I said before to not send guest reviews. But to the one who sent the latest guest review: What do you mean? When did I ever do a good one?
I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank
memes, cringe and grammar mistakes.
Chapter 102: LEAKED JOJO PHANTOM BLOOD MOVIE (by DioYouMeme)
"Okay, what's next?" Ruby said.
"Hmm... it's been a while since I've seen any JoJo meme." Nova said.
"YES!" Yang said. Weiss and Blake groaned.
"And I think I know the video we're going to see."
Phantom Blood
"At least it's Part 1." Weiss said.
Dario: Look! There's an accident. (he goes to inspect) What's this? A stone mask?
"It's one of those again? Come on." Blake said.
"What's wrong?" Nova said.
"Yang made us watch the "in a nutshell" videos." Ruby said.
"They were funny!" Yang said.
Dario: Ah, it's probably worthless and won't affect the plot at all.
George: You saved me, thank you kind sir.
Dario: Your wife's dead.
"Wow. Okay, not the best first thing to say." Blake said.
(Pause)
George: How about my child?
Dario: He isn't dead.
(Pause)
George: Damnit.
The laughed a little.
"Mission failed." Nora said.
Dario: Give me your money.
George: Ok, I will also raise your son (screen turns black)
Dario: And that's the story of how I got money, which I used to start my own hotel. But not only did it fail but my wife died as well. So what did we learn from this story, Dio, my son?
"That saving people will make your life better?" Jaune said.
"That Goerge Joestar is an idiot?" Weiss said.
"Managing a hotel is difficult?" Ruby said.
"That stealing from rich people is better?" Nora said.
Dio: (doesn't say anything)
Dario: Become the richest man alive.
(Later, somewhere else)
Bully 1: Haha Erina, we're gonna bully you.
Erina: Oh no. (Jonathan appears)
Jonathan: Stop it. It is I, Jonathan Joestar.
Bully 1: Oh no, it's a rich boy. Buy us a boat.
Jonathan: What?
"I don't get it." Pyrrha said.
"Because he's rich." Weiss said.
"Weiss, can you buy us a yacht?" Yang said.
"Quiet you."
Bully 2: Ok, that's just rude.
Bully 1: Let's beat him up. (They beat him up off-screen)
Erina: Damn, he's a true gentleman.
"I don't get it. For a twelve year old he's ripped. Why did he lose against them?" Yang said.
(Later)
Jonathan: One day I'm going to become a real gentleman. Gentlemen need to have the courage to help those in need. Even of it means getting beaten up.
"I think he confuses gentleman with hero." Ren said.
Jonathan: At least my day can't get any worse. (Dio arrives)
Dio: It is I, Dio, your new brother.
"And it got worse." Yang said.
Jonathan: Hey, I'm JoJo and I'm gonna be a gentle-
Dio: You like fish and chips?
Jonathan: No, not re-
Dio: How dare you.
They laughed a little.
"I thought British people liked it." Ruby said.
"I guess even some of them don't find it good." Yang said.
"It's not that bad." Blake said.
"Your opinion doesn't count. If your dish has fish, you'll eat it." Weiss said.
"Not all of them..."
"Like?"
"... The bad ones..."
"The bad ones."
"... Can we continue watching?"
Dio: I'll psychologically torture you to the brink. I'll take your place as the heir to the Joestar estate. I'll take your will to live. I'll eat with manners. I'll make your life a living hell. I'll be a menace to your bloodline for centuries. Even if the world was to reset, I'd still continue torturing you.
"He's not wrong." Yang said.
"How?" Pyrrha said.
"Johnny and Diego."
George: What the?
Dio: You heard all of that?
George: Yes. (Danny appears and Dio kicks him)
"Danny no!" Ruby said.
George: You're my favourite child already.
They all laughed.
Jonathan: Dio stop.
Dio: No.
"Well, he tried." Nora said.
(Later)
Dio: Haha, I have good table manners.
George: JoJo, where are your manners, go to your room.
"Did he just called him HoJo?" Jaune said.
Jonathan: Dio, I'll never forgive you for having good table manners.
"Yeah, no. That was his fault." Weiss said.
(Later)
Jonathan: *crying noises* I'm so lonely. Will I die like this? Huh? The remains of my chocolate. *eating noises*
"Every girl ever, am I right?" Nova said. But the girls just glared at him. "Come on, take a fucking joke."
(Later)
Jonathan: Boxing, ah. Finally, I don't have to see Dio.
Kid: It's boxing time! It's Jonathan Joestar against a newcomer. It's Dio Brando!
Dio: Haha, epic.
They laughed a little.
Jonathan: Oh no.
Dio: I bet my allowance.
"Someone's very confident." Blake said.
Jonathan: Oh no. (Gets knocked out.)
Kid: The winner is Dio. How did you do that?
Dio: I can teach you, but don't tell JoJo, he can't keep a secret. Also, he doesn't have good table manners.
"That's a low blow." Yang said.
"You can all joke how you want, but it is a little serious." Weiss said.
(Later)
Jonathan: Hey guys.
"Why is he hanging out with the bullies?" Pyrrha said.
Bully 1: Hey look, that's JoJo the snitch. Buy us a boat. Haha, loser. (The bullies leave. There is a pause.)
Jonathan: Diooo. Dio. Dio. Dio. Dio. Dio. Diooo.
They laughed a little.
"I love text to speech." Yang said.
Erina: Hello, I am Erina.
Jonathan: I love you Erina.
Erina: I love you JoJo. I'll go home now. (She leaves)
"Isn't that romantic?" Nora said.
"Just like in fairy tales." Blake said.
"They don't fall in love in fairy tales that fast." Ruby said.
"They do." Yang said.
(On the way)
Dio: JoJo has been way too happy recently. I'll assault you without your consent. *smooch*
"That was too intense." Blake said.
Bully 1: That's our Dio! I want to be just like him!
Dio: It was me an individual by the name of Dio Brando, son of Dario Brando, who has stolen your first kiss, which you thought was gonna be for the man of gentle, Jonathan Joestar, son of George Joestar, but because of my high intellect I was able to steal it.
"Okay, we get it." Weiss said.
"Man of gentle?" Ruby said.
Erina: Ok. (Dio slaps her)
Dio: Shut up, you piece of cheese and crackers.
"Oh, you didn't just call her that!" Nora said.
(Later)
Jonathan: I'm so happy because I'll meet Erina soon. Oh, there she is. Hey Erina!
Erina: JoJo... you just got cucked.
Some of them laughed.
Jonathan: What?
Erina: Dio kissed me, yeah! Whatcha gon do about it?
Jonathan: What?
Erina: Yeah, suck it, cuck. (She leaves)
They all laughed.
"What a bitch!" Yang said.
Jonathan: Diooooo.
(At the mansion)
Jonathan: Diooooo.
Dio: Do I what?
Jonathan: I'm gonna beat you until you cry. (Slaps Dio)
Dio: *crying noises*
"He did start crying?" Pyrrha said.
"He did."
Jonathan: What?
Dio: I'm gonna beat you fair and square. (Pulls out a knife)
"How is that fair?!" Ruby said.
George: JoJo, how dare you? How dare you hurt Dio?
"He can see the knife!" Pyrrha said.
"I can't stand George sometimes." Weiss said.
Jonathan: He's holding a knife.
George: Go to your room. I hate you jojo.
"Father of the year." Blake said.
Dio: I'm gonna burn your dog, JoJo.
George: Haha, funny joke, Dio.
"Good one Daio." Yang said.
(Later)
George: JoJo, your dog is dead. We don't know what killed him.
Some of them laughed.
"Who could've possibly done it?" Nora said.
(Several Years Later)
Jonathan: Dio, my best friend, let's play football.
Dio: Haha epic.
"Seriously, how do you forget such traumatic events and forget the one who caused it?" Weiss said.
Dio: I'll poison your father like how I poisoned my father.
Jonathan: Ok.
"I would say "who reacts like that", but after seeing all that, I wouldn't mind either."
(Later)
George: I am dying.
Jonathan: Hello dying.
They couldn't help but laugh, with Yang laughing the loudest.
"I can't believe I just laughed at a dad joke." Blake said.
"I needed that." Yang said.
George: I'm disowning you.
"Worth every fortune." Nora said.
Jonathan: Hello disowning you. (Knife sounds) Oh no I think Dio is poisoning you, I'll go find a cure.
(Later)
Dio: So this is what JoJo has been researching. (Reads Jonathan's diary) The mask has spikes that activate when blood is spilled on the mask. I'll kill him with the mask.
"He got banned from DeviantArt?" Jaune said.
"That's weird. Jonathan is a gentleman. How did he got banned? Ruby said.
"Yeah, let's not talk about how DeviantArt exists in 19th century." Blake said.
(Meanwhile)
Jonathan: I've finally arrived at Subscribetodioyoumeme street. (Best girl appears)
"Yes! Best waifu is here!" Yang said.
Speedwagon: Haha, it is I, the great Speedwagon and I will harm this man of gentle. (He throws his hat at him... but it falls down. Jonathan hits him.) So naive. You're a true gentleman.
"Boo! More violence!" Nora said.
Speedwagon: I, Speedwagon, will serve you and your descendants.
Jonathan: Nice.
?: (off-screen) Hey, that's my line, no wait, I'm not born yet.
"Who was that?" Jaune said.
"I think it was Joseph or Josuke." Yang said.
"Joseph is the one that says nice. Josuke says great." Ren said.
"Oh, right."
(Meanwhile)
Random person: Hey pretty boy, fish and chips suck. (Dio puts the mask on him and kills him. The mask transforms him.)
Dio: Wait, what is this?
Random person: I'm a vampire now.
Dio: Epic.
Random person: I'll drink your blood.
Dio: Opposite of epic.
"He could've said not epic." Weiss said.
Random person: Prepare to die.
Dio: Sunlight.
Random person: Nooooooo. (Dies)
"Wow, he died like a Minecraft enemy." Ruby said.
(Later)
Jonathan: Dio.
Dio: I am evil.
Jonathan: No.
Speedwagon: Yes, he is. His catchphrase is literally epic.
Dio: Epic.
"So evil!" Nora said.
Jonathan: Oh no. He's evil. I'll hand you over to the police.
Police officer: Haha, it is us, the police.
"Wait, that's just a modern day cop." Pyrrha said.
"It's the one from part 6." Blake said.
Dio: I reject my humanity JoJo!
Jonathan: I've seen your browsing history. You rejected it a long time ago.
They all laughed.
"Now I want to know what he was seeing." Nora said.
Dio: Shut up and taste my blade. (George comes in time and takes the stab.)
Police officer: Oh fish, oh chip. I gotta shoot him. (Dio gets shot.) My job here is done, goodbye. (Leaves)
George: JoJo, my son.
Jonathan: Father.
George: I still love Dio more than I love you. Bye. (Dies)
"Poor HoJo- I mean, JoJo." Ruby said.
Jonathan: Diooooooooooooooooooo.
Some of them laughed.
"Diowowowowoowowoowwo." Yang repeated.
Speedwagon: Well, at least Dio is dead now.
Dio: I'm a vampire now.
Speedwagon: Even Speedwagon is afraid.
"Seriously, why would he say that? What was the author taking when he wrote that line?" Weiss said.
"What was the author taking when he wrote the series in general?" Blake said.
"I want what he smoked too." Nora said.
Dio: I set the house on fire.
Speedwagon: I, Speedwagon, see.
Dio: Wryyy.
Jonathan: Diooooo.
Dio: Wryyy.
Jonathan: Diooooo.
Dio: Goodbye JoJo.
Jonathan: Diooooo.
Dio: Wryyy.
Jonathan: Diooooo.
Dio: Wryyy.
"Part 1 in a nutshell." Yang said.
(Later)
(Jonathan wakes up)
AYAYA
Yang started laughing.
"The freaking Pillar Men theme, man."
Jonathan: Erina?
Erina: Yes?
Jonathan: I love you.
Speedwagon: Speedwagon is here too. (Silence) Speedwagon withdraws cooly. (Withdraws cooly)
Some of them laughed.
"No, come back!"
(Later)
Speedwagon: Well, at least Dio is dead now.
Zeppeli: Dio's alive. I am Will Zeppeli and I will teach you sunlight breathing kung fu so we can kill him.
Jonathan: No.
Zeppeli: I'm gonna hit a frog.
Jonathan: Teach me your ways.
Zeppeli: Breath. (Silence)
Jonathan: Thank you.
"I wish it that easy."
Zeppeli: Let's go, man of gentle.
(Later)
Jack the ripper: I'm jack the ripper and I will rip you apart.
Zeppeli: That's crazy. JoJo, quickly take this glass of wine.
Jonathan: What why?
Zeppeli: Beat him without spilling it or I'll leave.
Jonathan: Ok. (Defeats Jack the ripper.)
They laughed a little.
Speedwagon: Even Speedwagon is impressed.
"And that says a lot." Nora said.
Zeppeli: That's crazy.
(Later)
Speedwagon: I, Speedwagon, want to learn hamon.
Zeppeli: You're too op already.
Speedwagon: Understandable.
"Yeah, his spinning hat is invincible." Weiss said.
"Don't insult Speedwagon!"
"Yeah, his hat either! It's really cool!" Ruby said.
Poco: I will steal your bag. (Zeppeli hops on the pond) Okay.
"Uhhh... I don't remember that scene." Yang said.
"It's when he hops on the lake to catch the kid." Blake said.
Dio: Haha it is I, Dio.
Zeppeli: Hey baby, how many have you killed?
Dio: How many breads have you eaten in your life?
Zeppeli: I have wheat and gluten allergy. (Silence)
Dio: How many nuts have you eat-
Zeppeli: I have nut allergy.
They laughed a little.
Dio: How many times have you breathed in?
Zeppeli: I have oxygen allergy.
They all laughed.
"He just trolled the biggest troll in the franchise." Nora said.
"How is he a troll?" Ren said.
"Oh, he is."
Dio: Ice hand.
Zeppeli: Oh no.
Speedwagon: Worry not, I the great Speedwagon, will warm your hand with my amazing abdominal muscles. (He does)
"How did he learned that?" Pyrrha said.
"He went to the arctic, which is like northern Atlas in terms of cold, and learned it there." Blake said.
"How did he afford to go there in the first place? I mean, he was living in the streets of London." Weiss said.
"Did you see the way he was dressed? You think someone like him couldn't afford a trip?"
Dio: Opposite of epic. Bye. (He leaves and Bruford comes)
Bruford: Hello man of gentle, it is I, Bruford the black knight. I will kill you.
Jonathan: Do you feel pain?
Bruford: Yes. (Silence) I offer you my sword.
"That was it?" Weiss said.
Bruford: Luck. Wait, let me change the name of the sword with my blood. SubscribeToDioYouMemeuck. (Dies)
They laughed a little.
"Well, he got my subscribe." Yang said.
Jonathan: I am moved. Let's go to a dungeon.
Tarkus: Hahaha, I am Tarkus and I will beat you.
Zeppeli: Haha you think you can beat me? I've trained hamon for years. I am an expert at martial arts. (He's already dead.) Damn, seems like my master's prophecy came true.
Speedwagon: What was the prophecy?
Zeppeli: "You'll die someday, lol"
They laughed a little.
"What a prediction." Blake said.
Zeppeli: Take the last of my hamon, the man of gentle.
Jonathan: Zeppeliiiiiii. (Kills Tarkus)
Speedwagon: Even Speedwagon is impressed.
"Press F." Nora said.
(The other hamon users appear)
Straizo: Hahaha, we're useless characters.
Dire: You'll probably only remember me from that one overused meme.
"Yeah, if it wasn't for the Thunder Cross Split Attack, he wouldn't be remembered." Jaune said.
Jonathan: Ok man of thunder cross split attack.
Speedwagon: Let's go kill Dio hoe.
Yaang started laughing.
"It wasn't funny." Ruby said.
(Later)
Zombie: Hey Dio, have you heard of memes?
Dio: Huh?
Zombie: Hey Dio, do you meme?
Dio: What?
Zombie: Dio you meme? (Subscribe)
Dire: Dio! You fell for it fool. Thunder cross split attack.
Dio: Ice legs.
Dire: Oh no. (Breaks and dies)
Jonathan: Dio, it's time to stop.
"Too soon." Yang said.
Dio: Not yet, wait for part 3.
Jonathan: Taste my rose.
Dio: Ice.
Jonathan: Sword.
Dio: Ice.
Jonathan: Kick.
Dio: Ice.
Jonathan: Sword again.
Dio: Ice.
Jonathan: It's on fire.
Dio: I cut your sword.
Jonathan: Punch.
Dio: Ice.
Jonathan: I'm on fire-
Dio: Laser beam.
Jonathan: Fall of a cliff.
Dio: Nooooooooooooo.
"That fight... was a little... childish?" Pyrrha said.
"It was childish." Weiss said.
"It kinda was." Yang said.
(Later)
Speedwagon: It's finally over. February 2nd, 1889. The man of gentle, Jonathan Joestar and Erina Pendleton marry. They plan to leave for their honeymoon to America on the following day. It's finally over. Dio's finally dead.
Jonathan: I love you Erina.
Erina: Remember when you got cucked?
"Next they got divorced." Blake said.
Jonathan: I'll go to the head of the ship.
Dio: Yo, what's up, it's me the head of the ship. (Ba dum tss!)
Yang started laughing like crazy.
"I hate it." Weiss said.
Jonathan: Dioooo.
Dio: I'll take your body.
Jonathan: Erina, steal someone's baby and go live in America.
Erina: Ok. (She does that)
Dio: Wryyyy, prepare to die JoJo.
Jonathan: (hugs Dio's head) Fio, it's like you said. Maybe we really are two as one. I even feel a bizarre friendship between us. And now, our fates have intertwined.
"Aww, Jonathan... why do you have to be so nice?" Yang said.
"Shut up, I like him like that. Even if it's stupid."
Jonathan: We'll disappear together as the ship explodes. Be happy Erina.
JONATHAN JOESTAR DIED FEBRUARY 7TH, 1889
Dio: Wait did he say the ship will expl- (ship explodes)
"Sad." Nora said.
Jonathan Joestar's life vanished into oblivion. His history was lost in the shadows, known to no one. He became a true man of the gentle.
END OF PART 1
"Nice video." Ruby said.
"Can we watch something "watchable" now?" Weiss said.
"Ugh, fine..." Nova said.
And done! Like, follow, leave a review AND NOT A REQUEST, send me a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon!
