Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material appearing in this story. The OC's belong to their respective owners.


Mewtwo and Ozpin's Conversation - Alternate Reactions

"So, that means you saw Salem." Ozpin said.

"I have."

"And you know that she cannot be killed, correct?"

"By you. That is what Jinn referred to. She never said that the rest of us can kill her. You can't kill her… but the rest of us can. And for the record, defeat does not always mean death. Even if she can't be killed, we can know her down a few pegs if we beat her intelligently. Did you not realize that?"

Ozpin jawdropped, trying to raise his finger up but lowering it. "I… I… uh… no…"

"I thought not."


Reaction 2

"Did you not realize that?"

Ozpin went completely white, dumbstruck by Mewtwo's question. "I… it… it never occurred to me that defeating her didn't mean we had to kill her…"

"…Typical."


Reaction 3

"Did you not realize that?"

"Mmph!" Ozpin gulped… before suddenly sulking in a corner in shame. "No…"

"Will you get out of that corner and man up!"


Reaction 4

"Did you not realize that?"

"No! No I did not!" Ozpin said as he fell dramatically on his desk and sobbed into his arms.

"…Crybaby."


Reaction 5

"Did you not realize that?"

"…I'll be right back." Ozpin said as he walked to the elevators, went inside, pressed the buttons and closed the doors as he went all the way down to the first floor as he then walked outside, all the while Mewtwo was standing there with his arms folded. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" He would scream outside.

"I'll take that as a no."


Reaction 6

"…Hang on, I got an idea." Mewtwo said as he teleported away.

Salem hung by the edge of the cliff, holding a flower and pulling off petals. "I kill him, I kill him not, I kill him-" She was suddenly grabbed by Mewtwo. "Huh?!"

"You're coming with me!" He said and then teleported back to Ozpin's office.

"Mmmph!" Ozpin nearly spat out his drink. "Salem?!"

"Ozma…" Salem turned to Mewtwo. "What is the meaning of this?!"

"Alright, I'm going to ask you a question and I'm going to let Ozma hear it." He said. "Salem, how come you didn't just use your powers to get the relics without having the need to use the maiden's powers? And Ozma… you couldn't just give Amber medical attention? You just had to stuff her into a machine and that be the end of it?"

Ozpin sweatdropped. "Well... Uh… I… it seemed like a good idea!"

As for Salem, mathematical equations were appearing in front of her head. "Um… pardon me?" She asked as Mewtwo facepalmed.


Reaction 7

"How come you didn't just use your powers to get the relics without having the need to use the maiden's powers? And Ozma… you couldn't just give Amber medical attention? You just had to stuff her into a machine and that be the end of it?"

"Hmph! For your information, that is highly classified! I have my reasonings!" Ozpin said in defense. "Plus, I've tried that but it didn't go the way that I had hoped!"

"…Wait… what…?" Salem said dumbfoundedly to Mewtwo's question.

Mewtwo took an annoyed deep breath. "You have the same magical powers as Ozma. You could have just done it yourself instead of building an army consisting of a former Atlesian scientist, a man who is grieving over the loss of his sister, a psychotic scorpion, a female with fire powers, a boy with daddy issues and a girl with self esteem issues. You could have done it by yourself. Did you not realize that?"

"Hmm…" Salem rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "The thought never really occurred to me."

Mewtwo facepalmed. "Clearly, I am surrounded by idiots. I cannot believe we are caught in the middle of a war over a petty breakup!"


If Gloria met the Iron Masked Marauder

"Well well well, if it isn't the God of Pokemon himself!" The Iron Masked Marauder smirked. "I've always wanted to catch you."

"You brought misery and misfortune to those around you… making Pokemon evil with your inventions, captured poor innocent Celebi… all because you wanted to show it to Giovanni, but you let your power get to your head, thinking it would be best to get rid of him and then take over the world. You were arrested, but you escaped and went back to what you were doing… and now that you have the audacity to say that you wish to capture me in one of those Dark Balls?"

"Yeah, so what? I could make a profit if I… sold… you…" The Marauder looked around. "Why do I hear bagpipes?"

"You… YOU!" Gloria growled as she was with the group as a fiery aura surrounded her and flames coming out of her eyes. "YOU DID ALL OF THAT BULLSHITE?!" She yelled as she walked straight to the Marauder. "OF ALL THE FOKIN' NERVE! YOU GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO DO SOMETHIN' SO FOKIN' HIDEOUS THAT YA HAD TA GO AND BOAST ABOUT IT TO THE GOD HIMSELF?!"

"Is… is she always like this?" Winter asked.

"Pretty much." Weiss responded nonchalantly.

"Mmph!" The Marauder looked absolutely disturbed by her. "You didn't tell me she was Scottish!" He said, and then earned a knee to his crotch. "MMMPH!"

Gloria grabbed a hold of his collar. "BUDDY, I AM NOT EVEN DONE WITH YA! NOW LISTEN CLOSELY, YOU GOOD FOR NOTHIN' SLAG!"

Marnie pulled out a bag of popcorn and listened to Gloria's Scottish rant. "Toge Toge…" Parfait said in bewilderment.

"Clearly, this is a fitting punishment." Arceus said while Suicune looked absolutely surprised by Gloria's rant, even Celebi looked shocked.

"Bi bi bi?" Celebi brought out a book of Scottish Slang. "Bi… bi…" He let out a gasp and put his hand over his mouth. "Bi bi!" He said and then pulled out a sign. "You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"Alright, alright! Get me away from this woman!" The Marauder pleaded as he tried to run away but Gloria tackled her to the ground and got into a massive fighting dust cloud… and just a few wee seconds later, Gloria walked away while the Marauder was turned into a pretzel knot.

"Take that wee lad to the dump. I'm done with him."

"Right." Arceus said as he called upon Giratina to drag the mangled Marauder into the Distortion World.

"Good riddance." Gloria said while dusting her hands off.


Thriving Shroobs

"Hmm… hey Mario, you know those Shroobs that are building a new community near Toad Town?" Captain Toad asked.

"Yeah?"

"What exactly are they calling their community?"

"Shroob Village."

"Oh, neat! I'm glad those guys are prospering."


At Shroob Village

Several Shroobs were going about their day, building homes, growing mushrooms and watering them, a Shroob UFO was newly built but was delivering mail to everyone and also had a letter symbol on the UFO, Shroob kids were playing on a playground and had invited a few Toad and Koopa children to play with them, as one Koopa was spinning a merry-go-round fast enough that launched a few Shroobs in some purple bushes.

"Ooops!" The Koopa sweatdropped.

The Shroob kids emerged from the bushes. "Woo! Let's do that again!"

"I don't care if I'll get sick from this! Again! Woo!"

All in all, the village was prospering as Master Hand was watching this from afar. "See? All of this could be done without violence." He said, turning to the spirits of two Princess Shroobs.

Princess Shroob let out a soft smile, a tear running through her cheek. "It appears we have been going about this all wrong…"

"Indeed." Elder Princess Shroob agreed. "To think we should have listened to the counsel of the other Shroobs and not be blinded by our desperation."

"Indeed!" Master Hand said. "Invasions can be quite problematic, but if you just talk it out and not do anything reckless, I'm sure that you could prosper in a new land!" He said.

Princess Shroob chuckled, closing her eyes. "Alright… we've seen enough. We're satisfied."

"Take us back."

"As you wish." Master Hand said, snapping his fingers as the two Princesses disappeared. He then turned around and floated away as a Shroob turned his head to where Master Hand once floated along with the princesses.

"Did I just see… nah, probably not." He said and walked off.


Haunted Hospital

Jade and E. Gadd kicked open the doors of the hospital. "Alright, nobody panic!" E. Gadd exclaimed. "We heard this hospital has been haunted by Boos!"

"Where is that Boo?" Jade asked as they walked around until they found the Boo they were looking for.

"AHA! There you are!" E. Gadd smirked as the Boo turned around, as they saw it was holding a medical bag.

"Huh?!"

"What, never seen a medical Boo before?" Dr. Boo asked.

"I… suppose not…" Jade said as she looked at her grandfather awkwardly.

"Have a good day, doctor!" E. Gadd said as they walked away.

"Weirdos…" Dr. Boo said as he grabbed a clipboard and floated on in to another room. "Alright, it is time for your monthly checkup, your majesty."

"Mmph…" King Boo folded his stubby arms. "I hate checkups."

"Well, you have to do it. Remember the last time you skipped a checkup?" He asked as King Boo's eyes widened, flashing back to something horrible, hearing the sounds of a lady screaming and a cat screeching as he shook out the horrid thought.

"…I'll be good, doctor…" He pouted.

"Excellent. Now, let us begin the checkup!"


A few minutes later

King Boo floated out of the room, holding a lollipop in his mouth as he noticed Luigi looking at him weirdly. "What? Never seen a Boo with a lollipop before?"


Oh, the random bullshittery we do on Discord regarding the first skit! *snickers* Had a lot of fun writing that one.