36. A Walk in the Rain

There was no going back now.

Remus stood there anxiously, waiting for her to open the door, waiting to see her lovely smile. It was around ten in the night, and it was drizzling slightly. Now might not have been the best time, but it was the right time.

She opened it in a minute, her hair furiously violet, just like it had been the first time he had ever seen her, when she had joined the Order. Her face broke into a smile when she saw him, and she leaned against the doorframe.

"Hi. What are you doing here?"

"Er, am I disturbing you or something?"

"Not at all." She was wearing a dark purple sweater dress that went nicely with her hair. "What's up?"

"Can we go for a walk?"

She peered outside, still smiling. "But it's raining."

"So?"

"Aren't you going to get wet?" she asked.

"I don't mind the rain."

She gazed at him for a moment. "All right. Let's go."

She stepped out from her flat and locked the door. After stowing her wand into her back pocket, she stepped out into the open, allowing the rain to overcome her. They began walking together, through the streets of London, taking in how beautiful it was.

"So…" she began. "You wanted to say something?"

Careful consideration would be an understatement. He had attempted to factor in every possible aspect of a potential relationship between them, every single factor, every single facet. Everything that should be considered. And in the end, he had quit.

Because in the end, his heart was not in it. His heart didn't want to come up with reasons as to why he shouldn't be with Tonks. It was all too tiring. His heart didn't agree with his mind, and his heart had won the battle.

Remus didn't know if he was supposed to be glad or upset or frustrated about that, but all he knew was that if he was going to be with Nymphadora Tonks, he was going to be happy.

"I've made a decision," he stated as the rain grew heavier.

"Let's hear it, then." Her tone was casual, but there was no mistaking the tension in her voice. No doubt she thought he was going to leave her. Remus felt his heart swell at the notion that he wasn't going to disappoint her.

But he could still change his mind now, couldn't he? She didn't know what he had planned to do, he hadn't given her any implications towards it. He could still go back.

That's not the right thing to do, something inside him warned. You came here to let yourself love her. Don't go back on that. If you leave her, you can't go back to fix it.

She's waiting, something else in him reminded him. Don't let her think you're going to leave her.

It's now or never, Remus, came a softer voice from inside him, one that sounded extraordinarily like his mother.

His mother.

She had given up an entire world for an entire new one with someone she loved. She had sacrificed everything for his father. The bravest woman he knew.

Why couldn't he do what she had?

You can, his mother's voice urged. Go for it, Remus. She will never let you regret it.

He looked up at Tonks, who seemed to be waiting patiently, though he could see the anxiety in her eyes. It was true. She would never let him regret it.

"There are thousands of people who are better suited to love you," Remus began softly. "You could have someone who… who doesn't transform every full moon. Someone who earns enough to support you, to take you on fancy dinners every other night, to buy you something every day of the week, to… to live with you in a nice house, to take you skiing for the holidays. You deserve someone who can take care of you, not someone who you need to take care of."

She simply looked at him, her face hollow, empty of expression.

"But you also deserve someone who loves you. Someone who puts your life in front of theirs. Someone who believes you, and trusts you, and will do everything he can to make you happy. Someone whose sweaters you can steal whenever you want, someone who'll give you the biggest hugs when you've had a bad day. Someone who loves you to the moon and beyond."

She gave him a small smile. "Was that intentional?"

"What?"

"To the moon and beyond. Is that just a werewolf thing, or…"

He pressed his mouth to hers, effectively shutting her up.

There were a million things he could compare it to. The salty sea breeze on a summer day. Hot chocolate upon coming inside from a snow-covered field. Pearly dewdrops on the underside of waxy leaves. The taste of cinnamon coffee cake melting on his tongue. The scent of peppermint and tea tree wafting through the air.

But none of them could even begin to describe the sensations of pure joy it elicited.

Rich flavors full of sweetness were erupting on his tongue. His mind had gone numb, and all he could feel was her, her passionate desire as she moaned into his mouth, reflecting how long they had both been waiting for this to happen.

And when Remus finally pulled away, he had never seen something as beautiful as the smile that lit up her face. It was radiant, iridescent, glowing, something that Remus wanted to see for the rest of his life.

For a moment, it was just the two of them, staring into the other's eyes, breathing heavily. Then Tonks brushed the wet hair out of her face.

"You were saying?" she whispered. They were so close, he could see every raindrop settled on her eyelashes.

But his mind knew no more; all he knew was that he wanted more, more of her, more of Tonks, more of his Nymphadora.

"Was I?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Mmm," she said breathlessly. "That I deserve someone who loves me."

He slipped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. "I was wrong. You deserve someone who you love."

"And?" she asked, her hands finding his shoulders.

"And if the someone you love is the same person as the someone who loves you, then…"

He pulled her in for another, and it was blissful.

She sighed in content against him. "In that case, Professor Lupin, you've got yourself a girlfriend."

"I'm honored," he whispered. "I hope she knows I love her."

"She loves you too."

Remus closed his eyes. Was this really all there was to it? It felt so natural, so right.

The werewolf thing, a voice inside snapped irritably. Have you taken care of it yet?

"Nymphadora," he began apprehensively, "we're going to need to be careful. We're still going to have to work things out. You know, I'm still a werewolf. And I don't want to cost you your position at the Ministry. I know how much it means to you."

"It'll be okay," she whispered softly. "We'll be careful. We're going to take all of the precautions, make sure that you have Wolfsbane, make sure that you take it properly. We're also going to find a comfortable place for you to transform, and Sirius can go along with you, since I know that makes it better. Every time you transform, it's going to be better than the last. That's my promise to you."

He could feel tears forming in his eyes, tears of happiness, because he was the most fortunate man in the world to have such an indescribable woman be truly his.

"Are you crying, Remus?" she asked gently. "Don't cry. No." She brushed away a tear that escaped his eyelid. "It's okay."

"I don't know what I did to deserve you," he whispered. "You're the most loving person in the entire world."

She leaned in towards him in response, and he savored the sears of desire that flooded him as they met once more.

"We don't have to go out in public," she reassured him softly. "We don't have to go on fancy dinners. We don't have to go skiing for the holidays, we don't have to live in a mansion. We can take things as slow as you want. There's no rush. We'll do whatever works for both of us."

He tucked a clump of her hair, which was sleek with rain, behind her ear. "You'll stay away on full moons."

"No," she corrected. "I'll stay away during full moons. Only in the nights. But in the mornings, I'm going to help you with recovery."

"Don't bother," he managed, gazing at her soft, pink, now swollen lips. "You have a busy job at the Ministry, don't waste your time on me."

"Don't you dare talk about my boyfriend like that," she warned. "I will not tolerate it."

Unable to bear the temptation, he captured her once more, the rain splattering on their foreheads, running through their hair, dripping down their faces. But neither of them cared in the slightest, because what could possibly be more romantic?

"Adrian really likes you, you know," Tonks informed him as they broke apart. "He hoots whenever I mention your name."

"You mention my name?" he asked, smiling.

She smirked. "You have Sirius to talk to, but it's not like I go to Mad-Eye for relationship advice. So Adrian listens to my problems."

"From now on, Nymphadora, you can bring all of your problems to me."

"Dora."

"What?"

"Call me Dora."

He smiled and took her hand as they continued walking. "I love you, Dora."

She smiled at him. "Was that really so bad?"

"It was terribly hard at first," he replied truthfully. "But now that I've done it, I think I can do it again."

"Oh my..."

He kissed her forehead and she smiled.

"You just need to learn how to live, Remus," she whispered. "To let everything go. To live."

He squeezed her hand. "To live."

And so they did.


A/N: Exactly four months ago, I published the first chapter of my first story ever on . This story has been one of the best things of my life, being able to write it, and being able to delve into the depths of my two most favorite characters. It's incredible to see how far along they've come, and I'm unbelievably proud of this story.

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