an: a new chapter just before christmas! my present to myself is to take a break because i've been writing pretty much non stop since the start of november and i'm exhausted :;) knowing me tho i'll probably try and get the next chapter finished for next week but we shall see. maybe i can actually give myself enough rest this time round...
hope you guys enjoy the chapter 3 thanks again for all your support this year and for this silly little story of mine. love you all. merry christmas and happy holidays! if i don't see you beforehand all the best to you when 2021 comes!
song for this chapter: lauren aquilina – time to say goodbye
1915
building bridges over land and sea
shine a blinding light for you and me
to see, for us to be
"Mia, come on!"
Riza's cry carried up the stairs to Mia's bedroom. She'd go up there and hurry the girl along herself but Maes was already strapped into his pram and she couldn't bring herself to leave him alone. Happily, he gurgled and played with his teething toy, oblivious to his mother's antsy behaviour.
"Mia!"
"Coming," she cheerily replied, no sense of urgency in her tone or gait whatsoever as she hopped down each stair individually.
"Come on, slowcoach," Riza rushed, shooing her daughter out the door and passed single suitcase she'd packed for her children. "Aunt Vanessa is waiting on you at the station already and we're late."
That fact alone was enough to turn Riza restless. The last-minute change of destination was also grating on her, sparking anxiety in her stomach and worry in her heart.
"Sorry but I couldn't find Mr. Brown," she replied, hugging her bear tight to her chest.
"That's okay, but now we need to walk quickly, all right?"
"Okay, Mummy!"
Marching on ahead, Mia's rucksack slapped gently against her back as she skipped along the pavement.
Riza extended the handle of their suitcase and started to pull it along behind her as she pushed the pram with one hand. It wasn't ideal but it would have to be.
Mia and Maes were going to Xing with Vanessa. Mia thought her aunt and grandmother were taking them on holiday, but in reality it was all a ploy to protect them and get them out of Central. Just in case.
Whatever was being planned by the homunculi it was on a grand scale. Roy was fairly certain it would not affect civilians in the slightest, however his counterattack would send Central into disarray in order to throw Bradley off the top. It wouldn't be safe for them. And if it wasn't safe for them, it wasn't for anyone… Any number of things could happen on this 'Promised Day' Roy kept talking about, and it just made Riza's anxiety worse.
She may lose him. He was staging a coup. It could succeed but it could also fail. He'd ran through it with her and from Riza's end it sounded strong and fool proof but… Any number of things could happen. Riza tried not to think about it, but at the same time she couldn't help herself.
Vanessa was initially going to take just Mia with her, then a heatwave had been recorded in the desert and it was determined it would be too much for Mia to handle. With the train tracks to Xing being buried underneath sand there was no other option than for them to find somewhere else to go.
Riza didn't care, so long as Mia out of the way of potential harm. It had broken Riza's heart to keep Maes at home with her but there was no way she could send her toddler through the desert.
Once everything was settled and it was decided they'd head up north instead, so Mia could see and play in the snow, news came that there had been a border skirmish with Drachma and the country was on high alert because of it.
A third and final plan was made in the last week. It would take both her children to Xing with Chris and the rest of their aunts. It was announced the tracks had been cleared and the trains were running smoothly, so, after essentially experiencing whiplash of emotions and changing plans, Riza wanted them on a train and heading out as soon as possible.
It was all for their safety, she reassured herself, but it still hurt at the thought of saying goodbye.
"Be good for Grandma and Aunt Vanessa, okay?"
Patting down Mia's jacket, Riza smoothed her hands over it, ironing out invisible kinks while Vanessa looked on with sympathy.
"I will Mum!" Mia's beaming smile was committed to Riza's memory.
Her eyes lit up suddenly as her attention was diverted and drawn elsewhere, over her mother's shoulder. Riza lifted an eyebrow at Mia's sudden elation.
"Dad!" Mia almost screamed.
He was jogging up to the platform and looking like he'd run all the way from Central Command.
"I made it," he panted, pressing a hand to his chest as he tried to catch his breath.
Mia ran around her mother, leaping into his waiting arms. Roy's smile was broad as he spun her in place over his head, laughing with joy.
"You too, baby Maes."
Riza pulled the toy away from his face to get a better look at it. His frown was committed to memory as well, a choked laugh leaving her. Every time someone tried to stop him playing with a toy, that little frown appeared. Aside from that, he was the happiest baby in the world. He barely cried and was so mellow. He took after his sister that way.
She would miss them both so much.
Swallowing past the lump in her throat, Riza bent down to place a kiss on his forehead. Maes blinked up at her, breaking out into a massive grin. His arms reached out, asking excitedly to be picked up, and it almost caused Riza's heart to break.
"I can't just now, Maes," she explained quietly. She quickly cleared her throat. "You're going on holiday with Aunt Vanessa –"
"Riza, please," Vanessa begged, interrupting her. She had tears in her eyes. "Pick him up and give him a cuddle."
Nodding, Riza took a deep breath and unstrapped her son. He giggled and closed his eyes, burrowing his face happily into the crook of her neck. A tear did threaten to drop down Riza's cheek then. Eyes squeezed tightly closed, she forced herself to hold it together when she heard Roy and Mia's excited laughter behind her back.
"I love you, Maes. So much. And I can't wait to see you again."
Maes pulled away, pressing a hand to Riza's cheek. It was enough to make her freeze in place while he broke out into another grin and nuzzled his head against her neck one more time.
Riza gave him a squeeze, feeling her knees shake. She locked them tightly, squeezing everything tight to keep herself from breaking down in front of everyone.
She didn't want to say goodbye to her kids.
Roy's hand appeared suddenly on her shoulder. He gave it a quick squeeze as his thumb caressed it gently. Riza let out a breath and turned to face him, feeling steadier and calmer with him next to her. She wasn't alone in all of this.
"My turn," he announced cheerily, reaching out for Maes. But Riza could hear the strain in his voice.
"Come here, Mia," Riza smiled, beckoning her daughter forward. "I'll miss you so much. Be good and look after your little brother for me," she grinned, forcing out the smile.
"I will!"
"I'll call you every day after you've arrived. Try not to have too much fun that you forget all about your old Mum and Dad," Riza quipped, pinching Mia's nose playfully.
"I could never forget you, Mum," Mia replied fiercely, crushing her mother into a hug.
"Thank you, my Mia Bear. I will never forget you either. I love you."
"Love you too." Her hand had clung to the skin at the back of Riza's neck. She felt the pressure increase, the tips of Mia's fingers clinging onto her.
"Make sure you have fun, all right?" Riza pressed a kiss to her daughter's forehead. "I expect to see lots of pictures when you come back."
"Oh, and I'll bring you back a present!"
Riza's heart melted. "You don't have to."
"But I want to!"
"Okay, okay," Riza eased off, raising her hand in surrender. "Well then…" Riza tightened her jacket over her shoulders after her farewell with her father left it off centre. The straps of Mia's rucksack were adjusted too and Riza patted them once. "I can't wait to see what you bring back."
Vanessa wheeled the pram onto the train, Mia following closely behind. Once inside, both parents watched as they walked through the carriage to their designated booth. Mia clambered up onto the bench. With knees resting on the wood, her smile was large as she waved at them both in farewell. She and Roy mirrored her daughter.
Only when the train was out of sight did Riza's hand lower slowly to hang limp by her side. The same happened to her smile.
"You okay?"
Riza nodded, feeling numb. The distance between them was already leaving her breathless.
"As well as I can be, I suppose."
Both of Roy's hands lifted to her shoulders as he stood behind her, watching in the direction the train had sped off in.
"It's for their own safety." His voice was low and sombre.
"I know," she sighed. "That's what's most important to me. To us."
"I can't help but feel that it's because of me, though."
Riza shook her head, finally turning away from the tracks. She gave him a smile, trying to ease the guilt and unease of his face.
"Regardless of your plans, I would want them out of the way for whatever they're thinking of doing. No," Riza added with confidence, turning back to look after the train, "this was the best decision we could have made."
"I love you," he whispered into her hair.
She turned further into his embrace, looping her arms loosely around his waist. Head bent; Roy tucked her underneath his chin.
"I miss them already," she mumbled.
"Me too. It will be so strange not having them around the house. Think of all the sleep we can get!"
Riza snorted a laugh, appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood. "We can catch up on so much."
"Sounds perfect," he quipped as he gave her a squeeze. His tone was full of sorrow as he spoke, mirroring Riza's feelings.
It was anything but perfect. They would both miss them, but they'd get through it. It may have been an excessive plan, but as Roy said to her once, years ago, with her family on the line, she was very paranoid about their safety.
Riza entered their silent home feeling the weight of her children's absence. Hayate bounded to greet her, and was happy to do so, but he still sniffed around her legs and whined, looking at the door for his best friend.
"They're away," Riza explained to him, shrugging out of her jacket.
Like he was with Mia, Hayate was very protective of Maes. When sitting together in the evening Hayate would sit in front of whoever was holding Maes. It was as if he was guarding their youngest, taking the occasional sniff before settling. When Mia called he was happy to answer but not without one last glance and a quiet whine in Maes' direction.
He was the best dog in the world, Riza was sure of it. No other dog could or ever would compare to him.
The silence of the house was oppressive, almost closing in on her. Sitting on the couch, finally still and alone with her thoughts, Riza's shoulders slumped. The feeling of loneliness was the worst thing. It reminded her of a time when she was in her father's home, working hard and keeping to herself. When she was truly alone as a child. Even with just Maes at home, Riza had him to look after. Every so often a disgruntled noise would leave him as he played with his feet on his playmat or he'd let out a tiny sigh. Riza listened out for those moments the most, feeling pure and unadulterated joy every time she heard it. Now, there was nothing. Longing crept into her heart, wrapping around it almost painfully.
She missed her children terribly and it had only been an hour or so.
Hayate padded over. He'd been hanging around the door, waiting to see if anyone else would walk through it, and Riza had left him to it. She knew no amount of coaxing would tear him away as he waited.
Hayate's head cocked after he sat down at Riza's feet, staring up at her. His tongue lolled out the side of his mouth and he smiled widely up at her, panting happily.
Riza's smile never made it to her eyes, but she did try.
Hayate noticed. His tongue disappeared and he whined quietly. A wet tongue licked at the fingers resting upon her knee.
"Hey, boy," Riza murmured.
He was scratched behind his ear with Riza running her hand vigorously over his head.
"Looks like it's just me and you, for now."
Hayate cocked his head once more before lifting his paws up onto her knees, smiling widely at her. Riza had no choice but to lean forward and hug him tightly.
"You're the best dog," she whispered into his fur, pressing a kiss against it.
The radio was switched on to a random channel in an effort to fill the silence. Hayate trotted around the house after her like a shadow, not leaving her side once.
"Hello, Riza," Chris greeted through the phone. "Did the kids get away all right this morning?"
"They did, yes." Pain gripped her heart at the reminder of their goodbye.
"I just wanted to call and check in on you."
"Me?" That surprised her.
"Yeah. It especially couldn't have been easy to say goodbye to the little one so soon."
Under normal circumstances, possible threat aside, Riza agreed.
"So, I just wanted to see how you were doing," Chris continued.
"I'm fine," Riza reassured. "Missing them, but fine. I don't know what to do with my time now though. I've never had this much free time before."
Even as a child her hours were filled with looking after the upkeep of her father's house, repairing things here and there, while also travelling into town to procure enough food to feed three mouths. Any meat was gained by hunting in the forests and all the extra parts of the animal she didn't need were sold on at the market in town. Anything to bring in some extra income for their family, because God knows her father certainly didn't. His focus was alchemy only, not on what he would eat or that the house was literally falling apart at the seams. When Roy had come along her workload had cut in half as they used alchemy to patch it up.
"I wish I could keep you busy with some errands, but everything is done."
A sense of sorrow washed over Riza. Part of Roy's plan was to blow up Chris' bar so they could both escape into the sewers. It had become like a second home to Riza and she would be sad to see it go. It held a familiarity to it, somewhere she could go in her hour of need and somewhere she'd found nothing but love and acceptance.
"I understand. Don't worry about me," Riza reassured, "I'll find something. When are you making a trip of your own?"
"Soon."
Chris was travelling by train to Xing on the eve of the Promised Day.
"It's long overdue," she added, "I need a holiday."
"The kids will be happy to see you. Mia couldn't wait for you to arrive."
Chris paused on the other side of the line. Riza heard her soft exhale. "Want me to pass anything on?"
Riza wished there were something more she could send to her children through their grandmother, but there was nothing. "Just tell them I love them. And I miss them."
"I will, Riza. Don't you worry about that."
"Thank you."
"I'll take good care of them. I expect great things from Roy, but I won't forget your part in it all either," she added. "Keep him right for me."
"I will," Riza promised.
"You ground him. I can see that clearly. I don't think you'll have any problem with it but this whole Hughes situation…"
Riza's chest tightened at the memory of the last time it was brought up.
"He's an emotional kid. Smart as hell and can pluck a sound strategy out of thin air but when it comes to those he loves, he's emotional."
"I know."
Chris scoffed. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this. You obviously already know."
She was worried about him. It was plain as day. Although quite sharp with Roy and not the most maternal person in the world, she cared deeply for her son and loved him a lot.
"I'll look after him, Chris. I promise." Riza masked the sound of her knowing tone behind her vow.
There was a beat of silence before Chris spoke. "Thanks, Riza."
"It's far too quiet without them," Roy muttered, chewing his food thoughtfully as he stared down at the tablecloth.
Like her, he was missing the usual hustle and bustle of their dinner table. Mia would be chatting animatedly about anything she could think of, filling the room with laughter and noise. Riza would sit feeding Maes with a bottle while her food kept warm in the oven. Roy would eat, his replies overexaggerated and excited as he encouraged Mia to share everything about her day. Once Maes was fed, Riza would pass their son over to Roy once he'd finished eating, and he'd entertain him while Riza ate her own dinner.
"How do you think I feel all day?" Riza smirked at him, spooning more gravy onto her plate.
"You're right," he sighed. "Well, at least Hayate is still here." Peering around the table, Roy looked over at their dog who was eating his own dinner off to the side. "So that's something."
"Very true. If he weren't, I don't know what I'd do. Probably go stir crazy in the silence."
Roy's gaze flicked back over to look at her. "Does it remind you of… being at home with your father?"
"It does," she replied, picking up her knife and fork. "It's a weird feeling," she frowned.
"Does it bother you?"
She thought over his question. "It did a little at first," she admitted. "I feel guilty sometimes though for saying I enjoy the quiet," she snorted softly. "I can hear myself think. But…"
Riza sighed. Her hands stilled and the eating utensils came to rest on her plate.
"It did bother me. It was too quiet and too lonely. But then I remember how far we've come." Her hands started to move, cutting into her steak. "And I remember that we're fighting for their future. It's worth going through this now for that and for them."
Roy nodded, head bobbing as he stared thoughtfully at his food in silence.
The mood of their house was a quiet but solemn one that night. The Promised Day was tomorrow, setting Riza on edge. Roy was leaving late that evening to head to Chris' to begin to slowly set his plan into motion. Thoughts of doom and gloom has surrounded her all week but Riza banished them that night.
Roy had been stressed out of his mind in the evenings, finalising plans and coordinating his attack. He'd silently and obsessively poured over maps and notes in his office, so Riza had entered quietly and rubbed at his tense shoulders without a word. She wasn't there to disturb and interrupt, just there to try and offer some comfort and relaxation.
He'd always told her he grounded her, so she'd tried her best to do just that. She was the calm before the storm for him, cool and collected, while she hid her inner turmoil deep within her. He didn't need her hovering over him, worrying about his mental state despite it being a real concern for her after that week.
Although, his hands had pulled at her shirt most nights, tugging it from the waistband of her skirt. Hands ran up her sides feverishly, gripping tightly and running over her skin smoothly. They'd fallen into bed together more than once, both desperate for a connection to one another. He'd assured her he'd be all right as they cuddled in bed at night, pressing a placating and loving kiss into her hair. It didn't soothe her anxiety and fears, but she still appreciated and loved him for his effort.
Riza carried the dishes from their dinner through to the kitchen while Roy wiped down the table. Once in they were in the sink his hands tugged at her hips gently, but hard enough for Riza to take a tiny step back to steady herself.
"Roy," she scolded lightly with a laugh as she reached for the hot water tap.
His hand retrained her, and he threaded his fingers through hers, guiding it away from her chore to rest above his heart. Turning to face him Riza saw a playful smile tugging at the corner of his lips. She was twirled in front of him, like they were dancing, before he tugged her tightly into her chest.
"We need to clean up –"
Roy shook his head. "We don't. Not tonight."
"But it will –"
"Please," he whispered, begging her.
The hidden and silent storm of emotions in his eyes was enough to make Riza begin to understand. He wanted her tonight, for as long as possible. If tonight was their last of peace then he wanted to spend it with her. He didn't want to do boring things like chores of pour over his plans one final time.
"What do you need?"
Riza surrendered to him, allowing his footwork to move her slowly to the centre of the room.
"You."
The reply, spoken so simply and easily, broke down her defence and she succumbed to her husband's love and desire to hold her tightly.
A hand was placed on her back securely, pulling her body closer to his. Angling her head, Riza rested it on Roy's shoulder. His chin bumped the top of her head gently, finding its resting place there. A satisfied hum rumbled through his chest, the sound loud underneath Riza's ear, while his hand pulled hers back atop his heart. Underneath their joined hands, Riza felt the steady thump of it. A warmth she couldn't explain washed over her entire body. Here, like this, she felt at home. A part of her was still missing – her children – but it felt a little more bearable to deal with in Roy's arms. Listening to his blood pump through his veins calmed her, a reminder that she wasn't alone.
The two of them slowly swayed together to the faint sound of the radio in their living room, finding some semblance of peace before it would be shattered with the coming dawn.
They moved for what felt like hours, simply existing together. There was no one to interrupt, no one to drag their attention away. This moment was bittersweet, reminding her of the night before he left for Ishval. Déjà vu flooded her, making her eyes close as she fought through the painful memories that had been the toughest few months of her life. However, without that pain she'd experienced, she wouldn't be here today. Riza wouldn't have two children she loved unconditionally. It hadn't been meaningless, that suffering. It had set her on the path she found herself on today, supporting her husband and nurturing her children.
With the lows came the good times. She remembered hearing Mia's laugh for the first time. The way she'd flashed her gums, her tiny but perfect face squinting up at her mother happily. Watching Roy sleepily cradling Maes, trying to get him to fall back asleep during the night. Meeting Roy's team for the first time, welcoming those people into her life and forming such a strong bond that they felt like uncles to her children. Laughing and joking with Rebecca throughout the years, and welcoming a new friend, Sheska, into her life.
Riza wouldn't have traded it for the world. No matter how tough some aspects had been.
Retiring to bed, they remained together. Riza's hands were relentless, grasping at Roy's skin as she tried to be closer to him in every way. His sweat drenched hair tickled the skin of her face, his lips buried into the crook of her neck. Kisses were littered across her skin, feather light but placed with so much tenderness and care it made her whimper. She returned the favour, worshipping her husband's body in the way he did hers.
The hour was late when Riza was disturbed from her bliss. The mattress dipped behind her, tugging her from sleep. Immediately her eyes opened, and her head turned to see Roy sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands gripping it tightly.
Riza sat up, feeling cold air wash over her skin with the late-night chill.
"It's time for you to go?"
Roy's shoulders tensed, bunching up at his ears as his chin tucked into his chest in defeat. "Yes."
He sounded hollow, defeated already. The weight of all he had to do carried in his voice, settling on Riza's heart and making it ache.
Scooting over and wrapping the sheet around her exposed body, Riza's hand lifted to rest on Roy's spine, in between his shoulder blades. The instantaneous reaction was for his shoulders to loosen and peel down from his ears. His chin lifted, looking out at the darkened room before him.
"Be safe," she whispered as her thumb caressed the muscles of his spine. "And come back home to me."
Slowly, Roy turned, bringing his gaze to hesitantly meet hers. They had no idea how this would all go but she would always think of the best for him. She wanted him to succeed, to take the biggest step he'd taken so far in his fight to give Amestris back to the people. Riza had so much faith and trust in him and his abilities. She often thought that if anyone could do all of this, Roy could. With such a far-reaching vision he was the best man for the job, and she'd support him to the top.
Their foreheads touched gently, taking a quiet moment together in the silence of the dawn.
"I have never loved anyone as much as I have loved you, Riza," he whispered. "You drive me every day and gave me two wonderful children." His expression was so open and vulnerable after pulling away. "I will always return to you."
"I'll hold you to that promise," she smirked, pushing past the pain constricting her chest.
His lips found hers, pressing hard in their desperation.
"Go and save the world, Roy Mustang," she breathed.
Their breaths mingled together and sparked up a heat she desperately wanted to give into but couldn't. He had to go.
"I love you."
"Love you too, Riza Mustang." He smirked playfully, despite the desire in his eyes to climb right back into bed with her. "So much. I'll see you soon."
His words were spoken like a vow and his eyes made direct contact with hers as he tried to convey just how much he meant that statement.
foreshadowing. ? 👀
