"Welcome to the depths of this thick forest
What an unusual visitor you are
I'm sorry, but from this point forward you have to follow the etiquette of the forest
Hoo- Hoo- The owl tells
Hoo- Hoo- That a visitor has come
Hoo- Hoo- The owls tells of something that is about to start
Lau- Lau- What you wish to see
Lau- Lau- Depends on you
I'm sorry, but in this place you're an unwelcome guest
Hoo- Hoo- The owl tells
Hoo- Hoo- That a visitor has come
Hoo- Hoo- The owls tells of something that is about to start."
The Owl, by Kokia.
1st Arc: A Path of their Own
Chapter 11: At Square Zero
May 22nd, 1992. 10:24 PM.
(Koubuin Main House.)
[Native Takeru]
"Takeru… Takeru, wake up."
"Mmgh… Yawn…" I rub my eyes, feeling someone shake my shoulders. "…Maya-nee?"
"Are you awake, Takeru?" I blink a few times until I see everything clearly. I nod and rise up from where I was sleeping.
The car had stopped and it was really dark outside, Maya-nee was looking at me from outside the door. Getting out of the car, I saw that we were already on Yuuhi's house. It's really cold, what hour is it?
Maya-nee grabs my hand and takes me towards the door. There, a lot of samurai rangers were waiting for us. They looked at us and gave us a bow as we passed the big wooden gate.
"Col. Tsukuyomi, we heard the news." A man with two coffee-colored spiky horns of hair on the side of his head came towards us as we got closer to them. He was wearing the uniform of the samurai in a red that was stronger than the one Mana-nee uses. "Yohime-sama is waiting. This way, please." All of them bowed to him as they stood to a side to let us pass.
As we got to the door, I could see some of them gave me those same scary eyes Kazora-san made when we were back home. Maya-nee pulled me closer to her as we entered the house.
…What are they going to do now? Yohime-san said she was going to adopt me… but how will she do that? What about the rules?
I still feel really, really nervous about this… What if I'm not good at all and they send me to the orphanage? Dad… Mom… Will I ever go back to my house? I shiver and look down, thinking about how it will be to live with Kazora-san and the rest, about what may happen now. I gulp as I grab Maya-nee's hand tighter as we got to Yohime-san's room.
As we enter, I saw that Yohime-san and the other old woman that's always around Yuuhi were sitting on their usual spot.
"Welcome, please take a seat." Yohime-san said with a smile after we gave her a bow.
"Yohime-sama, if I may." Kazora-san didn't sat down like we did and took a step towards them. "I would like to have a word in private with you."
"There is no need, I believe I have made my wishes clear enough." She looked at Kazora-san as she stopped smiling.
"Even so, I must insist. Is this truly the best course of action, milady?"
"I believe Takahisa-sama already had a talk with you regarding this matter. When a samurai gives his word, he must see that his vow is never broken. And now, it falls to us to ensure his words are followed upon. I assumed you adhered to the honor code as well, Kazora-san. What is it that has you speaking against the wishes of both of your leaders?" I didn't knew Yohime-san could be so scary. She slowly moved some of her hair off her face, furrowing her brows at Kazora-san like how Maya-nee does when I get in a fight in school.
"…Nothing but worry towards the outcome of this decision. Shirogane is not ready to walk this path." He threw a gaze at me as he said that.
Why does he hate me that much? I didn't do anything to him… I look down, tightening my lips.
"In that case, you should banish all worry from you, Kazora-san. We will make sure Takeru is comfortable enough here. And you, as a servant of the Koubuin House, will undoubtedly do your best effort in aiding him to familiarize himself to his new lifestyle, I am sure." She again made that scary face as she rested her chin on her fingers. Kazora-san stood there for a second, then bowed to her and sat down by Maya-nee's side. "Now then, Takeru?"
"Yes?"
"Considering Kazora-san's fair placed worries… Allow me to ask you one last time. Do you truly wish me to adopt you?"
"…If you don't, I'll end up in an orphanage, right?" She nods. "Then, yes, I do. I promise I'll do my best from now." I couldn't keep my hands quiet as I spoke. I will do my best, but what if I'm still not good enough?
"I see." She then smiled as sweetly as she always does. "Worry not, Takeru. From now on you're one of us. Now then, allow me to first give you an explanation of what you'll have to do from now on. Chamberlain, the papers please."
The other old woman came towards us with some papers. Yohime-san explained to me that people can't just adopt a child because they want to, the rules say the child has to also agree. That's why there's a lot of rules in what the new parents have to do to adopt a kid, just like Uncle Koetsu said, to prevent bad people from ever taking a child with them.
They told me all I had to do was know that Takahisa-san had prepared some papers before he and Dad left with the other samurai, and that when tomorrow someone from the care services would come to talk with me all I had to do was say I wanted to stay here. Yohime-san said she would take care of all the bureaucracy, whatever that is, and then she explained to me what I had to do from now on.
"So I can't go back to my school?"
"No Takeru, you cannot. For the following months, you'll be home schooled here."
"But what about my tests? Or my friends? Can I still go visit them?"
"Hmm… Well, I suppose we could allow you to visit your friends from time to time. However, from now on you'll have to study here. Once we see how good you are and which role we'll bestow you with, we'll assign you to a school after summer vacation."
"I don't get it, what's this about a role?"
"It means you'll be studying in a special school designed to prepare you for your job." Maya-nee said.
"Exactly as Maya said." Yohime-san nodded. "I believe I did tell you that you would become a public servant if you chose to be one of us, did I not?"
"Oh, right. Um… What is a public servant?"
"Someone who serves the Empire. Think of police officers, doctors and teachers." Yohime-san again smiled, entwining her fingers together. "It means you will have to work for the good of this nation. Whether it is in a public role or as a member of one of our businesses will be decided after this next months."
"So… After you see how smart I am, you'll tell me what it is that I can do?" She nods.
"Precisely. That being said, I suppose… Did you wish to become a Royal Guard in image of your father?"
"Yohime-sama, if I may, I believe Takeru shouldn't-"
"Maya, stand down. This is something Takeru has to decide on his own." Why are they getting so upset?
"Milady, forgive the rudeness, however I do not think it wise to offer Takeru such a position. You should know he is nowhere near the same skill of Mion and Shion." Maya-nee sounded weird, as if she had to run back from the super with a lot of heavy bags because it had started to rain.
"They are a year older than him, so I do not find the comparison fair. Regardless, you shall continue to monitor his performance in these days to come."
"The training he'll need to become a Royal Guard is one too harsh for him. Takeru isn't-" I pulled Maya-nee's sleeve and she stopped.
"Maya-nee, I want to be a samurai just like Dad. Why do you not want me to?" She closed her eyes for a second, she then tapped her glasses as her face relaxed again.
"I am merely worried about you. No one receives special treatment here, no one will wait for you to catch up. I don't think you're ready."
"But if Dad became a samurai, why can't I?" Her lips moved weirdly for a second again.
"…Being a samurai is not an easy work, Takeru. Are you certain you wish to train to join the Royal Guard?"
…I really don't know. I mean, I know Mion and Shion are smarter and stronger than me. So that means I'll have to study a lot, and a lot of math and history too. But… But Dad could do it, so I can too. And if they give me another of those roles I might not be able to be with Maya-nee anymore… And I don't want that. So… I just have to do my best! I pluck my lips as I give a nod, arching my brows. Maya-nee remains staring at me for a second until she also nods at me, Kazora-san was now giving me an even nastier look. I tensed my stomach at his glare, but refused to look down this time.
"Well, I believe Takeru has made himself clear." Yohime-san said, smiling again. "Now then, it is late already. Maya, take Takeru to his room. He'll have to rise early tomorrow for both this paperwork and his first lessons to adapt to his new home. Takeru, please do rest assured. You're safe with us now." Her eyes softened up as she slightly tilted her head, it somehow… reminds me of Mom's gaze.
I nod and Maya-nee got up, helping me up as well. Kazora-san stayed behind though. After we gave Yohime-san a bow, we got out of the room and one of the samurai rangers in gray leaded us to what was going to be my room from now on.
Still… Yuuhi's house is really big. If I have to live here now I'm gonna get lost. Did Dad spent his days in a place like this? How was it for him, to be a samurai ranger? He never told me anything about that. Did the others look at Dad with those same scary eyes?
Dad… How did you become a samurai? Why did you lose, if all of you were together? Again feeling as if I had slugs crawling on me, but that were slowly poking me with some needles as they did, I feel my chest get all cold and tensed up, as if I had ran a lot. It's like that poem said, like a fruit of a tree wildly slashed by the wind, falling and rolling away from it's roots. I feel like that, like an apple that fell to the street and got crushed by a car.
After walking a lot, we arrive at what they called the dorm area. Though, the place still looks like rest of the house, just with more doors on the sides. It's not like my house, the walls and doors look really thin. My house… will I ever go back there? What about my stuff?
"The third room down this hallway shall be Shirogane's room from now on." The gray samurai that was coming with us said. "The few belongings he brought with him should already be there. I shall be taking my leave here." She gives us a small nod, turning around.
"Well, let's go Takeru." Maya-nee pulls me and we go to my new room.
We slid the door open and enter. It's a bit smaller than my room, there's a futon instead of a bed, a small window in front of us, and a wardrobe like the one back home. The small bag I brought was left on the floor near a wall.
Maya-nee helped me put my clothes in place, and, after getting in my pajamas, she sat on the floor by my side as I got inside the futon. She looks kinda sad, her brows are all tense and wrinkly.
"Maya-nee… Will everything really be alright?" She pats my head softly as her face relaxes.
"Yes, everything will be fine Takeru. However, do you truly wish to follow in your father's footsteps?"
"Is being a samurai that scary?"
"Well… It is a harsh work. You'll have to follow the rules closely and mind your manners, but above all you'll have to shoulder many responsibilities. You will have to study much if you wish to stay here, but even more if you wish to become a Royal Guard. Also, you should start using that term instead of samurai rangers."
"…Maya-nee, did Dad also have to do the same to become a samurai?"
"I suppose so."
"And…" I grip the edges of the sheets, pursing my lips a bit. "We are gonna be alright? The monsters… aren't coming here soon?"
"Don't worry, we're safe here Takeru. Takahisa-sama and his fellows fought bravely so that we can be at ease now."
"…Is Dad really gone then?" She ruffles my hair slowly as she sighs.
"Yes, that is the case. But don't be scared, no matter what path you're made to follow I'll be keeping an eye on you from my position. Now, try to sleep as much as you can. I'll come for you in the morning."
"You can't stay with me until I fall asleep?" She shakes her head.
"I have to go back to my own room and rearrange my belongings as well. Do not worry, you're safe here." She stood up, went to the door and flicked the light switch. "Good night, Takeru."
"…Yes, good night."
As Maya-nee left, I looked at the window from where I was. I can't see much from here, but some light enters from there.
…What will happen from now on? I wonder how hard these new classes will be… Dad, did you also have to go through this? I roll to a side, hugging myself. I inhale slowly through my nose. I can't be scared, everything will be fine… Maya-nee is here, Yohime-san was nice too.
Despite having heard their words and seeing they were saying the truth, some tears still come out. Dad is gone… Just like Mom. Can I do it, Dad? Sniff… What will happen if I fail all the tests?
I cough a few times as if a cloud of dust covered me. Mulling over what may happen as I slowly cried a bit, remembering both Dad's letter and Kazora-san's yells as I rustled under the sheets, I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep.
Next Day. Near 10 AM.
(Guest's Room.)
Maya-nee came to wake me up really early today, then she took me to have s light breakfast with just the two of us. After that she took me to a room that looked like an office, and there we waited for a while. The people from the social offices asked me a lot of questions but in the end everything was fine. Yohime-san had to sign a lot of papers, but she told me not to worry.
She told me that I would keep my last name, something about how nobles can't just adopt common people out of the blue or something. According to her, since Dad was their fellow, whatever that means, I now was also a fellow of them. I don't really understand it well, but it must be like with Uncle Koetsu. People you like become almost like family or something.
After that, Yohime-san said it was time to arrange some important matters and, after giving her a bow as usual, she left the room. ,e and Maya-nee went to another room to meet someone else now, someone who Yohime-san said would help with these 'important matters'.
"Is this about something bad, Maya-nee?"
"Nothing of the sort. Someone else has come to meet us, is all."
"Who?"
"I wasn't told. Let us make haste, you have to start your preliminary classes today after all." I narrowed my eyes at her as we picked up our pace, Maya-nee also doesn't seem to know this time.
Reaching the new office, Maya-nee opens the door and we enter. Inside of the room, I see a pair of light blue eyes and a small smile as I step in. Sitting on a chair on the right side of a table, the person in question nodded my way after Maya-nee closed the door and came to our side, giving us a bow.
"Good morning, Tsukuyomi. As punctual as ever."
"…Yoroi-san. Are you the one who has come to speak with us?"
"Yes, that's right. Yohime-sama asked me to… gather some intel regarding the little boy. Do not worry, I am not going to be pressuring him much." I peeked from behind Maya-nee, staring at the smile of the woman. She's weird, everybody else is really stiff when talking with Maya-nee but she's really calm now.
"Well, let's start." Maya-nee moves to down as the woman also returned to her chair, taking me to sit on her right. Then, after tapping her glasses, she looks at me as she signals to the woman as she also sits down"Takeru, this is Yoroi-san. She has some questions to ask you so be honest with her." Yoroi-san gave me a smile and a nod, I arched my brows slightly as I looked at her.
"Good morning, Shirogane. I am Koume Yoroi, it is good to meet you." Her short cut cyan hair slowly moved, letting the lone, long strand of hair on her left side to dangle down her shoulder. Wearing a business attire similar to those people that appear on TV but in pale blue, the rather petite woman smiled as she looked at me.
"Good morning, Koume-san. But my name is Takeru, don't call me Shirogane." She giggled at me, I puffed my cheeks a bit. What's with her?
"I was told of this preference of yours… It is intriguing, to think you'd allow this, Tsukuyomi."
"Sigh… I have tried to mend his rudeness, alas he refuses to change his ways." I pluck my lips at Maya-nee as she again curves her brows as she gives me a glance.
"So… What did you want to talk about, Koume-san?" I look back at Yoroi-san, who again smiled at me while she giggled.
"Don't worry, I'm merely going to inquire about your life for a moment."
"…Okay. So, are you a samurai too?"
"Samurai?"
"Takeru refers to the Royal Guards with that word."
"Oh, I see. Sadly, I am not a samurai. I am… someone more suited to work in the backrow."
"Backrow? Like the pieces of Shogi?"
"Ahaha… Well, something of the sort. I am good at… catching people by surprise." Yoroi-san caressed the lone strand of hair, something making her slightly close her eyes.
Maya-nee now looked rather serious, a hand on her chin. It's really weird, she's usually so cold but this time she is keeping quiet. Who is Koume-san? What does she do in the 'backrow'?
"Well, as I said before, I came here to ask you some questions, Takeru." Koume-san leaned onto the table, locking her fingers together. "First, allow me to ask, would you be interested in going to live with your grandparents?"
Eh? They… But they said that… I opened my eyes and remained quiet for a moment as I looked down.
"But… But Uncle Koetsu said they didn't want to be with me."
"Yes, that was the case. However, it seems they somehow found out about… your father having joined the Royal Guard." Koume-san narrowed her eyes, twisting the edge of her lips inwards.
Maya-nee's nose got full of wrinkles for a second. I don't get it, what has that to do with anything? If they still were mean to Dad and Mom, if they didn't want to even see me…
"So, due to the new laws passed some years ago, you can refuse to go with your family now that they refused to take you in before. However, the decision is yours. What would you like to do?" Koume-san asked, tilting her head.
"No, I'm staying here." I then hugged Maya-nee's arm, really tightly. She moved a bit, somehow surprised at my fast reply.
"I see… Well, that's it with that, I guess." Koume-san leaned back into her seat, sighing. Maya-nee looked at me, but said nothing and then looked at Koume-san.
"Ahem… Yoroi-san, what other matters did you wish to discuss?"
"Let's see… There are some questions I wanted to ask you two, regarding Takeru's acquaintances."
She then asked us of who we were friends with on Hiiragi, so that she could explain my situation to them and the school once I get 'officially' adopted.
"Yoroi-san, might I propose a suggestion?" Maya-nee said as I finished telling Koume-san of my last week back home.
"Hm? What is it?"
"Would it be possible to place Takeru under the training program of the Tsukuyomi House, reporting it as an early induction due to his circumstances?"
Huh? Training… as part of her house? As if… we really were family?
"…Why do you wish to do so, Tsukuyomi?"
"Considering our… losses from a few years back, the Tsukuyomi House has been looking for recruits to train as guardians for our Security Forces." Losses? Did they also fight the monsters some years ago? "If Takeru were inducted, it wouldn't be far off for him to be appointed to our House as our protegee. This would also allow him to retain his surname without arising suspicions, which would make your work easier, would it not? I do recall this being the methodology used for the sons and daughters of our Tozama fellows that also perished alongside Takahisa-sama, so that they could try to inherit their birthright."
"Maya-nee, didn't Yohime-san said she was going to adopt me? That I was one of you already?"
"Yes, that is the case. However, we must present the papers in the right way to not cause her unnecessary trouble, Takeru."
"…I don't get it. Will I be part of your family then?" I grab her arm a bit tighter, feeling a few feathers tickle my sides when she gives me a faint nod.
"Well… It is a possibility that's available to us, is all I'm saying." She taps her glasses and closes her eyes.
"Ahaha, worry not." Yoroi-san waved a hand as if she were one of those small cat toys that seem to bring good luck, directing a nod to Maya-nee. "We will take care of this, Takeru. So Tsukuyomi, may I hear your thoughts on this matter?" Maya-nee nods and lets some air out.
"Perhaps, this whole affair should instead be filed as an early induction without any sort of hidden meanings. His father having perished under service to our House and his family refusing to take custody of Takeru, instead of being sent to an orphanage the House offers to take care of him under our own training program, since he is the son of one of our fellows. That is not unheard of, albeit rare. Even more so for a commoner. But I believe it would be the best course of action, to not burden Yohime-sama or your fellows."
"Maya-nee, wasn't Yohime-san the one who was going to adopt me?"
"Yes, but in this way, instead of falling under her direct care, you'll fall onto ours. It might not seem too different from your eyes, but it is easier to manage the papers for us if we do so in this way. Are you… against it, perhaps?"
"Of course not! I'd love to be part of your family." I hug her arm really tight. "But why is it easier? Is Yohime-san in trouble?"
"No, she is not. But… Let's simply say it is easier to justify you becoming a samurai if you join the Tsukuyomi House." I still don't get it, but I'm really, really happy. So I'll be really part of her family from now on… I feel my chest flaring up, like when her or Dad praised my test scores, the cold slugs all over me running away, leaving only the feathers around.
"This would mean we still need to report his stay here as him being a recruit after the papers are filed." Koume-san said as she looked at some papers she had on her. "Should we present this as an induction? Are you certain he will meet the requirements to be inducted into the Royal Guard?"
"…Takeru made his voice clear as the sky. You can speak with Father if you wish to hear his opinion on the matter. In any case, it would be less troublesome for us if we presented the matter in this way, provided Takeru does manage to meet the expectations desired of a Royal Guard trainee."
"I am going to!" I puffs my cheeks as I tug at her arm. Maya-nee sighs again as she looks at me. Now that I know that we're really gonna be together with the pickles… I have to do my bestest best of an effort.
"In any case, Takeru, is there anything you would like to bring from your house, in Hiiragi with you here?" Koume-san asks as she rests her chin on a hand.
"Hmm… My book about poetry, some of my toys, and a picture of Mom and Dad. By the way, am I going to visit my home soon? Can I see my friends over there?"
"…After you finish your tests." She smiles slowly, the softness of a spring breeze reflected in her words. "Now then, allow me to inquire about your studies in your past school. How has he been faring so far?"
We tell her of my daily routine back home in detail along the last tests I took. Koume-san doesn't seem to be a bad person, she doesn't have those scary eyes or that harsh tone in her voice.
"I see… So, he seemed to be improving on his last month, huh?"
"I'm always doing my best." I puffs my chest and then Koume-san giggles at me. She then asks me about our Kendo lessons, and I tell her of the stances Maya-nee taught me and what we did when I came to the dojo here.
"It is good to see he has confidence in himself. It is such a shame we don't have any free time…" She looked down, almost closing her eyes, looking as sad as a dog looking at an empty bowl.
"Hm? Is something the matter, Yoroi-san?"
"Oh, nothing much. You know, my husband always wanted to have a boy…" She smiled wryly, running a hand over her hair as she looked down.
"Do you have kids, Koume-san?" Maybe we could be friends if she does. Her smile waned, her hand seemed to slightly tighten it's hold over her hair.
"Well, yes. But regardless of that, I have one last question for you, Takeru. If you don't manage to become a Royal Guard, which path will you-"
"I will become a samurai." I narrowed his brows at her, letting my tone be like Maya-nee when she gets upset. How was it that the book said? A small pebble soon to become an avalanche tumbling down if she says I won't, that's how I tried to sound.
"…I see. I do wish you good luck, Takeru." But she smiled back, not intimidated at all. Maybe I should have tapped my brows like Maya-nee does with her glasses… That always work with the bullies back at school. "Tsukuyomi, I'll come to meet with you once his test is finished and the papers are properly arranged. I will be contacting you for advice on how to file this induction if it happens. However, I do not know whether I will come back to bring the papers, so do expect my husband to come deliver them." Husband? I wonder what kind of person he is. Maya-nee… tensed her brows and lips. She doesn't like him.
"…Is there no way you can deliver them yourself, Yoroi-san?"
"My, Tsukuyomi. It sounds as if you didn't want to meet Sakon for some reason." Her smiled curved like a moon, giggling for a while.
"I merely have trouble dealing with him." Maya-nee taps her glasses, sending a sharp gaze at Koume-san.
"I do know he can be hard to understand from time to time, but please be patient with him. Well, I have to be going. Takeru, good luck in your trainings." Yoroi-san came closer and offered me a hand. I softly grabbed it and then shook it with my usual spirit.
"Yes, thank you. See you later, Koume-san."
"See you later to you too. Tsukuyomi, we shall be seeing each other in due time." She gives us a bow and then we exit the room.
Yoroi-san goes into the hallway to our left, towards the gate, while Maya-nee took me to another hallway.
"…Maya-nee." I pull her sleeve as we walked.
"What is it?"
"What is this about papers? Is it really that much work?"
"We need to present the right papers to send you to your new school, regardless of whether you become a Royal Guard trainee or not."
"Okay. So, why did Koume-san come to ask me so many questions? What is that backrow she said she was."
"Do not worry about those matters, Takeru." Mmgh… She closed her eyes and looked forward, making her fringe move a bit. "We told you before, this is to properly explain your past school of your situation. We have to follow the regulations, otherwise this will only cause us trouble."
"Hmm… I see."
"In any case, there is something I want to ask you." I looks up at her, unlike how she usually is Maya-nee delayed her answer for a second. "Are you certain you do not wish to meet your grandparents? You might never get another chance to do so."
"…They weren't there for Mom and Dad, so I don't want to see them." I tightened my hold on her hand as I puffed one of my cheeks. "And I'm with you now, so I'm not sad anymore." Relaxing a bit, I leaned on her arm. Smiling as we walked, I slowly took some breaths. Maya-nee seemed to be smiling a bit, until she realized I was looking at her.
"…In any case let us make haste to your classroom. We have to give you the customary explanation."
"I see. Say Maya-nee, am I really gonna be part of your family if I become a Royal Guard?"
"It isn't that you'll be part of the family, but that you will be trained by us. You can say you'll formally be recognized as our protegee, just like how you were these two years."
"…I don't get it."
"Well, don't worry. You simply focus on what you can do now. Let us make haste, your classes should start soon." I nod and we start walking a bit faster.
We reach the room in question, where Yohime-san said Maya-nee would explain to me how I should behave and how things were in her house, the rules I would have to follow now that I'm their fellow.
"Takeru, it is imperative that you start speaking in a proper manner from now on." And Maya-nee has been bugging me about how I speak for about half an hour now.
"But I'm not rude. I'm just trying to be friendly."
"Even so, you must mind your manners when speaking with others here. Now then, let's do this again."
Yohime-san said she thought it was for the best to tell me this now before giving me a small tour around the house. Maya-nee kept telling me I had to stop being so contrarian and rude for some more minutes.
She then guided me around the house, showing me where the baths were, where the dining room was, how to get to the backyard and garden, reminding me I couldn't play or break anything here now, and then we returned to the room we'll use as a classroom.
"Well then, Takeru. I have to attend to some matters, so I will leave you with the professors here. Do behave as you should."
"I know." She then pats my head before leaving. I sit where the books were put on a table, an old woman dressed similarly to Maya-nee was coming closer to where I was.
I wonder how this will go… But I have to pass these tests too. I coil my fists for a second, breathing deeply. Remembering Mom and Dad for a second, pursing my lips really hard, I opened my eyes and looked at my new teacher.
"Well… I shall be your teacher in math and arithmetic for this coming months. Shirogane, how far were you in your classes?" She seems nice, at the least. But, she does teach math.
"Um… We were doing stuff with fractions and some graphs."
"Can you show me?" I open a notebook and start making one of the last problems from the last test. The teacher grasps her chin, her eyes growing smaller. "I see, it seems you're far behind than what I expected. What are they doing in the commoner's schools anymore…"
"So, what are we going to be doing today Sensei?"
"Do you know what the words sine, cosine and tangent mean, Shirogane?"
"No."
"Well… Looks like this will be a tall ordeal. Open that red textbook on page thirty four."
One very long, and painful, math class later…
"I suppose this is all we can do for today. I recommend you practice on your free time."
"…Yes."
I hate this. What is this even? We were making some stuff with one or two letters back in school, to try to see what number X was, but this is nuts. I wanna dive under a pillow and cry, these problems are too hard! Who even thought about this?! Stupid math, stupid equations…
"Ahem…" The teacher grabbed her books under her arm, looking at me. "I know this might be too hard for you, Shirogane. However, let me tell you that this wasn't what the other young heirs are seeing. You're still far behind them, so if you wish to become a Royal Guard you'd do well in polishing your knowledge." At least she had patience with me, unlike the teachers back in school. Yeah, she wasn't a scary teacher.
"Yes, Sensei. Um… Why does everything have to do with math?" She narrowed her eyes a bit.
"Well, most, if not all, of our endeavors are reliant on mathematical operations. Let me give you an example you'll understand, when you go to buy groceries you need to know how much money you can spend, do you not?"
"Yes, that's right."
"Then, when you buy clothes, books, silverware, you also must know how much they cost to see whether you can afford them." I nod. "You also need to know how much of a certain ingredient you use when cooking as well, am I right?" I nod again. "So as you can see, numbers surround our everyday life. And to make sure everything regarding this House is kept functioning we need to have our numbers polished. Once you learn more, you'll see how important it is to be well versed in math. I was not told about your situation in much detail, but you'd do well in doing an earnest effort to bridge this gap in knowledge you're facing."
"So I just gotta study hard, right?"
"No, just reading won't be enough. You need to properly gain the knowledge you study. You shall need to practice much to properly apprehend these concepts. Let's see how you progress these next days first, however. Well then, I shall take my leave here."
"Okay… Um, thank you very much for your help, Sensei." I give her a bow like how Maya-nee taught me to. She briefly smiles before saying her goodbyes and leaving.
Is Maya-nee coming now? I'm kinda hungry… Two hours of math, this was a lot. Did Dad also had to do this when he became a samurai? How did he learn all of this?
…And despite knowing this hard stuff, they still lost. What went wrong? Dad… wouldn't break a promise so easily. I wonder if I could learn how to always win if I'm good at math.
…But studying alone is really hard. Will my classmates be nice? Or, will they be like Kazora-san? I wonder how they manage to understand all these things… Imagine Sumika trying to solve this. Jouji would rip the paper in half as he screams or something!
"…How are they now?" Did Sumika try to visit me? How will they be when they find out I'm not going back?
…They won't forget about me, right? We're still going to be friends, right? I rest onto the desk, burying my face into my arms.
After a short while, another teacher came into the room. This one was a short man who was wearing glasses and a black suit with a tie like those people that sometimes appear on TV giving those really long speeches that Maya-nee hates. I stood up and gave him a bow, he nodded at me.
"Good afternoon, Shirogane. I will be your teacher in your classes of Civic Education."
"Civic… What is that?"
"You never had Civic Ed classes before? Were you never taught how the Parliament works, about our laws and such?" The man tapped his glasses and his voice sounded as if he was trying to scare away a stray dog.
"Hmm… Do you mean Social Studies maybe?" The man furrowed his brows and then asked me to tell him what I knew of that. He didn't seem very happy about it.
"Sigh… What have I done to be put on this position, Yohime-sama…"
"What's wrong, Sensei?"
"…Nothing. Open that cyan book, we'll have to start from the beginning. I hope you behave as you should, we have much to cover it seems."
"Um, can I get something to drink? I didn't have a break during math class."
"No, you'll get your break after this class is done with." Eh?! But… How long will this class be? What if it's another two hours? "Now then, let's start."
Same Day. Around 6 PM.
(Hallway.)
"It was really hard! They only gave me twenty minutes to rest too."
"I did tell you the regime was going to be severe." Maya-nee said as we went to the dojo. "What did you think of your classes?"
"I hadn't seen anything of what they showed me today. It's all really hard to understand."
"…If you do not wish to continue under this course, you can simply say so Takeru. You don't have to force yourself if this is too much for you."
"But then I won't become a samurai. It's really hard… But I'll do my best!" Maya-nee looks at me for a moment as she stops, then she sighs.
"You do not need to force yourself. The same applies for the lessons in the dojo. Don't push yourself needlessly, Takeru."
"I'll be fine. I won't give up." Dad told me to do my best so I can't get down so easily. And… if I give up, I may end up alone.
I don't want that to happen, not when I might really be a part of your family from now on. I would like to talk with Sumika and the rest… I don't want to stop being friends with them… But… I guess I just gotta study until I pass these tests, and then I can call them or something.
Once we arrive at the dojo and enter, I see Mion and Shion were already here. Kazora-san was here too, he came towards us as we entered.
"Welcome. Maya, the girls are ready to train. I shall leave them under your guidance."
"Huh? What about Takeru, Father?"
"I shall look over his efforts myself." He said as he gave me another of those scary looks.
"Father, I am Takeru's-"
"Not anymore, Maya. You're no longer a retainer of his now that he has joined us. He's but another servant, and no one deserves special treatment. Shirogane, you'll come with me to the other end of the dojo after you've changed into the gear. Maya, I leave the little ones to you."
Maya-nee pursed her lips as she looked at her Dad, she then looked at me for a while and then gave a nod.
"Takeru, do as Father says. No getting angry."
"I know, Maya-nee." I puff my cheeks, you always tell me the same whenever we come here.
I go to the changing room with Maya-nee and she helps me get in the armor. Once we get out, she goes to the pickles as they begin to practice. I go towards Kazora-san, who was already in the armor too.
"So… What are we going to do, Kazora-san?"
"It's Tsukuyomi-sensei for you, Shirogane. How many times do I have to tell you?"
"But your name is Kazora… If I called all of you Tsukuyomi you won't know who I'm talking to."
"Shirogane, I believe you were told you had to cease this habit of speaking back you have. You shall refer to me as Tsukuyomi-sensei while we're here. Now, take your stance." He took some steps away, getting his pose done.
What did I do to him? Why does he hate me so much? Back home too, he was awful to me and Maya-nee. He's horrible, I don't like him. I take the pose Maya-nee always taught me to use.
"Are you ready, Shirogane?"
"Yes!" I said as I tensed my feet to charge forward.
He blocked my attacks without problem, even when I took that step back Maya-nee told me to do sometimes. He advances and does two swings, I manage to block them somehow. He keeps advancing, doing just a few swings. I keep going back and back, I can't stop him. He then lowered his sword and did a rising slash at me, sending my sword away like Maya-nee always does. I again end up sitting on the floor.
"…So this is all you can do? You think you can become a Royal Guard with this meager skill?"
"I just have to keep practicing!" I say as I stand up and go look for my sword. I return to face him, taking my pose again.
"That won't be enough. Mere effort cannot bridge the lack of talent."
"Then… Then I'll keep doing my best."
"Sigh… Shirogane, perhaps you don't realize it yet, but you don't have the time."
"Huh? Time? Why do I need a watch to be a samurai?" He shook his head again.
"No, I was not speaking about a watch." His tone sounded like Maya-nee when she scolds me. He relaxes his pose, bringing his sword to one of his shoulders. "You see, you have until the end of June to show us where your talents lie. If by then you're not deemed worthy, you shall be sent to a school where you can hone whatever skill you possess. So, if that happens, you'll never become a Royal Guard."
"Eh?! But… But that's just a month away!"
"Precisely. I suggest you give up on this futile dream of yours. I can see you're nowhere near the skill necessary to become a Guard from this one bout. It would be more productive for you to focus on learning something that is in alignment with your natural talents, something that will aid you more in the future. As is, you're just wasting our time here." Again, his tone got all serious and cold.
…I know that I'm not that good. But I wanna fight like Dad, I want to be like him. And… And I don't want to leave either, I want to stay with Maya-nee and the pickles. I'm not going to give up just because you tell me to, dummy old man. I puff my cheeks, taking my pose again and pointing my sword at him. He shakes his head and takes a different pose now, similar to the one Maya-nee showed me once with the sword above the shoulder.
This time, he attacked faster than before. It was like when Shion is on a bad mood. I'm just holding my blade tightly and planting my heels firmly on the ground, trying to parry his attacks. Even if he only attacks a few times, it's really hard to counter him. But… If he's like Shion… He'll take the step back in just a while! I just gotta wait until then… I just gotta look really well at how he moves, until he has to take that step back.
Then, as I watched his attacks while barely parrying them, I saw that he was moving for a downwards swing. I parried it, almost tripping backwards, then he took the step back when I tried to push back. But I could tell he was going to and pushed forward, taking one step and swinging my sword at him. But then…
SWISH!
He reacted super fast and sent my sword flying again, making me fall backwards.
"Hmph… You fell right into my trap. You can't even tell when an opponent is baiting you."
I stared back at him, frowning. I did my best… It's not my fault you're already so good… You're not like Maya-nee, you're just beating me up. You're no different than the school bullies.
"Father, I do not think this will bear any fruits." Maya-nee got closer and helped me get up. "Takeru, are you unhurt?"
"…Yeah, I'm fine."
"Father, this is not what you were supposed to do. He's learning nothing from this."
"He's learning how much skill he lacks. I am the one who'll oversee his training for this month. Stand back, Maya. Shirogane, go pick up your sword."
"Father, please. What do you-"
"Maya, Mion and Shion are waiting. Leave him to me, that's an order. Do not forget, I am the Head of the Tsukuyomi House as of now. My orders are absolute." He sounded really scary, Maya-nee gave me one look and went back to the other two, that were also looking towards us. But they didn't say anything.
"Shirogane, waste no more time and go for your sword!" Why do you scream at me? I didn't… You're…
"You're… You're…"
"What? Speak up, kid. I cannot hear you. What is it?!"
"You're just a bully! You're not teaching me anything!"
"Oho, so that's what you think. Clearly, you are not made to be a Guard."
"Why are you so mean? Were you like this with Dad too?!" His hand moved weirdly for a second. He looked upwards, his sword again on his shoulder.
"…You're as uneducated as him, as well. Do you think that you'll become a good Royal Guard by shouting in this manner? Or, have you given up on the practice?"
"Uuh… I'm not giving up!"
"Then, go for your sword. I want no more whining from you until you can assess a hit at me!"
I bit my lips as I went for my sword. I took my pose once I got back and attacked him again.
…
In the end, I couldn't hit him once. He kept winning in no time, sending me to the ground and my sword away. He said I was never going to be a samurai, that I wasn't good enough. I'll show you that I can be a samurai too… I'm gonna beat you one of this days, just like how I beat the bad boys in school.
"Well Maya, take the girls to the dining room." Kazora-san said as I remained hunched over, my mouth open as I gasped for air.
"…What about Takeru, Father? Surely you are not planning to continue to practice with how exhausted he is."
"Perish the thought." He said as he again looked my way, removing his helmet and letting me see his furrowed brows. "I merely wish to have a small talk with him, regarding his efforts from now on. On your way, you three. We shall join you in a moment."
Maya-nee and the pickles looked at me for a second, but then they bowed to Kazora-san and went into their changing room. I took off my helmet and sighed as I removed the cloth of my head, wiping the sweat of my forehead. I walked towards my changing room, with Kazora-san following behind. Entering the room, I sat on a chair and started to try to take off the armor.
"Allow me to aid you in getting off your gear, Shirogane." He got closer and helped me take off the shoulder gear, and removed the lock so that I could also take the chest protection without much trouble.
"…Thanks, Kazora-san."
"It's Tsukuyomi-sensei, Shirogane." He said, groaning a bit, as he started to take off his gear too.
"Why are you always so mean with me? What did I do to you?"
"I am not being hostile to you because I enjoy it. If you wish to become a Royal Guard, you need to learn to hoist our values, to follow our code. And if you cannot show a sliver of respect towards your tutors, you will never become a samurai." His eyes grew smaller, sharper and scary, his tone was even rougher than before.
"…Then, what do I have to do to get better?"
"It's not a matter of being 'better' or 'worse'. There are signs in your conduct that show you are not fit to walk this path."
"What? If you don't tell me what I do wrong I'll never get better. Aren't you supposed to be my teacher?"
"…And yet, you refuse to even refer to me as one." He shook his head, sighing really, really heavily. Like when me and Maya-nee made it out of the super during the days with discounts. "However, you bring up a fair point. Let us discuss my impressions of today's training before dinner."
Having finished changing into my clothes, we both got out of the changing room. Kazora-san told Maya-nee to go ahead again, I waved at the pickles as they left. All three of them were looking at Kazora-san like how I look at Jouji after he gets in trouble, or when he falls down the games at the park.
I sat on the floor with Kazora-san in front of me, he twirled his mustache for a while as he groaned. I rub my arms, they hurt a little after training so much. Are all of them that good? Were they always holding back on me? How did Dad…
"Um… Kazora-san?"
"What is it?"
"Do you know how… how was Dad's life when he was a samurai?"
He looks down, the hand that was on his mustache going to his chin. Letting both of his hands rest on his lap, he closes his eyes.
"Your father… Kageyuki Shirogane was a rather… unorthodox member of our Guards."
"What does unorthodox mean?"
"…That he did not match what was expected of a Royal Guard, even less a member of our private squadron. Your father was very much like you, despite his efforts he could not show the proper respect to the authorities."
"He also called you Kazora-san?"
"No, he wasn't as rude as you."
What's with him? Why does he have to give me that nasty stare, his eyes narrowed and sounding like those grumpy old teachers back at school. I was never mean to you, why are you like this to me?
"However, one could not deny that he was skilled. Your father was a very hardworking person, and he was as honest as a fellow can be. For that reason, he was allowed to join our ranks and become our fellow."
"And did he also have to learn all this complicated stuff to be a samurai?"
"Royal Guard is the proper term, Shirogane." He crosses his arms, lowering his brows again. "…In any case, yes, he also had to partake in many trials to demonstrate his abilities. And even before his induction, he had to train very harshly to become a soldier."
"…Was he strong?"
"Yes. Even if 'strength' is not the most appropriate word to describe it, he was a very skilled soldier, in and out of the battlefield. Despite his fruitless efforts to learn Keigo and poise, he was indeed a fine Royal Guard."
"Then… W-Why did he lose?"
…
"Sometimes… No, most times victory cannot be obtained without sacrifices."
"And why did Dad have to… to die?" Why are the monsters even attacking us? What did we do to them? I bite my lips as I sniff, trying not to cry. I look down and make tight fists with my hands, remembering the letter Dad left me.
"…Your father was not the only one who perished. Takahisa-sama, along most of his squadron, fell on the last battle."
"Huh? Takahisa-san… died too?" But he was really strong! He always won in the Shogi matches we played when he was home during my visits, and I still remember how he defeated Maya-nee really fast in a kendo duel once. How… How did he lose? It's a lit, isn't it? Kazora-san is… just trying to scare me.
"Indeed." Kazora-san look down, his forehead getting all wrinkly as he closes his eyes really tightly, as if he were cutting onions. …He wasn't lying. "That is why we must continue to hone ourselves, so that we do not repeat the same mistakes of the past. That is why our Royal Guards must be the best of the best, elites within the elites. And is the reason why I do not believe you should pursue this path, Shirogane."
"Why? Dad… Dad told me to do my best, and I don't… I don't…" I don't want to end up alone. I don't care if he thinks I'm not good enough, I'll show him I can be a good samurai just like Dad was!
"It's not merely about effort. I do not think this to be a wise idea, considering your attitude."
"But you're not even giving me a chance, you're always screaming at me. You're not a good teacher." I puff my cheeks and fold my arms, looking away from him.
He remains looking at me as I furrow my brows, he's stroking his mustache again. Kazora-san then looks up, his face losing all wrinkles.
"Shirogane, has Maya taught you what meditation is?"
"Meditation? Oh, that thing you do to calm down? She told me to do that whenever I get angry at school."
"And do you effectively practice it?"
"Well… Not really. I end up asleep when I do."
"…I suppose relaxation is another path to clearing one's inner clouds." He nods a few times, eyes closed as he keep stroking his mustache. "Has Maya told you why meditation is of such importance to a Royal Guard?"
"No? Do samurai need to meditate a lot?"
"Sigh… Royal Guards, Shirogane. Use the proper term."
"You don't call me Takeru, so I'll keep calling them samurai." It's unfair. Why do you get to call me however you want, but I can't keep calling the samurai like that? He puts a finger between his brows, massaging them slowly.
"Well then, I suppose I could teach you the reasoning behind my actions. Shirogane, what did you think of today's practice?"
"Huh?" What has this to do with meditation? "You kept beating me up, and I couldn't even counter you."
"And what did you do in front of such adversity?"
"…I did my best to fight back and failed." I puff my cheeks, looking down. I'm sure he'll start saying I'm bad, that I can't do it, that-
"And how did you fight back?" He looks back at me, kind of like how Maya-nee did when she helped me with my history homework.
"With all I had."
"No, that's not… One could say you fought back with aggression, did you not?"
"…Yeah."
"And, did I ever fall to such aggressiveness while we sparred?"
"You did keep beating me up, so yes." He narrows his eyes at me.
"I never returned a strong swing, did I? I was not using my full strength on you. Do you know why that is?"
"Because you would have hurt me?"
"Indeed. A Royal Guard must remain calm when he fights, when he is in active duty. Meditation aids the mind and body, it then reflects in all endeavors one pursues during the day. You lack calmness, Shirogane. Skill and knowledge can be obtained through practice and repetition, but if you yourself do not change your ways, you will not be allowed to join our ranks."
"So I just have to stay calm?"
"No, it is not a matter of only being calm. It's a way of living, a way of conducting oneself."
"So, what do I have to do? I don't get it. Do I have to meditate all day long?"
"Well… Allow me to tell you of the code we of the Royal Guard follow. Ponder this words tonight and the coming days, if you still insist on pursuing the path of the warrior. Ahem…"
Kazora-san cleared his throat and inhaled for a while, eyes closed. I gulped and also inhaled deeply, waiting for his words. If this helps me be a samurai, if Dad also went through this… Then, I have to learn this code and why being calm is so important. Kazora-san opened his eyes slowly, and rising his chin a bit he looked towards me as he started to talk.
"Within the warrior, only two roads are seen. The just and the unjust ones. Nurture your own honor, to never lose your path.
Within the warrior, dread must not make nest. Nurture your own valor, to luster your life and mind.
Within the warrior, selflessness must flourish. Nurture your own compassion, to be your fellows' guiding light.
Within the warrior, there is no place for vainglory. Nurture your own poise, for your acts are a mirror of your values.
Within the warrior, there is only place for truth. Nurture your own honesty, for one's word should be followed by one's actions.
Within the warrior, there is no need for masks. Nurture your own judgment, for your name shall be forever tarnished should you betray your honor.
Within the warrior, no hesitation is shown upon conflict. For you are a blade and a shield, guardian of your fellows.
A warrior ends all struggles swiftly, to the ultimate consequences. We, the Royal Guard, are those who protect the Empire's peace.
Reject fear, for you have a road to follow.
Reject passion, for you have a duty to uphold.
Reject hesitation, for you have a vow to protect.
Reject vanity, for you need no further honors.
Embrace death, to free yourself from your shackles."
He then closed his eyes again and inhaled deeply, exhaling through his mouth. I furrowed my brows as I plucked my lips. I don't get it… What's with all those weird words? But… But…
"Kazora-san, why does that poem say that we have to hug death? That's… horrible. I want to live and I don't want anyone to die."
"No, it isn't to be taken literally Shirogane. But let us discuss this on the way to the dining room, we have stayed for too long here." He stood up and I followed behind him as we left the dojo. "So… Regarding the poem…"
"Yes? Why does it say death is a good thing?"
"…It does not mean that. You see, if you fear death, you will be frozen when it is time to act. If you fear others might perish, your judgment will be clouded. However, if you restrain your fear, if you accept death is an inevitability, you will be able to fight and move without anything holding you back. The meaning of that line is to release yourself from anything that might impair your actions. We of the Royal Guard are servants of the Empire and our own individual lives matter little when compared to the Empire as a whole."
"That's… sad. Your life does matter, Kazora-san."
"I never said it didn't. However…" He sighs as he starts walking slower, his hands going from being relaxed into a fist. "A warrior must never waver, not even in the face of death. I am sure your father also mastered this teaching."
"Huh? Dad did? But… But he never told me anything as sad as this!"
"Ponder it for a moment." He looked back at me, raising a finger upwards. "Your father must have been scared, fearful during this battle with the monsters. He must have wanted to survive to see you once more. If he had succumbed to fear, the fight might have been lost. But he chose to be brave, to see beyond his own selfish wishes, to do what would be better not only for you but for his fellows. As Yohime-sama said, even if he perished your father managed to secure the greatest victory he could achieve, for you are still alive and healthy."
"…But he's gone now."
"As true as that might be… You were something worth protecting. We of the Royal Guard see the Empire and all it's citizens as what must be protected at all costs, and so, we must be steadfast to not lose sight of what must be done. If you wish to become a Royal Guard, someday you might face a battle similar to the one your father was in."
"But that doesn't mean I want anyone to go away." I look down, shivering as I feel again as if someone was throwing snowballs at me.
"However… If you could save Maya, Shion and Mion… Would you fight with all you have?"
"Yeah! I don't want to see them hurt."
"Then, you should meditate on the words of the code. When you're serene, calm and in peace you will find your own answer to the struggles you will face. Only when you control your fears and emotions, only then you will truly be able call yourself a Royal Guard. Shion also suffers from this problem, even if your stance is far more rougher than hers. Therefore, if you still insist on becoming a Royal Guard, first you must tame your aggression Shirogane."
"So… I need to be calm when we fight?"
"Yes, and you also must not lose heart on your studies. Letting seeds of anger sow in your heart will only hurt your performance."
I see… So it's like what Maya-nee said once, I can't keep getting angry at everything I don't understand. Just like when I try to guess when he takes the step back, I have to stay calm to be able to do my best. Dad… Dad could do it. And Mom asked me… to be good with others too.
Kazora-san… isn't so bad after all. He might be scary like how Maya-nee was during our first days, but he is trying to teach me this poem. Even if I still don't agree with it. Dying is… not nice. Nobody should tell you to not care about you, that's just horrible. Even if Dad kept fighting, there must have been a way to win without him having to die. And what about Takahisa-san? If he was also there, how did they lose?
"Kazora-san, was Takahisa-san also fighting with my Dad?"
"…Yes, that is the case."
"Then, how did they lose? He was so strong and smart, Takahisa-san was so awesome I don't see him losing a fight."
Kazora-san stops walking and looks back at me, his brows almost touching as it looked like he was cutting onions again.
"One could say it's… a matter of numbers."
"Why does everything have to do with math?"
"No, it's not… Ahem, allow me to use this as an example. Let's say we are playing Shogi." I nod. "But then, instead of using the usual amount, I am allowed to use double the amount of pieces in the game."
"You can't do that, it's cheating."
"But I can. Then, you'd be at a disadvantage, wouldn't you?"
"Of course! How can I win if you have so many more pieces?"
"And that… is what might happen sometimes. The enemy won't hesitate to… cheat if it gives them victory."
"Then, why don't you call them out on it?"
"They won't listen, Shirogane. Did the bullies in your school listen when you told them to stop harassing you?"
"…No, I had to punch them to make them stop."
"And it is a similar state, this fight. They won't stop, so we cannot remain idle. And sometimes… people will have to die to give us victory, just like how you sometimes need to sacrifice a piece to win a round of Shogi. If you believe this to be cruel… then you should not become a Royal Guard." He then started walking again, faster than before.
…So the monsters are like bullies. And they won't stop at all, so we have to keep fighting. And… And then people have to go away because of them. Maybe that's why they're being so harsh on me? To make the new samurais better than the older ones? Then… Then, if I get strong enough, I can fight without letting anyone getting hurt, right?
My hands shake a little, thinking on what Dad had to do. If even Takahisa-san lost… then, what can we do?
"Kazora-san, do you think we're safe from the monsters?"
"Yes, worry not Shirogane. Takahisa-sama made sure the Empire remains safe."
"T-Then… Nobody has to go and fight with them for now, right?" He stops walking again, looking my way as his lips twist a bit.
"Worry not. We are safe and sound, and no one will be called to battle for the foreseeable future. You can all train safely, so that we may one day protect our home together if the need calls." His eyes look still scary, but they have a small light, like Dad when he said his goodbyes, as he gave me a nod.
So… we can still train and get better. But if I don't become a samurai, I won't be able to be with them or even fight. I gulp as my neck feels all tight and cramped, I don't know how I can get better by just being calm but I have to try. And…
And I want to help out. If Dad helped Takahisa-san, then I can help out too. Maybe then nobody has to give hugs to death anymore.
But what happens if I fail? I don't know, but I'll never be a samurai like Dad, and then I won't be able to stay with Maya-nee, Mion and Shion. I know I'm not that good… But… But I have to keep trying. Even if Kazora-san is really scary, even if this new lessons are really hard… I can do it, right?
When we arrived at the dining room, the food was just about to be served. We gave them a bow, and Yohime-san welcomed us, telling us to sit down. Kazora-san sat near Maya-nee, while I sat on the other side of the table, between Mion and Yuuhi. As I did, the old woman that's always near her sent me another of those scary glares.
"Takeru, are you alright?" Mion said as I sat down.
"Yes… I'm fine."
"Father wasn't too harsh with you?" Shion pursed her lips as she leaned on the table. "Don't let his words get you down, Takeru. You had no chance against him, so it's obvious you were going to lose today."
"But if I don't get better in a month I'll never be a samurai."
"Hm? Why is that?" Mion tilted her head as she heard me.
"Kazora-san said I have one month until the adults decide to which school they'll send me after summer." I puff my cheeks as I look down.
"Children, please be silent on the table." The old woman that's always around Yohime-san said as she served our food.
It smells really nice… How do they make the food like this? I grab my chopsticks and, after waiting for Yohime-san to start, we all began to eat. Hmm… The rice is so nice! It's firm, but I can still taste the spices in it. Though… It does lack something. I dunno, but Maya-nee's rice still has something this one doesn't.
"Say Takeru," Shion smiled widely at me from my side as we ate. "what do you say of us helping you out during the weekends?"
"Helping me out?"
"Yeah, we can help you study and with your sword practice. Do you have your Sundays free?"
"Yeah, I think."
"Ahem…" Maya-nee tapped her glasses as she looked at us. "I suppose we could allow it, Father?"
"Well, they can spend their free time as they see fit." Kazora-san said, resting a glass on the table. "However, you two cannot fall behind in your own studies because of this. I'll be monitoring you three tomorrow, to make sure this session is a fruitful one." He then gave us another scary look, and we three nodded at him.
"Thanks a lot, Shion."
"Hehehe… Don't mention it. I am your older sister too so I have to look out for you." She then laughed quietly while doing a big, evil grin showing me her teeth.
"I can help out too." Mion puffed her cheeks a bit. "I know history is hard for you so I can aid you in your efforts if you like."
"Yeah, thanks a lot you two. Oh, can you be serious when we fight in the dojo from now on? I wanna fight with you to get as good as I can." Both of them shared a look before nodding.
As I began to eat again, I felt a poke on my arm. Looking towards it, I saw Yuuhi staring back at me, a pout on her face.
"…Good evening, Takeru."
"H-Hi, Yuuhi." Why does she look so upset? Her eyes are again full of that weird blue fire that appears when she gets angry, for some reason.
"It seems your day was a harsh one. You look somewhat down, are truly feeling fine?"
"Yeah… It was just a lot of stuff to read. But don't worry, it wasn't so bad." Except for math.
"I see. Takeru, I heard from Mother that you would be staying here from now on. Is that true?" Yuuhi looked at me, the usual smile back on her face. Wait… Didn't Yuuhi… lose her Dad too? Isn't she… sad?
"Yeah, it's true." We kept eating, this chicken is really something else. It's more soft than the one I used to get back home.
"I also was told you would have to study much, I hope you can get acquainted with your new home soon." Uuh… You're so nice, as always.
"Thanks Yuuhi. So, how have you been?"
"Oh, I've been well. I've accompanied Mother on some of her meetings, but I have not had the time to read many books as of late." She… doesn't look sad, at all. Did they not tell her? Or, is she not sad? "So… Since you'll be living here, could we read something together tomorrow, perhaps?" She tapped some of her fingers together as she looked at me.
"Maya-nee, can we?" She furrowed her brows, looking at Yohime-san.
"I am afraid you won't be able to." Yohime-san said as the old woman and Maya-nee served the food. "Takeru has to study much this coming month, Yuuhi. Sadly, he needs all the time he can afford to polish his skills." We both look down, so I won't be able to play with the rest either?
"Now Takeru, do not be so restless." Maya-nee said as she looked at me. "This is something you need to do. You will have your Sunday's free, but you'll be best served using it to practice. Once you regain the rest your free time after this month you'll be able to play with the rest again."
"I see…"
"Well, could you tell me what you thought of your first day here, Takeru?" Yohime-san said, smiling as usual.
I told Yohime-san about today's classes, Yuuhi laughed as I commented on how little I understood of what I saw of math today, while Maya-nee sighed as I told them about what the short teacher taught me. Yohime-san lost her smile when I told her of how strict Kazora-san was with me, and sent him a really scary look when I told them I didn't like the end of that poem. The other old woman didn't even look at me as I was talking, though. I think she also doesn't like me much.
"Takeru, regardless of what Kazora-san says, you have the last say in the matter. And worry not, you won't be sent to the orphanage even if you don't perform well in this month." Yohime-san said as she smiled again.
Yohime-san then asked Maya-nee about what she did, and the pickles about how they fared in their trainings. After we finished eating, we stood up and said our goodbyes to them.
"Thank you very much for the food." I give a bow to the old woman, who squints her eyes and looks away. Why did I do to her?
"Yuuhi-sama, we should return to your room." She ignored me and went to Yuuhi's side.
"Yes, we should." Yuuhi stood up, but then she came closer to me. "Takeru, I wish you good luck on your studies." She grabbed my hands and smiled at me. "You must not doubt when it is time to make an effort. I'm sure you'll do well if you keep your good spirits."
"Don't worry, I'll be fine. Thanks a lot Yuuhi. And, um, good luck in those meetings."
"Hehe, thanks. I hope we can read something together again soon. See you tomorrow, Takeru." She then gave me a nod and went with the old lady out of the room.
Yohime-san stood up and came closer. She petted my head, smiling faintly, as she sat down in Yuuhi's place.
"So, I suppose you must be tired after such a long day. Did you find your training too difficult perhaps, Takeru?"
"Well… It was hard at times." I rub my arms, Yohime-san sends a gaze towards Kazora-san before he left the room.
"I see. Worry not, I shall make sure you are not pushed unnecessarily. Now then, I heard of Maya's proposal, of having you join the training program of the Tsukuyomi House. Are you in agreement with this, Takeru?"
"Yes. I can train with them if I become a samurai, right?"
"Of course. However, it will be a harsher regime than if you were to join as a simple commoner. It does make the paperwork easier… But even so, are you certain of this? You still desire to join the Royal Guard?"
"…Do you not want me here? Am I being a bother?"
"No, nothing of the sort. Did anyone utter any such words towards you today?"
"Well, the second teacher seemed kinda upset at me, and Kazora-san was raising his voice as always during the training."
"I see… I will have a word with them tomorrow about this matter. However, you are no bother to us, Takeru."
"What about all the papers and stuff?"
"Haha… That is but a trivial matter." She smiled as sweetly as she usually did while stroking my cheek. "Even if you do not join the Royal Guard I won't send you away, be sure of that."
"So, I'll still be with Maya-nee?"
"Well, not as usually as you do now, but you will still meet her." Hmm… That doesn't sound so nice. She's trying to calm me down, like Maya-nee did after I read a scary book once and I couldn't fall asleep. "I know this all must be very taxing on you, but you will be fine from now on. Do not let Kazora-san pressure you in any way." I nod, bringing my hands together.
"And… I will see my friends again, right?"
"After this month, you'll regain some more free time, so I suppose you could. So, you merely focus on doing your best efforts in your classes for now." Patting my head again, she gave me a serious gaze as her voice lost the sweet tinge it had before.
"And… Um, Yohime-san, how did Takahisa-san lose?"
"…Who told you about him?" Her voice turned really, really cold as she shot a look towards Kazora-san.
"So, is he gone too?"
"…Yes, sadly." She closed her eye really tight, letting a sigh out slowly. "Please do not mention his name to Yuuhi, she was very afflicted by this loss." I mean, of course she would be sad I don't get how they can smile like that, it was really, really hard to stay calm today for me.
"Okay. But I can still play with her sometimes?"
"Why, of course. Please do keep her company if you have the time. However, your studies come first, yes?" I nod and she smiles.
"So, um, are we really safe? If Takahisa-san lost, with how awesome he was, will we be able to win someday?"
"Worry not, that is why we are working today. This does mean your training will be a truly harsh one, for we need to surpass those who fell. If you ever have trouble, please do tell me. I do not wish to see you getting hurt." She placed a hand on my cheek, slowly rubbing it.
"Yes, I'll be careful. Um thanks a lot Yohime-san, for letting me stay here. I… I will do my best to become a good samurai and help you all."
"Haha, no thanks are needed, my dear. Takeru, I know this must be a tall ordeal for you, however, there is nothing you should fear." Resting her hands near her belly, she gave me a wider, kinder smile. "You should reflect on why you so wish to be a Royal Guard, and you must not shy away from this new responsibilities and subjects you'll face from now on, even if some voice their opposition to your stay here."
She was still smiling, but something in her eyes was different. The small embers of fire that sometimes peek out of Yuuhi's eyes returned to hers as she tensed her brows.
"I hope your efforts can be fruitful, and I will be looking forward to hearing about your progress. And worry not, I won't allow no one to mistreat you from now on." I nod at her with a smile and she calls for Maya-nee, and we leave after giving her a bow.
But… for some reason… I feel like I'm forgetting something. It's not like they were different than how they usually are, Yohime-san does use weird words from time to time, but… but something felt weirder in her words this time.
"Takeru, let us go to your room." Maya-nee placed her hand on my shoulder as we left the dining room.
…That's right. I'm not going back home tonight as always. I'm staying here… Until when?
When will I be able to go home again? Will I see Sumika and the rest again someday? This kinda feels like when the guys threw too many snowballs at my chest, I don't like this feeling.
Mion and Shion made jokes with me along the way, trying to tell me some stuff that should help me in my studies until they had to take another hallway.
"Maya-nee, will I have more long classes tomorrow?"
"Yes, Takeru. You have four hours of classes, your lunch break, and then another four hours of classes, another small break, and then two hours to do your homework before going to the dojo. This is why I told you it would be too much for you. If you wish, you should-"
"I'm not giving up."
"Sigh… If you ever feel it is too much, do tell me. You can't expect to surpass all your tests with passion alone."
"…I'll do my best. Why don't you believe in me?" She furrowed her brows slightly.
"I do have faith in you. However, it would be more productive for you to focus on your innate abilities instead of chasing a dream that might never come. You saw how Father was with you today, and the pacing of the lectures won't ease up after this month. You will need to prepare yourself for your new school, including polishing your manners." We took a turn and reached the hallway were my room is. "I do not wish to see you pushing yourself needlessly, Takeru. No one will treat you unfairly even if you cannot match Shion's and Mion's academic performance." She pet my head and opened the door.
"But I won't be able to stay with you if I fail to join the samurais."
"…That may be so, but I am confident you will be fine in whichever path you decide to walk. Your future won't disappear just because I am not by your side everyday. Also, do not be threatened by that… poem Father told you about. Simply focus on learning as much as you can this coming days."
Maya-nee stayed with me until I got into my futon, and told me to not stay awake. But I couldn't really fall asleep despite how tired I am.
All the teachers gave me a lot of hard stuff to do, I didn't understand most of it. And I only have a month to convince them to let me be a samurai. I again grip my sheets really tight, feeling the snowy hands on my back again. I shiver under the sheets, it's as if I had ants crawling on my sides.
What would happen if I fail? How can I get better? Dad, what did you do to get better?
"What can I do? How can I learn all of this?"
…
I won't get all this new things if I don't keep reading. And there was a lot of stuff to read, I didn't get to finish reading in the two hours I got to make my homework.
I got out of the futon and went to pick up the books I had in my bag. I take a deep breath as I rub my shoulders. Let's keep reading for a while, I need to be better if I want to pass this dumb test! And I should also write down what I think of that poem before going to sleep.
May 23rd. Around 1 PM.
(School. Hiiragi District.)
[Sumika]
"So what do you think happened? He got sick or something?" Jouji-kun asked me from his seat as he picked up his bag, his red bandanna swaying around as he moved closer.
"I don't know, yesterday night they were gone. And they didn't come back this morning too."
It's really weird. Mom came to pick me up late yesterday, since she got busy back at work, so we couldn't go home together with Takeru-chan and Maya-san as always. When we came back from school we didn't see anything weird, but Takeru-chan didn't come visit as he usually does. He wasn't by the window either, and Mom went to see if they were home but nobody answered. This morning was the same… What if something happened to them? Are they alright?
"Don't look so sad, Sumika!" Jouji-kun rose a fist, smiling widely. "Takeru must have just caught a cold or something, he'll be back next week."
"I wonder… I still think this is really weird." Why didn't they answer the door, then?
"That is true." Chie said as she also got her bag, moving her cerulean hair to her back as she did. "Maybe he got so fed up with the tests he asked his sister to go to that dojo yesterday night?"
"Hmm… Maya-san wouldn't let him miss a day of school." She would drag him here herself if she had to. No amount of whining could get her to go along Takeru-chan's whims.
"What is it?" Three girls came towards us, snickering. "Did Shirogane leave you all alone, Kagami?"
"That's not it. He's… He must be sick."
"Really? Maybe he just got tired of being around you losers."
"What was that?!" Jouji-kun took a step forward, and Masahiko-kun had to grab his shoulders.
"Jouji, don't get angry! They'll just call the teacher on you."
"Yeah, they're doing it on purpose." I also grab one of Jouji-kun's arms and then he calms down, clicking his tongue.
"Oh, look at them. Shirogane misses a single day of school and they make all this noise." One of them waves at us, chuckling. "You think he finally got expelled? He was always being so violent."
"Right? Always punching people, always screaming. Maybe some of you will be the next to leave the school. Ahaha!" The three start laughing while smiling at us.
I groan and tense my fists, but I then let some air out from my nose. Remember what Maya-san says, stay calm and don't get angry. That's what these dummies want.
"Guys, let's go."
"Oh, what is it? Can't speak up without your boyfriend with you, Kagami?"
"Wha… T-Takeru-chan isn't my boyfriend!"
"But you two are always together." She replied, moving a brow up and smiling.
"I heard someone saw them kissing the other day, when they broke that old fossil."
"What?! That's a lie!" They then started to repeat kissing over and over, chuckling at me. Grr… Calm down… No punching…
"Yeah, that's just a lie. Stop bothering us, you idiots." Jouji told them, arching his brows as he made a fist again.
"Oh, we're just talking between us. Why are you getting so angry?" They again start laughing.
"Hmph, say whatever you want. Let's go, Jouji-kun. You can't fight them, they'll call the teachers on us."
"…I know. I can't stand them saying bad things about you and Bro."
"All of it is true, I'm sure he got expelled!"
"Come on guys, let's go." I turn my back to them, the guys follow me as the three start talking behind our backs.
"See? That's all they can do, run away like dogs. Ahahaha!"
Jouji sends them a look, Masahiko-kun also does and they quiet down. In a way, it's better Takeru-chan wasn't here. He would have tried to punch one of them for sure.
We go to the gate to wait for our parents along the rest of the kids getting out of the classroom. As we did, I slowed down and relaxed my hands. Takeru-chan… didn't get expelled. There's no way… And anyways, why were they not home this morning? I can see Takeru-chan oversleeping, but Maya-san? Yeah, that's impossible.
"Those idiots… I should have punched them." Jouji rose a fist and shook his head, making his bandanna sway a bit.
"Jouji, you and Takeru can't keep getting into trouble. You really might get expelled." Masahiko-kun said.
"But it's always the same with them, and the teachers never say anything! We're the ones getting scolded all the time." He squints his eyes as he crosses his arms.
"Come on, calm down." Chie waves her hands as she leaned in front of him. "You can't get angry so easily, the teachers have to see them making trouble too."
"Yes, that's true. You and Takeru-chan need to stop being so easy to anger."
"I can't help it. A man must be passionate and protect his fellows. I can't help but to get fired up when someone says mean things about my friends." He again spoke as loudly as usual, raising a fist to the ceiling. He sounds like those guys in the sport channel, the ones who always scream when stuff happens in a match. "I'm sure Bro thinks the same as me."
"Even so, you can't keep getting into fights. If you do, I'm going to stop you." I puff my cheeks and Jouji-kun twitches. Even if he's strong, I can defeat both him and Takeru-chan with a single tummy punch.
"…Fine, I'll try to stay cool. But anyways, make sure Bro comes to class next week. We have the games with the other classes coming up in PE, after all."
"Yeah, that's true… We're gonna have to change the formation if Takeru doesn't come next Monday." Masahiko-kun scratched his head, making his dark fringe move a bit. "He better not be sick, the teacher is gonna get so mad if he is."
"Yeah, I'll scold him for all of us." I put a hand on my side and rose the other to my face, pointing a finger upwards as I smiled.
"Just don't make him angry." Chie taps her fingers together slowly as we reach the gate where the teachers were calling for our parents. "He's gonna get really upset if you just scold him out of the blue."
"Haha, that's true. He can be so silly." We all share a laugh as we waited.
Slowly, our parents came to pick us up and we said our goodbyes before going our separate ways.
Still… I wonder what happened. Looking down, barely lifting my feet as we walked, I thought about what could be the reason why Takeru-chan wasn't home, only to then feel my chest all tight and hurt, like that time I fell off a tree or when that beetle got one of my fingers in it's horns. Then, I feel my hand swaying a bit. Mom was looking at me with a smile as she moved our hands back and forth.
"So, how was school today Sumika?"
"It was fine. The same mean girls came to bother us, but we ignored them."
"I see… Takeru-chan didn't come, did he?" I shake my head. "Nobody came to their house today, and they're not answering the phone."
"Mom, Takeru-chan is going to be fine, right?"
"Of course! Why do you ask that?"
"I mean… His Mom suddenly fainted one day, right?"
"Well…"
"What if… What if Takeru-chan doesn't come back?"
"Sumika, don't think like that." Mom stopped and patted my head. "I'm sure nothing wrong happened. Let's wait until Monday, since they always come back from that dojo by then. Then we'll ask him what happened. So, no more sad faces until Monday. Okay?"
"…Yes. So, he'll be back on Monday?"
"He always comes back on Sunday's night, right? Maybe something happened and he had to be at that dojo today morning."
"Like what?"
"Like… a tournament?" Mom's voice slowed down as she rose a brow. "Anyways, let's not overworry. He's gonna laugh at you for being silly if he finds out what you said and all these faces you're making."
"Eh?! No, don't tell him Mom!"
"Then, give me a smile. I'm sure he must be fine, so let's not worry."
"Yes, okay."
Mom is right, he must be at the dojo again. But, why did he go yesterday? He always leaves after school is over. I wonder… if it's that Yuuhi's fault, maybe she convinced him to leave yesterday. But it's gonna be alright, because he'll be back next Monday like always!
I'm gonna scold him so much for leaving without saying anything. One tummy punch for everyone, so you better get ready Takeru-chan!
The next Monday. 07:35 PM.
(Dojo. Koubuin House.)
[Native Takeru]
"Ugh!" I fall to the floor again, my sword goes flying towards the wall once more.
"You haven't improved your form at all… I told you that such aggressiveness shouldn't be present in your stride, Shirogane." Kazora-san shook his head again.
I slowly get up and go look for my sword. I gasp for air as I pick it up, it's always the same with him. I am getting better, you're just too good for me.
I bite my lips as I take my pose, tensing my brows downwards. I won't cry, I won't cry in front of him again like when they gave me Dad's letter and told me to come here. I grit my teeth as I attack him again.
He keeps parrying my slashes, as if he weren't even trying. He takes a step back and then does a rising slash from my left. I manage to keep my sword in my hands, but I stumble backwards trying not to fall. He rises his bamboo sword and swings it down, I block it once but lose my balance as I did. When I did, I could see his second slash coming right at me.
THWACK!
He hit my head, with barely any strength in it, and I fell to the floor. Uugh… It didn't hurt much, but he still could have chose to hit me somewhere else. What's his problem?!
"If you still can't trade a few blows with me, this will be a pointless effort. Shirogane, you should stop trying to become a Royal Guard."
"Why? Why do you hate me that much? What did I do to you?!"
"Hate is a too strong word." He rested his sword under his arm. "I simply don't see how you could become a decent Guard with this meager skill."
"You aren't giving me any advice, you're just beating me up."
"Sigh… I have told you already, you should not be so aggressive in your stance."
"But if I don't attack I'll never win." He again sighs.
"And as I said before, you must not fall to emotion. It is clear you are not meditating on the code's teachings. You should stop chasing after this futile dream, Shirogane. It would be better for you to study for a different path, or to rest well from your efforts."
"…I don't wanna. I'm going to become a samurai." He shakes his head again, taking his pose once more.
"Can't you see you're only wasting your time? It would be better for you if you focused on studying more instead of being here."
"Well, Yohime-san said I could try. I won't give up until the end of the month!"
"Sigh… Whatever is to happen to you, you won't be able to surpass the expectations placed on a Royal Guard with your abilities and this attitude of yours. It is what it is." He then nodded and readied for another duel.
Again, I dash at him and try to break his guard, but after just a few seconds he starts pressuring me and I can barely keep up. Blocking his swings feels like trying to walk against a strong wind, like those times it rains so hard the umbrellas fly away even if you hold onto them hard. My feet hurt from trying to not fall back, I again try to breath deeply to not end up slipping.
I take a step back and try to counter, but he nimbly blocks me. I keep trying to attack him, this time trying to hit his sides, but he takes short steps back and keeps me in check.
He again comes forward, and in a few slashes droves me back. I was expecting him to knock my sword away or make me fall back, but he stops in the middle, breaking his pose. I remain quiet, sword in midair, as I look at him furrowing my brows within the headgear.
"I'm sure you can see how fruitless this is for you, Shirogane."
"Huh?"
"You haven't improved at all, and you still can't determine how to approach me in our duels. Your inexperience is grand, your form is lacking, and you still do not have an ounce of poise in you. Your patterns are as rough as they could be. It would be a disgrace to the Royal Guard to let such a barbaric person join our ranks."
"Then, how can I get better?" He looks in my direction for a moment. He sighs again and folds his sword under one of his arms as he crossed them.
"I already told you what you should do, and yet you continue to fall prey to your anger. You have seen me fight without using too much force, judging my timing to attack you. If my words and actions have not brought a change in you, however small, in this time, I can only deduce you simply won't improve."
"…You don't know that. And you always speak weird during the lessons."
"…Then, come at me and show me whether or not you have what it takes. Surprise me once, see if you can do that much at the least."
Again I took my pose and attacked him.
SWISH!
But I can't break his guard. What can I do? How can I win?
I try to go from his right, doing a rising slash towards his wrist. He blocks it, I keep going forward and do a downward slash. He parries it again and pushes me back. In a flash, my sword is sent flying again.
"…It seems it has been made obvious to you too."
"I haven't lost yet. I'm not giving up." I slowly go for my sword.
"It's pointless, in the end nothing will change. You can't expect to bridge this canyon in a mere month. I am telling you this for your own good, Shirogane. You should desist in your efforts to be a Royal Guard."
"…No." I sniff a bit, biting my lips to not start sobbing.
"Don't be this contrarian. You are staying overtime to train unlike Shion and Mion, and you still haven't improved. I do praise your dedication, but effort alone cannot bridge this gap. You should be using your time to hone your innate talents, wherever they lie."
"…I want to be a samurai. I… I am not giving up." Maya-nee said we'd be like family. I won't… I won't let this stupid test take them away from me.
"You won't become one at this rate. You're nowhere near a decent form yet."
"Why are you so mean with me, Kazora-san?"
"It's Tsukuyomi-sensei." He grumbles for a while as he shakes his head. "I am only being honest. You have many expectations to meet if you desire to continue down this path, those are the rules we live by. And you… do not possess the abilities that are necessary to be chosen for this role. There are moments in life when you have to possess the courage to back down from a pointless fight. That… is what you should do, Shirogane. Your struggles will be pointless if you continue chasing this dream."
…I don't wanna give up.
If I do, Maya-nee and the rest will be gone. I'll be alone. I don't think I'll be able to make friends, the adults here all look at me with those same scary eyes Kazora-san sometimes has. If everybody else is like that, if I can't see the pickles and Yuuhi, if I can't go back to see Sumika and the rest… Sniff…
I look down, trying to hide the few tears that come out. The hand that has my sword trembles a bit.
Stupid rules… It's not fair that I always have to fight against him. I am doing better than before. This isn't… This isn't…
Still crying, I frown and look up at him, taking my pose again. As he slowly takes a common pose instead of the one Maya-nee also uses, I could feel my head beating. It hurts… It feels as if I had water in my ears and someone was pressing my head from behind.
I take my first step and attack him, this time trying to do it faster than before.
"See? You're only using brute force. This is pointless, you should know better by now!" He pressures me, I take a step back and block him. "You should know how this will end. Stop chasing after impossible dreams, Shirogane."
"No! I won't… I will keep trying!" He pushes my block, breaking the lock and sending a few swings my way that I barely manage to parry.
He again makes me go back, unable to hold him off. I barely manage to meet his swings, almost losing hold of my sword for a moment. I gasp for air as he starts to move a bit faster, feeling as if my hands were hurt after carrying many heavy bags from the super.
I won't give up… I won't lose anything else. I won't accept I lost yet. I rise my blade and return the slash, gritting my teeth as I try to hold my ground as he keeps attacking.
As he kept attacking, my head began to hurt more. Every swing I parried felt as if someone poked my sides with a pencil. It felt as if I had dirt on my mouth, like when I get into a fight and my lips end up bleeding a bit.
I block a downwards swing and place one feet forward, pushing against Kazora-san's pressure. It feels as if many mosquitoes were picking on my neck and arms all at the same time.
As Kazora-san rose his blade, I bent my knees and parried his swing and started pressuring him. The water left my ears, I inhaled through my nose and rose my sword above my shoulder as I kept going forward, enduring the itching on my neck.
He again blocked me as usual, but I aimed my sword a bit lower on the second slash, trying to hit his hands. He blocked me again, but when he went for his follow up, I took my step back and countered. He blocked me again, though.
Arching my knees to move forward faster, I try to connect my attacks with the next one. Gasping for air, I try to keep the rhythm going as Kazora-san's attacks become faster too.
If I let him do his stuff he's going to tire me out again. I have to push forward and hit him once! So, breathing deeply with my nose, I stomped hard with my heels and moved forward, lowering my sword when Kazora-san had to take a step back.
SWISH!
…
"Ugh…" I again was left on the floor. My back hurts a lot. I couldn't even see what happened just now.
I feel a hole in my stomach… I'm hungry… Also, my head hurts. How did he even block me and counter so quickly?! …Ugh, it's as if the floor was moving.
"…Shirogane, what was that?" Kazora-san moved closer, his voice slow and deep like those serious people that appear on the news at night.
"…What? I lost again." I said as I got up slowly. Oh, I didn't lose my sword this time.
"I am not speaking of that. When did you… When did you learn to move in such way?"
"What way? I just did what I always do."
"You weren't trying anything different?"
"Mmgh… No, I was just trying to be faster. What is it?" He remains standing there, saying nothing. Now what? Is he going to say I'm bad again?
"…This was enough for today. Go take your gear off."
"Yes." I give him a bow as he also does the same.
I go into the changing room and take off the helmet. And then, I let the tears come out as I twist my lips shut. I cover my face with a towel as I cry. My arms hurt a lot… And I'm feeling kinda dizzy. I rub my forehead slowly, making circles as I try to calm myself down.
Sniff… I just have to try harder. Everything will be fine… Just remember Maya-nee's advice and you'll be fine… I'm sure…
