Harry Potter. You know Chris Chan hates it since it rivals Pokemon. (Although Digimon is the TRUE and HONEST rival.) But that's not why I brought it up today. Today we're going through a Harry Potter fanfiction called "My Immortal". Some of you are pretty curious. You probably never even heard of My Immortal. So what is My Immortal?

Well, My Immortal is a Harry Potter fanfiction written in 2006 that focuses on a Harry Potter OC named, and I kid you not, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. Also, she's a vampire.

So what makes My Immortal so famous? Well, I think we should add "in" before famous. The story was heavily known for its spelling and grammar errors, inconsistent plot, and at one point, mentioning Marty McFly from Back To The Future.

Still don't believe me? Since the fanfic's been taken down, possibly because of the grotesque imagery in this story (no kidding, there's a scene where someone cuts her wrists), many brave souls have tried to re-upload it but to no avail.

What's that? You still don't believe me? Here's an excerpt. Let's see... let's take a scene from Chapter 4. Spelling and grammatical errors are preserved.

And then… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was….Dumbledore!

If that doesn't convince you, I don't know what will. So who wrote this? The user that supposedly authored this story goes by the name, and I'm not even joking, XXXbloodyrists666XXX, or Tara Gilesbie. In 2017, an author named Rose Christo came forward claiming to be Tara. She said she wrote it to find her missing brother. Of course, Rose's brother came forward and rebutted all of her claims. So who wrote My Immortal? Nobody knows.


"Trick or Treat!"

A child appeared in front of Karin. He was wearing a Harry Potter costume with a wand and a broomstick. It reminded the woman of Peter. As she gave him a twinkie, she kept to herself.

"You're not going to say Happy Halloween?" The kid asked.

Karin silently closed the door. The kid continued his way. She slunk onto the couch.

"Let me guess, something reminded you of Peter?" Chris said.

"Yeah..." Karin said.

"Where's Johnson and the Writer?"

"They're out getting candy. Guess they need that sugar rush."


THE NEXT DAY...

The writer and Johnson returned with a huge sack of candy. Both Karin and Chris were silent as they watched the candy pour out.

"Alright, we have enough candy to last us through the year," Johnson said.

"Guys, maybe you've grown out of the holiday?" Karin suggested.

"No!" Both boys said at the same time.

"Peter would often trick-or-treat with us!" Johnson said.

"What do you mean by us? It's my first time with you guys." The writer said.

Johnson noticed Karin's saddened face.

"What's wrong?"

"I saw a kid wearing a Harry Potter costume."

"And it reminded you of Peter? Didn't you two watch the movies together?"

"Even though he was on his phone the entire time, he still knew the story," Karin said.

"Hey guys, I know what we're going to do today!"

"What?"

The writer took out his phone and wrote a line.


The next thing Karin knew, she was in an open field with the others.

"Where are we?" Chris said.

"Hogwarts." The writer said, pointing to a castle far off into the distance.

"That makes sense," Johnson said. "But why are we here?"

"I was hoping another adventure would keep our minds off of Peter for today."

"Hey!"

Everyone turned to that voice. A vampire guard spotted the group.

"You can't be out here! And for that, you're going to the dungeon! Guards, arrest them!"

Vampire guards surrounded the four.

"Hey, let go of me!" Karin shouted.

"We didn't do anything wrong!" Chris added.

"Who are you guys?" Johnson stated.


The group was thrown into a prison cart on a train.

"Well, this sucks," Chris said.

"Who are you?" said a prisoner.

Several other prisoners gathered around the group.

"Um, your name first?" The writer said.

"Jacob Griffin." One of the prisoners said.

"I just go by New Kid." The writer said. "This is Chris, Johnson, and Karin."

"Hello?" Karin said nervously.

"Guys, we can't bust this thing open," Johnson said.

"Figures," Chris said.

"Maybe these guys can help." The writer suggested.

"Oh, we can't. They took our wands." One prisoner said.

"Can't you guys cast magic with your hands?" Chris asked.

"We can't."

"We're screwed," Johnson said.

"Wait, they didn't take my phone." The writer said.

The writer wrote a line. A wand appeared in front of everyone.

"Now I don't know magic, but maybe one of the prisoners knows." The writer said.

Jacob picked up the wand.

"My magic's pretty rusty..."

"Just do it!" Everyone demanded.

"Alohomora!"

The door opened. Everyone jumped out of the train.

"Ow..." Karin groaned as she got up.

"I never said it was the safest escape." The writer said.


The group followed the prisoners to their underground colony.

"Whoa..." The writer said.

"Jacob! You've escaped!" A boy said.

"Guys, this is my best friend Ben," Jacob said.

"Jacob, who are these guys?" Ben asked.

"Chris, Karin, Johnson, and New Kid." The writer said, pointing to the respective names.

"Yeah, thank you for your help. Let me explain what happened." Ben said.


A vampire student named Ebony was previously expelled from Hogwarts. In revenge, she turned numerous people into vampires to form her own army. They took over Hogwarts and turned anyone into a vampire if they did not follow her orders.

"Why didn't you fight back?" The writer said.

We couldn't. We ran away and cowered.


"We've been hiding here ever since," Ben said. "We're too cowardly to fight."

"Guys! Just because you are cowards doesn't mean you have to be cowards!" Chris said.

"Are you doing what Peter does?" Johnson said.

"I'm trying okay?"

Everyone underground was listening to Chris.

"And combined, we can topple Ebony!"

"Even though we never met her," Johnson muttered.

"Coward to us means brave hero!"

There was a lukewarm response from the audience.

"Okay, Peter can do this much better," Chris admitted.


Awakening from her coffin, Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way had her breakfast of pig blood.

"Ugh, this day is so boring." Ebony groaned. "Bring me a prisoner so I can feast on."

A Hogwarts prisoner was brought up by the guards. She was met with the fangs on her neck.

"Must... obey... master..." She moaned.

"Are you satisfied, master?" A guard said.

"No! I need something more!" Ebony yelled.

Suddenly, the sounds of a drum rang into her ears. Ebony ran outside to see a crowd of Hogwarts students marching out of the forest with Chris, Johnson, Karin, and the Writer leading them. Everyone was armed with wands, with the four arming themselves with whatever they could find in the forest. They all sang in unison:

This is our battle song, as we're marching into war

This is our battle song, we're gonna give you guys what for

You might think you can't defeat us your defenses have some heft

But the thing that we won't tell you as you're fighting on the left

Is the left is just a skirmish a diversionary fight

We'll hide the bulk of our forces on the right

"These fools! They're saying their plan! In song! Get our forces over to fight!" Ebony commanded.

"But our right? Or their right?" A guard questioned.

No, our right! They're over in the forest

That's your left! Perhaps we shouldn't put in a chorus

You should watch what we say

Don't wanna give our plan away

"Get our forces to the right!" Ebony said.

All the guards including Ebony went to the right. As they waited patiently, they noticed something. No one came from the right.

"What the?"

"Psych! We're over here!" Chris said. "We were going from the left while you were going to the right!"

"You lied to us! In song!" Ebony realized.

The students cast magic on the vampires. To little effect.

"What the?" Karin said.

"Did I forget to mention that vampires are immortal?"

"Uh oh."

As the vampires closed in on the group, the writer grabbed Karin's stick and formed a cross with his stick.

"Now!" He shouted.

Chris shot out from a squirt gun.

"Augh! It burns! It burns!" A guard wailed until he turned into ash.

"Holy water. Fear it." Chris said.

"Shouldn't vampires be killed in sunlight?" Karin asked.

"Sunlight only weakens their powers, not kill them."

Meanwhile, the students assisted Chris by keeping the vampires away from him as the latter blasted each one with holy water.

"Retreat! Retreat!" A vampire guard shouted.

The vampires fled Hogwarts.

"Oh lookie! Lookie!"

Johnson was held hostage by Ebony. Chris readied his squirt gun.

"Put it down! Unless you want this boy here as a slave of mine!"

Chris reluctantly lowered the gun.

"You may have won this battle, but you will never win the-"

Blood dripped from Ebony's mouth.

"Am I... bleeding?"

Ebony collapsed onto the ground. Jacob had stabbed Ebony in the back with a knife.

"I didn't mean to hurt anyone! I saw you in trouble and I-"

"You don't have to apologize. We took back Hogwarts." The writer said.

"So what now?"


The group found themselves enjoying and having fun at a party in the now liberated Hogwarts.

"Even though we're not honorary students, who cares?!" Karin cheered.

"Guys, we need to head back." The writer said.

"Oh. Okay." Chris said.

"Thank you, New Kid!" Everyone cheered.

The three gathered around the writer as they headed back to their world.


...

..

...

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

.

..

..

.

...

..

..

.

..

..

..

..

..

..

.

..

..

..

..

.

..

..

..

.

.

...

...

..

.

..

...

...

..

..

...

...


As for My Immortal, this story had almost nothing to do with Harry Potter or even My Immortal in general. It's just something I want to write on.