Chapter 16: Trial of Character


June 3rd. Near Noon.

(Koubuin House. Takeru's classroom.)

[Native Takeru]


Gripping the pencil really tightly, I return the evil stare of the problem as I pluck my lips. Mulling over what I could have done wrong, I retry the math.

But it still isn't giving me an answer. Both X and Y can't be negative in this case, right? Or was it the other way around? Stupid math, why does it has to be so complicated… Give me back my numbers, these letters are so dumb. Why do I gotta use letters in math?!

I groan a bit, deciding to leave that problem and start focusing on another.

"Uuh…" This isn't going like in the books. Then, what do I do?

Alright, let's try something else. If I can't reach the answer from this part, maybe I can reach it by backtracking from the last number that's in the question.

So, if this has to be more than that, and this one has to be positive…

…I wanna scream.


Around half an hour later…


"Well, the class is over. Shirogane, your test please."

"Uuh… Here." Sensei takes the papers and, without looking at them, she puts them in one of those brown folder things.

"I was expecting you to have some difficulty, however seeing you struggle this much is concerning." She says as she looks at me, arching her brows.

"Is it really that bad?"

"If you're having this much trouble adapting, then your options look very bleak. Math is a key component in many of the possible roads you could be bestowed, so failing to meet this level of aptitude will assuredly close those doors."

"Eh?! T-Then… Um…"

"Worry not, we still have this month to prepare you. So, do reread what you found most complicated." …That means I have to read everything again.

"Okay. I'll try harder from now on." I give Sensei a bow and she smiles, playing with her hair as she grabs her purse and leaves the room.

I have been studying better, but these things are too hard. It's just been a week and they're already giving me this hard test. Dad… Mom… How did you pass these questions?

I thought I would have many small exercises like before, but there were only three. And they were more complicated than all the ones in the books so far. It's not fair, I didn't have anything like those to practice. How could I have known that they were going to have many different stuff on the same question? Wait, maybe I could try to solve exercises in pairs? Like, having to get a right answer for both questions instead of solving them one by one?

Oh! That might work! Hehehe, next time you won't win, you dumb test.

…But what do I do about the history one? I can somewhat remember the names and dates… But writing why stuff happened is kinda hard. Sensei said I had to use 'proper' words when he read over my test, and I think I forgot some stuff.

I slowly rub my arms, Shion hit me so hard yesterday she gave me a bruise. She did apologize, but… I couldn't do anything. When they started using the Mugen whatever-it's-called I couldn't even parry. My swings simply didn't connect, it was like when I first met them. All this time… I thought I was getting better…

"Takeru?"

"Oh, hi Maya-nee." I stand up, putting my case inside my bag. "You took some time to come here, did something happen?"

"…No, nothing of the sort." She taps her glasses, closing her eyes really slow. "Follow me, it is time for lunch." I put my bag on my back and grab Maya-nee's hand. "Do let me tell you something before we leave."

"Hm? What's up?"

"Today I shall be busy, so you should prepare to leave the classroom as soon as you finish your next classes."

"Oh… Okay." She nods and then we leave the classroom.

She does look kinda tired now compared to how she was back home. Her grip on my hand is tighter than how it used to be. Maybe something bad happened during yesterday's meeting? Yohime-san did seem rather weird at dinner.

"Maya-nee, did you get in trouble?"

"Huh? Why would I be in any trouble?"

"Yesterday at dinner, Yohime-san was kinda weird, didn't talk much after all. And you spent a lot of time talking with her after dinner was over. You never leave me waiting alone in the hallway for that long."

"Sigh…"

"See? You're sighing a lot these days, too. Is it because of this thing you're busy with today?"

"It is nothing you should worry about, Takeru."

"…Am I giving you trouble?"

"What? Why would you think so?"

"I mean…"

"Takeru…" Maya-nee stops, crouches and places a hand on my cheek. "You are no trouble. There are some sudden matters I needed a detailed briefing on, nothing else."

"Really?"

"Yes, worry not." She ruffles my hair and then stands up, grabbing my hand again. "So, how did you fare in your tests?"

"…Not good, I think." I say as we begin to walk again.

"I see. What did you find to be the most troublesome subject?"

I explained to her what I found weird about the exercises on the way. She remained looking at me in silence as I talked, until we reached my room. I left my bag near a wall, moving to my closet.

"And also, there were very few questions." I say as I take off my 'school' shirt, putting a more comfy one on. "The problems had me doing a lot of stuff so I got stuck many times."

"I see. And what of your history test?"

"Sensei said I did some things right, but that my writing wasn't proper enough." I puff a cheek, getting out of the room.

"I did tell you to beware of that habit of yours. Have you been practicing your writing?"

"Yeah, I did try harder than before… But I don't have time for everything." Even with Masahide-san's advice, I can only do some things everyday. I can't tackle everything the adults tell me I need to study. So this is why Kazora-san told me to make more effort…

"Sigh… Well, you should focus on polishing your weaknesses. So, do you feel ready for the tests of this afternoon?"

"…No, but I'll do my best." I furrow my brows and nod. Maya-nee stares at me for a while before nodding.

We kept talking until we made it to the usual room. No one was there so we had lunch just the two of us, with her giving me more advice on how to study from now on before taking me back to the classroom.


Same Day. 05:52 PM.


"Ugh…" I can't think anymore… I'm at my limit.

"Hmm… Your writing seems to have improved, color me surprised." My linguistic teacher said as she looked over my test. "Well, you did manage to at least address all questions in detail, it seems."

"Yes… I did my best today."

"Good. Do remember to reread some exercises for next Friday. Until then." I stand up and give her a bow, she smiles and, grabbing her purse, she leaves.

I sit back again and slump into the table, feeling a pencil under my chin. This was nuts too. I think I was proper enough this time… I hear my stomach grumbling, I open my mouth wide as I yawn. Feeling a small shiver run on my back as I stretch my arms to the other end of the table, I close my eyes for a little while.

"Takeru? Are you asleep?"

"Oh, Maya-nee." She comes closer, but she's furrowing her brows.

"Takeru, I told you to quickly put your utensils back today, did I not?" She says as she grabs my notebook and puts in my bag, kinda too fast.

Oh, right. I forgot she told me she was busy.

I nod as I put my pencil case back in, and once I had everything in my bag Maya-nee quickly grabs my hand and leads me out of the room. It… kinda hurts.

"Maya-nee? What's wrong?" She looks weird. Her eyes are really sharp, and her steps are kinda fast too.

"Nothing, let us go to the dining room. By the way, today you won't be able to go to the dojo."

"Eh?! Why?"

"There is another important meeting arranged in the house for tonight, so Father, Shion and Mion, as well as me, are busy for this evening. And before you ask, you cannot join this time."

"Why?" I pout at her, she sigh again while tapping her glasses.

"Because it is restricted only to those who are already members of the Royal Guards."

"The pickles aren't samurais yet."

"But they belong to my family, so they have to be present. Sorry, but this time you truly cannot come with us." …Just like Kazora-san said, since I'm not from a samurai family… I'm still a stranger here.

"…Is it because I'm bad?"

"Of course not. This is a more formal meeting for a very important fellow of us, so you simply cannot join, as many others in the house also won't."

"Okay… Then, I'm going to have dinner with the rest later?"

"No, as I said, we will be busy for today. You'll have a bigger meal now, and you'll have your food taken to your room later at night." She then picked up her pace, seeing that there was no one around.

"Then, what will I do until night?"

"You shall stay in your room. Use this free time to study well for the coming tests."

"…Yes."

After she left me in the dining room, she told me she was busy and left. I ate alone, watched by a guard dressed in black. Once I finished, he took me back to my room, telling me he was going to bring me dinner and take me to the bath later tonight, and that I should remain in my room, that I shouldn't wander around or go to the inner gardens. I started studying again, trying to solve the exercises how I thought to do before, but I stopped after a while.

They had an important meeting but Maya-nee still had to come pick me up. And she left so fast too. This time they didn't let me go with them. I am really not a bother to them?

I look outside the window, to the darkening sky. This feels like when Maya-nee scolded me back home. Did I do something bad? Or… I rest my hands on the glass, looking at the clouds. Maybe I am a stranger here, and Kazora-san was right? How did Dad manage to be accepted as a samurai by the rest?

"Sigh…" I look at the clock that I had brought from home. 07:33 PM, huh?

I open the window and go outside, as I usually do when I can't sleep since it's right by the side of the gardens in the back. I walk slowly, to not make a sound, and peek around the corner of the wall. There's no one here, so I should be able to stay as always, right? They told me to not go to the central gardens, they said nothing about the one in the back.

I walk to it and lay on the grass, looking up. The sky looks so nice… And, unlike from the window at home, I can see a lot of stars now. My tests didn't go that well, Yohime-san is acting weird, and now they leave me here as if I had done something bad. Am I… really that much of a problem? What happened with the papers Koume-san had to present?

Kazora-san said some samurais won't like me, that they might be mean. What if… everybody in my class is like that? At least I had Sumika and the rest back home, but what if I can't make new friends? What if everyone thinks I'm strange?

I wanna do my best, I wanna be like Dad. But… I hug my sides, sniffing a bit. Feeling the cold wind of night rustling around, I again look at the sky and clouds.

"Dad, Mom, everything gonna be fine, r-right?"


Same Day. 06:03 PM.

(Koubuin House. Central Hall.)

[Masahide]


The hall was brightly decorated in thistle and white, quite a few tables where champagne and delicacies had been served filled the place as the subtle noise of chatter could be heard. While we still hold meetings as our traditions demand, all formal and grand meetings take this form in image of the more western celebrations after all these years of sharing pleasantries with the international community. I personally do not mind it much.

I run a hand over my spike, that despite Mother's complains we couldn't manage to subdue as usual, as I look around for a moment, taking in the view of a pleasant evening.

However, as much as I enjoy the sight of what Yohime-sama prepared for me today…

"And, what was your opinion of her last works?" One of my female fellows asked, breaching my personal space and forcing my eyes to dart away from the curvaceous visage that pressed against the fabric from within her aquamarine kimono. I swear, she keeps doing it on purpose.

"They were… peculiar, one might say. The duology was one of her best stories, albeit becoming too complex at times. I also believe the silver soldier's fate to be far too cruel." She nods in agreement as others around us also do while I place a hand over my burgundy and white attire, matching Father's one as he insisted I should do, being the next heir.

My feet are rebelling against my morals, I wish to sit down and yet I cannot simply send my fellows away, since they specifically came to this meeting to talk with me. I had feared some would perhaps remain in their old attitude, hidden sarcasm spicing their words as my cousins tend to do, but luckily the vast majority have been amicable today. I know it is but a show of courteousness, especially since this is an event made due to my return, however it is good to see that at least a few are slightly more receptive to my words and honest about their stances as well. This has been a pleasant meeting so far, with the exception of the… Ahem, not entirely subtle gazes a few sent my way when a fellow Osaka Guard inquired if I still was single, as well as all those who have come far closer to my person than I'd like.

…I can already see why you grew to despise the courting meetings, Sister.

I take a small step back, allowing my eyes some relief to not fall onto unproper locations, and retreat my lips to the comfort of the rim of my glass, letting the malbec once more greet my palate. I look around for a moment as those around me speak with one another and spot Sister some distance away from me, she and some of her fellows were also looking my way. I rose my glass in salutation, they returned the gesture with Sister moving two fingers, signaling me to go her way.

I excused myself from my nearby fellows, a small bow in between, which was answered with some handshakes and a few more questions before I could depart, as well as two of my fellows yet again coming closer than I would have liked to express how truly honored they were to had the chance to speak with me, upturned eyes and curving smiles my way. Sigh… I would be lying if I said I am unfazed, but there's a point in which such obvious flattery becomes a chore to deal with.

I slowly made my way to Sister's side, looking at the hall as I did so. It is surreal, almost. All of this joy, all of this pleasantry is forced to live within the projection of a candle's light, it's true shape revealed onto the shadows that was cast around.

These days, while I have been made subject to Mother's reviews of my candidates, I found some time to return to the Osaka Castle, to give one last visit to Takahisa-sama's office, to place flowers onto our barracks and the memento of my squadron, as well as attend some meetings. I had my introduction to Kurosawa-san and his retainer in the briefing room there, where we discussed business for the most part.

However, it seems the situation is far more delicate than I thought. The sixth prototype of this new frame that has been in development to make our first Japanese TSF for the IJA has been completed and field tested not so long ago, bringing forth spectacular results it seems. Kurosawa-san said the original idea behind the Asuka Project was to further enhance said frame for the creation of a successor to the Zuikaku, as I was notified in my papers, since the performance of the sixth prototype surpassed all expectations placed on our industries. This is a crucial turning point, since it means that the Empire will have most of it's forces using domestic TSFs in the following decades once the F-4 derivatives are retired.

This is especially important to quell the loud minority that is completely against any and all further collaborations with the US for military matters, since now it seems that the plan to enhance the F-15 to meet the specifications that the Royal Guard desired has been completely discarded. I still do not understand what makes those people be so adamant in their opposition.

In spite of these pleasant news, the Ikaruga House is pushing to instead make a complete overhaul of the frame, aiming to take it to 'it's highest possible performance' regardless of the costs of the project. While it is true that with the resources of the Guard we could bring about such a machine, it is most foolish to not take into account the costs to build and maintain such a TSF.

What good does it do to us to make such a powerful machine if we can only make a handful of them a year? I believe the Americans suffered from this as well, I do recall that when we did some small talk in the PX back in India some of their TSF pilots complained about how they were looking forward to piloting one of their new models, Strike-fighter I believe they called it, but that due to sudden budget cuts the project was canceled.

I am sure we would benefit from making our next TSF a capable machine, but perhaps Ikaruga-sama's vision is a too extreme one. From what I gather, the Youkou Program is finished on it's sixth phase and ready to move onto making a craft fit for mass-production, with some luck being ready for the '93 or the beginning of the '94, and according to Kurosawa-san there are rumors that a second TSF could also be made from the sixth prototype. I do not know if it is to imitate the High-Low Mix approach, however it seems that our private sector and the Ministry of Defense's R&D Department have forged a good relation in these years of arduous research.

…Reason why many in the Royal Guard seem to be on edge about this whole affair, having the IJA receive not one but two TSFs was bound to generate this reaction in the conservatives, I am not surprised. And due to this, many are the discussions that have been instigated within all Regent Houses to further empower our would-be new TSF resulting from the Asuka Project.

And, of course, since our industries are already hard pressed in the development of these new TSFs as well as finishing the delivery of the Kagerous, we are on our own for this project, last in the priority list. According to my orders and Kurosawa-san's words, there was some tension with the Domestic Next Gen. TSF R&D Agency regarding the disclosure of their research's results for the testing crafts. All points to some high ranking people in the IJA wishing to sell the crafts to America and other nations, taking the credit for these developments, and doing the same to the Shogunate instead of sharing them openly.

I know we are not entitled to take their hard earned work from them without just reward, but they could have handled the situation far better than they did, in my opinion. This will only serve to make many brand all of them as American sympathizers, as well as brewing more animosity from and towards the Shogunate. Especially since, technically, the IJA does serve the Shogun as well. Forcing His Highness to interject to have them share their research's results… I wonder if someone pushed those men in the IJA to such stalwart opposition to further instigate tension between us. It's too convenient, just when we could begin to form a domestic TSF fleet… One Regent House pushes to further enhance the frame to be on top of the IJA, while the IJA refuses to hand over their developments to the Guard, looking to sell the rights to us instead.

…It's too convenient. Who made the first move, however? Is Ikaruga-sama reacting to a ploy of America? Or, are the Americans growing tense at our developments, more so if they got word of the proposal to further enhance the frame? Perhaps, are both sides reacting to avoid a 'possible worst case', and in the process managing to bring it about? Sigh…

In the end, both the IJA and the Guard agreed to share their boons with each other after His Highness called certain people to a meeting, and so, we shall be working with both Fugaku Industries and the Onda Technical Research Institute to give birth to our next TSF. However, due to this wish to further enhance the frame, we are at an impasse on how further we are willing to go, and that is causing us to yet again waste valuable time arguing among ourselves.

I frankly do not like this. What is the need to sow such restlessness? The Asuka Project was meant to be what united all of us, the private sector, the IJA and the Royal Guard, under the common goal that is to bring about our best possible craft, yet it now is splitting us apart. Even more so if the prior unrest was caused by Americans wishing to brew hostility within our ranks, we should all be trying to reach a common ground.

To have to develop yet another OS, to force our fresh trainees to remain on the Zuikaku, to disregard the overall cost, in time and money, that this will cause… All of this will only create more tension, giving credit to all those in the media that say we abuse our standing to receive unnecessary amounts of funds.

…Also, I know it is but a petty matter, but I do earnestly like how the testing craft head's shape is reminiscent of a rabbit, so I am also opposed to changing it. Sigh… The project has already lost a few months of work due to these pointless debates, and it hasn't been decided which way we shall pursue yet. All the while sowing more and more tension.

Luckily, Kurosawa-san seems to be an honest, down-to-Earth fellow. I feared I would have been paired with one of our more stoic men, but fate has bestowed me kindness this time. I will have to be mindful of his retainer, the woman might be petite but she is not someone I wish to upset, going by the soft current that laid in her voice when I was questioning Kurosawa-san. According to him, we shall have complete freedom in this endeavor. Saionji-sama said that 'the Heavens are the limit' for this project, and so, we… practically can aspire to create a no-compromises craft, regardless of it's final shape. Which I hope still has a bunny-like head.

Now it's a matter of which proposition is accepted as the base for the project… The one coming from the Ikaruga and Takatsukasa Houses, or the one from the Koubuin and Kujo Houses.

I move my neck, hearing it crack, as I slow down my pace when I approach the group that had called for me.

"How has your night been so far?" Sister brings me back to the meeting, smiling my way.

"Frankly, my feet are most upset as of now." I regain a faint smile, casting the fog and sourness aside as I slowly moved my shoulders.

"Haha, if that is the sole complain you possess, then the night is going well. Did you make use of this time to court one of your candidates, perchance?" She smirks at me, a finger on her lips.

"Sigh… Please spare me from that. Mother will in due time pry that out of me." She giggles again, leading me to the group she was in.

"Well, worry not. I at least won't be the one pressuring you." She smiles at me brightly, standing to a side. "Now then, allow me to introduce you."

I returned the bows of those she presented to me, those I did not already met taking a brief moment to tell me of their positions within our ranks. I do welcome her initiative as well as her support to aid me in leaving my timidity behind, yet I still believe this to be a tad too much.

"…And lastly, I am sure you already know her, but for formalities' sake, towards here is Kaori Kisaragi." Sister bowed slightly as she gestured with her hand in the direction of the last person to be introduced.

Now we were of similar stature, unlike the past times we met. With her dark brown hair trimmed shortly, she returned my gaze with those almond-colored eyes of hers, sharp and serious as always. Her slim figure dressed in her magenta and pine green kimono looked most charming, she gave me a short bow that I returned.

"Good evening, Masahide-san."

"Good evening to you too, Kaori-sama. How have you been faring?" She brought her hands together by her waist, seeming to be holding her left wrist softly, as she returned a gaze my way.

"I've been fine. I am still working as a guard of the Castle. Will you be returning to your post there?" The others, who did not dare to pose a question towards my future endeavors, focused on the conversation yet again.

"No, I have been ordered to work elsewhere."

"I see… I wish you good luck in your endeavors."

"Thank you. I hope Sister didn't gave you much trouble while she was in the Castle?"

"Whatever do we mean by this, brother of mine?" Sister narrowed her eyes at me, spinning a series of tamed embers at me which made the others laugh.

"All the contrary, Raiko-san has been a most trustworthy partner in my duties." Kaori-sama answered, without delay and as honest as usual. "Regardless, might I ask if you'll be present for Yohime-sama's birthday?"

"…Wait, is that time of the year already?"

"That is true, it is June already." One of the men said, sending a hand to his hair. "Time sure flies as of late, it seems like it was but only a few days ago that the year started."

"Indeed." Sister replied. "Summer has already come to greet us. This first half of the year has went by strangely fast, would you not agree?" Everybody then nodded, some chuckling at the notion.

…I can't say I agree.

My memories from January resemble something that occurred ages ago. Those first recon missions of the year, the coming culling operation on February, all the preparations, the drills for Swaraj as well as our cooperation in the evacuation efforts… My throat dries up just as it was while in India, yet I feel no oppressing warmth on my person as of now. Only the glacial cloak of the memories, what but a flower unable to blossom, what but a chain screeching loudly in image of a hyena binding itself onto my stomach upon the remembrance of those days.

…It hurts, my stomach is slowly beginning to turn and spin. If only I hadn't lowered my guard… Maybe I wouldn't be the only survivor if I had taken part of that last assault. If only I had been more careful…

"Masahide?" Sister voice reached me within the hollow daydream. I once more returned to the meeting, taking a deep breath to calm myself down as she gazed at me.

"…My apologies, I was lost in thought for a moment."

"What is it? Are you feeling unwell?" She asked, arching her brows in concern.

"No, I was merely reflecting on how long this year has felt for me in comparison." I manage to, somehow, form a smile on my face, easing the chain's grasp on me. "However, it is a surprise. I had forgotten Yohime-sama's birthday was so nearing. Do you all plan to visit the House then?" I veer my gaze to look at them, but not in the eye, to divert the conversation away and clear the air, both around and within me.

We kept making small talk, discussing what we would do on the coming celebration, they then telling me some stories of their work, Sister filling me in on the details I wasn't aware of and all of us sharing some insight when we could. The conversation then flew again to art and literature, yet I couldn't help but to notice…

Kaori-sama is not taking part in it as she used to on the prior meetings I attended before leaving. It is most odd to see her wavering to interject, more so for the rest to also not welcome her into the talks, especially the Fudais. Due to her… prideful and business-like way of being we never truly spoke much with each other, just like I was with Maya-sama before. As I was staring, she returned the gaze and twitched for but a moment, however she didn't look away. …She seems exhausted, strained almost.

There are no eyebags nor any visible harm, but it is not like her to remain so quiet, to hesitate in speaking up, or to not call me out for being staring at her, to just return my gaze as she does now so… quietly.

Yet… I can't help but to lower my brows and allow my shoulders to sink. It is almost as when Sister spoke of her setbacks, faint cracks are evident as rain clouds in the horizon that lies beyond her eyes. It is saddening to see her in such form. I wonder if something akin to what Maya-sama went through while she was away happened to her as well?

"…By the way, what do you think of said concert, Kaori-sama?" Finding an opening in the conversation, I smile her way while speaking slowly. "If I recall correctly, you do favor these western styled music in particular?" I do remember music to be one of the topics she enjoys, so perhaps she can loosen up by talking about it. Her gaze drifts left, bringing a finger to her chin.

"I believe it to be one of the best in recent times. The Isumi couple are very talented musicians, few could compare to their skill." She did not hesitate on her answer, then why was she keeping quiet?

Having taken part of the conversation, she now quietly discusses the matter with our fellows, no stiffness nor delay in her words. What could have caused her to be so silent a moment ago?

Oh, has she been sent here against her will? If she had other plans and was sent here as a formality… I could see why she would be in a bad mood, and yet… That does not align with the way her eyes were returning my gaze. I see no forced politeness nor inconvenience in her as of now, even if that subtle tiredness remains barely under the surface.

Midway through the conversation about the concert, a partner of one of our fellows came to take him towards her circle of discussion, other two were then summoned by their parents, who gave me and Sister a court bow that we returned when they approached us. And so, the conversation came to an end, with the others excusing themselves, giving me a handshake and then saying some words to Sister before departing.

I do wonder where is Maya-sama… Or Guren-sama for that matter. Patrolling, perhaps? There are some matters I would like to discuss with them, especially regarding this 'book exchange letter' that Kobayashi-san asked me to deliver to Takeru-kun.

I suppose I could go to Yohime-sama directly if I am unable to find them. However, perhaps it would be for the best if I left this matter rest for now. I do have to come here again tomorrow for my final briefing. Now then, what should I-

"Masahide-san?" Kaori-sama speaks up from my side, closer to me than I had thought she was.

"Yes?"

"I was wishing to ask you some questions, would you be free as of now?"

"I suppose… Oh, where is Sister?" Kaori-sama pointed a finger to our left, Father seemed to be wishing to take Sister to meet someone.

Another courting meeting, now of all times? I curved a brow, giving a bow to Sister as she looked my way, her face as strained as our joints during the aftermath of a battle.

Father looked my way, smiled, gave me a nod, and then proceed to leave with Sister, who was most obviously dragging her feet.

As 1st Lt. Shirogane would have said, what a Destroyer in the rear.

As they went their ways, I looked around and spotted some of the other Heads that were invited, talking among themselves. Oh, there is Guren-sama. Well… Nobody seems to be approaching me for the moment.

"My apologies, Masahide-san." I turn to a side to see Kaori-sama lifting herself from the bow she had given me while I was looking around. "If you are busy, you may leave."

"No, it is alright. I was actually merely looking around." I smile her way, drinking the last remnants of wine on my cup and moving towards a chair. "I did say my feet are most tired, so I do welcome the chance to finally sit down." I smile as I slowly retract onto the seat, pouring just a bit more of wine onto my glass. "Now then, if you don't mind me asking, how have the Castle Guards been as of late? Are the sim practices as arduous as they used to?"

"Oh no, by goodness, they have increased in difficulty." Her tone regained a shade of the sturdiness she always used to display in it as she sat down by my left. "Yohime-sama has asked us to improve further since… well, the news of your mission arrived to us."

"I see… By the by, Sister mentioned how… dull the guarding duty had become as of late. Has anything happened to the arrangement of patrols?"

"No, nothing of note. Raiko-san simply dislikes repetitive work." A small smile is painted in her face. "So, um…"

"Yes?"

She brought a few fingers to her fringe, her eyes veering away. Seeing her being this bashful gave some delay to my breathing. I know I am reiterating myself, but it is most odd for her to display such apprehension. I cross my arms and shift on my seat, awaiting her words.

"…Could I… inquire about your time in India?" Her voice hiccuped in the middle, almost stuttering. I suppose they were foretold not to ask, but as a fellow pilot she must be wanting to know.

"Regarding our battles, I suppose?"

"Ah, yes, indeed. I was hoping that you could perhaps share your insight after your experience, I would like nothing more than to sharpen myself further if I ever am called to serve." Taking a small pause, her eyes yet again strangely fell away from mine.

"There is no need for you to be so tense, Kaori-sama. I know it is a delicate matter but I am willing to share what intel I can divulge with you." She looked at me again, this time making a small smile. Did she think I would refuse?

"Thank you kindly. Of course, if there is anything you would be wishing to know, I am willing to share what little intel I might have with you as well."

"That would be appreciated." I slowly inhale again through my nose, it making me truly uncomfortable to have her be this respectful towards me. But, well, it is good to see her willing to speak with me openly. "Then… I suppose I should start with the dogfighting. While we are taught that close combat is a last resort only to be used when one runs out of ammo, I believe there is much to be gained by employing fast, line-piercing, precise melee assaults in certain locations. It is also an inevitability, since one might not always have the space needed to change a magazine without risking one's TSF to be surrounded."

"Am I right to assume then that you would recommend me to polish my Iaido skills, then?"

"Assuredly so. A wide, long, downwards slash is sometimes all you can do when out of ammo to regain space, and the precise usage of knives to aid one's partners were they come to be grounded and grabbed by the enemy is also crucial."

We kept discussing battle tactics and formations for some odd minutes, Kaori-sama relaxing onto the stride I knew her for, criticizing my logic fairly despite using frontal and scarce words.

"I see. To draw out the dagger mid-jump and perform an attack maneuver in such narrow a space… Is it truly possible?" She arches a brow in incredulity.

"Yes, my fellow saved my back with such a maneuver. I do agree that it was most reckless, but results are the lords of the battlefield."

"That might be so, however, the strain it puts into the machine, as well as the danger of the maneuver failing, is too high. I still believe flight tactics to be more effective than separated elements doing piercing maneuvers." She said, in her usual quick and firm tone. "Ah, I am not dismissing your opinions, it's just-"

"It is fine, I took no offense. In the end, no battlefield is ever the same. I merely believe having more options is never a bad thing."

"Indeed. Well, you have my gratitude, Masahide-san. Thanks for indulging me."

"No, there is no need. It is my pleasure to help."

"In any case, is there anything that you would be liking to ask?"

"Yes, actually…" I fixate my gaze onto her eyes, dulling my smile. She stiffens up at the change, shifting her arms and taking a slightly more upright posture. "How have you seen these last months? I've heard there have been many discussions within our ranks as of late."

"Ah… Yes, that is the case. At least, in the Castle there is nothing going on, but I can tell you what little I heard in my house. Would that be alright with you?"

"Yes, by all means."

She then proceeded to tell me what she could, of how the training of fresh recruits became harsher, of how the Osaka Guards and those in her family reacted to the news of Swaraj and how she discussed them with other Guards from other Regent Houses, and of the harsh competition her family faces in their areas.

Despite remaining as factual as ever, I could see that, unlike Sister, she does refer to the inductees and Tozamas as fellows. When I brought up if some of our fellows were acting in… unsightly manners, covering it by saying the pressure got to some of us while in India, she used words similar to mine own when repining about some mock battles and how the female squadrons of our faction were treated by our own fellows. I can see she, perhaps, could begin to see like I do now. And above all, going by the unwavering pronunciation and small delay in her answers, I can see she is being honest.

But still, the tiredness is ever present in her tone, slower than I remembered it to be, her gestures also having a slight delay. I do know her family suffered some setbacks, and Sister did say Kaori-sama's Father had died. I wonder how are they faring. Is there perhaps something we could aid them in?

"Ahem, Kaori-sama?" I speak up as she finished detailing a story about a training using JIVES, which by the way I found very insightful.

"Yes?"

"Could I ask… about your House's standing as of now?"

"…My House?" Her eyelids descended slowly as snow, layers of frost tarnishing her tone. "What… would you be wanting to know, precisely?" The inner side of her brows lowered and her hands on her lap seemed to grow tense, yet she still couldn't bring herself to meet my gaze.

"I had already heard that the Kisaragi family has been suffering from some setbacks since your lord Father passed away. As fellows, I wonder if there is anything I could do to aid you, however small a gesture it could be."

"…Aiding me, huh?" She smiled, not a joyful smile but… an almost ironic, exhausted smile. "Well, my brother… my lord has been in the center of a storm as of late." She began to slowly caress her hair. I made silence and waited, for she is now wavering and choosing her words. "It seems Tokyo is pressuring us in certain areas, and many are the projects we were not selected for. Sadly for us, some of his very first endeavors as a Head have ended in lost bids and canceled projects."

"I see… However, I am sure it is merely a dry wind. Surely your lord brother already has a plan to counter these unfortunate events." She nods, closing her eyes for a moment.

"…Yes, he does. Sadly, some of our most trusted fellows were requisitioned by the Royal Guard's HQ for certain key projects, so we're lacking our best men going forward."

"…That does make these matters a tall ordeal." It is the same as the Asuka Project. While it is of utmost importance to all the Royal Guard, those of us assigned to it cannot collaborate with our houses while we're working on it. "If you ever are in need, do not hesitate to call the Amato House. I am convinced Father will extend a hand towards you all. I also know Sister thinks highly of you, so do feel free to rely on us for advice if you need it."

"Ah… Well…" Her eyes again dart to the ground, again she grasps her left wrist, curving her lower lip as if it were a hairpin. I close my eyes and look away, exhaling softly. "I am truly thankful for your deference, Masahide-san."

"Again, there is no need for such gratitude. We are fellows, it is expected we would aid each other in times of need. Do you not agree?"

"…Yes, indeed." She remained looking down, arms and tone losing traction by the second.

"I know it must be a heavy burden the one you carry, but please do not dwell on it much." She looked up, I gave her a small smile. "I can tell you're certainly tired, so please do not force yourself tonight. Your presence here today is greatly appreciated, considering your complexion, so do allow yourself to enjoy this evening at the least."

"…That I shall do. Thanks for your kind words." A small smile rose up in her, she remained looking my way as she gave a nod. She then drank from her cup, gazing at the ceiling.

I looked towards the rest of the guests, losing myself for a moment into the melody played through the speakers and the noises of idle chat that surrounded us.

As much as I do wish to aid others, prying too much will turn into meddling. I already told her of my experiences, I also already confirmed the extend of the troubles the Kisaragi are facing through her expression, and I also expressed to her my thanks for her presence here when she is so obviously exhausted. Anything else will be pushing her beyond what I should. Let's give her some space, let's see if I can at least find Maya-sama.

"Well, if you'd excuse me, there are some matters I have to attend. Again, thank you for coming to the meeting, Kaori-sama."

"No, it… it's my pleasure to be here." Despite those words, you do seem truly tired, however.

I give her a smile as I nod, standing up from my seat. Now, where should I start looking?

"Um…" Kaori-sama stood up as well as I did, but then her gaze scattered below ground once more. A slight trembling in her hands clutching her glass, her brows tensed and lowered as she rested the empty glass onto the table, her eyes squinted.

"Yes? What is it?"

Looking my way once more, she opened her mouth, then closed it along her eyes, and allowed her head to sink enough for her fringe to move downwards on its own. It is almost as if she were in pain, perhaps comparing it to being in front of Guren-sama at the dojo whenever he asked us questions about the code would be fitting. Whatever has caused her to be this tense?

"Kaori-sama, are you feeling well?" I take a step forward, offering her a hand in case she was dizzy.

"I am fine, thank you. I just…" She gulps and returns my gaze, however, while a clear stride still resides in her eyes, her head swayed as if she were a car speeding on a rainy highway, as if she couldn't make up her mind. "I wished to… thank you, for inviting us of the Kisaragi House to your welcoming, despite what our… recent endeavors have done to our standing, and for indulging me in my questions. You have my gratitude." She bowed to me, hands interlocked.

Which only makes me tense up, since she not only is older but has much more seniority in the Guard than me. She might be a low Shinpan, but still, seniority should never be ignored.

"No thanks are required, Kaori-sama. As fellow Shinpans, there is simply no possible way I would choose to not send an invitation to your family."

And in any case, Mother was the one who selected the guests beforehand so she is the one you should be thanking, not me.

I had thought that, perhaps, Kaori-sama was feeling somehow under the weather, eroded by my mention, perhaps insensitive, of these harsh times her family is facing, or that maybe she truly was exhausted and in need of rest. However… She seems fine, if still with an air of nervousness in her posture.

"I must express my gratitude, regardless. You are a high Shinpan after all, and you have been deployed to the war, unlike me." Firm as a mountain her tone as she returned my gaze. But then… A hand reached and pulled at her left wrist again, her lips twisted one of it's edges. "I also… was wanting to… compliment your choice of clothes for this night." She looked down, speaking in a whisper and almost stuttering at times.

"…Huh?"

"I… believe they suit you well. Such a strong, dignified red… is fitting on your person."

Did… Did she just…

"I… I s-see… Thanks for the, um, compliment, Kaori-sama." She looked up at me, her eyes still squinted, tense and stiff as our gazes locked onto each other, silently awaiting my words. "And… ahem… You also look most charming today. That magenta color does… complement your silhouette well." She bobbed her head as stiffly as a TSF would, her body emanating the dashing mobility of a pillar. "…Well, I shall be on my way. If you'd excuse me…"

"Oh, yes. Until next time, Masahide-san." She bowed to me, sending me off with a smile as I nodded and walked away.

Come on, in and out. Inhale, exhale… I place a hand on the base of my neck, rubbing my chest over my clothes. And now, one, two, three…

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

What in blazes was that?!

She complimented my appearance, fidgeting much. In a meeting made specifically for me. Kaori-sama is not the type to say such things usually. Does this mean that she… Please don't tell me she also wishes to court me. Sigh… Calm down, stallion. Don't get overconfident, Masahide. She was merely being kind, attentive… Yes, that has got to be it.

However, if she harbored such intentions… Why was she so tense? Why were her eyes squinting so? Embarrassment is one thing, but to be so openly stiff?

It is odd. Yet, I cannot find the strength to look back her way. For if she were still looking at me… My internal screaming would increase tenfold. Sigh… My inexperience will be the death of me one of these days.

Absentmindedly, I walked along and did small talk, never managing to lift the sudden stiffness that crashed upon my shoulders like tall waves onto the shore. After a while, Sister approached me again, this time her expression stiff, brows low, lips tightened into a line, and steps fast.

"Masahide, Mother is calling for us."

"Ah, I see. Well then, please excuse me." I gave a court bow to those around me, happy to be released from what seemed to be devolving into another inquiry about my relationships. Once we walked some steps, I spoke in a whisper. "Did you had another discussion?" She sighs as she heavily nods.

"Yes… They had me until now speaking with someone more than ten years older than me, prideful and obtuse as you could find them."

"…I see." Asking further would be foolish. "Are they also planning to introduce me to someone?"

"Not from what I gathered. They merely wish to see how you're faring. A table has been prepared for us, let's make haste."

I breath a sigh, also releasing part of the friction in me as we went to the other end of the hall, where the VIP sector is located. Behind a few screens, a sector with individuals rooms with a table each reserved for our honor guests was readied in advance. Sister took me to one such room that was reserved for my family in one of the corners of the place, possibly so that we can speak to our leisure without anyone eavesdropping. I could see Yohime-sama, and Yuuhi-sama as well, in the corner of my vision speaking with some of the older Heads under the guard by Maya-sama, who I exchanged a fleeting bow with when she saw me.

"Well, took you long enough." Mother fumed, Father giving her a side glance while raising a brow.

"My apologies, Mother." We sat down, Sister to my right and both of us facing our parents, as the attendants poured our drinks into the glasses that were already on the table. "I was on the other side of the hall when Sister came looking for me."

"Oh, I see. Has the meeting been fruitful so far?" She asked.

"Indeed, it has gone better than I had expected."

We took some moments to eat, Father asking me about what I discussed with my fellows, Mother remaining attentive while, quite bluntly might I say, giving Sister a firm and displeased glare. Sister ignored it, chiming in to ask me questions from time to time.

As we talked, I finally felt some relief wash over me. Despite Mother's temper, we finally could enjoy a dinner all together in harmony. I inhaled deeply, sending the clogging, jagged edges of shrapnel rock sliding away from my neck, finally free from it's chocking and invisible grasp.

"…My, that is indeed good to hear." Mother nodded as I finished indulging one of her questions. "By the by, Masahide, did you make use of this time to court some of the candidates we agreed on?" Oh, Mother. Why can't you allow me to relax even for a moment?

"Ahem… Many did try to inquire about the matter, however… I do not think it proper to make a move on this meeting, where privacy is hard to procure." All of them sighed in unison, Mother shaking her head, Sister bringing a hand to her forehead, and Father to his chin.

"Son, today is the day to make a bold move." He gave me a strong stare, not upset but disappointment certainly lingering in his tone. "During a meeting made for you, while the knowledge of your feats is still fresh, you ought to make a move, at least arrange a future meeting with someone of your liking. I think your fellows would… cast doubts towards you if you were to not take advantage of the opportunity."

"…Father, I believe I already made myself clear on this matter last time we discussed it."

"Masahide, dear, do not be so obstinate." Mother curved one of her brows as her tone became low. "Many came with the expectation that you would, perhaps, lay your eyes upon them. And what my dear husband says is also true, you must use your reputation to it's fullest while it's impact lasts."

"…I do not… particularly desire to court anyone I've met today, however." I said as firmly as I could muster, Father sighed and again furrowed his brows.

"Masahide, dear, I know that perhaps those Fudais were too… improper in their manners to suit your palate, but there must be at least one that has picked your interest." Smile ever present, she narrowed her eyes at me while caressing a strand of hair.

"…It's… I just…" I sigh, running a hand over my forehead and the base of my hair. "There is little point in making conversation when… all they try to do is please me, Mother."

I grab my glass and drink, feeling their stares on me.

"All this time, no matter what I said, those who were clearly here to court me were… simply agreeing, or going silent and simply nodding as if to not upset me."

It's always the same with women. Since I am of higher rank, nobody ever treats me as an equal, as a fellow. And those who could, see me as a rival to compete against.

"What is even the point of trying to court any of them if all they'll do is nod along, agreeing to every word I say? They wouldn't even let me see their true opinions, how could I form a judgment of them in this way?" It is most disheartening. I do admit I am quite clueless when it comes to romance, but I can't see myself able to even be wishing to speak with someone who isn't truly wanting to talk with me, the person behind the rank.

"Well… Sadly, it is taught to us that women must be supportive of their husbands." Sister says while looking away, clear venom in her words. "It is obvious they will simply try to appear docile to please you. Such is the art of courting, lie through your teeth if you must to gain that affirmation."

"Raiko, that is not the truth, and you know it." Father narrowed his eyes at her, but quickly subdued his combustion. "Son, all you should do is ask for their honest opinion. I believe an attentive man is something many would find appealing. Might I suggest taking someone to the central garden for a walk? That will imply that you… well, wish to have a more intimate conversation with said person, bestowing them your full attention." He said, smiling.

"Oh, my dear. As romantic as ever, I see." Mother covered her mouth as she giggled, making Father cough and slightly blush. Sister sighed, returning to eat in silence. "However, you are certainly right. Masahide, you would be well served in following this advice. There are a few high ranking Fudais here, I know they may not suit your tastes but I believe them to be worthy of your attention."

…Worthy, huh? Based on what, might I ask? Their wealth? Their influence? How could they be worthy if… they don't even know who I am, what are my tastes, or my dreams for the future? They don't even desire to have an honest conversation with me. I admit I found some of them beautiful, however their attitudes completely demolished any interest I could have on them, besides the basest ones. At that point, why even approach them and give them false hopes?

I feel a tap on my feet. Sister shook her head at me when I had started to grimace.

"Masahide…" She started slowly, bringing a hand to one of her spikes. "Perhaps you could at least use this chance to test yourself, and to see if there is someone that you could grow to favor?"

…I know that stare. You're advising me not to clash with them as you do, to make the most of this chance. I know you told me that I needed to be more steadfast, that I should start acting as a Head should… But I don't see anyone I could be with here.

"…Son, at least go and engage someone in small talk. It is a waste of an opportunity otherwise."

"I… I already said what I wished to do before."

"Masahide, dear, rise that face." Despite the soft one, an underground layer of toxins was hidden within the rumbling of Mother's words. I look up and return her gaze, and see her smile banished from her complexion. "You will not have such an auspicious day as this one soon. Therefore, it is your duty to go back to the hall and gain an affirmation, even if it is only but to exchange pleasantries in the gardens."

"However… My shyness aside, I am at a loss on what to say to someone who I… I clearly have no wish to court." Forgive me for being timid, but I am simply at a loss on what to do regarding romance. Pointless flattery and flirting are not strong points of mine.

"Son, you need not fear. All of us were in your position at one point." Father smiles my way. "Simply talking in the gardens shouldn't pose too much of a problem to you, compared to a real courting meeting."

"On this I agree." Sister said. "You should see this as a mere training, and you need not be too harsh with whoever you choose to talk. A simple negative is enough without showing any disrespect. And showing some interest in someone might be enough to begin building a bridge if you manage the talk well." She nodded, Mother agreeing with her surprisingly.

"I see what you mean…. And I do agree to an extent, however…"

"Masahide, dear, please cease this foolishness at once." Her tone now openly arid, her eyes sent yet another gale my way she she rested her hands on the table. "You shall return to the hall and take someone to the gardens, that is final. You are a Shinpan, and someone with a successful sortie to his name compared to your fellows. I haven't heard of a Shinpan being rejected or shamed by anyone, save for that unfortunate situation regarding the sister of the new Kisaragi Head, I believe."

"Huh?! Is that true, Mother?" Someone as skilled, as graceful as Kaori-sama… being rejected? I did not know of that.

Was she infatuated with a member of a Regent House, perchance? I do know of how honest and frontal she can be, so perhaps she faced the same troubles as Sister, but it still is surprising. Because she was the one who was turned down, according to the phrasing.

"Yes, it is true." Mother stroked her hair as she leaned to a side, her eyes moving upwards while she tried to remember. "I believe the details are unimportant, but it is only further proof that the Kisaragi family is continuing to lose influence, sadly. I think she had an engagement at the ready and her suitor suddenly broke it a few years ago, if I am not mistaken. Raiko, I believe that was the case?

"You are correct indeed, Mother." Sister said somberly, her body slightly leaning downwards, then sending her gaze my way. "I'll have you know she was devastated at the time. Many hurled grave unpleasantries behind her back while we were serving in the Castle."

"Is that so? That is just… cruel."

"Well, she must have made a miss to have a man of lower standing not be willing to take her hand. Perhaps she simply is unfit to take the role of a wife." Father's tone was dismissive, shaking his head.

However, before I or Sister could retort, Mother began humming. Oddly.

"Raiko…" She began slowly, a finger on her chin. "Is Kisaragi still single?"

…I don't like where this is going.

"I… I believe so? Why do you ask such, Mother?" Sister receded into her seat, inner brows lowering as she became stiff as a wall.

I do not like where this is going.

"I see." Mother made a small smile. "Dear, what do you think? Do you believe the woman to be fit to be Masahide's bride?"

I. Do. Not. Like. Where. This. Is. Going. At all.

"Hmm… I wonder. Raiko, did she come to the meeting?"

"Indeed she did." Sister exhaled through her nose, shifting in her seat. "I believe Kaori-san made an effort to be at her best tonight."

"Truly?" She was most tired, however.

"Yes. She was wearing her magenta kimono, wasn't she Masahide?"

"Indeed. It truly looked to be a good piece, a certainly beautiful kimono."

"I'll have you know that is Kaori-san's most favorite piece of clothing." Sister said, folding her arms and giving me a serious look. Her tone change didn't go over me… But…

"I see…" How do I even react to this? I believe she was merely being attentive back then.

"Ahem…" Mother and Father were smiling, sending shivers down my spine. "Masahide, dear, I suppose you had the chance to share a conversation with Kisaragi?"

"Yes… We spoke of my experiences back in India, mostly."

"And what did you think of her, son?"

"W-Well… She seemed to be rather exhausted tonight." Father narrows his eyes at me, light embers in them.

"Son, do not be thinking of deflecting the question. What did you think of your talk with her?"

"It was pleasant, truth be told, compared to our previous interactions."

"Raiko, dear, I believe Kisaragi must have had a good reason to wear her favorite kimono for this occasion, would you not agree?" Sister closed her eyes and nodded.

"Indeed, I do think so. Masahide, by the by, what did you speak about when you two were alone?"

Sister, you traitor! Why in blazes did you mention that at this very moment?! And don't give me that ensnared rabbit face!

"So, my dear Masahide, you had a talk in private with Kisaragi, did you?" Mother, do not pair such a wide smile with a glacial tone as you just did.

I furrow my brows as I look at Sister, who rises a single brow at me. I recalled the last words we crossed, and the slight delay in my answer made Mother smile.

"Hehe… So, whatever happened?"

"Oh…" Sister said, eyes wide as she brought a hand near her mouth. "Mother, are you suggesting that… Kaori-san has come to the meeting with intentions to court Masahide?" The widened eyes showed me she truly was taken aback by the realization.

"Well… What do you think, Masahide, dear?" Mother smiled, a hand on her cheek.

I look down, not wishing to answer. Sister coughs, then looks at me with a completely serious expression, eyes sharp and tone low.

"Masahide, if what Mother is implying is true, then you cannot let this chance pass you by."

"What… are you saying? I thought you…"

"Look, Kaori-san was…" Her eyes wander upwards, curving as do her lips, a rather weary tone instilled in her voice. "She began to focus more and more on her duties after the whole affair, despite how many men tried to… well, to be frank, take advantage of the 'ill reputation' that she was branded with after being rejected." Fuming a bit, as Mother did in sympathy, she looked my way back to her usual tone. "I thought she was merely trying to look her best tonight to deflect any possible comments about her position, however if she said or did anything to imply she wished you to court her… Well, I believe she wouldn't do such a thing after what happened without good reason."

"So, my dear Masahide, what exactly happened?" This time speaking with more impulse, Mother kept smiling.

I sigh and resign myself to telling them of what we spoke, in broad strokes.

"…I still believe it to be nothing more than a show of courteousness on her part."

"…Masahide, I know you're shy, but this is clear as dawn." Sister frowned at me. "I believe it to be a good chance for both of you. You could receive the affirmation of a fellow Shinpan, who I assure you is very skilled, and you could also aid the Kisaragi House by dispelling that fog that has been hanging around Kaori-san for so long. I believe you won't find a better partner than her in these times." She says with clear cheer rumbling in her words, I slightly bite down my tongue within.

"Raiko is certainly right." Mother nodded, making Sister smile. "I believe this matter has been settled. Dear, what is your opinion?" Father grumbled for a second before answering.

"While I would normally suggest you to court her, it could lead to a troublesome situation. Her reputation could follow Masahide. Choosing the reject of another… While marrying a Shinpan is a tantalizing opportunity, she has been tainted by that controversy."

"Father, I do not believe Kaori-san deserves such words." Sister said gravelly, narrowing her eyes. "Regardless of this matter, treating such a hardworking fellow in this way isn't fair."

"Indeed, dear Raiko. I do acknowledge that involving us in such a controversy is unnecessary, however she herself made a move. I believe she deserves an answer. Do you not agree, Masahide?"

"Well… We might be making an erroneous assumption as of now."

"Then, simply take her to the gardens and ask her there." Father said, nodding once. "However, I do conceded that gaining the favor of the Kisaragi House could be a good stepping stone for you to regain the influence the Tsukuyomi have taken from us." Father said, without any palpable apprehension.

Mother and Sister seemed to agree, if only because they didn't react in any negative form openly. Which made my stomach turn again.

"If I am not mistaken, they were frantically trying to cover the whole affair a few years ago, yet they still cannot find a suitor for her after that debacle. Am I right, Raiko, dear?"

"Yes, that was the case Mother. Kaori-san was very distressed during those days, and still is to an extent."

"When exactly did this happen? I don't recall hearing of it before departing for India."

"Hmm… I believe that it was in the '89. You were already in the training bunks, so you didn't see how she was when it happened."

I see… When I saw her in one last meeting before we left she was even colder than before. So that explains it. Father chuckled after drinking a bit, resting a hand over the table.

"I see… This is a most favorable situation, then." Father remained with his closed eyes briefly as he smiled. "Perhaps we could seize this opportunity to sway the young one to become part of our house easily."

"Father, they're our fellows. I believe it is against our teachings to speak in such manner of them. I believe I told you… what I wish my wife to be for me." He lowered his brows, sighing and going for his glass to drink.

"Masahide, dear, do you not find Kisaragi appealing?" Mother asked, staring into my eyes.

"…That is not the point. Why are you even considering 'swaying' Kaori-sama? She isn't some piece on a board." Sister's brows tensed as I asked the query.

"Well, to gain influence over the Kisaragi House, as I said before."

"…Father, why would you wish to do such a thing? You have always taught me that attaining honor and victory with mine own efforts, overcoming my inner turmoil and shortcomings, was what mattered most."

"And it is precisely that what I am advocating, son."

"…Eh?"

"You see, Masahide…" Father leaned forward, resting an elbow on the table. "It is only natural for us to focus our sights on higher honor, on the progress that we can bring about. Do you not agree?"

"Yes, that is true." The success and well-being of my family is my priority, after all. However, there is no reason to instigate hostilities within our ranks. The Kisaragi are not our competitors in any of our endeavors, as far as I recall.

"Good." Father and Mother smiled, Sister merely nodded slowly. "So, what is the core, most important quality a person must nurture, son?"

"…The ability to seize opportunities?" He smiles, nodding.

"Precisely. Talent by it's lonesome cannot create auspicious times. Therefore, it is of crucial importance that you learn to make the most out of the cards you are dealt. And to learn to capitalize on the others' hands as well." He smirked, his hand now reaching for his chin as I felt a shiver envelop me whole. "As the future Head of this house, you have to learn to benefit from the openings the rest of the nobility will give you to strike deep."

"Strike? Father, I do not wish to further the hostilities within the Royal Guard. I believe I made myself clear these last days."

"Masahide, it is the other way around." Sister sourly said, caressing one of her spikes. "By marrying Kaori-san you will be able to reach your goal with much ease. It is of utmost importance for you to build bridges with other influential families, after all." For once, Father nodded to her words with a wide smile in his face.

"It is such a shame that you do not practice your own words, my daughter."

"Father, this is not the time." They held each the other's stare for a moment, Mother sighing as I was lost to my inner storms.

"…Why?"

"Huh?" Sister stared at me, tilting her head.

"What would this do for us? To try to meddle in the Kisaragi's affairs? I thought you did not wish to make others submit in such way, Sister." I frowned, Sister was left speechless, lips trembling.

"Allow me to explain this to you." Mother said, softly caressing Father's forearm as he tried to speak up. "Masahide, as you must know already, the Empire is divided in two halves."

"Yes, those who support our old ways and those who prefer the American Way."

"Well, that is true. But it was not what I was referring to."

"Is that so?" Mother nodded, leaning back onto her seat and regaining her smile.

"Yes. There are many who are not in either side of said struggle, and in fact it is likely to be nothing but the suffocation of the micro-climate we're part of as nobles, exacerbated by the media to fill their timetables. What I was speaking of is about the Shogunate and the Diet. That is the rift that you should beware."

"…The Diet?" Please tell me you are not about to say what I think you will. You cannot be possibly wanting to clash with the Parliament and the IJA. Not this again, I already had enough just reading the Asuka Project's reports.

"Indeed. Not the organization itself, but what it could become and who could manipulate it's members. With every law, His Highness losses more and more influence. More and more Ministries are becoming detached from his orders, more and more members of the parliament are becoming… too easy to sway in these last years. It wouldn't be too far-fetched to think that the Diet could become America's hammer to our traditions if the road forward doesn't shift."

"I do not believe our current situation is dire enough to warrant such paranoia, Mother. We cannot spark a conflict."

"…Masahide, if I am not mistaken, it is a clear possibility that India will fall soon enough. Correct?" Father said, slowly but firmly.

"…Well, it is a possibility."

"Then, the BETA will certainly start moving east. They might reach our shores. America has meddled in all the war efforts as of late, so we must forge a strong opposition for when they decidedly try to use the UN to force us to completely surrender to them."

"…Look, Father…" I sigh, again feeling a mountain on my shoulders and the taste of rusted iron on my lips. "I concede that some of them won't falter in taking certain inconsiderate actions towards us of the Royal Guard. However, we cannot return the aggression. We would only be playing into their hands by fostering this infighting. We must find a way to navigate these currents without risking our standing nor generating sparks that could be taken advantage of." I narrowed my eyes, filling my voice with that same rusted, jagged steel that once took sleep away from me.

And then… He smiled, as if proud.

"Precisely, my dear." Mother then smiled widely, sunflowers blooming in her tone. Father nodded silently, while Sister sighed deeply and grabbed her glass to finish her drink.

"…Huh? Mother, Father, were you not… Why did you say such words with that intensity if you agree with me?"

"Son, it's because of what must be done, of the proper way to fight them off." Father folded his arms again. "So far, we have had no choice but to rely on the US' support to thrive and maintain ourselves afloat. As much as we might dislike it their aid was necessary for us and our people, yet they haven't eased up on their advances upon our traditions and sovereignty, leaving their troops forever stationed in our soil as a warning sign. But this state of affairs will soon be no more, Masahide. If we grow powerful enough to fend off the BETA, something even America isn't able to pull off, we will prove to the world, and to our population, that we can stand on our own without fears. Then, using our might to gain the favor of a sector of the UN that does not go along the whims of the Americans, we will be able to finally rid ourselves of their influence, without needing to shoot a single bullet within our borders. At the least not in the open."

Jumping to conclusions… Bracing for a fight that might not come… It is no wonder many are growing so hateful towards foreigners. I do concede some matters are aligning too well to be a coincidence, but still, do we truly need to go to such lengths?

"…Does Yohime-sama agree with this?"

"She should, as it is what Saionji-sama desires to do to avoid confronting the Diet." He folded his arms as he gave me a strong, unfaltering look. "You, as the next heir, should know of this so that you can properly make the better choices available to you. The same goes for you Raiko, since I expect you to do what's best for the house's future."

"Yes, I know it very well, Father." She pursed her lips and folded her arms, returning the tensed inner brows and combusting eyes his way.

"Ahem…" Mother entwined her fingers and leaned forward, again sending a strong gale towards me. "And it is because of this plan, this need we have to empower the Royal Guard and our faction, that perhaps we should have you marry Kisaragi, Masahide. By uniting as many of our fellows under our influence, we can be sure to not only successfully reach a day where this ideal can be put into practice, but we will also be sure to gain much influence and honors after it."

"However, the manner in which you spoke of them… First, we do not yet know if such preparations are truly required." They slightly lowered their brows at my words, Sister simply looked away. "And second, Kaori-sama is one of us, the Kisaragi are part of our own faction, are they not? There is no need for us to meddle in their matters." I narrow my brows, Mother smiles again.

"Then let me pose a question to you, young man. What if the young woman is courted by someone influential working for another Regent House? That could make the Kisaragi, who are already the lowest standing Shinpan House in service of the Koubuins, to start serving another master. We cannot allow that to happen." Mother's voice regained it's edge, her eyes narrowed as I did before making me recoil back into my seat.

Father and Sister nodded, her slower than him. So now you're preemptively accusing others of betraying us? What is this madness?

"I do agree with Mother in this." Sister's voice again grew weary. "It would spell certain trouble to have Kaori-san marry someone that… had differing views from ours. It isn't odd for some houses to begin serving another Regent after one of those in the succession branch marries an influential individual of a rival faction."

"…This is against the honor code's teachings. While it is true families have tended to shift in the hierarchy in the last decades, such level of plotting must not be embraced."

"Masahide, this is no plotting." Sister sent a bothered gaze my way. Why… Why are you agreeing to this? I thought… you were different. "Sadly, that is the goal of many marriages, to gain the favor of certain houses or to keep them in the fellowship. And that is why we're all suggesting you to take Kaori-san as your wife."

"Weren't you against forcing others to go against their wishes?" She winces for a moment.

"…If she herself said such compliments, it means she is at least interested in having you as her partner. If that is her wish, I see no wrong in you answering to her advances."

"Masahide, dear, this is just as Raiko says." Mother chimed in. "She was the one who said such compliments, nobody forced her hand. And if you do marry her, you can ensure the Kisaragi remain loyal to Yohime-sama and influence them to suit your goals, aid them in their woes. Surely you have some sort of objective after having returned from the frontlines, dear Masahide?"

"It's true that I do. However, going by what you've said, Kaori-sama might be in the same position as Sister, only without any tangible support." Sister's right hand twitched and she looked away, brows low and tensed. "It would only worsen our relations with them if I only married her to force them into submission."

"You will not be forcing them." Mother replied with a small smile. "You will simply make her fall to your charms, and use her as a gateway into the Kisaragi household." Forcing… Using… In the end, it's the same. This isn't how… Not like this. "I believe they would welcome the aid in quelling these adversities that have plagued them for so long, and they will surely return the trust you place in them, wishing to prove their loyalty to the one who saw them worthy enough to bestow a helping hand upon."

It is true I wish to gain influence, to be heard by my peers. However, my fellow is not a 'stepping stone'. My fellows shouldn't be pawns to influence and bend at my convenience.

"Mother, this is unproper for a noble. What will it say about us if we only see our fellows as pawns? Such shameless behavior…"

"Son, while it might clash with the explicit words of the code, this is no 'shameless behavior'. All marriages are in one way a power struggle, with one family's interests influencing the union. It isn't odd in the slightest for parents of low standing houses to make a proposition that would aid their family, even if…" He looks at Sister, who narrows her eyes at him. "…the daughter doesn't favor her would-be husband."

"However, you're all speaking of using her as a pawn to bend her family to our convenience. I believe I already made myself clear on how I wish my wife to be treated, Father, Mother." I slowly move my gaze between the two, Father sighs yet again, Mother looks down as she plays with her hair, seemingly lost in thought.

"…Masahide, please be more sensitive." Sister scolded me, folding her arms tightly this time. "While I do agree in the respect you show to a woman of a fellow Shinpan House… Do you truly think Kaori-san would have said such words carelessly on such an occasion? After what she went through these years?"

"However… She not only was very stiff, but she was somehow… uncomfortable. I do not think she was making a proposition of any sort. You saw how she was being, did you not?" Sister ponders my words, a hand on her chin. Reluctantly, she gives a faint nod.

"…She was rather tired, it's true. I still think you should simply try to have a talk with her, at the least."

"Precisely, dear Raiko. If she seems to be hesitating, what is stopping you from being the one who makes the proposition, Masahide?"

"…I just do not see how we could create unity in this way." I look at them, Sister looks away uncomfortably, while my parents return my gaze squarely, but not fiercely.

"It is simple, my dear Masahide. Using this chance to your advantage, you can attain a loyal wife, you will gain the favor of the Kisaragi family, and most importantly, it will be a good first step for you to ascertain your view onto your subjects. Having a fellow Shinpan as your partner, your image will benefit much from this engagement. Few are the ones in the nobility that can boast of such a union in these times."

I couldn't restrain a frown from forming, Father coughed and leaned back onto his seat before speaking up.

"Of course, if you bestow kindness to Kisaragi, while supporting her to reach success in her personal projects, she will surely only become more devoted to you. Perhaps even more loyal towards our house than to her family." He smiles again, I am forced to swallow an acid whiff, making my stomach turn again.

"Their wellbeing is also of utmost concern to us." Mother continued. Sister slowly nods to this, sending a troubled gaze my way, her lips curving inwards. "We cannot allow the Kisaragi House to suffer further indignities, but there isn't much we can do as merely fellows. I have not heard good words about the current Head's performance, which is why the younger Kisaragi has been working much to aid her brother from her position, I suppose."

"I can confirm that." Sister said. "Kaori-san has been making an earnest effort to excel in her duties on the Castle, despite of the setbacks we suffer." Mother sighs, I frown and, to my surprise, see Father sharing the gesture.

"So Masahide," Mother continues. "…as I was saying, by giving us a direct link to the Kisaragi family, an even deeper connection than what we have now as mere fellows, you would be allowing us to aid them directly in their efforts. Perhaps… suggesting to them that it would be in their best interests to join our network instead of risking to fall in the hierarchy."

"That is meddling in their internal affairs, Mother!"

"No, it is safeguarding our own interests. You would be protecting your fellows, increasing your own power, and bringing further honors to the house. We, as servants of the Koubuin House, cannot allow the Kisaragi House to lose it's Shinpan standing. However, there is very little we, or our Lady for that matter, can do without diminishing the current Head's authority. Therefore, I think the best solution is having you marry his sister and taking actions on your own hands to ensure such a scenario doesn't come to pass."

"Even so, in the end we would be diminishing their authority anyways. There is no point in-"

"Masahide…" Sister touched my arm, her brows again tilting downwards. "It would be different if a brother-in-law bestowed them a helping hand, in the form of a loan, specialized personnel, or by recommending a certain course of action. Therefore-"

"…The only way to aid them is for me to manipulate them into submission? Is that what you're proposing, Sister? Why don't you marry Kaori-sama's brother if this is of such importance?" Unable to restrain my tongue, the venom lashed out as my sword did back in the battlefield.

Sister looked down, most positively shaken and tense. She couldn't bring herself to speak or even nod, her gaze drifting away from mine. Mother, however, smiled as she caressed the hair cascading to a side.

"That is perhaps a too hostile word, my dear. Guiding them would be the most proper term. However, that is not the core of this matter."

"Then, what is the 'core'? What could compel you to do such a thing to a fellow? To reduce the Kisaragi family, a fellow Shinpan house, to being mere vassals of us, how is this not setting an awful precedent?" I spat our rapidly as if I were shooting suppression fire, Mother and Father remained composed however.

"Son, it is from such opportunities that power is conceived." Father slowly started, a hand on his chin. "That is why, before others take it from you, you should seize this chance and use it to increase your own influence for the years to come. That is what we're suggesting you to do. Because I assure you, others wouldn't be hesitating in this way if the chance to sway a house as the Kisaragi under their influence presented itself to them." Mother nodded with a hum as she went for her glass once more, I looked at Sister and she nodded, eyes closed tightly, slightly biting an edge of her lower lip.

"…Are our internal struggles so… violent, so ungraceful? To strike at her, when she must be suffering from all the pressure, all to bend her to my will as if she were nothing but a pawn?" Sister again twitched at my words, a hand of her slightly shaking as she tensed it onto a fist. "Is this how we nobles have operated all this time?"

"As a noble, many people are already bending to your designs, whether you do so willingly or not, Masahide."

"Father, I do not agree. My fellows are exactly that, my comrades. They're not 'servants' who obey my will."

"However, all the members of our House will continue to serve you and act on what you tell them to do, on what they believe will bring the best results for our family. Am I wrong?"

"No, but-"

"Then, it is your responsibility as a leader, as a member of the high nobility, to create auspicious times for those who dedicate their life's work to you. If you truly value your fellows, what is stopping you from doing what's most beneficial for your family?"

"H-However… It is one thing to safeguard those under me, and another to make ploys to force another family to bow down to us. If we value the Kisaragi family, why not allow them the chance to triumph on their own?"

"Because, as was said before, we cannot lose the Kisaragi family." Father folds his arms, this time igniting a combustion on his eyes once more. "Regardless of whether they fall in the hierarchy, what would happen if the woman is courted by someone who wishes to take them to serve another Regent?"

"…So I should 'strike' before others do, to avoid that possible scenario?"

"Indeed. The Kisaragi are weakened and they must be surely looking for a good husband for the woman, to bring new winds to the House and gain new partners in their endeavors. I am sure they will be… truly grateful to whoever that someone is. For all we know, Kisaragi could be being convinced to marry someone else at this very moment, while you are hesitating." He frowns, I return the gesture.

…Pouncing on her, preying upon a fellow in their hour of need… This isn't what we should do. However, if she truly married someone from outside our fellowship, we may lose her services, and it wouldn't be rare for her brother to also be 'swayed' by her husband if the man did try to have them on his side of the board. If her whole family took the conservatives' side, and brought that vision into the Koubuin fellowship… Our unity might crumble, many might choose to cut their ties to us or… or force Yohime-sama to take the conservatives' side to not be left trapped in a vacuum.

…No, if they manage to bring power to her… Yohime-sama might openly start to agree with said vision in her quest for further honors to fulfill this desire Takahisa-sama left in her hands.

And if she gives her approval so that other heirs and relatives start to mingle with people who share those views… No one will ever listen to me, no one will ever try to mend their ways. The Koubuin fellowship will end up filled with people like how those back in India were.

In a way, Father is right. Choosing who marries the next generation will weave a thread of power. And I know those with more… intense ideals will stop at nothing to achieve their desired result. But, do I wish to… to do the same myself?

"Masahide…" Sister speaks up, barely lifting her gaze. "Kaori-san has been… afflicted by all that was said of her behind her back. I fear she might easily accept the proposition if an influential enough man approached her."

"So… You, too, are telling me to… to… treat one of your fellows as nothing but a step in a ladder?"

"No, I am merely saying you should consider marrying her. She openly complimented you today, she clearly made an effort to be in her best appearance for this night, so you could simply try to clarify her intentions. Wouldn't you like the Kisaragis to be on your side?"

"I… suppose… But not in this way. I want the choice to be mine, I already told you all that!" I close my eyes, clawing at one of my palms.

"…I do know that." Sister said in but a whisper. "However, why can't you simply go and talk to her? If she wishes to be yours, do you have any reason to refuse her? Do you dislike Kaori-san?"

"…No, I do not. We haven't interacted much, after all." A small tinge of pain reaches my gut.

"Then, is she not fitting to your tastes, dear?" Mother interjected, a finger on her chin.

"I'll admit I… do find her beautiful, to be honest." I look away, furrowing my brows. "However, that's not the issue here."

"Is she perhaps not fitting to be a lady of the Amato House in your opinion, then?"

"I do know she is very talented, from what I heard from Sister, but… Sigh… How could she wish to be with me when she doesn't know who I am?" It feels as if I had a rock slide tumbling down my chest from within.

"…That is what the courting meetings are for." Sister said as Mother sighed, turning her lips into a small circle and almost closing her eyes. "And the choice in the end will be yours." Sister leans onto the table to look at me in the eye. "If you do find her worthy, why reason do you have to refuse her?"

"Son, is it all about you disagreeing with the semantics of this arrangement?"

"It's not only the words, but the intentions behind them." I frown again, doing an earnest effort to quell the vile from surging outwards once more. "I wish to foster unity, I don't want to prey upon a fellow in this way."

"Is it really preying if she's the one making the first move?" Sister asked, my gaze sank, exploring the closed-off rim of my palms. "If you wish others to listen to you, you must be able to be someone they wish to follow. Even if it isn't Kaori-san, what would you do if someone approaches you with a proposition for a courting meeting? The choice would still be yours, but you cannot simply let such chances simply pass you by forever."

"But this isn't how… I wish to proceed." Why won't you understand? I thought you… were on my side.

"Sometimes, you won't get the chance to decide the 'how'." She narrowed her eyes bitterly.

Oh… She… never had the choice of who to marry in her own hands. Wait… If that hypothetical scenario comes to pass, where Yohime-sama is swayed to the conservatives' side… Sister might also be made to marry someone who follows the old ways. I… I don't want that for her, however…

"In the end, the choice is still yours. And I am convinced you will not treat Kaori-san harshly if our suppositions are indeed correct." She subtly regained some of her usual joyful tone, somehow making a small smile my way. "If you truly value the Kisaragis as fellows, you can simply give them advice, stand by them. Your mere presence and support would do much for the negotiations they will surely have to face, I assure you." Father nodded with a smile. "And furthermore, I do believe her to be a very good partner for you since her forward attitude complements your more pacifist way of being."

"Masahide, dear, listen to Raiko's words. You can still treat Kisaragi and her family with kindness even if you wish to gain the favor of her House." Mother entwined her fingers over her chest, smiling. "They will be more than grateful for your gesture, and you could then intervene, if they wish you to, in their internal affairs, excusing yourself by saying you're offering a hand to your wife's brother. This will bring many benefits to our faction if the Kisaragi manage to improve their situation, perhaps also pleasing our Lady in our quest for further honors."

I do wish to gain recognition. I do wish to protect my house and aid Yohime-sama, to avoid her from falling into that same view those in India had. I know I will need allies, powerful ones, to quell the opposition I'll have to face.

My stomach turns, I feel cold sweat slowly trickling down my back at the same time that an acid whiff crawler up my throat. I coil my hands as the vice grip does to my heart at the thought of actually doing what I'm being suggested to.

It's know it's true, I would gain much from having the Kisaragi family under my thumb. Making them join our network would immediately quell any claims about my abilities as a leader, I could silence my cousins if they still wanted to oppose my views. And I could have Kaori-san by my side working for me, an experienced Royal Guard that graduated with high scores, coming from a Shinpan house, who gives our family a direct link to another house within our fellowship, that I could then also influence to work for me. One half of the Koubuin fellowship under my thumb, and going by her attitude, I could perhaps convince Maya-sama to aid me in my desire to foster unity considering her change. Three quarters it would be then, and just by 'playing smartly'.

All of that power, all it takes is me managing to make Kaori-sama give me an affirmation, and then negotiating with Maya-sama for support. It's not like I don't see the boons that would bring us, and I do find her charming… I just believe this to be cruel. I want my wife to love me, and I don't know if… she would under these circumstances. If she sees our union as just a business… And as tempting as entertaining the thought of dominating someone in such a way, of having someone wish to be mine and swear loyalty to me, I don't see her submitting herself to me in such a way. I can't see her wishing for me to be her husband in such an arrangement.

"I… I just…" I relax my shoulders, or try to at the least, while letting the air I held hostage go. "I cannot see Kaori-sama, or anyone to be honest, genuflecting to me in such a way. And I… don't know if I have it in me to do such a thing."

"Son?" I look up and see Father giving me a firm, direct stare. He breathed in, and slowly let the air go. "I never forced your Mother nor her family to genuflect to the Amato House."

"Huh?"

"I always treated her with respect, even when we still were courting each other. Only after I earned her father's respect as a man, once he saw I was a good leader, he placed his house under my direct protection." Mother smiles, slowly leaning onto his arm. He smiles as their gazes connect. "You do not need to 'manipulate them into submission', you can remain as you are and aid them earnestly. Such is the role you have to play, being the next Head of this family. Many are the houses that will seek your aid and sponsorship, both directly or as a backer when presenting projects to Yohime-sama, so you should begin to think on what you'll do when that time comes. They will have to reward you for your support, son."

Mother wasn't in such a precarious standing when you two met, however. This… I gulp, then let out a sigh. You did wish to be with Mother, and she did earnestly favor you. But, how could Kaori-sama have chosen me when we barely have spoken with each other? How could I possibly make her happy if she doesn't even wish to be with the person behind the rank?

"This is a prime chance you cannot ignore, Masahide." Mother said. "The Kisaragi are weakened, the sister of the Head has complimented you on the meeting that celebrates your return. Go look for her, and gain her affirmation to start formally courting her. You surely would not prefer to have her marry someone who opposes you, and then have the Kisaragi House turning against us?"

"…I do not wish to see that happen, it's true." I then remain silent, a hand on my forehead as I ponder what should I do.

"Masahide, dear, it is surprising this hasn't been exploited yet." Mother continued slowly, giving me a side glance while almost closing her eyes. "However, people will assuredly notice Kisaragi's behavior today. They will see her willing to court someone, willing to receive proposals, and they will act on it. You have been given this chance, do not let it go to waste."

I breathe in through clenched teeth, avoiding their gazes. I know that… How many times are you going to repeat that? But… Regardless of my own feelings, how would Kaori-sama feel when she realizes I only married her to use her to influence her lord brother? How… could we love each other in this arrangement?

"Masahide…" Sister tapped my shoulder. "You must not hesitate. If you cannot even bring yourself to talk with Kaori-san, whatever will you do when faced with more serious matters? How do you plan to create unity if you so easily falter?"

"It's not only about me being timid or inexperienced. What's the point if she chooses me only because of my station? Then, she wouldn't be choosing me or the Amato House, she only would be using us, seeing this as merely another business." Mother nodded, a brow tensing downwards in image of how she was when I asked about the burned letters. Father sighed and shook his head.

"…I do not think you should be worrying about that." Sister answered, caressing one of her spikes.

"Why do you say so?"

"Well, there are many Shinpan and high Fudai heirs that are single in this meeting. Yet, Kaori-san chose you to say such words. Isn't that proof enough that she wishes you to be her lord? What will you do if she asks you for a meeting?"

"…Frankly, I don't know."

It's not about desiring power or not. It is tempting all that I could gain, so if Kaori-sama offered herself to me I would only have my selfish excuses left. And I don't know how would I react in such a case since, well…

I look down, unable to focus my thoughts. I know I'm being selfish here. I know I may not get the chance to approach a fellow Shinpan again, and if I do manage to maker her accept me… She would be mine… Having such a talented, beautiful woman by my side… And she would have to listen to what I tell her to do, as well as her family…

N-No, what am I thinking?! This isn't what I want, this isn't how I wish to be heard. …Then, how do I find another chance as this one? How do I know… if I'll ever find somebody to love? It's true that my words have been ineffective so far… Am I in the wrong then? Should I truly be more imposing? A twister spawns in my stomach, both sides continually clashing within.

"Ahem…" I looked over at Sister, whose eyes were calm and tone became again slow. "Kaori-san complimented you openly, didn't she?"

"…Yes."

"Then, considering her situation, it's clear what she was trying to say. As our next lord and the man you should be, you are obliged to answer to her words even if it is to refuse her." She gave me a strong, piercing stare as Mother and Father nodded in agreement. "Do you not wish to gain power to make others listen to your words?" I weakly nod, looking down. "Then, do what a Head should. Go to Kaori-san and have an open talk as fellows, and confirm for yourself whether she wishes to be yours. Considering what she said to you, I am sure she must be waiting for you to approach her."

"…I suppose I could at least confirm whether you are right or not." Not even speaking with her again might, well, be taken as me being not even willing to give her an answer.

Who knows how Kaori-sama, or her detractors, will take that? Sister is right, at the least I could… see if there was more to those words, if only to return the effort she made to pronounce them. And… I can't continue to mull over this internally forever.

But whatever do I do if she does say all these assumptions are indeed true?

"And if we are indeed correct, make sure to not falter, son." Father smiled at me. "Go and make your future wife accept an invitation to our house. I believe next weekend was free, Dear?"

"Indeed it is. I am looking forward to share a cup of tea with her. Best of luck, Masahide."

Sigh… I slowly stand up, giving my parents the shortest bow I've ever given them, and walk out from the VIP area. Soon after, I'm back at the hall, moving in between the people who are now busy eating, others dancing to the melody being played on the speakers.

…Do I truly have to… prey upon Kaori-sama in such a way, then? However, if she or any other truly wished to become mine… Do I have it in me to refuse that? Having someone completely devoted to my wellbeing… I feel my heartbeat in my chest, becoming aware of my breathing suddenly. I'd be lying if I said wielding such power over someone wasn't tempting me. I would be lying if I said I haven't had such thoughts, of how it would be to have someone all for myself.

But… is this the only way forward? If I lose this chance, I might never gain a partner others would respect, not to speak of losing the chance to gain influence in our fellowship by helping the Kisaragi.

However, that would make me the same as those who I want to oppose. I do not wish to prey onto my fellows in this way. And yet, it is true others wouldn't hesitate to do so.

If someone has to have the power… better me than another? Is this how it is? Without power, recognition and influence, I cannot do a thing. I can't protect anything, no one would listen to me. Yet… I clench my fists, softly biting my tongue.

Is there really… no other way available? Even if it isn't Kaori-sama, do I have to place myself above others to gain their respect? Is there really… no place for love in my life? If I gave her my support… Could someone who chooses me for my rank grow to appreciate me? Or, is it all just business in the end?

My mind still not made up, I walk into the hall letting a sigh out.