I was starting to think I wasn't cut out for this whole "Kindergarten" thing. Between losing my lunch, as they say, of course, the physical strain of working and moving through the tunnel, and the mental strain of competing in not one, but two practice spelling bees, I was pretty beat. I was pretty bushed. I was pretty beaten around the bush. Needless to say, I once again fell asleep in my uncle's bus shaped vehicle. Just as my eyes were closing and I drifted off into the slumber of somnitude, I felt something small vibrating in the pocket of my tasteful black cardigan.

When I next opened my eyes, I was lying on a damp, grass-grown gravel driveway near an old wrought iron gate. I turned around and saw a flock of suspicious Canadian geese fly past me. The overcast sky and light drizzle and occasional strong breeze sent a chill down my spine. Wait a minute, where was I? I tried to raise my hand to put it over my nose and mouth to think, but found that it had been changed into a rather large toothbrush. After being startled for a second, I came to the realization: This is a dream. I'm dreaming. There was no other way my hand could have become a toothbrush, right? Though, if I ever did become a dentist, and my hand was cut off in some unavoidable freak accident, I would want a pirate hook with an unscrewable hook that could be converted into a toothbrush. That would be a blast with the kids, I bet. I chuckled elderly. I could feel a strange sensation building up inside of me as I strode down the gravel driveway, in the slight rain that pitter pattered along the ground as the distant thunder rumbled quietly in the distance. Every so often, the ground shook, as if a huge, disgusting giant were slowly walking in the distance as well and their footsteps were causing the ground to tremble tremulously.

I eventually came to a red and white checkered blanket hanging from a bare, spindly tree, whose branches clawed the sky as if it were screaming "Bring Me The Horizon". I found a sturdier branch and draped the blanket over it, creating a tent like structure from which to shelter under the rain. My back arched perilously. My liver spots intensified. My eyelids, cheeks, brow, and other facial features drooped with both fatigue and age. My beard, which I had only grown but a second ago, grew grizzled, grisly, and gray. In short, I had become… old. I gathered a circle of stones and a bundle of sticks, and attempted to start a fire in my protected zone. A fire would be peaceful here, and I could roast weenies over it if I wanted to! However, I had no weenies. All I had was this empty can of beans that I had found in my flip-top, cat in the hat hat. I used a stick and the empty can as a makeshift drum, and played a bluesy, folksy tune on my kazoo by the warmth of the fire under my little tent in the middle of a gentle storm.

Soon, as all men must, I hungered. However, I still had no weenies, and the empty can of beans was well, empty, so I couldn't do anything with that. I searched my pockets for something that my body could consume, but found only the metal disc that Owen had given me, the two chips, which were vibrating slightly and warm to the touch. No food there. If I were a character in a video game, my inventory would be almost empty. I felt the queso flowing through my body, my very veins. I lit it up, up up, lit it up up up, lit it up up up I'm on fire. The lamp was right in front of me. He left us with out any flour. There was a washer in front of me. It began spinning faster and faster and faster. A potato flashed before my eyes. The potato was orange. My name was Jordan. My name was… Jordan? Deep inside my makeshift tent, I shuddered with hunger. I strove to reach out and grab the orange potato flashing before my eyes, because consuming that would sate my hunger, but alas, as I had suspected deep down, as this was a dream, the flashing potato did not actually exist, and therefore could not actually be grabbed. My hands simply passed through it as if it were but an illusion. I could feel the air moving between my fingers rather than the rich, meaty texture of the potato. It disappointed me.

"Gee Jor-bah, that's not very respectful to the air," mumbled a voice loudly. I peered outside of the tent by the pale firelight and saw a short being wearing an oversized orange coat duck down to enter. It was Kiki. What was going on? I was already in the tent. Was somebody else allowed to be here while I was also in here? "It's only keeping you alive rn," she made sure to spell out the 'rn'. "By the way, 'sup."

I hesitantly ventured a question. "Are you allowed to be in here?" I asked, my voice faint and echoey in my own head. "I don't know the rules for this place."

Kiki looked at me a little sympathetically. "You know what you could use rn, Jor-bah," she asked, once again spelling out the 'rn'. I was also a bit annoyed that she kept calling me Jor-bah. This was my dream, wasn't it? Shouldn't I be in charge of the way she spoke? Like a stereotypical male, I ignored the words Kiki was saying to me and focused on changing the way she spoke to me.

"Some baked beans." Halfway through the word 'baked', her voice changed to that of a deep, gruff, slow-talking, British male. She didn't seem to notice. "I got a fresh can of 'em right here."

I deeply hungered for those baked beans, but I had to focus on fixing Kiki's voice. I couldn't have her sounding like a deep voiced, slow-talking, gruff British male, could I? I changed her voice again.

"Mám také dvě lžíce," said Kiki, taking two spoons out of the pocket of her oversized orange coat. It must by so comfy cozy with the chilly weather outside. She handed me one of the spoons.

"můžeme je ohřát na ohni," continued Kiki, gesturing to the fire I had made under the tent. Shoot. I couldn't even understand what she was saying anymore. Clearly, I didn't have the precise control needed to change Kiki's speech just enough to make her stop calling me Jor-bah, so I guess I just had to settle on a voice I could understand. That ended up being that of a woman with a heavy South Asian accent. Kiki mounted the can of baked beans above the fire to cook them. After all, no one wanted to eat cold beans on a cold, rainy day. They wanted to eat warm beans. The smell of the beans invaded my nostrils and made me crave them that much more.

Suddenly, I put my hands over both of my ears and began rotating around the Y axis. I curled up my legs into the fetal position and began to feel like a spit-roasted, pot-bellied, pulled-pork pig. As I rotated at a more and more constant speed, the tent, Kiki, and the baked beans faded away into the vast expanses of space. Carried by a force that had been exerted on my otherworldly form an infinite number of aeons ago, my rotating body rotated not only around the y axis, but around all three axes simultaneously, while also moving in a vector that involved all three axes as well. In short, though my voyage through space may be cold and lonely, I was achieving true movement. I've been bullied, beaten, bruised, battered, broken, and bushed around, but no more! This feels G! When I see stars, that's all they are! And when I hear a song, it sounds like this one so come on, come on, come on, aw, come on! D' P!

...but nothing happened. I had unleashed all of my power, but it had no effect whatsoever. It was not even enough to free myself of my true movement, nor effect any other force in the universe. I was one small speck of Jordan floating through the vast expanses of the universe. The unobstructed light of distant stars lit my vision as I continued to drfit, like Tokyo, through space. They had been burning since long before I was born, and long after I was gone, they would continue burning. The stars would keep on burning, and the world, like Graham, would keep on turning. We would both eventually be forgotten forever. However, the stars were too far away for their heat to reach me, so my pitiful, frozen body would never feel the embrace of their warmth. The thought gave me great aanguish. I continued to float. I continued to think. After all, there was nothing else I could do. No matter what I did, I could not change my course in the universe, and anything that could exert an outside force on me was too far out of reach. Not that I would be able to reach them anyways, because my body had been cryogenically frozen in the sub-zero temperatures of space. I had become like Ironman. I could feel my mind dulling as the cold seeped into my brain. My rich brain. It was tine to go beddy-bye… I closed my eyes softly.

My head buzzed like a buzzy bee, a fuzzy buzzard. What was the cause of the fuzzy buzzing? Could it be because of an alarm clock? Could it be a cosmic alarm clock that was built like Cogsworth, whose gigantic face was the size of the moon, and I only paled in comparison? Wait a minute, Cogsworth. That name seemed familiar for some reason. The fuzzy buzzing became less fuzzy and more buzzy. I squinted my eyes and furrowed my brows in discomfort. By narrowing my field of vision, I was able to better concentrate the light passing into my eyeballs, allowing my vision to become slightly sharper. I was in some sort of pocket dimension, surrounded by what looked like a cylindrical chamber of purple metal plates that somewhat resembled insects. Although these insects were all the same color, I couldn't help but be reminded of the ever-tessellating busy beetles William and I had "munched on" during enrichment a few days ago. I appeared to be suspended in some kind of liquid. I looked up and down the cylindrical chamber, but could not see more than maybe four meters in either direction before a blinding white light obscured whatever lay beyond.

My tummy rumbled. I still hungered so deeply for those baked beans that had faded away from right in front of me so preciously. However, as far as I knew, there were no beans in this purple cylinder. My only option was to swim up or down into the light and hope that it took me somewhere else. I decided to swim up. I headr a strange sound effect as I swam into the light, that pierced my eyelids and turned my vision white even though my eyes were shut tight. Suddenly, all was cold and black as night. Star light, star bright. First star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might. Have this wish I wish tonight. Gasoline is out of sight. Now we're talking dynamite. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two One. Kablooie. The trash can exploded. The trash can exploded. The trash can exploded. The trash can exploded. I wished I was a piece of pumpkin pie, way up in the sky. I didn't want to die. I wished I could fly. I was only an average guy. I watched my paper cry. Lie, lie, lie lie lie, deedle deedle die die die. I let out the breath I didn't realize I had been holding until just now and stopped pretending to rap. I opened my eyes and descended like a elegant cygnet into the cold, empty desert at night. A ring of sand poofed around my feet as I touched down ever so slightly. Surrounded by nothing but rocks, sand, cacti, and surprising amount of various other organisms, I looked up to the stars. In the middle of the desert, where you can't remember your name, there was no human-made lighting to diminish their shine and natural beauty, they shone brightly, like they had never shone before, and would eventually never shine again. In fact, those stars were also probably millions of miles – no, 🅱illions of 🅱iles away, so the light I was seeing now had taken lots of lightyears to travel from those stars.

The point I was trying to make, basically, was that the stars I was looking at were already dead.

Was that really all right?

Was there anything I could do about it?

If not, did it even matter?

As my conscioussness eventually came to the collective realization that all of the stars I saw were dead, just like every planet the Gorillaz reach, they all slowly faded into oblivion, leaving the moon, the big old moon, and by extension the sun, as the only sources left of light. I felt incredibly ancient after waiting for the stars to go out. However, I wasn't ancient. I was a dentist. And if there was one more tooth-pullin' thought I needed to have, it was that if the sun, the star keeping the planet I was currently living on, and by extension myself, alive, died like every other star already had, then all life on earth would only have about eight more minutes to exist before dying forever, just like the sun.

Eight minutes. That was all I had left to complete my mission. I used the palm-n'-sole mounted rockets on my hands and feet to blast off out of the desert in a swirling cloud of sand. I soared like a robot, feeling a visor to protect my eyes generating in front of my face. However, since I had once worn glasses, I didn't find the feeling uncomfortable or unfamiliar. If it wouldn't've messed up my entire flight trajectory, I would've curled my hand to my forehead advancedly. After about half an hour of flying over the desert in the pale moonlight, I noticed the light of civilization in the distance. I zoomed my accelerator and flew faster, now that I had a destination.

In the dead of night, the only lights keeping this small, coastal shipping city alive were those down at the docks. Huge, or as the people that worked here would say, 'yuge, LED floodlights rotated around the docks, where fat stacks of rainbow cargo containers created a vast labyrinth between the concrete lands and the treacherous waters. I touched down on a roof of one of the warehouses in this section as stealthily as the bright, loud palm-n'-sole mounted rockets would allow, before ducking behind a section of the roof to avoid the gaze of the LED floodlight. I felt like a spy in a spy movie. I only had to make it to the control room at the base of the floodlight and disable the floodlight, and my mission would be complete. I looked down at my feet. They began to dissipate.

"Oh, crap," I said out loud, as I quickly twisted the rest of my body to face towards the LED floodlight that had discovered my form. However, one thing that I was unaware of until just now was that if the LED floodlight happened to shine on a human, that human's body would dissipate. Unfortunately, I had let my guard down and as a result, my body dissipated. I had failed my mission.

Was that really all right?

Was there anything I could do about it?

...Yes.

My visor opening up to reveal my glowing, robotic eyes, I crashed back down powerfully on top of the roof where my previous body had just been dissipated by the LED floodlight. Timing my movements carefully, I ducked behind a section of the roof to avoid the rotating light before jumping high into the air, aided by my palm-n'-sole mounted rockets. Once I attained an appropriate altitude, I reversed the propulsion of my rockets and rocketed back down towards the tippy top of the LED floodlight. I could feel my arms transforming, glowing with power and growing even more robotic rockets and energy cannons. In short, I was Krwlng in my skin.

I ka-thoomed down onto the floodlight with such force that the entire structure rattled and the ground shook. Charging up all of my armaments, I unleashed the full extent of my power.

"Special Move!" I screamed. "Liquid Laser Removal!" All of the energy cannons and rockets fired at once, creating a devastating explosive shockwave that traveled throughout the structure of the LED floodlight, shaking it to its very foundation and crumbling the intergrity of its infrastructure. In short, I had pulverized the floodlight tower from the inside out. It crumbled and collapsed with a deafening roar. My ears still rang from the combination of that sound and the sound of firing off my special move. My energy was also completely spent, so I could do nothing except lay, or as the French would say, le, in a crumpled heap in the rubble. Well, the control room had also been destroyed, but the LED floodlight had been disabled, so my mission was complete, right?

Wrong. The dust of the rubble began swirling unnaturally, as if it was being controlled by an unseen force. I could do nothing but lie there, breathe, and watch in horror as the dust began swirling faster and faster, eventually aggregating into larger and larger clumps until they reached the size of golf balls, then tennis balls, then baseballs, then bowling balls, and eventually vacuumed together to form a being that could only be described as the evolution of the LED floodlight tower: a being witha rotating, dual headed siren where its head should be. Its form was unnaturally tall and lanky, but simultaneously quite thicc, like that of a giant redwood tree. Its impossibly large hands and long fingers dragged across the ground as it walked, dangling from its loosely hanging, unnaturally long arms. I wanted to scream in primal terror as the being approached me, but my breath could only come in ragged spurts. I wanted to move, and my brain was sending all of my signals to my body to move, but my body would not move. My brain continued panicking harder and harder as the being was now only three rather large steps away from me.

Suddenly, the being paused. It turned its eyeless head towards my helpless, prone form on the rubble as if it were looking right at me. Rather than having a heart attack, I felt like I was having a brain attack. It reared back its mighty head and from the rotating, dual headed siren, emitted both an earsplitting wail and a blinding LED light that spun at an impressive 5,500 rotations per minute. I felt like I was laying right next to the sun. I felt like my brain was about to explode. It got to the point where I was no longer sure whether the being was still doing this, because my ears and eyes were completely shot. I felt the slimy, cool caress of the being's long fingers across my body as the slowly folded around me, as if I were but a prize in a carnival crane game. The being picked me up with its bare hands and dangled me in the air. I smelled something vile and acidic. Suddenly, I felt the being release me and the rush of gravity as I free-fell through the air for a few seconds before bouncing off something that felt like the side of a giant zipper and falling into the mysterious beyond.