Warnings for this chapter: serious injury, loss of self, massacre, mass slaughter, misogynistic slurs, attempted and the beginning of sexual assault of an unnamed character, imprisonment, poison, brief mention of animals (horses) being killed
Sango moved silently along the side of the house, peering around the corner to keep an eye on the bandits. They were pillaging the village, finding food and sake. She could hear them talking amongst themselves, though she was too far away to make out the words. The woman the bandits had chosen from the others was forced to kneel in front of the demon. At least it didn't look like they were going to kill her yet. Sango knew that she had to plan her next move very carefully.
Miroku curled tighter around Inuyasha, silently begging him to hang on as he tried desperately to come up with a plan of escape. Outside, a bandit dragged a woman over to Gatenmaru, ordering her to pour him a drink. After a moment, the demon laughed.
"You've weakened considerably, half-demon. Serves you right, siding with humans and meddling in my affairs!"
Inuyasha growled feebly and Miroku held him closer to his chest. It already took almost all his concentration to hold up the rapidly-weakening barrier, constantly distracted by Inuyasha's ragged breathing. A few silken strands were already sagging through the walls of the barrier. He knew they were in trouble – it wouldn't be long now before the barrier dissolved completely.
A bandit pushed another woman forward, ordering her to "attend to the boss." Miroku could just make out their silhouettes through the increasingly transparent cocoon. Gatenmaru chuckled, asked quietly "Are you afraid?"
Inuyasha snarled and leaned forward, pushing against Miroku's staff which cut across his chest. He couldn't smell the woman's fear, but he could hear her heartbeat hammering, and the tiny frightened breaths had his vision flashing red once more. No! He couldn't transform!
"Such a lovely countenance…"
Sango watched in horror as the demon's tongue darted out and latched onto the woman's neck. The woman struggled and gasped. Murmurs and frantic whispers rose from the bandits and other women around her. By the time Sango realized what was going on, it was too late for the poor woman. The demon tossed her carelessly to the ground, her body a mummified husk. The women were screaming, and even the bandits seemed taken aback. They must have never seen their leader feed before.
"What's going on?" Miroku asked in a hushed whisper, trying to make out what was happening on the other side of the cocoon.
"Curse him," Inuyasha growled, lurching forward, his voice rising. "Leave them alone!"
He gasped and groaned, his body growing impossibly more rigid. He then sagged slightly, and Miroku struggled to hold him upright while still maintaining the barrier.
"Are you alright?" he asked frantically, unable to see the hanyou's face from where he sat behind him. "Yash, just hang on!"
Inuyasha pulled deep breaths in through his teeth, struggling to hold his youki back. But it was all too much – the humans screaming, the poison eating through his abdomen, the pain and stress in Miroku's sweat… And he couldn't move! He couldn't even lift a finger to protect himself. The demon's paralyzing poison sent an entirely new fear curling through him. He was losing himself again, and it was all he could do to hold it back for a breath, and then another, and then another.
Another woman cried out in fear, grabbed by Gatenmaru. The demon spoke to Inuyasha, then. "Observe me until you perish, half-demon. I will devour these women while the poison devours you."
Sango slowly rose to her feet. She couldn't wait any longer – it didn't matter that she was hopelessly outnumbered. That demon was going to kill the rest of the women, and she had to stop him! Her only hope was if taking on the demon would scatter the rest of the bandits. They looked rather disgusted with him – there was a small chance that they would simply let her do it. She took a step forward, and froze. While she, the bandits, and the captive women had all been distracted, someone else had been making their move. The old man had stumbled over to one of the bandits and, as the woman held by the demon continued to scream, he grabbed the Tessaiga from the man's hand.
"Hey, stop there!" the bandit shouted after him as he ran.
But the old man was hobbling, his leg still injured from the fall which introduced them to him in the first place. Sango ran, swinging Hiraikotsu above her head and sending it crashing into the bandit chasing after the old man. The rest of the bandits immediately began scrambling around her, surprised by the attack, and Sango drew her sword to keep them at bay. But she glanced over at the old man, confused to see him running at the demon. Was the old fool trying to take on a moth demon alone?
"The sword!" the old man shouted pleadingly. "You must use the sword and save our women from this terrible fate!"
And Sango realized her mistake. He wasn't aiming for the demon, but the large silk cocoon beside him. But why- Inuyasha! She suddenly realized. But the cocoon… She knew about moth demons, and the acidic venom they could produce. The same poison coated all their silk. Anything covered in the stuff, demon or otherwise, would be melted! So how could Inuyasha still be- Miroku!
"Fuck!" she swore, and charged.
But the bandits got there first.
"Where do you think you're going?"
One grabbed the old man's arm, the other struck him over the back with his spear. The Tessaiga clattered to the ground.
"Stupid old fool."
The old man cried out in pain as he was pushed down, the weight of the bandits' feet pressing against him.
"You've sealed your own fate."
Inuyasha thrashed weakly against Miroku, his elongated fangs pricking against his tongue as he roared. Fear and pain morphed into anger and bloodlust. He needed to get out. He needed to kill.
"That'll teach you, old geezer," one of the bandits said, raising his spear.
"Gramps!"
The cry came from the edge of the village. Sango whipped around, saw the boy struggling at the edge of the village, Kirara's jaws on the back of his kimono the only thing holding him back. The bandits she was fighting turned to look as well. She knocked them all down with Hiraikotsu and then threw the weapon, which struck the spear-wielding bandit to the ground. The rest of the bandits rounded on her, suddenly deeming her more of a threat.
"Kirara!" she called out. "I need help!"
Kirara tossed the boy back towards Shippo and growled warningly at them both before bounding over the heads of the bandits between her and Sango to land at the slayer's side. Sango began fighting in earnest, kicking the men down, knocking them unconscious and not pulling her punches. She didn't want to kill them, but she wasn't naïve – they couldn't afford to be polite. Beside her, Kirara head-butted the bandits more often than not, or snatched their arms in her jaws and hurled them bodily through the air with her powerful neck.
"Slayer…" a weak voice came from the ground.
The old man was looking at her, one hand clutching at Tessaiga as he wheezed for breath.
"You must give him the sword. Please."
Sango rushed to his side and picked up Tessaiga, kicking away two more bandits as she did so. The demon was watching them thoughtfully, looking amused. Beside him, the cocoon had gained a large divot in the top. Damnit! Miroku's barrier must be failing.
The demon stood, his eyes fixed on Sango. "A delectable-looking woman. Bring her to me!"
The few bandits standing guard around the demon chorused "Yessir" and began to advance, weapons drawn. Sango glared at them, Kirara at her back, but the entire force was now staring her down. She didn't know if she would be able to fight through them to the cocoon, not with Kirara staying behind to guard the old man. And she kept one eye on the edge of the village, where Shippo and the boy were waiting.
"Yash, can you hear me?" Miroku's voice echoed in his ears, but he sounded oddly far away. Inuyasha was breathing as though the air was ripped from his lungs, the only thoughts in his head were bad and hurt and protect and kill. And then a spike of fear.
Miroku gasped as pillars of silk began to break through the barrier, falling down in thick swathes. He huddled down closer to Inuyasha, trying to shield the hanyou with his body and keep them both from being burned by the acidic poison coating the silk. Inuyasha was utterly still underneath him, besides the slight trembling running through his frame.
Sango threw her own sword to the side and stuck Tessaiga in the sheath instead. She snatched Hiraikotsu off the ground and swung it as hard as she could, knocking back a wave of bandits. She blocked incoming swords with the weapon, struck a few men on the head into unconsciousness, but there were still so many! Kirara stayed by her side, but Sango knew that she had to send her away, to get the old man out of harm's way so they could both fight unrestricted. She threw a wild glance back at the moth demon, who didn't appear to be interested in intervening just yet.
Two swords landed against Hiraikotsu and Sango desperately pushed them back. "Kirara…"
Kirara growled, snatching a spear from the hands of another bandit and snapping it in her jaws. The men were jabbing at her, afraid of getting too close, but they almost had her surrounded.
A length of silk landed on the head of his staff, and Miroku winced at the sizzling sound it produced. His spiritual powers purified the poison, sending it wafting into the air as a vapour. The barrier was all but gone. They had moments left before it collapsed completely. Miroku tugged helplessly at Inuyasha's chest, trying to get him to move, but the poison had rendered him almost entirely paralyzed. It would be up to Miroku to hurl them both through the wall of silk before it could dissolve them, but his leg was already screaming from staying crouched down for so long. It could barely take his own weight, let alone Inuyasha's.
As the thoughts swirled around his head in dark delirium, another swath of silk sunk through the barrier and landed on his shoulder. He cried out as the poison immediately ate through the cloth of his robes and bit deep into his shoulder. Inuyasha jerked in his arms. The youki that had been growing steadily stronger, pulsed.
Inuyasha's head snapped up.
Sango lifted Hiraikotsu, preparing to cut a path to the cocoon. The bandits formed a wall between them, swords raised. Then a wave of demonic aura shot through the air, knocking them all off balance. The bandits all turned to stare, horrified, at the amber light glowing through the strands of the cocoon. Then the entire structure burst apart. Shreds of silk went flying, some landing on the bandits and burning them immediately. Inuyasha shot into the air, claws raised.
He landed swinging, and his claws tore through the throats of a line of bandits in a single sweep. Twice more he struck, ripping through armour and flesh to the bone. Sango stepped back, Hiraikotsu falling from her hand as she watched in horror. What could she do? Inuyasha was slowly tearing his way through the mass of bandits. Their cries filled the air.
"Inuyasha?" she called out. No response. Not so much as a glance in her direction. Inuyasha was snarling, saliva dripping from his fangs as blood slowly coated his hands and stained his clothes. Sango was frozen. She had no idea how to approach him anymore. Would he recognize her as a friend? Or would she simply be another enemy?
A choked-off cry from one of the women startled her into action. She ran over to where the women were still huddled together and wordlessly pushed them towards Kirara. They followed her silent direction, moving shakily and watching Inuyasha carefully. Sango also kept a worried eye on him. It didn't seem like he would be able to tell apart bandit and villager at this point. She couldn't risk him harming the innocent – he had already crossed a line that she hadn't though him capable of crossing.
Once the women were clear, she pressed forward to the shreds of the cocoon. Miroku had pushed himself upright and was absently wiping the lines of silk off himself as his eyes followed Inuyasha's path. Sango landed on her knees behind him, wordlessly reached into her robes and pulled out a thick white powder. She dumped it over his head and smoothed it down his torso. It sizzled where it met the acidic poison, neutralizing it and ridding it of most of its potency. Miroku would still need to wash off the poison, she thought faintly. Later. After. Once Inuyasha was…
He stood in the middle of the battlefield, breathing hard, blood-splattered from head to toe. He was surrounded by a dozen or so dead bodies. His eyes were glowing red, and he was smiling.
"Inuyasha!" Miroku shouted, suddenly finding his voice.
Inuyasha turned, but not to Miroku. Gatenmaru was walking towards him, laughing to himself. He came to a stop in front of Inuyasha, surveying him haughtily. "You amuse me, little man, but the show is over!"
His body convulsed, and a set of moth's wings burst through his robes. His face twisted and morphed, his muzzle growing longer, his eyes growing larger and more circular, and two feathery antenna springing from his brow. Venom dripped from his fangs and ran down his light blue-green skin.
"You're no more than a half-demon," he continued as his body continued to expand. He burst through his armour, losing any semblance of his human-like form. He became a giant moth, and flew higher into the air, each flap of his wings sending a gust of air shooting forth that threatened to knock over any human still standing.
"You cannot defeat me!" he crowed. "Die, little man!"
Poison dust fell from his wings and the next flap sent it flying through the air towards Inuyasha. The wind picked up and swirled the dust around him. Inuyasha grinned as the winds turned into a twister, pulling at his hair and robes. It grew to the point where it obscured him from Miroku and Sango's view. Then there was a laugh. Inuyasha burst through the cloud of dust, caught the top of one of Gatenmaru's wings, and ripped a long line down it until it was torn in two. Gatenmaru crashed to the ground. Inuyasha twisted through the air to land in front of him. He was still smiling.
Gatenmaru reared back and shot forth a long line of silk from his mouth. It wrapped around Inuyasha in a cloud of poison, and when it settled to the ground, he was gone. Gatenmaru laughed, spreading his remaining wing. "I melted him! He was merely a half-demon after all."
"You talking to me?" The growl came from far above Gatenmaru's head. Inuyasha was hovering in the air, his hair and clothes floating as his youki suspended him aloft. And then he dove. "Filthy vermin!"
His claws latched onto Gatenmaru's lower jaw and dragged down, tearing off his jawbone and ripping down the length of his body. The various severed pieces of his flesh splattered to the ground at Inuyasha's feet as he landed.
About half the bandits remained. They turned and ran. Some were on foot, but most of them leapt onto their hoses and rode away as fast as they could. Inuyasha's head swiveled to look after them, and his eyes narrowed.
"You won't escape."
His claws were curled in front of his face. A mixture of human and demon blood dripped from them. His youki flared even brighter.
Miroku shoved himself to his feet, hissing as his leg buckled under his weight. Sango rose and moved to support him, but he quickly shook his head. "Tessaiga!"
"I have it," Sango said, pulling it from her sheath. She glanced anxiously between Miroku and Inuyasha, who was crouched to pounce. "Stay here," she ordered Miroku firmly, and started running. "Kirara, stay and protect the villagers!"
She could hear the monk already stumbling behind her. Inuyasha leapt at the bandits, tearing through those on foot. Some were killed instantly, some were left to choke on their own blood or lay in shock, staring at their severed limbs. He then jumped high in the air, soaring over the bandits on horseback with unnatural speed. He landed in front of them with a smile, watched as their horses' momentum brought them straight to him. His claws flashed once more, slicing through man and horse indistinguishably. He aimed for their legs, sending them all crashing to the ground so they couldn't make their escape. Most of them didn't die immediately. It looked intentional.
Miroku reached out with his mind, through the panic and the pain, and found the nenju beads. He pulled as hard as he could, and watched as Inuyasha was yanked to the side. He stumbled a few steps and then turned glowing red eyes onto Miroku, growling slightly. Miroku didn't slow down, and neither did Sango – she was almost at Inuyasha, Tessaiga held out pleadingly before her. Miroku's heart sank as Inuyasha's eyes darted to her, no sign of recognition whatsoever. Only a predatory smile.
"Inuyasha!" Miroku cried out.
A few bandits, those that could still walk, scrambled to their feet and began stumbling away. Inuyasha's attention was immediately drawn to them. He leapt over their heads and landed in front of them once more. Fear filled the men's eyes as they realized there was no path to freedom. They fell to their knees, cries for help and pleas for mercy falling from their lips.
Inuyasha stood as though frozen, the only movement the heaving of his chest.
Sango slowed to a stop on the other side of the bandits, afraid to take another step lest Inuyasha strike.
Miroku soon caught up to her. He placed a hand on her shoulder, but his eyes were fixed on Inuyasha. He wordlessly reached down and took the sword from her hand, meeting no resistance. He moved painfully slow, and Inuyasha's gaze snapped to him. Sango followed right behind him – she couldn't let him go alone. Both Hiraikotsu and her sword were left behind in the village, but her hand reached into her robes and grasped a knife hidden there.
"Inuyasha," Miroku called, his voice calm and low and forceful. "It's over. You cannot harm these men – they're begging for their lives. They are no threat to you."
Inuyasha's gaze drifted almost lazily to the bandits and he laughed quietly. He laughed at the thought of slaughtering them. Miroku took another careful step forward. He was right behind the bandits, just a few paces from Inuyasha. If he could just reach him…
The man closest to Miroku surged to his feet. It looked like he was going to try to take cover behind the monk. He never got the chance. In a flash, all the bandits were dead. Inuyasha looked around erratically, sniffing the air. His eyes landed behind Miroku and Sango, to where the village women were crowded behind Kirara.
Miroku threw himself at Inuyasha, Tessaiga outstretched before him.
Inuyasha stiffened and leapt back. At first Miroku thought he was reacting defensively. Then he thought he was just trying to get to the women. Then, perhaps that Inuyasha was actively avoiding Tessaiga. But then he saw the aggressive stance the hanyou had adopted. He followed his gaze far down the road leading from the village, to where Sesshomaru stood immobile.
"What-?" Miroku gasped, Sango's hand on his robes, dragging him back.
Sesshomaru looked around in disgust. The smell of human blood drenched the air – it was what had led him there, coupled with the scent of inu-youkai. But the scale of the carnage surprised him. Two dozen humans lay dead on the ground, scattered amongst horses and demon remains. Inuyasha had been busy, it seemed. His brother was snarling at him, his previously gleeful scent growing bitter with anger. No fear. Only anger.
"Nothing more than a monster," Sesshomaru murmured, knowing that Inuyasha could hear him but not sure if he could comprehend. "You only know how to fight and kill – isn't that right, little brother?"
Bokusen-Oh had been right. There was no trace of human in the half-breed. There was no thought, no soul, only a desire for blood. And Inuyasha's scent… It wasn't pure demon. It was eerily similar to Sesshomaru's own, closer than a hanyou's had any right to be, but it wasn't youkai. It was wilder, somehow. Sharp. Uncontrolled.
"Come after me, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru ordered coolly. "I wish to test your strength transformed as such."
That was all the invitation he needed. Inuyasha charged recklessly, claws poised. He leapt high in the air. Sesshomaru pulled Tokijin from its sheath and swung it above his head to meet Inuyasha. An aura of power surrounded the sword, its pure energy pushing him back. Inuyasha roared and fought against it, his youki pushing him forward, leaving him hovering in the air as Tokijin's power slowly tore through him.
"Inuyasha!" Miroku screamed. "Fall back! You'll be destroyed!"
Inuyasha's hand curled into a fist and shot forward. It connected hard with the blade and knocked Tokijin aside. Sesshomaru's brows furrowed, an expression of concern flashing across his face before he leapt back to avoid Inuyasha's incoming claws. Inuyasha landed in a crouch on the ground. At first he seemed remarkably uninjured. And then the skin split open along the length of his arm, where Tokijin had passed straight through the flesh. Blood spurted from the wound but Inuyasha appeared to not even notice.
Sesshomaru sneered. "That was foolish."
Inuyasha roared and charged again.
Miroku ran. He ignored Sango's shout after him, ignored the white-hot pain shooting up his leg. Sesshomaru was going to cut Inuyasha to pieces with Tokijin, and Inuyasha was too far gone to feel any pain. Inuyasha hurled himself forward and Sesshomaru leapt into the air, easily dodging the wild attack. Inuyasha crashed into the ground, his claws digging deep gouges in the dirt. He rose to his feet and turned slowly, his eyes meeting his brother's once more. Sesshomaru had moved far enough away that Miroku was able to jump between them just as Inuyasha pounced.
Sesshomaru lunged past him close enough that their shoulders brushed. He jabbed at Inuyasha and then leapt back, away from Miroku. Inuyasha followed. Almost as though Sesshomaru had intentionally drawn him away.
Inuyasha struck for Sesshomaru's belly but Sesshomaru drove him back with a powerful swing of his sword. Power burst from Tokijin, following Inuyasha as he was flung back. He slowed himself to a stop by dragging his feet across the ground. Blood dripped steadily into the dirt around him. He had barely slowed before he pushed off once more, rushing recklessly back at Sesshomaru.
"Inuyasha, stop!" Miroku shouted frantically.
Sesshomaru watched him with morbid curiosity. No fear, no pain. He didn't know if this mindless beast might even turn on his own pack. It fascinated him. He dodged every attack, the claws which swiped for his throat. Inuyasha still held some thought, aiming instinctively for Sesshomaru's more vulnerable left side, but there was no plan in motion. The demon blood was coursing through his veins. It had corrupted his soul. His mind was blank. His brother had no idea who anyone was, even himself. There was nothing left of who he used to be. Sesshomaru had come in his pursuit driven by a desire for understanding, to see if Bokusen-Oh's words had been true. Now it was different.
"Pathetic," he sneered, lifting up into the air. "I understand now, little brother. You are not a pure-blood demon. All you are is a half-breed. Though now you're not even half a man. Know your place in the world." He touched down lightly, lifted Tokijin. Inuyasha leapt for him. "A hanyou should act like one. On your knees!"
A burst of red and white light shot from Tokijin. It caught Inuyasha in the air and ripped through his youki. Amber sparks crackled between them as Inuyasha roared. And then he was flung back with a cry. He landed hard and skidded along the ground, slowly sliding to a stop.
Sango ran, Miroku right behind her. Sesshomaru was walking towards Inuyasha's unmoving form, Tokijin still held loosely in his hand. She dove in front of Sesshomaru, a knife in one hand, a vial of poison in the other. Miroku fell to his knees beside Inuyasha behind her, braced himself against Inuyasha's shoulders. The hanyou's eyes were open wide, still red with an iris that was startlingly bright blue. He wasn't moving. Miroku wasn't even sure if he was breathing.
"Don't," Sango snapped as Sesshomaru took another step towards them.
He surveyed her thoughtfully, his face a blank mask. His gaze shifted past her to rest on Miroku. "If you wish him to stop, use Tessaiga to reverse the transformation." He sneered at the shocked looks which twisted both humans' faces. "Otherwise, he will continue to fight when he awakens."
Miroku swallowed hard and obediently pressed Tessaiga into Inuyasha's limp hand. There was a pulse of youki, and then Inuyasha's eyes slipped shut, and his body seemed to sag. Miroku watched him a moment longer before he looked back at Sesshomaru.
"You could have finished him off at any point," he whispered. "Instead you held him off with Tokijin. Why? Why stop there?"
Sesshomaru looked utterly disgusted. "I will slay him eventually. Why kill him now, when he doesn't even know himself? There would be no point."
He turned and slowly walked away. He disappeared down the path until he was almost out of sight before he rose into the air, a white light flashing around him before he took off into the sky.
"That's it?" Sango asked disbelievingly, lowering her weapons and glancing back at Miroku and Inuyasha. "It's over? Just like that?"
Miroku shook his head. "I can't believe that was a show of honour or humility. I don't think it was a test, either. Sesshomaru sought Inuyasha out knowing that he was transformed. He came to stop him."
"Why?" Sango sighed, coming to crouch down beside him. "He hates Inuyasha."
Miroku looked down at the hanyou and tenderly reached out to brush the hair from his eyes. "I thought so, too."
xXx
Their scent led him back to where he'd left them, deep within the ancient forest. Rin was sitting on the ground, feeding a handful of grass to one of the heads of his dragon mount. A-Un – what a ridiculous concept, naming a mount, but it seemed to make her happy. She gasped delightedly when she saw him and shot to her feet and ran to him excitedly.
"Lord Sesshomaru! You're finally back!"
She was happy to see him in a way he didn't truly understand. And for whatever reason, he cared. She came to a stop in front of him and he surveyed her coolly.
"Rin," he greeted. "I hope you have fared well."
"Mhmm!" she smiled. "A and Un and I were on our very best behaviour." She pointed behind the mount to where Jaken sat curled on the ground, tracing patters into the dirt. "Master Jaken has become most melancholy."
She stated the information as pure fact, without judgement. It puzzled him.
"Lord Sesshomaru!" Jaken exclaimed, leaping to his feet when he saw him. "How did you fare with Inuyasha? Were you successful? I still can't believe you would go off on your own-" His hand slapped over his own mouth, cutting himself off dramatically. "Master, that was most uncalled for. I apologize!"
Sesshomaru held back a sigh. He truly didn't wish to dwell on what he'd seen, though the image wouldn't leave his mind. Inuyasha had been monstrous. There had been nothing left of his little brother. There would have been no shame in leaving him in that state – even if they shared the same blood, he was a hanyou, after all. It was no poor reflection on Sesshomaru that such a weakling would come from his house. Though, it tainted his bloodline. If his father could produce such a creature, then what did that mean for his other offspring? It had been a matter of duty, even a precautionary one, to restore Inuyasha to his former half-life. To be fawned over by those wretched mortals.
"Rin, have you eaten?" he asked, pulling himself from his thoughts. He was still growing accustomed to how often he had to feed humans, especially the little ones.
In some small, indescribable way, for the first time in his life, Sesshomaru could almost understand what his father had seen in humans. Not enough to breed with one, heaven forbid, but he could almost see their appeal. They were different – the trust and devotion of a weak, subservient demon, and the gall to not see themselves as inferior. It created a creature utterly devoid of any sense of their rightful place in the world. It made them brazen and foolish in a way that demons or even animals simply weren't.
That was why he was fascinated with Inuyasha's pet humans, as well. A pack of weak mortals and pathetic demons with a hanyou for their leader? There was some kind of poetry to it. But those humans appeared to be even less aware of their own limits than most. They repeatedly threw themselves into danger that they had no hope of combatting. That monk had always been willing to stand between Sesshomaru and Inuyasha, and it seemed the slayer had inherited that trait. He had been tempted time and time again to show them just how foolish they were to assume that they could even hope to stand against him. But now, he felt the need to study them. After all, despite several chances to leave Rin at a suitable human village, he had not. For whatever frivolous human reason, she was happy in his company. And he was increasingly inclined to let her stay.
xXx
A groan spilled from Inuyasha's lips as he came to. He felt as though he'd been thrown off a cliff and hit every rock on the way down. He could hear heartbeats around him, and took a careful breath. The scent of human blood hit him like a punch to the gut. His initial panic faded some as he realized that he couldn't recognize any of it. Familiar scents rolled around him, too, marred by fear and pain. He desperately wanted to go back to sleep until the world stopped being one giant blur of agony, but he couldn't let his weakness keep him from making sure his pack was safe. He pried his eyes open, waited for the fuzziness to fade.
A strong hand braced his shoulder, a careful voice asked "Inuyasha?"
He blinked a few times up at Miroku, knowing that something was off even before he focused on the tight frown.
"What-" he asked, pushing himself up, and paused at the pull of pain from his abdomen. Something told him that it should be hurting a lot more than it did. Why was that? What had happened? He tried to recall what had happened, but nothing came.
"Take it slow," Sango's voice came from his other side. "You're injured."
Well, that checked out. Was that why he couldn't remember anything? Was it a head wound? His head certainly ached, pounding with every beat of his heart, but it was a dull throb that wasn't entirely unpleasant. His muscles felt sore and well-used. He didn't feel anywhere near bad enough to warrant the looks of deep concern on Miroku and Sango's faces.
He pushed himself fully to a seated position and looked around. The scent of blood lay so thick in the air that it almost made him gag. It didn't take long to find the source. Dead bodies lay scattered in all direction, most of them ripped to shreds or missing limbs, all covered in red. What could have done this? He eyed his companions again, more critically this time. Sango seemed unharmed, though she oddly didn't have either Hiraikotsu or her sword with her. Miroku was obviously favouring his injured leg, and there was an odd scent mixed in with the pain radiating from his shoulder. It was a sharp smell, some kind of poison-
The cocoon. Gatenmaru. Inuyasha's head snapped up as everything fell back into place. The silk shooting at him, the fear and pain, the poison dripping down, the barrier… Then everything faded, growing dimmer and dimmer until there was nothing left. Just a large, empty space of whatever had followed. Inuyasha swallowed hard – he'd transformed again. He must have. The pain, the fear for his life, his pack in danger… It was some mercy that he hadn't hurt his companions. A mystery how they'd all survived. He could see pieces of giant moth wings scattered along the ground. He assumed he must be responsible for it. After all, his claws-
His claws were caked with blood. Demon blood…and human blood.
No.
No, no- This couldn't be happening!
Panic ripped through him, stealing the air from his lungs. He pushed himself to his feet, ignoring Miroku's slight noise of protest. One hand curled around his abdomen, which pulsed with residual pain. He took a few staggering steps forward, nausea rolling in his chest.
"Did I do all this?" he asked, barely a whisper.
Neither of the others answered. They didn't have to. The horror still hadn't faded from their expressions. The blood was still wet on his hands. Still dripping down his clothes. The panic and disgust and bone-crushing guilt all swirled together until they seemed to drain away, leaving him hollow and empty. Strangely calm.
"Inuyasha?" Miroku asked carefully. He should be careful. He should be frightened. Inuyasha was a monster to be avoided. "Inuyasha, you did it to save the villagers. To protect us."
The words fell to the wayside, discarded before they had a chance to hit home. Instinctually, he knew they were a lie.
At the edge of the village, Kirara stood with Shippo on her back. Beside them, a small group of humans huddled. Mostly women, a few men, and a young boy. The boy was staring him. Blood had spread down his shoulder, but Inuyasha knew that wasn't his doing, at least. The boy looked conflicted. Stunned. When Inuyasha met his gaze, he took a few tentative steps forward.
One of the women beside him immediately snatched him back. "No, he's a monster!"
Another immediately joined in, placing herself protectively in front of him. "If you get close, he'll rip you to pieces!"
All the villagers were glaring at him, some in fear, some in hatred.
"I don't care if he's a monster!" the boy shouted, wrenching himself free. "He did everything in his power to save my grandpa! He got rid of all the bad men!"
Inuyasha's claws curled loosely into fists. No, he hadn't saved anyone. He'd hunted those men down. He could remember nothing, not even confusing fragments of emotions like his first transformation, but he could taste the cruel satisfaction on the back of his tongue. He hadn't been protecting his pack. He'd been enjoying it. The demon he'd become…the power in his hands… It had been what he'd wanted for so long. It had been everything he'd strived for, for years.
Not like this.
He'd never wanted this.
He could hear Miroku come up behind him. The monk reached out and then stopped himself, his hand hovering above his shoulder. Inuyasha didn't blame him. He wouldn't want to touch him, either. He didn't want Miroku tainting himself with the monster he'd become.
"Yash?" Miroku asked quietly.
He didn't answer. He couldn't.
Sango walked past him, towards the ruins of the village. He didn't fail to notice that she gave him a wide berth. She approached the villagers and spoke to them quickly and quietly. Inuyasha tuned out her voice – he didn't want to hear what she had to say. Either she was defending him, or she was telling the villagers how dangerous he was. Both options made him sick to his stomach.
She moved past them, said a few quick words to Kirara, then disappeared into the village. Inuyasha stared at the ground, rooted to the spot until she came back. A heartbeat pounded in his ears, and he couldn't tell whether it was his or Miroku's. The monk held his post just behind him. He didn't say a word.
After a long while, Sango re-emerged from the village. Kirara and Shippo followed her back to Inuyasha. He refused to meet their eyes – he couldn't stand the thought of the fear he might find there. Or worse, the pity.
"There's a river nearby," Sango said, her voice uncharacteristically subdued. "We can clean up there."
Inuyasha started in the direction she pointed without bothering to wait for the others. He knew they couldn't afford to let him out of their sight. He knew they wouldn't come close enough for him to harm them unless they had to. He found the river by sound rather than smell – he started breathing carefully through his mouth, but then he could practically taste the blood so he stopped.
When he reached the river, he waded in without pausing. He crouched down, letting the water flow over his chest as he scrubbed furiously at his hands. He needed the scent to be gone from his claws. He needed his crimes to be wiped from his skin. It wouldn't change what he'd done – he knew that. He needed it all the same.
Miroku and Sango knelt by the riverbank a respectful distance away, Kirara and Shippo a little upstream. Neither of them spoke, though they shared the occasional worried glance at Inuyasha's increasingly frantic movements. It was testament to how distracted he'd been that he hadn't asked about the fate of the old man. Hadn't checked on Shippo or Kirara to make sure they were okay. Hadn't offered to help Miroku even though, after such heavy activity far too soon, his leg had cramped to the point where he could no longer walk. Sango had had to drag him onto Kirara's back. She had no idea what this all meant for Inuyasha. She didn't know how she could help him.
For the time being, she turned her attention solely on what she knew she could control. Miroku's robes were still ashy from the alkaline powder she'd covered him with, the poison still dangerously present on his skin. She tugged at his robes without a word, and together they stripped the heavy fabric off him. An area of skin on the back of his shoulder the size of a melon was mottled and blistered from where the poison had settled. She pushed him down closer to the water's edge, and poured handfuls of the icy water over the wound. It took a long time to clean it thoroughly. His mouth was set in a tight line, his eyes fixed deep into the water.
When she finished, she began washing the poison from his robes while he cleaned off the rest of his body. Before long, he was shivering. She didn't think it was just the late-autumn chill, or the freezing water, or even the lingering effects of the Saimyosho venom. There was a slight shake to her own hands which she carefully hid in the fabric of his robes.
She laid out the clothing to dry and wrapped their collection of blankets around him in the meantime. He gave her a small smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. They both glanced back at Inuyasha. He hadn't moved from his post in the middle of the river, hadn't stopped scrubbing at his robes, his hands.
"He couldn't hear my voice this time," Miroku murmured faintly.
"Myoga said that every time would be worse," Sango agreed quietly.
"He did it to protect us," he continued in a whisper. "I know they were human, but they were going to kill us. They'd already killed so many. He wouldn't harm the innocent."
Sango swallowed. "They were begging."
Miroku closed his eyes. "I know."
"Before Sesshomaru arrived, it looked like he might have gone after the villagers."
Miroku dragged a hand down his face. "There was no awareness this time. And he was smiling…"
They both fell into grim silence. There was no way to justify what had happened. They knew they didn't have long to come to terms with it – Inuyasha needed to be alone for the time being, but sooner or later he would turn to them. Their reaction would change the course of whatever came next.
"We drew the line at killing humans," Miroku said rather suddenly. "That was where we stood. Almost nothing has a clear answer – Kouga? Sesshomaru? – nothing makes sense, but that was one thing we could be certain about. But what makes demons and humans so different? We destroy demons that are a threat to humans. We pass judgement on them, but not on our own kind?"
Sango sighed. "I used to think that it wasn't our place to decide. If we kill humans because they've killed others, it would make us no better than them."
"But demons?"
"Some of them are like animals." She shrugged hopelessly. "You kill a wild beast before it can kill you."
"But the others?" Miroku pushed. "The ones who are acting on more than instinct? The ones who decide to kill? Arguably, animals cannot be evil because they are not killing out of malice. Humans, demons, kami, we all have the capacity for good and evil. Does that not make our actions worse?"
"In our society, there are laws," Sango said. "If a human has killed, they are brought to justice by the law, not individuals. Youkai are not tied to human law. If they are killing humans, it's up to us to stop them."
"And what of roving bandits?" Miroku asked. "We know they've killed. We know that in all likelihood they will kill again. If they're not captured, not bound by law, and we let them go on to kill again, what then?"
"I don't know," she ground out. "There's no answer, Miroku."
"I know."
"We can't go around killing every murderer we find," she said firmly. "That's not who we are. That's not what we do. We fight demons, not humans. We fight them because we're the only ones who can. We can't solve the world's problems, but we can control this one thing."
"So we don't kill humans," Miroku murmured. "We cannot do that to ourselves."
"No."
"It's not his fault."
Sango looked at Miroku then back to Inuyasha. "No. He couldn't control himself. He didn't decide to kill them, like you said."
Miroku closed his eyes again. "And that's what matters," he said, though he didn't sound entirely convinced.
"Of course it is," Sango growled. "How can it not be, when that's how we've treated Kohaku?"
He looked at her in surprise.
"He's killed people – far more than Inuyasha – and we haven't given up on him. You haven't given up on him. You haven't given up on me for standing by him! Even if Inuyasha keeps getting worse, even if he fully transforms into a demon, I'm going to stay with him."
"Sango…"
She shook her head. "You've all stood by me like it was the natural thing to do. He's determined to save Kohaku even though he almost killed you. I'm not giving up on either of them."
Some of the tension fell from Miroku's shoulders. "Yes. Yes, I suppose you're right."
She watched him carefully. "But you need to be careful."
"I know."
"I'm serious," she said, forcing him to look at her. "You've been stupid with your own safety and that includes with him. He's our friend, but he's dangerous. He has the power to kill and he can't control it."
Miroku's eyes dropped to his right hand. His lips pressed together but he stayed silent.
xXx
The sunset painted the sky in rich reds and golds, the air had the bite of winter, but Inuyasha still couldn't stop. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get the smell of blood off his hands. It was sickening. It was repulsive. He didn't know if he would ever be free of it. He couldn't believe what he'd done. He couldn't believe it… The only thing holding him together was that he hadn't hurt his pack. Not physically, at least. If their blood had joined the stains on his hands…
He stalked out of the river with a huff. Miroku and Sango broke off their conversation and watched him carefully. He moved downriver before climbing onto the grassy bank and dropping to the ground. He shouldn't have been surprised when they wordlessly stood and followed, Miroku leaning hard on Sango for support. They settled down a little ways away and carried on their conversation. He wasn't fooled. He knew that they were tracking his every move. He growled at them, but it quickly died in his throat. He was a monster.
"You don't have to force yourselves to stay by me," he muttered instead, barely loud enough for them to hear.
He looked away, but he could feel them exchange a glance before turning their pity-filled eyes back on him. Anger flashed through his chest, and he rounded on them.
"Quit it, okay? Everyone needs to stop tiptoeing around me like I'm going to snap and kill everyone any fucking moment! I don't have a problem with what happened. I don't give a damn what I did!"
Sango's jaw clenched. Miroku looked indescribably sad.
"Don't," the monk whispered. "Don't do this."
Inuyasha growled and tore his gaze away, blinking hard against the stinging in his eyes. "Don't? That's rich. It's too late for 'don't!' I did, Miroku! I'm a fucking monster, so you better get used to it!"
A hand came to rest on his shoulder, and he wrenched away before turning back with a snarl. To his surprise, it was Sango kneeling beside him.
"You're not a monster," she said firmly. "And we're not leaving. We're family now, and nothing could ever change that. We don't give up on family."
He stared at her, struck. She squeezed his shoulder before tugging him forward gently into an embrace. He was frozen for a moment before he clung to her. Her strong arms quieted the wordless voices screaming in his head. Eventually – too soon – she pulled back with a small nod. She rose silently and took a few steps back before turning to walk away. She gathered Shippo into her arms from Kirara's back and the three moved back upriver.
Inuyasha turned his cautious gaze onto Miroku. He wasn't met with a smile or reassurance as he'd been expecting. Instead, the monk was looking back with quiet understanding. Inuyasha's brows furrowed and he looked away once more, somehow overwhelmed. He heard Miroku shuffle a little closer. Inuyasha's breathing was ragged, and his eyes stung. He held out a moment longer before falling into Miroku's waiting arms. He hid his face into the monk's chest and took a few deep, shuddering breaths. He couldn't cry. He wouldn't. He had no right to spill tears over what he'd done. Instead he trembled, and dug his claws into the earth because he couldn't bear the thought of them puncturing delicate human skin. Miroku's arms wrapped around him, cradled him. Gave him the comfort he didn't deserve but desperately craved.
"I don't remember anything," Inuyasha rasped, voice hoarse. "It wasn't like that before. There was always something."
"I want you to think about the other times you transformed, or almost did," Miroku murmured into his hair. "I won't deny that you lost control today. Myoga said that each time would be more difficult. But think about what happened after the first time you transformed. You got close, but you held yourself back. You learned how to keep control."
Inuyasha pushed himself away gently. "That won't matter when I do transform again."
"Maybe it will," Miroku said, and brushed his fingers down Inuyasha's cheek. "Nothing is certain. You may be able to learn how to keep from transforming. You may learn how to control yourself once you're transformed. There is no precedent for this. We cannot give up hope."
Inuyasha huffed and stared at the ground. He wanted so badly to believe what Miroku was saying, but he couldn't. He still didn't know if he could even risk staying.
"It's like how Kohaku is learning to resist Naraku's control," Miroku continued, looking out over the water. "It's like how I learned to use the wind tunnel. There were moments that I thought it was impossible – moments where I was convinced that I could never learn to wield this impossible force inside myself. We cannot choose what life gives us, Inuyasha – only what we do with it."
Inuyasha squeezed his eyes shut. His fingers curled against his abdomen. "How can I take that risk? How can I put your life in danger? I had no say over what I did today. The next time I transform, I may even come after you with these claws."
Miroku looked at him calmly. He reached out and gently pried one of Inuyasha's hands from his chest and lifted it to his lips. Inuyasha watched, breath caught in his throat, as Miroku placed a soft kiss on the end of his fingers, one by one.
Popular opinion: Gatenmaru's demon form is stupid. He has moth wings, like any moth demon should, and then his arms are? Bird wings? And he has no legs? Wat.
Also this is one of the few scenarios where the "sit" command would be helpful but they just, don't?
Miroku knows a lot of tricks, but "stay" isn't one of them.
In my mind, I had this great image of Sesshomaru wielding Tokijin in one hand and Tenseiga in the other – the power of life and death simultaneously – but then I realized "Oh, wait…"
