Sorry, it takes me so long to update. I try to pick up the speed, but I guess it will be up and down in frequency.

I hope that some of you are still enjoying reading it and that I don't bore you. I know it's a long story. I guess I should try to wrap it up soon because sometimes it feels like my chapters are a bit of a repeat.

So feel free to read or just skip. Definitely, thanks for stopping by and for every review that's been posted. I appreciate it very much.


Chapter XLIII

The setting around them was hectic yet soothing in a strange way. Everyone was happy that they had made it out of the burning inferno alive. Matt tried to concentrate and get an overview. Still a bit blurry from all the smoke, his sight was able to recognize Mouch and Otis with Cordova, Capp, and Tony. The Engine people were already busy putting out the fire, and Herrmann and Boden were still nearby, trying to regain their strength as well.

Casey finally had the guts to look for the boy, but he couldn't find him nor his mother. Apparently, they were taken to the hospital while he was still back in the building, which made sense since the boy hadn't been in great shape after all.

Suddenly a thought made his heart beat faster, and his stomach cramped. His eyes wandered hectically across the different faces until he finally got stuck on that of his Chief.

"Severide," he managed to ask with a husky voice?

"Chicago Med," Boden returned. "Kidd and Brett took him there on my order."

Casey began to worry, "he looked good. Said he was fine."

His communication was kept short. He tried to spare his vocal cords. The smoke had affected him more than he would have liked.

"Probably just a concussion," Cruz tried to calm him. "He's got a hard head."

"Yeah, Casey. Don't worry," Herrmann agreed with Joe. "The guy's gonna annoy you again in no time."

Casey swallowed hard. He wanted to rush to the hospital or call Kelly immediately, but to be fair, his body was trembling terribly, and each breath he took felt like sandpaper getting stuffed down his throat. As if his body was trying to prove a point, he was shaken with another wave of cough; he simply couldn't manage to repress.

Boden, who seemed to notice his struggle, once again took control over the situation and began guiding Matt and the others away from the building to truck 81. All four fireman had earned their break, and it was time to start to relax.

Casey was seated on the rear end of the vehicle, still trying to catch his breath. No one dared to say a word. The only sound that could be heard was their ragged breath sounds and occasional coughs that followed such a rescue.

The tension remained high between them. All of them tried to comprehend what went down just minutes before.

Boden had difficulty accepting that his men disobeyed his orders, but he refused to get into it right now. The long-established firefighter knew when it was better to keep to himself. And besides, despite being a Chief, he wasn't immune to the usual adrenaline crash that followed such an intensive rescue. The last few minutes left him feeling drained and agitated at the same time. It was that kind of a rush to his system that he never fully could get used to.

Wallace took another sip of his water and studied the scene. His firefighters all looked exhausted, and some were still fighting the flames.

A second battalion had arrived minutes after Boden, and the others were out of danger and had already started with overhaul.

Herrmann did the same thing as his Chief did and watched the action. He was grateful for how the tense situation had developed. It hadn't been a simple rescue and could've easily ended in a disaster.

Both men shared a brief look. Christopher saw his own emotions reflected in the expression on his friend's face. His nervous energy finally made him utter a sigh, followed by a hearty, "damn! That was a close one!"

Cruz raised his head and clapped the other on the shoulder, "Amen, to that. But we made it. The kid's safe."

"The kid got lucky," replied Christopher. "He can count himself blessed that Casey heard him, otherwise ..."

The experienced fireman didn't want to finish the sentence. As the father of his own gang of five, he couldn't pay too much attention to such thoughts. The fear of loss and grief was too great. They saw it too often through the profession they did.

When Casey heard his name, he looked up briefly and straight into his lieutenant's face. He wasn't sure if Herrmann displayed understanding for his previous behavior or if the man felt sheer relief that a child had survived. Because he couldn't make out which one it was, he said nothing and looked back down again. To distract himself from his own thoughts, he began to concentrate on his hands. The bandage on his injured hand hadn't had been protected from the soot and dirt despite gloves. Only in a few places did the white stand out. The edges were slightly rolled up, and it was damp from sweat and the water he used as a refresher only minutes before. Casey knew he would have to deal with it later.

Before Matt could think about whether his hand hurt, he heard Herrmann talking.

"You did good, Captain. Exceptional save."

Upon hearing that, Matt was able to feel some kind of comfort. He admired Herrmann for being that kind of a man.

It looked like his Lieutenant was a decent guy who knew when times called for punishment or reconciliation.

Cruz agreed with his colleague, "For once, you're right, Herrmann! That was crazy, man!" Then he nudged Casey's foot with his own, "I thought that was it! You can't get out of there. I don't know how you did it?"

Casey tried not to react to that. He didn't want to be in the spotlight right now. But Joe carried on and said something that couldn't be ignored: "Seriously, I saw myself at your funeral."

"Yes, except our coffins would have been next to his," Herrmann grumbled. Maybe the Lieutenant wasn't so pleased with his Captain's actions after all.

Casey was mortified overhearing this. But he couldn't muster the strength to own up to the craziness that had possessed him down there. So, he opted for an unspectacular and downplaying, "Wasn't that bad."

The fresh air he inhaled, by speaking for the first time since he sat there, made him cough once more. With a shaky hand, he grabbed his water bottle and took a small sip. It tasted like smoke, and for a split second, Casey was terrified he would throw up for the second time. But he managed to control his body and gulped down another sip, trying to soothe his burning throat.

Boden's face creased when he heard his men speak so openly about a possible bad outcome. He shook his head but wasn't ready to comment. Cruz was right; a funeral would have been the result had his men obeyed his orders.

Casey was only alive because of Joe and Christopher's persistent misconduct. Had they followed his command, the boy and Matthew would be dead by now.

But that was the drama he tried to manage every time they were called to an emergency site: providing a skillful balance of helping civilians and protecting their own. Nobody had told him how difficult it could get as he took the job years ago. It was almost unbearable, and Wallace wondered every night since then how he even was getting the job done. Those people were his family, and he sent them into situations that could cost them their lives. It was inhuman and at times so difficult that it took him his breath away, and he caught himself, more than once, to send a quick prayer to heaven. Fortunately, the Guardian Angels he learned to believe in were once again on his and his team's side today.

His musing was interrupted by a heavy cough coming from Casey next to him. The young Captain struggled with his breathing more than the others since they got out of this smoky deathtrap. Boden knew that Casey never would let it show, but he was heading for a breakdown. His hands were shaking, and his face showed that kind of distress that let healthy man sleep for 24 hours straight. And the way Boden saw it, his captain was anything but healthy. Even from the beginning of this shift, he had been looking exhausted.

The Chief had already thought of calling another ambulance as soon as they were out of the building, and Matt had started to retch right next to him. But they all recovered relatively quickly, and Boden had the suspicion that his Captain would have refused treatment anyhow. He had a much better shot at getting Matt to the hospital by luring him there, by giving him the chance to check on his friend.

He knew Casey was worried about Severide's condition. No one had told him so far that Kelly had lost consciousness on the scene. If Casey actually had known, the chances for Boden to have to try to control and calm down an agitated Captain would be high. Maybe the others knew that too, and that's why nobody informed Casey. Boden could only hope that Severide would be already up and coherent when 51 would arrive. Otherwise, he sure as hell would get an earful from his Captain, despite him being the higher-ranked officer.

Besides, he wanted to know about his Squat-Lieutenant's condition as well. In the last few months, his concerns seemed to be saved only for his Captain, but that wasn't the case. He cared about all of his men, and he knew Severide hadn't had it easy either. Having an eye on his best friend can't have been an easy task. He was sure it must have been at least frustrating as hell.

"Okay, guys, let's pack it up," he yelled! Soon everyone made their way to their rigs. Boden looked at Herrmann and told him, "Station 20 already is doing a good job with overhaul." Then he glanced briefly at Matt. Casey's face was blank. Boden looked him in the eyes even if the next sentence wasn't directed at him, "Lieutenant, what do you say? Should we stop by Med on our way home? Get an idea of how Kelly and the kid are doing?"

His plan seemed to be working, for now, causing Casey to smile slightly at him as he nodded in silent agreement.

"Sure thing, Chief!" Hermann couldn't be happier about the development of things, and with an enthusiastic voice, he ordered his driver, "Otis, get us to Med!"

"Copy that, Lieutenant!" and he started the engine.


Fifty-one made it in record time to the hospital. Otis parked the rig, and everyone jumped out and headed to the E.D.

Casey felt sick. His head was pounding, and he could feel the spasms in his lungs every time he tried to breathe. He was confident he wouldn't need any pills today to get some sleep. To be honest, he wasn't sure whether he was awake or already halfway falling asleep. Everything felt kind of hazy and unreal. His feet could just as easily have stepped on cotton wool. He sensed a dizziness wash all over him, and the harsh light from the neon lamps felt like pins scratching up his retina. His eyes began to water, and he had to fight the urge to touch them. He knew he would just aggravate them even further.

Nevertheless, he could keep up with the others, and when he saw Brett, he even sprinted past his Chief and the others.

"Brett," he called out. He was punished with another coughing fit and had to stop before he could reach the blonde woman.

Sylvie was surprised when she saw him, "Casey!" Looking at his beaten body, concern plastered all over her face, and she asked, "Hey, you're okay?"

He cut her off by waving his hand and trying to hide the next cough. She took the last steps towards him and hugged him with noticeable relief. "Severide's gonna be so thrilled when he wakes up!"

Matt broke away from the embrace and looked worriedly into the face of his counterpart, "What do you mean? When he wakes up?"

Brett looked at Boden, not sure what was going on. "He lost consciousness on the scene and hasn't woken up yet." She informed her Captain. "Sorry. I thought you knew."

Matt was horrified, "I didn't."

Boden stepped next to him and addressed his P.I.C., "What's the word from the doctors?"

Brett turned her gaze away from Casey. "They're doing a head CT right now."

Boden nodded and turned to his men, "Okay, guys, everyone who's feeling sick or has trouble breathing should get themselves checked out by one of the doctors. The others, let's take this to the waiting area."

Everyone began to scramble and made their way to the lounge. They all knew that this would take some time, and standing here, in the middle of the E.D., wouldn't help anyone, let alone Severide.

Casey, who at first didn't move, now started to pace the hallway. He could still sense the presence of Boden, Herrmann, and Cruz. But he wouldn't be bothered by that right now. His thoughts were with Kelly.

His knees were weak, but the nervousness running through his body let him go on with his pacing. His breathing was shallow, and anyone, even without a trained medical eye, could see that he had trouble with getting enough oxygen.

Sylvie looked worried as she approached him, "Hey, Captain. Why don't we all go and sit for a minute?"

Boden, who was watching the situation with concern, followed her lead, "Casey. Brett's right. Come have a seat!" And he pointed at one of the many plastic chairs standing on the other side of the hallway.

Matt didn't stop, but he turned to his boss and glared at him, "I should have known!" He shook his head as he pointed at Boden, "you should have told me!" His voice sounded hoarse.

Boden sighed, "And what good would have that done?" Matt glared again. "You saved the kid," Boden said with a hint of anger in his voice, "that should be enough for you right now."

Sylvie looked at Casey, and with a smile, she asked, "really? You've got the kid out? That's great, Captain!"

Casey huffed and kept pacing the floor. He wasn't interested in her positive attitude right now. "How long does a freaking head CT take anyway?" Every sentence now followed by a slight cough or rattling breath sound.

"I'm sure they're done any minute now," Brett told him. "Kelly's gonna be fine. You know that, right?"

"Why are you so damn calm?" Matt frowned at her.

Sylvie took Casey's non-bandaged hand, "I just know it. Stella wasn't too worried either. That counts for something, don't you think?"

At least that made him stop moving, and he just stood there, his hand being held, his voice trembling, "Don't know," then he frowned, "where's she anyway?"

Brett smiled at him, "Oh, she went with him to radiology."

Casey wrinkled his nose and harshly, almost angry, let go of her hand, "But she's not worried?" His voice laced with sarcasm. She got the inkling that he didn't believe her.

"Well, not as in letting them take him up there alone."

Casey huffed but ended up with another wet cough fit. The young paramedic put a hand on her Captain's forearm and spoke softly, "maybe we should get you checked now? That cough sounds awful. Did you inhale a lot of smoke?"

Matt moved away from her and shook his head, and mumbled, "I'm fine. Severide's the one hurt." Then he looked at the watch on the other side of the wall, "when did you say they took him?"

Cruz, who hadn't talked, stepped up and tried to reassure his Captain, "Casey, Sylvie's right. Severide's going to be fine. He's just too stubborn for any serious head damage."

"Definitely too stubborn." They all turned around to see Stella Kidd approaching.

Her witty remark and smiling face should have told Casey that she was bearing good news, but his mind was too shaken and his anxiety way out of line as that he was able to pick up on that.

He immediately asked, "What's going on? … Talk to me! … Is Severide going to be okay? … I swear to God if Kelly's… ". Matt couldn't stop talking, despite the coughs interrupting almost every sentence now. His thoughts wouldn't slow down, and his fear of losing his best friend got the better of him. His hands were shaking, and his face let everyone around know what kind of battle he was fighting right now.

Boden put his hand on Matt's shoulder and, with a firm yet kind voice, tried to get his attention, "Casey, let Kidd talk!" He looked at her and nodded.

Stella stood in front of Casey and looked him straight in the eyes. "Kelly's gonna be fine! He's got a massive concussion, but head CT was clear. No bleeding or fracture. As Joe said, he's got a stubborn head."

Every single person present was visibly relieved. Boden closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath. Hermann grinned and almost did a pirouette when he turned to Cruz and punched him lightly in the ribs, "Ha! You called it!"

"Didn't I?!" With a smirk, Joe Cruz turned to Casey, "See, Captain; the Squat-Lieutenant's too stubborn for anything serious."

Casey barely blinked at him, but everyone could tell he was just as relieved. Yet his features remained tense. He tried to take a deep breath, but it felt like his lungs wouldn't expand, and once again, he was doubled over with another coughing fit. He thought he was going to throw up and hastily put his hand over his mouth. He could feel wet mucus and was surprised when he saw his saliva had a slightly grey shade. He tried to hide it and turned away from the others. He took a couple of steps away from his fellows.

Matt's head was spinning, and he barely could hold his balance. His thoughts felt foggy again, and he had difficulties getting a grip on them. He knew he was relieved but still couldn't get a hold of the anxiety cruising through his body. 'What the hell,' he thought? 'Get a grip!' he scolded himself. 'Kelly's alright.' He reminded himself. But, his labored breathing and the constant feel of choking let his heart rate skyrocketing. His eyes started to burn even more now, and he wasn't exactly sure if it were tears streaming down his cheeks or if the light finally took its toll on them enough to start the waterworks. He used his bandaged hand to dry them. It turned out that this probably wasn't his best idea.

The dirt and roughness of the fabric made things worse, and he began to blink rapidly.

The other first responders looked worried as Sylvie took a step after their fellow firefighter. "Hey, Casey, you're okay?" she asked and put a hand on his back. She instantly could feel his body trembling. "Why don't you come sit over there, and I'll get a doctor to have a look?"

It was her second attempt to get him to acknowledge that he wasn't okay. Just as on cue, she heard his rattling breath again as he tried to take a bigger inhale.

"I'm not too fond of that sound of your lungs. You having trouble breathing?"

Casey shrugged her hand off and tried to get away. "I'm fine," he whispered. Then he turned around and looked at Boden and hissed, "You should have told me! I'm the Captain of this unit. I should have known."

Boden tried to stay calm, "We'll talk about this later. First, we'll make sure you're good—Brett's right. I can hear that wheezing of your lungs from miles away. And your eyes need some saline."

Casey tried to stand tall to prove a point but failed miserably. Everyone could see how much effort it took him to look confident and strong. And yet, he failed miserably at it.

"No," he stated, "not until someone's told me if Severide's all right."

Silence followed this sentence. You could tell every member in this hallway was confused at first and then worried.

"Uhm, Casey, I've already told everyone," Kidd made a step forward, but Boden held her back.

"Casey, what's going on? Talk to me!" He looked him straight in his red, watery eyes.

"I wanna know how Kelly is!" He barely managed to get the words out. Then he looked around him, "and where the hell is Andy? He should be here by now! I hate freelancing!" His speech was almost hushed and slurred.

If not before, now at least, everyone was worried, and questioning glances were exchanged. Casey was aware of this and grew impatient, "I asked questions. Now I want answers!"

Matt stumbled forward but had to stop when his shallow breathing got worse. He reflexively put his hands on his knees to get his accessory respiratory muscles to help him get deeper breaths in.

Boden looked at Cruz and ordered him, "Get a doctor!"

But Joe continued to look puzzled at Casey, who began to sway. Boden narrowed his eyes as he looked at his Captain, who finally lost his balance. He stepped forward in front of Cruz, blocking his view as he addressed him again, "Now! - Go!" The squat-member recovered from his shock and nodded eagerly, "On it, Chief!"

The others were already by Casey's side, and Boden observed as they lowered a barely conscious Matt onto the floor into a recovery position. Only then did Boden notice the bluish tint on his captain's lips.