HOLY SHIT. 100 chapters. Can you believe it? I can't. Unfortunately, I won't do anything special. Sorry.


I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes, cringe and grammar mistakes.

Chapter 100: Pelo Talks - Gender war

"So, what's next?" Yang said.

"I have an idea. But now, let's watch some Pelo." Nova said.

Pelo talks

Gender War

Pelo: Soldiers! Grab your weapons. Because today, we're going to war! The gender war!... Why? Why everyone hates everyone? Why are you hating people with different likes? The straights hates the homos. The homos hate the straights. And the transsexuals hate themselves! Everyone hates everyone!

"Are things really bad on Earth?" Jaune said.

"Not anymore."

"Why do the transsexuals hate themselves? Is transsexuality even a gender?" Blake said.

"Is homosexuality a gender?" Nora said.

Pelo: Except the asexuals. They don't even care.

Asexual ball: Nah, I don't even care.

"I'm confused, are we talking about sexual preferences or genders?" Ruby said.

"Is asexuality a gender?"

"Why so many genders? There are only two!" Weiss said.

"Weiss is cancelled." Yang said.

"Shut up."

Pelo: But... but this is all wrong! All wrong? N-no, nono, no... Look, let's go to the main thing. The first thing. We were born male or female. And it will be like this forever. Even if some people don't like it.

"Unless if you want to change it." Yamg said.

Pelo: BUuUuUuUuUuUuUUT! You can like whatever you want. And in this era, you can change your private parts.

Ex-woman: Hey, but I don't like this sausage! What the heck, I don't like this sausage!

Pelo: And there is no problem with that. That's okay. Whatever you like or do with your body, it's okay. It's all okay!

"So why all the hate?" Ruby said.

Pelo: But don't hate others for that! You look like kids!

(An example)

Kid 1: Uh, give me a strawberry ice cream.

Kid 2: And give me a vanilla ice cream.

Kid 1: You motherfrusker! Why do you like vanilla?!

Kid 2: And why do you like strawberry?! (Loud fight)

Ice cream man: HEY! Why both of you don't like chocolate?! I'M GONNA CUT YOUR DICK! I'M GONNA CUT! YOUR! DI-

They all laughed.

"It do be like that." Yang said.

Pelo: *sigh* Let's begin with this. First, the heterosexuals. Long time ago, straight people hated different people for some reason.

(Another example)

"Smart" guy: (sees an eggboy) Haha! Look! A weirdo!

Other guy: Wh- wh-wha... Why is he a weirdo?

"Smart" guy: Because he's different from what I like! Hahaha, (brain cancer) I'm intelligent!

They laughed a little.

"Does that remind you of someone?" Blake said.

"Can we forget about it and move on?" Weiss said.

Pelo: What is wrong with yooooooou?! That way of thinking is... dumb! We are all weird. We-we poop! WE POOP!

Guy next to him: *loud sigh* Everyone likes what I don't like... AND I DON'T LIKE WHAT OTHERS-

Pelo: Stop there! Stop! (Puts a stop sign) Stop.

Nun: Let me tell you, our lord... GOD... made a man and a wom-

Pelo: SHUT UP! Shut the HECK up!

"Yeah, when people start talking about religion, the conversation gets stupid." Yang said.

"The conversation from the beginning is stupid." Blake said.

"Nova, do you hate gay people?" Nora said.

"Why would you think that I hate gay people?" Nova said.

"..."

"I hate the spread to children. And the rest, I just don't care anymore."

Pelo: The freaking priest touch-... get inside kids! Man with man is gay!

They laughed a little.

Nun: How dare you? You are going to hell-

Pelo: (smacks nun) SHUT THE HELL UP!

Yang started laughing.

"Nice one." she said.

Pelo: No, don't be like this, no. And now, the homosexuals. Everything was cutie, everything was beauty. The love won, rainbows everywhere, mix of hugs and kisses. EVERYthing was beauty. But now, THERE IS INCREDIBLE HATE FOR STRAIGHT PEOPLE! Because the past. That's love? The love won? That's love?!

"Doesn't that make them... more hated?" Ren said.

Pelo: I know there is people that keeps hating homosexuals for some reason... But-but you're sharing the... sssame hate! (Angry face) NO, don't do that! Don't be the same shit like others.

"Why are they still hating them though?" Ruby said.

"I think because they're doing girly stuff, like playing with Barbie dolls and wearing make-up. Let's be honest, what kind of person, gay or not, likes men who wear make-up?" Nova said.

"It doesn't look good on men, unless they want to be clowns." Weiss said.

"Yeah. Pretty scary." Nora said.

Pelo: Imagine that you're going to a trip.

(Example)

Guy: Umm... Can you tell me where is this place?

Other guy: Yeah, um... you go straight...

Guy: Straight? A STRAIGHT?! I DON'T LIKE STRAIGHTS, I AM NOT GOING STRAIGHT! (Goes left and right.)

They all laugh.

"This is stupid." Blake said.

Pelo: (sob) No... don't- don't hate someone for others, no... Look, I am straight. I like women. I love them, I get the bones!

Straight hater: Are you straight? IIII'M going to unsubscribe! DISLIKE! AND REPORTED! You're nazi. You're like the KKK and the cake! Cut the hair! Cut the- the hair!

"I don't get it why he said cake." Ruby said.

"It makes sense in the spanish version." Nova said.

Pelo: Nooooo... And your flag is the rainbow? WITH THAT HATE?! Nooo, NO!

"Pretty ironic." Yang said.

Pelo: And for the worst, SOME OF YOU HATE THE TRANSSEXUALS! But why?!

Hater: Uh... because they're like this... and like that and...

Pelo: (demon scream)

That scared them a little, but they laughed later.

Pelo: They are the same as the gays! (?) But they evolve.

Hater: Uhhh, but the-

Pelo: But SHUT UP! JUST SHOOSH! GO AWAY, SHOOSH! GET OUT! And now them. The transsexuals. Well the transsexuals... they just change their gender, that's all.

Boy: Ehh, I don't like this peepee. I'm going to take it off. (Rips it off) AAAAA-

They all laughed.

Pelo: But some trans HATE ANOTHER TRANS! But why?! Because they are different? They change? Or- or do they like make-up? Wha- what's that idiocy?! No!

"Yeah, it's pretty stupid." Weiss said.

Pelo: Imagine that you want to change your house.

(Example)

Woman 1: Hmm... I want to change my house.

Woman 2: (stomps her foot) WHAT THE FUCK?! What do you mean you want to change your house?!

Woman 1: Well, I don't like it, I don't like it... And I'm going to change it here all cutie. And I'm going to put some beauty.

Woman 2: NOOOO! I don't want you to change your house!

Woman 1: But... But it's my house! I'll do what I want with my hou-

Woman 2: (destroys house) Well, now you don't have a house.

Woman 1: Nooo! MY HOUSE! (Then an alien behind her)

Alien: (alien noise) (eats woman 1 and leaves)

Woman 2: AAAAA-

"What?"

"The spanish version, again, makes more sense." Nova said.

Pelo: You know what? Forget about everything. Everyone hates the transsexuals! (stuttering noise) But why?! You can do... (reads script) whatever you want... (reads it again) with your body!

(Example)

Helmet head: Mom! I will have a tattoo.

Mom: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUUUU?! I am your mother AND I DECIDE WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR BODY! I made you... WITH MY OVARIEEEE-

"That was his mistake. Don't say stuff like that to your parents." Yang said.

"No! He's too young to have a tattoo!" Pyrrha said.

Pelo: And the little boy gets older.

(Continue example)

Boy: Dad! I'll change my gender.

"At that age?" Blake said.

Helmet head: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUUUU?! I AM YOUR FATHER AND I DECIDE WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR BODY! I made you... WITH MY CU-

They all laughed.

Pelo: Nooo (turns into santa)... NO NO NO! (kills table) NO NO NO! NO! I am tired of everything! No one cares what you don't like! No one! Who cares if someone likes something different?! If someone wants to change?! If someone likes the dogs, the cats, the hexagons, WHO CARES?!

"Hexagons?" Ruby said.

Pelo: So shut the fu- (gets shot) *gasp*

"What?!"

Hater: Defending the weirdos, huh?

Pelo: But... but- (gets shot again) *gasp*

Woman: Straight, in the dick!

Pelo: (again) *gasp*

Egghead: Eh, I don't like your jokes.

They laughed a little.

Pelo: But- but- (AGAIN) *GASP*

Creepy dude: I love the women. *slurping noises*

Pelo: *sob* (brick falls on head) *GASP*

Trump: We will make America great again!

They laughed.

Pelo: Noo- (gets shot AGAIN) *GASP*

McCree: It's high noon.

"Can this gets any sillier?" Yang said while laughing.

Pelo: *sob* (AGAIN) *high-pitched pain* (It was Pelo who shot him) Noo... NOOOOO- (ded)

"... What?" Weiss said.

Nun: The gays killed him! THEY ARE FROM THE HEEEE-

They laughed again.

(Pelo is in a dark void.)

Pelo: Shit... They killed me. They killed me! (He sees Death in front of him) (fear)

"Pelo is going to the bad place." Yang said.

Death: Are you a man? Or a woman? Or a manwoman? Or a womanman? Or a dog? Or a hexagon? Do you like to dance?

"Oh my god! Are you kidding me?!" Blake said.

Pelo: (Gets angry. He screams, goes insane and kills Death.)

(Lootcrate ad)

Pelo: Now it's time to say thanks to Lootcrate!

(cheering)

Pelo: No no no, wait. Wait.

"Do we have to watch it?" Yang said.

"His ads are also fun." Nora said.

Pelo: Lootcrate is a monthly subscription that gives you cutie boxes with beauty stuff.

Lootcrate: Hello, how're you doing? It's me, Lootcrate, and-

Pelo: (excitement) (opens Lootcrate)

Lootcrate: (ded)

Pelo: Look! I have a box! (More excitement) Now, let's see what's in my box. Some T-shirts, this puppy.

Puppy: (demon noises)

Pelo: Reaper the Rapper

Reaper: Yo, yo, yo. Sombra. Es hombra. (Starts shooting)

Pelo: A knife. (cuts himself) AAAAAAAA-

They all laughed.

Pelo: Some bandaids. (Puts bandaid.) (Relief) And a bunch of stuff!

"You can win consoles with mystery boxes?! If I knew that I would gladly pay, like, how much a mystery box costs? 50 to 150 lien a month? Anyway, I would pay for that." Yang said.

"And the rest of the merch aren't bad." Jaune said.

German person: (asks if they send to Germany)

Pelo: Of course they send to Germany!

German person: (cheers)

French person: (asks too)

Pelo: Hell! (smacks him) Hell yeah, they send to France!

French person: (cheers)

Japanese person: (also asks)

Pelo: No, I don't know about Japan... But you can ask! So if you wanna kill bugs with beaut stuff, go to lootcrate srpelo, s, r, pelo, and put the code "pelo" for not 5, 6, 7, 8! But 10% OFF IN YOUR BOX! And now go. Go and buy... the stuff, the box. B- buy me some Lootcrate, with the box. Go.

Guy: Hey. These boxes are male or female?

"You can't be serious." Weiss said.

Pelo: (chokes him) STOOOOOO-

Fin

They all laughed.

"That was painful to watch, but also satisfying." Yang said.

"You tell me. Really, why so much hate? It's really stupid to hate people for such stupid reasons." Pyrrha said.

"Alright, now let's watch something else." Nova said.

And done! Like, follow, leave a review AND NOT A REQUEST, send me a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon!