Ai Hod Yu In
Chapter 35
A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I have been gone so long. Not gonna lie, I have been struggling to motivate myself to write this story. A lot's been going on in my life, and unfortunately I've let my writing take the back burner. I'm not making any promises, but I am gonna try to write more often at least. I need something to distract me from the way they've treated us all for this latest season of The 100. I honestly can't even finish watching it right now I'm so angry. Anyways, sorry for the mini rant. Here's the latest chapter. Hope you enjoy.
Aden was doing something to the shroud covering Lexa's body when she walked in, and she spent a moment looking around. All these kids, every one of them should have been able to just be kids. Instead, only one of them would live past today. It was a heartbreaking prospect, and Clarke felt a moment of guilt for how desperate she was that Aden was her choice. She was rooting for these other children to die.
Titus went into the room first, and Clarke saw him kneel before Aden, kneel before the whit cloth that currently hid Lexa's dead body. Hid Lexa's face, which lit up the room when she smiled. Hid Lexa's eyes, the beautiful green shade that she had fallen in love with from the first time she saw them. She closed her eyes for a moment, refocusing, before she walked up to Aiden.
"I'm sorry to disturb you," she murmured.
"Would you like a moment with her?" he asked her. Clarke looked mournfully at her lover's now-cold body. Lexa was gone, and that was not why she was here. It didn't stop the temptation from being there, though.
"No," she denied, lifting her head up high, "I'm here to see you. You made me a promise, to support my people. To continue on with Lexa's work. I wanted to see if you still meant that."
"If Heda's spirit chooses me."
"Yes. Will you still?"
"We all will. Lexa made each of us vow it." Aden looked over at the other novitiates, and Clarke followed his gaze. Each of the others stood up and bowed their heads towards her. Lexa had made sure that Clarke would not have to worry about her people. She'd said as much, but Clarke hadn't realized the depths the woman had gone to to ensure Clarke herself would be okay if she were to die. The grief nearly overpowered her, and all she could do was force it down. She had lost too many people. Her Dad, Wells, Finn, Nala, Marcus, Gustus, and now Lexa. At this point before she knew it there would be no one left. If it wasn't for the fact that it was now too late for any other options, she might even have wondered if Madi might have been better off somewhere else. Somewhere far from her. It was a thought she dismissed quickly, of course. Without Madi, she didn't know if she would even have been able to keep going this long. Each different face popped in her head, and then the faces of the people she had seen in Mount Weather began to play. She dismissed those quickly as well. There was no point in dwelling on those that she had directly killed. And there was no time right now to deal with the grief that came with losing Lexa. There would be time to deal when she wasn't surrounded by a bunch of children who would soon be as dead as Lexa herself. These children had their own things to deal with, and they didn't need to deal with her as well. Instead, Clarke turned back to the boy who Lexa had been sure would succeed her.
"You loved her," he said, and all she could do was nod sadly. However, at that moment, there was a commotion at the doors. She turned around and saw that it was Roan and the Azgeda Natblida girl. They strolled in as if seeing nothing wrong with disturbing the send off of the commander, and Clarke supposed she couldn't judge as she too had done that. The circumstances were completely different, but she had intruded as well.
"You," the girl snarled upon seeing Clarke, lunging forward towards her. Aiden stepped in the girl's way, doing little more than getting thrown aside. Ontari tackled Clarke instead, drawing a blade and going to stab her. Titus stopped her, grabbing her arm that held the blade.
"No."
"Put the knife down, Ontari," Roan said, walking forward.
"Your mother is dead because of her," the girl snapped, turning towards him instead.
"You will obey your king." The girl sighed and moved to stand up.
"An unfortunate fact we have her to thank for as well," she glared at Clarke as she said it, "No matter. When I am Heda and the king bows to me, you and every last member of Skaikru will die."
