to read the stars and set up the foundations of mathematics. I watched as new cultures formed and grew. It was wonderful to watch humanity flourish under my care. China, with its many mountains and valleys, had so many different tribes. But I knew they would all be united at some point. What was it? The Qing dynasty? I couldn't remember my history lessons, but I suppose I would be seeing this in real time this time around. Humans had come so far.
It's a great deal of improvement from back when I first started out watching them make stone tools and discovering fire. Communication with them was a test of my patience. I'm happy with how humanity is shaping out to be. Like my own children, I watched them thrive and learn and it filled my non-existent heart with glee…
There was just one problem.
...the Egyptians had some really intense libidos, like hell, there was so much fucking happening here. Dear lord.
And WHY the incest?! I literally have no idea where the fuck they got the idea that such a thing was a good idea. What with their gods being siblings with each other and… I swear I didn't teach them this. I have no idea where they'd gotten it into their heads that this was a good idea- wait. WAIT ONE GODDAMN SECOND!
The actual fuck?! There were Egyptian gods, like, actual Egyptian gods. They were Tulpas, brought into existence via people's belief in them. And, like, yeah? That's how Tulpas worked but I didn't think it could create GODS. Most Tulpa I've seen were monsters or minor spirits, but… geez. I had to do some investigation...
Long story short, some of the Weirdness leaking out from the Nightmare Realm mixed in with the human's belief and now there were actual Egyptian gods running around.
...and yes, they were incestually fucking each other. Goddamn. What the hell? No. No, no, no. I brought down the nightmares HARD. No incest! Incest is BAD! And if I had to flood their dreams with horrifying images to get my point across, I WOULD.
...
Update on the situation, it backfired.
Now the Egyptians were just into super kinky sex instead.
What the hell was wrong with humanity?
You know what? Fuck Egypt! I'm gonna go hang out at Atlantis instead. At least they didn't marry their own siblings!
Atlantis was great, if only the people weren't so smug and snobbish. Well, they had the most advanced technology of their era. And even of future eras. Partially because of a Deal one of their kings made with me generations ago for an unending source of energy to help them power their city and all within it. It wasn't hard. I went back in time a bit, set some things in motion to portion off a part of my power in a physical form, sent it rocketing down to the Earth in the form of a comet… and then taught the Atlanteans how to harness that comet shard…
You know, easy.
The payment for the Deal was simple. If the royal family wanted power, they would have to give back in return. The shard would seek out the royal family to collect on this payment, it was that simple. I mean, the crystals they made from the shard's power granted them longevity and a fragment of my knowledge. It was only fair they had to pay such a steep toll.
Was I giving them too much? I couldn't help but want to dote on humanity. I couldn't help it. Maybe granting them so much of my help and knowledge was a bad idea, but I wanted to do it anyway. I couldn't help myself.
Finally, I couldn't put it off anymore. Couldn't distract myself with other things anymore. I went to see dad. Somewhat cautiously. Brother's warning made me uneasy, but… Dad was dad. I couldn't just… not see him.
I refused to believe he was only just using me all this time, that he could have purposely left me to suffer for his own gain. Well my bond with him was technically broken now, sort of. Brother walked me through it. I hadn't heard Dad complain so….
"Hiiii Axxxxxx~" I floated in, cheerful as ever. He rumbled, glancing up at me. -You're back- he almost sounded surprised. I shrugged. "Eh, of course I'm back. What? Did you miss me or anything?" I giggled. "Admit it~ you missed me~"
-I had thought you didn't want to be around me…-
"Whaaaa? Where'd you get that ridiculous idea?" I scoffed. Ax didn't look to be in a joking mood. Not that he ever was. -You're upset with me- he pointed out. I winced. Yeah. I was. A little. But any unhappiness I had dispersed when I noticed how… defeated Ax sounded. He was curled up, frills drooping down. "...are you okay?"
He just curled in on himself more, looking absolutely miserable. I sighed. "Look, I…" I scratched at my side. "...do you wanna… talk?" Because I wasn't going to distrust or write Ax off without hearing his side of the story first. Just like with brother. Heck, I was still mad at brother but he was trying to fix what he broke. And I wasn't going to hold that against him forever. Not when he was trying so hard. So I wasn't going to do that with Ax either. And… if brother's paranoia was true, and Ax did try to manipulate my Soul or something, well, I had my headband and defenses up. But I was going to talk to Ax, let him try to explain himself.
-I… don't want to lose you- he said finally. I had to pause at that. -I missed you-
Well there I was getting increasing flustered. "E-even if I'm not the Bill you wanted?" I couldn't help blurting out.
-...I never would have even dreamed to get one such as you- Ax finally glanced up at me, almost shy(?!). -You're the best thing that has ever happened to me-
Oh, I felt warm all over. Just overwhelmed. I shook and flapped my hands around, turning such a deep shade of orange I think I might have been bordering on pink! I couldn't say anything, not with words. I just made weird squealing sounds and flailed my limbs around. "UwwwuuuuUuuWUuu!" I finally managed.
-Are you alright?- Ax twitched and backed up a little. I waved my hand at him. "EeeewwwuuuuuOoouuu!" Ax looked almost worried now. -I...will give you some time to process- to which I responded with an, "UwuuEeeeeAaaauuuu!" Before darting forward to latch onto his face in a hug. "Ooouuureallymeanthat?!" I gasped, shaking as I held onto him.
-...despite my better judgement, yes- Ax seemed like it was taking all he had to keep from rolling his eyes. I continued vocalizing spastic sounds and rumbling squeals. I literally couldn't handle it. I was so happy.
Ax cared about me! He did! He did!
A-and he liked me! Even thought I was wrong not what he was expecting! He- he liked me BETTER!
I was so frazzled and blown away by this news I passed out.
Huh. Didn't think being happy would be something capable of making me faint, but here we go.
I woke up to Ax nudging me, was he worried? I shook myself off. "I'm fine. I am. Don't worry!"
Having dad admit he liked me only reminded me that I hadn't seen my kids in a while. So after I recovered myself from my joy-overload, I gave Ax one last hug before telling him, "I love you daddy~" before leaving when Ax straight up glowed with how relieved and happy he looked.
Much later I realized I had completely forgotten about the thing I was supposed to talk to him about. It simply slipped my mind.
I went to visit my kids. Pyrone invited me to dinner with the family. Rince was glowering at me all through the night, but the other kids, while not quite friendly, were more polite. After that incredibly uncomfortable dinner, I went to see Quackers instead. Quackers invited me out to get supplies with her. That involved going to the planet of Engerus and fighting off the local ore-life to get the materials she needed for some magical trinkets she wanted to make. It was a nice workout. Been too long since I've actually fought something. I took this time to play around with 'magic'. Rather, I played around with invoking a god's power to use as a powersource for spells.
And by that I meant invoking MYSELF to power spells.
Hey, I was still a god. I could do that! Right?
Twas an interesting experience. I wondered if I could get around Weirdness barriers by using magic that drew on my own powers without me directly drawing on them? This will require more research.
Then I went to see Pynelope and...
She told me to prepare myself emotionally for the next article she was going to publish. I'm a little worried but okay, it couldn't possibly be that bad or I would have known about it before right-
...what?!
The newspaper under my hands ignited and turned to ash. Hectorgon, reading his own copy, winced. "Well shit. I'd almost say I feel sorry for them, but I don't and they brought this on themselves."
I stormed away from the breakfast table even as Teeth asked, "Wait, what? What's happening?"
So they were withholding food from people? They were withholding MY food from people?! Even after I trusted them to at LEAST do this ONE thing for me?! I Blinked off to directly check this for myself. What reason they might possibly have for allowing entire sectors to go hungry when they DID have enough food to send them-
So it was done as a way to have 'back-up' food. Which was fair, but back up storage was meant for excess and extra. Not when there were billions of people struggling to- oh. They were PURPOSELY withholding from certain Dimensions for the sole purpose of driving up the prices at the marketplace. Uuugh. I know they were trying to make money but not when it negatively impacts the people who couldn't afford to eat! And I know having too much food would lower the price and therefore they don't make profit- but none of the farmers who worshipped me did it for money. I was quite careful with grooming them and their descendants on this point. I, their god, took care of their every physical need. If they get sick, I healed them, they didn't need to go to a doctor- they had plenty of food to feed themselves and their families- I made the weather perfectly pleasant for them so they didn't need to worry about repairs as often- hell I even powered their electricity for them! (Via a piece of my golden scales, something which the Federation has tried time and again to convince my worshippers to give them!) I worked hard to make it so they didn't need Credits to survive! I didn't want them to have to rely on the Federation's money and resources!
As angry as I was though, my worshippers on my farming planets were even more so. After all, the Federation impeding the transfer of their crops throughout the multiverse was LITERALLY a spit in the face to their religion. And with that in mind, I shifted into Xin's form, summoned by my worshipper's ire to rain down my divine fury just as both they and I wanted.
It was the first time Xin had appeared on the news, on camera. There were people filming my rampage through the multiverse, tearing into the Federation's storage vessels and taking back my crops to distribute to the planets that needed them. Really, this is why I would prefer if they could be self sufficient again. But for many places, their technological development ended up destroying their planet's ecosystems or they became so reliant on government given supplies they could no longer sustain themselves and their skyrocketing populations and-
It was a mess all around. But that didn't stop me from making sure all the planets that needed food to live, received their supplies.
Once I calmed down from my rampage, I shrank myself back down to Xin's default dragon size (which was pretty much the size of a large passenger plane) and laid down to rest around one of my farmlands with my eyes closed to watch the news surrounding it. I was worried and curious how the multiverse handled it. I had to admit, seeing the videos of myself flying through space as a giant cosmic space dragon was pretty cool. The headlines were something along the lines of [Dragon God outraged at food shortage] or [What could this mean for future trade with the Farmlands?] and even a few articles reaching out to Xin's worshippers asking for forgiveness and for them to please calm their god down.
...well, that would depend on my worshippers now wouldn't it?
To the Federation's disbelief, and my smug satisfaction, my worshippers really had learned how to negotiate over the generations, and managed to wrangle a deal with the government. They'd politely ask their god to stop destroying Federation storage facilities, so long as they got control over the trade routes for any supply ship that contained any of their wares. The government official who was tasked with the negotiations wasn't too happy about that.
But when I lifted my large head and growled at them, the insectoid quickly changed their tune. It was so nice to be Xin sometimes, I got respect, I got care, I got worship...
In fact my worshippers were gathering around me in awe of my beautiful majestic form. Yes! Gaze upon me and be amazed! Wow. At this size, I could just gobble them up so easily. I could probably fit like twenty of them in my mouth at once.
...I did not act upon any of these thoughts. I had more self control than that. I quietly watched them set up more negotiations and get a working deal in play for the moment. The Federation negotiator wasn't thrilled at their position in this deal, but didn't have much of a choice while I was staring down at them. While I wouldn't eat any of my worshippers, this little bug had no such protection. It was… nice, to feel superior like this. It wasn't the terrified disgust I got as a triangle. Frankly, it just made a guy feel really nice. I swished my tail lazily as I stared down at the mortals. Ah… it was weird… I didn't normally feel like this. I suppose the worship was getting to me. I wasn't sure if it was a bad thing or not. I felt… great.
I felt nice. Like I was all warm on the inside. Well, all worship made me feel nice, but I never interacted with Xin's worshippers much, seeing as I only showed up at their summonings or whenever they needed me for something. In and out, a quick Blessing here and there, an elegant dance to make the rain fall just so, make the leaves gleam and the roots take hold...
I never really just… hung out around them before. I peered down at them, the furry species on this particular one of my planets, the Krolic, were so thrilled to have me here. It was here that I realized what the difference was. I had always felt Worship before. But I had my newer vessels now, with the built in filters to get the emotional resonance of the people around me drained out before I absorbed the pure emotional energy without having them affect me mentally. So I was alone in my head now. And because of that, I could feel my own sensations without the resonance from everyone around me altering my perception of it.
And that meant I was able to fully feel the sensation of worship without any interference.
...and it felt nice.
It didn't make me feel full and jittery now. Instead, I was… calm. Content. Even as I felt the energy thrumming inside me. I didn't feel itchy. I felt… nice.
I didn't know how to feel about this, only that I liked it.
As angry as I had been, I found myself calmed simply from being around the Krolic. It was… nice.
I finally left once my worshippers settled everything, giving themselves full control over the transport of their goods, on threat of sic-ing a giant space dragon on the Federation if this agreement was ever broken.
I teleported home and just wondered what to do about this new knowledge about being able to feel things without feeling things.
Well, there was only one thing to do now. Indulge myself.
Basically, I spent my time hanging out with the people who loved me. So that I could submerge myself into the wonderful feeling of being loved, without any conflicting or foreign emotions from anyone else affecting my ability to feel things on my own.
One the one hand, I got to spend time with the people I loved.
On the other hand, I spent Time on the people I loved.
Every moment I spent with them, I would have to experience them growing older. I could see the faint wrinkles around Pynelope's face now. But she was as energetic and cheerful as usual. Pyrone was having a harder time tossing the bus sized animals out of the farm. And Quackers...
I stayed by her side in her last years when she was too old to move around easily. Her children were grown and moved out, her mate had passed the year before. I tended to her needs and stayed with her. Despite her age, her mind hadn't deteriorated at all.
I guess there WAS an upside to my tinkering.
(Even if it didn't change anything, Quackers was dead and Quacker 2.0 just happened to be using her body…I loved her just the same but still...)
She noticed my strained expression during her final days. I knew it was coming. Could feel it as her Soul loosened its hold on her body. "It'll be ok mom." She assured me even though nothing was ok and nothing would ever be ok.
"Why won't you just stay with me?" I pleaded. She curled a flipper around my hand. "Because I'm afraid." She admitted at last. "The idea of living and living and living...seems scary."
"But you won't be alone. We'll all be here!" I held on tightly, trying and failing to hide the way my hands trembled.
"I know. And I'm relieved you have aunty and uncles to keep you company." Quackers pulled me in for a weak hug. "I'd be too worried to pass on peacefully otherwise." She slumped in her bed. "I'm tired mom." She said softly. Her breathing was steady, but heavy. I could feel her slipping away. "Please...just…" I held up my hand, blue fire flickering upon it. She slowly closed her eyes. "I'm sorry. I just...want to sleep…love you ...mom..."
"I love you too." I held her flipper, my fire fading as I stayed with her until she stopped breathing.
I felt her soul slip away and shuddered as I tried very hard not to cry. Didn't succeed.
I could have grabbed her Soul, shoved it back in, fixed her body, deaged her body...but I didn't. Because she didn't want that. And I wouldn't...force her to stay if she really wanted to leave.
No matter how much it hurt.
If felt like all my friends were dying. Hutie passed away. Quillia passed away. Heck, the Literatura family was multiple generations past Jorgio. Hell, I'm surprised my goddamn manager was still alive. He had apparently been taking a lot of life prolonging drugs, surgery, implants and other treatments. Amazing what one can do with money and a will to keep going.
I dreaded every day that passed. The twins were getting older. Pynelope had multiple mates but never found 'the one' which worried me until she said it was fine. She still enjoyed her time together with each of her partners and it was still worth it. She was getting into her older years now and still managed to find and date for a couple years before moving on. I have no idea how she managed to keep putting herself through that.
Pyrone and Flora finally found a birth control that worked. They still had 5 kids in total. None of them liked me much, even if they weren't as...vocal about it as Rince was. I tried really hard. I watched her grow up. She grew from an angry teenager to an angry young adult. Pyrone told me she was always picking fights at school and was generally a very disagreeable child. I tried to talk to her but she hissed at me and slammed her door in my face. When I attempted again she screamed at me, "Everything wrong with us is your fault!" which… hurt.
I wondered what she meant by it and did a little digging around. Apparently the boy that she liked called her a hideous mutant. I twitched. Ah… was it because she was a hybrid? Well… I knew that the mixing of Cyclopian and Jo-Adian DNA made for some weird genetic quirks. A larger appetite, higher strength… In Rince's case, I suppose it all manifested as a blistering rage toward the world… and me by proxy, for having allowed her conception. But… I didn't mean to do it. And… it… it wasn't wrong for her and my other grandchildren to exist… was it? Sure, they weren't something that could have been born naturally but… it wasn't wrong, was it?
I didn't know the answer to that. All I knew was that Rince blamed me for her existence as a hybrid. And I felt pretty bad for her hardships caused by her bi-racial existence. She didn't fit in with the other Jo-Adian, she was larger, on fire, intimidating… her siblings weren't quite as angry as her, but I have heard Pyrone talk about how Hilbert broke things, deliberately at times, as if he wanted to destroy things around him. It was a little worrying, but Flora (in her infinite kindness and patience) worked hard to teach them how to work out their energy in less destructive ways. The younger kids were fine with tilling the farm or crushing the rocks, but Rince hated everything about it. It only served to make her angrier. I tried to stay and help Pyrone and Flora for several years, but I feel like I did more harm than good. My babysitting was fine, but none of the kids liked me. Also, spending all these years with Pyrone only allowed me to see how he aged.
I didn't like watching the people I knew growing older. Everyone had different lifespans so they didn't all age the same but I could still see it happening.
Despite my worry over this, with the ever onward march of time came things both bad and good.
Tina's mom was finally in a seat of power that allowed more active change. She was a no nonsense type of woman who hated incompetence, busting a lot of the corrupted members off their seats after compiling evidence against them, firing a whole lot of lazy people who weren't necessarily bad, just complacent to the corruption around them. I secretly cheered her on. Observing the shifting political climate was good for taking my mind off the worry of time progression. Weeding out corruption in the Federation was a slow going process. A couple other aliens of good moral character were trying to get into the council as well and I maaaaay have pulled a few strings behind the scenes. Just a little. (The only real issue is that with how large and far reaching the Federation was, no matter how good the people at the top were, like a game of telephone, orders and instructions got twisted as they went along. Tina's mother couldn't be everywhere all the time. She couldn't make sure everyone was doing their job correctly. There would always be someone who ignored instructions, someone who was too lazy to do their job, someone who simply wasn't good at their job…)
I know Stan probably thought it wasn't possible, but I wanted to believe that I could change things for the better. Even if it took years. The alternative was running and running for the rest of my life, taking my friends with me as I fled. I suppose I could have simply taken my friends through a Door with me. But that would require me finding a new dimension for them to live in. I couldn't impose on anyone else like that. Not even brother. Especially with how much that Stanford hated me. And they probably wouldn't be happy to host all my 'demon' friends too, even if they weren't Demons by that Stanford's definition.
Meanwhile, Earth had the spread of humanity across all the continents. I'm amazed how far they could get. Many places weren't called the same as I had learned back when I was human, not that I remembered all that much of it. Language was weird. Words and terms were different from the ones I learned in English a lifetime ago. I had to learn whole new languages to communicate with people. God this place was starting to get big. I still remember when I first went down among the humans for the sole purpose of petting kitties. And being a kitty.
I admit I was very focused on Egyptian society. Mainly in how...they could both be full of such wonderfully brilliant scientists and architects (who's dreams I both inspired and was inspired by) and a royal family full of incompetence. Hell, they were pretty damn lucky a lot of their workers knew how to take care of stuff. These guys were… just the worse.
To be fair, a lot of them STILL married their own siblings and cousins no matter how much I tried to tell them not to.
The squick was strong but there was some weird misconception of blood purity and how the Pharaoh was a living god and they had to keep god's blood alive or some shit…
Look, I possessed a guy ONCE and suddenly the people start thinking he and his descendants were better than anyone else?! All I did was puppet his body around to cast some magic, pet cats, smite some bad guys and before I knew it, a whole nation had been created and his descendants were now in the governmental seat of power.
Another misunderstanding led them to believe there was an afterlife where they lived on in another plane of existence. I tried to explain that it was merely reincarnation because an actual afterlife for their souls only existed if there was a nearby god taking their souls and placing them inside a pocket reality for storage.
That's what most of the Hell and Heaven dimensions were, a pocket reality with 'settings' to pull in the souls of worshippers or anyone unlucky enough to be within the area of effect for that god's sphere of influence and pulled in. If there was no god stealing their souls, they go to Ax and he would reincarnated them.
I COULD pull souls into the Nightmare Realm, but...why would I? Wasn't quite the nicest place for an afterlife. Maybe if I spruced it up a bit? Or created a new pocket dimension for people? I have been watching a lot of those home decoration/improvement shows recently. But what's the point? Who would even want to go with me?
Not even my daughter wanted to be with me…
I growled and shook my head. No. Not gonna think about that. It was...fine. I'm...fine. She's...with Ax now. Ax would make sure she reincarnated properly…
What I should focus on was...making the multiverse a better place for her when she was reborn.
The thought made me pause. Yes. Yes! That's what I can do. So that even if Quackers is gone...she'll be happy in her next life! I held back my shuddering. That's the right thing to do here, right?
I briefly thought about what Brother had told me. That I could overpower Ax and take his place. That I could be in charge of Souls. In charge of Life. In charge of everything.
No.
I shook my head. That's not something I should seriously consider. It was ridiculous.
(I would just fuck everything up, like I always did.)
I looked back down at the humans. Could Quackers be reincarnated as one of them? Technically I had a whole multiverse of possibilities for who her reincarnation might have been. I don't know if I would even be able to know which one was her. I sighed. It didn't matter. I had stuff to do.
I wasn't the only one grieving over Quackers.
Pyrone missed his little sister a lot. He hid it well but I noticed when I went over to visit him. He was watching his youngest children run around the garden. I floated into his lap so he could play with my arms, he always liked doing that. He tugged at my arms, he didn't hold them or me down, a loose grip that I could easily escape from. It was fine, I had no problems with that. It was the firm holds that I couldn't stand. And more than that, my children registered as 'safe' and I was more comfortable with them touching me. (What did it say about me then? When I didn't register as 'safe' to myself?)
"Hey Bill…" he asked. "What...happens when we die?"
"Your soul goes to your grandpa Ax. He clears your memories and then you're reincarnated." I responded. "Though sometimes, you don't lose all your memories. There are some people who remember their past lives."
He was quiet for a while, watching his children play. They gave me some weird looks and moved farther from me and Pyrone. I tried not to let it get to me. "I think...I can understand why you want us to be immortal." He said quietly.
I glanced up at him but he wasn't looking at me. His eye was on his kids. "If any of my kids died...I...don't know how I would be able to stand it." He curled his claws around my hand. "I can see you just...want to protect us, like you've always done."
He sighed. "I'm sorry that I can't accept your Deal." He closed his eye, looking strained. "I'm sorry for being a bad son."
"You're not!" I told him. He shook his head. "I'm...a little scared of dying. But I'm more scared of having to be here forever. Isn't that...dumb?" He sighed. "The thought of being here, working the farm forever, as much as I enjoy it, makes me feel faint. I don't know how everyone else can stand it. Living day after day forever…"
"You don't have to stay on the farm. You can go and do anything else. Find a new job, go to school, get a hobby?" I suggested. Pyrone groaned. "Even the thought of that makes me feel exhausted." He leaned back and sighed. "I...can't stand the thought of living forever. There just isn't enough stuff I'd want to do with my life."
"That's…" I tilted my head. "A very...basic reason for not wanting to live forever. You're afraid you'll be bored?"
"I'm not like mom who's happy just to run around stealing stuff and beating people up. I'm not like uncle Hec who's spending his time making life difficult for the people he doesn't like." He laughed. "And I'm definitely not like uncle Kryptos who wants to take over the universe or something."
"Kryptos's aspirations are hefty indeed." I giggled. Heck, maybe I could take down the Federation and put Kryptos in charge? Naw, he couldn't govern his way out of a paper bag. Science? Facts and figures? He's good at those. Board meetings with delegates from all over the multiverse to appease and compromise with? Heck no. Managing the multiversal market and economy? Fuck no. Kryptos isn't very good at things like that. He hates talking to people. And there's no way he could be the type of leader who could stand at the head of a government and lead the people. He's not charismatic enough, sorry dude.
"What I'm trying to say is that I don't think I'd be able to handle living forever. I think I'd be fine with...starting over again." Pyrone finished. I blinked slowly. That...that...was...a different perspective. "Wouldn't you be...scared to lose who you are?"
"Eh, you said there are some people who still retain bits of themselves. Besides, grandpa...is in charge of that right? Can't you ask him?" Pyrone gave me a small smile.
I thought about it.
Well...might as well ask.
-You want me...to not erase the memories of your children when they pass on?-
"Is...that too much? Am I overstepping my bounds?" I asked, worried I might have asked for too much, Ax has already indulged and favored me more than he rightfully should have. The fact that I was free to come and see him whenever I wanted was more than anyone else ever got. There were billions of devoted worshippers who've dreamed all their lives to someday meet their god, but he never shows himself to them. I was damn lucky. I finally remembered to bring up the idea of giving him a Seal that cut off his powers from affecting Free Will and he gave me this Look that I still haven't been able to decipher (ha!) but ultimately he said it was too dangerous to try for now (which wasn't a no.)
"Nevermind! If it's too much of an issue you don't have to! Or...you do have to. Erase their memories I mean. Well, not that I want you to or-"
-I cannot allow them to keep their memories. It interferes with their soul integrating with the new person they become. But...I can be...less...thorough with my cleaning process-
I lit up, glowing brightly as I shot forward to hug Ax tightly. "Thankyouthankyouthankyoudaddy!"
He rumbled, nuzzling his large face into me. -Also, I should mention, your daughter…-
"Quackers? What about her?" I asked. I tried to ignore the twinge of sadness that appeared inside me. No, I was FINE. I wasn't going to break down over this!
-Since her Mind was technically created by you and not her own, I do not know what will happen once she is reborn- Ax told me. I nodded slowly. "Is it going to be...bad?" I asked, dreading the answer. Ax settled down into his cloud. -I do not know. Only time will tell-
I guess that was...ok. I tried to ignore the tight feeling inside me. It's ok. She's...going to get reborn into a nice family. She's going to be happy, whoever she ends up being. Ax wouldn't let her be in a bad place. I know he wouldn't. Besides, wherever she ended up would still be better than what I did to the original Quackers.
I pressed a hand to my closed eye and fake breathed deeply to try and calm down. It...was my fault. I killed her. It was something I couldn't help but continue to beat myself up about. Because rebuilding a new Mind inside her didn't change things. I killed her. And then I raised the person who replaced her. I still loved her but I felt guilty and probably would never stop feeling like this. I killed her. I destroyed, erased, her mind. The most awful thing someone could ever do.
Ax poked me. -You cannot blame yourself forever-
"Watch me." I growled out before squeaking when Ax poked me again. Was he...paying me back for all the times I poked him?! I DID poke him a lot, was probably real annoying for him.
-It is unhealthy to continue to blame yourself in such a way-
"...Not gonna stop me…" I muttered and squeaked when he poked me again.
Ok fine. Ugh. "I can't help but feel bad about it." I muttered. I felt Ax gather me into his palm. -Even so, you cannot continue to blame yourself forever. You shouldn't. It's unnecessary suffering- ...he sounded… odd when he said this.
"You sound like Stan..." (And Brother, now that I thought about it.) I rolled my eye. Still, I know it wasn't helpful to angst forever. I just wasn't sure how to feel and at least angsting was familiar. Ax poked me again. "AaauuuUuuuaaaagh!" I whined and pushed his finger away. "Daaaaad!"
-...I do not... like seeing you sad. So stop purposely making yourself feel so- he admitted quietly. I stared at him incredulously. "Ah…" what? Ax looked almost...embarrassed? I flushed a bright orange. "Are you...trying to do DAD things?!" I squeaked. He looked away and...yeah he definitely looked embarrassed. I vibrated in place. "What's with you recently? You're almost being...proactive? Wait, that's not the right term…"
I felt Ax pulling me close to press my tiny triangular form against his cheek. "...dad?"
-The thing you have, that seal… I've seen yours and I'm thinking… about a Seal so that I could...actually interact with people besides just you and Time Baby…-
"I thought you said it was too dangerous?" I said, even as a thrill went through me. I tried to ignore Blue's suggestion for me to overthrow my AXOLOTL. It wouldn't come to that. I could handle dad! I could!
I stared at him. "You...want to try it?"
He nodded, an odd expression on his face that I couldn't fully understand. -It would be nice...to speak with my worshippers. I had never even considered cutting off my own powers. And perhaps…-
I stared at him. Serious? Was he being serious right now? "Oh." I blinked slowly. "Well...do you know how to isolate and shut off your power to manipulate Souls?" He shook his head. -I have never thought of doing so. It is too dangerous-
"Well, we can work together to make an automated system for it? Then you can actually take a break? And maybe help me convince Time Baby to do so too?" I patted his cheek. He nodded slowly. -I shall try to find a way to do this-
I rubbed his face for a while before I brought the subject up "Why haven't you tried doing something like this before?" Ax sighed, somehow managing to look old and worn down despite still looking like a giant baby salamander. -I had not considered it. I had my duty and the method I was meant to do it. Nothing more, nothing less-
Meaning he had gotten used to a routine and never thought about changing it. Looks like even he could get tunnel vision. Well, considering how anal Time Baby got about his own… yeah. I can see that happening. I rubbed Ax's face, squishing his soft cheeks. "Well we can get your autopilot thing up and running for now. And then I can work on making one for Time Baby…"
Ax nuzzled me. -That would be nice. I will contact him later- he paused and then asked, -Want to help me create a new dimension? It has been far too long since we've last done so-
"Sure." I wiggled myself deeper into his arms and rumbled in content. I liked watching him create new dimensions. They were pretty. He creates a new space and it expands after a small explosion of energy goes off that I help set off…
Wait. I squinted off into the multiverse. I HAVE helped Ax make a lot of dimensions, but there were many more that I don't remember being part of. Where was he...
"Where are you getting these initial energy bursts from?" I asked suspiciously. Ax looked sheepish. I paused and thought about it. Mother fucker.
"You've been taking the energy that leaks out of the Nightmare Realm, haven't you?" I stared at him. His fins twitched in a guilty fashion. -It means I don't have to wait for you and the energy's already leaking out so…- he responded.
"You lazy ass!" I laughed as I played with his cheeks like a drum set. He glanced down at me. -You are not angry?-
"I'm annoyed you never asked first but heck, I'm glad that all my excess energy is being used for something. I was afraid all the leakage was just going off randomly. It'd be a waste." I patted his cheeks, watching it wobble. "But you should have just asked. I wouldn't have said no."
Ax was quiet for a while before hugging me again. -You are so different- he told me. I rumbled against his arms. "Is that a good thing?" I just wanted to hear him say it.
Ax nodded. -In this case, yes-
I glowed at the roundabout praise. Oh. Ohhhh. Oh man I felt so… giddy at the sound of that. What can I say? I like hearing confirmation that dad liked (preferred) me over some other Bill.
"I'm...actually pretty lucky." I commented quietly. Ax tilted his head at me. -How so?-
"You actually care." He did! He did! He said so himself! And it had to be true or he wouldn't say such nice things to me! "I met Blue's Ax. He's...blank. Less of a person and more of an automated system of rules, laws and authority." I patted Ax's squishy arms. "You're a person." I noted. "And I'm so lucky." I was so lucky that my Ax was a person.
I glanced up at him. "I had thought all the AXOLOTL were connected, even those beyond my Door, but that other Ax was nothing like you. And the Ax that got summoned by brother that first time me and Seb were there wasn't HIS AXOLOTL. It was a different one." I frowned. Who was that other AXOLOTL then? "I hadn't thought about how different the Ax in other worlds could be. And especially about how my Doors reach farther than you can."
Ax rumbled. -I am not as powerful as you seem to believe-
I scoffed. "You have power HERE. I'm not gonna hold it against you for not having power everywhere."
My thought process shifted onto another topic that I had been meaning to talk to Ax about. "What if I don't want a prophecy?" I asked, almost feeling ashamed to do so. After all, I was the one who begged him for a Zodiac. And now I was changing my mind on it? Ax paused at my sudden question. -If you really don't want one, I won't make one ...but your Zodiac can still destroy you. I do not want that to happen-
I shrugged. "If I'm not 100% a dick, then they would have no reason to hurt me."
Ax still seemed worried but if I didn't want to get a prophecy he wouldn't force me to. I told him I would be fine. Even if the worst case scenario happened and my Ford ended up hating me ...I'm sure I could convince enough of my Zodiac to NOT hate me and kill me. I had no desire to hurt them or destroy the 3rd dimension. Maaaaaaybe take it over but ONLY because I want to make sure the Earth doesn't end up a horrible mess if humans somehow manage to fuck up the planet enough that it dies long before it's time.
Heck, I might just manually filter out the Earth's atmospheric issues if I could. But I would need to BE there. Which would mean a portal, built THERE. But that was only a last resort sort of thing.
It's fine, I just had to be on good behavior. I was going to see about diverting canon. I mean, AUs like Seb's dimension or Brother's dimension existed! I ignored the fact that they were both punched to death by Stan anyway at some point of their existence. They got better! So… eh?
Ax nudged me. -Are you ready?- he got us back on track. I nodded and watched him form a new Space. A new dimension. It was empty. It still needed a spark, a bang to get things rolling. I floated up and gave Ax one last cuddle before I Blinked away into this new space and breathed carefully. My bricks glowed. A rumbling sound vibrated into the space around me. It raised in pitch, going into a high whine until I exploded.
Things were blurry as I slowly reformed myself. Ooh. I felt surprisingly refreshed despite having blown myself up. It was surprisingly good stress relief when I was doing it on purpose and not just overloading. I pulled myself together into a new vessel and prepared to Blink back to Ax. Now we just need Time Baby to connect into the world so things can start to move forward.
In fact…
I looked around. Yeah, Time Baby already added his part. The space dust was swirling and clicking together. I've watched universes form so many times by now but it never stopped being beautiful to watch. I Blinked back to dad so we could watch it together. He cuddled me in his arms as we watched the particles click and build, pulling together and pulling in more mass from the particles around them. It was… soothing. I leaned back into Ax's embrace and allowed myself to calm. I had a plan of action, help Ax figure out how to make an autopilot function that could hold up his pillar for him. Help Ax figure out how to seal off his power to manipulate Souls and Free Will. Then Ax would be able to go out and meet people, talk to people.
Heck, I…
I paused as I was struck with this thought. I was lonely for a very long time, with only Ax and Time Baby for company. But I have my Friends now, my new family. But Ax? He only had me. Time Baby never cared enough to visit. Ax had no one but me.
I'd known that for a long time, but thinking about it now, that was just… That's… so sad.
I'm sure people might think that I would feel smug, like 'Ahah! I'm Ax's only friend so I can use him and manipulate him!' but I really didn't think of it. Why would I? I just felt bad for him. Imagine having no one but ME for company. I'm awful. Ax deserved better. So I needed to figure out how to help him. So he would be able to leave the Space between Spaces and go socialize or something.
Doesn't he just talk to the other AXOLOTL? Must suck, to have no one to talk to but yourself and an unstable, emotionally compromised demon god. And a giant talking baby who never cared. I nodded to myself. I needed to help Ax make some more friends.
An awful thought passed through my head. What if Ax got new friends and didn't want me anymore? I shook my head. Naw, that wouldn't happen. Friends are friends. Ax was my DAD. He could get all the friends he wanted, but he would always be my dad. Then a different thought hit me. What if Ax found someone 'special' in his life? Like… a lady friend? Or a gentleman friend (I ain't judgin') and then…
… and then I could have a mom…
I squealed and rolled around in his arms. He stared at me with a mildly confused expression. -I don't even want to know-
"Hey, hey!" I patted his arm, eye sparkling. "What's your orientation?" I asked. "Like, are you attracted to other Axolotls? What if I found some pretty lady-lotls?" He looked almost disturbed. -Whatever train of thought you're on, please st-
"I want a mom!" I declared before he finished his sentence. Ax looked absolutely flabbergasted. Like, his face was:
( 0_0 )
instead of the usual (-_-) expression. I giggled. Ax actually sputtered. -I do n-not require such companionship- I whined. That's no fun. "It would be nice to have a mom again…" I sighed. I know I didn't NEED parents. But… still?
I guess, part of me was trying to distance myself from the whole, everyone's growing older thing by trying to indulge myself in being a child. It was just me running away from reality again, but still. It made me feel better.
Ax sighed. -You do not need me to get you a mother. Go choose your own-
I considered that. Yeah. That made more sense. I chose Ax as my dad. I chose Blue as my brother. I could choose my own mom too! A thought for another time. I watched the formation and development of that new dimension for a while before bidding Ax a farewell and Blinking back home to my friends.
I floated into Ammy's room and stopped dead in my tracks. After a few seconds, I continued on my way. "What cha doing Ammy?" I asked. He was stringing up some papers and circling a few articles with a marker. The segmented shape turned a few eyes to me. "Hello mother. I am merely completing this section of my research."
"Cool." I said simply. "It looks like a conspiracy board."
Ammy tilted his top segment and said simply, "Indeed." I peered closer at the articles. There were pages and pages about the various groups who worshipped the AXOLOTL. I tilted in confusion. "Are you researching the Ax cults?" Ammy nodded. ''How is it that so many societies and species know about and worship grandfather despite never meeting him?"
I shrugged. "Seers can sometimes catch a glimpse of him in their visions. They can easily feel how powerful he is." And if you've somehow glimpsed the face of god, why wouldn't you try to start a cult in his worship? "I think Jessie's temple is the only place that actually worships him properly." Mainly because I actually talk about Ax to her. And pass on messages, whenever he actually decides to send one.
Otherwise… I'm sure they would have just started using Ax's name to promote their OWN cause, outside of whatever beliefs that Ax really had. Like all religions. Then again, Ax's thing was pretty simple. Don't destabilize the universe and cause the end of all reality. Simple.
Anything else was just extra.
Ammy nodded in thought. "So even outside of your direct influence, there are entities that discover grandfather and choose to worship him?"
"Obsessively so, and without full understanding of what they're doing, yes." I shrugged. It was hilarious how wrong they were. Ammy nodded. "And none of them have ever met grandfather?"
I shook my head. Ammy hummed in thought before moving a few of the threads. "Interesting." He deadpanned. "And yet, they worship him regardless, merely because of his power."
"That tends to happen." I shrugged. "I have plenty of worshippers too. And I can tell you now that the vast majority of them have never met me."
Ammy nodded. "More research is needed…"
I wasn't quite sure what he was after but I patted one of his angles and smiled. "Well, good luck on… whatever this is. But dinner's gonna be ready soon, just came to let you know." He nodded, already picking up some old books and flipping through pages. Well, as long as he's having fun.
Dinner was calmer than usual. Everyone seemed distracted. I looked around and wondered what was on their minds. I mean… the only thing I can think of was how I told them that I had been advised to stop taking jobs for Time Baby. I told them how I didn't want to kill for him anymore but perhaps I could fake it. And that, if worse comes to worse, we might have to watch out for the Federation out in public.
I didn't think it would upset them all THIS much? At least, that might be what the problem was? Well… only one way to find out…
"Are you guys doing ok?" I asked as I cut up the Sandworm steak to serve out to them. 8-Ball opened his mouth but Hectorgon slapped his hand across it. "It's fine. We're just thinking." he assured me. I wondered if I should press the subject but perhaps it would be better to let them tell me on their own time? "Well, if you need help with anything, just ask." I told them. 8-Ball nodded, keeping his mouth shut. Toobie nodded along, mimicking his dad.
Keyhole gave me a smile. "Don't worry Bill. We will." I huffed. Well, I'll hold them to that. I worried. I always did. I haven't gotten summoned for another job yet but part of me was still unsure what to do. I don't want to kill for him. Is there a way to do my jobs without killing anyone? Stan and Brother claimed I should just run for it. But I can't avoid Time Baby forever.
I wonder if dad talked to him…
Ax sighed. -You do not have to agree to him. He can do it on his own- I grumbled. "But what if he DOES try to pressure me into it?" Ax sighed again. -He's old enough to do this on his own now. If he continues to bother you...then I'll speak with him. I have also spoken to him about automating his pillar. He would be open to doing so, but doesn't want any help from you in constructing it.-
That was more than Ax has ever spoken about this subject before. He normally stayed silent about the matter. I was starting to get worried. "Why are you being so...active lately?" I place a hand on his face. "Seriously, are you okay? You're not sick or something right?" Ax had the audacity to roll his eyes at me. At ME! Like I'm the crazy one- ah wait, right, I AM crazy, but STILL!
-I am fine. I have merely… done a lot of thinking- Ax lowered his frills. -And I have been… lazy- he admitted. I stared. Ax stroked my side with a finger. -And I have been given more freedom to do what I want. And I want to try to… be a father- he admitted. I didn't understand what he meant, but I DID understand that he wanted to be a dad. And that meant he wanted… to protect me from Time Baby. Which was why he was going to talk to him. I was floored by this thought. I had never… thought that Ax would take MY side- like, for reals! Against Time Baby!
It was too amazing to be real. I shook. "I don't understand?" It didn't make any sense. Ax rumbled. -You… don't have to kill for him. You don't have to kill at all if you don't want to- he sighed. -He's been too reliant on you anyway-
I couldn't really believe what I was hearing. Ax tilted his head at me. -I would like for you two to get along, but don't force yourself to. It might have been too much to ask of you- he sounded almost regretful. I really couldn't understand what was going on right now. Ax stroked a finger along my side. -Don't worry too much. I am merely...trying to learn what it means to be a father…-
I blinked up at him, unsure what this all meant for me. What would happen...if Ax started being active? What would happen to the multiverse if he could come out and interact with people as well? What would it mean for the state of the world? A part of me felt like such a thing would cause untold chaos and panic...
….which sounded AMAZING!
I cackled to myself as I continued to try and figure out how to make a auto-system for Ax's pillar and Time Baby. Once I got these done… well...
Ax poked me. "Eep!" I squeaked.
-You're thinking about something naughty again…- Ax sighed. I just whined and flopped around on his arm.
Crafting the autopilot was difficult. I ended up spying on Time Baby and observing how he did it. It was a rather complex system. But, well, I have learned some things from when I Looked at Blue's Ax (I shuddered faintly) and I saw how I could tweak a few things here and there to create the effect I want. The problem would be how to test this without Time Baby noticing and getting on my case about it. (Weird how many things still worked similarly, despite my dimensional set not having an Outside. We're not a game, not like Blue's world. And I'm pretty sure Seb's world isn't a game either, despite him and brother having similar backstories. Though now I was curious, who created the Game that brother lived in? Could I get to the Outside of his world if I tried? So many questions~!)
Time Baby was… very peeved when Ax told him that he wasn't allowed to call on me unless it was an absolute emergency. I tried very hard not to look smug while he fumed. I'm pretty sure he thought it was unfair that Ax was actually taking my side.
Wait.
Ax was taking my side?
Huh. That's… amazing. I know he wasn't supposed to… something must be wrong. Was the universe going to fall apart? Was this the end of times?! Ax poked me. "Eep!" Ok that was REALLY annoying! I'm certain by now that Ax was paying me back for all the poking I gave him over the years.
Poke.
"DDDDXXJK!" I shrieked, slapping my hands around wildly. Ax actually laughed at me, more lighthearted than I've ever seen him. I could see Time Baby laughing too. I hissed and batted Ax's hand away when he went in for another poke. Once I had myself protected, I turned to Time Baby. "Um… can we still do Hauntfest?"
He stopped laughing and glared but after a while he sighed. "CIPHER. WE NEED TO TALK." I blinked. "Like, talk talk or you yell at me while I ignore you talk?" That got me an annoyed look. "TALK. I THINK THERE ARE MANY THINGS WE NEED TO CLEAR UP."
Ax swam away and left us to it. I fiddled with my bowtie. There was quiet for a while in Time Baby's personal chambers. He seemed to be thinking very hard about something. Or maybe he was constipated, fuck if I knew what that expression meant. Time Baby sighed. "WE DO NOT GET ALONG." He started. I scoffed. Understatement of the millennia. "AND YET THE AXOLOTL WOULD SPEAK UP FOR YOU. HE WISHES THAT WE WOULD GET ALONG."
"Ax has always wanted the three of us to just… work together in harmony or something." I shrugged. Time Baby rubbed at his face. "YES. I AM WELL AWARE." he frowned heavily. "I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY HE BELIEVES SUCH A THING IS POSSIBLE. YOU ARE CHAOS. YOU ARE INSTABILITY. WHY DOES HE BELIEVE YOU CAN BE BETTER?"
"...because I try to be?" I flicked my bowtie, unable to really look at him. "Which I utterly fail at. Over and over again." Gosh I was bad at this. That Stanford was right. I'm just awful. Time Baby stared at me. "WELL YOU CERTAINLY HAVE FAILED. YOU'RE A MESS."
I twitched. My power burned inside me, wanting to lash out. How dare he talk to me like that? I closed my eye and trembled, clamping down on the molten force within me. No. Calm. Calm. Losing control would just make things worse. Getting mad and sniping back would just be making things worse. It's what Stan said.
My instincts screamed at me, not wanting to let this go. My pride snarled at me, not wanting to let the insult slide. I hissed and clenched my fists until the rage subsided. When I opened my eye, Time Baby was regarding me quietly.
"What?" I ground out. He had the gall to laugh at me. "SEEING YOU STRUGGLE IS FUNNY." I scowled. "You're not making this easy." He shoved his whole fist in his mouth, muffling his laughter. I glared but managed to hold back from anything more. Finally, he finished laughing and pulled his fist out, there was drool everywhere. Ugh.
"SO YOU ARE TRYING HARDER. CUTE, BUT ULTIMATELY POINTLESS IF YOU CAN'T KEEP THAT UP." He stared at me. "YOU KEPT YOUR TEMPER THIS TIME. BUT WHAT OF NEXT TIME? OR THE ONE AFTER THAT?"
I glared. "It's not like you don't lose your temper either. And your tantrums can destroy things just as bad as mine."
"IT'S NOT THE SAME." He claimed, which frustrated me to no end. "How is it not the same?" I practically spat at him. He turned sober as he stared at me. "YOU'RE MORE POWERFUL THAN ME. YOU'RE CAPABLE OF MUCH MORE DEVASTATING DAMAGE."
...did he just ADMIT that I'm stronger than him?
"But that doesn't make your own tantrums right. You're just as much in the wrong as I am with losing your temper." I pointed out. Time Baby scoffed. "IT MATTERS NOT."
"The hell it doesn't." I pointed out. "Look, while we're here, can I ask you something?" I sighed. "Why do we HAVE to stick with what we got? Why can't you just roll back time to prevent problems?" I stared at him. "Like when that planet got infected and I was forced to eat them. Why…" I felt pretty frustrated about this whole thing. "Why couldn't we have just rewound the planet to when the infection didn't start yet… and then just destroyed the virus before it got that bad?"
Before he could respond, I continued, "I know you have your timeline, I know it's a lot of trouble, but WHY do you HAVE to stick to your Timeline? Why can't we deviate if a change can make the world better?"
He scoffed. "A SMALL CHANGE CAN SNOWBALL INTO CATASTROPHIC CHANGES DOWN THE LINE. AND I WOULD LIKE TO KEEP THE CREATION OF ALTERNATE TIMELINES TO A MINIMUM. IT'S SIMPLY TOO MUCH TROUBLE."
I can't tell what he's thinking, but I could feel this wasn't the whole reason. And I KNEW what the real reason was. "You're just scared." I narrowed my eye at him. "You're just afraid of deviation because then you won't know what's going to happen."
"ORDER IS STABILITY! ORDER IS CONTROL. I HAVE TO KEEP EVERYTHING IN LINE SO THE UNIVERSE DOESN'T FALL INTO CHAOS!" the look on his face made it clear what he thought about that. "You're just scared." I continued. "I get that. But life IS weird and unpredictable. There's nothing wrong with that. You don't have to micromanage the timeline. Everyone else...the mortals don't have any idea what their fates are, and maybe… you shouldn't either?"
Time Baby drew himself up and scowled. "I AM THE GOD OF FATE. IF I SAY THIS IS WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN, THEN THIS IS WHAT SHALL HAPPEN."
I glared back. "And I'm Death and I say NO." I put my hands on my bottom corners. "Frankly, I don't like killing people. It happens, sure, because I'm an idiot with terrible anger management problems, but I don't like it. And you know what? I'm a Death god who doesn't like death." After all, I can grant immortality. I knew how. As someone who very well understood what it took to kill someone, I knew even better how to prevent it. And, maybe it's paradoxical that a Death god would be so interested in preserving life, but I'm made of paradoxes. The multiverse's biggest hypocrite.
"I don't want to kill for you anymore." I told him simply. "And I don't want to be your enemy. We're supposed to work together, but I don't like you, and you hate me. But that doesn't mean we can't just agree to disagree." I was trying really hard. I don't like Time Baby and maybe I never will, but I don't want to be his enemy, if only because of the inconvenience it would cause my friends.
Time Baby sighed. "I DO NOT KNOW HOW YOU GOT THE AXOLOTL ON YOUR SIDE. BUT JUST BECAUSE HE SAYS I CANNOT ASK FOR YOUR SERVICES DOESN'T MEAN I WON'T BE DOING EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO PRESERVE MY TIMELINE."
"Look, I'm not touching your shit and you leave MY shit alone. That's all it is." I sighed, too tired of this to really argue more. Speaking with Time Baby was always exhausting. He sighed, looking almost as weary as I felt. "THERE IS A JOB I WILL NEED YOU TO DO IN A FEW CENTURIES. THIS IS AN IMPORTANT TASK. IF YOU DON'T DO THIS, AN ENTIRE DIMENSION WILL FALL TO RUIN." He said at last.
I knew he was guilting me into agreeing. He did that. All the time. "Can't you send your own guys to do this? For someone who doesn't trust me or like me, you sure do put all the important tasks on my head." I pointed out. He grimaced. "I WOULDN'T DO THIS IF I HAD ANY OTHER CHOICE. REGARDLESS OF HOW I FEEL, YOU ARE THE BEST MAN FOR THE JOB. AND I CANNOT SEND MY EXTERMINATORS INTO THAT DIMENSION. I CAN BARELY GET AWAY WITH SENDING MY TIME ANOMALY REMOVAL CREW!"
"I told you that I don't want to kill for you anymore." I said simply. "And once again, your precious timeline is not MY problem. If you want this done right, you should do it yourself. You lazy butt." I was still on the fence about the whole…'deny Time Baby and just enter an actual conflict with the Federation' thing. But I also told myself I wouldn't kill for him anymore.
"I HAVE MANY IMPORTANT DUTIES. YOU JUST SPEND YOUR TIME PLAYING AROUND." Time Baby complained. Was he… whining? I narrowed my eye at him. "Well, it's not MY fault you're so anal about micromanaging the timeline. You COULD just let it be. What's the worse that can happen?"
"PARADOXES, UNREGULATED TIME TRAVEL, CHAOS…" Time Baby trailed off with a frown. "LOOK, I'M DOING THIS FOR THE GOOD OF THE MANY. WHAT'S A FEW MORTALS HERE AND THERE IF IT ENSURES THAT THE MAJORITY SURVIVE?"
"And I'm just saying, maybe… things don't need to be going as planned all the time." I really didn't want to argue. I had a headache, I was tired, I just wanted to go home. "I won't kill for you anymore." I repeated. Time Baby considered me for a while. "BUT YOU WOULD KILL FOR YOUR FRIENDS? SELFISHLY."
"It's not any better or worse than what I do for you. You want me to kill to protect the stability of the timeline, I want to kill to protect my family."
"THE TIMELINE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE LIVES OF A FEW MORTALS."
"Not to me." I told him firmly. "They are my Friends, my family. They're everything to me. And I'd rather kill because I choose to than have someone else telling me what to do. And at least the people I choose to kill are generally not good people." I know it doesn't make things better, but it made ME feel better about it.
Time Baby scowled. "YOUR FRIENDS-"
"-will ALWAYS be left alone, whether or not I do your job. This is between you and me, not them." I interrupted. Time Baby scowled but finally nodded. Dunno if he's gonna remember that, but I recorded our conversation anyway just in case. He glared when I clicked my Com off and put it away. "FINE." He folded his arms. "BUT IF YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT THE LIVES OF MORTALS SO MUCH, THIS UPCOMING JOB IS IMPORTANT. IF YOU DON'T DO IT, THE 3RD DIMENSION WILL BE DESTROYED."
I went cold. Wait, what? "This… involves the 3rd dimension?" I narrowed my eye. "I can't use my full powers in the 3rd dimension. You know that!" Time Baby scoffed. "I KNOW YOU HAVE WAYS AROUND IT."
"Not enough to do a job. No. I'm not-"
"IF YOU DON'T, THE 3RD DIMENSION WILL BE DESTROYED." Time Baby thundered. I twitched. "Uuuugh, what's even happening this time? What is so bad that the whole dimension is involved?!" Nevermind, I'll look it up myself. I turned away to Flicker and…
Huh.
"...why are they trying to end the world?!" I wailed. Seriously?! Messing with black magic was one thing. Purposly trying to end all life as they knew it was… what even the FUCK?!
….I will never understand mortals.
"YOU SEE NOW? WHY THEY HAVE TO BE DEALT WITH?" Time Baby had the gall, the utter GALL to look smug. I flipped him off, still seething at the utter stupidity of it all. Well, I didn't have to kill them, just make them not try this again. "I will make them stop, but I'll handle it my own way." I muttered out. Possibly, tearing the knowledge out of their minds would work just as well. "And wipe that stupid look off your face." I snapped at Time Baby. "This changes nothing, I still don't want to kill people for you."
But I wouldn't turn down a Deal either. What can I say? I'm pragmatic. "But seriously, leave my friends alone. This is between you and me." I told him again. I'm tired of this. All of this. It was stupid for me to think that Time Baby might actually be trying to get along with me. Either way, I got my Deal to do something about the damn idiots who think purposely destroying a dimension might be cool. I know I taught magic to mortals, and I know that humans are inventive enough to make up new spells and rituals- but why this?! I flew into their dreams and straight up told them to stop what they were doing before I was forced to stop them myself. I wanted to give them a chance. That wasn't bad right?
They didn't take my warning seriously. Worse, they laughed at me. "Try a different spell, the demon we got is stupid. Summon another one!" I tried to keep my temper, I really did. But they were literally trying to kill everyone in the 3rd dimension, for fun! I even explained this all to them. But they still thought it'd be cool to try. "The complete destruction of the world? That's amazing! We can really do that with magic? We have to try out some of this on the small scale first!" One of them laughed. "I know someone I want to try that paralysis spell on." Another added, getting their friends to all cheer.
I… had no words.
So I said nothing.
I remained silent even as I tore their minds apart one by one and made their friends watch. Made them scream and try to run, to wake up and escape this nightmare. The ones I weren't currently tearing to shreds begged for mercy. They claimed they would stop. They claimed they wouldn't try something like this again.
I didn't stop.
Because they hadn't been lying when they all laughed about using this black magic they were learning to mess with people. To hurt people. Deliberately. Because that was what they found fun. And sure, I liked to mess with people too, but not like this. They wanted to hurt people.
Why?
Because they were bored.
So I tore them apart. I ripped out their knowledge of magic and how to use it. And then I turned my attention to something far worse. They weren't dead. Oh no. I'm not killing them. Heck, I wasn't even destroying their minds or sense of self.
But their brain to body connection? The ability to translate thought to action? I tore that out and crushed it. They would be fully aware and alert, just as they had always been, every bit still themselves.
But their body would no longer move when they tell it to. Trapped, fully aware, within their own living prison of flesh.
I normally turned people to stone to get this same effect, but my powers were limited in the 3rd dimension so mental attacks it was. Besides, if they truly felt bad I'll even put them back to normal. I'll check on them again some other time. I'm too angry right now to deal with them anymore.
They wanted to destroy the 3rd dimension, I couldn't allow that. Fuck no. That was my line.
Everything was on fire.
Shots were fired at me but none even came close. The physical bullets melted under the heat surrounding me, the laser shots were just as useless, even the plasma blasts were nothing more than softballs with how useless they were in even hitting me. I paid them all no mind. They were screaming at me, but I barely heard them over the roaring of the flames. I steadily made my way to my destination, melting anyone who was stupid enough to come close and with my eye focused on only one thing.
Pynelope's limp body.
She'd dug too deep. Pissed off one politician too many. I had been so proud when she released that article outing one of the board members as being part of the slave trade in the FidNix galaxy. With documented proof and everything.
Figured some people weren't as happy with her work as I was.
Still, I didn't think anyone would actually be dumb enough to try and kill her.
I noticed in time. Pure luck really. She was injured, severely wounded, but she wasn't dead (yet). But she was fading fast. I cleared the area around her so that I could work, her soul was slipping out.
I said no.
Snatching her soul was easy with me being right here. I held onto it, grasping the wriggling bit of light that held everything Pynelope was. I turned the rest of my attention on fixing her body. Healing the wounds she had died from. The heat was making it hard to see straight, the air around me vibrating. I had to make sure I didn't end up melting Pynelope too. I could see Jion's body nearby. Long dead. I couldn't get his soul, unfortunately. But I would preserve his body, he was Pynelope's friend, I would let her decide what to do with his body. Yoland's crumpled body was nearby as well, but she was a Prinny so I left it alone. Prinnys were already dead anyway.
I knit Pynelope's body back together from the mangled bullet riddled mess it was. I fixed her up even better than before. I had to pause to screech at some idiots trying to come close again, searing a larger ring of fire around me to make them back off, before I finally placed Pynelope's soul back into her body.
The first thing she did was gasp, jolting in place and spasming until she got control of her limbs again. I wrapped my arms around her, relief flowing through me. She was alive. She was alive.
"B-Bill? What?" Pynelope coughed, her limbs were still shaking. Well that was to be expected, being brought back to life was a taxing thing. She trembled in my arms, no strength to even lift herself. "I pressed a finger to her lips. "Don't talk, your lungs just finished regrowing." I picked her up, cradling her close even as i bubbled Jion and Yoland's bodies to keep safe. "Come on, you're going home for a while. I won't have you out and about while recovering." I Blinked us home to the Death Star, leaving behind the smoldering battlefield.
Pynelope was pretty out of it. She weakly tried to stand up again but flopped back down and I pet her hair gently as I placed her on her bed."It's okay ThermiePack. Just sleep. I'm here. You're safe." My rage had died down, she was safe now. She wasn't dead. And as soon as she was peacefully asleep, I was going to go back and track down every single person who shot at her. Not gonna kill them, no, I'm going to give them Pynelope. If she wanted to kill them herself, I didn't want to take away her fun.
My daughter eventually drifted off, I blinked my eye into a mouth to give her a kiss on her foreheard before leaving. I had some idiots to find.
Well at least they didn't attempt to lie to me or make excuses for what they did. I turned them all to stone and took them home with me to put in the dungeon. Pynelope will decide their ultimate fate. Everyone was quite somber back home. Pyronica was in her daughter's room, an expression on her face I couldn't quite understand. Her emotions were a mess as well. "Hey, you okay?" I asked her. For my part, I was content. After all, my little Thermal Pack was alive and safe with me. Sure she died, but I fixed it!
Pyronica sighed. She rubbed at her eye before finally turning to me. "Thank you for saving her." She told me. Which was ridiculous. "Of course I did! She's-" I sputtered, "-I couldn't just leave her!" Old age was one thing, getting shot to death by a whole battalion is another! Pyronica sighed. "What now? Will they keep coming after her? Will they go after Pyrone as well?"
"Not if I have anything to say about it " I growled. I was keeping as Eye on Pyrone. If they so much as go near the dimension where my son was living, I was going to eat them. Okay fine, maybe not eat them, maybe just a little biting. Just taking their arms off so they couldn't hold weapons. Because apparently my verbal threats weren't enough anymore. Geez, I go on my best behavior and people think they can pull this shit on me. Did they assume I had gone soft? What made them think this was a good idea? I made it quite clear that no one was allowed to touch my family.
Pyronica managed a quiet chuckle. "You're gonna threaten them again?" She reached for me and I allowed her to pluck me from the air and place in her lap. I nuzzled back against her. "I'm gonna make another example of them. I got like twenty assassins and three politicians currently locked in the dungeon."
"...Am I allowed a piece?" I felt her tremble a little. "Sure. Though Pynelope gets first dibs on all of them. I'm gonna broadcast this all over, just so people get the message."
Pyronica curled around me, her fire was roaring. "I'm so angry right now." She admitted. I knew. I could feel it. But I wasn't feeling it. That was good I suppose. I hummed. "Why aren't you more upset?" Pyronica asked, seemingly confused by how docile I was. My response was a shrug, "I already turned everyone involved into stone. I've got an eye on Pyrone in case they try anything, and Pynelope is safely here."
"Hm. I guess." Pyronica sighed again. "I hate this. Why can't they just leave us alone?"
"The guy lost his job because of 'Nelope's article." Tina's mom made sure of that, once she fact checked with her own investigation. Angry as he was, even he knew that sending assassins after the councilwoman wouldn't get him his job back, and would simply put him on the Federation's hit list. So he went after Pynelope out of spite. Frankly, I think he just forgot who he was messing with here. Well I was going to remind him and everyone else in this sector that no one touches what was mine.
On her bed, Pynelope stirred again, waking up slowly. We were at her side in an instant. "Are you feeling okay? Are you hurt anywhere?" Pyronica asked her daughter. Pynelope groaned. "Mom?" She had better muscle control now, managing to turn over to face us. "Bill?"
"We're here." I held her hand. She seemed confused for a bit before her memories caught up with her and I watched her eye go wide. "Jion! He-"
"He's dead. I'm sorry. I didn't get there in time. I was more worried about you." I could see her process that as her expression crumbled. "...and Yoland?" She asked, looking miserable at the news that her friend was gone.
"Yoland's a Prinny. We just need to get to the nearest afterlife hospital and pay some money to summon her back." Prinnys were all already dead after all. The prinny system was put in place by a bunch of necromancers ages ago as a substitution for the Hell system of torturing sinners after their deaths before they reincarnated. Frankly, it was too expensive to uphold the Hell system, they had to pay for the upkeep of the pocket dimension, pay the Demon workers, pay to keep the facility running, electricity bills… It just wasn't worth it. The Prinny system on the other hand, trapped the souls of sinners and made them unable to reincarnate until they've worked off all their sins through manual labor, indentured servitude and other such things. Yoland is technically a free Prinny, having paid off on the sins she committed in life, but she didn't want to reincarnate yet. Which means she was still a Soul that could be called back.
...I maaaay have had a hand in designing the system. Just a bit. Unfortunately it didn't encompass more than a couple dimensions. And Jion wasn't from those dimensions. So there was nothing holding his Soul here and he'd gone off to Ax.
Pynelope slumped back over. "...So Jion's dead." She croaked, her voice getting stuck in her throat. "-'Nelope?" I squeezed her hand. She closed her eye and breathed. "I need to be alone."
"Of course. We'll be right outside if you need us." Pyronica kissed her daughter's horn before she stood up and gently picked me up to go outside. As the door slid shut, I heard the beginnings of a sob.
"Shouldn't we be with her?" I asked. Pyronica sighed, leaning against the wall. "She needs some time to grieve alone. This is personal. She doesn't want us to see."
"But…" I wanted to be there to comfort her. Pyronica shook her head. "No, let her have this. She'll come to us when she's ready."
And that was it. I didn't know what to do with myself. Pynelope hadn't been this bad off when Quakers passed away. I suppose it was because we all knew she was dying and Pynelope had the time to prepare herself for it, emotionally. Jion's death was sudden. I could understand that.
Will's death had been sudden. I… I hadn't even gotten to say anything to him. No important dying words, didn't even get to tell him I loved him. That had been the worst part. The lack of closure. So I guess I understood why she was so upset. I just… Still wanted to be there for her.
Hectorgon and Teeth came by. "Is she okay?" Teeth asked, much softer than his usual loud tone. Pyronica sighed. "I don't know yet. But she's a strong girl. She'll be alright." Her faith in her daughter was admirable. But I was worried. That faint trace of Despair I tasted from Pynelope was bitterly sour. Like rot. The decay of Self Loathing.
But I didn't know what to do about this. I wanted to go in there, tell her that none of it was her fault and she shouldn't blame herself for what happened. Hypocritic as that would be. I just didn't want her being alone right now. But I got the feeling that if I went in there, she'd get mad at me. Still, I couldn't stand the thought of her crying alone by herself. I peeked inside the room, watching her bury her face in her pillow. I didn't like hearing her cry. I focused my power and moved one of her dolls, an old one I got for her when she was a child (which she stopped playing with as she got older, but kept regardless) up to her bed and laid it beside her. She flinched and looked around, spotting the doll and there was a pause before she reached out to grab it and practically strangled the poor thing to herself as she went back to crying. But I felt better knowing she had something there for her.
Pyronica's nudge brought me blinking back to myself. "Bill, what were you doing?" She frowned at me. I huffed. "I was just checking on her." My friend's expression softened. Hectorgon sighed. "Come on, we should give her some space. And see about what the news is saying about this." I almost groaned at that. "You go ahead. I'm gonna wait here." Pyronica grimaced. "Me too."
Teeth and Hectorgon glanced at each other and then at us. "Alright then. We'll update you on the situation later."
And then they were off, out and down the hall through the door that appeared as they walked past the wall.
I leaned against Pyronica and slumped, feeling exhausted for some reason. I guess she felt the same, since she slid down to sit on the ground, laying me on her lap. Neither of us really seemed to know what to say since she didn't speak and neither did I.
Pynelope finally came back out. I asked her what she wanted to be done with the people who had attacked her, killed both her and her friend. She stiffened and her flames burned brighter before settling back to normal. "Where are they?" She asked at last. I brought her down to the dungeon. She spent a long time staring at the statues of her murderers, their faces caught in their final moments of terror. "Thermie Pack?" I asked, floating beside her. Finally, she told me, "Let them go."
"...so you can destroy them?" I asked as I reached forward to undo their petrification. Pynelope shook her head. "No. Let them go. Let them go free."
...I wasn't sure if I was understanding her. "Ah… so you can hunt them down yourself?"
"No Bill!" Pynelope turned to me, tears building in her eye. "Just- just put them back where you found them. I don't-" She huffed. "I don't care. Just, let them go." I wasn't quite sure what she meant but… "Ah… you know your mom wanted to get a piece of them after you."
"Well she can't. Because we're not going to do anything to them." Pynelope sighed, rubbing her face. "Just let them go." I still didn't understand, but… if that was what she wanted...
The prisoners gasped for air and collapsed as I reversed the petrification. Another wave of my hand sent them tossed through a portal back to their own dimensions (and homes, I couldn't believe I was being so merciful). As the portal closed on their terrified screams, I turned to face Pynelope. "Are you okay?" I asked.
She certainly didn't look okay. "...you said we can bring Yoland back?" She finally asked. Well, if she wanted to. I took her with me to the hospital and handed over Yoland's body. Huh. She was a pretty old Prinny, the revival cost was quite expensive. Yoland squeaked when Pynelope enveloped her in a hug the second she was back. "Pynelope? Wh-where's Ji-"
"Jion's dead." Pynelope's voice wavered but firmed up as she added, "We're not going to let this stop us. Jion would be so pissed if we let them win." I backed up to let the two have a bit of privacy. Watching the two made me a little uncomfortable. I thought Pynelope must have been grieving in her own way. There was a fervor in her eye, a vehement insistence. I could see Yoland was worried as well. But she, like I, didn't know how to handle this, but the Prinny nodded along. "Of course. We got killed for exposing the truth, but that's not gonna stop us."
...it was at this point that I wondered if the reason Yoland refused to reincarnate was because she was technically immortal as a Prinny so long as someone was willing to pay to bring her back?
"Thermie? Do you wanna come home and rest? You're still not fully recovered from dying." I spoke up. But she shook her head. "I can't- can't just sit around doing nothing. I have work to do."
I worried that she was trying to use work as a way to keep herself busy and distracted from what had happened. But when I attempted to get her to come home (where it was safe) with me, she only got angry. "No Bill, I have work to do! Those people who killed Jion need to be taken down."
"...so you do want to kill them?" I wasn't pleased by this, definitely not, what the heck do you mean? Pynelope snarled. "No. I'm going to expose them. I'll expose all of them. I'm gonna keep going. No matter how many times it'll take."
I suppose, in her own way, this is revenge. Probably more satisfying for her than simply killing them. Well, I'm very worried but without any idea how to deal with this, I just… let it go. All I could do was try and keep her safe as she continued her work. I only hoped it would be enough.
I was beginning to think Pynelope was dealing with her grief in an unhealthy way.
She was digging. Never stopped. She was putting herself into more and more dangerous situations in her quest to find the truth. Many secrets were unearthed, dirty laundry were displayed for all to see. Her articles were causing a lot of stir. Unrest. I continued to feel more and more uncomfortable at all this.
And, with all the people she was pissing off, and with how she had made me let her killers go free, people dared to come after her life again.
Of course I was there to protect her. I would always protect her. I had made a promise, back when she and Pyrone were born. But it was stressful. I had to keep an Eye on her all the time. She was so reckless. She kept getting hurt. She kept getting killed whenever my attention slipped for even an instant. I didn't have time to do my own thing anymore, my every moment spent watching her. I couldn't stand it.
I know I shouldn't be complaining, I wanted her safe. And alive. But being on alert all the time was being to wear me out. Me! Of all deities! I worried about her safety constantly. I had to shred my false Dreamscape just so I wouldn't fall asleep. So I could stay up and keep watch. Day after day after day after day-
"Bill." Pyronica knelt beside me as I trembled in front of the stove, breakfast burning in a bad way as my focus got pulled away by another breaking and entering stunt my daughter was pulling off. "Bill!" Pyronica nudged me. "The food is burning in the bad way!"
Once I saw Pynelope safely escape the building and Warp back home to her fortified (by me) apartment, I blinked slowly and brought my attention back to myself. "Oh shit." I stared at the blackened meat. Well, looks like I'm gonna be the garbage disposal again today.
"Bill you have to stop." Pyronica told me. I trembled. "I-" But I had to keep her safe. I couldn't just-
"Bill, please. I don't like seeing you like this. None of us do." My best friend pulled me in for an embrace. I blinked slowly and glanced over at everyone else. 8-Ball and Keyhole looked quite distressed. Hectorgon wasn't looking at me, but he was biting his lip. Kryptos looked downright angry for reasons I couldn't identify. Xanthar was slumped in on himself, distressed and unhappy. Teeth looked uncomfortable. Ammy just gave me a level stare, and PaciFire had his face buried in his hands. "Like… what?" I asked.
"Bill." Pyronica looked pained as she laid her head down on my hat. "Stop. It's okay. You… don't have to keep doing this."
I didn't understand.
"Pynelope's an adult. She can't rely on you forever. You can't keep- doing this for her. She can't keep expecting you to protect her from her own actions."
I didn't understand.
"Dammit Bill! How many times have you brought her back to life at this point?!" Pyronica snarled. "She doesn't appreciate it! She's acting like this is all just something that she doesn't have to face the consequences on!"
I didn't understand.
"...but I have to-"
"No Bill! You don't!" Pyronica practically wailed. "I want my daughter to be alive as much as you, but not if you're going to destroy yourself like this because of it!"
I snapped.
"So what?! Are you saying I should let her stay dead?!"
"YES!"
I froze. Everyone did. Even Pyronica, and she was the one who said it.
I finally found my voice. "You can't be serious." She couldn't be. No way. This was her daughter!
Pyronica closed her eye and breathed. She was gripping my sides, tight. Almost painfully so, though I didn't think she realized it. "I love my daughter." She said firmly. Her claws pressed against my bricks before her grip loosened. She slumped in place, her flames dying down to a smolder. "But I love you too."
She opened her eye, looking tired in a way I haven't seen before."I appreciate how much you want to protect her. But this isn't fair to you. I will tell her that you're not going to bring her back anymore. This isn't right, and she shouldn't be using you like this."
"But…" I wilted in place, unable to comprehend. "What if she gets killed?"
"Then she's just facing the consequences of her own recklessness. She needs to learn to take responsibility for herself. You can't always fix her messes for her. Bill, please." She sounded so desperate. I just couldn't understand. If I had the power to protect my baby forever, I should do so, right?" So why was I being told not to?
"Bill, please." Pyronica begged again when she realized I didn't get it. "Just let me talk to her. And you… Stay out of it. Don't help her anymore. Not for this. She's using you! Can't you see that?"
"It's fine to be used. I'm just protecting her." I didn't understand why Pyronica looked so strained when I said that. I hear Hectorgon wince, "I don't think you'll get through to him." To which Kryptos growled. "Dammit Bill! You don't have to help her anymore. You've already done enough!" I stared at all of them incredulously, looking from one to another, but they were all… they all thought this?
"I don't understand." my eye teared up, distress bubbling up inside me. "What did I do wrong?"
"You didn't do anything wrong." Pyronica pressed me close. "But… let me deal with this now."
"She's going to die." my bricks went dull with the realization. "She's not going to come back."
Pyronica closed her eye and shuddered. "I know."
"But… that…" I just couldn't understand. Why? But Pyronica just shook her head. "I'm sorry Bill."
Pyronica had a talk screaming argument with her daughter. I didn't have ears to cover, but Xanthar carried me out of the room. Keyhole and Kryptos sat with me, holding my hands and telling me that everything was alright. I knew they were lying to make me feel better, but I didn't bother to call them out on it.
"-OP BEING SO STUPID! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THIS! YOU'RE JUST BEING-"
"Hey, lets go to my room, I got a new music player." Keyhole suggested. "I haven't heard you sing for a while. We can sing together? That'd be fun!" He was trying so hard. "-ELL IF YOU AND BILL AND EVERYONE ELSE ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING INSTEAD OF IGNORING WHAT'S GOING ON-
"Hey, I think today's a good day for Maid RPG!" Kryptos said loudly as we all made our way down to a platform that moved forward and through a few arched stairwells and past the transparent observatory area. The Death Star currently had a nice view of a breathtaking nebula outside, but I couldn't appreciate it. I barely reacted to Kryptos wanting to play Maids with me.
...I DID react when Keyhole fell off the moving platform. I managed to grab him before he fell more than two stories and pulled him back up. "S-stars!" He gasped. "We really need a fence around the platforms!" He looked somewhat pale. Despite myself, I let out a chuckle. "Naw, that'll take the fun out of it!" I did form a net below the platform to catch anyone unfortunate enough to fall off though. I wonder if I should have thought about safety before building this area? Naw, it wasn't like it was stairs.
Keyhole pouted at me, but I could feel his relief that I was cheering up. Well, I wasn't going to tell him I was faking it, to make him stop worrying. Kryptos hadn't let go of my hand. I don't think he was buying it. Neither was Xanthar. Well, I'll just have to act harder!
Don't worry so much about me! I'm allowed to feel upset by this! I don't- I don't know what to do! I just wanted Pynelope to be alive. But she kept throwing herself into danger. What was I supposed to do? And Pyronica told me to stop helping her- But I couldn't do that!
We got to Keyhole's room and my friends made good on their suggestion to play Maids with me. Ammy showed up too. And PaciFire. It was sweet, but also, did they think I needed this much help? I wasn't fine but I didn't need them babying me! Still, I tried my best to act normal as I DMed the game. They were trying very hard. Kryptos even willingly wore a maid outfit for this.
I just wished I was in a better mood to appreciate it.
Finally, Pyronica came to find us. "Bill, don't revive Pynelope if she gets herself killed again."
"I won't-"
"No. You leave her be. She's an adult. She knows exactly what she's getting herself into and I've made it clear to her that she can't keep using you like this." Pyronica huffed. I reared up to protest but she shot me down with a, "She agreed. She agreed that she wouldn't count on you to just bring her back to life if she dies from her own recklessness."
There was a rumbling sound. "And how did you get her to agree to that?"
Pyronica glared back, to all outward appearances she wasn't afraid at all. But I could taste her Fear. She wasn't backing down though. The others were putting some distance from me, except for Xanthar, who pulled me closer to press against his fur. "I told her that it wasn't fair to you. Regardless of how she felt about this."
"She's grieving." I ground out.
"It's not an excuse for purposely getting herself killed, with full knowledge that someone is going to bring her back." Pyronica retorted. "If she knows you're not going to do so, she'll be more careful."
"Or she's gonna DIE and STAY DEAD!" My hands were burning, Xanthar trembled and I stamped down my flames before I ended up hurting him. Pyronica scowled, planted herself firmly in place and told me, "Then she dies."
I nearly blew up at her. It was a close thing. I don't fully know what things we ended up screaming at each other. I think Keyhole's room got thrashed. I don't know. I don't think I noticed. But I was upset, she was being stubborn, and everyone else was too afraid to get between us. I remember storming out of there, leaving the dimension itself and sulking off in the farthest dimension I could get to. I just didn't understand why this was happening. Pyronica loved her daughter. I know she did. So why?! Why?!
...as I had thought, Pynelope was dead.
And once she was, I tracked down everyone involved with her death and tore them apart limb from limb. After all, she wasn't here to tell me not to do that anymore. She wasn't here to tell me to let them go free. She was dead. And now, so were they.
I flicked the blood off my hands and felt… nothing.
My rage had burned up and I just felt empty inside.
I heard a wet sound and glanced down to see the water trailing down my bricks to land on the ground. The dripping mixed in with the blood pooling around me and I sat down on what was left of someone's torso to bury my face in my hands, uncaring for the blood I was smearing across myself. I sat there for a good long time, weeping and wondering why this had to happen.
"How're you holding up?" Pyrone asked as he laid on his couch with me in his arms. I hadn't gone home since Pynelope died. I couldn't face Pyronica. I couldn't be sure I wouldn't hurt her for what happened. So I ended up living with Pyrone. He found me at his door and took me in without question. I know he knew that his sister was dead. I heard him crying at night. But he didn't talk about it, and neither did I.
"I'm…" okay? Not okay? Fuck if I knew. The house was quiet. Most of his kids had grown up and left. Rince ended up joining the Federation as an Enforcer. I couldn't help but think she chose to do so just to spite me. It was fine, I couldn't bring myself to care.
I just felt so empty.
"Hey, do you two want to help make lunch?" Flora, bless her, asked quietly. She'd been an Ax-sent gift in these trying times. With me and Pyrone more or less being absolutely useless, she was keeping everything going. I couldn't keep doing this to her. I closed my eye and huffed before floating into the kitchen. "I would love to help make lunch. Thank you."
Time continued on. My stay stretched from a few days to a few weeks. And then months. Years. The rest of Pyrone's children grew up and moved out. It was just the three of us now.
I still hadn't spoken to Pyronica. Even when she came over to meet with her son and ask about how I was doing. I hid myself every time. I just couldn't face her.
Flora took over hunting for meat when Pyrone got too old to do so. Her strength was great as ever, even old as she was. They were both pretty independant people, didn't want to rely on me even as they began having trouble moving around. When Flora could no longer lift and yeet a dexicorn across the fields, they finally admitted it would be nice to have some help around the farm. Some of the kids came back to discuss who would inherit the farm. Their relatives got involved as well. I didn't like it. I didn't like how they were talking like the two were already dead. I knew that making a proper Will was a thing but I didn't like how they were doing it so soon. (I knew it wasn't soon, they were getting on in years, and this was important- but still!)
I took over the task of running the house while the kids cared for the farm. It was decided that Hilbert would get the farm, both because he was willing to stay and run it, and because he was good at it. I took care of Flora and Pyrone's needs when they simply couldn't anymore. I'd already done it with Quackers, it wasn't hard. I dreaded each day that passed. I couldn't help but hate Time Baby so much. The forward progression of age towards the end. I hated it so much.
"Hey Bill?" Pyrone asked me one night, "We get reincarnated after we die, right?"
"Yeah." I laid beside him on his pillow. Flora was already asleep, snoring loudly from her side of the bed. Pyrone hummed. "You know, I think I might like that."
"Oh?" I asked. He chuckled. "Yeah, I'd get a whole new family and life and everything… do you think I get to choose?"
"I could put in a word with Ax." He did seem willing to hear me out about more things. The 'headband' for him was coming along. The Pillar auto-pilot was a bit more difficult. I didn't know much about the Soul system. But he and I were working on it, slow though our progress was.
"I'd like to have a father." Pyrone mused. "Not that you're not great Bill, but it might be nice to have a father, like… one who didn't get eaten before I was born." I managed to laugh. "Yeah, that could be arranged. I think?" He seemed happy to hear that, drifting off to sleep peacefully. I could feel his time was coming. Flora's too. I knew I had to tell Pyronica. So she could see him one last time.
That was going to be so awkward...
My stupid self left her a text message. I didn't know what to say to her. So I just wrote [Pyrone's time is coming.] and left it at that. Which was awful! But I didn't know what else to say. I hid again when she came over. She knew I was there but she didn't say anything about it. I hated this. I missed home. I missed hanging out with everyone. But this wasn't something I was willing to confront. I still hadn't forgiven her (that was a lie, the one I couldn't forgive was myself.)
Still, his Time was coming. I couldn't stand it.
Pyronica was asleep in the other room, sleeping over for the night. I was awake. I had been without my false-dreamscape for years now. I didn't need to sleep. So there I was, beside Pyrone as I listened to his breathing. To his last breaths. I could tell. It was Time. Slowly, he stirred and opened his eye to blink at me. "You're still awake?" He murmured weakly.
"Yeah." I brushed his hair from his eye. "Can't sleep with all the snoring." He chuckled and laid there quietly for a while. "Hey Bill?"
"What's up?"
"I'm dying, aren't I?" He looked so calm saying that. I shook. "Y-yeah…"
"Hey, don't be like that. I'm gonna reincarnate, aren't I?" He reached out to brush a large hand across my side. "Just find me again. And even if you can't, I swear I'll find you." He smiled. "No matter who I end up becoming, I swear, we'll meet again~" He sang quietly. "Don't know where… don't know when…" Of course, he knew this song, I used to sing it to him and Pynelope when they were kids going off to school, it annoyed the fuck out of them. "Oh I… know… we'll… meet again…" His voice grew quietly as his strength left him.
"...some sunny day~" I finished, blinking back tears as I held his hand. The ice was melting. He felt so unnaturally warm.
"I love you." He told me. I trembled. "I love you too, my little Ice Pack."
And then he was gone.
And I felt something inside me break.
I found myself in the Space between Spaces. I didn't remember coming here. Also, the place was on fire. What was going on? Why was this place burning?
-You need to calm down-
Ah, Ax was here. "When did I get here?" I asked. I felt hot all over. Oh. It was because I was on fire. That made perfect sense. Wait, was that bad?
-I pulled you here. It wasn't safe- Ax frowned down at me. -You could have destroyed that farm- He slowly placed a hand on me, ignoring my flames. -You need to calm down- he repeated.
But I was calm. I was per~fectly fiiiiiine~ how silly of him to think I wasn't. Why, of course I was fine. Why wouldn't I be?
I should go show people just how fine I was.
Like Time Baby!
I'm sure he'd love to see just how amazingly FINE I was. How abso-fucking-lutely fine I was with his insistance that time had to go FORWARD and yank every mortal along with it.
-Bill, you need to calm down- Ax was brushing as my sides, patting out the flames.
"I AM CALM!" I shrieked before settling down. "Now please excuse me, I need to go and show Time Baby just how calm I am."
-I can't let you do that. Bill, please- He was waving off and putting out the other fires. I never knew the clouds up here could burn so well. Wait, did he say he couldn't let me do what I wanted?
There was a loud screaming sound that couldn't possibly have come from me. No way. But it was good that I didn't need to breath, just listening to that scream made me worry about whoever that must have been.
Ax held me tight in his arms. He wasn't the one screaming though. I wonder who was?
I don't know how long it took for me to come back to myself, but the fire had been put out, and Ax looked exhausted. I felt really bad about it. It led to me having another fit, crying and crying and unable to stop myself. Once I had gotten that out of my system, and calmed down enough to think clearly again (and Ax finally let me go), I left the Space between Spaces. Part of me was a little angry at dad because he stopped me from taking my despair out on Time Baby. But the other part of me was grateful for it. Frankly, I had to leave. I didn't want…
(I could overthrow dad if I tried...maybe… he was weak-)
...didn't want a confrontation…
I could feel my demonic instincts rearing up at his signs of weakness, and I didn't want to risk anything happening.
So I floated out in the void (far from Ax, far from Time Baby, far from anyone and everything ) in my Miz form, hoping that she would keep me stabilized somewhat. It was quiet. And dark. I'm too far from any stars to see them, even with my enhanced eyesight. I came out here, far from any prying eyes to get some 'me' time. I know my friends were probably worried. I knew Ax was worried. But I just needed to be alone. I was upset about… pretty much everything. I wanted to feel better. So I sang. My mouth moved as I sang and danced, silent and unseen in some distant corner of the galaxy.
"Put on a mask and don a false identity.~ I'm broken down into my core~" my mouth moved but there was no sound in space without the air to carry it. The music played in my head, a song only I could hear. I twirled and moved my body to a silent beat. "Blood dripping, head is splitting, Words are falling free. I can't take anymore~"
In the void of space I danced alone. I sang the lyrics that no one understood but me. A loneliness griped me. What's the point of this performance if no one could see it? But as I danced I couldn't help but feel better. Just a little bit. Music was my response to almost everything, I used to break out in song and dance constantly as a human. My sister would sing along to the songs she knew, we would be loud and obnoxious, laughing at how badly we mangled the lyrics. Sometimes she would just start singing out of nowhere and I would follow her lead.
I missed Zyun-Kei so much. I missed having someone who was so in synch with me that we sometimes broke out into the same song completely unscripted. I missed dancing stupidly with her and having mom join in because our whole family is just a bunch of spazzes. I missed laying in bed discussing deep philosophical topics at ungodly hours of the night with my sister before mom texted us to 'go to sleep'.
I missed my sisters. I missed my family. I missed my friends. I missed Will. I missed Quackers. I missed Pynelope and Pyrone. I missed my big brother.
I could feel my voice crack in my throat even if there was no sound to hear it. I choked and sobbed, my eyes burned as my tears boiled the second they formed. It upset me that they boil when it's so cold out here. I wanted to go home. But it doesn't exist here. Neither the flat world of shapes nor the 'real' world where I originated. I can't go back to either of them. I lost the Flatlands to a fire. I lost my first life to a fire as well. A stupid car accident explosion that shouldn't have happened.
I cried. I always seem to be crying. Just tears constantly at the drop of a hat. Crying is good. It's better to cry then to hold all your feelings in. I knew this. I understood this. So it's fine. I'll cry and then I'll feel better. It's fine. I'll feel better. I will. I will. It's fine.
At some point I wore myself out. I was dead tired from all this crying.
I did feel better. But I'm not any less sad.
Trying to not be sad simply turned my feelings into rage. Rage at Time Baby for making time go by so fast. Rage at Time itself for taking yet more loved ones away from me. I wanted to kill him. Kill Time Baby and tear apart all of the time stream. It wouldn't bring them back but it would certainly make me feel better.
I knew I couldn't let myself do that. I had to leave. Go far, far, away to somewhere I couldn't hurt Time Baby and ruin everything I've worked at for all these billions of years.
I found myself in front of my Exit door and out into the Void of Doors. Fuck it. I'm risking it. It's fine. I'm just going to visit Seb. I would go to Blue but…as much as I loved my brother, he doesn't 'get it'. He'd probably tell me to roll back time to get them back. Go against Time Baby because I was powerful enough to do so and I shouldn't be going along with Time Baby or Ax for things that were unfair. He'd probably tell me to overthrow Ax again. Or something. But I couldn't do that. I shook my head. Seb grew up human, he might… must understand. And it's not like I needed Seb to help me through this. I just… needed a place to hang out at and 'distract' myself until I stopped having this urge to destroy my dad and that bitch baby.
It would just be for a while… just until I got over this…
I turned over to where Seb's Door was and went in.
