If pregnancy loss or domestic violence is a sensitive subject for you, you might want to skip this chapter...


Saturday, May 7th, 2005

"You're certain that it was your husband who did this to you?" Lara couldn't help it. She had to give the officer the most severe "what the fuck do you think" look she had ever given in her life.

"Of course, I'm sure," she said. "I married him." She almost flinched as the officer reached out to put what was probably intended to be a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Ma'am, I understand this is hard for you," he said.

"It'd be easier if you stopped touching me." To her relief, the officer obeyed.

"I understand this is hard," he tried again. "But we need a hundred percent certainty in the identification of the suspect."

"I know," she said. "I work in law enforcement, too, so believe me when I tell you that without a doubt in my mind, the person who attacked me was Dante Conroy."

"Okay, ma'am," the officer said. "I believe you." Lara let out a frustrated huff of air. "Now, can you try to describe what happened in detail?"

"I got home at around five," she said. "Dante was sitting in the living room, watching TV. As soon as I walked in, we got into a fight…" Lara had to shut her eyes and shake her head against the wave of dizziness and nausea that came over her. She wasn't sure if it was from the concussion she'd certainly received when she fell down the stairs, or from the "minor" stomach bug that she thought she got over a few days ago, but it was unbelievably daunting. So much so that the officer took notice.

"You okay, ma'am?" Pushing down the feelings of sickness, Lara slowly forced herself to nod.

"Yeah," she said. "I'm fine. I can go on." The officer still looked at her skeptically but nodded anyway.

"Alright," he said. "Just take your time." Lara took a deep breath and willed away the rolling and churning of her stomach. Well, at least she tried to.

"I tried to leave," she said. "He grabbed me, so I punched him."

"You punched him?" Lara nodded in confirmation. "So, you initiated a physical confrontation?" She went as pale as a ghost.

"I… Yes." Her heart tightened. She couldn't justify that.

I attacked my husband. She waited for the officer to place her under arrest or at least reprimand her in some way, but no such thing happened. He just jotted down notes in his pad.

"And did he retaliate in any way?" The officer asked.

"Um, well…" Hesitation gripped Lara like a vice, trying to keep her from pushing words out of her mouth. She fought against the current hard, needing to get what happened out in the open air as soon as possible, at least so she could survive. "We were standing in the hallway of our apartment building. We live on the second floor, so there's a set of stairs there. When I… Hit… Him… I, I was standing at the top of the stairs, but facing away from them. We briefly argued about the fact that I… Hit… Him… Which led him to retaliate by pushing me down the stairs."

Her stomach jerked and for a moment, Lara could taste bile at the very back of her mouth. She squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed as fast and as hard as she could. That probably wasn't good for her stomach, but she didn't care. It stalled her upchucking for another forty-five seconds at least. Again, the officer looked concerned.

"Ma'am, are you alright?" Lara forced a very feeble nod.

"Oh yeah," she said. "Can I just be excused to the latrine for a moment?"

The officer barely nodded before Lara was up and out of her seat. She didn't need to ask where it was because she already knew. She went back to her workplace after the fight happened. Right away, she called the police and an officer was dispatched to the New York Secret Service office. After that, she tried to call her younger brother, but couldn't reach him. There were other people she could call; her step-parents, her older brother, Todd, but they were respectively in Boston, France, and on assignment on Air Force One, so she couldn't expect them to immediately come rushing to her rescue. So, she had to go through all of this on her own, as usual.

Rushing into the bathroom, Lara thought she heard someone calling after her, but given that she was about to puke her guts up, she understandably ignored it. She just barely made it to the first sink before she started vomiting and it felt like an eternity before she finally stopped. Her heart was still furiously beating against her ribs and her hands were shaking as she reached for the knob to wash the remnants down the drain. A tear slipped out of her right eye as she forced herself to straighten up. She avoided looking in the mirror. She didn't want to remember how she looked in this moment for the rest of her life. Instead, she kept her gaze on the floor. Ironically, that just put another image in her mind that she would carry with her for all eternity.

Blood was on the floor. It started off as little drops sprinkled about on the tile, but as the trail got closer to where she was standing, the droplets turned into more sizable puddles. Her face transitioned to an almost impossible shade of white and her stomach churned in an entirely different way.

"Shit!"

Lara rushed into the bathroom stall at top speed. Of all the times to finally get her period, this had to be the worst. She slammed the stall door shut and locked it before she practically ripped her pants down and sat on the toilet. When she finally got the whole picture of what was going on, she almost fainted.

There were blood and a lot of it. Certainly, more than what she would consider normal for her period. Most alarmingly, it all looked fresh and it had clearly soaked through her underwear and her pants. Now she knew why someone had called after her; they wanted to tell her that she was covered in blood.

Realizing that it probably wasn't safe to lose that amount of blood, Lara stood up and pulled her pants back on. Her plan was to run out and ask the police officer to call for an ambulance, but as her vision began to blur, it became clear that it wasn't going to be that simple.

Taking two careful, yet very heavy steps forward, Lara tried to walk out of the stall but instead slammed straight into the door. She attempted to push it open before remembering that she locked it. She reached for the lock but couldn't quite find it. Looking over at the space between the door and the stall, she searched for the lock to find that she couldn't see at all. Her entire field of vision was reduced to the size of a pinprick.

Thinking fast, Lara found the gap between the door and the stall and ran her fingers up and down it until she found the lock. She yanked it back and pulled the door open, but unfortunately, that was as far as she made it. The movement was too much for her and she ended up falling. The last thing she could remember was pain blooming across her cheek and chin as she hit the floor, and the distant sound of someone screaming.


Friday, February 3rd, 2012

The first movie Clint ended up picking was Fight Club. No one really protested his choice, but Bruce would admit that he had some weird déjà vu-like sense throughout the film. Surprisingly, Clint stayed awake through the whole thing. He was even up for watching a second movie. However, there was a bit more of a dispute this time as Lara and Clint got into an argument about whether Die Hard was a Christmas movie. Apparently, Lara had a thing against watching Christmas movies between New Years and Thanksgiving (Angels With Filthier Souls apparently didn't count as it was only Christmas in the first thirty minutes.) In the end, Clint won, but only because Steve hadn't seen the film and Clint declared it a "crime against humanity."

Tony used the intermission between films to order the food. The order went out to Ray's Pizzeria and Tony swore it was going to be the best pizza any of them were ever going to have in their lives. They were all understandably skeptical about that, but no one tried to argue with him. They settled on three large pepperoni pizzas for Tony and Clint, six large cheese pizzas for Bruce, Steve, and Natasha, and one small cheese-less pizza for Lara. With their order on the way, they started on the second film.

About twenty minutes into the movie, JARVIS informed them that their delivery had arrived and was waiting for them in the main security office (which was now protocol for all mail and deliveries of any type addressed to the penthouse.) Bruce offered to go and get the food. He had seen the movie before and didn't mind missing a few minutes. Given that Lara wasn't entirely enthusiastic about watching the film, she offered to join him.

Leaving the room and heading to the local elevator, Bruce noticed Lara getting a notification on her phone and looked back to see her typing a response. Normally, that wouldn't bother him at all. After all, Lara was a grown woman. She could text whoever she wanted. Still, he couldn't help but be concerned. Given the way she snapped at him for giving Betty her number and how much stress she'd been under ever since her ex made a reappearance in her life, it was only natural to assume that she was having some sort of difficulty involving that. As he hit the button to call for the elevator, he tried to figure out the best way to approach the subject without upsetting her. However, something unexpected happened. He heard her laugh.

Bruce looked back again to make sure he was not mistaken. He was expecting to see her distressed in some way. He figured the laugh was ironic or something but looking at her face he realized it was genuine. Whatever response she got on her phone, she found it funny. That came as a relief to him. It was the first time he had seen her as anything resembling happy in days. It was good to see.

The next thing that Bruce knew, the elevator was chiming, and he and Lara were stepping inside. Just as the door clicked shut, Lara spoke up.

"Listen, Bruce," she said. "I'm sorry I snapped at you the other day." He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Wha…? Oh, don't worry about that." Lara shook her head.

"No, no," she said. "I really owe you an apology. I've been texting Betty and… She really is a nice person. I can tell you had no bad intentions in giving her my number."

"I still shouldn't have done that without your permission, though." Lara shrugged.

"Probably not," she said. "But I forgive you." Bruce felt like he'd received a static-electric shock, but still found it in him to nod.

"Thank you," he said. "I appreciate it." Lara cracked a smile, which sent another jolt through his body.

"You're welcome."

The elevator doors opened back up again, depositing them on the first level of the penthouse. They walked out into the hallway and around to the foyer where the express elevator was located.

"So, you and Betty are getting along good?" Bruce asked.

"Yeah," Lara said. "I mean, we've only been texting for the past twenty minutes, but she seems nice enough."

"She is," Bruce said. "Trust me, the more you get to know her, the more awesome she gets."

"I'll trust you on that," Lara said. "Oh, by the way, uh, Betty mentioned something about the wedding?" For some reason, that made Bruce feel like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on him.

"She did?" Lara nodded in confirmation, giving a little "mm-hm." "What did she say exactly?"

"She said she wanted to get to know me better if I'm going to be at her wedding," she said. "I asked her what she meant by that and she said to ask you." Bruce felt his stomach drop and had to use sheer force of will keep his pulse down. Thankfully he managed it and didn't turn a single shade of green.

"Um, yeah," he said. "She said she wanted to invite you to the wedding." Lara raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, that's all?" she asked.

"Yeah," Bruce said.

"Oh," Lara said. "I don't know why she didn't just tell me that." Bruce shrugged.

"I guess it's a mystery." Lara hummed in agreement.

"Are you fine with it, though?" Lara asked. "Me going to Betty's wedding?"

"Yeah." Bruce sounded surprised. "Why wouldn't I?" Lara shrugged.

"I just thought maybe it would be weird." Bruce shook his head.

"It won't be," Bruce said. "Not for you, at least." Lara didn't look convinced.

"Mm," she said. "I doubt that, especially since I'm not going to know anyone there."

"Trust me, that might actually be a good thing." Lara turned to give him a confused look and almost walked into the door leading to the foyer. Luckily, Bruce managed to pull the door partially open before she fully crashed into it, allowing her to keep some grace and to rebalance herself using the door's handlebar.

"Thanks," she said.

"You're welcome." Bruce continued to hold the door open for her as she passed the rest of the way through its frame. As a result, Lara got to the elevator first and hit the call button. She then turned to give Bruce the confused look again as he came to stand beside her.

"Are you okay with going to the wedding?" she asked. Bruce had to consider the question for a few moments before he could answer.

"I do," he said. "I want to be there for Betty, but…" He shook his head. "It feels surreal. Like it's from another life that's not my own, even though it is. I mean, I wouldn't be what I am now if that wasn't a part of my life, but at the same time, it feels… Foreign interacting with it, alien almost. Do you…" He frowned before looking back at Lara. He knew what her reply was going to be, but he still had to ask. "Do you understand?"

To his response, Lara's response wasn't an immediate "no." Instead, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then, swallowing hard, she opened her eyes back up and looked right at him.

"Yeah," she said. "I do; all too well."

The sound of the elevator's chime and the doors opening distracted them. They stepped inside, Bruce hitting the button for the level the security office was on. As the doors closed, he gave her a look of concern.

"So," he said. "How have the past few days been for you?" Lara gave a mirthless laugh.

"I assume you mean 'has my ex tried to contact me?'" Bruce gave a reluctant nod. "It's okay to ask. He hasn't tried to contact me. It's still frustrating, though. I can't go home. I can't sleep, period."

"Is anxiety keeping you up?" Bruce asked.

"No, no…" Lara's voice quivered uncomfortably. "But I almost wish it was." Given her clear discomfort, Bruce decided not to question that further, except to ask…

"You're safe though, right?" Lara shrugged.

"As safe as anyone can be given the situation, I guess," she said. "I mean, I'm staying with a Secret Service agent qualified to protect the President, so I don't think I could get safer than that without going on an extended vacation to Riker's Island."

"Good," Bruce said. "I'm glad."

"We'll see how it works out, though," Lara said. "Dante hasn't tried to approach me in days and hopefully it'll stay that way until the hearing."

"Are you nervous about that?" Lara shrugged.

"I just want to get it over with," she said. "The sooner it's done, the sooner I can get him away from me, and honestly I can't wait for that."

"How did you even get involved with a guy like that?" Almost as soon as the question left his mouth, Bruce wished he hadn't asked it. He hadn't considered how she might react and worried that he might have offended her. Instead, she gave a humorless laugh.

"By drinking so much that you blackout and wake up days later in a hotel room in Atlantic City married to a stranger." Bruce's eyes went wide, and his brows shot up to his hairline. He looked for any sign or indication that Lara was kidding. She gave none.

"Shit," was all he could say. Lara nodded in agreement.

"Yeah," she said. "Not the brightest moment in my thirty-six years of life."

"So, you married a stranger and he attacked you?" Lara shook her head.

"No," she said. "He was actually decent. At least, I thought so at the time. I guess you could say that he convinced me to give the marriage a shot. I mean, other than my job, I had nothing going on in my life, so it wasn't a hard sell, and for the first year things were good. The second-year and a half, though, not so much."

"Is that when he attacked you?" Lara nodded.

"And that's when the marriage ended," she said. "I called for divorce and tried to press assault charges."

"Tried?" Bruce questioned.

"Yeah," Lara said. "I ended up having to press much stronger charges."

"Like what?" Lara went sharply white. That's when Bruce realized he crossed a line. He opened his mouth to apologize, but at that point, the elevator finally chimed, and the doors opened. Lara briskly walked out, and Bruce followed her, careful to keep a comfortable distance.

Heading into the security office, all they had to do was sign for the delivery and pay the delivery person. The security person assured them that they had inspected the food and found no signs of tampering. Despite that, Bruce couldn't shake the feeling that this was all security theater and the food hadn't been effectively checked. However, he quickly dismissed that thought as paranoia; a normal result of being targeted by terrorists.

While they went through the motions of getting their food, the tension seemed to ease itself out of Lara's body. The color came back to her face and her breathing slowly evened out. Bruce wondered why she had reacted like that, but he didn't want to push her for answers. Given the way she coiled in on herself, he could only imagine that pushing her would not end well.

Once the safety performance finished up, Bruce and Lara took the pizzas and headed back to the elevator. Since Lara still seemed to be easing up – even remarking on how she couldn't wait to down her pizza whole – Bruce absolutely ascertained to himself that he wasn't going to bring up the topic of her ex again. After all, she seemed to bounce back okay in a short period of time, and he didn't want to ruin that.

However, once the elevator doors closed and they started moving upwards, Lara surprised him.

"Dante attacked me by pushing me down a set of stairs." Bruce turned his head to look at Lara, but her gaze remained fixed straight ahead. "I was hurt, but not that bad. At least, I didn't think so. I didn't have anywhere else to go, so I went back to my office at the Secret Service headquarters. I called the police and tried to make a report but while I was in the middle of that, I started bleeding heavily to the point where I blacked out. I was in and out of consciousness after that, but I did stay awake long enough to find out I was suffering a miscarriage." For a moment, all the air left Bruce's lungs and if he didn't flash a shade of green, it was a miracle.

"You were pregnant?" Lara nodded.

"Five or six weeks," she said. "I hadn't even suspected anything yet." She looked down and Bruce maneuvered his pizzas to put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," was all he could think to say. Lara didn't flinch, but she didn't move her gaze away from the fixed point in front of her.

"I am, too," she said.

"It's not your fault, though," Bruce said.

"It is," Lara said. "I threw the first punch and while that doesn't justify getting pushed down the stairs, I can't deny that it was the domino that started it all."

"Still," Bruce said. "It's not your fault. It'll never be your fault, okay?" Lara squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath, seemingly trying to calm herself.

"Okay," she affirmed as she opened her eyes and finally looked at him. Bruce gave her a reassuring smile before squeezing her shoulder and letting go.

They stood in silence for the rest of the ride, letting the emotional weight sink in. Heading back to Clint's room, the pizzas received mostly positive reviews and were eaten rather quickly, thanks to the three people with altered metabolisms. Clint was able to eat a couple of slices, but he ended up giving most of his share to the dog, much to Natasha's chagrin. ("What? He clearly likes pizza!")

The movie continued without incident. Shortly after eating, Clint nodded off and he was soon followed by Steve, Tony, and Natasha. Lara managed to stay awake with Bruce until the end of the movie. Once the credits started rolling, Lara stood up and stretched.

"I better get going," she said. "My cat probably thinks I've abandoned him."

"Well, we wouldn't want that," Bruce remarked. Lara hummed in agreement as she gathered up her things. Before leaving, though, she looked back at him.

"Thanks, by the way," she said. "For listening and not being rude. That's hard for me to talk about and I'm just glad to have talked to someone." Bruce smiled and nodded.

"Well, just know you can, anytime." Lara returned the smile.

"Alright," she said. "Have a good weekend."

"You too," Bruce called as she walked out the door.

Once Lara was gone, Bruce got up and went down the hall to his room to get a couple of spare blankets he kept in his closet. Returning back to Clint's room, he spread one blanket over Natasha – who was sitting up on the bed on top of the comforter – and the other over Steve and Tony – who were cuddled together on the loveseat, Tony resting his head on Steve's shoulder. Satisfied that his teammates were at least somewhat comfortable, he turned off the TV and returned to his room for the night.


Special thanks to mfaerie32 on FFN for the review! It really means a lot! :)

Hopefully, I handled this with as much civility and grace as I possibly could. If not, I'm sorry.

Remember kids, you don't need to take it. If you are in the US and need help escaping an abusive situation, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or 1-800-799-7233.


Originally posted to FFN on 9/30/20.