Don't hate me!
After picking Piper up from the hospital, the little girl had barely managed to be separated from Jay for five minutes. But after Jay dropped the news that Irving, the man who was responsible for injuring her sister, was out on bail, Piper was practically glued to Erin's hip. She kept a tight grip on her sister's hand throughout the morning, as if someone was going to burst into the apartment at any second to harm her.
If he was being honest, Jay was incredibly grateful for Piper's extreme reaction and attachment to her sister. The Erin he knew before would be none too pleased to be sidelined at home while other people sought to bring perpetrators to justice. This Erin was surprisingly agreeable, and seemed to be willing to take all the necessary precautions.
Jay cleaned up the kitchen while Erin sat with Piper on the couch. Piper's earlier meltdown had fully exhausted her, and the welcome comfort of her sister's touch lulled her into a deep and much needed sleep.
"You okay?" Jay asked, glancing over Piper's head in an attempt to meet his partner's gaze. She'd been incredibly quiet for the past hour, just gently running her fingers through Piper's hair. He had settled beside his girls and was thumbing through a case file, but Erin had been lost in thought.
Erin turned her head and folded her hands in her lap nervously. "Sorry. I've been thinking."
"I could tell," he mused, crinkling his brow slightly. He set the file down on the coffee table. "You want to talk about it?"
She managed a small nod before taking a deep breath. "Jay, I uh, I know we said we'd see where this goes," she started, nervously fiddling with the ends of her – his - sweatshirt, "And I realized when I was in DC just how unfair that is to you." Erin looked up to meet Jay's eyes. "Because I'm going to have to leave again."
Jay was quiet, but he wasn't surprised. In his heart of hearts, he knew that the two of them seeing where their relationship would go was just a teaser. He knew deep down that Erin was going to have to leave, and that no matter how much they tried to avoid it, they both were going to hurt in the end. "It's unfair to both of us," he said finally, "You're right."
"I know it's going to hurt so bad when it happens," Erin continued, "And maybe it's really fucked up to say this, but it was worth it. Every second." She gave a small smile when Jay gave a nod of agreement. "But then I realized that it's not just us that it's unfair to."
Again, Jay was quiet. She was right, again. It wasn't just he and Erin that were going to hurt after they inevitably had to pull apart. Piper, the reason they were together in the first place, would bear witness. They couldn't do that to her, not after everything she'd already been through. She deserved stability, continuity, safety – everything.
"I want to do this. I wish we could do it," she whispered, "But with Piper I…I don't want to risk anything. I don't want to hurt her, if anything happened between us. And as much as I want to just stay here and do this thing for real, if I don't have a job, I don't know if I'll get custody. I-I can't risk not getting to be a part of her life, I can't."
Jay nodded and stroked Erin's cheek, "I know." He swallowed, "So we'll cool it." His heart ached when a tear slipped down her cheek, "But I'm still going to be there for you guys, Er. As much as I can."
She sniffed and nodded. "I don't want to lose you again," she choked out, "But she's my sister and-"
"You need to protect her," Jay finished, "I know, and I get it. And you're right, as much as I don't want to admit that." He gave a small smile and brought her into his chest, careful to not wake Piper. "We can just be partners. We're good at that. We've done it before, and we can do it again."
"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I'm really sorry, for coming back here, for ruining this-"
"You haven't ruined anything," he promised, "That's the last thing I want either us to think, that this is ruined. It's not ruined. It's just different." He leaned down to kiss the top of her head, "I honestly didn't think we'd ever get a chance to be civil again, let alone be partners."
Erin nodded. "We always have such shitty timing."
He chuckled softly. "I'd take all the shitty timing in the world to get us to right here though. With you and Piper."
At that, her heart cracked wide open. "How do you literally always know what to say?" Erin pulled back and wiped her eyes, "I don't know how you do it."
"One of my many skills," Jay replied without skipping a beat. He let his lips linger on her forehead. "I'll always love you, Er. Both of you."
She let another tear slip down her cheek. "I don't know what I would do without you, Jay Halstead. This last year…it sucked. And even if we can't be together, together, I'm just really grateful to have you back in my life." Erin gave a small smile, "She brought me back to you, huh?"
Jay nodded. "Out of all the kids, in all the places, the universe knew to bring me to her."
He couldn't just sit still after the conversation with Erin, so Jay busied himself by tidying the apartment. His heart was absolutely aching, but at the same time, it was full. He knew what he was doing was right. Piper deserved to be with Erin, to have a stable and constant parent figure, and as much as he wished he could be a part of that, Erin's life was in New York, and soon, hopefully, Piper's would be too.
When Piper stirred awake beside Erin, she immediately asked for him. That alone nearly brought tears to his eyes, and Jay hustled across the apartment from cleaning the bathroom to sit beside her. Even though he and Erin couldn't be in a romantic relationship, he was hell bent on honoring his promise to be there for whatever they needed.
He'd set his girls up with a movie on the couch, hoping that what appeared to be a heartwarming cartoon film about a fish and his big adventure would capture their attention, or at least Piper's. Jay had to stop himself. He needed to stop thinking about Piper and Erin as his girls, because they weren't his.
Unfortunately, the movie fell flat. Finding Nemo, despite the G rating, carried themes that Piper was sadly familiar with. The concept of death and abandonment and loss permeated the film, and Jay was acutely aware of just how anxious his little friend was beside him. "How about something else?" Jay suggested after the scene with the cartoon shark. Despite the comedic nature and Piper's fascination with the animals when they went to the aquarium last time, she had tensed up even further at the shark's teeth. He gently stroked Piper's back as she leaned against Erin, "Maybe a re-run of a game we missed?"
She nodded gratefully and let out a breath of relief when he switched the channel. Erin exchanged a glance with Jay, realizing just how much she needed to learn to pick up on when it came to her sister. There were so many things that could be triggering for her little sister that she would have never thought of, but somehow, he always knew.
Piper jumped when a knock came at the apartment door. She instinctively gripped Erin's arm tighter, as if trying to shield her big sister from whoever it was. "It's okay, I got it," Jay assured them, placing a careful hand on Piper's shaking arm, "We're safe."
The little girl didn't release her grip as Jay rose to answer the door. "We're okay," Erin whispered to Piper, gently stroking the child's head, "I'm fine, sweetheart."
"It's Voight," Jay reported after glancing into the peep hole, "Hey Sarge."
"Hey kid," Hank greeted. He glanced over the detective's shoulder and caught sight of his daughter on the couch beside Piper, "How's everything going?"
"We're good," he confirmed, giving a small smile for Piper, hoping to reassure her that they were all safe, "We had some breakfast, and are now watching a game we missed."
Hank nodded. "You have a minute?"
Jay swallowed. He knew that look. "Sure," he said, trying to keep his voice light, "You guys want to keep watching the game and I'll be back in a sec?"
Erin forced a smile. She recognized the look on her father figure's face as well. "Sounds good," she replied, doing her best to match Jay's measured tone. She could feel Piper trembling beside her. Her little sister had also picked up on the shift in the apartment.
Hank followed Jay into the kitchen. "What's going on?" Jay asked, folding his arms across his chest.
"Frank Hill gave up the location of a meet that's going down," Hank informed him, "Four o'clock, today, back of the yards. We're sending him in to meet this Donny, Tyler Marsh and potentially Irving as well. Might get to nail them all in one bust."
"We think they're that stupid?" Jay's mind was going a mile a minute. They were closing in on three more offenders, which was one step closer at getting Piper justice. This was good news.
"Not stupid enough to bring in the mystery man," Hank scoffed, "We also got Hoffman to roll on the judge. Got a warrant to pick her up tomorrow, first thing."
Jay widened his eyes. "Really?"
"Not sure what this is going to mean for Piper's case," he warned, "But it's a step in the right direction."
"It is," Jay exhaled. Piper had a chance at a real judge, who would see right through Bunny's lies. Finally some good news all around.
"If we can get these bastards, we can get a lead on the guy in charge," Hank continued, "I came by because I need you in there. I know the kid's nervous but Platt's around to keep an eye out, and she'll be with Erin."
"I want to be there," Jay agreed, "I'll talk to them but-" He paused after glancing into the living room. Piper was alone on the couch, not focused on the television at all. Her gaze was trained on Jay's bedroom door. "Hey Pipes, where did Erin go?"
Piper quickly turned her head. "She had a phone call," she replied, voice wavering slightly, "I'm watchin' the door to make sure nobody gets her."
Jay's heart ached at how nervous his little friend was. "The door's locked, kiddo," he said, quickly crossing from the kitchen to the living room, "We're safe."
Hank watched as Jay lifted the child into his arms, and she immediately relaxed against him. The similarities between Piper and Erin broke his heart. He remembered just how skittish his girl was when he first brought her into his home and to be a part of his family. Erin had been far more jaded, and was also detoxing, but was equally as scared. She too had jumped at every noise, having been trained from a young age to be wary of any commotion or new voice. Watching his detective with Piper also filled him with regret – oh how he wished that he'd been able to hold a scared young Erin in his arms, and provide the comfort she so desperately needed.
"We're gonna get them," Hank said carefully, "So you don't have to be worried anymore."
Piper looked up at Hank warily. "Really?"
"Mm-hm," Jay confirmed, "We're going to head to the district for a bit, and then I'm hoping by tonight, everything will be a little bit better."
She tightened her grip on Jay's shirt. "W-what about Erin?"
"She's coming with us," he assured her, "I've got some friends at the district who are going to make sure you guys stay super safe, and I'll be with Sergeant Voight and Hailey, so I'll be safe too." He was doing his best to keep Piper calm but could literally feel her tiny heart hammering in her chest. "I know it's a little scary, but I need to help my team catch these guys so everyone can sleep easier." Jay paused to see if he could get a read on Piper's features, but the little girl's face was blank.
"And even after we get them, you're staying with me," he followed up, "Nothing's gonna change just yet, kiddo."
That did the trick. Piper practically melted against him in relief. "I wanna stay with you," she whispered, "But I know you gotta do your job."
Jay smiled softly. "I know. I wish I could stay here and hang with you guys, but I'm hoping this allows us to settle things down for a bit."
"Okay," she murmured, "I trust you."
"Good," he replied, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Do you think you can get ready for a few hours at the district while I wrap things up with Sergeant Voight? Maybe pick out a few books?"
Piper gave a nod of assent, and Jay carefully set her down. "You're good with her," Hank remarked after the little girl disappeared into her bedroom, "You've done a great job, Jay."
Jay managed a humble smile. "Thanks, Sarge. She's special. They're both special." He gestured to Erin, who emerged from his bedroom. He frowned when he saw her face. Something was up. "Everything okay?"
"I gotta go into the office," she reported, "Some bureaucratic bullshit I need to deal with. I'll be back in a few hours."
Hank looked at his detective, and then to his daughter. "We've gotta bring you and Piper into the district. The bureaucracy might have to wait, kid."
She frowned further. "I can't not go," Erin argued, "It was a direct request. I'll be fine for a few hours, Hank."
He set his jaw. "Then you'll take an officer."
"Absolutely not," Erin shook her head. She glanced from Jay to Hank, both of whom looked incredibly serious. "I'm perfectly capable of handling myself to and from my office, which happens to a building protected by federal agents. I don't need a police escort."
"It's not up for negotiation, Erin. You either take the police escort, or you can come to the district with me." Hank issued a pointed look.
"Jay?" She turned to him for support and then scowled when her partner looked just as insistent as her father figure.
"Sorry, Er. I'm with Hank on this one." He gave a small smile, "It'll get you through traffic quicker."
Erin shook her head again, about to protest again when she was interrupted by a small voice. "Please Erin?" Piper asked, nervously looking up at her sister from a few feet away in her bedroom doorway. "Just to be safe?"
Jay and Hank exchanged a look as Erin stuttered, not realizing that Piper had been listening. "Noodle, I-"
"Please," she begged, closing the gap between them and taking Erin's hand. The little girl's hand was shaking slightly, and Erin felt her heart lurch. "I don't want anything to happen to you."
Erin was quiet as the realization dawned on her. If something, anything, were to happen – if she was hurt, if she was taken, or God forbid if she were killed – Piper would go back into the system, or worse, to Bunny. She was no longer just responsible for herself and her own well-being, but responsible for a whole other human life. And being responsible for that life meant also doing everything she could to keep herself out of harm's way to keep Piper safe.
"Nothing's going to happen to me," Erin said thickly, sinking down to her knees to meet her sister's eyeline, "I promise." She tucked the loose hair behind Piper's ear. "You don't have anything to worry about, okay?"
Piper sniffed. "You're gonna listen to Sergeant Voight? And Jay?"
Erin looked over to Jay, who was doing his best to keep the smile off his lips. He knew she couldn't say no to Piper. "I am," she confirmed, turning back to Piper. She stroked her little sister's cheek, "I'm going to be totally fine."
In an instant, Piper crashed into her chest and held fast. "I just want you to be safe," she whispered into her neck, "I-I don't want you to get hurt again." She pulled back to meet Erin's eyes, "I was really scared last time, that I wasn't going to have a sister anymore."
Erin felt royally stupid as she held her little sister closer. The consequences of her actions had never felt heavier. Piper was scared, and rightfully so. She'd been through an incredible amount of trauma for such a young person, and had to be the one to encourage her big sister to stay safe. "I'm sorry," she managed, "I-I didn't mean to scare you." She swallowed, "I'll be safe, I promise."
Piper let out a breath and leaned in closer in relief. "Jay says it's okay to be worried 'bout the people that you love."
"He's right," Erin mused, gently stroking Piper's back with one hand, "I love you so much, and I'd do anything to keep you safe, you know that, right?"
Piper nodded. "You're gonna come back for dinner?"
"Absolutely," she confirmed, pressing a soft kiss to Piper's forehead, "The day's going to fly by."
"Okay kiddo. I'm going to head out with the team, and you are safe here." Jay crouched beside his desk to look up at Piper, who was clutching the book she was reading tightly in her little hands. After several confirmations that Erin was safe with the police detail and had settled at her desk in the office, Piper had relaxed slightly, but was still considerably on edge. "Sergeant Platt is downstairs and will be up to check on you, and nobody can get up here without scanning their hand, so you are super secure."
Piper dropped the book and grabbed his hand. "You're gonna come back for me? And I get to go home with you, right?"
"Of course," he confirmed with a smile, "I'm thinking pizza for dinner, huh? Maybe one veggie pie for me, and pepperoni for you and Erin?"
She gave a small nod. "I-I like the veggie one too," she said, almost in a whisper, "I think they would taste good together."
"I do too," Jay agreed, feeling his heart ache when Piper leaned into his arms for a hug. "Thank you for being so brave today, Pipes. I'm really proud of you."
Piper held tighter. "Ready, Halstead?" Hailey asked as she emerged from the breakroom, not realizing he was holding the little girl, "Oh, sorry."
"I do have to go," Jay kissed Piper's head, "I love you, kiddo."
"I'll take good care of Jay," Hailey said with a small smile, "Don't worry, Piper."
Piper managed a nod. "I'll finish my book," she decided, carefully releasing her hold on the detective.
"I'll see you in a bit," Jay promised, kissing the top of Piper's head once more before following his partner down the steps to vest up.
"Halstead, Upton, Burgess, head left. Atwater and Ruzek, right," Hank instructed, "Stay close and sharp. Everybody goes home tonight, you hear me?"
"You got it, boss," Ruzek confirmed, "Let's get these guys. Been two months in the process."
Jay swallowed as he maneuvered around the shipping containers. His stomach was in knots. Raids normally got his heart racing, but this one was different. These were the bastards who hurt Piper. Who hurt Erin. They were responsible for the trauma and pain inflicted on his girls, and he wasn't about to let them get away with it.
But they weren't his girls.
He loved them fiercely, but they weren't his. Erin made that clear. She needed to prioritize Piper, and that meant taking a step back from them. Rationally, he understood where she was coming from. Rationally, he even agreed with her. But the irrational part of Jay was in pieces. He needed to stop thinking about Piper and Erin as his.
"Your head on straight?" Upton quipped in a hiss. "Can't have you distracted here, Jay."
"Yes," Jay bit back, "I just want to get these guys."
The vehicle arrived, as Frank Hill had promised. Two tall white men emerged after a few moments, and Jay sucked in a breath. One of them was Lawrence Irving, and the other he wasn't sure, but it closely resembled the last mug shot of Tyler Marsh. He set his jaw, knowing that they were both involved in harming Piper.
Another car pulled up, and Jay instantly felt his blood run cold. That was Donny, he was sure of it. Frank Hill started talking, but their voices were too low, and he couldn't hear anything. Suddenly, Jay caught sight of Ruzek out of the corner of his eye. If he could see the officer, that meant that the offenders would too.
In slow motion, one of the men, who Jay thought was Marsh, turned and noticed the officer. "Hey!" He shouted, immediately reaching for the gun on his hip. "Did you call the cops, Hill?"
And then it was a blur. Bullets were flying across the yard as two of the men scrambled to get into the vehicle, and one took off on foot. Frank Hill was lying on the ground, motionless. Voight sped off behind them as the rest of the unit fought to catch their breath. "We're good, let's go," Ruzek gestured to Atwater, who had already taken off behind Voight. "Upton, where's Halstead?"
Upton spun around, having been too focused on the offenders to think about her partner. Her heart dropped when she saw Jay's feet on the ground. "Jay!" she screamed, diving to her knees beside him. His eyes were fluttering as he lay on the ground, unable to form words. "Please be the vest," she begged to nobody in particular as she ripped apart his shirt. She cursed when she saw the blood. "Call an ambo!" she shrieked, "Halstead's been shot."
Eeeeeeek! Told ya I had some stuff planned ;) Let me know what you think!
