Epilogue: Untitled

!

Bursting out of water, throwing head back—

Did our teacher really leave without a word? That's what the others were talking about. Some of the others.

I'm sorry. I'm still trying hard to be careful with my words. I don't want to be a liar. I don't want to be remembered that way a hundred years from now.

I used to lie about all sorts of things. My family's apartment is very small, and there are four of us. Mom, Dad, me, and my sister. She's very little still. She's just started going to school, so it's nice when I come back home, before I go to the private academy for more lessons, and I can sit at home and quietly eat a snack. I don't have to worry about making sure she's fine.

Our teacher disappeared. Our foreign teacher. School closed, and everyone went home.

The teachers went back to their homes too— they don't live in the school, of course. And everything got quiet…

But now, if we can, we're taking classes on computers. And the news is… The foreign language teacher is gone. Someone else, someone from our own country, is going to teach for now. Until they find another foreigner. There's some in the city already, but…

What happened to him? Mr. Kuppa…

Everyone wants to know. He was one of my favorite teachers. Not just because he was a foreigner, but… I think he's like me. I think he's sad. I think he's honest, too.

I'm good at the Mushroom language, so I could talk with him… I've practiced a lot in private school.

How did he come here? Huh…

It's been more crowded than ever at home. We have four rooms: Two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a kitchen-living room. My sister sleeps with my parents, so I get a room to myself. But soon she'll be old enough and we'll have to share.

I don't want that, but I know it has to happen.

Mr. Kuppa, easily embarrassed. Always seemed a little scared, but scared of something honest. Scared for the good. Some adults are scared all the time, but it's because they're doing something wrong all the time. Mr. Kuppa was scared for the future, I think. Or the past. I don't know.

I'm scared sometimes too. If I don't study hard enough, I'll end up a garbageman. That's what my Mom says. She says if I don't want to spend my life like the people in the streets, I have to study and get good grades.

Well… I'm trying. But if it's really late, I'll pass out over my homework.

People are going outside again. I think it's safe. My parents are worried, but they let me go out now. I've started taking walks. I take my classes on the computer, and then I go for a walk. I wonder if I'll see Mr. Kuppa…? I think about it sometimes. I used to see him when he left the school. I guess his apartment was near the school, because he didn't go underground to the train.

I wonder why he didn't say goodbye? Where did he go?

I realized I've forgotten a lot. When I was eight, I had a lot of memories about being three and four-years-old. But a while ago I realized I couldn't remember most of those memories. Instead I have more memories of being eleven and twelve now, like the newer memories pushed out the old.

Will I remember Mr. Kuppa for long? Maybe in ten years I won't remember any of this anymore. Or maybe I'll remember, because I'll wonder if the Night got him, and no one at school wanted to say so.

But I don't think so. I remember:

"Be like the Eye of the tornado."

Mr. Kuppa, a new sound in his voice. Shortly before he left. Pacing back and forth.

"Be like the Eye of the tornado— The calm in the center that everything circles around. The center of the force."

But he was speaking in Mushroom. I might have been the only one who could understand. And I still don't really understand, just the words. The Eye of the tornado? But how can I be calm? If I don't work hard, I won't get good grades, and I'll end up poor. I'll move people's garbage for a living.

And how could a motionless center cause everything to spin? Well, I do feel it… I do feel the truth of it. It's true the center of the tornado is calm. But I don't really understand. And I can't do what I don't understand, right?

Or, is it like building something from scratch? Piece by piece… Unaware of the whole, we connect part to part, guessing, and somehow, something New is created.

With the Idea alone, can we slowly build, one part at a time, until one day— the Whole is created?

I think understanding is like that. You don't understand something, though you try, and you gather ideas, but you still don't understand.

And then one day…

One day, it's like a hand pulls you straight up into the air, and you see everything below you and see how it was all connected all along.

A sudden miracle— the Whole. Like the Hole of the Tornado. The Eye, the same.

I don't understand these pieces, or why they seem to connect. But, slowly…

I don't want to feel sad and bitter, about where I am in the world. I want to remember the Whole.

The Whole that exists all along, that the parts slowly come to form. As long as we keep moving, turning the pages of our own storybooks, the pieces will come together, I think. Someday.

Mom says I think too much for my age.

But I don't care, because I don't get bullied so much anymore. Not really at all.

But I am ignored more.

That's okay. I have enough friends. And when the air is cool outside, especially going by the river, I feel a little closer to understanding.

It's time to clear my head. I'm going to take a walk.

The End

Credits

(Credits Theme: "Halogen (I Could Be a Shadow)" by Neon Indian)

Written By: Magikoopa981

Influx - Contemporary Albums

Doolittle (Pixies, 1989)

Emergency & I (The Dismemberment Plan, 1999)

Heaven or Las Vegas (Cocteau Twins, 1990)

Kid A (Radiohead, 2000)

Lonerism (Tame Impala, 2012)

Loveless (My Bloody Valentine, 1991)

Merriweather Post Pavilion (Animal Collective, 2009)

Music Has the Right to Children (Boards of Canada, 1998)

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (Kanye West, 2010)

OK Computer (Radiohead, 1997)

Reflektor (Arcade Fire, 2013)

Run the Jewels 2 (Run the Jewels, 2014)

The Soft Bulletin (The Flaming Lips, 1999)

Source Tags & Codes (...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead, 2002)

Tomorrow's Harvest (Boards of Canada, 2013)

Influx - Contemporary Films

Alice (Jan Svankmajer, 1988)

Dancer in the Dark (Lars von Trier, 2000)

Deep Red (Dario Argento, 1975)

Night is Short, Walk On Girl (Masaaki Yuasa, 2017)

Se7en (David Fincher, 1995)

Taxi Driver (Martin Scorsese, 1976)

The Trial (Orson Welles, 1962)

Twin Peaks: The Return (David Lynch, 2017)

Us (Jordan Peele, 2019)

Special Thanks

Reviewers: Amethyst Goldenwind, C. Mechayoshi, CraSyMario, David88, greatGatsbia, James Birdsong, Minman083, williamcll

Musicians: ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead, Animal Collective, Arcade Fire, Arvo Pärt, The Beach Boys, The Beatles, Boards of Canada, Caught A Ghost, The Dismemberment Plan, Fall Out Boy, The Flaming Lips, Gorillaz, Kanye West, Lissie, Múm, My Bloody Valentine, Neon Indian, Pixies, Post Animal, Radiohead, Raury, Run the Jewels, Sakanaction, Thomas Newman, TV on the Radio

Composed 2019-2020.