"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!" Arthur motioned incredulously to the obliterated room.
'Was there an earthquake?' Arthur wondered anxiously, 'How? I felt nothing… but how else does a rift as wide as a lance pole suddenly appear in a stone floor?"
"Oh, it was just Merlin, sire." Looking up at his visitor, Gaius chuckled at Arthur's shocked face. The king had always been capable of making the most amusing expressions. The physician calmly puttered around, carefully reorganising his surviving supplies and equipment.
"JUST MERLIN? There's a giant hole in your floor!"
There was indeed a sizable gap in the floor. Gaius stepped over it cautiously to set a stack of books back on the shelves. "His magic tends to get away from him in emotional moments."
"Do I want to know?" Arthur looked up and lifted an eyebrow nervously.
"You might, but I think it's best that you and Merlin sort it out without my meddling."
Arthur nodded abashedly and shifted back on his feet. For a moment, Gaius was reminded of the tiny prince who would run to him with injured forest animals, asking if the physician could heal them. Much of that childish innocence had been snuffed out and replaced with mature determination. Gaius looked at the king with a wary wistfulness.
"I do hope you can forgive him, sire."
"I-..." Arthur looked away awkwardly, his lips in a tight line and eyes to the floor.
Gaius, noticing the king step back as though turning to leave, cleared his throat and gestured ruefully at the mess of broken pots and spilled potions.
"While I apologise for the state of my room, is there something I can do for you?"
Arthur laughed weakly and shuffled forward to lean against one of the mostly intact benches. "Don't fret about it, Gaius. You should have seen the state of my chambers..."
Gaius squinted questioningly, and Arthur raised his messily bandaged hands. The physician tutted disapprovingly and raised his pince-nez glasses to his face. "I thought your days of getting into fistfights were over, sire. Please tell me you didn't hit the ambassador. I heard you gave him quite a fright as it is!"
"No! No, I didn't - I - It wasn't exactly a fight. More of a one-sided assault to my bedroom wall?" The young king snorted with self-depreciation, halting at Gaius's understanding sigh.
"I see... Alright, take off the wraps. I'll get some salve."
Gingerly, Arthur unwound his makeshift bandages. His hands were every color but the pale tan they were supposed to be. The middle knuckles were the worst, so grotesquely bruised that they were almost black and swollen to twice their size. He flexed his fingers stiffly, holding in a pained gasp with a tight bite on his lip.
"Oh, Arthur!" Gaius chastised, pulling the injured fists up for examination. He clucked his tongue and pulled a flickering candle over for better lighting.
"I know..."
"Your knuckles look smashed, sire. And based on the swelling-...how long did you wait to find me, my lord?"
"Two days...?" Arthur murmured guiltily, "They don't hurt that bad...I thought maybe if I left them be..."
"You know better!"
"There's plenty of proof to the contrary."
"You must value your hands, sire. They allow you to fight, to write, to touch. If you'd left them any longer it could have caused irreparable damage."
Arthur nodded and quietly let the physician bend his fingers and press gently at the swelling. In the past, Arthur would put up a fit at being fussed over, trying to talk down the scale of his injuries with false bravado. But he was tired, and there was no point in pretending anymore. Instead, he tried to spark conversation with the aged healer.
"Merlin said he didn't know how to heal broken bones. Do you? Could you teach him?"
"I once used my gifts for such things, yes. It's tricky and requires precision, or the bones can heal oddly. Merlin was never much interested in healing magic. He found combat magic more entertaining. That and spells to do his chores so he could laze about." Gaius snickered.
Arthur shook his head. Of course, when Merlin said he used his magic solely for the king, his daily chores fit that jurisdiction.
"I offered Merlin the position of Court Sorcerer. Sort of... it got a bit..."
Gaius grinned broadly, "He must be very proud, sire."
"I don't know... I would like you to teach him everything you know if he agrees."
"I'm sure he will, sire. Just give him time. Merlin sometimes struggles with change, but he'll find his way."
Arthur agreed silently and observed Gaius applying different tinctures to his hands. "...Why don't you use your magic, Gaius?"
Gaius paused and looked up at his patient with a pleased smile. "My mind is not what it used to be, sire. I have gone many years without practicing, and magic is a fickle thing. It can be dangerous if done incorrectly. I have much wisdom in the theoretical magic but not the physical."
Arthur pondered this.
"You knew me better than almost anyone, Gaius."
"Yes, sire."
"Why did you tell Merlin to lie to me?"
A heavy silence filled the air, Gaius dropped Arthur's hand and twisted away to mix herbs and oils in his pestle and mortar. A soft crackle and rhythmic tapping echoed in the quiet chambers. Haggardly, the man started to explain.
"In the beginning, I was afraid. Merlin was so young and kindhearted. Then suddenly, he was thrown amid the most dangerous family to his kind. As time went on, I worried telling you would force you to choose between protecting Merlin and obeying your father. You are a loyal son, and I know it would have pained you. I -I felt I couldn't risk Merlin's safety. I've lost too much, too many friends and peers to Uther. I love Merlin as though he were my son."
"...I understand," Arthur admitted sorrowfully.
"I've judged you wrongly, sire."
"No... I do not know what I would've done if I had discovered this when Merlin and I first met. There are things that I wish could've been different, but I can't change the past. Thank you... for keeping Merlin safe." Arthur whispered, ashamed. Gaius placed a hand gently on the king's cheek. Arthur jerked, unfamiliar with the touch, but relaxed and let Gaius cradle his face.
"You have become very wise, Arthur. Care to let me in on your sudden wisdom?"
"I..." Arthur paused, "I know now, Gaius. I know everything. What I once believed is no longer true. Surely that changes a man."
"Merlin told you...?"
"No. I found the answers on my own."
Gaius scrutinized the young king with intelligent blue eyes. Arthur was hiding something. Arthur pointedly held the eye contact, setting his jaw stubbornly, a defensive challenge. Gaius relented, bowing somberly and opening a cupboard to fetch some gauze. When he returned to his patient, the physician caught a glimpse of the vulnerable and distrustful emotions churning behind the king's authoritative expression. Hesitantly, Gaius cupped Arthur's hands in his own and spoke again.
"There's something I haven't said to you before that I want to say now." Gaius mulled over his next words. His thoughts had eaten at him since Merlin and Arthur returned from the forest, changed. He had to confess his guilt. "I protect Merlin as my own. I am sorry I didn't protect you too. I- I've never forgiven myself for allowing - for what happened to you."
Arthur went rigid, trying to pull his hands out of Gaius's grasp, but the physician held fast. Scoffing with forced amusement, Arthur tried to quickly dismiss the topic. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Ignoring the boy's denial, Gaius pushed on. "You didn't deserve what was done to you. I was foolish to hope that as you aged, it would resolve itself. I ignored you. I couldn't help you. I stitched your wounds, soothed your bruises, and mended your bones, and then I sent you right back into the hands of your..."
"What's done is done." Arthur sharply cut in, yanking his bandaged hands back with a wince and stoically sliding off the bench. "I needed disciplining. I don't want to talk about it any longer."
"Arthur, we need to address this…"
"I don't know what you mean."
"It wasn't your fault, sire."
Arthur faltered and quieted, looking at the healer with apprehension.
"Uther was... I am sorry I didn't help you. I was afraid, and I let it overrule my morals." Gaius's breath shuddered, and he looked down sorrowfully.
Arthur pitied the clearly guilt-ridden man and struggled to comfort him. "Magic had just been banned, Gaius. You were spared out of my father's 'fondness' for you... Because you aided him... If you'd defied him, it would have meant your life. No matter how little the offense."
Gaius shrugged, realising Arthur was not understanding him
"I worry for you, Arthur. I know you harbor secrets too. And I fear they will fester inside you and cause more harm. Just as Merlin's did."
"I- Gaius."
"You are a good man, Arthur. A good king. A good friend. A good brother. A good son." Gaius smiles. "None of this was your fault, Arthur. You..."
"...Yes?"
"You remind me so much of Ygraine… Sometimes I wonder..." Gaius dismissed the thought suddenly."Your mother would be very proud of you. As I am. As Merlin is."
"I… Thank you."
Snapping out of his reverie, Gaius patted Arthur's shoulder gently and handed him a little bottle. "Here is a tonic. It will reduce the inflammation and allow you to sleep well tonight. Don't fight and try not to use your hands too much. Come back to me in two days, when the swelling calms. If your hands need further support, I will have to put your hands in casting."
"...Right. That would be a challenge."
"Then I suggest you avoid punching walls in the future, sire."
Arthur laughed dryly, "Good night, Gaius."
Arthur stood and left the kind physician's chambers, closing the door carefully behind himself. He sighed and shook his head, nearly tripping right over Merlin. The brunet man jerked awake, startled, and unfolded from the tucked position he'd fallen asleep in against the wall. Merlin stared up at Arthur in surprise, waving a hand awkwardly.
"Hey..."
"What are you doing out here?! The floor must be freezing..." Arthur asked worriedly, holding out a hand for Merlin to take and pulling him up.
"I saw you go in, and I didn't want to interrupt."
"Oh..." Arthur stared at the warlock shyly, "Thank you."
"Arthur..."
"Yeah..?"
"No matter what... I never want you to feel alone..."
The strong force of deja vu that hit Arthur left him breathless. The same exhausted and apologetic look rested on Merlin's face, a hand coming up to rub his tired eyes. Arthur stared at Merlin intensely.
Sometimes Arthur did that, just peered into Merlin's eyes with such focus that the warlock swore Arthur could see his very soul. Merlin wrung his hands and wondered what Arthur was thinking.
"Arthur? Are you... ok?"
Arthur's eyebrows furrowed and he stepped forward. Absurdly, Merlin wondered briefly if the king was going to hit him. But then with a tenderness Merlin didn't know Arthur possessed, he was pulled to the blond's chest and held tightly. Merlin stilled for a second before absolutely melting into the hug.
"Oh..." Merlin gasped.
Arthur's face tucked into Merlin's neck and his hand cautiously laced in his hair. Merlin looped his arms around Arthur's back and ran his hands lightly up and down it. Arthur's hold tightened, his body warm and molded around Merlin's. He took a deep breath, the exhale tickling Merlin's neck. With one last squeeze, Arthur stepped back and walked away.
Merlin stood stunned, his arms slowly lowering from the now empty air. Arthur turned the corner and walked out of sight.
